will they all tear my heart out too

Breaks (IC side)

[Notes: WOOO! All aboard the FEELS TRAIN! It looks like the challenge was to write a piece that could pull tears out of us. The most heartbreaking scene playing on my headcanon cauldron for those two is this one. So yep, expect some angst in here, even when I don’t know how to Ignis.

Another note! Omg, I never explained a few details that appeared in here before. I need to clarify: The marks on Carmen’s skin! She is not being physically abused by anybody! This is set after all the ruckus in Altissia, and the culprit behind them is another character she fought. She’s still feeling the effects of it. Also, in the tags is another clue!]


Tagging: @momokitty27, @princess-of-lucis, @mandakatt, @kayterschmater, @fieryfantasy, @nemo-ne-impune-lacessit​ (If you wish to be tagged -or not-, let us know, please.)

Disclaimer: Carmen Mirabile is Bloss’ OC and Ignis Scientia belongs to Square Enix.

. - . - . - . - .

One new day. The sun still shone bright in the Altissian’s skies, casting its rays over destroyed buildings, debris and the now calm waters. Rays that seemed to burn more intensely but not enough to warm the numb hearts that still grieved, hearts inside battered bodies that kept pushing forward while their King was still unconscious.

As the rage of Leviathan ceased, it seemed like the violent waters that rose with her awakening had managed to drive the group apart. Tight bonds becoming painfully loose, battle injuries and unknown ailments complicating things even more.

As per usual, Carmen urged herself to move out of bed, willing the sudden vertigo and the now familiar weakness away in favor of getting ready to help him. Hands still touched the tender marks swirling on her neck, testing the soreness of the new spots that tinted the corners of her eyes. The mirror had become her practice friend every morning, when no sound bubbled out of her mouth still. Hope was already wavering at that point, but she kept trying. As every visit to the bathroom early in the morning met an equally or even saddening outcome as every time she tried to reach for the love of her life, she was pushed away. No touches could soothe the shaken man, there were not words to call his name or whisper reassurance, no amount of magic spells could reach his burnt skin as his hands continued to slap hers away every single time.

Loneliness grew as she stepped back, heartache increased as she clenched her hands in fists and dissapeared out of the room. Tears fell like round pearls as she curled on herself in the solitary corners of a shattered Altissia. Breaking apart so fast, she was beginning to resign to the fact that being alone once more was her unavoidable destiny.

The youngest man of the group has helped her lift her spirits. With the renewed courage and despite the already predictable outcome, she kept trying.

Allow me to try… Allow me to use this cursed blessing to help you!

- Cease with that nonsense at once! Childish hopes will get us nowhere!

Never had she stood in the receiving end of Ignis Scientia’s harsh words. Maybe a dagger delivered straight to her chest would’ve hurt less. With a shaking visage and mouth hung open she tried to reply. Futile. A hand never met his shoulder as he moved away. Recoiling as if burnt, Carmen’ eyes drank on the sight of his tight expression and she felt herself beggining to crack harder inside.

I do not know how to help you! Please, I am doing all I can!

- You’re wasting your time…

Her eyes opened as wide as possible, looking at him like she didn’t know him anymore. Hands curling over her chest in a failed attempt to content the sharp noises of her shattering heart as he spoke. Each sentence burning a memory, each sentence widening the ditch that have grown between them.

We are entertaining vain hopes… A broken man shall no hold you prisoner for much longer, as maybe with a whole man you’ll find the happiness you deserve…

Words spoke with finality on a voice that had lost all confidence but remained heavy. Carmen looked at him, the tears distorting the dark shapes that were him as her arms dropped at each side. Numb, frozen… alone.

- Leave me alone.

Time stopped and for a long while neither moved. Then, with hung head and silent steps, she went away. There were no pieces to hold up any longer.

. - . - . - . - .

For days when the enemy is trying to slither his way in, remember to continue:

- praying (Don’t ever stop talking to God, love. Tell Him everything. And if you’re feeling empty and like you have no words, know that it’s okay to sit in silence with Him and know that it’s okay to repeat Help me over and over and over.)

- praising Him (Put on some Praise & Worship music and sing through the tears because God is still good in the storm.)

- reading/studying His Word (Open your Bible, open your Bible, open your Bible. You want to hear God’s voice? Open your Bible. Open your heart. Read your Bible. Study your Bible. God is going to give you exactly what you need. You know this from experience.)

- leaning on others (You cannot, cannot carry all of this on your own. Reach out. Talk to someone. Hug someone. Love someone.)

house pairings + love songs

gryffindor + gryffindor: tear in my heart - twenty one pilots
  “ the songs on the radio are ok; but my taste in music is your face! ”

gryffindor + hufflepuff: thinking out loud - ed sheeran
  “ take me into your loving arms; kiss me under the light of a thousand stars. “

gryffindor + ravenclaw: just you and me - zee avi
 “ we can do it all together. ”

gryffindor + slytherin: howl - florence and the machine
“ until i wrap myself inside your arms i cannot rest. “

hufflepuff + hufflepuff: i’ll cover you from rent
   “ i’ve longed to discover something as true as this is. “

hufflepuff + ravenclaw: quiet - lights
“ i’m the one, there’s not too many. hold my hand to keep me steady. “

hufflepuff + slytherin: human - dodie clark ft. jon cozart
  “ i want to give you your grin, so tell me you can’t bear a room that i’m not in. “

ravenclaw + ravenclaw: crayola doesn’t make a color for your eyes
  “ there is no way i could possibly describe you. “

ravenclaw + slytherin: a girl, a boy, and a graveyard - j. messersmith
  “ life’s a game we’re meant to lose; but stick by me and i will stick by you. “

slytherin + slytherin: wolves without teeth - of monsters and men
“ it’s perfectly strange, you run in my veins. “



in this photoset you can see just a fracture of all astro did in their first year as a group. things these six boys accomplished in a year is stunning. they managed to create their own fresh sound, participate in various events, become faces of brands, participate in a number of variety programs while simultaneously working to put out new music every 3-4 months. thank you for your hard work, astro. thank you fantagio for molding these six bright boys into a group and a family. thank you astro for all the happiness you made us feel over the past year. thank you for the heart-warming music you put out. thank you for making every concept about your fans. thank you for loving us unconditionally. thank you for being born. i love you more than i could express.

let’s go together forever!!

My Immortal - Loki x Reader

Title: My Immortal

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 2,838

Warnings: Very subtle spoilers for Thor: Dark World and Civil War

Summary: He is a god and he is a master in lies. Death for him can’t be this easy. But you never thought he’d lie to you about something like this, something so important that actually broke you. You return home to find a “gift” waiting for you from Odin himself and it is finally time to have a talk with it… while living the rest of your life with it on Earth.

A/N: Not betad, I apologize for any mistakes!

“Tony, please.” you said with a half-whine and half-giggle as you unlocked your apartment door.

“Come on, come on just one more!” the man at the other end said with a chuckle and you had to stifle a giggle once more.

“Tony!” you whined again, walking in the almost pitch black apartment “My stomach can’t take it anymore. What’s up with you and jokes, are you that bored in the meeting? And how the heck does nobody else tell you to shut up?”

You complained about it but truth was you needed the pick up and hearing your friend laugh, this much at that, after everything that had happened and sound like his old self again was really more than you could ask for. None of you were the same anymore, and maybe you had to endure twice the pain after what had happened in the dark world as well.

Keep reading

Too Much


Requested: no A/N: I’m in Norway so this is a planned post. p>

Word count: 2,239

Originally posted by smendesgifs

My back was resting against the soft, white pillow. I pulled the covers higher, covering my entire body. I felt cold, but it had nothing to do with the temperature in the bedroom, it was all about the enormous fight Shawn and I had earlier. Fighting with him always made me feel so cold, so tired and completely drained from any sort of energy. I was reading a book or at least trying to, but I hardly managed to read a single page.

Honestly, I just needed something to distract me from the fact that Shawn had left the apartment in anger and I hadn’t heard from him since.

Keep reading

Bruised (Nolan Holloway)

Sequel to Broken

Broken: https://radwriting.tumblr.com/post/165244775102/broken-nolan-Holloway 

Originally posted by theoraekendeserveslove

Inspired by this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liuDx0z20YQ I highly recommend listening while reading


 I opened the door, Nolan standing on the other side, just about to knock.

“Nolan.” I gasped.

It wasn’t the sight of Nolan that made me gasp. It was what he was holding in his hand. A gun.

“Nolan what are you doing?” I questioned looking at him and then back at the gun in his hand.

I could feel the hair on the back of my neck rise.

“she wants me to kill you, they tell me you’re the most dangerous next to Scott.” Nolan said pacing in the doorway.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the gun in his hand.

“Nolan please put the gun down.” I said raising my hands in surrender.

Nolan wouldn’t actually hurt me would he?

“why should I? You lied to me! You’ve been lying to me all along! You had me so fooled for the longest time, but not anymore. I trusted you, I told you everything and you were just faking it all along.” Nolan said raising the gun a little.

He had tears falling down his cheeks now too. I hurt him badly, and I couldn’t take it back.

“Nolan please don’t do this, I’m sorry I hurt you I never meant too. Nolan I lied about what I am but I didn’t fake anything. All of our late night talks, the nights we drove to the cliff and just lay there stargazing, all the times we talked about  our future, that was all real.” I said slowly lowering my hands and taking a step towards him.

He raised the gun fully now aimed at my face. He moved his finger to the trigger. I stopped dead in my tracks. 

“Nolan.” I said my voice cracking.  

“they told me you’d try to plead your case to me.” He spat.

I realized Nolan wasn’t going to put the gun down. I slowly reached my hands down to my belt which again was really my katana. Nolan saw what I was doing and roughly grabbed my arm.

“they told me you’d try that too.” He said glaring at me.

He ripped the belt out of my hands tossing it to the floor. 

“Nolan you really want to kill me?” I asked my voice shaking as sobs racked my small frame. 

He stared at me for a long couple of seconds.

“they want me too.” He repeated again even more tears falling down his cheeks.

“well what do you want? If you want to kill me go ahead and do it. I’m not going to stop you.” I told him.

Nolan looked at the floor slowly lowering the gun. He dropped it on the floor looking defeated.

“you couldn’t do it Nolan because this isn’t who you are." I said looking at him  but he wasn’t paying attention.

His eyes were focused on something on the floor. I looked down to see the note I had dropped when he grabbed my arm. It had his name on the front.

“you can read that if you want.” I said still not moving.

Nolan ran a hand over his face before bending down and picking up the letter. Nolan looked at the letter and then up at me. He took the paper ripping it up. In that moment he ripped up my heart too. I couldn’t stop the tears streaming down my face as he ripped up the paper. He didn’t even bother to open it.

“It doesn’t matter what it says, everything has changed.” He said looking at me.

I dropped down trying to collect all the pieces of the note and my heart.  

“It said I love you.” I whispered before looking up at Nolan’s shocked expression.

I never admitted it out loud until now. He took a few steps back stumbling to my door way.

“You don’t mean that you’re just trying to trick me again.” He said tears falling freely.

I got off the floor walking to stand in front of him.

"Nolan I’m so in love with you it hurts.” I said tears still in my eyes.  

Nolan looked at my eyes and then down to my lips. The next thing I knew Nolan’s lips were on mine. He backed me up so he was pressing me to the wall with his body. He had his hands cupping my cheeks as he deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around his neck pushing myself closer to him. This was everything I had ever wanted. He pulled away resting his forehead on mine. I could feel the rhythmic beats of my heart speed up from what just occurred. I was even more in love with him now.

 "show me.“ He said looking in my eyes.

“Nolan please don’t do this.” I said still out of breathe.

“show me please, I want to see the real you.” He repeated.

I thought about it not knowing If I should. I finally agreed too nodding my head.

“stand back.” I said pushing him back a little bit.

I took a deep breath letting the fox inside of me come out.

Originally posted by headlesssamurai

Nolan took a couple more steps backwards, looking at me with wide eyes. I took a step towards him but he quickly stepped back. He was afraid of me. I willed the fox to disappear so now I was back to me.

“Nolan.” I said taking another step forward but he stepped back again.

“I knew it.” He breathed before running out the door.

I should’ve called or ran after him but what was the point. Maybe I was the monster that everyone thinks I am. Nolan certainly thought so. I sat on the floor allowing myself to be consumed in my thoughts. I knew that loving Nolan was suicide but I couldn’t stop myself. I don’t know how long I’d sat there until I heard a knocking at my door. I quickly got up thinking it could Nolan that maybe he changed his mind. I opened the door but it wasn’t Nolan standing on the other side, it was Liam.

