will you miss me when i burn

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🌹 be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you’ll never, ever get it out.
🌹 remember that you were art long before he came to admire you, and you’ll continue to be art even when he’s gone.
🌹 he isn’t your drug. people aren’t supposed to be drugs. drugs make you feel good; he’s more like poison. he just burns and aches, but you’re tricking into taking him in again and again.
🌹 you fell in love with my flowers but not with my roots, so when autumn arrived you didn’t know what to do.
🌹 i can turn you into poetry, but I can not make you love me
🌹 if you never break, you’ll never know how to put yourself back together. 
🌹 i don’t miss you anymore but sometimes I add a little too much milk to my coffee and I have to sit down because the colour is identical to your eyes.
🌹 i just became depressed. It’s as if one night, I forgot to shut a window and all the cold came in.
🌹 come home and take me in your arms and take away this stomach ache, headache, heartache. 
🌹 you are not crazy, you’re just lonely, and loneliness is a hell of a drug.

The Signs as Astoria Lyrics

Aries - I miss the way that you saw me or maybe the way I saw myself // Who Do You Love

Taurus - I’m here to remind you what’s lost is never gone // Forget Me Not

Gemini - I hate to admit it but I miss the war // This Means War

Cancer - I’m so afraid of trying something new, ‘cause every start begins with saying goodbye to you // End of an Era

Leo - Don’t say I don’t still make you blush // Burning Up

Virgo - Don’t remind me what the price is when left to my own devices // Astoria

Libra - You get me every time, but I live with that // One Love

Scorpio - Now you want me, but what if your heart’s a liar // Wildfire

Sagittarius - Why does it hurt to try when the last goodbye is never what we’re here for // While We’re Young

Capricorn - By tomorrow this will be yesterday // Yesterday

Aquarius - You can say you’re kind of bored with this, ut if you’re young, it’s new, I guess // Shut Up and Kiss Me

Pisces - At least tonight we still pretend, hold each other close like it’s not the end // Dearly Departed

“What was directly behind you when you were murdered?”

“The bullet itself is blocking most of the blood flow. Any pressure or impact on the entrance wound could dislodge it. You need to fall on your back. That way gravity is working for us.”

“She was dying. The bride. So she made her death count.”

“You were my whole world.”

“Just tell him. Tell him. It’s all over now. Tell him.” 

“I’m the Storyteller. It’s on DVD.”

“I’ll burn you. I’ll burn the heart out of you.” 

“John said he’d have anyone but you.”

“Anyone.”

Oh my god I don’t care about him at all, not even a little bit.


His eyes are the wrong colour and he doesn’t taste like you, his hands on my hips make me nauseous, his breath on my neck just stings, his mouth doesn’t fit on mine properly and when he looks into my eyes I don’t want to look back into his

Oh my god I don’t care about him at all

But he’s here, and you’re not

He’s always here, and you never are

—  come back ~ blue-delusion
the signs as Arrested Development quotes
  • Aries: You must teach me. You must teach me the ways of the secular flesh.
  • Taurus: Marry me!
  • Gemini: She calls it a "mayonegg".
  • Cancer: I've made a huge mistake.
  • Leo: We have unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook!
  • Virgo: Oh, my God! We're having a fire... sale. Oh, the burning! It burns me! Evacuate all the school children! ♪ Amaaa—... This isn't a fever! ♪ ziiing grace... I can't even see where the knob is! End scene.
  • Libra: I was made to understand there were grilled cheese sandwiches here.
  • Scorpio: I don't know what I expected.
  • Sagittarius: I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it.
  • Capricorn: Get me a vodka rocks. And a piece of toast.
  • Aquarius: I suppose I'm, uh, buy-curious.
  • Pisces: It's a great day... for being sad.
sentence starters from random songs on my playlist

part 2

  • “Hey darling, I hope you’re good tonight.”
  • “I just feel complete when you’re by my side.”
  • “Stop fucking around with my emotions.”
  • “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
  • “I know you think that I’m someone you can trust.”
  • “I’m having visions of the way it will end.”
  • “We were meant to hurt each other.”
  • “It hurts a little at first but it gets better in time.”
  • “I’d burn the world for you and I.”
  • “Sometimes fear can leave you blind.”
  • “Fuck love, fuck you”
  • “You blame me but it’s not fair when you say that I didn’t try.”
  • “I just don’t care about you anymore.”
  • “You’re never gonna love me so what’s the use”
  • “I’m missing you like shit today.”
  • “I haven’t seen you smile this whole time, it bums me out and makes me wonder why I can’t do right.”
  • “I’m trying my best, I promise.”
  • “What we had doesn’t matter and I don’t want work it out.”
  • “I hope this makes you sad.”
  • “You tossed us into the gutter.”
  • “It’s such a shame that we play strangers.”
  • “Your hands still catch the light the right way.“
  • “I can’t think clearly cause your beauty is killin’ me.”
  • “I don’t mind if you’re overrated or if you’re staring at the edge of the world.”
  • “Oh, God, I think I just ruined my life.”
  • “The optimist in me swore we could make this last, but no.”
  • “You ruined my favorite records, I listen to them and I think of you.”
  • “We still talk like everyday but we don’t talk in the same way that we used to.”

