So our great grandma’s got this table, and the legs are just kind of… ladies. For no particular reason. Just ladies. She’s always had it.

She was telling a story about how when I was little, I hit my head on “one of the boobs.”

So I texted my sister:

“Well that explains everything”

Then she told me not to talk to her.

I think the real reason I took so long to watch The Princess Bride is that when I was younger, my sister and I somehow both got its title mixed up with The Princess Diaries

Seriously, I remember watching like ten minutes of TPD and thinking “This is the movie my dad says all those lines from?”