will still beat the shit out of you

Dylann ?fingering? (the author isn’t sure if there’s more fingering or eating out so yeah) you while Eric watches part 2

this is shit but I don’t have time to beat myself up for my writing, need to feed my bunny now I DIDNT PROOFREAD ANYTHING


You had agreed to do this, you wanted to do this. It still felt odd though. Dylan was very sweet and considerate. After laying you down on the bed he let his hands slowly roam your body while he left kisses down your neck. You kept your eyes closed because you couldn’t look at Eric for now. This was still an unfamiliar situation after all.

“Off.”

Dylan mumbled against your delicate throat and placed an innocent kiss there before he broke away to help you pull off your sweater. You raised your torso slightly and felt goose bumps spread across your skin as soon as the fabric was gone. It was a little bit chilly inside of here. You laid back down onto your back and made yourself comfortable in the cool sheets. Dylan’s lips began to suck immediately on the newly revealed skin and you decided to be brave, opening your eyes and turning your head to look at Eric.

His fingers were dancing around the armrests of his chair but as soon as your eyes met his you could see him gripping the rests harder. He was tensed, his chest heaving rapidly. You kind of liked the way his eyes bored into you, the way he watched intensly while Dylan got rid of your clothes.

“Everything’s alright baby.”

Dylan whispered, trying to calm you and you felt his clever fingers opening the clasp of your bra. You closed your eyes again and shivered slightly when he pulled your bra off and let it drop to the floor. Your brain screamed to cover yourself but you fought against that instinct and kept your hands down. You couldn’t see him but you could hear Eric sucking in a breath, it made you giggle slightly. Dylan’s pace increased, he seemed to become impatient as he opened your zipper with his hands while his lips sucked one of your soft nipples into his mouth and he rolled it around with his tongue.

You moaned softly and raised your hips so he could pull your pants off. Dylan pulled your jeans down to your knees, kissing both of your thighs softly before he pulled them down completely. You felt a little bit self-concious to only be in your panties in front of Eric but that feeling quickly vanished as soon as Dylan’s fingers hooked themselves underneath either side of your panties and pulled the little piece of velvet down too. You looked at him and smiled.

“Won’t you look at that. Someone’s enjoying themself.”

Dylan teased and traced his fingers over your naked legs. You giggled and spread your thighs for him to move in between.

“Touch yourself.”

Dylan rasped and you swallowed hard. You knew that he was likely making a show for Eric but you couldn’t care less and obeyed him. Your hands slid down your stomach and over your lower belly before you gently let your fingers run up and down your pussy. You looked into Dylan’s eyes while you thumbed at your clit, a small moan escaping your lips. It did seem to have a certain effect on Eric because you could have sworn to hear him groan quietly and it was obvious that Dylan didn’t want you to get off by yourself, again this was all just show and it didn’t surprise you when he snatched your fingers away after merely seconds. You watched as he raised your hand to his mouth and placed a sweet kiss to the back of your hand before his tongue lapped at your digits.

You blushed and began to squirm on the bed. You were more than happy when Dylan slid down your body and settled between your legs. He left kisses on the insides of your thighs, his soft lips dragging up and down your sensitive skin. You loved and hated it at the same time when he teased you. Part of you enjoyed that he took his time and the control about what he’d give you and when he would give it to you but the other part hated it because it was downright torture. It was a sweet torture but still painful.

You grasped his hair and tugged with an indignant squeak. Dylan smiled and chuckled but had mercy with you. His hot breath lingered only one second against your wet pussy before he sunk down and placed a long lick form bottom to top. You opened your eyes and looked at Eric. He leant forward in his chair until his elbows rested on his knees and sucked in a breath. You smiled at him shyly and Eric returned a sly grin before his tongue darted out to lick his lips. You watched in awe as he stood up from his chair and slowly walked towards you.

You wanted to monitor what he was doing but Dylan had a wicked tongue and your eyes fluttered shut when his lips closed around your clit and you felt one of his fingers slowly circling your entrance. Dylan hooked both of your legs behind his shoulders to gain better access, massaging your clit with his strong tongue while his index finger pushed inside of you. You gasped and wrapped your legs around his neck, as if you were afraid that he’d suddenly pull away.

You opened your eyes when you heard rapid breathing next to your ear. Eric was now squatting in front of your face, his fingers darted out to caress your cheek while he studied you facial expressions as Dylan pushed another fingers into you.

“Don’t you dare kiss me.”

You choked, distracted by the cruel way Dylan’s fingers curled and stroked inside of you. Eric only smiled at you and chuckled at the way you tried to retreat from him without sliding away from Dylan.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I don’t intend to kiss you.”

He said and you held your breath as his hand slid down your cheek and came to cup your breast. You couldn’t even protest before Eric bent down to swirl his tongue around your nipple.

“Dylan, tell him to stop.”

You whimpered but your boyfriend just moaned his consent and grasped one of your hands, pinning it down against your hip so that he still had a tight grip on you while you wriggled and squirmed. You gasped when Eric’s mouth let go of your right nipple, a string of saliva connecting to his mouth before he turned to your left nipple and repeated the procedure.

You bucked your hips when Eric grazed his teeth over your nipple while Dylan gently nibbled at your clit with his lips. It was as if they had arranged to do that at the same, great timing indeed. You closed your eyes but a hand grabbed a fistful of your hair and gently pulled your head up from the matress.

“No.”

You almost winced upon hearing Eric’s voice and looked up at him.

“Don’t close your eyes again.”

Eric said intently and it sounded like a warning. He stroked over your hair and you swallowed but were eager to please and obeyed. It felt way to good to keep your eyes open, Dylan’s fingers pumping in and out of you, always eager to stroke against that special spot while his hot mouth was attatched to your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue over the little nub.

