will hardring

i am thinking about moving back in w/parents (and have discussed it w/them)

reasons are money, also the fact they want to see me more before i go to liv w/ rob. also, it is harder to bing eat at their house. binging is bad lately.

also just generally self-care is hardr living alone.

on the other hand if i live with them everything is covered in jesus.

brains wherever i go

i am lucky in many ways but still sad

Honeymustard Collection 5

…I will cuddle you so hard

Red wiggled deeper into the formidable cocoon of blankets Papyrus had all but trapped him in. Warmth gathered at the surface of his bones and the pressing, dark memory of being under the ice began to seem like it had happened a long time ago. His head swam with remnants of Papyrus’s magic and he shook his skull in an attempt to dislodge the pesky swirls – they lingered stubbornly.

Red grunted in annoyance. Papyrus’s magic felt different from Boss’s. It was almost…tingly. Pleasant? But still foreign. Red flushed at the thought of Papyrus’s magic gripping his soul to drag him from the river. He felt invaded…and stupid, and childish, and guilty, and sick, and…

“Ugh,” Red squeezed his eye sockets shut, willing his spinning head to be quiet.

“You good?” Papyrus came into the living room from the kitchen, holding what looked like a mug of coffee in his hand.

Red didn’t dare open his eyes, hyperaware of the taller skeleton’s presence. He grunted noncommittally. Papyrus chuckled and squatted down next to where he lay on the couch, not missing the smaller skeleton’s flinch.

“That’s what you get for ‘porting right over the river, you dummy.” Papyrus teased softly.

Red flushed darker, if possible.

Shit, this whole thing sucked. Red figured it would have been better if he’d been dusted under the ice. Who knows? Maybe then he’d pop back up in his own timeline and be free of this mess. Boss would’ve found the whole thing pretty pathetic.

“Here,” Papyrus offered Red the mug, helping him sit up and readjust the blankets so he could take it. Red nearly spat the liquid back out when he eagerly took a large gulp. It wasn’t coffee. It was stupidly sweet and thick, but Papyrus was watching him expectantly so Red swallowed and tried not to gag.

“Hot cocoa. It’s Sans’s favorite,” Papyrus explained happily, motioning for Red to drink more. Red bit back a sigh and obeyed. No wonder everyone in this timeline smelled like sugar.

“God – you’re still blue.” Papyrus muttered, lifting a palm to Red’s crown. Red froze, the lip of the mug pressed to his mouth. Papyrus’s phalanges were warm from carrying the hot mug. It felt good on his frozen bones. Again with the…touching though. Since when had Papyrus become so interested in touching him? Aside from fucking, that was different. This was also…different. Red squirmed uncomfortably.

“And you’re still cold,” Papyrus said, dropping his hand from Red’s brow and furrowing his own thoughtfully. He contemplated Red for a long moment.

Red fidgeted under his scrutiny. “Heh,” he attempted a chuckle around the mug, “guess you could say…I’m frozen down to the bone, huh?”

Papyrus’s jaw turned up in a bit of a grin and Red relaxed a little.

“You know,” Papyrus said, standing suddenly, “I bet if I applied magic directly to your soul it would be more effective.”

Red nearly choked, “You wanna touch my soul? Shit, that’s kinky, Stretch.”

Papyrus took the empty mug from him with a cocked brow. “Don’t be so immature,” he scolded, “doctors heal sick monsters through their souls all the time.”

“Yeah, but you ain’t no doctor,” Red muttered.

Red stiffened when Papyrus dropped onto the couch next to him, uncomfortably close. The taller skeleton leaned back against the armrest and plucked at Red’s blankets, signaling for him to come closer. Red recoiled, aware of his naked bones under the blankets and the intimate significance of what Papyrus had proposed.

“What?” Papyrus laughed, “Shy all of the sudden?”

“No! I just…”

Papyrus’s long arms reached out and looped around Red’s tense shoulders, dragging him against his chest before the other had a chance to react. Red tried to scramble back but Papyrus hooked his legs around him and pinned him between his knees, effectively immobilizing him. Red yelped and flailed the one arm he’d freed to hold the stupid hot chocolate with but Papyrus snagged that too, pressing his phalanges into Red’s wrist firmly.

“Seriously, Stretch! Stop with the…” Red stuttered.

