wifi down here

Okay, I’m late, even with American time zones, but happy birthday @may12324 ! Her beautiful Willa Cousland with Leliana and Alistair

Watching Extremis for the first time

(Spoilers below)

-Who’s narrating?

-If you serve as executioners to everything… then you execute flies and mosquitoes and stuff like that?

-”The destruction of a Time Lord–”
 STOP RIGHT THERE, AND DON’T YOU DARE TELL ME THE DOCTOR’S GONNA BE EXECUTED.

-Holy shit the Daleks are actually an impressive race, they killed a ton of those Time Lords that are supposedly so hard to kill

MISSY??

-WTF

-”I didn’t expect you.”
 Well then who’d you expect, some other Time Lord who miraculously survived the Time War?

-Ah, gotta love them Daleks with their gossipy mouths, spreading rumors everywhere.

Why is his suit so worn. I’m concerned.

-”They can’t know I’m blind, Missy. no one can know.”

-HA

-FUCKING FINALLY

-SO IT WAS MISSY ALL ALONG

-CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THOSE HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS, MAYBE EVEN HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THEORISTS OUT THERE WHO GOT IT RIGHT

-”Please, I’ll do anything. Just let me live.”
 I…

-*phone notification jingle*
 wut

I DON’T LIKE THIS, I DON’T LIKE THE TITLE OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE COLOR OF THAT EMAIL, OR THE GALLIFREYAN LOADING BAR, OR THE GLITCHY GLITCH EFFECTS

Do all these people have fevers or is the weather just really hot??

-So I’m guessing he uses the shades to aid his vision now?

-Well, as long as he’s not completely in the black I’m fine

-”ve arrrre to com heerre dirrectly frrom the vaticaan”

-The pope???

-what is going on????!?!?!?

-”Pope Benedict. Lovely girl. What a night. I knew she was trouble, but she wove a spell with her castanets.“
 wut

-”The Pope doesn’t zoom round the world in the Popemobile, surprising people.“

-I am so confused and worried right now

I was kinda losing focus while reading the transcript of this episode and then BOOM, SUICIDE PICTURE FLASHES, WTF

-”Assume nothing. Assumption makes an ass out of you.”

-”I thought you’d moved out from here?
 “Yeah, slightly didn’t work out. Second attempt on the way.”

-”I don’t like knowing their names. I only get attached.”

-”Of course not. I have very strict rules about men.“
 “Probably not as strict as mine.”

-”Oh, I’m sorry. Here’s me thinking that she dragged some poor, terrified man home.“
 Poor lady doesn’t know what’s going on, but talk about getting out of a tight spot.

-My favorite scene in the episode so far omg

-Ah yes, Bill’s house pipes that always go VWOOOORP VWOOOOORP.

-”Well, whatever this is, and actually it’s not anything yet, it is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.”

Gotta love how them popes come with a pre-installed church organ sound effect

-I only understood one word that sounded like “Doctor”.

“You’re all going to hell.”

-I love Bill omfg

-”Pope Benedict said that you were more in need of confession than any man breathing. But when the offer was made, you replied it would take too much time. On behalf of the Catholic Church, the offer stands. You seem like a man with regret on his mind.“

-Well, that went down in a bad way…

The very fancy scifi watch hidden under the very fancy fantasy-ish robes

The Doctor suspects Darth Sidious is up to something.

-Nope, nevermind, that was Nardole.

oh

OHHH

-”Warning: I have full permission to kick your arse.”

-”Because I don’t like being worried about. Around me, people should be worried about themselves.“
“Yeah, shall I tell you the real reason?“
"No.“
"Because the moment you tell Bill, it becomes real. And then you might actually have to deal with it.”

-This episode is about as religious as Doctor Who gets, in my opinion.

…dafuq

-We all know who this looks like

-The library of Blasphemy, huh?
That’s quite some Hogwarts stuff there.

-”Harry Potter!”
THANK YOU BILL!

-"The layout is designed to confuse the uninitiated.”
"Sort of like religion, really.”
I can confirm this true, for reasons.
"You happy in those shades? Not dark enough for you?”
“In darkness, we are revealed.
Bill: When did he get so emo?