Eric moaned lightly and you whimpered in response, trying so hard to keep your eyes open for him to look at you. Dylan was slowly building you up to a steady and strong orgasm. You grasped his soft locks with both of your hands while Eric kind of consoled you with quiet whispers and soft strokes and you arched your back while both of them held you down.

You bit your lip and moaned when you came around Dylan’s fingers, relentlessly pounding you through your high. It felt magical and you loved the way Eric’s hand stroked over your face, his eyes watching you with interest while one of his hands was cleary stroking something else that you could not see.

Dylan placed a few feather light licks against your pussy and sucked your oversenstive clit into his hot mouth for the last time before he let go of you. You whimpered quietly and took deep breaths before you smiled.

“As long as we are not turning this into a threesome we can gladly do this again.”

You joked and looked up at Eric who shot Dylan another strange look like he had before this had happend.

“About that…”

Dylan rasped and you gulped while you watched him taking of his shirt.

“You can’t be serious.”

You said and looked at Eric again, who raised an eyebrow with a devilish grin.

“We just proofed to have the best ideas and this is probably the best sweetheart.”

He said and stood up, walking to stand behind you and you watched as he dragged his zipper down. Dylan unbuckled his belt and you slowly spread your thighs again. You might as well go for this.

Maybe I should clarify something: my experience with Neo-Nazis is not, in fact, limited to the internet.

I happen to have been raised around several white men and women who spent a good chunk of their adult lives in prison. Many of them joined white supremacist gangs during this time. They raised their kids -my friends at that time- to be white supremacists. They had swastikas hanging in their living rooms and would talk openly about beating up or killing racial minorities (but ofc they said slurs instead). I didnt say anything at the the because I was 11-13 years old and didn’t really know any better; and these men scared me. This is a meth town in Texas, where it’s expected everyone owns a gun and is ready to use it- I once saw one of them beat the shit out of a 16yo and shove a shotgun in his face.

So that’s what I think when I think “Neo-Nazis”, not these “alt right” pussies. So I know that they -and their kids- were still capable of spending time with nonwhite people and pretending to see them as humans, and then talk about how “the South would rise again” and they would “own them n*****s” and other shit I don’t care to remember.

And let me tell you: no amount of calm, rational discussion will sway these people. Ever. If you were to challenge their views they would eventually resort to violence to shut you up; if you tried to “rise above” all that would happen is they’d laugh you down and call you a pussy and continue believing, speaking, and yes, acting on their beliefs.

When I say “peaceful resistance won’t stop Neo-Nazis” it’s not just a philosophy I read in some book. It’s my lived experience.

why are non-offensive moves even an option in pokemon?? im here to kick ass. have fun wasting a turn with your swords dance mirror shield whatever the fuck while i beat the shit out of you. hope you can still enjoy that raised sp attack stat in poke-hell

A few weeks ago, I pretty much begged you all to put aside your issues with Corbyn and vote Labour anyway. I explained that Theresa May was confident of an increased majority in the Commons and that it was vital to ensure that Labour isn’t wiped out altogether.

Since then, a number of new facts have become clear:

(1) Jeremy Corbyn is a much better politician than many of us expected and frankly, it won’t be a hardship for me to vote for a party led by him. For all the fuck-ups, disappointments and problems over the last 18 months, he is by far the most convincing human being out of all the party leaders.

(2) Theresa May is shit. Not just shit in the sense that all Tories are shit - that kind of narrow self-interested completely unsympathetic way. She’s also downright fucking incompetent, in a way that is completely unprecedented. She doesn’t know what her policies are from one week to the next. She can’t handle a Paxman interview or a debate with Corbyn. Even Cameron managed to get something from EU negotiations. She will get us nothing.

(3) Tim Farron is not someone that any left or centre-left voter should be willing to support. He is homophobic, pro-life and pro-fox hunting. He will make a deal with anyone because that’s all the Liberal Democrats can ever aspire to. If they genuinely cared about British voters and not their own careers, they would get out of the fucking way.

(4) Whilst a Tory victory is still looking very likely, Theresa May might not be getting the massively increased majority she was hoping for, because of her aforementioned shitness.

So in light of these new facts… I am still telling you to vote Labour UNLESS you are absolutely sure that another party has a better chance of beating the Tories in your area. Don’t bother with those pointless apps or charts going around to determine this - go to Wikipedia, type in the name of your constituency and check out who came first and second in 2015. This will tell you who you need to vote for to do most damage to the Tories. In the majority of places in England and Wales, that means voting Labour.

People are watching these election debates tonight and saying “oh Tim Farron came off better than I thought” and “Caroline Lucas is good isn’t she?” It doesn’t matter, because those parties don’t matter in the vast majority of constituencies. We cannot let this useless fish turd of a woman continue with a bigger majority, just because we wished Corbyn had spent less time making jam and more time taking the EU referendum seriously.

Get out there on 8th June and vote Labour. Please.

anonymous asked:

why can't every NHL chirp be 'fucking pigeon'? thats so much easier than homophobic shit

good NHL chirps:

  • I’ll let you pick the hand i beat the fuck out of you with
  • go dye your hair
  • milk drinker
  • get you and your turtleneck out of here, can;t believe you still wear those
  • *pigeon coos*
  • Who are you? Turn around! (implying to know who they are they;d have to turn around so you could read their name)
  • literally anything that isn’t a slur.

Originally posted by heckyeahreactiongifs

I’ve tried to look up if anyone else noticed this but only found one instance on Reddit… and it was only a small comment. 

IS THIS A COINCIDENCE OR IS IT JUST ME?!

