will lose all my friends with this

okay but Sara ~~hating Vilde~~behind her back but acting like besties to her face is such a fucking thing especially in high school, legit all of the popular girls at my school fucking hated each other and i would CONSTANTLY hear them taking shit about each other in classes, but then they would chill and “be friends” bc they’re The Popular Girls and don’t want to lose the image they had created for themselves

I’m a lot like Sana, i think. Personality-wise. And I’ve been hurt by friends before and my response was also isolating myself. I see her and think ‘I know so well what she’s going through’ cause I’ve been like this, so many times.
And the clip comes out and I see Eva’s expression of worry and sadness when Sana says she’s not going with them and I’m thinking 'she should’ve gone with them, even if she can’t face Noora now. Her friends don’t really know what’s going on with her, they only know that Sana’s pushing them away. And if she keeps isolating herself from them she’ll lose them all. She should just go with them’.
And it’s ironic. Cause I never did that. I never told my friends a thing, I never went with my friends when I was mad. I was alone. And I did lose them all eventually. And I see myself in her and I see it from the outside and I see the possibilites. And all I can think is, maybe I had those possibilites too, and I just couldn’t see them. Maybe I should’ve gone with them too. Maybe I could’ve avoided this. And I’m okay with my life now, I’m okay with the people I have and the people I lost. But it hurts, cause it’s like looking at myself from the future and finally getting the whole picture.
And honestly, this makes me reconsider my choices but also helps me learn from my mistakes and helps me become a better person. I won’t forget this in the future, and I won’t make the same mistakes again, and I will try to really see the situation- And that’s why I love Skam so much and why it is so great. Because every little thing really means something, every word and scene have a purpose and a message and I get it. I get it now.


okay the rant is over

listen up friends

if i ever, and i mean EVER, hear you say the word f*ggot, i will immediately lose any and all respect for you. even if you’re a member of the lgbtq+ community.

the word was once a term for cigarettes until the 1800s when they fucking ROLLED GAY PEOPLE UP INTO CARPETS AND SET THEM ON FIRE, and they looked so much like cigarettes that they started calling them f*ggots.

if i ever hear you say that word, you will lose my respect

this has been a psa, thank you and good night

Goodbye For Now...

Are there really any more words needed?
It’s not perminent
Only temporary
In two years, you’ll be back
We’ll still see you every now and then
And yet
Why won’t my tears stop falling
Why can’t I stop listening to this song
I don’t even know you personally
Yet somehow
I feel as I’ve been close to you for years
Like I’m losing a dear friend
Your music, your voice
It brought so many people closer
To think we’ll be without this voice
To bring us into the autumn
For two whole years
It’s painful and hard to accept
Even though we all knew this
That it was enevitable
Yet we have to remember
It’s only goodbye
For now…

-From, An ELF, and a faithful Gamer

y'all should rec me some new music because my writers block is brutal x.x

send me what comes to mind when you think of either

-exes meeting for the first time after not speaking for years who slowly reconnect through a shared love of books

or

-friends playing matchmaker for a dude who’s obviously in love with his friend but is totally oblivious

(also send me books/movies/shows/whatever with matchmaking plots pls and thank)

R U L E S:
copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you. And most importantly, have fun! Thanks to @punkascas and @gallifreyan-uprising for the tag💖

a - age: i may look 9 sometimes, but i’m 19
b - biggest fear: losing my eyesight, losing all fam&friends
c - current time: 8:21pm
d - drink you last had: orange Hi-C
e - every day starts with: me saying “shhhh” to my alarm as if that will turn it off
f - favourite song: there’s too many so I’m gonna go with what I last listened to: Just Hold On by Louis Tomlinson
g - ghosts, are they real: heck yah
h - hometown: florida
i - in love with: my friends
j - jealous of: people who know what they want to do with their life
k - killed someone: what are you, a cop?
l - last time you cried: probs  a few weeks ago during finals
m - middle name: Joy
n - number of siblings: zeroooooooooooo
o - one wish: be able to make people happy
p - person you last called/texted: group chat of friends from hs trying to figure out where to go for lunch tmrw (we decided on Applebees)
q - questions you’re always asked: “did you just wake up?” “are you ever not studying?” “are you ever not on the internet?”
r - reasons to smile: new experiences, friends, good music 
s - song last sang: Happier- Ed Sheeran
t - time you woke up: um 11:45ish
u - underwear colour: white with purple flowers lmao
v - vacation destination: ANYWHERE LEMME SEE THE WORLD
w - worst habit: forgetting to eat bc distracted
x - x-rays you’ve had: teeth
y - your favourite food: mac & cheese!!!
z - zodiac sign: taurus

tagging: @adoringjensen @ecstaticastiel @vintagesam @m3wbun @samtulip (but only if u want to)

anonymous asked:

Are the ranks allowed to fall in love with another human of another social class????? Or are you only allowed to love an equal? Same goes for just any social interaction in general

Now, there isn’t quite anything stopping people of two ranks from falling in love; there is no law against it, and no official punishment. This however, doesn’t stop there from being extreme discrimination against it. 

It is discouraged to mingle with those of lower classes, for it’s believed that lower classes try to befriend higher classes to use as a power gain in their bloodline. Lower classes are viewed as all the same, snakes who only work for one’s self and to overpower higher class. 
To the lower class higher class are just seen as heartless monsters who would only befriend you to help their image of taking on a “charitable cause” or to be seen as generous to the poor. Falling in love with a lower class? You must be losing your grip on reality my dear friend, no one could love a dirty low class other than another dirty low class.

This does not stop it from happening of course, and those in close ranks are still able to become friends, but it’s rare to see a leap of a low class/high class pair of buds. Different people have different ideas for how things should work in the society but there is not any rule stating how relationships should work. 

I know it was you who sent me that anon, i know. You replaced me with someone else you fell in love with, you got what you wanted, i just cried and begged you to stay but you didn’t care and i just had try to live with the thought of losing the love of my life and my only friend to someone else, it’s been 6 months since it happened and i still didn’t recover, you destroyed me as if our 4 years together meant nothing and i just cried for you on my bedroom floor and spent nights awake bc i was too afraid of the nightmares i had so many times, the same fucking nightmare, i was too afraid of the thoughts that goes in my head everytime i’m trying to fall asleep bc they’re all about how much i misse you while you’re not mine anymore. How am i gonna live with the fear of abandonment? how am i gonna live with the fear of not being good enough? i can’t even hear the word “promise” without trembling, how am i gonna be able to start a new relationship without being able to hear promises, to trust them? I’m ruined for life. I just loved you so so much. you promised to me uncoutable times you would never leave, never be with someone else, that you would always be mine and let me take care of you forever. Where are you now? Where are you now??? where????? why did you have to leave me, did i disgust you somehow? i don’t understand, i don’t understand why why why why why why why why why why why  why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why omg i’ve been so hurt, so so hurt. You got what you wanted, i just asked you not to call me, not to message me bc i couldn’t see your pretty face, couldn’t talk to you without the intense pain of not having you with me anymore. I didn’t want to have to try to forget everything but i can’t leave with the memories, i’m sorry i can’t. Please just let me try to forget it, everything, you got what you wanted, please let me try to forget you

Things I really loved about Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 in earnest

Spoilers!!!!!

1. Yondu’s “I’m Mary Poppins y'all!” after Peter says he’s cool. Because yes, it’s a hilarious line, but it’s also such a DAD thing. Like, who can’t say that their dad wouldn’t be so proud to be considered cool by their son and it’s so unexpectedly sweet because of it.

2. The fact that Baby Groot cries like an actual baby once. Because it’s like it’s stabbing you in the heart, but it’s so effective because you really forget that he really is a baby with all the things he can do until then, and that brings you right back.

3. The symmetry in Yondu’s redemption. Yondu is damned because he brings Ego’s children to Ego and his planet to be sacrificed, and he’s redeemed by sacrificing himself to save Ego’s child (who really is HIS child) and bring him away from Ego’s planet.

4. Drax’s interaction with Mantis, especially him holding her while he drowns in Ego’s planet. Because Drax is like this big murderous comic relief character, but his screen time with Mantis was this lovely way to remind the audience that Drax has this soft side and this tragic past without shoving it in your face. Drax might laugh at your pain, but he’d also try to save you even as he was drowning, and it’s a perfect way to frame his character.