“Liam.” I said stepping aside so he could come in.

His eyes darted to the ground where Nolan left the gun lay.

“y/n what happened?” He asked looking at me. 

I didn’t answer right away.

“y/n answer me. Did they hurt you?” He asked rubbing my back.

"No I’m fine.” I said finally looking at Liam.

“Well Scott needs us at the police station. We met a new werewolf who said she was shot by a deputy and they just picked up two other werewolves, we have to get them out before the deputy kills them.” Liam explained.

I looked back down to the note on the floor. I couldn’t leave everything behind now. I didn’t realize until now how incredibly selfish that was. The pack needed me. Innocent supernatural creatures needed me. If loving Nolan was suicide I wasn’t going to go down without a fight. I picked up my belt clicking it back in place before nodding at Liam. He gave me a smile before we ran to Mason’s car. We drove to the police station in silence, until Liam spoke up.

“I probably should mention Theo’s back too.” Liam said shyly looking over at me.

I didn’t have a problem with Theo, he however really didn’t like me. I did send him to hell after all.

“It’s a good thing I have this then.” I said gesturing to my belt.

“we’re here.” Mason said parking the car.

 I went to get out but Liam stopped me.

“I uh never got to say thank you for today at school.” Liam said giving me a smile.

“we have to watch each others backs remember.” I said referring to what Scott told us to do.

“yeah you’re right.” He said walking with me in to the police station.

We met Scott, Lydia, and the new werewolf Quinn. I gave her a small smile showing her I was on her side.

“please Sheriff.” Scott says pleading for Stilinski to let the two wolves go.

“Scott they’re being charged with murder, they aren’t going anywhere. There are still laws and they broke the law .” Stilinski said looking at all of us.

“but it isn’t safe.” I said looking at him.

“right now, I think this may be the only safe spot left in town.” Stilinski said.

“what would Stiles say if he were here? You know he wouldn’t agree to this.” Lydia said.

“yeah plus it was a deputy that shot Quinn anyways.” Malia added.

Sheriff Stilinski looked at us in disbelief.

“A deputy? You sure? I know all these deputies and trust them , I’m pretty sure if one of them was a werewolf hunter, I’d know.” He said.

“this supernatural thing that causes fear, it’s changing people, you’d be surprised what people do when their afraid.” I said.

It was true, just an hour ago the boy I loved was pointing a gun at my face. I don’t think Nolan would ever want to hurt anyone I think he’s just afraid.

“you can’t protect them from the hunters if they’re already inside.” Scott says trying one last time to plead with Noah to let them go.

Quinn told him what happened with the deputy but he still didn’t believe us. Lydia snapped at him and Malia laughed at something that was definitely not supposed to be joke.

“look guys I..” Noah started but suddenly we were blinded by a lot of bright lights.

I brought my arm up to shield my eyes. The deputies raise their guns as Stilinski looks outside.

“what is it?” Scott asks walking over to the window.

We all walk over seeing Monroe standing outside with about a dozen well armed hunters. I looked at each of the hunters. My eyes instantly connected with Gabe’s. I was looking for Nolan and was relieved when I didn’t see him.

“deputies put your guns down and get away from the windows.” Noah says disarming himself.

“Sheriff.” Scott said putting an arm out to stop him but he walked outside anyways. 

“Scott what are we going to do?” Liam asked looking at Scott.

I could tell this was going to end one of two ways and I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the peaceful option. Someone was dying here tonight it was just a matter of them or us. Suddenly Malia started to panic.

“we have to get out of here.” She said pacing the room.

“we have to give Stilinski a chance to negotiate.” Scott said trying to stop her pacing.

“how are we going to get Jiang and Tierney out?” Liam asked.

“Screw them.” Malia snapped making Liam stumble backwards.

“Mal, calm down.” I said putting my hand on my belt just in case.

Everyone’s heads snapped up when we heard the familiar voice of Theo Raeken as he entered the room.

“should I kill him?” Liam growled taking a step towards Theo.

“leave him, we have to get the hell out of here!” Malia pleaded with Scott.

Something was wrong. This wasn’t her, it was the fear.

“Don’t you get it we’re trapped! They have all the doors and windows covered, we’re going to die in here!” Quinn says shedding a few tears.

“way to be positive Quinn.” I mumbled.

“can I kill her?” Theo asked looking over to Quinn.

“SHUT UP!” Malia growled approaching Theo.

I quickly un-did my belt snapping my sword in place. Theo looked at me confused to which I just shrugged in response. Scott grabs Malia before she does something stupid. He knows she wouldn’t stand a chance against me. I put my sword away not looking for a fight either.

“there’s only about a dozen of them out there, we could take them, especially with y/n blocking their bullets.” Lydia pointed out still gazing out the window.

“but what about Jiang and Tierney you know the whole point of us being here!” Liam said to Scott.

“we’re getting out of here, all of us.” Scott said nodding at all of us.

Liam goes to get Jiang and Tierney as we prepare to go outside. I snap my katana in to place preparing for a fight. We were just about to bust through the door when Stilinski comes back in.

“what are you guys doing?” He asked looking at us.

“we can take them.” Lydia snapped.

“we’re not fighting. Get back from the windows and Parrish put them back in their cells.” He said pushing us away from the door.

Parrish took Jiang and Tierney back to their cells.

“She’s giving us until midnight to hand them over dead or alive.” Noah said looking at us.

“So let’s prepare for an invasion then.” I said jamming my sword in the door so it would be almost impossible to open.

The others took my advice and started moving desks and filing cabinets to block the windows and doors. I removed my sword and replaced it with the leg of a chair in case I needed it. As Liam and I are moving a desk the power goes out. There was only a dim light coming from the cars outside.

“what the hell?” I questioned looking at the others.

Suddenly a deputy comes in dragging a struggling Nolan. I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes but I fought them.

“I found who cut our power.” She said holding up a pair of bolt cutters.

“Nolan.” I said glaring at him.

He couldn’t look at me though. Liam let out a growl, taking a step towards Nolan. I quickly put my arm out to stop him.

“please don’t make me go back out there y/n, she’ll know I screwed up and she’ll kill me.” He pleaded finally looking at me.

“why should we! You’re a liar Nolan and you’re sick in the head, I say we throw him out.” Liam growls.

I felt the tears I was holding back fall from my eyes. Scott must have saw.

“No, we aren’t throwing him back outside.” Scott said to Liam.

“Parrish lock him up.” Stilinski said looking at Parrish.

Parrish walked over grabbing Nolan. I couldn’t look. I loved him and it was going to get me killed. As soon as Nolan was out of sight I ran to the bathroom breaking down. The reality was now it was him against me. There was no friendship. No love. It was war. Malia walked in wrapping her arms around me. This meant a lot coming from her considering she wasn’t an affectionate person.

“Forget him, if he can’t see who you really are, then he doesn’t deserve you anyways.” Malia said shocking me.

It wasn’t that I thought she was not genuine…. okay maybe I did think that.

“what sometimes I say meaningful things.” She said giving me a smile.

I returned her smile before we walked out of the bathroom. We didn’t get very far when we heard Parrish tell everyone to get down. A smoke grenade went off making it hard to see. I quickly realized the smoke grenade was a distraction. I ran to the holding cells seeing Nolan holding a blue vial of wolfsbane. I quickly tackled Nolan to the ground grabbing his hand that held the wolfsbane. I finally flipped him over so I was straddling his waist and pinning his arms above his head.

“I have to do this!” He said struggling against me.

“Nolan don’t make me have to hurt you!” I said holding him back down.

He stopped struggling and looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

“you’d do that.” He said his voice cracking now.

I looked at his face feeling myself fall back in his trap but I knew I couldn’t let that happen.

“you’re the one that said everything has changed so yeah I would, then maybe you would know how I feel. Nolan you held a gun in my face, you’re trying to kill two innocent teenagers. I’m not the monster Nolan you are. You don’t care about me, the only one faking anything between us was you!  and when I die by the hands of your so called "friends” I just want you to remember that I was the one who truly loved you. " I said finally letting out all the emotions I had been keeping locked inside.

Nolan looked heartbroken.

“you really think that I don’t care about you?” He said trying to get one of his hands free.

He finally got one of his hands free and used it to cup my cheek. I completely forgot about Jiang and Tierney who were right there.

“ask me why I didn’t kill you earlier today.” He said looking in my eyes.

“Nolan please stop.” I said not wanting to hear the lie he was about to tell me.

“ask me.” He repeated.

“Nolan why didn’t you kill me?” I asked.

“Because I love you too.” He said leaning up on one elbow.

I didn’t know if he actually meant it but I guess I didn’t care. I leaned down placing my lips on his in a hungry kiss. I knew this was wrong but it felt so right. I let go of his other arm putting my hands on either side of his face. He wrapped his arms around me kissing me deeply. I was suddenly ripped off of him and thrown in to the wall.

“what the hell?” I said struggling to get up.

I looked up to see Liam growling at Nolan. This was all my fault.

So I decided that I wanted to make this in to a series if you guys want me too? Broken got so much feedback in such a short amount of time so that’s pretty rad! I hope this lives up to that!

next installment Burned

anonymous asked:

"confess something you've thought about me" i have wondered, many times, why you love taylor swift so much

let me tell you a story. it starts at nine years old. a girl with skinned knees is sitting in the back of her mother’s minivan when she hears a voice touch her through the radio. she rests her ear against the speaker because the song sounds like love, and she’s never heard love out loud before. she closes her eyes, feels the satin waves of a ballgown under the tips of her fingers, the cool stone of the balcony under her feet. she learns that love isn’t always easy, and that she should be ready for it when it comes around.

she’s at her grandparents’ house in the desert when she collects enough money to buy a new album. she uses her mother’s ipod and she puts in earbuds for the first time because she wants to hear it alone. her great-grandmother’s paintings line the walls and she stares at them as she walks. she sees herself and someone she loves sitting on the stroked beaches, feels an arm around her shoulders and happiness blooming like dried oil flowers in her chest. “he fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter,” the golden girl sings to her. “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine.”

then there’s a song about growing up and she presses pause, because she isn’t ready to hear it yet. ten years old and she has already felt the fragility of life. others see the ocean but she sees death. she isn’t ready.

that night, a story about her uncle floats around the dinner table, this one just as terrible as the others. though dead before her birth, he is a constant force in her life: a warning, a touch of heartbreak in her mother’s eyes, a mess of lingering regrets on her grandparents’ faces. if only we could have fixed him. she goes to the laundry room that she shares with her sister and collapses on the bed, clicking on a song about innocence. the voice of the girl with the golden hair rolls over her like saltwater waves, here to clean her wounds. “who you are is not what you did. you’re still an innocent.” she thinks he is forgiven now.

twelve, now, it must be. (again, she is made uneasy by the passage of time.) she thinks she might be in love. she turns the music up and the older girl tells her that it will be like a fairytale, like a spark to a waiting wildfire.

thirteen years old, and she knows about love now. knows it from holding hands and slow dancing and retreating to balconies of her own. one night, the boy with the freckles like constellations spattered across his cheeks holds his hand out to her, and it hurts to refuse because the voice once told her in lilting verses that she deserved better, deserved to be loved by someone who treated her like a person, not a toy. (“this is the last time i’m asking you this. put my name at the top of your list.”)

the girl sits in a classroom, her face aflame with what he wants to be shame. he reads the truth of his heart out loud to the whole class, and though he doesn’t say her name, she feels eyes on her because they have been entwined for as long as anyone can remember. she walks home with all too well blaring in her ears because she knows that she’s just lost her first love. the autumn wind makes her tears burn as leaves cry for mercy under her stomping feet. “you call me up again just to break me like a promise. so casually cruel in the name of being honest.” she lets herself cry. she remembers the face of a girl not unlike her, up on stage, tears in her eyes, and she knows that her pain is answered. her pain is felt. it is valid and right and real. we’re a crumpled up piece of paper lying here, because we remember it all too well.

the girl is fourteen when she loses her best friend. she has another angry season, painted with regret and rage. i should have known, she tells herself over and over. “i knew you were trouble when you walked in,” she sings. “so shame on me, now.” and it feels a bit better to sing it, to hear it from the voice who has taught her so much. the voice of wisdom, the voice of sisterhood, tells her that she has felt the same.