- ded, very ded

Top 9 Most Fight-Able Characters in Mystic Messenger

(ranked by the likelihood of winning from least to most likely)

9. “Mary” Vanderwood, Secret Agent Murdermonster

Result: A swift and painful death

Are you shitting me? You’ll be goddamn eviscerated on the spot. Not to mention nobody will ever find your body. This is completely fucking unadvisable. DO NOT DO THIS unless you have a DEATH WISH and want to disappear from the world completely. Vanderwood is not to be messed with. They’ve killed many a worthy foe, and you will not be one of them. There’s not much else to say here. I don’t care who you are, you should not challenge Vanderwood. Say your prayers, fucker

8. Unknown/Saeran Choi, Total Edgelord

Result: Utter defeat, probably followed by torture + imprisonment

I don’t think you need me to tell you that this kid is fucking off his rocker. Let’s be real, he’s probably killed a few people, and he enjoyed every minute of it. You can bet your ass he’ll likely torture you after defeating you, too. And you know, some of you sick fucks will probably enjoy the whole damn ordeal. You’re probably the only ones who’d WANT to fight him just to have him fucking step on you. Well congratu-fucking-lations, you got what you wanted. He still beats your ass. The only reason Vanderwood beats him in this ranking is because it’s possible he’d keep you alive for fun, and some of you would enjoy that, so at least it’s a fuckin victory for somebody. Fuck.

7. Jaehee Kang, Smarter than the CEO

Result: Total annihilation + jail time

Do you see this face? This is the face of someone who has been repressing violent urges for fucking years for the sake of keeping her job. If she could snap Jumin’s neck, she would in a heartbeat. You do not want to give her a justifiable reason to unleash that utter fucking rage on your sorry ass. Did you forget she has a black belt in judo? She could beat my ass. She could beat your ass. She could beat anyone’s ass. I don’t care WHO you think you are. And after the fight? She’ll report you to the proper authorities, pick up a cup of coffee, and finish her daily tasks like nothing fucking happened. What a wild bitch. I fucking love her to death, tbh. And you know what? How dare you challenge her. She deals with enough shit in her life. I hope she beats your ass with a righteous fucking fury. Have fun in jail, dipshit.

6. God 707, Meme Lord Supreme

Result: Depends on your approach, but probably a failure

Honestly Seven’s about as fucking predictable as a lunch box full of wasps. What am I even supposed to say here? He’d probably imitate that shitty ass vine meme the first time you punch him and say “I can’t believe you’ve done this”, complete with a British accent, but when you keep hitting, it’ll confuse him. The element of surprise is probably your best bet, but you also have no fucking clue what he’ll do. He might beat the shit out of you. He might scamper away on his scrawny ass legs and proceed to hack into everything you once loved or held dear. He might lay down on the ground and let you kick the shit out of him. In the end, it depends on his mood. Is that reliable at all? Absolutely fucking not. So go for it, but I literally have no idea how it’s gonna turn out for you.

5. Zen/Hyun Ryu, A God Among Men

Result: You have a good chance of winning, but at what cost?

OK BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND LISTEN THE FUCK UP. Why is Zen higher up on the list, Nani??? you ask me, pouting, clutching your Zen body pillow(s) in agony. Zen had a bad past!! He’s not easy to fight, he was such a bad boy!! v//w//v He’s so tough and strong and he’s our knight in shining armor! Hey!! Good for you! But GUESS FUCKING WHAT!! If you’re female, he’ll probably forfeit to you immediately, unlike the barbarians before him on this list, so technically he’s easier to fight! He’d probably LET you beat the shit out of him if it made you feel better. It’s not even a fucking question of who would win if a woman challenged him, so we’re gonna move on.
Now, if you’re a GUY, he’d be more willing to square up, and my advice is go for his face. Pretty boy doesn’t like messing up his pretty mug, and if you play dirty, he’ll get scared real quick. His ponytail is a disadvantage for him, so yank it real hard. You have a better chance of beating him with perseverance, but if you let him get the upper hand, you’re deceased because he’s probably a heavy hitter. Also, you will incur the wrath of all his fangirls, and probably the angels above, and you will spend the rest of your life MISERABLE AND CURSED, so proceed with caution. If you can get away with it without anyone knowing your identity, you’re golden. Good luck, but also, why? do you even want to??

4. Jumin Han, Mistah Trussfund Kid (The CEO)

Result: Instant win, but your life will be RUINED

Honestly, I think certain RFA members would actually be very glad if someone handed Jumin’s ass to him, but good fucking luck accomplishing that without having your entire life destroyed. On a purely physical level, Jumin is no competition. He may be the tallest motherfucker around, but he’s never fought anyone before in his LIFE. You’d probably only have an issue here if you were short as shit, and even then, go for the knees, amirite? He’ll fall like a fucking oak tree, and then you can rip him a new one while he’s down. Easy peasy, right? WRONG. He’s got a horde of like 50 bodyguards that you have to sneak past or defeat first or something. And if you somehow make it to Jumin first, they’ll swarm your ass after you first start swinging and have you incapacitated in a few seconds. Are those first few swings worth it? Maybe. But he’s gonna sue your ass for everything you own. The whole world will know your name. If you don’t get jail time, you’ll wish you had. It will be an easier life than trying to live in the public. Zen and Jaehee might love you forever, though, so maybe they can pull a few favors for ya. You better pray they do. Good fuckin luck out there, champ.