-”Well, take a few more minutes if you like. Knock yourself out. Actually do. Do that. Knock yourself right out.”
Pffft

That’s one great big hood you got there. But pray tell, how do you see what’s in front of you?

-well shit

-”Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.“
What?

-”You’d be wizard at writing Christmas crackers, you two.”

-I thought Christmas crackers were paper sausages with confetti inside them?

Alright, where’s the orange portal?

oHh my GOD

-FUCKING JUMPSCARES!

-”I think there’s someone in there.”
"Yeah, we are very slightly getting that.”

wHat TEH FUCk

-”Hey, there’s wifi down here!”
 “Of course there’s wifi. It’s a library.“

-”Reading chair with a safety belt?”

-Apologies if I seem to be taking too many quotes directly from the episode(s), but I just love the Series 10 dialogue okay

-THAT GUY SHOT HIMSELF

-”Because you’re sending us into the dark, after a man with a gun.“
 Not as dangerous if said man is dead…

-WEll Nardole got a little weird there

-Bill: *voice cracks* “nARdOLE”

-Nardole: *sees hand* *voice goes up by two octaves* “HIEWIEW”

That’s a pretty gun, but it wouldn’t do much damage in battle.

-”It would be stupid to go and look.” *goes to look*

-DON’T BURN THE DOCTOR’S BRAIN DON’T YOU DARE MOFFAT

-NOW THAT MOFFAT IS ACTUALLY WRITING THE EPISODES, I AM GOING TO BE DOUBLE WARY OF EVERYTHING

WHAT?!?!!

-WHAT THE EVERLOVING RASSILON FLIPPING A TABLE ON A HARLEY DAVIDSON?!?!?!

THE PENTAGON??

the flipping kind of videogame portal hub is this

Meanwhile, in another part of the world, aliens freak out as a bald head pops outta nowhere from the wall of their living room.

-”Cardinal, it worked. I can see.”
 Yes!

-”Not well enough, not yet.”
 Okay…

-”The thing about the universe is, whatever you need, you can always borrow, as long as you pay it back. I just borrowed from my future. I get a few minutes of proper eyesight, but I lose something. Maybe all my future regenerations will be blind. Maybe I won’t regenerate ever again. Maybe I’ll drop dead in twenty minutes.”
 NO!

-”You know, I’ve read a lot of books that this chair would be quite useful for. Moby Dick. Honestly, shut up, and get to the whale.“
 omfg

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD OF GROOT AND A SILENT

-”This is not a game.”
 “This is a game.”

-Why is that CERN scientist so excited, and more importantly, why does he seem drunk and why is everyone in the cafeteria so gloomy?

WELL THAT ANSWERS THE LAST QUESTION

Reading a legendary script on Microsoft Word.

-(On an unrelated note, I was saving these screenshots and naming them as each alphabet. The one right above happens to be Z.)

-(Could be some other text program but that’s what I think)

-So the screen was getting blurry not because the BBC didn’t want us to commit suicide but because the Doctor was going blind again

-GEEZ THOSE MONKS ARE CR-REEPY ASSES

-THEY’D DO WELL IN A HORROR GAME

Don’t you dare tell me the whole first half of Series 6 was set in a fake world or virtual reality or something like that

-Were those white things all portals to a virtual world

-At least Bill and Nardole got out safely.

-”Are you okay?”
 “nOOO - Yes. NooO

“Could be the Doctor.”

-Let’s hope not

-Let’s really, really hope not.

-”They’re projecting everything.”
 CALLED IT

-AND THE PEOPLE IN THE HOLOGRAMS REALIZED THEY LIVE IN HOLOGRAMS?!?!

-But what if??

-What if our lives are really just holograms

-(I went on Omegle to get a stranger to think of a random number, but ended up answering questions about English)

-(This one person was asking “what does ‘single out’ mean”)

-”You know, like the holodeck on Star Trek, or a really posh VR without a headset. Through there, those places, that’s basically Grand Theft Auto.”

