leearenberg Next stop The Windy City and #ouatchi .. Ready for a great weekend hosting for @creationent and rocking with @samuraifishla .. Let’s get it on #oncers .. All ships welcome in #Grumpy'sNavy (x)
Thor’s stolen Hammer (the good bits they missed out)
Author some very ancient person and extra bits by ladyoftheteaandblood
Comic (Ihope) one shot
The classic tale of how, Thor loses his hammer and he and Brother Loki
have to dress up to get it back,
Please accept my apologies if you are well versed in Norse mythology, I
may have taken one or two liberties with this.
“Little brother, I have need of your assistance” Thor’s yell
could be heard all round Asgard’s palace as he searched for Loki.
“Ah there you are, your presents is required, there has been thieves
afoot in Asgard” Thor roared at his brother who looked at him and sighed.
“Really Thor must you come barging into my rooms when you know
“Ha! When you finally get a girl you can give your hand a rest. Now follow me” Loki growled but did as he was told,
“What exactly has happened that you need to go shouting round
here like a bull on heat” he asked
“My hammer “The mighty Mjollnir” that only the worthy can hold,
has been taken by ……?” Thor looked kind of sheepish
“So what you are saying is, you need my brain to solve your
problem?” Loki grinned and realize for once things might be in his favour.
he, the lowly younger brother could solve this and helped the troglodyte (Thor)
get back his second favourite toy. He could win some favour with Odin.
“Asgard is in peril all the while Mjollnir is not with me; I
will be unable to protect this land and my father’s people” said Thor in his best pompous, voice.
“So you need your little brother to help fill your “GLORIOUS PURPOSE” in life, to be a dick!” Loki smirked at him.
“At least I have one, you dear brother are just the spare and have no purpose at all”
“At another time, We shall test that theory Thor”
By this time they had made it to Thor’s room were, as he slept as soundly as a wart hog in mud, his favorite toy had had been taken.
“It’s the giant Thrym” said Loki after looking at the scene of
“And little brother you know this HOW?” Thor was more than a
little pissed off, as it had taken Loki less than thirty seconds to come up
“Oh I don’t know big brother. Maybe the fucking great footprint
gave it away” came the reply from the smug face.
Thor hated to be made to look an Asgardian Dick! So to get his smart
arse of a brother back, Thor sent him to
Thrym’s castle to find out the truth. Maybe the little runt would be stepped
Unfortunately for Thor Loki returned, and even more unfortunately the news was not good.
Thrym did indeed have the mighty Mjollnir and would not be
giving it back anytime soon. He would only return the Hammer- that only the
worthy could lift, yeah right! -If he got to marry Freyja.
Asgard was in shock,
although some thought it was better than the Asgardian soap “Down Asgardian Way”
and couldn’t wait for the news of what would happen next.
Heimdall came up with the idea so it’s said but many feel it
may have been a bet by the warriors three, to see if they could get the two brothers to do it.
Heimdall suggested that Thor dress as Freyja and be Thrym
bride, and as backup he could take Loki as his hand maid. After much debating,
mainly about what a hand maid normally did for Thor! the plan was agreed.
Although not by Loki, who felt he had a much better figure to play the bride.
The two mighty warriors went off with the lady Sif to be
dressed for their adventure. The warriors three watched from peep holes into
the room and tried not to laugh to hard, as the young men put on their wedding
“For Odin’s sake Thor, you cannot fart like Bilgesnipe dressed
Loki said in despair,
“Thrym maybe dim but even he knows of your windy record. And stop
scratching your balls it’s unladylike”
“These undergarment that Sif gave me are lacy and itch” Thor
complained loudly. Loki was pretty sure he heard a laugh nearby but let it
“Why do you need those? He will only see the dress and veil,
you sodding ass”
“Sif said it would make me walk as a girl should”
At which point he put on the high heels to go with the outfit,
and stumbled round the room like a drunk Tina Turner.
“I think maybe she was having you on, and try to walk like
this” Loki put his high heels on and moved round the room with an unnerving grace. Almost like he’d done this before.
“Are you sure you are not adopted little brother?”
Thor ignored his brothers advice went carried on plodding about the room like
some uncoordinated Oxen. He passed a mirror and checked out his new look,
“Loki does my bum look big in this?”
“Your arse big brother, is just big. Don’t go blaming the pretty
dress” Loki sashayed around the room, swishing his long black locks, and
twirling the silk skirt a bit more, just to piss Thor off.
“Ha you look like a girl” he spat at him
“That’s the point you Hamster turd! I said it should be me that
played the bride”
“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride! Hey little brother?”
Once Sif had, had her fun with makeup on Loki, who actually
quite liked the look, she turned her attentions to Thor. He point blank refused to have his
beard removed or even lipstick added. Loki called him a mewling quim, and he
and Siff hoped that veil would do the
“When I get to Thryms castle, I will fill the gate of hell with
the screams of my victims” Thor boomed
“Not in those heels you won't” snarked Loki.
“The two went off on their mighty quest. They where guarded on their journey by the warriors
three, who laughed all the way there and made some very nasty Jokes about
Thor’s wedding night!
