will never forgive you for this ever

2

Life in the Bunker [Entry Two]:

I don’t feel like writing anything today, other than the fact that I can’t escape this insurmountable guilt. Rei can say what he wants, but I will never forgive myself for letting someone die that I know I could have saved. I mean, when there’s a will, there’s a way right? You taught me that, Aric.


“We didn’t get to properly introduce each other, my name is Mona. Nice to meet you.” Harbor held the journal in her hands tightly.


“Harbor.”


“Well, Harbor, it’s great to have another girl here. I’m not here all the time but I do come in and out with supplies every so often.  I trade items and intel. If you ever want me to keep an ear out for any kind of information, let me know. It’s the least I can do for what you were willing to do for me. I know I wasn’t missing but I appreciate the effort you put in, without even knowing me. Thank you.”


Harbor shut her eyes. “Actually, can you tell me if you hear anything about Nautilus? A man named Dallas, actually. But don’t discuss it with anyone else.”


She nodded. “As long as you promise me that this won’t hurt anyone.”


“No, it’ll be saving people.” Harbor stretched her legs out. “Just trust me, okay?”


Mona nodded. “Alright, Harbor. I can trust you. Besides, you’re not the only one who asks me for information and then tells me to keep it to myself. People have secrets they don’t want to reveal, I get it.”


“It’s not a secret,” Harbor said.


“Then why keep it to yourself?” Mona asked. She shook her head. “It doesn’t really matter at all. I’ll let you know if I find anything out.”


“Thanks.”

@betty-nyan replied to your postHave you ever felt so frustrated about some…

I feel the same. I keep crying because I love Soo-Won so much, even though I should hate him for what he’s done and is currently doing! But I still can’t stop loving him. It’s like my heart just shattered into pieces. Hopefully the wounds will heal soon…

I think Soowon is a really intriguing character. He has done things I will never forgive him for, but he is a great King and which King actually doesn’t do some wrong things to protect his country? But I am just soooo frustrated right now. I get him you know. I get why he’s doing this. But I’m just so so done with this. And Minsoo is another reason why I’m angry. I understand where he’s coming from too, but to think he would even speak that way to Yona, someone who loved him, cried for him and regretted so so so much, I’m disowning my son. I was happy to see him alive (but now I kinda wish he had stayed dead).

Reborn

Fandom: Ace Attorney

Characters: Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth, Maya Fey, Trucy Edgeworth; special cameos by Dahlia Hawthorne and Kristoph Gavin

Summary: “That’s where you are wrong. Because I’m deciding here and now that I’m letting you go.”

Notes: This was inspired by an episode of the U.S. sci-fi series A Town Called Eureka. The story has a set-up that I’ve got partly planned out in my head, but the reason this story exists is for the scenes below the cut.

Warnings for surreal images of burning alive in a dream.

Keep reading

I hate this. Things like this scare the shit out of me.
Yes a parent should be protective. No they should not STALK their child.
Yes a parent can get upset at a child. No they should not flip out or let their anger make them out of control, or take out their anger on their child.
Yes a parent can lecture and maybe the kid feels like their parent is driving them crazy - but after the last two statements forgive me if I don’t exactly trust these definitions.
A parent should never be their child’s worst nightmare. A pain sometimes, ok, but not a nightmare.
And the idea of a parent “stalking” and “hunting down” their child is horrifying. If you were a good parent, maybe your child would have communicated whereabouts upfront with you already.
And the last statement is the worst. “I will subject you to terror and treat you like my property…. Because I love you!” No one would ever put up with this from a partner, a friend, even a grandparent…. Why is it suddenly okay from a parent?

Fuck toxic parenting.