this is the last poem I’ll ever write for you
and maybe it should be nice and
soft and
not angry
not when I have no right to be.

except maybe I do have a right to be mad
maybe I am allowed to feel torn up about this
it’s not like I actually loved you but I got close enough to get hurt when you left and
you’re probably too busy thinking of your hands on her body to think about us and
the way you said my name when you moaned and
sorry was that a secret c'mon what does it matter now
this house has burned down you don’t read my poems you don’t miss me we haven’t talked in a week
there was no sirens no warning there was just me
drunk as fuck
and you
deciding you’ve had enough.

—  read at: 6:43 p.m. –lily rain
I don’t hate you,” she whispered. “I can’t hate you. I wish I did. I wish I could scream and punch walls and burn everything with you in it because I hate you so much. But I don’t. And that’s the worst part. I love you. God, do I love you, even now, even when you walked away and shattered me like glass. And it’s ripping me apart.

I want you when I feel like the world is against me.
I want you when I’m the happiest.
I want you when I wake up. When I go to sleep.
I want you when it’s raining.
I want you when the sun is burning my skin.
I want you when the leaves start to fall. And when the flowers start to grow.
I want you today and tomorrow and everyday after that.

You liked me with my hair long so I cut it off and
there’s no regret there.
im getting rid of everything that reminds me of you, everything you liked about me, im burning all the poems I had written for you all the letters I wrote all the words you didn’t deserve.
even if we ever found what we had again you wouldn’t recognize me you wouldn’t think I was the same person i told you I wanted to kill myself and I fucking did and now I’m someone who doesn’t miss you at all
even when it’s nighttime and the house is empty.

old me held on for three years.
new me doesn’t know your name.