5. Ego’s “For the first time, I am truly not ALONE!” and his alieness in general. Because don’t get me wrong, Ego is absolutely a non redeemable wonky bonkers genocidal jerk off, but he’s got this great alien quality to him that I feel this series really needed. It’s not in how he looks, but his motives and how he acts. Ego is a millennia old being; a god in a world of mortals. His view point of the world and his actions are so very true to that idea that we almost can’t relate because no one can imagine what it must be like to be that old or that powerful. But when he yells that one line out, we really get it. Ego, for all his power, is just like us; he just doesn’t want to be alone. Coupled with his god like alien superiority, his ego - get it? ;) - he sees the expansion as the way to answer that feeling. If everything is him, after all, then he can’t be alone, see? What makes him a great villain is that he actually had the real answer all along - love, family - but he chose to destroy it because he felt it was beneath him; because of his subconscious disgust at his own desire to be “just like the rest of them.”

6. Nebula’s “You wanted to win and I just wanted a sister!” And how it turns the tables on how we view her relationship with Gamora. Because Nebula is clearly set up to be the ‘bad sister’ to Gamora’s ‘good sister’ and that one line really throws that on its head and shows that neither one of them are good or bad. I also love how it’s Gamora that ends up apologizing to Nebula, after everything, and Gamora who finally returns Nebula’s offer of sisterhood after all of those years.

7. “You shouldn’t have killed my mom and squished my Walkman!” Like, this line right here; the essence of Peter Quill in 10 words. Perfection.

8. The batteries as they relate to the parallel of Yondu’s and Rocket. Because them as a parallel is basically smashed over our heads, but I liked the subtle batteries parallel in that Rocket steals batteries he doesn’t need and Yondu steals Peter, who is used as a battery by Ego. It’s just a little thing but I found it really neat.

9. Rocket’s “I can only afford to lose one friend today,” line and how although it’s clearly framed to be about Peter, it’s also possibly about Yondu. Because no matter what, Rocket is losing a friend and it’s a great line to add to his character development from a guy who started trying to push his friends away to a guy who can’t lose them.

10. The contrast between how Peter reacts to the death of Ego and Yondu. He holds both as they die but he’s just silent and unaffected by Ego and he’s distraught and trying desperately to save Yondu, trying to pull off the suit to give to Yondu and save him instead. Can you say tears?

11. Don’t even talk to me about the Ravager funeral.

12. That the movie really was truly about family. Drax and his family and Mantis, Gamora and Nebula, Rocket and the Guardians, everyone parenting Groot and Peter realizing that the dad he’d wanted all along was actually the one he’d had. Often these superhero movies pull the “we’re family” card and it doesn’t feel earned, but man it does in this one. This movie is like Marvel’s “The Fast and The Furious IN SPACE” and it’s just great.

au where keith and lance meet through farmers only dot com but lance made his account as a joke and keith made his For Real

do u even realize how petty Nathaniel, Mr Student Body President, is like :

  • “how about u make peace with Castiel now that the whole Deborah thing is cleared up” asks Candy. “lol nope” answers Nathaniel.
  • “it’s nice to have someone to hate ! it helps you appreciate everyone else more !”
  • Armin makes an ~innocent~ comment about Candy’s chest. Nathaniel proceeds to break his leg with a chair.
  • “sorry I didn’t do it on purpose !”
  • in the same vein : “one of my drumsticks just slipped out of my hand ! and I don’t know how, but it landed on Castiel !”
  • called Deborah a “garce” but I saw google translation translate the word to “bitch” and tbh same (official ts : “awful girl”)
  • jusrt ffuckinj slamed a door on his rival’s face. u talkin about my gf ? how about u say Hello to Mrs Locker Door right there here I’ll help u
This is what “balancing the Force” looks like:

I wrote a 25-page paper on Star Wars arguing that “bringing balance to the Force” didn’t mean “the Jedi will be 100% in control” (and of course not the opposite) but bringing the two aspects of the Force into alignment, using Anakin as a case study. Brief recap of my paper:

  • EPISODE I
    • The Jedi literally don’t know that slavery still exists in the galaxy and are shocked when Shmi says “The Republic doesn’t exist out here… We must survive on our own.” So like… the fuck.
    • Anakin asks Qui-Gon “Have you come to free us?” and Qui-Gon says “No, I’m afraid not,” to which Anakin replies, “Why else would you be here?” Here we can see the innocence and goodness in Anakin juxtaposed against the moral ambiguity of the Jedi. They’re there for repairs on their ship - nothing more, nothing less. Witnessing slavery does nothing to change those priorities.
    • The Jedi take a child away from his mother, and when Anakin is (rightfully) scared for his mom, who has been left in slavery, the Jedi are still like well, you know, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, enforcing the laws against slavery seems kinda like a lot of work so we’re just not gonna get involved. That’s like… not quite what you would expect from the “Light” Side.
    • Anakin is literally a child whose mother has been left in slavery and, understandably, he’s kind of freaked out. Instead of acknowledging Anakin’s pain as legitimate and working with him, the Jedi take an oppositional stance, telling Anakin that “Fear is the path to the dark side” - a phrase that was much more apt in the Original Trilogy than it is here, where Anakin is only nine, and his fears are 100% rational.
  • EPISODE II
    • Obi-Wan asks Anakin if he’s sleeping poorly because of his mom, Anakin basically admits yes, and Obi-Wan says “Dreams pass in time.” Uh, Obi-Wan, I’m sure you have good intentions and all, but the problem isn’t in the dream world. Anakin’s dreams are a reflection of the actual, legitimate, very real danger his mother is in, and Obi-Wan’s response only dismisses Anakin’s fear and drives him further away from the Jedi Council. And, again, the Jedi could have fixed this entire situation by either rescuing his mother or actually trying to stop slavery instead of just paying lip service to the idea.
    • Anakin and Padmé fall in love, and Padmé is like “yo is this, like, allowed to happen for you??” and Anakin says “Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is central to a Jedi’s life, so you might say we’re encouraged to love.” So… Taking a woman’s child so he can fulfill their prophecy and leaving that woman alone and enslaved on a desert planet is compassionate behavior now? Right. Sounds fake, but okay. Also, Anakin is literally pointing out the hypocrisy in that statement - so you can love humanity and people, but you can’t love a person? That’s super weird.
      • Falling in love is like… not really something you can help? Especially not the first time. Just, you know, speaking as the classic lesbian who has fallen for a straight best friend… just saying “don’t do that” is not really going to help. At all.
    • At this point, the Jedi have created a situation where if Anakin falls in love (as he is wont to do as a literal teenager who was not brought up in the Jedi Order of his own volition), he has to keep that love secret or a) risk expulsion from the Jedi and b) prove them “right” that he can’t be trusted. Which, you know, nobody wants to do.
    • Padmé tells him that he “had a nightmare again last night,” and Anakin says, “Jedi don’t have nightmares.” Yo, what the fuck. This kid is a teenager, his mom is on a desert planet and enslaved, and now he feels like he’s not even allowed to have nightmares? Which are not conscious? I get that the Jedi are supposed to have total control over themselves, but first of all, that’s a completely unrealistic expectation to have of anyone, much less a teenager, and second of all, that’s a real fucked up thing to imply on a mental health level. “You’re guilty, even for the pain that your brain is inflicting on you from childhood trauma in situations (i.e., unconsciousness) that you can’t even control!” Yeah, no. There is no way that could possibly go well. 
      • If Anakin is made to feel guilty for being scared or having nightmares or missing his mom from whom he was taken when he was not even ten years old, and Jedi are pointing to those feelings as evidence that he is dangerous and untrustworthy, he is put in a situation where he cannot admit that he needs help and therefore cannot access help. Like, just get the kid a shrink! And maybe rescue his mom! There are ways to address this and help Anakin stop having feelings, if that’s something we really have to do, without shaming him, which is gross and also distinctly unhelpful.
    • Anakin goes back to Tatooine to find his mom, she’s been kidnapped and tortured by Tusken Raiders, she dies in his arms, and he slaughters the Tuskens and vows to become so powerful he will be able to stop people from dying. Which, like, is not ideal - not condoning murder - but he’s also seen his mother for the first time in years, like at least half a decade, and he is a) completely overrun with survivor’s guilt and b) rightfully grieving and c) also rightfully pissed the fuck off that he finally sees him mom again only to have her die in his arms. Like, I’d be pissed, too. And you know what helps with grief? Talking it out!! Therapy!! Friendship!! You know what Anakin doesn’t have? Literally any of those things. He can’t admit that he’s grieving his mom because it would threaten his place in the Jedi Order. The Order’s strictness continues to place him in a catch-22 where admitting he needs help is already condemning him.