Everything I ever write to you starts with I’m sorry, but I have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t our fault, we never wanted it to end this way. For so long I thought didn’t care, that you never did. I know now that it was the complete opposite. What I am sorry for is that our timing wasn’t right. Maybe if the leaves weren’t falling and the world was alive instead of dying we could have been right.
—  You’re never going to see this but I want you to know, I forgive us// 4am

tenderest lines in bbc sherlock: 

  • “i never guess.” “yes, you do. what are you so happy about?”
  • “take my card.”
  • “feeling better?”
  • “uh, milk. we need milk.” “i’ll get some.” “really?” “really.” “and some beans, then?” “mmm.”
  • “that…thing that you, uh, that you did. that, um, you offered to do. that was, um…good.”
  • “somebody loves you.”
  • “look at them. they all care so much. do you ever wonder if there’s something wrong with us?” “all lives end, all hearts are broken. caring is not an advantage, sherlock.”
  • “i am sorry. forgive me. merry christmas, molly hooper.”
  • “this is low tar.” “well, you barely knew her.” 
  • “merry christmas, mycroft.” “and a happy new year!”
  • “are you sure tonight’s a danger night?” “no, but then i never am. you have to stay with him, john.”
  • “he’s sherlock. how will we ever know what goes on in that funny old head?”
  • “shame on you, john watson.” “shame on me?” “mrs. hudson leave baker street? england would fall.”
  • “so she’s alive, then? how are we feeling about that?” “happy new year, john.”
  • “my brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher, yet he elects to be a detective. what might we deduce about his heart?” “i don’t know.” “neither do i. but initially, he wanted to be a pirate.”
  • “i don’t have friends. i’ve just got one.”
  • “sentiment?” “sentiment.”
  • “ready?” “yes.”
  • “you look sad. when you think he can’t see you.”
  • “sherlock, i don’t want the world believing-” “that i’m what?” “a fraud.”
  • “no, i know you’re for real.” “100 percent?” “well, nobody could fake being such an annoying dick all the time.”
  • “you’re wrong, you know? you do count. you’e always counted and i’ve always trusted you. but you were right. i’m not okay.” “tell me what’s wrong.” “molly, i think i’m going to die.” “what do you need?” “if i wasn’t everything that you think i am, everything that i think i am, would you still want to help me?” “what do you need?” 
  • “please, will you do this for me?” “do what?” “this phone call, it’s my note. it’s what people do, don’t they? leave a note?” “leave a note when?” “goodbye, john.”
  • “i’m a doctor, let me come through. let me come through, please. he’s my friend. he’s my friend, please.”
  • “you told me once that you weren’t a hero. um, there were times i didn’t even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man the most human human being that i’ve ever known and no one will ever convince me that you told me a lie. so there. i was so alone and i owe you so much.“
  • “i’m not lonely, sherlock.” “how would you know?”
  • “i hope you’ll be very happy, molly hooper. you deserve it.”
  • “please john, forgive me for all the hurt i caused you.”
  • “look, i find it difficult. i find it difficult, this sort of stuff.” “i know.” “you were the best and the wisest man that i have ever known. yes, of course i forgive you.”
  • “oh, those things you said- such sweet things! i never knew you cared!”
  • “i asked you for one more miracle. i asked you to stop being dead.” “i heard you.”
  • “i mean, who leaves a wedding early?”
  • “into battle.”
  • “i thanked him for the trust he placed in me and indicated that i was, in some ways, very close to being…moved by it.”
  • “you- you mean-” “yes.” “i’m your…best…” “man.” “-friend?” “yeah, of course you are. of course you’re my best friend.”
  • “the point i’m trying to make is that i am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant and all-round obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. i am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the happy. so if i didn’t understand i was being asked to be best man, it is because i never expected to be anybody’s best friend. certainly not the best friend of the bravest and kindest and wisest human being i have ever had the good fortune of knowing.”
  • “john, i am a ridiculous man, redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship.”
  • “what’s wrong? what happened? why are you all doing that? john? did i do it wrong?” “no, you didn’t. come here.”
  • “clever?” “i’d say so.” “you would? am i important?” “to some people.”
  • “not you! not you! not you! you. it’s always you. john watson, you keep me right.”
  • “we wouldn’t do that, would we- you and me? we would never do that to john watson.”
  • “how dare you throw away the beautiful gifts you were born with? and how dare you betray the love of your friends?”
  • “human error.”
  • “hello, redbeard. they’re putting me down too, now. it’s no fun, is it?”
  • “john will cry buckets and buckets. it’s him that i worry about the most.”
  • “your loss would break my heart.” “what the hell am i supposed to say to that?”
  • “oh, sherlock. what have you done?”
  • “john, there’s something i should say, i’ve meant to say always and then never have. since it’s unlikely we’ll ever meet again, i might as well say it now. sherlock is actually a girl’s name.”
  • “to the very best of times.”
  • “you’ve been reading john’s blog. the story of how you met.”
  • “wherever i find him, whatever back alley or doss house, there will always be a list.”
  • “there’s always the two of us. don’t you read the strand?”
  • “since when do you call me john?” “you’d be surprised.” “no, i wouldn’t.”
  • “sherlock. promise me?”
  • “doctor watson? look after him, please?”
  • “you just like this dog, don’t you?” “well, i like you.”
  • “your life is not your own. keep your hands off it, do you hear me?”
  • “you can keep your scars.”
  • “well, that’s interesting.” “what is?” “the way you think.” “superbly?” “sweetly.” “i’m not sweet, i’m just high.”
  • “he’s not about thinking, not sherlock. no, no. he’s more emotional, isn’t he?” 
  • “i’m gonna make a deduction.” “oh, okay, that’s good.” and if my deduction is right, you’re gonna be honest, and tell me, okay?” “okay. though i should mention that it is possible for any given text alert to become randomly attached to-” “happy birthday.” “thank you, john. that’s…very kind of you.” 
  • “it’s okay.” “it’s not okay.” “no. but it is what it is.” 