the girl is newly fifteen when an illness makes a home inside her bones. one midnight in a hospital bed she sees it like a vision on the ceiling: her illness clutching her hand and vowing, “until death do us part.” (she catches herself musing that death might be kinder to her, but she shoves the thought under her pillow. it still scares her.) months spent in forced solitude, alight with pain and darkened with sadness. one afternoon she collapses on the floor of the shower. she turns the knob until the water scorches her legs, because she’d rather burn than feel the pain. a song plays from her phone on the shelf. “rain came pouring down.” if words could have healed her, she thinks, it would have been these: “when i was drowning, that’s when i could finally breathe. and that morning, gone was any trace of you. i think i am finally clean.” she wants to be clean.

she stays up late because sleep treats her like a stranger. instead of tossing and turning, she watches the girl on stage, wherever she is that night, on her computer screen. she laughs and cries and sings along, and lets herself be taken away from her bedroom, which is beginning to feel more like a prison cell with every passing day. but the girl on stage is bright. she is wise. she takes the girl by the hand and leads her away from the heartache.

her first kiss is a page ripped from your favorite romance novel. sunset on the beach, newly sixteen, sand between toes, fingers between fingers. she listens to stay, stay, stay on the way home because she hopes this one stays. (he does, and then he doesn’t.)

a month later, and she’s at a show. she cries when the girl with the gold hair steps onstage, and she dances the whole night through. she needs help walking back to the car and she can hardly stand the next three days (her illness punishing her), but it was worth it. all of it. because she saw her on stage and heard her voice and felt her presence. it is enough.

time slips by like stanzas on sheet music. it’s a blur of school dances and pain and midterms and hospital rooms. it’s a playlist of out of the woods and treacherous and mine and fearless.

november. well into seventeen. stained with time. hair chopped along her jawline. moonlight tangled in her heartbreak. he broke her heart, and now she breaks his. you’ve got your demons, and darling, they all look like me, she repeats in her mind as she walks away and feels his eyes on her back as he watches her go.

she listens to all you had to do was stay. he left when she still needed him and it makes her hollow. had me in the palm of your hand, she thinks, tearing photographs. stay stay stay. why didn’t he? but the older girl is there. she sings the distraught girl to sleep, one soft melody at a time. (this is a state of grace; this is a worthwhile fight. love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right.)

now eighteen, she has armor to protect her from the rest of the world. she has grown stronger, and new blood of liquid gold flows through her veins. look what you made me do, sings taylor, and the girl sings too. look what you made me do: you made me forge this armor, you made me grow from the ashes of this wildfire you started. but it’s alright because we can dance together. we can have fun. we can stop burning and learn to live.

and that is why i love taylor swift. she taught me what love feels like, what it does to you when it leaves. she bandaged my wounds and scrubbed me clean. she makes me laugh on my darkest days, and is there when i need to cry. she has been there for me through everything, and i’m not about to leave her now.

I know I’m worth more; I need someone to kiss me like I’m about to go to war, because I fight battles every fucking day and I need someone that can see it without me having to say a thing. Someone who just intrinsically knows the way that my overthinking can ruin almost everything - I need someone that knows how to reassure me without me feeling like I’m a drain on her time and energy. I need someone who’s not afraid to show me how she’s feeling, someone who is brave enough to let the walls down - I need to know exactly where I stand so I don’t keep falling into the black holes within my mind. Most of all I need someone who can see that there is a bright light inside me, and actually wants to reach out and touch it - someone who makes damn sure I know how much she wants to by the way she holds my hand - squeezing it, unyielding but so tender. Someone who wants to embrace me, instead of me always being the one to embrace. I have this soft side that I normally hide but it’s dying to come out, it’s been dormant for so long. I had someone’s name lightly written in pencil - it was tentatively awaiting a confirmation of reservation in a space I save for special people, but she never called to say she’d be there; so it’s still waiting for someone that’s going to want to kiss me every day like I’m going to war. She’ll know exactly how much it means to me to have her by my side - and when I find the one who kisses me like that, you better fucking believe I’ll give her every god damn part of me; every shred of loyalty and love that this body carries - I’ll give her all of it, and then some more. When she has a bad day I’ll go out and pick all of the roses with nothing but my bare hands, never minding about the thorns - just so I can see a flash of happy dart across her tear streaked face. I’ll walk barefoot across molten lava just to go get her that kind of ice cream that she likes when the world is dropping bombs. I’ll hold her against me when it’s too loud and the windows of her mind are rattling and she’s scared that she’s falling apart - I’ll hold her against me and she’ll feel the beat of my heart trying to jump out of my chest as it’s trying to keep her together. On rainy days when it’s ceasefire and we’ve got nothing better to do, my eyes will drink her in like she’s my favourite piece of art and I will tell her she belongs in a museum because she’s that god damn exquisite to me. When we make love I’ll make it feel like every time is the last time and like the world is about to end. Apocalyptic raptures - bare naked ascensions, I’ll take her to different dimensions - I’ll make her see all of the fucking stars and when she’s done I’ll wait a moment for her to catch her breath and then I’ll do it all over again - I’ll bring her to a different kind of heaven and it will begin and end right between her thighs. I’ll compromise and I’ll sacrifice and I’ll be there for her, no matter the price because I have so much of myself to give, and I promise I’ll give it all - but I’m getting tired of searching for her; playing games isn’t fun anymore, when life is a fucking war.

Kim Jongin//Pop Up

Summary: The story of how you met a teleporter, lost a boy, and found out more than you figured you ever would about the world, yourself, and Jongin.
Scenario: teleportation!au, fluff, angst
Word Count: 7,285

Keep reading

Tom Holland Imagine - I Have Questions

request: tom imagine on the song I Have Questions - camila

a/n: based very loosely on the song I Have Questions by Camila Cabello. i love this song sooooo much but it’s so sad

word count: 1542

masterlist: (x)

tagged: @pakistaaani

part 2 (x)

part 3 (x)

Originally posted by coffee-with-a-hint-of-fuck-you

“What are you doing here?” you asked him as he stood on the doorstep of the house the two of you had bought together five years ago; the house you had made a home together, filling it with happy memories which you’d hung in mismatched picture frames on the walls over the years - these picture frames were now shattered in tiny pieces across the wooden floors of the house after your fit of rage the night he left; the house which was now filled with an eerie silence and the ghosts of your once perfect relationship; the house he’d abandoned you in five nights ago after giving up on your relationship.

 “I’m sorry,” he said, his eyes tearful. “I didn’t… I never meant for it to be this bad. Please let me in, I just want to talk about it.” You were close to slamming the door in his face, but you resisted. The temptation of welcoming him back home was too strong. The hope of him changing his mind, going back on his word, was still there.

“I have questions for you,” you said, finally opening the door enough for him to enter. “Is it my fault?” you asked sitting on the coffee table in the lounge as Tom sat on the sofa he’d picked out eight months ago after he redecorated the lounge as a surprise while you were away working.
“No,” his face softened slightly. “No of course not. It’s not you, it’s-”
“It’s not you, it’s me,” you finished for him. “Really? You’re gonna use that bullshit?” Tom hung his head, almost in shame, realising how pathetic his clichéd excuse was. “Why, Tom? Do you even care about any of this? Do you care?” you gestured to the house around you, tears pricking at your eyes. “Why don’t you care about this life we’ve been building together over the past decade? Why don’t you care?”

Almost ten years ago, you had met Tom at a mutual friend’s birthday party and the two of you were smitten with one another instantly. You’d fallen in love with him fast. He’d seen you at your worst, and you’d seen him at his; when things didn’t seem to go the way either of you had planned in terms of your careers, or sour friendships, or just life in general, you always had each other to come home to. He was the only constant in your life, even if he was travelling throughout most of the year for his job. You had had rocky patches in your relationship in the past, of course, but neither of you had ever walked out before, never even threatening to do so. 

“You took your ring off,” his breath hitched in his throat as he noticed the engagement ring he’d given you three years ago wasn’t in its usual spot on the fourth finger of your left hand. You nodded as you bit down on the inside of your cheeks to stop the tears from spilling. Tom rubbed his hands over his face, the skin of his hands catching on the stubble he hadn’t managed to shave. 

“I couldn’t look at it anymore,” you said quietly. It was upstairs, in the drawer of his bedside cabinet, in the box it had came in when he bought it. You’d only brought yourself to take it off last night. Keeping it on had only reminded you of what you once had, and it kept a niggling thought in the back of your mind that he might come home and tell you it was only a joke, that he wasn’t really leaving you. 

“Is there someone else?” you finally asked the question you didn’t have the courage to ask him the other day. It had been your first thought when he announced he was ending the relationship. He didn’t flinch at your question, not bothering to even lift his head up to look at you. “Oh God,” you exhaled shakily. Your chest felt heavy, knowing his answer without him having to say a word.
“It’s not what you think,” he said bluntly.
“Yeah, well, it never is, is it?”
“Let me explain, y/n, please.”
“I should’ve never ever trusted you,” you thought aloud. “Ten years, Tom. Ten years we’ve been together. Why don’t you care?”
“I do care.”
“No you don-”
“Yes, y/n. Yes I fucking do care. Why do you think I came back here, huh? Why do you think I’m talking to you in here rather than upstairs packing my stuff?” Tom sounded angry, his voice raised. His jaw was tense, and the vein in his temple was slowly becoming more prominent. His fists were balled in his lap, his knuckles turning an ice white. “I care. I care too fucking much,” he spat. “It’s killing me.”

“How long have you been cheating on me?” You asked after a long, uncomfortable silence.
“It’s not… I wasn’t… I’m not..” he stumbled over his words.
“Answer the damn question, Tom!”
“Four months,” he whispered. He lifted his head to look at you through teary eyes. “I’m sorry.” His voice sounded desperate. “Babe. Baby, please!” he called after you as you stood from you seat on the coffee table and left the lounge. 

He followed you into the kitchen as you hurriedly tried to escape him. As he grabbed your wrist you turned to face him, brushing him off of you. He was crying now, sobbing even. Whenever you had seen Tom like this, you’d kissed him and held him in your arms, comforting him until he calmed down. But you couldn’t do that now, as much as you wanted to, you couldn’t wipe away his tears. 

“After everything Harrison went through when Rachel cheated on him. You know how much that ripped him apart.” Six years ago, Harrison’s ex-girlfriend, Rachel, was sleeping with another man, and it had been Tom that had walked in on them. Of course, he’d told Harrison straight away, and he and Rachel had broken up, leaving you and Tom to pick up the pieces of Harrison’s broken heart. You’d both cried with Harrison, his misfortune paining you and Tom equally. You’d promised neither of you were ever to go through anything like that again. “Please, Tom. I’m waiting for an explanation.”

Tom took a deep breath to try and steady his racing heartbeat. His left hand rubbed at the skin of his right arm fiercely, a nervous habit he had picked up. With shaky hands, you wiped the tears from your cheeks, watching as he fidgeted under your gaze.

“I stopped seeing her,” he told you. “I know that doesn’t make it any better. I know. And I thought it would be okay, I thought I could just forget about it, like it was just a blip in our relationship. We’ve been together for almost eleven years, y/n. That’s a long time.”

“It’s not an excuse.”
“I know that,” Tom was sombre, his heart was heavy with sadness. “It was last year, the end of July. I… I ended it just before Christmas. I thought that if you never found out it would all be okay. And it was. We were so fucking good right after it, don’t you remember, baby? It made me realise how much I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you, babe. The, uhm, the affair just proved that to me. But then I kept having dreams of you finding out, and it made me feel so guilty and it was eating away at me. I just couldn’t put you through that. I thought that maybe if I ended it, with no explanation, I thought it would save you from heartbreak.”
“I gave you all of me, Tom. My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears. Everything. You know everything about me. I thought I knew everything about you too.”

“It’s been killing me,” he continued. “It’s killed me thinking of you alone in this house. I thought I at least owed you explanation.” His eyes followed you as you took a seat at the dining table, both of you unsure of what to say. “I love you,” Tom concluded. “I love you so much. I still want to marry you, babe. I still want to live in this house with you. I still want to start a family with you. I still want all of the future we planned together. If you’ll let me?”

“No,” you said, shaking your head.

“No?” Tom questioned, his voice wobbling. “I’m your soulmate, y/n. Don’t you remember what we used to say? We’re so lucky we found our soulmates so young because we have so much more time to spend together. Don’t you remember? You’re my soulmate. My fucking soulmate. I don’t want this to end. I can’t leave you. The other day, it was just the guilt, I know I needed to tell you. I needed to come clean. But we can try again, right?” He was almost begging you now. “We can forget about all of this. It’s just a bump in the road. You’re still my soulmate. This doesn’t change the fact you’re my soulmate.”