  • EPISODE III
    • Anakin beats Count Dooku in part because he is furious that Palpatine has been “captured” and taps into the Dark Side with that emotion. THEN, Padmé’s like “surprise, I’m pregnant,” and Anakin (again, understandably) flips the fuck out. He has nightmares about her dying in childbirth, and guess who he can’t go to for advice or help or even consolation? The Jedi!! Wow, this is going so well for everyone, what great policies we have here.
    • The Jedi Council want Anakin to spy on Palpatine, and Anakin (correctly) points out to Obi-Wan that this goes against the Jedi Code, against the Republic, and asks why Obi-Wan is asking this of him… to which Obi-Wan replies, “The Council is asking you.” So, you know, this doesn’t exactly endear Anakin to the Council, who have already been pretty shitty to him and are now seemingly hypocritical as well.
    • Palpatine says to Anakin, “Be careful of the Jedi, Anakin. They fear you. In time they will destroy you.” and yeah, he’s playing on Anakin’s confusion and suspicions and totally using him as a pawn here, but he’s also right. The Jedi have proven themselves to not have Anakin’s best interests at heart, even if they have good intentions. And they do fear Anakin, so, you know, that whole “non-attachment prevents fear” thing isn’t really working out for them either.
    • Palpatine tells Anakin that the Dark Side can allow you to control death, and Anakin (who, let’s remind ourselves, has watched his mother die in his arms) begs to know how so he can save Padmé should his nightmares come true and she die in childbirth. And, again, since he can’t go to the Jedi for any help with this, he feels he has no choice but to trust Palpatine.
    • Here we get to a real fun sequence of events. Palpatine tells Anakin he’s a Sith. Anakin threatens to kill Palpatine, but doesn’t, so he can maintain the possibility of learning how to save Padmé. He goes to tell the Jedi, who rush into action and don’t allow him to join them because they think his fear will cloud his judgment, ignoring the fact that a) they’re scared out of their asses too, and b) he literally just betrayed someone close to him??? for people who have really been nothing but shitty??? So I feel like Anakin’s doing surprisingly well rn and the Jedi are basically like, “Yeah, great, but also fuck you and stay here.”
    • Soooooooo, Anakin goes to save Palpatine (again, to then save his wife), and in order to save him he kills a Jedi. At this point, Anakin’s like “I’m completely fucked,” which is true (although he’s been fucked from the beginning because the Jedi suck), and he pledges himself to Palpatine because he doesn’t think he has any other option.
    • Okay, then he goes and murders a bunch of kids, so like. That’s not great. Not gonna condone that. This was A Mistake™. I think we can all agree on that. Moving on.
    • Obi-Wan and Yoda see footage of Anakin’s fun murder time and Obi-Wan goes to try to find and defeat Anakin. In order to find him, he tells Padmé what happened and then hides away on her ship.
    • Padmé talks to Anakin, flips out when she realizes Obi-Wan was telling the truth, and as she tries to talk Anakin down from his panic- and grief-fueled descent into insanity he says, “I won’t lose you the way I lost my mother! I’ve become more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed of and I’ve done it for you. To protect you.”
      • Side note, at this point I get annoyed because, like, Anakin, she literally Did Not Ask. Buddy, pal, friend, she specifically told you not to do this. I know your heart is in the right place, but like, this really could have all been prevented if you’d just listened to your wife. Why are the women in Star Wars consistently the only people who know what the fuck is going on?
    • Obi-Wan reveals himself, Anakin thinks Padmé betrayed him, and Force-chokes her. So, like, again, the anger is understandable, the Force-choking is not. Not going to defend that.
    • As Obi-Wan and Anakin fight, Anakin says something extremely telling: “From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.” He isn’t lying. He isn’t even exaggerating. The Jedi have fucked him over at every turn. And the point that is being made here is that Anakin descends into madness because he, like the Jedi, lives at moral extremities. He goes mad and gives himself over to the Dark Side because the Jedi have thoroughly erased any possibility of a middle ground. 
      • The utter distrust that the Jedi Council have of “Gray Jedi” and the fact that “Gray Jedi” means both people who walk the middle ground of the Force and people who don’t answer to the authority of the Jedi Council also point to this. We can see this with Jolee Bindo and Qui-Gon, among others. If you walk the middle line, the Jedi will turn their backs on you. (Pro tip: if nobody is allowed to disagree with you, you’re probably not the good guys.)
    • Aaaaaaaaand finally the whole fight ends and Anakin becomes a weird lava-deformed creature of the night and when he finally wakes up and asks Palpatine if Padmé is okay, Palpatine says, “It seems in your anger, you killed her.” So, Anakin at this point a) is consumed with self-hatred, b) has nothing to live for because all of his loved ones either hate him (Obi-Wan) or are dead (Padmé, theoretically), and c) feels like he has no way out of the horrifying mess he’s put himself in. And here the prequels end.