-More and more references each episode, huh, BBC?

I uh… happened to pause here so…

-”Please don’t let me be right.”

-Oh shizzles

WHAT IN THE NAME OF A RANDOM DALEK

-NARDOLE IS NOT REAL??

-WHAT IF BILL ISN’T REAL??

-WHAT THE EFF??????!??!?!

Why did the blood change color?

-’Total communication blackout at the White House’? hat happened?

-Did all the people in the White House commit suicide and how did the Doctor come here?

-Ah, the portal yes…

-cold fraggling shizzles…..

-”The Veritas tells of an evil demon who wants to conquer the world. But to do it, he needs to learn about it first. So he creates a shadow world, a world for him to practise conquering, full of shadow people who think they’re real.”

-OUR WORLD IS A SIMULATION GAME FOR HIGHER BEINGS, CONFIRMED

The screen ‘popped’ a bit here - it shook a little as if it zoomed slighly in then back out very quickly, accompanied by a tapping sound as if someone had knocked (into) it. Not sure if others saw this too or if it’s something with the site that I’m watching this on.

-Okay, I’m watching the Doctor explain this shit to Bill, and I’m having about as much of a crisis as Bill here

-And then the Super Mario mention though

-Please don’t tell me the past six episodes were holograms

-”A puppet Doctor for you to practice killing.”

-The Doctor Puppet account was worried about that line, yes

-Was that the email he got at the beginning of the episode??

wHOA chill please

At least the last six episodes weren’t all fake.

-Then when did the hologram-reality start?

-”It means I’m a scary, handsome genius from space and I’m telling you no, she’s not out of your league.”

-”I have the feeling that we’re going to be very busy. Call her tonight.“
 Aww

-I hope Bill actually gets a girlfriend sometime this season

o i   g e t   o f f

-wHAT

*insert relatable quote about Monday mornings*

Some fast fingerwork there… NO I DID NOT INTEND TO SOUND LIKE THAT

-The guy is becoming uneasier by the second

-I don’t like the whirring sound??

-How are they gonna move her to the box in the middle of the water

It ends here?!

-Oh yeah right… They’re supposed to be a three-parter. Followed by another three-parter to finish off the season.

-Welp, looking forward to the next episode and possibly a lot more things to freak out over!

Title: Conspicuous Cheekbones 

Characters: Bruce Wayne x Reader, mention of Dick Grayson

Word Count: 1.5k

Rating/Warnings: T (swearing)

Summary: Despite how awful he is at doing so, Bruce tries to break it to you that he’s Batman

Request/Notes: || The reader takes care of Dick Grayson and lives in the Wayne household

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

That is...a really good idea. Good job finding a good hiding spot. I would join you, but I kinda have to go to the hospital with burns. Thanks for the offer though

Ive been doing an ispection of the sewers and now i just lost so if you could help that’d be great. And the wifi down here isn’t that bad

