Windows and Virgins

read it on the AO3 at

by destinysbastard

The one in which Dean works as a window washer and two things happen twice:
Dean gets some during his job, and a virgin is deflowered.

Words: 1936, Chapters: ½, Language: English

read it on the AO3 at

And my favorite new thing, window cleaners at children’s hospitals have started dressing as superheroes when they’re washing windows.

The initiative seems to have originated at Evelina Children’s Hospital at St. Thomas’ Hospital, London, where the window washers reportedly have a clause in their contract that requires them dress up to entertain the kids while working. And it’s caught on, with window cleaners in Memphis and Pittsburgh inspired to slip into costume when working. 

au ideas you never asked for
  • “HEY STOP! YOU’RE STEALING MY NEIGHBOR’S DOG! WHAT THE FU – oh, they hired a dog walker? hahaha haha.. ha… carry on”
  • “i’m in the nurse’s office a lot with migraines and you’re always in here organizing her tongue depressors and i really don’t think you go to this school so what gives”
  • “the building manager neglected to tell me the window washers would be coming by today so excuuuuuuse me for thinking that twenty three floors up was high enough that i could dance around in my office without being seen”
  • “you’ve been awkwardly inching your way towards the human sexuality section of the bookstore i work at for like fifteen minutes are you looking for something in particular or –?”
  • “you and your friends have been playing the penis game in the library for the last five minutes and none of you have gotten above a quiet yell and i’m really just trying to study over here so i’m gonna put an end to this by winning the game”
  • “it’s 2 in the morning and i was just trying to get home but i left my sunroof open all day and now there’s a squirrel in my car and it scared me and i drove into a pole – would you please stop laughing you’re a cop. you’re supposed to be helping
  • “my favorite band dropped a new single today and i’ve had it on repeat for seven hours and i can see you judging me but that isn’t going to make me shut it off"
  • “hey new neighbor it appears that your dog likes me a thousand times better than she likes your partner and they’re really jealous and i’m sorry but not really because hellloooooo there”
  • “you can’t get tattooed drunk, come back in the morning and if you still want my name on your ass we’ll talk”

Window washer Alcides Moreno survived a 47-story fall after his scaffolding collapsed atop the Solow Tower in NY. He clung to the platform, becoming like a surfboard in the sky due to wind resistance that slowed his descent. Despite falling 500 feet, crashing into the concrete, undergoing 16 surgeries, and suffering damaged kidneys, collapsed lungs, and 10 broken bones, he baffled doctors by making a full recovery. Source

I need an AU where Levi works at the 20th floor of an high-rise, and every monday people in his office will get giddy and excited because monday ist he day where this hot green-eyed window-washer will come and hang outside the windows to clean them thoroughly. Sometimes the boy will even take off his shirt to whipe it across his sweaty forehead, and then he will reveal a tanned six-pack on his stomach, and it‘s causing everybody to stop working and enjoy the view instead.

And while Levi appreciates clean windows and the decent cleaning-techniques of this stupidly hot boy, he’s so annoyed by all the people, men and women, getting distracted and fawning over him just because he might be extremely a little attractive. This ist the case until that one stormy, cold monday, when bright-eyes is working outside again in a way too revealing tank top, and when suddenly a downpour starts and soakes the poor boy to the skin. And Levi, being grumpy but not an asshole, opens the window to let him in, even provides him with a towel, a cup of tea and his own jacket (which is way too small, but it’s the thought that counts) to warm him up.

And from that day on everybody is jealous of Levi, because everytime Eren (they learned that that’s the name of hot window-washer-boy) will spot Levi from the other side of the pane of glass, his face will light up and he will send him, and only him, a dazzling smile, waving his hands in an enthusiastic greet. And Levi will snap at all of his coworkers who dare to drool over his window-washer, before he will wave back at Eren, because he just loves to see how those green eyes will begin to sparkle at that.

part 2 would be here

and here is part 3. omg.

part 4. what did i do.


Window washers trapped on scaffold outside One World Trade Center

Rescue crews rushed to One World Trade Center early Wednesday afternoon where scaffolding is dangling from the side of the soaring tower. Two window washers were trapped outside the 69th floor of the skyscraper in Downtown Manhattan until they were rescued through the glass. (Yahoo News)

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