wills nightmare

The relationship between misogyny and romance: a SJM study

Why female desire* isn’t problematic, but A Court of Thorns and Roses is.

In which I wade into an issue in depth, praying that the flame war gods do not strike me down.

**Please note that this essay discusses only the misogynist elements of SJM’s writing in the ACOTAR series. There are obviously other problematic elements that require acknowledgement, but this is the one I feel confident in addressing. I haven’t read any of ACOWAR yet.** 

*also, female desire in this instance refers to the desire of the presumed female reader of romance. The reading of romance and YA is obviously not exclusive to women, although a lot of the assumptions of SJM’s work ascribe to the concept of a binary gender.

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Closeness Questions
  1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before making a phone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why?
  4. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
  5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
  6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you choose?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
  8. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
  9. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  10. Take four minutes and tell you partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
  11. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
  12. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  13. Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
  14. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  15. What do you value most in a friendship?
  16. What is your most treasured memory?
  17. What is your most terrible memory?
  18. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
  19. What does friendship mean to you?
  20. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  21. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  22. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
  23. Complete this sentence “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
  24. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.
  25. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  26. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
  27. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
  28. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
  29. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  30. If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?
  31. Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
  32. While on a trip to another city, your spouse/lover meets and spends a night with an exciting stranger. Given that they will never meet again, and could never otherwise learn of the incident, would you want your partner to tell you about it?
4

It’s okay. You’re okay.