3. Yoosung Kim, Small Child

Result: Victory, but with a catch

Look into this child’s eyes. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that Yoosung isn’t a fucking pansy. You can’t, can you? It’s because Yoosung is a fucking pansy. This kid would be down for the count after exactly one (1) punch. He might enjoy it a little too, which’ll be awkward as shit for both of you. HOWEVER. If you trigger his Yandere side, which is bullshit but whatever, he might put up more of a fight. How do you do this, you may ask? Insult Rika. or MC. (Probably Rika tho). Something inside him will snap, and then he’ll be trickier to handle. He’ll probably play dirty when he’s like this, so expect to get shanked or bitten or something. It doesn’t change the fact that his scrawny ass can’t fight for shit, so you’ll still probably win, but not without a few injuries yourself. Hurting Yoosung is probably the moral equivalent to kicking a puppy. If you can be ok with yourself after that, then I mean, go for it.

2. Rika, the Antichrist

Result: Certain victory, but extremely dangerous

Look, maybe I should’ve put her lower on the list considering she’s got an entire cult following her every order. But, honest to God, you would be morally obligated to fight her. Please beat the shit out of her. Physically, her scrawny ass could do nothing to stop you. She’s ruined the lives of her friends, as well as countless other people, because of her deranged and, quite frankly, selfish desires. Basically, she’s a little bitch. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but god damn, you’ll be everyone’s hero. The downside to this is that she might sick Saeran on you, which is gonna be a pain in your ass, and Yoosung might hate you forever, but I think you can live with that, right? Do us all a favor. Fight Rika.

1. Jihyun Kim/V, aka Flower Angel Sunshine Man

Result: Total Victory, but you’re basically Satan

BEFORE YOU SEND ME ANON HATE, REMEMBER: this is a list based on how likely you are to win. And V? V would let anyone beat him. He probably thinks he deserves it. He might defend himself a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. Your victory would be almost immediate. There is no catch to V. You’d just win. But you’re a fucking monster for it. And you know what? I’ll beat the shit out of you if you hurt this man. So don’t even think about it, asshole.

  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Abusive parent:</b> </b> fuck you! Fuck you fuck you fuck you! I'm ashamed you're my child i wish i could beat the shit out of you i want to hurt you so badly<p/><b>Abusive parent:</b> i still love you no matter what 💓💓💓 you're my child and we will make it through this together<p/><b>Abusive parent:</b> why are you crying??<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>
I LOVE THE NEW OMAKE AND ITS UNEXPECTED KACCHAKO VIBES

Like the way Bakugou turns around and is ready to beat the shit out of whoever is behind him

And is shook when he sees it’s Uraraka (he still swears at her cuz that’s just who he is, but still)

^^ Also the fact that Uraraka knows Bakugou’s looking for Midoriya without him having to say so

AND THE FACT THAT SHE CAN SENSE HIS FUCKING BAKURAGE AURA

(I guess it’s pretty hard to miss but SHHHH LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT)

Bakugou can’t hurt her with his stank attitude:

BECAUSE

SHE AIN’T GOING ANYWHERE Y’ALL

AND SHE CALLS HIM COOL:

(Note that the speech bubbles have a black background, which usually happens in manga when those words are important to someone.)

AND I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYONE ELSE STRAIGHT UP TELLING BAKUGOU TO HIS FACE THAT THEY THINK HE’S COOL (It’s probably happened before like with Kirishima or somebody but I seriously can’t remember it happening).

AND THIS:

SHE UNDERSTANDS HIM

AND HER GENUINE, CARING EYES

AND HIS FACE AS SHE’S TALKING TO HIM

SHOOK AF

And after the whole thing’s over, she’s all like,

And even though he’s perpetually an angry shit, her words still made Bakugou calm down:

These two are just -

GAH

imagine surviving a zombie outbreak with jungkook.

Originally posted by donewithjeon

—obviously inspired by dead days.