Agents of SHIELD characters as @dril tweets
  • Daisy Johnson: youll never shut me the fuck up , no matter how many times you unfollow me, you will never shut me the fuck upon here!! get lost Cyber scum!
  • Phil Coulson: another day volunteering at the betsy ross muesum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
  • Melinda May: my followeres, who all hate me, and wish to kick my ass, are nobodys, and they lack the combat training to injure me, because theyre infants
  • Jemma Simmons: YO *points to spinal cord on brain diagram* THATS THE BRAIN;S DICK
  • Leo Fitz: oh, youvve read a few academic papers on the matter? cute. i have read over 100000 posts.
  • Grant Ward: my uncles caught me searching "can i still join isis if im racist" on the family computer & are now withholding all holiday treats for 2015.
  • Antoine Triplett: "i wish they got, WiFi down here" - guy who died in the paris catacombs
  • Bobbi Morse: Have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard
  • Alphonso Mackenzie: MYTH: my posts are for the Pauper REALITY: my posts are for the Prince
  • Lance Hunter: someone please get me in touch with the little boy who died & went to heaven. i want to astral project him into my ex-wifes castle for intel
  • Mike Peterson: i enjoy a bit of "Humour" every now and then, but people seriously need to sotp tying me to a chair and injecting me with unknown substances
  • Raina: the wise man bowed his head solemnly and spoke: "theres actually zero difference between good & bad things. you imbecile. you fucking moron"
  • Kara Palamas: unfollow me if you hav e ever done or thought about doing war crimes. i dont want war criminals shitting my feed up
  • Andrew Garner: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset. ME: I agree
  • Maria Hill: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • Victoria Hand: i shall say this only; ive ended peoples careers by reporting them for "Ironic" typos & spelling errors., i do not give a shit. im a warrior
  • John Garrett: stealing valor by purchasing fraudulent military gear from etsy,. parading my insane loadouts in front of our vets as they hurl abuse at me,
  • Calvin Zabo: pal the only "meltdown" im having is my ice cream melting down into my hand while I lay on the beach & laugh while thinking about the trolls
  • Lincoln Campbell: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc
  • Hive: me and a bunch of stupid assholes are going to start a community in the middle of the desert to either die or prove a very important point
  • Anne Weaver: let me be very clear: i would rather attend a Pig's wedding than attempt to sift through the dumpster you people have made out of my dm box,
  • The Koenigs: if you're ever wondering if im some other guy, the answer is yes, im him, unless it's bad to be him, then im not him, im a different person
  • Jiaying: I WILL REGRESS INTO PRIMAL FORM AND SHUN MY LOVED ONES IN ORDER TO POWER UP MY CONTENT !! I WILL GET RE-BLOGS AT ANY COST !! AT ANY COST !!
  • Joey Gutierrez: im the guy who ruined Columbus Day by saying he had slaves, and im ruining Back to the Future Day too by saying the film is rife with incest
  • Elena "Yo-Yo" Rodriguez: *slams king james holy bible shut on a piece of pepperoni with mayo and onions stickin out * And that is how u make a truth sandwich
  • James/Hellfire: dont worry ladies, im not one of those"Bros" who talks to girls about sex stuff. anyway, i have an entire bra stuffed in my mouth right now,
  • Gideon Malick: i can only hope that when a kangaroo court of dipshits comes to haul me to prison that i have the grace and humility not to get mad at them
  • Giyera: Sovereign Citizens Getting Owned Compilation
  • Rosalind Price: i get in my car and 100 men smear their asses up agsint my windshield and doors. Unbelievable. I'm late for work. This is clownish.
  • Glenn Talbot: UNITED NATIONS: ah!! please help us! we need just a normal man's opinion!! we got you a seat ME: How'm I to trust you, while God is bleeding
  • Holden Radcliffe: committing unforgivable crimes against nautre in my laboratory ,trying to create the next genetically discombobulated meme animal
  • Daniel Whitehall: argh.. (shakes fist) Damn you White people !! ha ha, but seriously though, most whites are actually highly intelligent, and resourceful,
  • Sunil Bakshi: shut the fuck up and kick my ass
Creepypastas in Hell:

Jeff: Just to be clear, I’d be a way better Satan than you…

BEN Drowned: Is there Wifi down here?

Laughing Jack: Why am I here, I didn’t do anything wrong ?!?!?!

Eyeless Jack: How am I going to survive.. no kidneys…

Slenderman: Jeff, fuck off.

Smile Dog: *barks of encouragement towards Jeff*

Sally: *spots other demons* Oh hi, do you want to play with me..?

Request: Big T-Shirt

Request: Can I request something? A dean x reader where they have a flirty relationship. Sam and dean are out on a hunt and leave the reader back at the bunker for whatever reason and she walks around in a big Baggie t-shirt and dean walks in and sees her and flirts with her. The reader doesn’t blush but goes along with it and it somehow ends in them kissing. No smut just kissing!! Thank you!! :)

Word Count: 710

Here it is, I hope you like it! Thanks<3

“I’ll see you guys soon. Stay safe.”

You end the call, placing your phone back down on the table. After your (somewhat extensive) injuries acquired on the last hunt you were deemed unfit to join in and therefore stayed back at the bunker, safe, poised for research and mad recon trips.