How-to-Really-Know-Someone Questions Tag!
  1. How do you feel about birthdays?
  2. Do you believe in fate?
  3. What do you think when a band/artist “sells out”?
  4. What do you think of fans and fandoms?
  5. Any specific personality traits you would like to see in your life partner?
  6. Should parents be their child’s friends?
  7. What do you think of doctor-assisted suicide?
  8. Have you ever blown your top? Why?
  9. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
  10. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
  11. If you could paint a picture of any scenery you’ve seen before, what would you paint?
  12. In the case of prevention of overpopulation, should some people be prohibited from reproducing?
  13. You discover that because of a mix-up at the hospital, your wonderful one-year-old child is not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake?
  14. Have you ever seen a person, an animal, or something else die? How did you feel about it?
  15. What is the most drastic thing you’ve done?
  16. What are your favorite movies?
  17. What is your favorite body part?
  18. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
  19. How important is music in your life?
  20. How would you describe your father in four words?
  21. If you were to change one thing about your physical appearance, what would it be?
  22. Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why?
  23. What is your favorite kind of flower and why?
  24. What do you think about the death penalty?
  25. What is your ideal day?
  26. How thin/fat, small/large, tall/short are you compared to your peers?
  27. If you were a book, what would it be?
  28. Have you ever seen a dead person before? How did you feel about it?
  29. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
  30. Have you ever taken care of a sick person?
  31. Who are the people who have influenced you?
  32. Which of the four cardinal virtues do you embody the most?
  33. What are some things you like about your sibling?
  34. Would you save an extremely talented musician who has the influence to promote good values for the world or a pregnant woman in a situation where it is certain you must choose one over the other?
  35. If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?
  36. What would it take someone to make you feel really fulfilled?
  37. Do you daydream a lot? What do you daydream about?
  38. If you were at a friend’s house for Thanksgiving dinner and you found a dead cockroach in the salad, what would you do?
  39. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?
  40. Do you look like any celebrities?
  41. What activities do you enjoy?
  42. Would you place education as a top priority?
  43. If you had a Death Note, would you use it?
  44. How do you feel about your gender? Does the normal male/female suit you? How much do you act like your supposed sex/gender?
  45. What things have made you cry in the past?
  46. Complete this sentence “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”
  47. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
  48. Who was your best teacher in school? What did you learn? What would they say about you?
  49. How would you like affection to be displayed to you?
  50. Do you think someone could love more than one person at once?
  51. When did you start discovering your own music taste? What was it?
  52. When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time?
  53. If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone you chose, would you?
  54. If you could learn to do anything, what would it be?
  55. What is your greatest accomplishment so far?
  56. Describe the ultimate hell.
  57. What is one event that has impacted your life for good? For bad?
  58. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.
  59. Describe the ultimate paradise/heaven.
  60. Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love?
  61. What do you think about following your dreams? Are you following your dreams?
  62. How would you like to die?
  63. Are you able to kill animals? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
  64. What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
  65. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  66. Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help?
  67. What do you feel guilty about?
  68. What do you believe makes a successful life?
  69. Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict?
  70. While parking late at night, you slightly scrape the side of a Porsche. You are certain no one else is aware of what happened. The damage is minor and would be covered by insurance. Would you leave a note?
  71. What is the one thing that you love the most about yourself?
  72. Would you try smoking? Alcohol? Why?
  73. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
  74. Would you try drugs? What kind? Why?
  75. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
  76. If you could be any fictional character, who would you choose?
  77. What’s the first thing that compels you to an individual?
  78. Who are your closest friends and why are you friends with them?
  79. Do you like having children around you?
  80. If you could throw any kind of party, what would it be like and what would it be for?
  81. Would you be willing to have horrible nightmares for a year if you would be rewarded with extraordinary wealth?
  82. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  83. Define a “friend”.
  84. What are some risky sports/activities you would want to try? Why?
  85. Do you have any biases or prejudices?
  86. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
  87. What would you name the autobiography of your life?
  88. What was the most cherished memory that you had growing up with your mother?
  89. Where do you stand on religion and why?
  90.  
  91. How do you deal with stress?
  92. How do you feel about being alone while eating lunch at school? What about a whole day alone?
  93. What are your favorite books?
  94. Would you save an extremely talented musician (whom you like) who has the influence to promote good values for the world or your father in a situation where it is certain you must choose one over the other?
  95. How similar are you and your sibling in personality? Appearance?
  96. Have you ever woken in the middle of the night and done something apart from going back to sleep?
  97. What music do you like but do not identify with (guilty pleasures)
  98. How do you feel about parties?
  99. Can you sing seriously in a nonmusical situation?
  100. What music do you like and identify with?
  101. How easily seasick/carsick/airsick/elevatorsick are you?
  102. What are your pet peeves?
  103. Read anything interesting lately?
  104. How do you display your affection?
  105. When you get home from work, what would you like someone close to you to do or say in the first few minutes?
  106. Do you get along with people who are from different backgrounds?
  107. If you were to change one thing about your personality, what would it be?
  108. What is the most drastic thing you’ve thought of doing?
  109. How attractive are you in comparison to your peers?
  110. If you could influence people like a celebrity does, how would you use it for the benefit of the planet?
  111. Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)?
  112. Have you ever done any charitable acts?
  113. When you were young, what was the thing that you wanted to be when you grew up? Why?
  114. What should you never say, even in anger and frustration?
  115. What would constitute a perfect day for you?
  116. What do you like to do in your spare time/on weekends?
  117. How do you feel about having kids one day?
  118. Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable?
  119. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
  120. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  121. If you learned that a good friend has AIDS, would you avoid him? What if your brother or sister had AIDS?
  122. What makes you cry?
  123. What do you think about sports?
  124. How and when are abortions okay?
  125. If you were sure you could not fail, what would you attempt to do?
  126. What were you like as a child? How would your parents or other people describe you as a child?
  127. What would you give up for lent?
  128. What do you appreciate most about your life?
  129. If you died or went missing, who would miss you?
  130. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
  131. Who are your heroes/idols and why?
  132. If you were to win $10 million, what would you do with all that money?
  133. Would you still be a relationship with someone who cheated on you?
  134. How do you think your family environment growing up has affected you as a person?
  135. If you could choose anyone, who would you pick as your mentor?
  136. Which of the seven cardinal sins do you embody the most?
  137. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Phan: Those Who Trust - Part 31

Wordcount: 2.1k
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Warnings: past non-con and abuse
Summary: Dan used to be a submissive and now he’s just a broken shell of a man.
Beta: legendarygalaxydragon
A/N: Hope you enjoy. :) x

|| Masterpost ||

“Oh.“

A soft sound that carried so much meaning. Phil knew. Phil knew that Dan was hard. Phil had felt it, and there was no way denying it, and somehow it felt like the room had started spinning, everything surrounding them was a blurry mess.

