wife it up

I’m your future wife should you enjoy:

Laughter
HGTV on at all times
Watching sunsets off the back porch
Naming wild animals (I use Henry a lot)
Cuddling
Holding hands
Peanut Butter on waffles (it’s sooooo good)
Dogs (I have 2 fur babies)
Driving with the windows down
Silly puns and quick wit

ETA: football, soccer, and hockey

// I was here before as Kevin around Christmas time but had to leave due to some issues but I should be back for good now. This is definitely the best group I’ve been in and I really wanted to come back.

Just a quick thing: I am playing Kevin as having no kids or wife.

Also, I am up for any plots whatsoever! Friends, enemies, frenemies, romantic relationships, anything. Just send me a message and we can work something out. 😊

True retail story…
So I work with formal menswear and yesterday a guy and his wife show up a half hour before close. He’s being a real dink, so bad that his wife tells him to quit it. His response, “I’m just trying to make her smile.”
So I hand him the clothes to try on and he looks at the pants, then gives me this leer and asks, “Should I try these on? ‘Cause, I’m not wearing any underwear.”
His wife groaned, but I just smiled politely and said, “That’s ok Sir. Neither was the last man who tried them on.”

anonymous asked:

MY WIFE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE I LOVE YOU. WE LITERALLY STARTED TALKING BECAUSE YOU MESSAGED ME AND TOLD ME I WAS THE B TO YOUR V. FORVER DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER. WHY DO YOU LIVE SO FAR AWAY???? I WANT YOU NEAR SO I CAN GIVE YOU HUGS. xxx -Your sick and drugged up Wife who is definitely annoying but oh well. I hope you smiled 💕

I LOVE YOU TOO MY WIFE. NEVER DOUBT IT. AND I KNOW RIGHT? THE DISTANCE IS UNBEARABLE 😭😭 BUT ILY AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS.


AND HECK YEAH I SMILED.
(PS: WHY ARE YE SICK AND DRUGGED UP LOVE??)

picture wife logan who used it to get into the US because he didnt own property 

logan’s “husband” was a rich widower who was the owner of a steel production company chain who thought he’d be “exotic” and get himself a japanese wife who ended up choosing the feisty one who, surprise, was not actually a girl and immediately stabbed him in the throat with his bone claws 

lol anyway if anyone ever saw this picture he’d kill them because he found it so demeaning

8

modern disney aesthetic
↳ aladdin

4

@natvanlis: Tickets for @ClexaCon are going fast! See you in Sin City next weekend kitties. ✌🏻

“Hey everyone!  I just wanted to send you this quick video message to tell you how excited I am to be attending Clexa Con, the very first Clexa Con.  I’ll be there next weekend in Las Vegas of course on Saturday March 4th and Sunday March 5th.  Make sure you follow them on Twitter and Instagram @clexacon and check out their website so you know when and where exactly to find me.  And I will see you in Sin City.  So many queer ladies under one roof.  That’s going to be a wild trip.  Byeeee!”

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“You’re going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well.”

My honest review of Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Dark Side of Dimensions