What I’m trying to say here is that the Jedi aren’t perfect, and they don’t always use the Force for good. (See: “slavery is cool, we guess.”) Their emphasis on shutting out your emotions is ultimately what drives Anakin to the Dark Side because they allow no room for mistakes and therefore erase the possibility of Anakin ever getting help. Or, you know, compassion, which is supposed to be the Jedi version of love. So… The Sith suck. But the Jedi also suck. Not as much, for sure, but they are definitely guilty of some real fucked up things.

Now for the fun part!!!!! Rey, in Ep. VII, wins her battle against Kylo when she gets pissed. You can also see in that scene that when he’s overpowering her, you can see both the red and blue light reflected in her eyes, and when she closes her eyes and thinks “use the Force” and opens her eyes again, you only see the red.

What that piece said to me, and what this trailer and the poster say to me, is that “balancing the Force” means recognizing that emotions are not evil unto themselves, that you can love people and use that love to fuel goodness. Rey has the potential to balance the Force because she has already proven that she can harness emotion, be driven by emotion, and still use that for the Light Side.

Anyway, I fucking love Star Wars, meta is great, Rey can kick my ass any day, and if I’m right and these trailers are backing up my theory I am literally going to lose my mind.

“I didn’t even start gambling until I was 43. I thought I was mature, but I was as vulnerable as a child. I started going to the casino once or twice on the weekends. It was a social thing. I’d just play cards with my friends. But I had good luck in the beginning. I started to win. And I started to love it. I couldn’t wait for the weekend. Soon I started to go during the week. I’d work the early shift and I’d have all afternoon to play. I abandoned all my responsibilities. Once you start playing– you forget that you’re hungry, you forget that you’re thirsty, you even forget that you have a family. I lost the grocery money, the rent money, everything. Winning felt great. And losing made me need to win. I’d make up excuses every time I came home empty handed. I’d say that I was mugged, or that my work hadn’t paid us that week. Eventually I had to sell my car. I lost our house. I lost my wife. We’d been together for twenty years. I just took for granted that she’d always be around. The only thing that I didn’t lose was my daughters. They sat me down one day, and said: ‘Dad, either quit gambling, or quit this house.’ And I never played again.”

(Medellín, Colombia)

Okay I thought of something and it made me emo so I wanted to share it with you guys too so we can be emo together (that’s what skamily is for) 

You remember this? (well of course you do) 

well this clip just made me realise that this, everything Even is telling Isak that will happen isn’t just something that he thinks will happen because he is depressed. He believes it, because it’s happened before. It has happened with his friends whom he loved so much. 

We don’t know what happened but it is something so bad that not only hurt balloon squad but made Even think they hate him, made Even hate himself and that’s why he was so sure he would always be alone before Isak. Why he thought all he did was ruin things. Because he has before. He has lost everything before. and now it’s threatening to come back and haunt him and he is flipping terrified that whatever he did that was so bad to lose all the people he loves and trust, will take away the one person he loves and trusts now.