After watching Grey’s Anatomy:

  • you don’t spell gray you spell grey
  • you’re basically a doctor
  • you freak out if someone has the hiccups 
  • planes make u nervous 
  • you have a thing for ferryboats 
  • you got a problem? just push one of epi 
  • when you hear Arizona you don’t think of the state 
  • you get emotional over scrub caps 
  • you will never forgive shonda 
  • you have trust issues 
  • you can never get attached to characters ever again 

I forgive you.

you never apologized for everything that you ever put me through and you probably didn’t even notice any of it because people usually don’t notice things they dont care about, and thats what I was to you. I was just another person that existed, I was just another person that made you feel like you were worth something.

All you ever did was make me feel incomplete. I’d look at myself for hours until I could no longer recognize anything in trying to figure out why you don’t love me in the way I put love into you.
And even if you didn’t love me in that way, why couldn’t you at least be a good damn friend.

but you never gave me a thing. and I used to stay up at night trying to convince myself that you cared about me when I knew damn well you never did.
I always knew what I was to you but I tried to ignore it for so long, I convinced myself otherwise because when you know that the person that you love, does not even give a damn about you something inside you shuts off and I couldn’t deal with that and I didn’t want to accept that so I kept trying to see something that was never there.
I think thats what destroyed me in the end, knowing the reality of what we were but trying to look past that and find something that wasn’t there.
I was looking for so long, I got lost and forgot what I was looking for.
and I forgive you.
I forgive you for all of it, I forgive you for the nights I stayed up crying because you chose her. I forgive you for leaving and then coming back just so you could leave all over again. I forgive you for the things that you said when you and i both knew you didn’t mean them. and I forgive you for using me to try and fill the hole that she left in you. I forgive you for using me as a fix for your confidence because throughout everything all I ever saw was how great you are, and all you ever did was feed of that.

and now I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for everything that I put myself through. I forgive myself for letting myself believe that you really were the greatest part of me. I forgive myself for loving you when you weren’t worth a damn thought.

because after stepping away, I see it all so clearly now. After I accepted what I really was to you, everything else made more sense.
I destroyed myself in loving you and for that I am so sorry but when I say I forgive you, I mean I forgive myself, I forgive giving so much of myself to someone that didn’t care how my day was going. I forgive myself for all the hurt I endured.

—  I have to let go, and to do that I need to forgive.
It is never truly wrong to crave love from someone. No one ever said that it was a mistake to fall in love with someone you know who won’t feel the same way towards you. They call it unconditional love when you don’t expect anything in return. Selfless. Brave. When you accept that feelings sometimes will not be mutual. Yet I hope that you should be willing to give the same kind of love to yourself. That even if you did a lot of mistakes, you resist the urge to hate yourself. Instead, I hope that you forgive yourself and learn from lessons you will meet along the way. Because that needs a lot of patience, kindness and courage my dear. Loving yourself even if the world tells you not to. Forgiving yourself even if other people say you don’t need to. Being kind to yourself even if you sometimes think you can’t. Darling, this is what you should always remember, especially when you feel like everything around you seems to kill every little piece of you. Do not ever forget that you deserve love, more especially from yourself. Do not let your light fade away. Stars are there with a purpose. And so are you. Shine brighter. Live.
—  ma.c.a // Self love
Bojack Horseman’s one ‘fuck’ a season rule