  • the day they announced it a pandemic jungkook rushed home from school and waited for his parents to come home; they never did.
  • he’s among the first to realise if he wants help his best bet is to go out there and find it.
  • also he’s hopeless at rationing food, so he has to get moving soon.
  • having observed the undead from his window, jungkook knows he’ll have to kill to survive, and after seeing what they’re capable of he quickly comes to terms with that fact.
  • meaning his neighbour’s beagle somehow got out on day three, so on day four he drops his dad’s bowling ball from the balcony onto the head of the zombie that killed it.
  • and after his first kill spends the day dissociating and dry-heaving.
  • when over a week has passed he packs necessities and what little food he has left and straps on a few pieces of protective gear, left over from sports he’s played over the years, opting for maximum mobility.
  • those necessities include: all the wet wipes, antiperspirant, toothbrush, toothpaste, clean shirts, soap, first aid kit, his mother’s perfume.
  • jeon jungkook, nicest smelling boy in the entire zombie apocalypse.
  • because that’s how he clings to his humanity, to the remnants of civilisation: hygiene.
  • he’ll eat actual garbage but he’s gotta feel clean while doing it.
  • everyone’s got their Thing, and that’s his.
  • anyway after the chaos of that first week a deafening silence settles in the building you live in. so when you hear one of the doors to the stairwell open, you immediately rush to the peephole to see who’s stupid enough to venture into the stairwell.
  • of course it’s jungkook.
  • you go to the same school as jungkook, and while he may not know you, he has quite the reputation himself, as far as beating almost every sporting record he set his mind to goes, except archery.
  • when he passes by you call out to him through the door and the poor boy nearly shits himself. he’s still there though, when you open the door and tell him you know him from school.
  • you let him in and, much to your surprise, he seems to recognise you, he even gets your name right on the second try.
  • you’re in the same situation as him, all alone and beginning to lose hope that help would eventually come, you had even begun preparing to leave.
  • your dad had taken the bike to work that fateful morning one week ago and now you hold up his car-keys for jungkook to see, “can you drive?”
  • “i can try,” jungkook never got the chance to pass his test, but he’s your best bet, just as you’re his.
  • and that’s how you two end up more or less driving off into the sunset together, to survive another day.
  • “wait, was it you who dropped that bowling ball on mr. evans from 81b?”
  • you’re in charge of rations, because jungkook is not to be trusted around the food and he’s not too proud to admit it.
  • he deadass wants to go live in the mountains until all this has passed and you’re like ?? i’m not starving to death jeon forget it.
  • you constantly have to remind him he’s not bear grylls.
  • which isn’t easy because he’s somehow got eagle scout level survivor skills despite only having been camping like once when he was five.
  • and honES TL Y the legs on this boy, good luck keeping up with him it’d be quicker if he carried you everywhere.
  • on that note he carries you on his back whenever you’re tired or injured.
  • and he still finds time to be childish and playful. 
  • there’s a tree in your path? you bet he’s gonna fucking climb it. passing an abandoned playground? before you can blink he’s on the jungle gym like “look at me!!!!!!”
  • will insists he’s “scouting.”
  • and it’s the little things that keep you sane. jungkook wanted to be a singer and when he feels safe has a tendency to hum and sing to himself.
  • insists he needs less sleep than you so he always takes first watch, and when you can’t sleep you coax him into singing for you.
  • just kinda vocalises his way through the lyrics he doesn’t remember, because he has no way of looking them up. and also through the sexual lyrics because welp awkward.
  • eventually you know his entire repertoire and can even make requests.
  • he exercises to stay awake. like, you wake up in the middle of the night because you think you heard a zombie groan but it’s just jungkook doing sit-ups next to you.
  • senses you stirring and starts muttering “hundred and six, hundred and seven, hundred and-” but let’s be real he only did like, eleven.
  • also otherwise doing press-ups whenever he finds a flat, uncluttered surface. where’s jeon ?? probably on the ground around here somewhere like “ah, this is tiring.”
  • and you’re like “how?? why?? you’ve only had a can of tuna to eat in two days, where do you even get the energy??”
  • “gotta stay in shape if i’m gonna keep saving your clumsy ass.”
  • he’s so apprehensive of the other survivors you cross paths with some of them genuinely thought he was mute.
  • until they try to separate the two of you because jungkook is not fucking having that no way do you wanna wrestle or what
  • imagine you get to shower for the first time in a while and jungkook insists you go first because he’ll just use all the water, so you suggest you just shower together and make the best of what little water you have.
  • can’t look you in the eyes for a while after that because he’s seen you naked now and you smell nicer than you have in weeks.
  • imagine huddling for warmth, and cuddling for comfort.
  • or patching him up after another close call.
  • you have to be the responsible one, the decisive one, but in return jungkook will be your rock, your protector, steadfast and strong, never cracking under pressure, not even the weight of the world ending can faze him when he has you to worry about.
  • it doesn’t take long for him to realise that he could never leave you behind. he’ll carry you to the literal end of the world if he has to, doesn’t matter if it kills him; he’s not facing the apocalypse without you.
  • after almost losing you once, he confesses that the way he sees it he has no reason to carry on without you. he lives and survives to protect you.
  • never whines that he’s hungry or tired, because he knows you are too. he might complain that his clothes smell, or that he hasn’t washed in a while, but whenever you ask if he’s alright the answer is always going to be that he’s “okay if you are.”
Sibling Intervention (Jasper Hale x Reader) w/Brother! Emmett

Plot: Hi I really liked your Jasper imagine so can you do another one where you’re his newborn mate, and the wolf pack are coming over to help train and him and Emmett get protective over you? Like the whole “I’m your big brother and I’m supposed to keep you away from the mutts” kinda thing lol. Thank uuuu” (requested)

Word Count: 1,275

Warnings: I think some swearing, but other than that, none.

A/N: this was really fun to make, I’m actually kinda proud if this one! Thanks to the anon that requested this! I hope you like it.

I was standing next to Jasper who was grabbing my hand and squeezing it at times to reassure me and I knew that he was trying to calm me down and it was working perfectly as I was no longer nervous or afraid.

“Well, Jasper has experience in newborns, he will teach us how to defeat them” Carlisle’s calm voice sounded through the forest, he was standing a little bit further than us facing the wolves who just came.

Silence surrounded us once again but Edward’s voice filled the empty space quickly.

“They want to know how a newborn is different than us”

Carlisle turned a little and looked at me smiling a little like if he was asking if it was okay to introduce me, I just nodded.

“Well, we happen to have one with us today” He positioned himself next to me and place a hand on my shoulder “This is (Y/N), she is Jasper’s mate, our newest member of the family, hence why her eyes are different from us but don’t worry, she is transitioning and will be just like us soon”

“They still want to know the difference, they say she looks just like us” I wasn’t even looking but I knew that Emmett was grinning on his spot; he was the one that enjoyed the most me being a newborn and having my strength.

Carlisle looked at Jasper and motioned him to continue speaking while he left to go back next to Esme; Jasper nodded and moved a little closer but still holding my hand.

“She is stronger than us; her blood is still on her tissues making her more physically powerful. Our kind is stronger on our first several months of this life, that’s why they are created” he looked at me and gave me a side smile “not in her case though” he looked again at the wolves “a newborn army doesn’t need thousands like a human army, that’s why no human army could stand against them”

The black wolf that was standing right in from of me growled, his eyes never leaving mine. Jasper noticed that so he moved to a side pushing me slightly backward but I was still close to him.

“There are two important things that you have to remember” he raised his voice a bit “First, never let them get their arms around you, they will crush you in a second” he looked around giving a warning look to our family but turned back to see the wolves “and never go for the obvious kill, they will be expecting that and you’ll lose”

He quickly turned and grabbed my hand again but left me next to Edward as he kept walking forward to the center of the forest.