You push yourself up off the couch, admiring the still purpled bruising, dancing across the top of your foot, over your ankle and snaking up your shin. You’d had a bit of a rough time on the last hunt, with the demon using you as leverage/bait. This, in typical demon fashion, included being tossed against walls, thrown around like a ragdoll, and, obviously, from the darkened bruises around your wrists, being tethered to various objects. This resulted in, a now healed broken rib, a lot of bruising, and a minor concussion.

While the guys are out, instead of getting dressed properly, you just hang around in this humongous t-shirt you found a few years back. It’s like… it totally swamps you. The neckline, meant to be a crew neck, instead hangs off one shoulder if you’re not careful. It reaches your mid-thigh, more like a dress.

You turn on the TV, flicking through the channels in the hope that there’s something on other than terrifyingly smushy serial dramas and terribly contrived quiz shows. Left unsatisfied, though, you leave in search of something more interesting to do. The WiFi isn’t good down here, it’s like the guys took all of the good signal with them.

You wind up in the library- not reading, just perusing the books you’ve not been able to get a look at before. Some of them are incredibly intriguing and you make a mental note to set some time aside to read them.

That’s when you hear the door open, then close.

Sam and Dean aren’t meant to be back for another hour.

You slip out of the library with the intention of making it to a weapons room of some sort, then you hear the voices.

“Where is she? She said she was here!” Dean says. You can hear him walking through the bunker, “Y/N?”

“I’m here!” You pad through to the hallway, greeting them with a smile, “You’re early.”

“Less traffic than we thought.” Sam says, but Dean is merely staring at you, somewhat slack-jawed. You raise an eyebrow and smile.

“Oh, well. Not complaining.” You grin, turning away- you’re fully aware of the fact that the shirt appears shorter from the behind. “You guys want coffee?”

“Sure, that would be great.”

You go off to the kitchen to make some coffee, and after a moment, you hear footsteps behind you.

“Nice shirt.” Dean says. You grin to yourself, before straightening your features and turning around.

“Thanks.”

“You should wear it more often.” He grins. You laugh.

“I’m sure you’d love that.”

“What can I say? I’m a sucker for pretty girls with no pants.”

You roll your eyes, “How come I’m not surprised?”

He takes a step closer to you- you’re barely a foot apart at this point and you can see even the details of his eyes and feel the warmth radiating from his body thanks to his insulating multiple-layer clothing.

Almost ever since you met the brothers, about seven years ago, you’ve had this ongoing flirty relationship with the elder of the brothers. Neither of you ever acted on it- not really, but recently… recently it’s felt like it’s something more than just a little joke around.

“Really, though. You look good.” He reaches out, twirling a strand of your hair around his finger. You smile, raising an eyebrow.

“Join the club, sunshine.” You grin, leaning slightly closer to him. His eyes widen momentarily, but he then leans down, and ever so gently, presses his lips to yours.

It’s almost experimental, but when you place a hand on his cheek and lean your body closer to his, the kiss deepens.

“Seriously, you two! I’m so glad for you or whatever but, please, private!” Sam’s exasperated tones sound from the doorway and you both laugh as you pull away.

“Sorry, Sam. Won’t happen again!” You call, but Dean only laughs as his arms go around your waist and pull you closer.

“Maybe.”