“With the what?” Papyrus brought his mouth within an inch of Red’s shoulder and neck. His breath warm on the other’s cold bones. “The…touching?” He kissed the side of Red’s skull with a soft click.

Red absolutely froze, his eye sockets wide.

What the actual fuck?

“Don’t worry, Red,” Papyrus said, “I’ll be careful. Now, show me your soul.”

Shit. Shit. Shit. Red’s head was really spinning now. When was the last time he’d shown another monster besides Boss his soul? Even in battle he kept on the defense, ducking and dodging while keeping his heart securely inside his ribcage. Besides, souls were private! He couldn’t just hand it over to this stupid, persistent, lazy skeleton who didn’t know the first thing about his timeline or how his and Boss’s relationship worked or…

“C’mon, Red,” Papyrus said, softer this time.

Red gritted his teeth. “Fine. Take it.”

Papyrus shook his head. “I’m not going to take it from you. You have to give it to me.”

“What the hell for!?”

Papyrus gave a little smile. Red wanted to smash his stupid skull in. Papyrus released Red’s hand expectantly. For a long moment Red tried to think of a way out of it, but the way Papyrus had him completely wrapped around his finger offered no alternatives. Red heaved a sigh and moved his phalanges, tugging his soul into manifestation with a soft ting!

“Ya happy now?” Red muttered.

Papyrus tried not to let his surprise show – he’d prepared himself for the worst, just in case, but this was…this was bad. Red’s soul was in terrible shape. Papyrus wasn’t even sure how the small, red lump of scarred magic was still functioning. But it was Red’s attitude about the whole thing that really concerned him, and confirmed what Papyrus had begun to suspect all along. Red literally didn’t know any better. This mutilation was normal to him. The thought squeezed in Papyrus’s stomach painfully and he had to make a real effort to stop the tremble in his hands.

Papyrus took Red’s soul, feeling the smaller skeleton tense against his chest. He tried to move slowly and gently, knowing how important this moment was if Papyrus ever wanted to help Red get better. He cradled the small, red heart in front of them both, his arms draped over Red’s shoulders, still cautious to hold him in place so he didn’t jerk around and accidentally hurt himself or anything.

Giving Red a moment to adjust to the feel of his soul in another monster’s hands, Papyrus mustered some of his own magic and allowed it to hum in his phalange-tips. Red’s response was immediate – his spine went stiff as a board and his phalanges dug into Papyrus’s femurs, a broken breath huffing from his chest.

Papyrus stopped quickly. “Sorry! Sorry…did that hurt?”

Red was panting, his eye sockets screwed shut.

“Red?” Papyrus pressed, worry cinching inside him.

“No…” Red grunted. Papyrus blinked in surprise, his worry fading when he noticed how flush Red’s cheekbones were. The smaller skeleton’s whole face was glowing. “It, uh…” Red stuttered, phalanges still curled into Papyrus’s femurs. “It feels…good.”

Papyrus almost laughed, but his relief was undercut by plummeting feeling in his gut. He’d barely touched Red’s soul and the kid had practically come apart. Was he really this starved for positive physical contact? What had his Papyrus done to him?

“Want me to stop?” Papyrus asked.

Red shook his head a little, mouth pressed shut.

“You feeling warmer now?” Papyrus ventured.

Red nodded.

“Okay,” Papyrus breathed. He coaxed the magic back into his hands, watching the light orange wisps rub and press against the knots and scars of Red’s soul gently. He focused on warmth, but didn’t stop a little presence of pleasure and happiness from slipping into his magic every now and again. He wanted to let Red feel so much more, but he thought it best to take it slow for now.

Red eventually relaxed into Papyrus’s chest, his fists uncurling until his hands rested lightly on Papyrus’s legs. The smaller skeleton’s ribcage lifted and fell shakily, starved pants transitioning into long, slow breaths. His eye sockets drooped and for a horrified second a tearful sting was present, but Red blinked it away rapidly. This was…

Red drifted to sleep with his soul in Papyrus’s hands and his face burrowed in the crook of the taller skeleton’s arm. The storm outside had slowed into a quiet snowfall. The only light was the flickering glow of soft magic. Papyrus held onto him – and his soul – the whole night.

@wifisignal YEA EXACTLY.!!…imn not really sure why tht is bbut i think the closest answr i can come to is to draw the viewrs attention more but tbh in my case ii think the bright colors make it hardr tto focus since evrything is all over the place……