“Maybe I don’t believe in soulmates anymore, Tom.”

Perfect - Tom Holland

Hello hello everyone! So this isn’t based on a request but I have been absolutely obsessed with Perfect by Ed Sheeran and was very inspired to write this. If you’ve never heard this song I totally recommend that you do I linked it below so you can listen as you read. I have seen posts like this before so I’m sorry if you’ve seen stuff like this already and I tried to make this as original as possible. Hope you enjoy! I apologize in advance as this got so much longer than I had intended but, here it is! Comment or message me for requests! 

Word Count: 7k (whoops) 

Warnings: Some swearing


“I found a love for me. Darling just dive right in, and follow my lead”

Tom remembers the day that you came into his life. Your hair was in a messy, yet not so messy bun, wavy strands falling out near the sides of your face, framing it beautifully. Your long eyelashes fluttered when you blinked, your bright orbs stunning his senses. He notices a MacBook under your arm and a college sweatshirt under your army green jacket. A single strap of a backpack slung over your shoulder as the other hangs by your back. You had come into a coffee shop on a gloomy afternoon, that just so happened to be the afternoon that Harrison and Tom snuck offset. Not being able to take the suit off, Tom opted to hide the costume not-so-skillfully under a shirt and long jacket

“Well I found a girl, beautiful and sweet” 

Tom waited in line impatiently and anxiously as he was not supposed to be wearing the suit anywhere off the movie set. He was already terrible at keeping secrets. As you had gotten into line directly after him, you had noticed the young man standing in front of you in the blue and red tight pants that also covered his feet. You scoffed a small laugh through your lips, raising an eyebrow, deciding to comment on the guys interesting choice of legwear as you waited in line. 

“Those pants are, amazing” You smiled sweetly, amusement apparent in your voice as you took a step to stand beside him. Tom was so focused on not getting caught that he didn’t even realize that the beautiful girl he had noticed earlier had been behind him. Your voice sounded like the perfect music to Tom’s ears. It gave him a warm feeling that he could barely describe. To your comment, his cheeks took on a blush and he became flustered for a moment before answering. Before he could even think of what to say, needing to choose words carefully due to the situation,

“Yeah I know right,” He takes a moment to look down at his legs. “I made a bold choice in pants today, how do they look?” His accent rung in your ears and took you by surprise. Embarrassingly enough, your facial expression showed that for you. 

“Whoa!” You gasped, “Your English! What the hell are you doing here?” You joked, giggles erupting from your lips. Another sound of harmony to Tom. 

“I’m here for work actually” Tom states, chuckling at your sense of humor. 

“Ahh” You nodded. “Are those the pants that you wear to work?” You raise your eyebrows, your chest bubbling in the light-hearted banter. 

“Yeah” Toms mouth curls into a large opened mouth smile. You had no idea that he was being completely serious, and that he had purposefully meant for his answer to sound like a joke. 

“I have to say, they look kinda like something that Spiderman would wear or something.” You mentioned, looking at his feet and shins at the design of the fabric. Tom panics for a split second, eyes opening wide. He quickly covers it up. 

“Really? Do you like Spiderman?” He questions innocently, interested as to what you would say. 

“Oh my god yes! I’m a total Marvel nerd!” You gushed. This made Tom’s heart swell. 

“Me too-” Tom gets cut off by being called up in line. The pair meets again not but three minutes later as they stand to wait for their drinks. 

“So British boy, where do you find pants like those?” You smirk, scanning his legs for the tenth time, not being able to shake the feeling that you had seen them somewhere before. 

“Um,” Tom weighs his choices for a reply, and there are not many. “I don’t even remember.” “Come on, you can’t just forget where you buy a pair of pants like that” You wave your hands, gesturing to his legs. 

“Well American girl,” He smirks, repeating your commentary. “I guess I did forget.” He nods, toothless smile apparent. 

“Shame” You gave him a sideways smile, your eyes locking for a moment or two longer than they probably needed to. “What’s your name Britain?” 

“Tom” He chuckles as he responds. 

“Y/N” You toothlessly grin back. You hear Tom’s name get called from behind the counter but he ignores it, as he is too busy looking at you as he thinks about your name. Y/N, Y/N, Y/N. He is broken out of his trance when you point to the counter, motioning to the fact that his drinks were prepared and ready. Flustered once again, he takes the two drinks, wanting nothing more than to stay with her rather than going back to film. 

“I’m sorry, I have to get back to work. But I can’t help but want to talk to you more.” 

His comment makes you smile. A light pink spreading its way across your cheeks. You hold up a single finger to him, telling him to wait for one moment. You stride back to your bag where you find a pen quickly. You walk back to find Tom sipping on one of the coffees in his hand. You reach him just as he takes it back from his lips. You extend your arm, taking it from his hand, writing your number neatly on the white paper cup. You hand it back to him. 

“Now, we can talk as much as you’d like.” You name is called and you take your drink. “Have fun at work” You shoot Tom a sly smile. You then turn about back to where you had set down your bag and Macbook. Tom is awestruck as he realizes what you have done, and his mouth remains in an agape smile as he finds Harrison, telling him everything. He waits a while before texting you, but his excitement gets the best of him. 

Hi Y/N

To his delight, your respond quickly. 

So, those are the pants that you wear to work then huh?

“I never knew you were the someone waiting for me. ‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love. Not knowing what it was” 

The nineteen-year-old Tom Holland had been on a train of crazy adventures before even turning twenty. The acting, the fame, becoming the new spiderman. Somehow it was you that took him by surprise the most. He knew he wanted to focus on his acting, and he hoped that if he worked hard that he could achieve his dreams. But you, he never saw you coming, and that hit him like a brick wall moving at the speed of light. 

Tom knew that after you met, all that he wanted to do was see you again. But he did not know that he would. He would see you. He would see you again, and again, and another time after that. All throughout the time that Tom was filming in Atlanta, he wanted to see you, and he did. And you wanted to see him too. In the months that Tom had gotten to know you, and date after date, you soon became his girlfriend. 

Once Tom had stopped filming in Atlanta, he had gone back home. But somehow that didn’t stop the two of you. You just so happened to be studying abroad for a semester. Abroad meaning England. There, you saw Tom very often, there Tom had realized something. You were it for him. And for a while, he had no idea what that meant. He had loved people in the past, but this was so much different. So much better. All Tom knew is that you made him feel like nothing else. A feeling that he could only describe in few ways. Like a child hearing sleigh bells on Christmas Eve’s night. Like sitting by the fireplace wrapped in a blanket with your dog. 

Like finding the one that you love. 

I will not give you up this time” 

After the semester was over, you inevitably moved back to the states. Knowing this, Tom never found a time to tell you the way that he felt. The distance would put a dent in your relationship, so, you broke things off. It was one of the hardest things that you had ever done, but you thought it was right. You only had one more semester to finish school, and you had to focus on that. 

Tom sulked for weeks. After seeing you so often within the seven months that you had known each other, having you ripped away so quickly took a toll on the young man. He tried to convince himself that yes, it was the right thing for the two of you to do. But he simply could not bring himself to that awful conclusion. He couldn’t just give up. 

So he didn’t. 

Tom booked a fight, packed a bag, and journeyed to find you. When he did, told you everything. 

“Y/N” He started. 

“But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes, you’re holding mine”

“Tom?” You questioned, eyes wide. “What the hell are you doing-” He cut you off by kissing you more passionately than he ever had before. His heart began to glow as you did not resist him, but kissed back, just as hard. You had been miserable without him too. 

“I don’t care about what you think is right, because us not being together, that, that isn’t right. I know it may be difficult, but I don’t care about that either. All I care about is you. Y/N I fucking love you, and honestly, if you love me too, that’s all that matters” And so he had said it. “You have my heart, and I hope I have yours” You smiled as your eyes filled with happy tears. You let out a watery laugh. 

“Oh Tom, Tom Holland you do. You have my heart. I love you” 

“You do?” He takes a moment to process the words that you are saying. 

You look into his eyes, and the look that you give him is all he needs to confirm. “You do.” 

Yes, I do. And I have no idea, how this is gonna work, or what we’re gonna do, but-” 

“We’ll do it” Tom finishes your statement for you. “Now shut up and kiss me”

“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song” 

Now it wasn’t always easy, but somehow, the two of you had done it. In four months, you finished your last semester of college at took to the stars as an aspiring writer, trying to get your first book published, and Tom was preparing for the release of Spiderman. Just before the release party, the two of you celebrated one year of dating over facetime. 

Having never been to a Hollywood event before, you were exceedingly nervous about everything. Tom took care of a lot, booking the two of you a place to stay for the week, arranging his limo to pick you up beforehand, helping you find a place for you to get a dress. Having become close friends with Laura and Zendaya, the three of you got extravagant dresses together, and their teams of stylists did your hair and makeup. 

There was a line of limos, carrying most of the cast. The girls got into their respective limos, leaving me to wait for Tom. You watched as he stepped out of the black limousine, looking dashing as ever. 

The two of you hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks, but when Tom picked you up in a limo on the way to the red carpet that night, he was more astonished at the sight of you than he had ever been. 

“Why don’t you look handsome spiderboy” You approached him from behind. He smirks, turning around, but his smirk fades into awe as he drinks in the sight of the women that is his. “What?” 

“You” He begins to take large strides towards you. “I love you” And then he smashes your lips to his. To this, you squeal against his lips. He gently leans you back, his hand supporting you on the soft skin of your spine. “You look absolutely stunning darling,” he said as he slowly took his lips from yours. Darling. A word that held a soft spot for you.

“Smooth Holland” You giggled, referring to the dipped position you were in, looking like something straight out of a movie. “Thank you, darling” You mimicked him as you often did, reaching a hand to his face, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “I love you too” 

And with that, he opened the door for you to get inside, and the two of you were off to the premier. As you neared the red carpet, a million thoughts ran through Toms’ head. He was so nervous. All he wanted was for people to like the movie. All he wanted was for you to like the movie. His biggest fear is that you wouldn’t love it as much as he did. You had noticed his bouncing leg and shaky breaths and placed a hand just above his knee. You reassured him with your touch and your eyes. 

“You know how we’ve been talking about announcing our relationship?” You ask Tom. 

“Yes,” He looks at you, mind distracted from his nerves. 

“What if we do it tonight? We’ve been together for so long and your fans practically know already, I think it’s time” 

“Babe, I would love to. As long as you are ready and okay with it” Tom responds, remember previous conversations on this topic. You were drowning in worry and fear of what people would think and how this would change your life. Right as you pull up the red carpet and the flashing lights, you nod to him, confirming that you are ready for this life-changing moment. 

“You ready love?” You ask him. 

“Oh my god yeah, let’s go” He rushes, nerves consuming him once again. You gave him a lighthearted kiss. 

“You got this” 

This gave Tom a small boost in confidence as he opened the door. The screams are defining as he waves to the press and the people. He turns, helping you out of the vehicle and it seems that the cheering gets even louder.  

After that, the night went absolutely beautifully. You walked the red carpet, managing somehow not to fall over your heels. You spoke to Tom’s co-stars who were friends of your as well. You and Tom took pictures with fans, and you finally announced the fact that you were indeed together. The response was overwhelmingly positive. Everyone went inside and you watched the movie. You held Tom’s hand in yours, loving every second of the film. Tom smiled, being reassured more and more every time you laughed. 

The after party of the premiere was a blur. So many people were coming up to Tom, praising him for his work. Many people approached you as well, asking for your autograph and wanting to speak with you. You were taken aback just by the fact that so many people knew who you were, for your writing as well as you being with Tom. 

Much to your dismay, you had no chance to steal a dance with your favorite man all night. Though you were completely understanding and accepting of why. On your way back to the house you were staying, Tom was surging with energy, on cloud nine from the experience. He’s voice flooded your ears about the people he had spoken too as well as what they had said. You were nothing but happy for him. After thirty minutes of Tom’s nonstop talking, which you didn’t mind one bit, Tom leaned back in his seat, letting out an exasperated breath. 

“What a fucking night” You giggled at his demeanor. The limo stopped at the secluded house and you both thanked the driver. 

“I’m so proud of you” You kissed his cheek as you stepped out of the car. 

