Have you ever ran into a film like American Ultra, one you were kind of interested in but not quite enough to buy a ticket – and also, morals aren’t really an issue with you? If so, you’re probably familiar with torrenting. The way torrenting works is by connecting your computer to anyone running the software and downloading a file piece by piece directly from their computers, essentially treating them like teeny, tiny servers connected to other teeny, tiny servers. Microsoft saw that idea and thought to themselves, “Let’s do that, but with our updates. And we’ll make it a default feature!” Then they laughed maniacally as lightning struck outside Microsoft HQ.
They’re calling this fuckery “Windows Update Delivery Optimization,” or WUDO. I initially figured this couldn’t be a real thing. No company would be that fucking bold to think their users would be cool with their computer connecting to random, unknown sources – especially since that’s one of the first things they teach you when you get your first computer: DON’T FUCKING CONNECT TO COMPUTERS YOU DON’T COMPLETELY TRUST, DUMBASS! So I made my way over to WUDO.org, which turned out to be a German site for the World Unimotorcycle Dragrace Organisation (sic). So don’t bother going to that site unless you want to see the raddest shit you’ve ever seen!