“Emmett” he simply called and in a second Emmett was standing a couple of meters away from him but still facing Jasper. “Don’t hold back”

“Not in my nature” he said and grinned at Jasper before launching himself onto him but in a couple of seconds, Emmett was lying on the floor, his face facing the sky.

“Never lose focus” he cockily said while moving aside from him and coming to my side to snake his arm on my waist and pulled me closer to him. “Prepare yourself, babe, you are next”

I only smiled in anticipation, I loved wrestling, I became one of my favorite hobbies once I turned, and it just was really fun for me. Even though I knew he wasn’t completely okay with the fact that I was fighting today it was just to train, I knew he wouldn’t let me participate when the actual fight took place, so I just wanted to have fun.

Edward and Carlisle were fighting intensely, neither of them backing off; Jasper let go of me and started walking around them inspecting every movement, but at the end, Edward was the clear winner and turned to see Jasper.

“One more thing” he said and in an instant Carlisle grabbed Edward and pushed him onto the ground and I couldn’t help but laugh at this. “Never turn your back on the enemy”

Jasper made his way to the center and spoke to everyone once again.

“Okay, so now that we got the basics covered, it’s time for a real newborn to step in” He said and turned his head to look at me, giving me a cocky smile which I returned with a huge grin. I knew this was going to be extremely easy for me, but anyway it was fun. I made my way next to him, and he cupped my face with one hand and looked at me profoundly before walking away next to the rest of the family.

I turned and looked at Rosalie, bringing my hand up and pointing my fingers at her I motioned her to come with me, she slowly made her way towards me with her arms crossed against her chest.

Once she was close enough I nodded and she quickly threw two punches at me which I easily dodged them taking my opportunity to grab her arm and twisted it forcing her body to twist as well but she felt to the ground crouching in one leg and tried to make me fall with the leg that was stretched but I jumped before it could even touch me, and before my feet touched the ground I pushed my hand over her chest making her fall flat on the ground, making a small crater when she hit the ground.

“You can’t still beat me, Rose” I laughed at her while she was standing up, she just gave me a ‘fuck off’  look and made her way back to her spot.

“Emmett, your turn” Jasper called out and in a quick second I had Emmett in front of my with a shit eating grin that made me laugh.

“Please don’t you dare to hold back, big boy” I purred to him tilting my head a little. He cracked his neck just to show off but his face changed almost immediately making me furrow my eyebrows together.

“Wait a minute” he said raising a hand like stopping everything and stared into nothing as if he was thinking to himself “I’m your big brother (YN)” he suddenly stated and I couldn’t be more confused.

“Well, yeah…” I trailed off, not really sure where he was trying to say.

“I’m not supposed to encourage you into fighting, even less with the mutts” he spat and looked at me with a serious face “Goddammit, I’m your big brother!” he stated again but now shouting and I looked at the rest of the clan but they all had the same face, they were staring at Emmett with a confused grin like I was. “We are done, missy, you are going home”

In less than a second, I was thrown into his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and he was walking away from everyone.

“Wait, what the actual fuck, put me down!” I tried to wiggle out but even if I was stronger this position didn’t help me at all, and all I could do was to give up and just look back where Carlisle was standing next to Jasper shouting to Emmett.

“Emmett, bring her back, we need her!” Carlisle shouted at us.

“Sorry, I can’t hear you!” and with that, he started running with me on his back.

We are going to be siblings, you said, it will be so fun, you said” I said but the only response that I had from him was a loud laugh; I sighed, I give up.

some arkham headcanons:

  • eddie has an alarm on his bed to warn the staff that he’s gotten out of it so he can’t bug the night guard who does hourly checks/suicide watches.
  • art therapy is kind of peaceful when the joker’s not around and throwing paint down people’s drawings and ruining their creations (which has caused an untold number of fights, esp with harley, eddie and harvey.)
  • harley likes making big posters that all the rogues can contribute to. she cuts out little flowers pictures, question marks, coins, umbrellas and other rogues paraphernalia out of colored paper with her dull scissors and it makes her happy as hell when she finishes the “our arkham family” poster and it gets hung in the reception. the next time they bust out of arkham, ivy steals it for her.
  • also: FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. ok so ivy is kind of annoyed embroidery and knitting got banned bcos she liked them (thanks to, guess who, you got it the joker but also tbf a few other rogues) but she likes making friendship bracelets for harley who whines at her the whole time bcos harley doesn’t have the patience to make it herself. 
  • jonathan spends most of his time in the library, trying to sneak up on unsuspecting patients to test out new fear theories. sometimes it works and then sometimes he gets decked by harvey after scaring him and making him fall off a ladder while looking for some books on the top shelf. 
  • the only real competition is when they decide to do karoke for occupational therapy. then it becomes fucking Arkham Idol. popular songs are ‘it’s raining men’, ‘death of a bachelor’ and lots of britney spears. clayface is always accused of cheating bcos ‘hello basil u can literally turn into any celeb and just sing the song!!’ which can be pretty entertaining both for the ladies and gents if you know what i mean ;) eddie wanted to buy a buzzer and organize a panel but the arkhamites refused so he just settles for criticizing them as they walk off the make-shift stage in the rec room and maybe getting a chair thrown at him. 
  • therapy is only good for roasting each other. god forbid anyone try to get any actual healing from it, except maybe harley, but even she isn’t safe from being torn to shreds by the rogues. on time freeze decided to tell a cute story about when him and nora were first dating and you know how the rogues responded? they made fun of him, like ‘goddamn victor no wonder she went and tried to die on you’. he’s learned to keep his mouth shut from now on but still secretly wants to turn half the rogues gallery into popsicles.
  • if a holiday crosses over with a gotham rogues gimmick - god help you. ivy is fucking intense on earth day. she’ll straight up scream at you for an hour if you put something recyclable in the garbage. better watch ur fucking back on halloween when jon is around, he’s probably rigged the vents to pump out fear toxin and some shit. christmas is prime break-out time for mr. freeze.
  • harvey can either make ur life in arkham heaven or hell. he’ll either have your back, beat up some punks disrespecting you and flirt with you or he’ll be spreading every minor infraction around the entire asylum and ratting you out to the wardens. it’s just about whether he respects you or whether you catch him on a good day or not.
  • they keep waylon mostly in the underground cells :( so when he gets to come up to the cafeteria or group therapy or occupational therapy he is? so relieved?? even if the rogues are assholes he is so relieved to see familiar faces and actually have people to talk to
Tantalizing: 03