“Thank you, darling. I don’t know if I could have gotten through tonight without you though, I’m so glad you could come” 

“Tom I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” You leaned your head on his shoulder as you walked up the drive. 

“Although,” Tom turned to face you. “I am slightly disappointed that I never got that dance we promised each other” He cocks one eyebrow upwards. You remember back to the night of your anniversary when you shared your want for a slow dance with him at the premiere. 

“I can fix that,” You told him. “Come here” You take his hand, leading him to the edge of the concrete where you discarded your beautiful yet painful heels. He soon follows, taking off his fancy dress shoes and socks, stepping from the pavement to the cool grass. You take him round to the back of the house where you set your shoes and your clutch purse after retrieving your phone. You turn on a song that you both love, clicking the volume all the way up. Tom sends you a loving smile as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. He hands slide around your hips, keeping them at the small of your back as you sway to the soft music. 

“When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight”

“The movie was amazing Tom” You continue to talk about your favorite scenes, Tom letting you ramble as you had let him. Soon rain began to fall on the two of you. Tom spins you and the rain turns into a pour. You both look upwards and laugh. You pull Tom in closer, resting your head on his chest.  “I probably look ridiculous” You laugh. 

“Darling you look perfect” He mumbles. And with that, you kiss him, unable to grasp the fact that he can still make you blush so furiously. 

“Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know”

One of the things that Tom loves the most about you is how strong you are. You are undoubtedly his rock, and he had no idea how you do it. He knows that you have been through a lot of hardships in your life, and though it all, you still remain the strongest person he has ever met. Tom remembers the first time that you saw him cry. 

You were accompanying him and the cast on a few of the dates on the spiderman release tour. Today, he was going to a children’s hospital to surprise children in the Spiderman suit. You stood by his side, taking videos and pictures and talking with the parents of the children. 

The circumstances had made you and Tom emotional throughout the day, but when you had returned to the hotel that night, Tom completely broke down, crumbling in your arms. It happened almost instantly after you had opened the door to your shared room. You and Tom hadn’t spoken much on the way home, you know he loves doing these things, but you hated how it affected him afterward. You threw you belongings onto the table and turned to face Tom who sits on the bed, his eyes were red and watering, and you could tell that he had been holding back. You sit beside him crossing your legs and placed a comforting hand on his cheek and he melts into it. A few tears streaming down his face. 

“Oh honey” You whispered, already knowing what was the matter.

That’s when he lost it. You moved your hand, leading him into a hug and Tom began sobbing to no end. You move over his lap to straddle him, pulling his head to your shoulder. 

“Shh shh, Tom” You pulled him close to you, rocking him back and forth. “It’s okay. It’s okay” You tell him, on the verge of tears yourself. 

“Y/N, they deserve so much better” He sobs, his body convulsing. “They don’t deserve all of that shit” He tries to say, but his voice won’t allow him. Instead of trying to continue, he clutches you tighter, holding on for dear life. 

“Oh god, Tom I know. Baby, I know” You hold him tighter. “It’ll be okay” You stay like that for a while as his tears dry out and his throat becomes numb. At that point, he is simply worn out. In silence, your both change and climb back onto the bed, where you can tell Tom is still rather upset. You pull him on top of you and rub his back. You change to rubbing his hair, and soon he falls to sleep with tear stained cheeks, knowing that if nothing else good in this cruel world of sick and evil, he always has you. 

She shares my dreams, I hope that someday, I’ll share her home” 

You were aware of the fact that Tom had been looking for a place to reside when his life wasn’t a thing of chaos. You also knew that it was in the UK, not in America. You had no idea what that would mean for the two of you. You had absolutely loved England when you lived there so a semester, but your life was here. 

Tom knew that after the spiderman tour, he would be going straight into filming Chaos Walking. He had boughten a flat, near his family and he wanted nothing more for you to live with him there. But with that, he knew that there were things to consider. He knew that your life was in the United States. That was a given. But what would happen when he was away for months at a time? There was no way that he was going to ask her to live with him and then leave her all of the time. He could not do that to her. He was torn. 

But he had soon found a short-term solution. Rather than asking her to move into his flat with him, he asked you if you would live with him and his brothers along with Harrison in their house in Montreal while he filmed Chaos Walking. To this, you happily obliged. You wanted nothing more than to live with Tom. You thought of it as your next big adventure together, as well as a sort of test to see if you could truly live together. Because you assumed that is what was coming next. 

So, you moved into the cozy house in Montreal, Canada. With Tom and three of your best friends. You knew the craziness that you were getting yourself into, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own”

You and Tom both loved children, it was a given that if you two stayed together, you would definitely have a few of your own. Though, your baby fever had truly started on the Spiderman: Homecoming press tour. After Tom’s meltdowns of sadness and anger seemed to follow some of his hospital visits, you were reluctant to have him continue. Despite this, making the kids happy is all that he wanted. He always wanted to make people happy. So he continued, and during one of the hospital visits, somehow Tom had gotten a baby into his hands. A small, wrinkly, adorable newborn baby that looked like it was meant to be in Tom’s arms. There were many pictures taken that day of Tom and the baby, as well as you Tom and the baby together. 

After the pictures of Tom and the baby, alongside you and the baby circled the internet, there were many of your fans joking about the baby secretly being yours and Tom’s. 

You were standing on the balcony of the hotel room, scrolling through your endless feed, a smile coming to your lips as you see yet another picture of you and Tom with the baby. In your eyes, it was a hopeful glance into the future. You began to giggle as you read the fans ridiculous comment, placing theories and betting on scenarios.  

“What’s so funny over there darling?” Tom stepped out of the bathroom whilst running a towel over his hair, his sweats loosely hanging off of his hips. 

“Come look at this babe” You call him over. Tom reenters the bathroom for a moment, coming out without a towel, but now with a tee shirt in his grasp. You watch as he fumbles with it as he walks to you, hugging you from behind as he reaches you. 

“What is it” He eagerly rests his chin on your shoulder, looking over your phone. After a few moments, you feel his chest rumble in a deep chuckle. 

“I’ve seen so many of those since yesterday. Everyone is freaking out” 

“Yeah, I know” You giggle softly. “It’s really funny” You slide your thumb over your phone, finding more pictures and post similar. The two of you sit in the quiet buzz of the darkening city for a few minutes as you read post after post, theory after theory. Your scrolling comes to a halt as you find a picture that looks like the three of you are a family. And for some reason, you cannot stop looking at it. The caption on the picture being ‘Just wait until these two have a family of their own’ 

“You know, that doesn’t sound so bad if you ask me” Tom leans his head into your neck, kissing it softly. 

“What?” You ask as you were slightly zoned out looking at the image. You turn around in his arms. “A baby?” 

“Yeah” He grins. “Not right now of course, but eventually, of course.” He looks deep into your eyes. “I mean we both love and want kids I thought it was a no-brainer” He laughs lightheartedly. 

“No, of course, it’s a no-brainer. It’s just crazy surreal to be talking about it” 

“Well get used to it darling. Cause I’m gonna put a baby in you some day. I promise” He smiles that sweet smile of his. I throw my head back in laughter at his choice of words. 

“Okay, Holland. I promise I’ll carry that baby you put in me someday.” 

And to that, he just kisses you. A kiss that says I love you, in a million different ways that just became a million and one. 

“We are still kids, but we’re so in love
Fighting against all odds,” 

The filming of Chaos Walking was coming to an end, and Tom was still at a crossroads. He wants you to live with him, he couldn’t believe how much he wanted that. But that would be asking so much of you. Tom has been in his head too much pondering the topic. Little did he see, you were beginning to notice. 

But you thought something totally different about the matter. 

You had become slightly worried at the fact that Tom happened even mentioned living together after filming. And the fact that the film was wrapping up, and Tom had been acting strange, your immediate thought was that he was never gonna ask, nor did he want to in the first place. 

One day, late in the afternoon, the two of you were on a walk through the streets of a small town in Montreal. Neither of you had said much. Until you could no longer take it. 

“Tom,” You started, swiveling in front of him. “Do you not want to live together?” You asked bluntly. 

“W-what” Tom blinked a few times, taken aback by your question. So you repeated it for him. “Darling, of course, I want us to live together, what would make you think otherwise?” 

“Tom you’ve been acting so strange ever since filming started wrapping! And you have not once even mentioned us living together after this! So what are we just gonna go back to living on opposite sides of the world again? Because Tom that did not work!” You continue on your outburst. “I know you have a place near your moms, and for some reason, I was expecting you to ask me to live with you there! Unless you wanna get a place here then that’s okay too! And if you weren’t even thinking about moving in together and I’m being ridiculous right now then please-” Tom cuts you off by kissing you. 

“I know we’ll be alright this time” 

“There is no doubt in my mind that I want to live with you Y/N. But me asking you to move to a whole other country, that’s way too much of me to ask of you, as much as I want you to live with me in England, I could never ask you to do that for me.” Your heart softens at his explanation. 

“Tom, I love you so much, that you want me to move to England with you, isn’t asking much. There is nothing that you could ask that I wouldn’t do for you.”

“Is that a yes then? You’ll move in with me?” 

“Yes, that’s a yes, you lovable idiot. I’ll move in with you” 

“Yes!” Tom picks you us my your waist and spins you around. You scream in surprise and delight as you share this moment, this milestone. You’ll work out the rough details later, but at least for now, everything was perfect, and you were going to change your address to his. 

“Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I’ll be your man
I see my future in your eyes” 

And just as you had predicted, living with Tom was the hardest easy thing that you had ever done. Your shared apartment served more as a home base rather than a home that you lived in all of the time. As Tom was filming his new movies, you were on a new adventure. You book release and then the release tour. Some way, somehow, you had gotten your schedules to coordinate, so most of the time you were traveling with each other. Though of course there were many times as well where you didn’t see each other for weeks at a time. It took a toll on the both of you, but in the end, it changed absolutely nothing. 

For your third anniversary, and a celebration of the end of your book release tour, Tom had taken you to the fanciest of dinners, where you ate some of the most expensive food imaginable. You drank champagne on ice that was never ending, all the while, Tom was a ball of nerves. His acting skills served him well in that he had almost never appreciated more than that night. 

You got back to the house that night, to find candles and rose petals everywhere. But no Tom. He had opened the door for you to go inside, and he had all but disappeared. 

“Tom?” You called into the house. You followed a trail of candles and rose petals to the living room where you found your boyfriend in the middle of a heart of fire and red flowers. Your hand clasps over your mouth. Could it be?

“Y/N” I breath escapes your mouth and the palm of your hand as yes indeed, this is happening. You step into the heart, finding your free hand in his. 

“Tom?” You say again, not believing it to be true. 

“Y/N” He repeats. And with your one hand still in his, he slowly lifts up his pant leg, bending down to one knee. A tear escapes your eye. “These past three years, have been the most amazing ones yet. And not because my career took off or because I got my dream role, no. Not because of any of that. These past three years have been the best years of my life because I have gotten the honor of sharing them with you.” A single tear slips from his right eye as more and more roll out of yours. “When I look at you, I see all I want in the rest of my life. I see my future in your eyes. You have made me the happiest man on the face of this earth. But somehow, you could make me even happier,” He reaches into his pocket. “If you did me the honors and became my wife” A happy cry leaves your mouth. 

“Oh my god Thomas” You use his full name as he takes his hand from yours, wrapping his fingers around the top of the box. Now both of your hands are covering your mouth in awe. 

“Will you marry me?” He opens the small black velvet box. But you don’t look at the ring. No, you look at him. 

“Yes” You throat can barely make out your words, but he hears them. 

“You didn’t even look at the ring” He lets out a watery laugh and you kneel down on your knees to meet his height. 

“I don’t have too. Tom, of course, I’ll marry you” Both still kneeling, you kissed amongst the fire and the sweet smelling roses. 

Tom somehow manages to lift you up from your kneeling position, still holding your lips to his. After what seems like forever, and somehow not long enough, he sets you on your feet and takes his mouth from yours. He swiftly takes the ring from the box, tossing the cube behind his shoulder. Your shoulders shake in a laugh and you attempted to swipe away your remaining tears. Tom takes your left hand in both of his large ones. 

For the first time, you catch sight of the ring. You stare at the most beautiful, shimmering diamond ring as the love of your life slips it onto your finger with ease. It fits perfectly. 

“It’s beautiful” You tear your gaze from the ring to him. 

