wife of jesus

  • Hamilton: i'll overwhelm them with honesty!
  • [later]
  • Hamilton: i had an affair
  • Everyone: oh, wow I-
  • Hamilton: she slept in my bed while my wife was gone
  • Everyone: jesus, ha-
  • Hamilton: but she didn't sleep, if ya know what i mean ;)
  • Everyone: seriously dude-
  • Hamilton: nothing new though, i used to do it with Laurens too
  • Everyone: Oh My goD HAM-
  • Hamilton: He was rougher, more kinky
  • Everyone: FUCKING STOP CHRIST OH MY-
Beggin' For Thread (Bucky Barnes x Reader) Request! ❤

A/N: To the lovely anon that requested this brilliant idea!! I loved writing this because boxers in general are super comfy and look hell sexy, too. Especially on Bucky Barnes! :D Hope you guys like it!! ENJOY! - Delilah ❤

Beggin’ For Thread: Reader steals some of Bucky’s boxers during laundry day. But when he goes to her for comfort from a thunderstorm he gets a surprise.

 Warnings: Sex (M/F). Hurt/Comfort. Angst. 

Keep reading

Who answering, said to them:

Have ye not read, that he who made man from the beginning,

Made them male and female?

And he said: For this cause shall a man leave father and mother,

and shall cleave to his wife, and they two shall be in one flesh.

Mt. 19:4-5

To my future husband, lets spoil our kids with the word of God and never leave them wondering who Jesus is. Let’s lead by example and love our children unconditionally the way christ loves us. I promise to stand by your side as you lead our family closer to God. I’m so excited to have a family of our own! I love you even now. Love, your future wife.
—  anonymous 
3

requested by @pearltheartist <3
prompt:
  Married Richie x reader where they’ve been married for 3 years already and Richie starts to get jealous of a new coworker
a/n: your drawings are very cute!

if you like my stuff and want to support me, don’t forget to treat me to a KO-FI! take part in the 7K followers gift HERE!

MASTERLIST.

With a heavy sigh you pinch the bridge of your nose, “For the love of—Richie. Richie he is just a co-worker.” You explain for the umpteenth time. Your husband that, and you see this happening for the first time, is extremely jealous refuses to listen to common sense and logic, simply fixes his glasses and glares into the distance. And it was such a nice October day, too. You had decided to bring Richie to your workplace and show him around – he has a free day today and he had stated he wanted to spend it with you, - and one of the newly employed workers had commented how pretty you looked, and oblivious to the fact that Rich will not appreciate it, you had beamed a brilliant smile and replied a lovely ‘Thank you’.

“But did you see the way he looked at you? Did you? Because I did. I don’t trust Whats-His-Face. Keep an eye on him. Or better yet, I will keep an eye on him. I’m influencer. I can hire a bodyguard—“

“Rich.” Your nerves are on the verge of breaking and in a fit you hook your hand with his and make him look at you, “Are you being serious right now?”

“Hey!” He fumes, “I have the right to feel angry when some douche targets my smoking hot wife!”

“Jesus Christ…”

“I know I am, and the Bible says you have to listen to Jesus so I’m telling you now, (Name), that man is trouble.”

requests are open!

things i remember happening in kid gorgeous

‘vancouver, the hollywood of canada!’

‘when they taught us about stranger danger, they said ‘dont talk to any adult you dont know!’… said the adult we dont know’

‘brush your teeth- BAM ORANGE JUICE! thats life, kid!’

‘so i was sitting with my mom, eating a triscut and staring at the ground, so i did what any sensible person would do and said ‘youve ever seen a ghost?’ and she said yes. she said that when i was young, there was a small girl who would walk in the hall in front of my room and evaporate. after my mom said this, my dad yelled ‘LETS CHANGE THE SUBJECT!’ and i know dads do that, like when they dont like how boring a conversation is, but it sounds like he murdered the girl.’

‘i was watching old tv shows, because im asexual’ *i fucking kid you not he said this, im still debating if that was ironic or not*

‘you know, police sirens nowadays are kind of? funky in a way? they sound like *mimicking modern police sirens for 40 seconds* its so weird! it sounds like theres a dj on that police car, or maybe its like 2 police cars having a conversation. but old police cars sound like *mimicking old police car sirens for 50 seconds* its like an old gay cat dying slowly.’

‘i want everyone to like me, its the worst. my wife says its like walking with someone whos running for the mayor of nothing.’

‘i was at best buy, but i didnt seriously buy anything but i didnt want to be rude so i ended up buying a cable cord i didnt need. i walk to the checkout, the cashier looks at me and says ‘do you have a best buy members card?’ and i said ‘ha! i wish!’ and my wife said ‘jesus christ’ OUTLOUD, walked over to the tvs and stood there.’

when john said miles in one of his skits, one of the audience members yelled out ‘its KILOMETERS!’ so john just got really tired and said ‘i cant… change things. like, in america we have donald trump, here you have rob ford.’ and for like, 5 minutes, he mocked the audience member like ‘oh? tim hortons? dont you mean *in a ridiculous accent* DUNKIN DONUTS???’ and the whole rest of the show he kept on referencing that

‘everytime i walk into a room, i have to bend down and say ‘knock knock! can i come in?’ i physically have to SAY knock knock.’