Originally posted by jikookfantasy

Tantalizing: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08
Ship: Jungkook | Reader
Description: Back in high school, you were nothing more than a nerd Jungkook wanted to deflower, to get a good fuck from. When he sees you at the club, though, things have changed drastically, and his dominance starts to teeter on the edge.
Warning: Sub!Jungkook, Sex Toy, Masturbation, Handjob, Oral, Degrading Names, Film, Exhibitionism, Blindfold, Hair Pulling
Word Count: 7,243

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I’m Not A Kid: Part 3 (Final Part)

I’m Not a Kid: Part 3 (Final Part) (m)

Word count: 7.7k

Genre/Warnings: angst, smut, dirty talk

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Summary: You finally face Jungkook after he moved away, three years ago.

Parts: one | two (3/3)

It had been three years since you had laid eyes on Jeon Jungkook. Not that you had been keeping count. It was somewhere near almost three. You two were going hot and heavy in secret for two years. Jungkook went to college while working for his father part time. Luckily for you Mr. Jeon had his son working with you most of the time. The two of you actually worked very well together. Then the day came where Jungkook graduated and he came and worked for the company for about half a year but then his dad decided to open and wanted Jungkook to manage another branch in another country.

You were devastated to say the least when you had to hear about it from the whole office and not even your boyfriend, Jungkook. Of course you thought the rumors were just that, rumors. But then you had went into Jungkook’s office and he wasn’t there. All of his stuff had been taken out and you just stood there. You remember the feeling so vividly, it made you sick to your stomach. 

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Story time b*tches.
So I’m a trans dude, right? Okay, but before I started to transition, I was the girliest girl to ever fucking girl. I had no say in this, I was basically told “hey, wear this dress and makeup to this amusement park with your cousin” I’m like fine. Whatever. Anybody can rock a dress and makeup. Now, I was a real busty girl. And you could see it very well. So I’ve got my little cous’ on my back. She’s enjoying the piggy back ride, whatever. So these motherfuckers of a douche boys start Cat-calling me. Fuck them. Anyway, at this point, I have two options: ignore them, or beat the shit out of them. But I can’t piss off my aunt with my cous’ so it looks like I have to ignore them. Then the most fucking brilliant idea I’ve ever had pops into my head. I tell my cous’ to hold on tight, then when the douche heads start up again, I screech. Like, full on fucking screech. Then I Naruto™ run towards them, still screeching. They start yelling and running away like the fucking pansyies they were. Moral of the story is: If you ever get fucking cat-called and you don’t want to be, be as weird as you fucking can possibly be.

“Mother has been poisoned !” - Batfam x Reader (batmom)

Ok, Imma translate @laetitia-prst​‘s request (my fellow French person yo), so, basically : 

SUMMARY : Batmom has been poisoned by a new villain who wants to get known by killing the famous Bruce Wayne’s wife/partner. The batfamily is on edge, they gotta save her, because they’d be nothing without her…And then laetitia-prst talks about the ending and important plot points but hey, no fun if I translate that too right ? So here for poisoned bat mom,I feel like maybe it’s going a bit fast ? I didn’t really wanna make more than one part for this story so it’s long, and I’m afraid I might have rushed some things up…I hope you’ll still like it :s :  

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

__________________________________________________

You were with Damian, asking some mango juice at the bar for him (the barman was being a dick, and refused to serve your son because “he was too young”, even though he didn’t want an alcoholic drink, so your quite annoyed self went to get it for him), when things went south. 

-Mother ? Mother are you alright ?! MOM !

You don’t really know what happened. You felt a painful prick on your thigh, where your fancy dress was opening slightly, as if you just got stung by a wasp, and all of a sudden…Everything went blurry. Next thing you know, your youngest son is trying to catch you before you hit the floor, and his arms are holding you with all his strength, as if afraid you’d disappear. 

-Father, father ! Dad ! DAD !! 

You can feel Damian shake, but you can’t see properly the line of his face…his distress is making your heart tighten, and you have to reassure him but when you try to raise a hand to cup his cheek and stroke it gently, nothing happen.

You hear more than you see Bruce falling on his knees next to you. You feel his hands taking you away from Damian, you feel your son resisting a bit, reluctant of letting you go, you feel yourself raising from the floor…But you don’t get it. 

What is happening ? 

Your vision is even more blurry than a few minutes before, and the last thing you hear before drifting into total darkness is Bruce saying : 

-What the Hell happened ? 

Everything goes dark as you fell unconscious. Your husband feels you go limp in his arms, but before he can really react, a man in the assistance, wearing a gaz mask and khakis stands on a table and, with his best evil laugh, says : 

-My names is Mutagen, and you can bet that by the end of this week, I’ll be the most famous criminal in all Gotham. Spread the word, especially to Batman.  

Jason almost catch him on the spot, but the man jumps out the window and disappears…Who the hell was he ? 

