After Lois got back with the loads last night, things got kind of…warped… When she came back she had some other girl with her. I recognized her from some porn movies Pete had. I don’t remember what her name was…did I even know it? but she left a few minutes ago. Anyway, after I took a second dose, and not enough cocaine to bring me out of my stupor, this girl decided she was going to spend the night with me…who was I to argue?The only problem we had was that my dick didn’t seem to be aware that she was there. She kept asking me what was wrong, and I was so out of it that I thought she meant what was wrong with the world, so I started talking about global poverty and shit. I’m not surprised she left…I suspect she won’t be coming back.
DEFINITELY LAST BUT STILL NOT LEAST Someone asked me why I was writing this book and I said, “Maybe one person will read it and it will help them.” They said, “That’s not very rock ’n’ roll, is it?” I said, “Fuck off” and smirked, because I know it’s the most rock ’n’ roll thing about me–doing what I wanna do in life. I guess Lemmy was right–I am better than that.
This is how low it gets…at 3 this morning I was crouched naked in my closet thinking the world was about to burst through my door. I peered out the closet and saw myself in my mirror. I looked like an Auschwitz victim…a wild animal. I was hunched trying to find a vein so I could inject into my dick. Then the dope went in my dick and I thought I looked fucking fantastic. I can’t keep doing this, but I can’t stop.
NIKKI: I’ll never forget waking up after sleeping almost forty-eight hours and feeling so different. I knew something had happened to me but I wasn’t ready to look into it. What I had experienced was, I believe, something spiritual. Drugs had brought me to my knees and I knew it. Even though it would take a few attempts I was gonna get off drugs. I had been given another chance to live and I was gonna grab life by the back of its neck and shake the hell out of it.I’ve lived my life to the max ever since. Yes I’ve fallen a few times but I always get back up. I always say I wouldn’t have wanted to know that guy back then—and neither would you.