Hokay I have stressed myself out and Charlotte is doing her best to cheer me up. It’s a tough job for a tiny bird, so I decided to help her out by posting a page scan of the most spectacularly WTF christian children’s book in the roughly four hundred years of the religious whacko genre since the invention of the printing press.
Remember that thing that came across everyone’s dashes a bit ago about the chick who told Dr Phil she was born into an elite pedophile ring? I called it an extension of the Satanic Ritual Abuse Morality Panic. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satanic_ritual_abuse) It spawned multiple coerced children telling judges that Satanists were, among other things, making them kill babies and spreading peanut butter on their no no bits and making other kids lick it off…just…
I also compared it to the Salem witch trials for the more and more ridiculous stories young girls kept making up in court that their parents actually fell for, ruined a bunch of innocent people’s lives so they could be the center of attention, and allowing “spectral evidence” as a valid form of testimony.
Anyway this is a children’s book spawned from 80′s paranoia. I don’t know about other church denomination but when I was little, I distinctly remembered there being little books or pamplets/Pockets magazines with stories like “Marci has Muscular Dystrophy sadface” and “Ricky Goofs off” wherein some character explained that Jesus loves everybody, including Ricky, as long as you repent and be a good little kid. (Or, if you’re one of those kids that grew up with Jack Chick, be tossed into the eternal lake of FIREE!!!! with everyone else who plays video games) This one is called is part of a series of books written by a two-woman author team with way too much time on their hands or mentally affected from consuming massive quantities of marijuana. That’s about the only explanation I can come up with that could possibly explain this series of increasingly wild and inappropriate topics for children This one’s called “Don’t Make Me Go Back, Mommy!”
I’m gonna let that soak in.
Anyway here’s the image in all it’s glory. The dialogue fluctuates between being irritating one minute, then rambling and incoherent the next.
i lied, i couldn’t stop at just one
This book is an entire nuclear holocaust of wrong
These women were deranged. Another gem from their anthology of specifically bizarre problems a christian child might encounter is called “DAVID HAS AIDS”