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gemini terminal

‘verse: 2k12

Characters: Michelangelo, Raphael

Episode tag: “Riddle of the Ancient Aeons”

Summary: Mikey isn’t the one who needs comforting after his last near-death experience—but what else is new?

Note: Named after the Gemini twins Pollux and Castor, because theirs is one of my favorite stories in the entirety of Greek mythology, and because it isn’t hard for me to see Raph and Mikey in them if I try. My title makes sense, shh.


It’s whole days later that Mikey’s door slides open, and closer to morning than midnight, but a tiny intuitive part of his brain must have been ready for it, because he’s already blinking himself awake. Bright light spills into his tight quarters for a few seconds before it’s gone again, and someone makes their way to the side of his bed on silent feet.

He rubs his eyes and tries not to yawn, shifting under his heavy blanket and scooting over until his shell is pressed against the wall. The cot sinks as a new weight settles in the space he made, and cool air slips beneath the comforter as it’s lifted and resettled; Mikey opens his mouth to complain—he’d been so cozy—but a warm arm makes up for it a second later, wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him forward a few inches, until he’s snug against a plastron, and tucked firmly under a chin.

Well, this is much better. It’s familiar, and reminds him of home in a way not a lot of things do anymore, and he smiles a little bit in the dark. He squirms, fixing the position of a leg and his head on the pillow, then sighs in content.

He isn’t really expecting words to fill the comfortable silence, because sometimes they don’t, but all the same, he isn’t unprepared for it when a rough voice mutters, “I hate space.”

“Nah, space is cool,” Mikey says without missing a beat, because it is. His eyes are closed again, too heavy to keep open, and his voice drifts all sleeplike; but he and his brother are so close there’s no way his words get lost. “We’ve done a boatload of cool stuff. You’ve had fun, too.”

“I hate space,” more vehemently, and the arms around Mikey tighten. “It’s stupid, and full of nothin’ but a hundred more ways for me to hurt you.”

And more ways for you to save me,” Mikey points out reasonably. “You’ve never rescued me from a booby trap in an ancient alien temple before. That’ll look good on your resume.”

“Shut up,” but there’s no bite to it. It wavers a bit, instead, and somehow he clings even tighter. “I really could have—what if there was no oxygen back there, Mikey, what if—”

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Poppin' Tags

Pairing: Jason/Percy

Warnings: who fucking knows Percy’s terrible flirting skills?

Genre: Fluff. Au. songfic??

Description: Jason Grace is a tired cashier at a thrift shop. Percy is an overconfident fucker with a love for Macklemore and hot blondes. Annabeth Chase is a terrible best friend. (it;s a fucking fic inspired by “Thrift Shop” i’m so fucking done blame Sam ( im-horrible-at-usernames ))

read on ao3 (x)

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Forgiveness

Two weeks is a long time to be without our queen. I can see the time taking its toll on Rowan, I can see how much he misses his heart, his wife. His fireheart. It hurts me to know he’s missing her. Kills me to know I didn’t do anything to save her. That I can’t do anything to help in this mission either.

It hurts even more because I’m the reason she’s gone. She wouldn’t let them take me, so she sacrificed herself. She went with Maeve willingly so I wouldn’t be punished, whipped and chained, the way she had once been. The way she was probably being treated right now.

I close my eyes trying to forget that day. It’s a rare night that I don’t wake up without the nightmares. They’re always there, ready and willing. The nightmares that shift between me losing Aelin or worse. Losing myself.

And it’s always Lorcan who holds the knife.

My heart is heavy. Whatever I thought we had started, whatever we thought was changing between us, was done. At least I tried to convince myself it was. How could I possibly feel something for a man who called for the enemy? A man who claims it was to save me, and yet stood in front of our court and promised he did it all for Maeve.

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Sunshine

zilleniose :that first time that bentley has a bad nightmare but asks if alcor can stay till he falls back sleep.

Here’s the first fluff drabble!

Ao3
ff.net

Edit: Now with fanart that makes me cry.