This clip broke my heart, because this face? it reminds me of the clip above. All the shame, self-hate, resentment at whatever led to him losing his friends. This face shows just how much he still truly believes that he hurt all his friends enough for them to hate him. He believes it so much that he continues to hate himself for everything he can’t change. He is so ashamed, so terrified of everything that went down with bakka and his closest friends to come back and destroy everything he has built between him and that incident. ugh it’s just. I feel like this clip and this entire storyline is so damn important because it’s proving that everything we saw with Even at the end of s3 hasn’t gone away just because Isak loves him. 

His self hate? the pain, this belief that he doesn’t deserve anyone because he just hurts them and ruins everything? ah god it’s still there and it always will be until he faces everything that created it. And so the bakka storyline is coming up to maybe hopefully push Even in the right direction of healing and finally self love and acceptance because that is what skam is about. 

dealing with everything you are ashamed of about yourself and finding love and acceptance within yourself. For Even that is no longer being ashamed of his past and his illness but accepting that it is a part of him and his story and he is even more strong, beautiful and compassionate because of it. He shouldn’t hate himself for things out of his control, and he shouldn’t be terrified of losing people he loves because of it. He is kind, smart, beautiful, and loved. his illness doesn’t define him. This is everything I wanted from an Even season, and just maybe we’re gonna get it. 

just maybe we’re gonna get to watch someone teach us how to love and accept ourselves again. 

I hope so

Also the fact that he asked about the boys made me want to cry because he so clearly misses them so much and he said it in such a,….sad way? I just I can’t. 

Especially when the boys reaction to Even’s name was this

I just… I want to protect my baby and take away his pain and worries. He still thinks that he is capable of hurting and losing Isak and I truly feel like those feelings are connected to the Balloon squad, who are connected to Sana who is our beautiful main. And that is how we are going to get Even’s self acceptance story after all. 

I’m sorry I told you this was emo. 