—  HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE ONE LEFT BEHIND– lily rain
candles for ribs & a pretty velvet mouth to swallow your pagan pennies. laughter sounding like a preacher heated with damnation. like the virgin crawled out of her pedestal to eavesdrop on the confessions. where in the Bible can I find God’s apology letter? it’s a selfish thing to ask of a Lord who pinned Himself to the cross for me. but if someone’s got to die, shouldn’t we both hurt? I walk past His oil lamp, past the lost sheep, and into the wilderness looking for Jacob’s ladder. like God, this disease is modern day possession. God, I’m drinking your blood to forget what abuse means. does that make me some kind of holy lunatic? I’ve got a burn on my hip that says Jezebel might have gone down on me, might have made me feel something, but God it’s you I’m looking for. it’s you I’m creating this hemorrhage for. it’s possible I missed You when I crossed the road, it’s possible You never came for me. it’s possible I’m a hollow pit for slumbering lions. hear me O Lord: I’ve got a face often bruised with joy. what’s a girl like me to a God like you?
—  COULD LOVING MYSELF BE ENOUGH TO REACH GOD? // Patricia Camille Antony
If I talk to you
My mouth will fill with honey and I will cry
“I miss you
Do you miss me?”
That is why we cannot speak
When you lit me on fire and ran for cover
I did not burn in the way you wanted
You are not water
You are not my shelter
You are not my companion
And we cannot be friends
Because my memories of you have crystallised
And they shine and catch my eye
Reminding me of something precious
That was never there
So when you ask me if
Instead of having all of me
You can take the parts that
Are easiest to put in your pocket
And leave the messiness behind
I want to spit your taste out of my mouth
I did not miss you
I mourned you
We cannot be friends
We cannot speak
Because you died many months ago
Your shape in my mind
changed from my home
To a mausoleum
—  Ghosts will not keep we warm
marianas trench ‘astoria’ lyrics meme
  • ‘ don’t wanna know my darkest lows? ‘
  • ‘ don’t remind me what the price is when left to my own devices. ‘
  • ‘ what’s another bridge burned? ‘
  • ‘ this would be the wrong move. ‘
  • ‘ hey, ever just say fuck it? ‘
  • ‘ maybe i’ll drink this all away in buckets. ‘
  • ‘ is it bad enough to call it off? ‘
  • ‘ one minute you need me & the next we’re stuck. ‘
  • ‘ i can’t help but want you too. ‘
  • ‘ don’t say you don’t miss me that much. ‘
  • ‘ don’t say i don’t still make you blush. ‘  
  • ‘ you got me freaking out. ‘
  • ‘ i guess we’re even now. ‘
  • ‘ baby why you leaving now? ‘
  • ‘ don’t you want to kiss me someday too? ‘
  • ‘ tomorrow is a day away. ‘
  • ‘ so yeah my timing sucks. ‘
  • ‘ i’m just so good at fucking up. ‘
  • ‘ what if the one true love’s the only one that you get? ‘
  • ‘ i’ve been broken but i’m better every day. ‘
  • ‘ you get me every time. but i live with that. ‘
  • ‘ i might do this to myself. ‘
  • ‘ only made it worse but i just can’t help. ‘
  • ‘ it’s the only time that i see your face. ‘
  • ‘ what if there was still a way of taking care of this? ‘
  • ‘ what if i wake up tonight & you are real? ‘
  • ‘ what if we could find a way to try to heal? ‘
  • ‘ what if there’s no stoppin’ us yet? ‘
  • ‘ what if there was still a reason not to go? ‘
  • ‘ what if there was still a little bit of hope? ‘
  • ‘ impolite would only be beneath us. ‘
  • ‘ fill me in on how you’ve been. ‘
  • ‘ but that’s not what i came for, my amour. ‘
  • ‘ i just wished you opened fire on me, so i can see you still worry if i care. ‘  
  • ‘ you should come over. ‘
  • ‘ best laid plans are not sober. ‘
  • ‘ then we’ll disappear. ‘
  • ‘ bring wine to bed. ‘
  • ‘ we’ll toast what could have been. ‘
  • ‘ i don’t know how to mend it, but this chapter ended. ‘
  • ‘ but at least tonight we still pretend. ‘
  • ‘ hold each other close like it’s not the end. ‘
  • ‘ you will be my home & there’s no place like home. ‘
  • ‘ you can say you’re kind of bored with this. ‘  
  • ‘ but i don’t want you leaving me now. ‘
  • ‘ well you say i’m a mess. ‘  
  • ‘ you say you’ll never date me. ‘
  • ‘ or you can just shut up. ‘
  • ‘ shut up & kiss me. ‘
  • ‘ you should stay away from me. ‘
  • ‘ you could tell me no, & you can let me go. ‘
  • ‘ just can’t get away from myself. ‘
  • ‘ i’ll miss the way that you saw me. ‘
  • ‘ but, i came back to you broken. ‘
  • ‘ i hear the words i’ve spoken & everything comes out wrong. ‘
  • ‘ i’ll get my shit back together. ‘
  • ‘ everything goes quiet, it’s like i just can’t move. ‘
  • ‘ nothing will change if you never choose. ‘
  • ‘ i know where you’ve been. ‘
  • ‘ you say that you’re lost & need to find yourself. ‘
  • ‘ can’t do that with me, but with somebody else. ‘
  • ‘ when did we both get so afraid to speak though? ‘
  • ‘ i thought we got each other’s hearts? ‘
  • ‘ you know i thought this love would always burn like a wildfire. ‘
  • ‘ so now you show up when you’re alone again? ‘
  • ‘ but what if you’re just afraid to be alone? ‘  
  • ‘ i thought you got yourself a way out? ‘
  • ‘ now you want me? ‘
  • ‘ but what if your heart’s a liar? ‘
  • ‘ we just can’t let this go. ‘
  • ‘ maybe this time it could work? ‘
  • ‘ i was there watching you, watching me, missing you. ‘
  • ‘ i’ve been lying & i don’t know why i do. 
  • ‘ maybe the truth hurts so it’s easier not to know. ‘
  • ‘ i wanna hear how your heart speaks. ‘  
  • ‘ this should be the time of our lives. ‘  
  • ‘ i’ve been so lost without you. ‘
  • ‘ are you lost without me too? ‘
  • ‘ we both want it but love is not enough. ‘
  • ‘ you slipped away to a mile from an inch. ‘
  • ‘ i don’t know how we ended up here now. ‘
  • ‘ what’s lost is never gone. ‘
  • ‘ i’m not ready for what’s to come. ‘
  • ‘ i will watch you sleeping & make sure you’re alright. ‘
  • ‘ i know you’re not quite here but you’re not quite gone. ‘
  • ‘ life’s too short. ‘
  • ‘ can’t love if you don’t. ‘
  • ‘ i can’t try if you won’t. ‘
  • ‘ please just let me go. ‘
  • ‘ it’s do or die for you & i. ‘ 
  • ‘ i’ll never be taken alive. ‘
  • ‘ but our future still remains unclear. ‘  
  • ‘ i’m so afraid of trying something new. ‘
  • ‘ cause every start begins with saying goodbye to you. ‘
  • ‘ our heart divides in unrequited view. ‘
  • ‘ i feel so ashamed. ‘
  • ‘ wish this was easy. ‘
  • ‘ i want you to know this never was the man i hoped to be. ‘
  • ‘ i’m in over my head. ‘
  • ‘ i hope your heart can still be mended. ‘
Every second that ticks by feels like time is taunting me.
I wonder if you’re watching the clock too, awaiting the next moment your hands reacquaint themselves with my skin.
I have gone far beyond ‘I miss you,’ and far beyond 'I want you.’
This is need, this is craving, this is losing myself in dreams just so I can hold you.
I still get butterflies in my stomach when I hear your voice the same way I did the first time our lips touched.
I don’t know if you paid attention to how hard my heart was beating, but if you did, then you know exactly how bad I have it.
And nights like these are the worst, when I wish to feel your heartbeat, only to be greeted by the pillow your head should be resting on.
The only thing that keeps me going is the idea that someday these miles won’t be so problematic anymore. 
We’ll repeat this shattering cycle as many times as we need, coming together and breaking with every pair of flights until one day, one of us will fly in to see the other and have no need to go back out.
In time, this distance will be nothing but a memory.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, Request: Write about a long distance relationship
2