“Well, it’s perfect for you then” He smirks. You scoff in a laugh. He never even begins to stops letting you know that he loves you. “Come here” He pulls you into a slow dance position. “Guess what Y/N” 

“What Tom?” You quirk your eyebrows. 

“We’re getting married” 

“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don’t deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight”

The crazy train that is the life of Tom Holland never could compare to what it felt like to marry you. His heart was beating out of his chest as the last fo the wedding party had walked the aisle. 

You were next. 

It had been nearly two years since Tom had slipped that ring on your finger and this moment was all he had been dreaming of since. 

He looks over his shoulders to find Harrison and his brothers, all looking sharp in their suits. Harrison gives him a nod, it’s finally time. All of the people in the venue stand from their seats, this makes Tom stand up straighter. When finally, what could have been mistaken as an angel straight from the depths of heaven itself, stepped through the doors. 

And if that was the last thing that he ever saw, he would die with a grin on his face. 

Tom couldn’t help the beam of a smile on his face. He nearly lost all composure seeing you walking towards him. He brings a hand to his mouth, sliding it down his chin then straightening his posture again, bringing his hands together in front of him as he watched you. The same giddy grin and blush were displayed on your face as you saw his reaction to you. 

You finally reached the altar and Tom cames to meet you and your father. The two most important men in your life shared a hug and a quick word and then, with tears in his eyes, your father gave you to him. 

“Hi there” You toothlessly grin slyly as the two of you step to the officiant. 

“Hi darling” 

You handed your flowers back to your best friend and maid of honor so you could finally join both of your hands. 

The ceremony was a blur of tears and commitments of love, and before you knew it, you were Mr. and Mrs. Holland. 

To say that it was the happiest moment of both of your lives would be an understatement. You walked back down the aisle, being flooded with applause and shouts of congratulations. 

That night, after being announced into the reception for the first time as a married couple, you shared your first dance. You had no idea what song it was, Tom begged to pick it, and wouldn’t tell you when he had. You both wander out onto the dance floor before you stop him. 

“Wait!” You slip off your heels, tossing them to your maid of honor. “Okay” You breath out, wanting nothing more than to dance with your husband. Husband. 

“In true tradition” He refers to the many times you had danced without shoes. One in mind specifically. The lights dim and the music flows out of the speakers. You gasp as you recognize the song and the memory that accompanies it. 

“Did I choose well?” He smirks, knowing fair well what this song means to you. 

“The song from after the premiere” You gush. “When we danced in the rain” You hold him close and sway to the music, just as you had that night, seeming like a lifetime ago. He twirls you around, your curls following a second behind, falling in a slightly messy fashion around your face. He pulls you back to him. 

“God, you look so stunning my love. I don’t deserve any of this” 

“I think quite the opposite Mr. Holland” 

“Thank you for giving me a love I could have never dreamed of, Mrs. Holland” He emphasizes his last two words. To that, I open my mouth in awe of how it sounds. 

“You deserve the world Tom” Place a kiss on his lips. 

“Hey Y/N, guess what?” He mumbles on your lips. 

“Hmm” You pull away, resting your forehead against his. 

“We’re married” 

“Baby, I’m dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song”

“Something on your mind babe?” His voice startles you, for you were peacefully sitting out  on the patio of your new house.“Sorry” He notices he made you jump. You shake off his apology as he sits next to you. 

“Kinda, I guess, a little” You answer his previous question. 

“What wrong darling” 

“Trust me when I say that nothing is wrong” You smirk. 

“Okay, then what are you out pondering in the middle of the night?” 

“Dance with me,” You say, nearly as a demand. “We haven’t slow danced since our wedding, Tom! A year and a half is far too long” 

“Darling, you still haven’t answered my-” 

“Shh” You cut him off taking his hand in yours and lifting from his seat. You turned on the song. The one you had your first dance to as a couple, the one that you danced to at your wedding, it was only a practice of tradition that it is playing for this. 

“Y/N you’re freaking me out a bit” 

“I said it was nothing bad, do you trust me?” You look at him through your eyelashes. 

“Of course,” He says in a hushed voice. 

“Then just dance with me” 

And so you sway back and forth to the all too familiar music. No spins or dips, for you both just rather hold each other and rock back and forth. As the three and a half minute song only has a minute or so left, you find your self-running out of time. 

“Hey, Tom” You lift your head from his shoulder, placing your head on his forehead, as you have many times before. 

“Yes, my love?” 

“Guess what?” Your voice cracks. 

“What darling?” 

“I’m pregnant” 

“I have faith in what I see” 

That wakes him up quick and he looks at you with curious eyes. 


“Tom you’re gonna be a dad” 

“Oh my god! Are you serious!?” He lets go of you as the song fizzles out. “I’m gonna be a dad?!” To this you nod happily, your heart glowing. “I’m gonna be a dad!” He throws his hands in the air, shouting it to the world. And at that moment, you couldn’t care less that he most likely woke people from their slumber. Because he embraced you softly and kissed you roughly, and with a large hand covering my still flat tummy he whispered, “We’re gonna be parents.” 

“Now I know I have met an angel, in person
And she looks perfect” 

Seventeen hours you were in labor. Seventeen hours of screams, and curses, and agonizing pain for the both of you, your baby girl was born. Once again, he had no idea that there was any possible way for him to love you any more than he already did. But somehow he could. You had just given him a new way, the biggest way, for him to love you even more. 

It was the middle of the night, and Tom was watching you sleep when the small human in the cot next to your hospital bed began to move. Wanting nothing more than for you to get some rest, he moved to the hospital’s bassinet and took her out of it. Cooing her back to a sound state. 

He returned to his chair, cradling his baby so gently as if she would crumble through his fingers. 

“Hi Princess” He whispers to the child, his child. Her eyes staring right back into his. “Hi darling” He smiles as you had been the only person he has ever called that. “Well don’t you look just like your mummy” 

And it was in that moment, that Tom had met his second angel. Oddly enough he hadn’t realized it before. You were his angel, and so was this beautiful baby girl that he got to call his daughter. He looked over to you, the love of his life, having gone through so much pain for so long, and yet still, you looked like an angel. That’s it. That’s what you were. 

“My two angels” 

“I don’t deserve this
You look perfect tonight” 


Originally posted by riverdalebish

Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader

Request: “3 - Zach Dempsey”


3. “Home is whenever I’m with you.”

Word count: 1.196

Posted: 12th of May 2017

A/N: It is finally Friday and it means that I am posting many imagines tonight! Here’s a Zach imagine to start, requested by my lovely Aja. I am trying to complete her long list of imagines and I am enjoying it!
Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it and please don’t be afraid to send me some feedbacks, my ask is always open for them, even when you need someone to talk to.
I am so overwhelmed for the requests and I hope to finish them before I start my training period, but I doubt it. I am trying my best to write as many imagines as I can in these days though. I just hope that you love my imagines and you enjoy them. Thank you so much.

P.S.: I am not accepting part 2 requests as I have more than a hundred prompt requests in my ask box. There’s a little bit of chaos in my head right now and I would appreciate if you ask for something else, than staying on the same story lines. Thank you.

- G. x

Link: Prompt list

Warning: a little bit of angst.

“Zach, I’ve made myself clear earlier today,” Your recently ex-boyfriend was revealed by your front door as you decided to open it after several loud deafening and annoying knocks. “I don’t want to see you anymore.” You emotionlessly stated, you still had fresh tear stains on your cheeks as you spent your whole day crying on the couch.

“(Y/N), please let me explain.” Zach worriedly insisted as he knew how much he hurt you, although he didn’t want to and he never meant to do it. “You know that I’ve never wanted to hurt you, right?”

“Zach, you’ve already hurt me.” You shook your head as you bit your lip, trying to stop yourself from crying. You were sure that you were vulnerable, but you wanted to put some barriers between Zach and your heart, he hurt you and you couldn’t just let him in like that again. “I heard you and Marcus, talking about some sort of bet.” You explained and a tight knot was being formed in your stomach by the thought of it. It hurt you and you couldn’t not point it out.

“(Y/N), I am here to explain you what that bet really meant.” You heard in his voice that he was trying to convince you. You were hurt and he knew that you wouldn’t let yourself in that easily.

“Zach, everything’s clear to me now.” Your lips suddenly shook as you tried your best to mask yourself, to be strong. You spent happy days with Zach before and then you would find yourself crying over some stupid issues, that was stressing.

The thing really hurt you: you heard him talking to Marcus about some bet and Marcus mentioned your name, as if they were betting on you. You didn’t expect it, mostly from your boyfriend, because you believed that Zach couldn’t do such thing and he would never do anything to hurt you.

You believed it, until he proved that you were wrong. You were having a very healthy relationship, but then you would realize that he was being a gentleman just because of a stupid and useless bet. What a shame, wasn’t it?

Zach surely cared for you, he showed his love and his interest in you. He would listen to your problems, to your thoughts, to your bland jokes. He would cheer you up, when you needed someone by your side. He would sing you to sleep whenever you felt alone or terrified of your talkative and noisy thoughts at night.

He would do anything for you and he was the perfect one because of those factors, but he just broke your trust, he played with your feelings and, most of all, he made fun of you, together with his friends.

Disappointing, right? How did he have a peaceful mind after all these months? How? You didn’t know and you didn’t even want to know.

“(Y/N), you heard Marcus’ version of things. You never heard mine!” He held your hand, but you quickly pushed him away. You noticed that he looked disappointed and unwanted. He felt rejected, because he thought that you would understand him, that you would show a little bit of your compassion, even after he hurt you.

Zach loved you because you were understanding and you never judged him when he did something wrong. You would always listen to his version of things and you were happy that you were able to talk to him of his mistakes, but in that instance? It was hard for you to listen to him, it was hard because your ears and brain were already stuffed with your negative thoughts of him, with his little white lies.

Maybe you were just jumping into conclusions, maybe Zach wasn’t really betting on you, maybe you were wrong and you felt guilty for eavesdropping, but everything hurt you. You had a heavy weight in your chest and you couldn’t swallow your pride that fast. Unluckily.

“Go home, Zach!” Little tears started running down your face, wetting your still-red and burning cheeks once again. You pushed him away, because you couldn’t stand to hear more lies from him.

“No, I am already home!” Zach protested as he took some steps forward, diminishing the distance between your bodies.

“What are you talking about?” You slightly pushed him away, but he was surely stronger and taller than you. The push didn’t even affect him and you hated him even more for that.

“(Y/N), I am already home because,” He cut himself from speaking when he grabbed your forearm and he insisted on touching your soft and warm hands. “home is whenever I am with you.

By hearing those pleasant and sweet words, you cried him a river as the weight in your chest became lighter and it was easier to deal with it. You were flattered and you felt lucky and loved, because he wasn’t giving up on you. In fact, he was fighting even more, fighting to win you back.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you and I know that I never did anything bad to hurt you.” He pulled you into a tight and warm hug as he noticed how broken and sad you were, letting you to pour your heart out.

You let his muscular arms wrap around your fragile body and you leant your head on his chest, letting him to mend your broken heart, to gather all the broken fragments of your heart.

“I’m sorry for what you’ve heard, but I think that you should listen to my version too.” He caressed your hair and played with it as he rubbed your back. You bit your lip as your tears slowly stained his varsity jacket. “Marcus’ truths aren’t my truths. Are you letting me to explain?”

“No excuses and no sugarcoated lies?” You asked him as you tried to assure yourself that talking to him would worth something.

“No excuses, no sugarcoated lies, just the truth, my truth.” Zach assured you as he pressed his lips on your forehead. “I really love you and I will never hurt you.”

Zach has always been sincere and true to you. He was a gentleman, right? Maybe he was saying the truth or maybe not, but you knew from the bottom of your heart that you loved Zach. No one and nothing could stop you from doing it, because he was your life, the love of your life.

People messes up, but there would always be a second chance for the people that we loved.

“I love you too, Zach,” You finally said after a long and peaceful silence. You realized how important Zach was for you and you couldn’t lose him just like that. “so much.” You added with a smiled and you wrapped your arms around him as he hugged you tighter. You adored the warmth that his body emanated, while he felt lucky and relieved that you gave him a second chance. You were finally thankful to get back home, after a long and tiring day of crying.

After all, Zach was your home too and he would always be the one you would come home to, no matter what happened.