           Alcor—Dipper, really—pulls the nightmare out of Bentley, claws digging into its oily surface. It tries to thrash and resist, but he bends close and lets out a low, soft hiss through the gaps in his teeth, and it goes limp. Dipper is Alcor the Dreambender, though, and this act of playing possum does not fool him. The moment the nightmare is fully out, still as mortal death, he opens his jaws wide and bites down into the flesh, bitter with sharp tangs of fear and crisp hysteria. The nightmare writhes again, understanding too late that it is caught. He chews twice, then sucks the nightmare into strips, flesh slicing and splitting against the edges of his teeth. Panic bursts in his mouth, tingling against his gums and sending a heady, awful rush to his head, and he is reminded with the sudden burst of non-energy that there is a package of sweets waiting for him on Bentley’s desk in exchange for eating the nightmare.

           He is about to float over and retrieve the sweets to wash away the sour taste of Bentley’s distress when his coat sleeve is tugged. He looks down, sees Bentley tired and awake despite his taking care with the nightmare, and whispers, “What’s up?”

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Nothing more than dreams, my love

My contest entry for @angbangmarchmadness. I went off the prompt for ‘nightmares.’


Mairon’s eyes flickered open, his half-asleep gaze roving across the room. Something was amiss. He looked about as best he could from his place in the bed, not wanting to move from the warm embrace of the bed covers and his husband. His senses stretched beyond the bed, and though something had woken him, all seemed fine. He shrugged it off, resigning that all was normal, and settled in to go back to sleep.

He had laid there no more than ten seconds before he heard an almost pained whimper echo around the room. His eyes snapped open as he half-way sat up, turning to look at his husband.

Melkor let out another whine, his face contorted in a grimace. Irmo’s dreams plagued him, and they had only gotten worse recently. Mairon turned and leaned over him, feeling his laboured breathing and erratic heartbeat. Strange things they were, he thought at times. How simple functions of a mortal body are so easily disturbed. He brushed the hair out of Melkor’s face, feeling a slight cold sweat on his brow. Melkor flinched at the touch, not yet waking from his nightmares.

Mairon leaned down, whispering soothing words into his ear , “Shh you’re fine, my dear one,” he whispered whilst rubbing his head, “It’s just a dream. Listen to my voice, I’m right here.”

Melkor unconsciously shifted closer to Mairon, his his mind subliminally comforted by his husband’s voice. Mairon held him close, willing the nightmares to leave his lover alone.

Melkor jerked awake, his hands grasping at Mairon’s body learning over his. His eyes roved wildly about before settling on the Maia’s face, a deep sigh of relief leaving his lips as he relaxed back onto the bed. He gathered Mairon in his arms, burying his face in the bright copper tresses he loved so much, his shaky breath disturbing them every few seconds.

Mairon laid in his arms, waiting for Melkor to pull himself away from his nightmares enough to talk. After a few moments of silence broken only by shaken breaths, Melkor’s grip relaxed enough that Mairon could move enough to see his face. Mairon gazed into his husband’s far off dark eyes, fear still lingering in them. “What is it, my love?” he asked softly, running his fingers through the Vala’s wild, raven hair.

Melkor let out a shuddering breath, his dark, sapphire eyes finally re-focusing on Mairon’s shimmering gold ones. “I.. I saw you..” he stuttered, “Laying on the battlefield… Eonwë standing over you, your hair crimson with blood… I tried to call out to you, but you wouldn’t respond…” he took a shuddering breath and pulled Mairon back down into an embrace, “Don’t leave me, my precious one.”

Mairon wrapped his arms around his husband, feeling the fear and pain coming from him in waves. He levered himself back up to look into Melkor’s eyes, “Dear, these dreams mean nothing. I’m not going anywhere.” He pressed a kiss to Melkor’s forehead, “Go back to sleep, I will stay by your side all night and unto the end of the world.” Mairon kissed him again “Good night, my dearest one.”

Melkor pulled Mairon down into a kiss, “Good night, my precious lover.” He settled back into their bed, Mairon tucked against his side, his nightmares held at bay for a time.


WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M FORESHADOWING MY DAGOR DAGORATH HEADCANONS NOOOOO

Every ones in a while, I still can see

Your blue eyes searching a way to be free

I had the sketch to this idea already at monday but just now came to finish it. The goal was to show Will’s special mind place in the river a bit differently. Still peaceful but more…free spirited? Of course the stag is not far away even there (not sure what I did with the colours though.. do they function or is it just too late in the night already? ._.“)