So, I’m not saying Lucien is trans. But Lucien is trans.
Lucien was 6 when he told Ernest he’s a boy. He was scared to tell him. Very scared even. He didn’t want their relationship to change.
“So, you aren’t a girl anymore?” Ernest asked and Lucien felt nervous, he fidgetted, not sure how to explain the situation to the other boy. “Well…I wasn’t a girl to begin with, I think. I just….didn’t realized it.” He wondered if what he said even made sense.
“Oh.” Was the only response he got before Ernest made himself comfortable under his blanket. “Oh? What’s that suppose to mean?” Lucien felt his tummy twist, Ernest was his best friend, he really didn’t want them to stop being friends. “Well, it’s good to know I guess? It’s not like it changes stuff, right?” The other boy looked confused, as if Lucien being worried was ridiculous.
“I don’t know?” He admitted. “A lot of people didn’t like my dad anymore after he realized he’s a man.” Ernest made a face, “That’s stupid. Why would they stop being friends with him? Your dad’s like the nicest person.”
“I don’t know.” Lucien felt lost, there were so many people angry with them when his dad realized it, even within their family. The only one not mad at them was Nana, his dad’s grandmother, who died two years ago. She always talked about hexing people who would hurt his dad and even showed him how to do it. Lucien missed her.
“So you still want to be my friend?”
“Well duh. If I wasn’t your friend anymore I couldn’t sleep in your super comfy bed anymore. Honestly though, my home is a dump dude, I need you.” Lucien snorts and Ernest gave him that huge grin he always had when he makes him laugh. Lucien covered himself with his blanket, following his friend’s example.
“Ernest.” He said as the other boy was drifting into dream land, causing said to blink at him owlishly, “Let’s stay together, forever.” Ernest smiled at him again. A smile that made butterflies flutter in his stomach. Lucien hoped non of this will ever change.
“So he freaked out because you told him you are trans?” Ernest asked, his head was lying on Lucien’s lab as if it was his own personal pillow. “Yeah, can you imagine? He hasn’t been around for over 12 years and he has the nerve to make a scene and to calim dad ‘infected’ me.” Lucien seriously was pissed. “What a dick. I’m glad I stuffed that potato into his car pipe.”
Lucien smiled, thinking back to the total mess that stunt caused. He was met with a familiar looking grin. Lucien stared for a moment, it’s been a while since he last saw that grin. It’s weird, now that he thinks about it, how long they have been friends now. Lucien didn’t really talk with any of his old elementary school friends anymore. Most of them started to abandon him after time, not all of them because of the fact that he is trans, but quiet a few had a reason related to it.
Ernest however, as he realized now, always stuck around.
“Like what you see?” His friend said suggestifly while wiggeling his eyebrows in a joking manner. Lucien felt his cheeks warming up, embarrassed about being caught staring like that. He shoves Ernest off of his lab, causing said to fall off of the couche. Ernest made a pained sound as his head meet the carpeted floor, “What was that for?” He asked, glaring up at Lucien. “You were being stupid.”
“Well gee. And here I thought we were having a moment.” The other teen pouted, Lucien felt another smile tugging on his lips. He looked at Ernest, actually looked at him, something he hasn’t done in years. Ernest, he realized, had changed a lot but somehow still stayed the same. He was still wearing a lot of orange, it was his favorite color since Lucien made him a orange hat when they were 8 and 9 respectively, but the things he wore are different now.
Instead of big sweaters and overroles there were hoodies and sweatshirts. He still always had something on his head, no matter the weather, but it was more out of fashion reasons or because he didn’t bother to brush his hair that day rather then it giving security like it used to when he was little.
His face was still round, he never really got ride of the baby fat, but now there was acne and little hairs above his upper lip. Puberty was a bitch, to both of them really. Lucien doesn’t think it really makes him look bad if he was honest. Ernest was still smaller then him and honestly, Lucien was pretty sure he would always be, but Ernest was stronger then him now. Lucien remembered when he used to protect him from their bullies, now Ernest is known to throw the hardest punches at school. Lucien was half sure the other boy could carry him.
His personality probably changed the most. He was bolder. More aggressive. Ernest was always a troubled kid but the last few years were pretty rough for him, having to accept that his parents wouldn’t try to make it work again, puberty really didn’t help the matter. However. He still was Ernest. He still would eat those disgusting pizza roles. He still would cry over cheesy romcoms, he still would pet every dog they come across only to immediately take off his shirt to shake the hair off.
Ernest was different and yet he was still Ernest.
“Hey dude, are you okay?” Ernest asked, probably noticing Lucien’s stare. Lucien thought, was he okay? Today should be one of the most shittiest days ever. His dad’s ex-boyfriend showed up, his biological father, he called him slurs and was just as shitty as his vague memories of him let on. But yet. He didn’t feel bad at all.
Not while Ernest is around.
When Lucien was 6 he hoped his relationship with Ernest would never change. Now he wasn’t so sure anymore as the familiar butterflies he was so used to feel suddenly became stronger.
“It’s nothing. Just….I’m happy you are with me today.”
Ernest gave him another smile. Lucien was done for. That much was clear to him.