“You know what it was like for me? I had nobody. Everybody left. I knew all those showbiz phonies would turn on me. Sure. But you? I don’t care about the job! I did fine. I had a good life. But what I needed then was a friend, and you abandoned me. And I will never forgive you for that. Now, get the fuck out of my house.”
- Herb Kazzaz, Season 1 Episode 8

“Don’t. Don’t you dare. If you are not out of my driveway in thirty minutes, I will call the police. And if you ever try to contact me or my family again, I will fucking kill you.”
- Charlotte Moore, Season 2 Episode 11 

“You can’t keep doing this! You can’t keep doing shitty things, and then feel bad about yourself, like that makes it okay! You need to be better! You are all the things that are wrong with you. It’s not the alcohol, or the drugs, or any of the shitty things that happened to you during your career, or when you were a kid. It’s you. All right? It’s you. Fuck, man. What else is there to say?”
- Todd Chavez, Season 3 Episode 10

Send in an ask for my muse's reaction.
  • "You're alive."
  • "What's imporant to you?"
  • "Do you have a dream?"
  • "I wish that things could be different."
  • "What do you think of me now?"
  • "What do you live for?"
  • "Because you're alive."
  • "Do you ever wonder what could have been?"
  • "Just keep moving."
  • "Is this really worth the effort?"
  • "Because I'm alive."
  • "Forgive and forget."
  • "Resent and remember."
  • "Forget all of this."
  • "Worry about yourself!"
  • "There's far worse out there."
  • "I'm alive."
  • "You can only trust yourself."
  • "Why are you so hateful?"
  • "You can rely on me."
  • "Lend me a hand."
  • "Get used to it."
  • "I'll never trust you again."
  • "I want this too."
  • "I'm going with you!"
  • "Don't be selfish."
Bitter Sentence Starters

“You made me this way.”

“You think I wanted this?!”

“This is all his/her/their fault.”

“I’m not the bad guy.”

“Don’t make me the bad guy here.”

“I wasn’t the only one who did it.”

“They framed me and everyone believed. Even you.”

“The things you made me do… I can never forgive you.”

“ I’ll never forgive what you did to me.”

“I only did what I had to!”

“I had to do it to survive.”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“I needed help and you ignored me.”

“You were there, but all you did was watch.”

“I wasn’t the one who turned their back.”

“You just took in everything they said.”

“You believed every little lie they fed you.”

“You promised to be there for me, but you never were.”

“I needed someone more than ever, and everyone just walked away.”

when abusers insist you have to “leave the past in the past” and “forgive them already” they’re acting as if they’ve stopped abusing you at this point, as if it was all in the past but now they’ve stopped being abusers and have somehow deserved forgiveness and trust merely for not abusing you a certain period of time, but listen, they haven’t stopped abusing you for a second, the words coming out of their mouth when they demand forgiveness are not only gaslighting and psychological abuse but the intended continuation for their abusive behavior for “when you start catching on and resisting”, it’s merely a change of tactics to keep you in control. What ever abusers have done once, they will do it again, even if they apologize, even if they act like it was one time or just because of a certain thing that happened to them / you did, even if they promise to never do it again, even if they act like you’re ridiculous for even implying they would do such a thing. 

Being forced to be around a person who hurt you, doesn’t regret it and would do it again is living in abusive environment. Even if they’re not doing anything else, just existing near you, it’s harmful to you. You will not get a chance to heal, you will not get a chance to feel safe. The knowledge that you have to be around someone who did horrible things to you, that you’re unprotected against that and that you can’t know when to expect it again, being unable to express how cornered and scared and hurt you are, not feeling like you have the right to express your anger, knowing that nobody will take you seriously or believe you or stand on your side will ensure you’re taking more and more damage by the day. You don’t have to leave anything in the past. You don’t have to forgive anything. For the sake of your own health, you need to be able to be upset and to call out anyone who has hurt you.