Flesh/Brett Talbot Smut

Originally posted by holyhalehottness

Most of these are taken from my Wattpad account! (Twtrash01)

Send me requests for the following Fandoms: Teenwolf, Vampire Diaries, Dolantwins, OUAT(Peter Pan, Robbie Kay, Supernatural, Suicide Squad, The 100. Basically I’ll write for any fandom. I’ll write non-smut as well. Be specific in what you want! *I DON’T OWN ANY GIFS*

Request:  Could you do a Brett Talbot smut with the song Flesh by Simon Curtis? Please ❤

Keep reading

It's a Date (Grayson Dolan)

warning: sad in the beginning :( also some hateful comments

“Grayson I love you!” “Grayson marry me.” “Grayson please notice me!” “Grayson over here!“  

The girls continued to scream things at my boyfriend and his twin brother Ethan. I guess I can expect that dating one half of the famous Dolan Twins. His fans weren’t exactly accepting either. I opened instagram and looked at the recent photo I posted a week ago.

I started to read all the comments underneath.

username: you’re so ugly

username 1: leave Grayson alone.

username 2: I love Grayson but why did he choose you?

username 3: I don’t ship this at all, sorry not sorry.

username 4: please go kys

username 5: you don’t deserve Grayson, you’re just using him for fame.

username 6: stop rubbing it in our faces bitch.

Not all the comments were horrible, but a majority of them were. They made me feel horrible about myself, telling me how much I didn’t deserve to be with Grayson. This was why I was currently at home watching the Teen Choice Awards instead of attending with him. All the hate was tearing us apart.

"perfect.” I said feeling a tear fall down my cheek.

Grayson and Ethan had just won choice male web star. I was happy for them, I really was but that meant they were about to get even more popular and with more popularity came more mean girls. I turned the tv off, curling up into a ball and letting out all the tears i’d been holding back. My phone started ringing, Grayson’s name appearing on the caller ID. I wiped the tears before answering.

“hey babe.” I said trying my best to sound happy.

Grayson knew me better than that though.

“were you crying?” He asked his voiced laced with concern.  

“just really happy for you guys.” I said covering my hurt voice.

“thanks babe.” Grayson said thankfully dropping it.

Whenever Grayson and I talked about all the hate we always ended up fighting with each other. 

“so after the show, how about I drop by and we can cuddle and watch a movie?” Grayson said.

I took a deep breath knowing very well I wasn’t prepared to see him tonight.

“Isn’t there some after party you famous people go to?” I said not meaning for it to sound as rude as it did.

“well yeah there are after parties but i’d rather spend time with my girlfriend, who doesn’t sound like she wants to spend time with me at all.” Grayson said his voice getting lower.

I could tell that he was mad, but so was I. I was mad that he knew about the hate and did nothing about it. What could he do though? These were his fans he worked hard to gain them and he didn’t want to lose them by telling them off.

“tonight isn’t a good night that’s all.” I said in between shaky breaths.

I could feel tears swirling in my eyes.

“you’re being ridiculous y/n.” Grayson huffed.

“I’m being ridiculous? Grayson I just don’t want to hang out tonight okay.” I said raising my voice a little bit now.

I feel like we aren’t even together anymore. We don’t hang out much anymore and when we do, all we do is fight. I’m tired of it.” Grayson says slowly like he was afraid too.

His words broke my heart but I knew he was right.

“then maybe we shouldn’t be together.” I said letting the tears fall.

don’t say that y/n.” Grayson said his voice cracking.

I knew that Grayson and I could not keep going on like this. I knew what I needed to do and it killed me. I loved Grayson. I loved him so much but I was hurting us both by staying with him.

“Grayson I love you so much, but we can’t keep going on like this. I need time, you need to focus on your videos it would be easier if I just stayed away. Goodbye Grayson.” I said hanging up before he could protest.

I knew this was the right thing to do. Or was it? I threw my phone across the room breaking down even more now. I got up and started trashing my room, letting out all the anger and frustration I’ve been holding back. My mom ran in taking me in her arms.

“it hurts so bad.” I told my mom crying in her arms.

“I know sweetheart I know.” My mom said stroking my hair.

I cried in her arms for about a good hour and a half. There was a knock on our door, breaking me from my crying. My mom ran downstairs and soon a somber looking Grayson was standing in my doorway.

“what are you doing here? Your supposed to be at the award show." I said standing up.

"I don’t care about some stupid award, I care about you.” Grayson said a tear falling down his cheek.

“Grayson.” I started but he quickly cut me off.

“no you’re going to let me talk now. You’re right it would be easier if you stayed away but I don’t want you too. I love you. Nothing you or anybody else says is going to change that. Tell me how to fix this.” Grayson said coming over.

He took my hands in his and made me look at him.

“I want to fix this.” Grayson begged.

I didn’t know if it could be fixed and that scared me more than anything.

“Grayson you can’t make your fans not hate me.” I said crying a little more.

Grayson took a deep breath and looked at me. Then he left. He just left me there. I sat back down on the floor continuing my cry. About two hours later my phone lit up telling me the Dolan Twins had posted a video. It was probably a thank you video but I couldn’t fight this urge to see him even if it was behind a computer screen. I clicked on the video it was simply titled "we need to talk”

“you should watch that.” A voice said from the doorway.

I looked up and Grayson was standing there with a tear stained face. I clicked play and the video started playing. It was Grayson and Ethan just sitting there. Grayson had a few tears rolling down his cheeks. Ethan starts talking.

“hey guys Grayson is a little upset right now and so am I. We love you guys more than anything and we will NEVER be able to thank you guys enough for all you have done for us but we need to talk.”

Grayson starts talking now.

we can’t stay single forever guys and I was really happy with my girlfriend but the hate that some of you were sending her way caused her to pull away from our relationship. It hurts alot that my fans can’t love someone that I love. I want you guys to understand that we are against bullying and it isn’t okay for our fans to go against something we believe so strongly in. I just needed you guys to hear me out. If you did hate on her and are feeling guilty I’m sure she’d accept an apology. No matter what we will always love you guys but right now I need you guys to love and support me.”

The video ended just like that and I had tears in my eyes. I looked up at Grayson who was just standing there biting his lip nervously. I went on instagram and pulled up a random selfie.

I started to read all the comments.

username: you are so beautiful!

username1: we had no right to hate you I’m so sorry!

username2: please get back with Grayson you deserve him!

username3: I should have never said hurtful things to you. I guess I can’t really call myself a Dolan Twin fan if I was bullying you.

username4: I’m so happy for you I love you so much!

username5: I hope you can forgive us and go back with Grayson, he looks so sad without you ):

username6: we don’t deserve you, you’re such a goddess!

I couldn’t help the smile that spread to my cheeks. Grayson took a couple steps forward taking my phone out of my hands. I don’t look at him right away. He cups my cheek with his hand making me look at him.

“did I fix it?” He asks biting his lip again.

I don’t know how I got so incredibly lucky to have the sweetest boy on earth.

“well you fixed that issue, but.” I started holding in a laugh.

“but what? I will do anything.” Grayson says panicking.

“but my lips kind of hurt alittle bit, do you think you can fix that too?” I asked smirking.

Grayson leans down and gives me a long kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him closer if that was even possible. He pulls away and I see his beautiful smile again. He pulls out his phone taking a picture of us.

“what are you doing?” I asked him laughing.

“well I have to tell my fans that there apologies worked.” Grayson says laughing.

I kissed his cheek looking in his eyes.

“I really do love you Grayson and I’m sorry I ruined the Teen Choice Awards for you. I’m so proud of you guys though you deserve it.” I said feeling ashamed of myself.

“you didn’t ruin anything, but next time I’d like you to be my date.” He smiles cheekily.

“it’s a date then.” I said smiling.

a stroke of fuck | five {final}

pairing: sehun x reader, jongin x reader, yixing x reader, baekhyun x reader
genre: fuckboy!au, college!au, smut, angst, fluff, series
summary: there was good in the world to balance the bad, but when it comes to boys are they good for anything except breaking hearts and causing trouble?

pt.1 / pt.2 / pt.3 / pt.4 / pt.5

A/N: and so after a 2 week roller coaster thiS BINCH IS ENDING!!! this entire series was hyped up so much SO THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO READ IT AND LIKED IT!!!! Now ill be back to updating the merciless flaw THEN THE SUGAR DADDY AU BUT I JUST WANNA SAY I LOVE YOU ALL FOR LIKING THIS + also I got really lazy about halfway through so i did a time jump cos it would have been boring if i didnt

Originally posted by luedeer

Warm air violently pushed his hair, forcing it out of his flushed face. His mouth was wide open, desperately gulping down air to provide him with enough energy to keep his sprint going. 

His feet roughly pushed against the concrete floor, it was like his legs wouldn’t let him stop at this point. It was difficult not to notice the speed at which he was running, people’s heads turned to watch him as he barely dodged bodies stood in his way. If his heart wasn’t pounding so hard, if his mind wasn’t so persistent at worrying him, he would have slowed down. 

As he came to the edge of the road, he instantly stopped. With quick turns of his head, he spotted fast moving cars turning around the corner, only delaying him further. The pulsing and throbbing of his blood vessels in his fingers, and in his veins along his arm made him itch in discomfort. 

Hissing in frustration, he rubbed at his forearms in attempts to stop his veins from protruding to serve as a distraction from the obstruction hindering him from running across the road. He tapped his foot on the ground in impatience and once the road was clear, he ran.

The wind slapped against his face, surely ruining his good looks but he didn’t care. There was only one thing on his mind.

He was late.

Keep reading


Someday I’m gonna let this go I’m never going to let this go, but this is another reason Mary’s behavior was so jarring in s12. Look how gentle she is in Dean’s memories. I know Dean’s not four anymore, but at some point, if Mary accepted that this was her child, she couldn’t dredge up any parental feelings or care? No signs of affection at all? Not even after she watched him in tears once, and almost in tears another time? After she heard him say he was never a child? After she listened to him pouring out his heart and telling her how painful his life was? I just… I can’t accept it. 

You: Why do you ship Twilight Princess Zelink? They barely even speak to one another.

What I say: Oh, you know! It’s just for fun, like always. I like them both individually and it’s fun to imagine them together.

The truth: Look, buddy. Ocarina of Time freaking ripped my heart out, Majora’s Mask threw it on the ground, and that Hero’s Shade side quest stomped all over it. They were too young and pure to ship in Wind Waker and Twilight Princess is the only other direct sequel and I demand to have SOMETHING after all that tear jerking nonsense, okay?

maybalwild  asked:

Hey! I loved your Drunk RFA headcanon so maybe I can ask a similar headcanon? How about RFA + Saeran had a fight with MC and she break up with them. And one day they are so sad and drink a LOT and call her in the phone apologizing and ask her to come back? Sorry if this is confusing, my english isn't so good. Thank u

Aw thank you for liking my work!! also your english is fantastic don’t worry ^^ 

RFA + Saeran Breakup 


  • “You know what Yoosung I’m fed up with you comparing me to Rika all the time, it hurts you know, do you even know that?! You probably don’t care. I love you.. but I guess you only need Rika. Y-you know what I’m done, we’re over”
  • The words echo through Yoosung’s mind as he chugs another beer down
  • He loves her, he hell is sure of it but he made a grave mistake
  • He knows she loathed being compared to Rika but he still is a fool to keep doing it
  • Yoosung remembers all the times she made him happy, all the times they laughed, cooked together, held hands, held her waist as she sits on his lap while he plays LOLOL
  • He misses it all
  • Wet tears burned his eyes and he didn’t even try to stop them, he was too tired
  • He felt his phone around his pocket and absentmindedly called MC, wanting to hear her voice, wanting to feel her presence even if it was just her voice
  • “Hello?”
  • “Oh God you picked up, I’m- I’m so sorry MC! I love you I really do, I was stupid I was so so stupid MC I need you. I need you, my princess please MC I love you”
  • “Yoosung are you drunk right now”
  • Her voice made him smile but the reality of what he’s doing right now made him feel embarassed
  • “I’m sorry…”
  • MC sighed
  • “I’m sorry for hurting your feelings yoosung, tell you what get yourself sobered, come over here and let’s have a talk, I-I miss you”
  • “Y-yes! yes MC i’ll do just that! I’ll do everything just to have you in my arms again, I love you so much”


