wilson's diner

101 Things That Are More Deserving of the Seat At Williams Than Lance $troll

DISCLAIMER: I don’t hate him like this anymore, i’m posting this purely for comedic purposes and i hope all the stroll fans can have a good hearty laugh over this too because i have no beef with any of y’all. you can tell how dated this list is by many of the things on it lmfao also you could substitute basically anything in that title and it’d have the same effect. thank u & enjoy

  1. the lizard galavanting across the track in singapore
  2. bernie ecclestone himself
  3. niki lauda, at his current state
  4. max verstappen’s sister
  5. max verstappen’s grandma
  6. tom cruise
  7. sherm squarepants
  8. the stingray that killed steve irwin
  9. larry the cucumber
  10. the worm from labryinth 
  11. jake from state farm
  12. ALF
  13. becky with the good hair
  14. my 65 year old neighbor who is currently having a sneezing fit in his backyard
  15. Felipe Nasr’s receding hairline
  16. the chunks of skin that come off of my right toe when i don’t wear socks
  17. the o shit waddup frog
  18. hennogarvie from the F1 reddit
  19. whatever is left of a supersoft pirelli tyre after 50 laps
  20. cameron from ferris bueller’s day off
  21. clifford the big red dog
  22. Vitaliy Vladasovich Grachov
  23. Manor’s nose light in Singapore that added 1g to the car’s weight
  24. my actual dog
  25. papa john
  26. any or all of mick jagger’s 7 children
  27. lady gaga’s meat dress circa 2010
  28. amanda bynes’ character in Easy A
  29. harambe
  30. wehluigi
  31. the big comfy couch
  32. kanye west
  33. justin timberlake’s 1998 ramen noodle hairstyle
  34. a human made of bees. it’s shaped like a human but it’s just a swarm of bees.
  35. dorkus, the youtube channel that made the thomas the tank remix of we will rock you
  36. deep fried dill pickles
  37. air bud
  38. heat miser
  39. Justin Bieber’s “One Time”
  40. ted cruz the zodiac killer
  41. john green the zodiac killer
  42. Left Shark
  43. Kelsey’s flat tire
  44. the spooky scary skeleton weatherman
  45. that one strand of hair that just will not cooperate
  46. the ikea monkey
  47. siri
  48. Jared Leto’s severed arm in requiem for a dream
  49. a pack of millenials playing pokemon go
  50. betty white
  51. jack white
  52. the woman from this youtube video
  53. the kid in class who always reminds the teacher that we had homework
  54. sonic the hedgehog
  55. sonic the fast food chain
  56. gogurt
  57. the anesthesiologist who tried diagnosing hillary clinton with parkinson’s
  58. bobbi babalooney
  59. the guy who made “what does the fox say”
  60. norman pagenaud
  61. the onion
  62. the mom from that “WHO want lasagna” vine
  63. the leftover food you keep forgetting to throw out and at this point it’s just becoming part of the family
  64. 2007 Britney Spears
  65. the guy who armpit farted along to Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night” in its entirety
  66. Lady Elaine Fairchilde
  67. a carton of tiger tail ice cream
  68. max chilton’s impression of derek zoolander
  69. a furby
  70. the whale from free willy
  71. jimmy fallon
  72. Marcus’s fucked up left leg
  73. the kid banging the oven door while his dad plays the trombone
  74. angela from appleton wisconsin who just wants the 3 wick candles in iced gingerbread and winter candy apple from bath & body works
  75. nigel thornberry
  76. puppymonkeybaby
  77. Amy‘s small toe, which is shorter than the other small toe
  78. buffalo bill from silence of the lambs
  79. the american F1 commentators 
  80. John Mulaney’s friend John who decided to play Tom Jones’ “what’s new pussycat” 21 times in a row in a diner 
  81. wilson the volleyball from castaway
  82. hello kitty
  83. Nico’s sweaty eye
  84. The One That Got Away from the 1982 boycott sleepover
  85. nick offerman’s mustache
  86. that person who always gives out raisins for halloween
  87. pineapple on pizza
  88. Jamie’s left butt cheek 
  89. The Shirt™
  90. Niki’s novomatic cap
  91. Dany’s questionable post-race footware
  92. spit
  93. whoever wrote that huffington post article about how Tim Kaine used to be hot even though he looked like Ted Bundy
  94. the dancing marshals in Hungary
  95. esteban’s runaway tyre in Malaysia
  96. Felipinho Massa
  97. the smutty Bernie Ecclestone/Vladimir Putin fanfic
  98. the feathers that keep coming out of my pillow
  99. David Coulthard’s jaw
  100. the suicidal canadian seagulls 
  101. the skeleton that my 10th grade biology class broke by bending its hand back into its pelvis