Answer 11 questions, make up 11 other questions, tag some other people, yada yada yada.
1. You are Loki. Having stolen the TARDIS, you decide to use it to humiliate a historical figure. What would you do, and to whom? I would unleash a plague of mice all over the Alps shortly before Hannibal marched over them.
2. Would you rather have an endless supply of cute animals, on the proviso that one dies every day OR the ability to write amazing character fiction but get one pimple for every reader you gain in popularity. I don’t think I’d have the time to look after a cute animal every day, so I’ll have to be a pimply author instead (because I’m already halfway there).
3. Who is the most eccentric person you know, and what do they do that deserves them this distinction? My late Grandpa was the kind of guy who could spend days in his shed making all sorts of things out of wood. He also had some rather infamous verbal tics (“Jolly good!”) and wore humongous glasses, which really only added to the effect.
4. When you were growing up, how much costed a) a creme egg; b) a can of fizzy drink; c) a Freddo bar; d) a Fifth of Bourbon and a pack of Marlboro Lights? Ummm… I can’t say for sure, but I’d guess a) 50p, b) also about 50p, c) 10p, d) I was a very good child, so I have no clue.
5. Set a timer for 3’49”. Post the least photogenic picture of yourself that you can find before the buzzer goes.
I’m five or six years old in this photo. Yes, that is a Thunderbirds jumper.
6. If you could name the first-born child of a celebrity couple, whose child would it be (can be two celebrities who aren’t actually together) and what would you name it? Colin Firth and Felicia Day would get married and have a son called Happy. Happy Firth-Day.
7. You wake up at home, well-rested, on a day with no work or school – in fact, the day holds only a new boxset and a tub of icecream in the fridge with your name on. Describe what you are wearing (pyjamas not permitted). Jeans that probably should have been put in the wash two days ago, a fresh TeeFury shirt and a beige jumper.
8. What would be your ideal fancy dress party theme? Disney. Duh, guys.
9. Would you rather find half a worm in your apple or razor blades in your banana? I think I’d be able to spot razor blades in a banana before I ate it, so I’ll choose that.
10. Choose a fictional location to destroy from space with your Death Ray. Hogwarts.
11. Who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes? The wall-cleaners, to scrub the remains of the revolution posters off the walls.
My (probably less-interesting) questions for the next people:
If you had one week to travel anywhere you like - all expenses paid - where would you go?
Describe the earliest (real life) crush you had.
An evil villain forces you to listen to the same album on repeat inside your head for an entire month. Which album do you choose?
Where are the wild things?
Explain the origin of your most unusual online handle (tumblr URL, twitter username etc).
Thunderstorms: scary or awesome?
You have the ability to ban one brand of drink (alcoholic or otherwise) from stores. Which do you choose?
Quality Street, Celebrations or Heroes? (sorry, non-UK people)
Which did you prefer: How To Train Your Dragon or Brave? And why?
I’m currently writing a Disney crossover novel. Which character(s) would you want me to put in it over all others?
How many Easter-themed confectionery items did you get this year? (self-bought counts)