I’m tired of being sad and having no clue as to why I am this way, so I’ll write about the happy bits of me and why I smile. I dance when I’m alone, when the music gets just right and I’m sure that no one is watching, it’s okay to feel lonely, I used to not like the idea of it, but once you’re comfortable in your own skin even depression starts to feel like a breeze. I’m reading a book that says we are the beliefs and thoughts that we think and believe in. So if I say that I’m happy a thousand times, one of those will come back as true. So if I say I’ll find the love of my life some day, some day she’ll appear in front of me while I’m writing another poem. It’s good to have goals, the only goal I’ve ever had up until recently was to keep myself happy with someone else, that’s not a goal, but an illusion. You can’t live your life for someone else, it’s called your life for a reason. Happiness must happen when I say so, so I’m saying so. We bring into this world the kind of kindness that we’ve been dealt, so when I fake a smile, my mother is omnipresent. Although it’s not real, fake it until you make it, right? The book also says, spend more time doing things that make you lose track of time, so I decided to write again and more often than not, to not compare myself to others because once you start doing that, there’s no going back. I don’t write like someone else, I write like myself. I don’t think like anyone that I know, there’s just you and the beautifully twisted world, we’re all trying to find redemption inside of coral skies and trustworthy friends. I would break my own hand to contain my anger, it is contained. Happiness is what we make it, so if I say that it exists, then it will be so. Listening to your guidance, that makes me happy. You know who you are. Breathless to the words, you paint the sunrise with your pinky and promise that as long as I’m here today, tomorrow will not be filled with sorrow. I keep writing letters to the future person that I will be, I wonder if I’ll change. I probably will, we all do in one way or another. I’m the kind of person that snaps a picture of the sky while I’m driving, I’m reckless, but we’re still alive. Life’s too short and I need to be more careful, I’m certain that death has given up a few passes for me. Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time? Like there’s something trying to make a statement, a lost word that even google couldn’t even get its hands on. Do you ever feel like no one’s really listening? We’re all selfish in the end, but the ones that truly listen– they are the ones that I live for. I maintain online friendships better than I do with my siblings, I guess our thinking is just on different frequencies. On the topic of frequencies– the you that you would like to be is out there, you just need to listen. Hear the right words said by the right person and you’ll be in the right spot to be the you that you’d want to be in this life. Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Remember that thing I said about thoughts? Sometimes we just need to let go a little bit, embrace the art of it. To be left to the wind, the unknown will bring us to more adventures and you may not be loved by many, but there’s a chance that you will be– why not take it? I would like to break out of this, I want to smile more and to laugh a little louder, I just want to make myself proud of who I will be versus who I used to be. And you can’t turn back the hands of time, you cannot change your mistakes– they are permanent, but you are not. There is a fire inside of your chest and if you keep suffocating yourself with an indescribable pain then you’ll only suffer in a incomprehensible way. I just want to fill this world with more love and less pain, I see a butterfly and I’m easily distracted– how beauty will fly past you if you’re not even paying attention because you’re so damn sad all of the time. So I drop all signs of negativity and lean towards the positive, I am the only vibe that’ll alter my moods, so I must feel more wealthy than a million silver spoons even if I don’t have any, so I must create the art that likes to spill from my fingertips, we live such short lives– why not be the best version of yourself? Who will you be if tomorrow was your last day on this planet? Will you cry because it’s over? Or will you search the ends of the earth until you’ve found the fountain of youth? I’ve got a secret to share with you. You can be a 100 years old and still have the sweetest smile, you can be in your 20s and have a soul heavy enough to sink the titanic, life is strange, life is strange. We live our youth to buy pretty things, but live our oak days trying to make up more time– it waits for no one, the wrong turn will break you, a simple kiss will turn your thoughts into poetry and a life of self-hate is a road that needs constant validation– why not be your own way out? Be your own lover, be your own brand of music, be your own kind of poem, be your own story of kindness, and if you’re not perfect just look around– nobody is. I’m tired of dreaming, I want to build it instead. You can’t be who you want to be if you’re still having the same thoughts from last year– you can’t change or heal in the right way if you’re not willing to break a few pieces of your heart because the clutter inside of our minds often match the attitude that we give off. So like a quote, so like a poem, so like a bedtime story. If I repeat it enough times, I’ll be happy. I just want to be happy. I just want to let go of the bad feelings. I just want to love myself enough to see a brighter day. You can’t change the world if you can’t even change yourself, right? If I repeat it enough times, then it must be real. I will be happy. Sadness is a crucial emotion because without it, being delighted and euphoric wouldn’t be so dense, but that’s the beauty of the intensity to which we should love ourselves. I want to be so fucking glad to wake up today that it’ll just drown my depression into the white noise. I want to glow in the dark and live like the jellyfishes, give my poetry the immortality to always bring a smile onto the faces of those that love who I am even if I’m a bit flawed because at the end of the day– you’re the only one sleeping on your bed, you’re the only one who’s going to determine if you’ve got enough room to breathe, you’re the only one to have the last say if you’re art or not.
—  I wanted to write something happy for you–
yes, you. The person that’s reading this.
A Roaring Good Time

(I’m the DM of my group, we’re all inexperienced. I’m figuring out what we’ll need.)

Me: Okay, so I don’t have any figurines, BUT I have dinosaurs.

Friend: So does that mean i can have a level 5 velociraptor lightning mage, with extra points in charisma?

Me: ….

Friend: Or a level 7 troodon paladin, sworn to serve the saurian goddess of truth and light?

Me: *Laughing quite a bit*

Friend: Please let me make a spino bard. Please.

Me: Spino Bard: “Lemme sing you the song of murder”

*Both of us lose it, all group members say hell yes to the dinosaur substitutes.*

consider yuri being incredibly obnoxious bc of his crush on otabek

for the first few months of him realizing he’s in love he literally will not shut up about him. all attempts of conversation immediately go to otabek

“yurio hows your quad loop” “beka can do a quad loop perfectly katsudon did you know that” “yes yura i know”

his twitter is filled with vague tweets that leave all of the yuri’s angels dying

his password on his phone is ‘beka’ in numbers (”2352″)

if mila hears the word “beka” come out of yuri’s mouth she just sighs and clears up her schedule for the next two hours bc god knows yuri will not let her go until she knows all about what otabek did last week

eventually everyone realizes who exactly yuri likes from his vague tweets and the next time theyre in competition and beka says “davai!” to yuri the crowd LOSES THEIR SHIT

and yuri is incredibly embarrassed

but he doesnt stop

(especially when he founds out otabek likes him too, and that his PDA is even worse than yuri’s)