Name: Not again
Comment: Mycroft to pick his daughter up when she tried to burn the school lab.

“Miss Holmes?” the teacher calls you. “Your father is here.”

“Thank you,” you articulate, leaving the classroom and facing your father, staring at you. “Hi.”

“Y/N,” he rests his hand on your shoulder, as you walk down the stairs and leave the building. “Did you set the lab on fire?”

“The teacher I can’t,” you murmur, and he lets a small smile out. “And uncle Sherlock taught me how to make fire with those ingredients.”

“Well… Did uncle Sherlock say that you could get hurt?”

“I knew how much to use to stay safe,” you state bravely, feeling how the grip on your shoulder softens. “And it was fun.”

“I am sure it was. Y/N, it is not a good idea to set a school on fire. And you know how it always upsets mummy,” you lower your head. Your mother is much softer than your father, but never feels good about the ‘fun’ things you do with your uncle.

“Maybe… we could just not tell her?”

“And why so?”

“Because if you tell her, she will say that it’s uncle Sherlock’s influence, so you will have to call him and say that you don’t want us talking. And Sherlock will yell at you. And I will cry,” Mycroft grins sincerely.

“That’s my girl,” he whispers, so you can hardly hear him. “Are you coming with me to the office or should I drive you to my brother’s?”

“I would prefer spending time with uncle Sherlock,” you smile. “He said we’ll try setting different foods on fire, then put them in acid.”

“Sounds exciting. You did go after your uncle, didn’t you?” you shine a smile at Mycroft and lean forward to hug him. Despite being his blood and flesh, you are much more human and emotional, which often makes Mycroft act more sincere and human-like next to you. John, who’s the only not Holmes to meet you, has noticed multiple time that next to you Mycroft looks like a complete human, kind and compassionate.

“I love you, daddy,” you whisper in his ear.

“I… I love you, too,” he answers quite honestly and adds. “I am proud of you.”

ain’t it funny to realise a 19 year old wrote these lyrics all by herself:

  • “you made a rebel of a careless man’s careful daughter”
  • “meet me in the pouring rain, kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain”
  • “it turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you" 
  • “horrified looks from everyone in the room, but i’m only looking at you”
  • “you paint me a blue sky, and go back and turn it to rain”
  • “you, with your switching sides and your wildfire lies and your humiliation”
  • “but you held your pride like you should’ve held me”
  • “no one’s ever burned you, nothing’s ever left you scarred" 
  • “walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face”
  • “but sophistication isn’t what you wear or who you know”
  • “time turns flames to embers, you’ll have new Septembers”
  • “and its coming over you like its all a big mistake”
  • “you can plan for a change in weather and time, but I never planned on you changing your mind”
  • “hold onto spinning around, confetti falls to the ground, may these memories break our fall”
  • “don’t you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine”
  • “i know people change and these things happen, but i remember how it was back then”
  • “he’s got his mother’s eyes, his father’s ambition, I wonder if he knows how much that I miss him”

when you think about all of the burned episodes of Doctor Who that may never get recovered and all of the wonderful acting that’s probably lost forever

I wish I could go back to that night in Montana, we were hundreds of miles away from home. I will never forget how dark that night was, I’ve never seen anything like it, not being able to see one foot in front of the other, and that’s when I held your hand to help you walk back, and the inferno ignited inside of me, were we friends? Lovers? A bit of both I think, it’s always on my mind, it’s been years since we’ve talked, and I really wish I could talk to you again because I miss you quite terribly. You were the strangest, weirdest, greatest thing that’s happened to me, but like all fires they die, but my embers still burn for you.
—  An old spark