  • Zen did it, he knows the weight of the situation and he blew it, god was he really this stupid?
  • “Zen I know you have a career to take care of and you know I support you but can’t you atleast give me some of your time! You barely even look at me nowadays and you’ve been smoking and drinking nonstop. Take care of yourself!”
  • “Look MC I’m tired, can’t you just sleep already”
  • “No! Zen I love you, if you keep being like this to me and to yourself you’ll break us apart”
  • “I’m the one breaking us apart? You’re the one here being all clingy and shit. If you truly do support me then do me a favor and just not talk to me for a while”
  • “And for how long? a day? a month? Why don’t we just call this off. You don’t even care about me”
  • Zen punched the wall as he felt something red and dripping running along his knuckles
  • He couldn’t even feel it, he was just so numb
  • How could he treat his girl this way??
  • How could he be such an awful man to her when all she ever done was support him and give him all the love she can give to anyone
  • He was a person of mistakes, an ugly, horrible person and he knows it, his parents know it
  • Situations like this makes him remember the way she complimets him and cheers him on, telling him that he’s the most beautiful guy in the world, both in and out
  • God did he miss her
  • It wasn’t a surprise that by the next minute he’s ringing her 
  • “Zen look I don’t really feel like talki-”
  • “Please MC hear me out..”
  • “I love you okay? I love you so godamn much and I know what I did was wrong. I know you only wanted the best for me and I know my career has been taking its toll on you. You’ve made that sacrifice for me from the beginning and I was stupid to take it for granted! I-I’m so stupid MC….. I promise I will be the best for you, i promise to give you the attention you deserve. I’ll even quit my career for you! I can work it out with my director, I’ll tell them that it’s time for me to stop and-”
  • “NO” MC shouted through the phone
  • “Zen you don’t have to, acting is your life. Let’s talk this out in person and when you’re sober okay?”
  • “How do you know i’m drunk?”
  • “I know my love enough, let’s meet tomorrow”
  • “Yes please”


  • “Are you kidding me? are you actually kidding me right now Jaehee? You’re disgusting! I never would beliieve you’d do something like this. i thought you were different!”
  • Jahee also honestly couldnt believe she would do such a thing
  • She had just cheated on MC.
  • A coworker of hers, her lips locked around her own and MC stepped right straight into the scene
  • she tried to cover it up but it was too late, she had been caught
  • “MC I-”
  • “Save it Jaehee, we’re over”
  • God what have I done
  • Jaehee felt so disgusted with herself, so mad that she submitted a full resignation
  • Even Jumin was surprised and disappointed of her actions
  • Jaehee then decided to drink, trying to reminisce the last remaining laughter she and MC sharing, sobbing really really loudly
  • She then decided to call MC, wanting her back even though she knows the answer
  • She atleast need to her an apology, Mc deserved an apology and she deserved someone better for her
  • “Jaehee?”
  • “MC I’m so sorry. I’m so disgusting and you were right. I love you so much and I just need you back MC”
  • “Jaehee you know what you’ve done”
  • “I know and ugh im stupid to even ask for you to be mine again but I tried didnt I? You always told me to try. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, you deserved an apology”
  • “Yes and I forgive you, just know that I can’t anymore, not after what you did”
  • “I understand…. I hope you find someone who will treat you right, MC. Just know that i will always love you”
  • Goodbye


  • Jumin was currently at the restaurant MC was working at
  • A wine bottle or five strewn across his table
  • But MC didn’t see him, she was quite far to be honest
  • And Jumin requested that he be seated the farthest where he can only observe 
  • “Ugh MC why are you this clumsy? You ruined a deal with my business partner”
  • “I’m so sorry Jumin I was only trying to help”
  • “Help? By spilling coffee all over my suit? Outrageous!”
  • “I’m so sorry”
  • “Why am I with someone who turns me into a fool infront of work”
  • “Jumin I am so so sorry”
  • “Sorry won’t cut it, I need to be alone”
  • MC had only been giving Jumin his coffee when she accidentally spilled it on him, landing him a decline in his proposal
  • He was enraged but not as much as MC left the next day, leaving his penhouse dark and empty, MC had taken all of her belongings with her
  • Something in Jumin broke as he began to shout at himself that echoes throughout his home, or what used to be. MC was his home 
  • He was feeling lonely yet numb at the same time, he was feeling a whirl of bad emotions as he observes MC laughing with a male co-worker of hers
  • mine
  • He brought out his phone as he shamelessly dialed MC’s number
  • “Hello?”
  • Jumin’s word caught in his throat as he found it completely foolish to be scolding her at this time
  • His hard gaze turned sad as he felt his tears against his cheeks
  • “I’m sorry”
  • “Jumin..”
  • Their eyes locked and MC gasped at the sight before her
  • “What are you doing here? How much did you drink”
  • “It doesn’t matter, I’m sorry”
  • “Your intentions were pure, instead, I took it harshly and I have never felt so much hatred for myself. You are my light MC and without you I am nothing. Without you I am just this emotionless shell of a corporate heir. You brought out these feelings in me and I have never treasured anyone as I have treasured you. You are my home, you are my family and I will forever hold this in my guilt. I love you”
  • “Jumin I’m sorry too”
  • “Now if you would be willing to come in my arms again you would make me the happiest man”
  • “Of course”
  • MC ran straight at him and gave him the tightest hug
  • “I am still correct though. You do turn me into a fool”
  • “Hm?”
  • “A fool in love with you”


  • Seven couldn’t concentrate, he couldn’t at all
  • Why would he, when he had just cheated on his most precious girl
  • But he was under a powerful drug
  • His agency thought it would be a good punishment to have him aroused towards a different girl for making a mistake in his work
  • But he felt so so guilty. It made him hate himself more
  • So when MC found out, she left and he couldn’t utter the words he wanted to say
  • He wanted to say he loves her and that it was a mistake. A horrible horrible mistake
  • And that it wasn’t his fault, he wanted to tell her that he was sorry but he couldn’t
  • No words came out of his mouth, only silent pleas to stay that never really caught MC’s ears
  • Maybe at that time he was thinking of how much he didn’t deserve MC and that it was a good opportunity for her to leave him. To be free so that she wouldn’t experience the pain of being with him
  • But Seven regrets it
  • He regrets it all
  • He needed MC back. She was the one who brought him life, happiness. She was all he needed and he let her slip away from his fingers
  • He felt his growing stupidity as he clutched at his chest, trying to make the pain go away as he watched a CCTV footage of MC at her home.
  • He had installed a camera in her living room for safety purposes and he didn’t want to barge in her privacy but he needed her. He needed to see that she was safe. He needed to see an evidence of her existing
  • With shaky hands, Saeyoung reached for his phone and called MC
  • Seeing MC grab hers, his heart was already at his throat
  • And when she answered the call, the first thing she heard were professions of love
  • “MC I love you I love you I love you I love you” 
  • “I… don’t know Saeyoung, after what you’ve done I don’t think I can believe that anymore”
  • He can see her shivering as she silently cried
  • “No no you don’t understand it was because of the agency! I was forced! please hear me out I… i don’t want to lose you. I will fight. I will fight for your love and I will do whatever it takes for you to come back to me please I love you too much. My heart is just about to burst from all this love so please.. please hear me out”
  • “Only just about?”
  • “Huh?” 
  • “Your heart is only just about to burst? Mine already did for you” 
  • MC chuckled
  • She fricking chuckled
  • Saeyoung could feel tears or relief as he felt his chest unclogging
  • “I’ll head over straight there and we’ll talk okay?”
  • “I’ll be waiting, Saeyoung”
  • He kissed his computer with her footage as he readied his car


  • Saeran had said some hurtful things
  • Very hurtful things
  • He was so mad, so so mad at himself
  • MC, the girl who’s always by his side, the girl who was willing to go through his recovery now left him
  • He felt so broken and was shaking
  • Saeyoung was trying to calm him down but he couldn’t, not when he just felt the light being sucked out of his life
  • And his comforting didn’t feel like MC’s, not at all
  • Hers was gentle and delicate and her scent was intoxicating, enough to put him into a calm oblivion
  • But she’s not here anymore, there was no one to calm him through the rage of his night terrors, no one to hold him close as she whispers soothing words into his ear
  • No body to grasp unto when he couldn’t breathe and couldn’t stop the tears from flowing
  • Her hugs were the best, so kind, so comforting, so loving
  • But she’s gone
  • “I messed up Saeyoung, I messed up this one thing that keeps me going”
  • “Call her, go to her. I can’t stand seeing you like this”
  • “She wouldn’t want to be with me anymore, I messed up I messed up”
  • Saeran was now rocking back and forth as he hugs his body closer
  • Feel her warmth, feel her warmth
  • “Yes hello MC, yes he’s here. Alright I’ll give the phone to him”
  • Saeran’s eyes snapped to his brother as he gave him the hardest look he could muster.
  • But he still took the phone anyways
  • “I’ll be right there Saeran wait for me! I’ll be there” 
  • He heard MC panting and he was dumbfounded
  • She’ll come back? Doesn’t she hate him?
  • “MC… I love you”
  • “I love you too… so so much. Wait for me a little longer okay?”
  • The twins heard the door open as they found MC on her phone, still panting
  • She went straight into Saeran’s arms as she stroked his hair and kissed his forehead
  • “I’m so sorry MC”
  • “I”m sorry too Saeran
  • “Don’t ever leave me”
  • “I’ll always be with you”

Pairing: Nalu

Rating: K+

Genre: Friendship and romance

Summary: The tiny stuffed toy was her treasure - a little demon that had helped her through good times and bad. And suddenly there he was, breathing, walking, talking, emoting. And asking for a kiss. 

Notes: This drabble poured out as soon as I laid eyes on <<this>> wonderful art by @liku-bears!

It was probably the only really meaningful gift from her father in recent times. It wasn’t much — just a tiny little demon plushie. It could have easily been lost in thousands of other dresses and jewellery that he had also sponsored for her.

Had it not been for the fact the toy was a small reminder of happier times. And of her parents’ love.

One of her fondest childhood memories were of when they would all cuddle together in bed while her mother told stories. In particular, one of a tiny demon that saved lost little kids, only to be misunderstood by the children’s parents when they saw him with them. Her father would supply the dialogues for the angry people, while her mother would do those for the little children and the demon.

Lucy felt for the demon, and protested, insisting that she would have done her best to protect it had she had the chance. Her mother had been so pleased with the suggestion, that she would weave a Lucy into the story to do just that - and she would get to do her own dialogues. And they would go on and on until Jude reminded them of it being past bedtime.

Storytime had been her favourite way to spend time with her family - it was the one time her father and mother could take a break from their royal duties and spend time with her.

Her mother’s sudden loss had been very hard on her and her father, and his subsequent attempts to cope had really dented their relationship. Lucy, now at sixteen years, still couldn’t remember the last time she and her father had really spoken.

The plushie, gifted to her on her tenth birthday, two years after losing her mother, was a small reminder that despite all the evidence that went against it, her father really did care.

She had taken extremely good care of the soft toy ever since. It had a special place beside her pillow at night-time and was the last thing she saw when she went to bed and the first when she woke up. She would talk to it every day — share tales of her day, people she met, things she learnt. She would laugh with it and cry holding it. It was her closest friend, and had been for years now.

Even if it never had it replied back.

Not till right now anyway.

Lucy, the ever graceful celestial princess of Magnolia, fell rather clumsily on her bum when it — he — suddenly spoke.

“Woah, there! You okay?” came the tiny voice again, as the now animated toy (person?) leaned over the bed to ensure she was okay.

“Y-y-you’re talking!”

“Hell yeah I am!” he grinned. “Finally.”

“B-b-but you’re a toy!”

“Oi, I’m a demon!“ His face tilted to one side. "And you’ve always told me you’re a polite person. Lies!”

Lucy blinked disbelievingly, as the little toy crossed his arms and huffed.

She crawled on her knees back to the edge of her bed to peek at the toy, see for herself if he really was…real.

And while the demon kept his back to her, pouting sulkily, she brought a finger to poke him in the side.

“Hey,” he warned.


“Hey!” His back still faced her.


“Would you— ” he got cut off as Lucy — in a bid to try and confirm once more that felt had indeed given way to flesh — unintentionally began tickling him.

“S-sorry,” she said, not really that sorry. His laughter was heart-warming.

“Oh, you’re gonna pay,” he said, once he’d caught his breath.

“And what are you going to do about it?” Lucy challenged.

He pouted again and Lucy couldn’t help but giggle.

“I didn’t intend to tickle you, if that helps,” she added.

“You’re mean, Luce,” he grumbled.

Lucy raised an eyebrow. “Luce?”

“Well yeah, that’s what I’ve always called you,” he said, rolling away to make room for Lucy to climb and sit on her bed.

“You were listening the whole time?” she asked in wonder.

“Yup,” he replied.

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