Once at the Castle, the
giant Thrym told the three to piss off and took Thor and Loki into the great
A great feast was held in honour of his bride to be, and Thor
eat an entire ox, a net full of salmon and drank six barrels of mead by
Thrym was to say the least a little perplexed by his lady’s manners,
till Loki informed him that his beautiful bride had starved herself for weeks
in anticipation of her big day.
Then he shoved his brother in the ribs and told him, he’d never
get him back into the bloody dress the following day if he didn’t stop filling
his fat mouth!
Thrym spent some time watching his adorable bride dance in a
rather butch manner, went over to kiss her still thinking it was Freyja. He lifted the veil just a tiny bit and in the gloom of the hall found rather red eyes glaring at him. No one should disturb the great
Thor when he was doing the Macorana.
He went and questioned the handmaiden (Loki) about the strange eyes of his full figured bride to be. Loki at this point
was chatting up one of the young servant boys and felt sure he’d pulled, so was a little put out to have to answer the question.
“Oh she just tired my lord, not been sleeping much due to
excitement over her wedding night” Loki informed him.
Thrym egged on by these encouraging words felt he should wait
no longer, and went and fetched Mjollnir.
He pulled Thor to his side, and went to hold the hammer above their heads to bless the union that night, so he could get the fair lady with the
pleasing big butt in his bed.
“Boy is he in for a shock” thought Loki, trying hard not to
laugh at the mental picture of his brother being shagged by the giant!
Thor decided enough was enough, kicked of the high heels that
he’d kinda got used to, ripped of the bridal gown and grabbing the mighty
Mjollnir, attacked the giants, killing all of them in his pretty lacy undies. A
sight Loki will never forget or stop telling people about.
On the way home to Asgard, Mjollnir all safe and sound, Loki
had some questions for Thor. How could Thrym pick up the Hammer if only the
worthy could do so?
And a much bigger question why had Thor kept the lacy
Is it angst, or is it mystery? Who knows! I left the ending for this quite open. You can interpret it how you want. I just wanted to depict Clint’s loyalty, even to those he doesn’t quite get on with [yet], much like with Pietro. Thank you to @cosmichorse95 for this request. I perhaps took the title of Unsteady too literally but screw it, I’m rubbish at Song!Fics. I hope you all like it!
Can you do a loki or thor or hawkeye x reader based on “Unsteady” by X-Ambassadors? Oh a d I loved Fairytale! Not that it’s much of a shock, I love all your fics :D
“We got a tip,” Nat said, waving the file in front of
Clint’s face. He grunted, and paused his video game. He was already perfect at
it anyway. Nat liked to joke that it was because he spent all day on it, every
day. He called it training.
“A building on Main Street. Potentially got our guy.”
“I appreciate your attitude but we can’t just go busting in a building on a tip,” Clint smirked, resuming his game.
Nat pushed his feet off of the coffee table, and lowered
herself onto it, purposefully blocking his view of the television. It was the
only reason he came to Stark tower anymore.
“I know that, genius,” She smirked, watching him roll his
eyes before pausing his game again, “but I’ve got a plan.”
Nat kicked his shin.
“Are you in or would you rather fight zombies?”
“They’re clickers actually.”
“Whatever. They creep me out.”
“And you creep me out. What else is new?”
“Guess I’ll just take the new girl then,” Nat sighed,
standing up. Now Clint turned off the Xbox completely.
“What do you mean? What new girl?”
anyone who is intetested in short horror stories, or is already apart of the nosleep/creepypasta subreddits then you should read my short story that i just submitted!!!! as well as @harrysparadox first story! it is gold.
swimming pools are a weird concept, huh? - two young sisters spend a few weeks at their aunt’s house each summer. their main attraction is the rather large pool, they’ve played in for years. but they are about to learn something new about the pool, and god knows what else. (written by me).
i don’t know if i’ll ever write again - a popular novelist is sitting in his study, on a perfectly normal night. doing his routine of writings, trashing, starting over, and going in completely different routes while he’s lost in his story. completely normal writer expieriences, yeah? that is, until an annoyance of a tap on his third story windy won’t stop interrupting his creative processes. (written by @harrysparadox).
I am back at work this morning, but dreamin’ of this blustery summer weekend.
I texted Angela Saturday morning with an, “80% chance of rain, you still want to do this?” text, which in hindsight, was rather silly of me, because that girl is always up for a good adventure - rain or shine.
As we hopped into the kayak in the morning, the sun was showing some serious promise. Who cares if it’s a little overcast, right? we got this. And off we went, into the high seas on Toronto’s harbour.
A friend at work had mentioned he would be out on the island on Saturday on his yacht (yacht!), and welcomed us to stop by for a beer with him and his wife. Ummm, yes and please!
So we headed to the island, in search of his boat. And then dined over beer, and cheese, and crackers on a picnic table, under a tree, hidden from the rain.
We then said our goodbyes, and headed into the fog, as we made our way around the islands, stopped at the cutest little cafe for an ice-cream, and then voyaged back to the mainland.
It was rainy, at times very chilly, and windy, but that didn’t stop us from having a wonderful Saturday.
(ps. Saturday also gave me one of my fall time favourite photos! The one of me in the yellow jacket, with Toronto in the background :) )
adriofthedeadのコメント： it’s too hard, windy. i have to yell at people until they cater to my petty discomforts and my illegitimate feminism trigger even tho that’s a blatant slap to the face of people who have real triggers. pay attention 2 me