Starters Based On Things I’ve Actually Said On This Blog
  • I got like six Fruitopias I’m more than hydrated enough for all these tears.
  • Knock knock, who’s there? ETERNAL DAMNATION.
  • Apparently, I’ve woken up in Hell.
  • Oh, how deceptive looks can be.
  • None shall survive my reign of terror!
  • Why do you have grenades?!
  • This is a wonderful miracle.
  • Rejected for a bunny. You poor, poor soul.
  • Hear that? That’s the sound of my heart breaking.
  • Observe my collection of nerds.
  • Halt your shenanigans at once. 
  • Bow down to the Squadess!
  • I’m leaving to re-evaluate my life. …. And find soap.
  • I would give you a chance to pray, but no God will accept prayer from the likes of you.
  • Nobody cares how many individual grains of sand are in the universe!
  • Those cantaloupes are for the children!
  • In truth, I am… Twelve ducks in a [man/woman/person/etc] costume!
  • There’s too much sin in this place for your gods to cleanse!
  • You’re small. No.
  • If pigeons had feelings, they’d love you, too.
  • Seriously, send help - there’s not enough wifi for MapQuest down here.
  • The threat has succumb to its own sins. 
  • I know you’re not made of plastic, and i don’t believe I’ve touched you.
  • It feels like Hellfire and shame. 
  • How many of your favourite activities are legal?
  • I am the best dancer - I once did Just Dance and didn’t break anything.
  • Nothing will ever trump my love of ____ with food strapped to their chest in lingerie. 
  • It’s like a bomb dropped in here and it wasn’t my mixtape.
  • I almost regret complaining about all the porn. 
  • Humanity has triumphed upon this day.
  • Congratulations, you’ve done what the entire military couldn’t do in a matter of seconds. 
  • I refuse to damn myself any more than I have to.
  • While we’re on the topic of exchanging goods, would you like your arm back?
  • Or do lick _______’s face, I’m not a cop.
  • There’s no room for puppies on the path I walk.
  • You don’t even know this fresh can o’ worms.
  • No, but, as a priest, I can help you find a chess set with plastic men.
  • Knees to chest, friend. Knees. To. Chest.
  • My mother would’ve doused me on holy water.
  • Call a priest. 
  • Godspeed, then. Purify his sin with tiny plastic men.
  • I- Suppose- Chihuahuas?
  • I’ve reached the peak amount of done.
  • You should fight them.
  • I’ll forgive you for not having much of a frame of reference. 
  • Sarcasm is foreign to you, then.
  • If there’s one thing I’ve learned today, it’s that whispering ‘porn’ is the best way to make friends.
  • I would prefer you not mock the domains of Gosh.
  • You’re so salty I could throw you in a tub and call it the ocean.
  • Darn them! Darn them all to heck!
  • Even I am not righteous enough to cleanse this much sin.
  • There is no justice in this world.
  • Nothing will hurt you when you’re with me. You don’t have to be afraid.
  • They’ve hurt you before?
  • I’m not a plant. I would die.
  • Did you just lick the entire desert?
  • I know you’re refusing to speak to me, but I have zilch regrets.
  • If I ever become a judge, I’m judging everything with canons.
  • No, you foolish angry parsnip.
  • This entire situation is sin.
  • Even the Devil is allowed his sense of irony.

*slams fist on table* iM READING THROUGH ALL OF THESE GF POSTS OF EVERYONE (THE CHARACTERS) BEING HAPPY AND HAVING A HAPPY ENDING AND THE SERIES TECHNICALLY BEING OVER AND EVERYTHING SINCE BILL CIPHER WAS FOUND AND NOW IM LOSING IT IN A BATHROOM STALL AT WORK

anonymous asked:

Considering your name is Michael all I can imagine is the hot archangel running a porn blog about his brothers and his vessel

You’d be surprised how good the wifi is down here in hell.
~Michael

dril fiona

“listen fuckwit. if you dont want me pissing all over the floor and walls of your circle tower then make our freedoms. bigger”

“ THRIEE SIMPLE RULES FOR SPEAKING TO ME OF MY AFFAIRS REGARDING MY INTERACTIONS WITH THE WARDEN’S…  STAND DOWN !! GET IN LINE !! FUCK OFF !!” 

“someone please. ive gulped into some nasty darkspawn blood and I don’t know how to spit things out of my mouth. ivr never spit before and i need help” 

“ MYTH: my posts are for the Rebel REALITY: my posts are for the Revolution”

“i wish they got, WiFi down here” - templar who died in the kirkwall catacombs”   “alistair theirrin is the best man for the job… and for that he has earned my vote.  however, i believe  he needs to “Check his priviledge” “

“THINKING ABOUT WHEN DID “MAGIC IS MADE TO SERVE MAN” BECOME “ WOULD YOU LIKE TRANQUILITY WITH THAT” “