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Seriously, fuck Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift did NOT deserve AOTY in 2010 and she definitely did NOT deserve it in 2016. Why should mediocrity be rewarded just because a black man interrupted her sorry ass VMAs speech in 2009? I am done with Kanye West but there will always be two things (among a few others) that will forever be factual in our lives: “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” and, “… Beyoncé had one of the best videos of all time!” I’m not even a Beyoncé stan and even I know the cultural impact of the “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)” video.

Frank Ocean’s post wasn’t even about Taylor, Taylor’s mediocrity-loving fans made it about that mediocre bitch. Frank’s point was that the Grammys still reject the importance of hip hop and its culture. Can you imagine Madonna’s shitty Ray of Light album beating out Lauryn Hill’s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill? Do you understand how backwards that would have been? Well, what the Grammys did last year was on that level of backwards ass shit. Seriously. To Pimp a Butterfly was and still is a living breathing piece of hip hop. It isn’t perfect, nothing can ever be perfect; but it was and will forever will be an important album. Those songs will be relevant for a very, very long time. The lyrics alone will be relevant for a very, very long time. The references to Tupac and to Jazz music and to funk music will be relevant for a very, very long time. What the fuck will be relevant about 1989 in 2029? I’ve heard people say it was important to feminism, but didn’t the bitch make “Bad Blood” in an attempt to tear down a fellow white bitch?

Frank’s post wasn’t even about Taylor. However, this post is about the mediocre bitch and no amount of bitching will make the bitch seem any less mediocre to me or many, many other people. Her next album will be garbage and we all know she’s going to milk this Frank Ocean thing to try to jimmy-rig another AOTY win, but we’ll just call her phony ass out more. This shit can go on for as long as it has to.

Highlights from the 1st session of my D&D campaign

(during character creation)
Mum: I’m Trump-Tinyhands, a famous half-orc ballerina.

(while trying to enter a cursed church) D
M: You (pixie character) enter the church, however, the second you enter you get distracted by a bright light, which you then fly towards blindly and continue to fly into it.
Dylan, our Pixie: IT’S SO BRIGHT AND SHINY

(in a bar)
Trump-Tinyhands: Drink! Drink! Drink! Drink! Me want drink! Drink! Drink!
Dylan: Erm yes I think we might need a few more dozen pints for our friend over here, he’s not drunk enough.

(still in the bar)
M'riqa, our Khajiit thief, talking to the barmaid: Hey, I’ve seen many pussies in my time, but if I pet you right will your purr?
Barmaid: I will beat the shit out of you if you talk to me like that again.
M'riqa: *sprints right out of the bar*
Dylan: Damnit, come back here!

(going back to the cursed church)
DM: Maybe Dylan should stop trying to enter the church. He’s a Loki-worshipper and this is the Church of The God of Mild Frostbite and That Very Annoying Feeling You Get After You Warm Your Hands Up After Being In The Cold That Makes Your Fingers Feel Like They’re Burning
Trump-Tinyhands OOC: If that’s the God’s name, I can’t imagine just how long the sermons are.

(M'riqa spotted something pretty in the church and wants to steal it)
M'riqa: I enter the church!
DM: You try to enter the church, but it appears that you cannot. The curse on the church does not know what to do with you, so it simply becomes an invisible wall.
Trump-Tinyhands: I think something’s going on with this church.
Dylan: *sarcastically* I never would have thought of that!

(40 minutes into figuring out the church)
M'riqa OOC: Does anybody have Detect Magic?
Dylan OOC: Hell yeah I do!
M'riqa OOC: Then go do it you winged bastard.
Dylan: I cast Detect Magic on the church doorway.
M'riqa OOC: 40 fucking minutes. 40 FUCKING MINUTES WE’VE SPENT ON THIS FUCKING CHURCH CURSE ONLY NOW TO FIND THAT THE BLOODY PIXIE HAD THE KEY TO THE WHOLE DAMN THING
DM: You cast Detect Magic on the doorway. It seems that only followers of the God of Mild Fristbite and all that stuff can pass through the doorway.
Dylan: I can’t, I’m Loki’s priest.
Half-orc: What’s a priest? (too stupid to know what a god is)
Dylan: It’s down to you, M'riqa.
M'riqa: … I may or may not have sold my soul and devoted my life to Nocturnal. Is that a problem?

(later)
M'riqa: Nocturnal, may I stray from your path for a moment while I infiltrate this church?
DM: You poke yourself in the eye. That’s a no.
M'riqa: Please? Come on, I’ll steal something to add to the glory of the Guild!
DM: You sock yourself right in the nose. You are bleeding.
M'riqa: Pretty please?? I’ll serve you in the afterlife for twice as long!
DM: You stamp on your own foot.
M'riqa: Before I go any further, if I ask one more time, will I or will I not keep my tail?
DM: Nocturnal remains smugly silent.
M'riqa: If someone had told me that this is the sort of thing that happens when you give yourself to a god, then I may have reconsidered my choice.

So this bitch...

So my Japanese friend and I were just hanging out doing some shopping in England today and some old white lady comes up to us starts spouting some racist shit. My friend sorta just looks at me like ‘what the fuck??’. This woman decides to whip out her phone real quick and get up google translate (bearing in mind, she still doesn’t know that my friend is fluent is English), types in a whole load of bullshit and presses the speaking button for the automated voice to read out what she has written. After a few minutes of listening to this, it stops and this woman looks at my friend with the most shit-eating grin as if to say ‘now what are you going to going?’. Without missing a beat, my friend steps closer to this woman and says in perfect English “Bitch, do I look Chinese to you?”. The colour literally drained from that womans’ face.

Honestly, I wish you guys could have seen her face. Like the closest I’ve found to her reaction is this:

This old woman looked like we had just stabbed her whole family right infront of her, like bitch…what did you expect?