wibby wobbly

anonymous asked:

Can you imagine little Darcy wanting to try on her daddy's glasses?? "Aw lovely, you look so smart in those" MY HEART x

MY HEART. 

Maybe she doesn’t know the word for ‘glasses’ quite yet, so she calls them his ‘eyes’. 

It’s early in the morning and Harry pads down the hall to go wake her up. Rumpled pajamas he’d plucked from the floor, hair pillow mussed, chin a bit stubbled, and his frames slid onto his face because it’s early and his eyes are still adjusting to waking. And there’s a big ‘good morning’ cuddle as he unwraps her from her blanket nest and brings her into his arms. Tiny arms looped around his neck, where she nuzzles in for a moment, because he’s warm and his scent is comforting and familiar. 

“Hi there, my little love,” he’d say, as he brushes her bedhead back from her face and presses three quick kisses to her cheeks. “Did you sleep good?”

She nods,  reaching up to pat at his cheek affectionately. “Daddy, I try your eyes?” she asks in her little voice, fingers reaching further to touch the frames. 

He can’t help but to giggle as he pulls off his glasses and carefully fixes them over her ears. “There you go.” They hang nearly halfway down her cheeks, magnifying the brilliant green of her drowsy eyes. She smiles proudly. 

“Whoa,” she coos, and as she looks around curiously, the frames slide up and down her nose. 

Harry chuckles. “Does everything look a bit funny?” 

“Yeah. Wibby-wobby.” 

“Wibbly-wobbly,” he repeats with a laugh. “You look very clever in them, lovey. Like a little professor.” He bumps the tip of his nose to hers. “Can Daddy have his eyes back now, please? Need to be able to see where ‘m going!” He gingerly slides his glasses from her face as she gives a huge yawn and a nod, settling them back in front of his own eyes. “Thank you. That’s much better.” 

“Got your eyes,” she hums. 

“Yep! Now I can see how beautiful you are.” He smushes his lips to her neck and blows raspberries against her skin, glasses pushing up towards his eyebrows as she shrieks with laughter. Tiny fingers fisting into his hair.  

“Should we go make Mumma a coffee and then come back up for a cuddle all together? Does that sound good?”

“Okay.” She’s already on her way to dozing off again, cheek pillowed to his shoulder. He smiles softly and kisses her forehead, careful not to disturb her. Thinking just how lucky he feels that this is what he gets to wake up to. 

The big pregnancy post  - EDITED

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh dear, here we are, we have arrived at the big - huge in fact - pregnancy post. Hope this reaches you before we venture deeper into the dark chasms of our show romance and SH reveals the divine purpose of her descent to Earth and provides us with Holy Somebody Cumberbatch. It is exactly this time last year when SH was spotted first in the vicinity of BC. How time flies when you’re having fun?
So let’s get to it, here’s the history of the longest, weirdest pregnancy known to man kind.
Just recovering (together with BC) from the shock of the Gag announcement on the 5th of November, TIG premiered on the 17th November NY,

then we had an appearance at the London Evening Theatre Awards  on 30th November,

and the Hobbit premiere the next day.

On all of these pictures SH is looking, well, not pregnant. All the dresses she wears have floral details, if she were pregnant, that would be a clever way to disguise a growing bump.

The Gag announcement and all these appearances were in line with  the US promotional tour of TIG starting 7th November, TIG UK release - 14th November - and US release -28th November and the Penguins of Madagascar Release -26th November.

Things changed on 7th December at The British Independent Film Awards by SH wearing a very ‘difficult'  leather effect dress:

Everyone would look pregnant in that number, right? Instantly comments like 'She’s sooooo knocked uuuup!!!!!’ appeared, and  we’re still discussing it ever since. Let me just say, 3 days after these shots were taken and people + the tabs started to talk, the SAG nominations were announced, TIG got a wider release in the US and Golden Globe nominations were announced the following day.
Next we see them only on Christmas Day in Edinburgh in a crowded church, conveniently photographed from the back – so we can’t say if she is showing or not.

That day TIG got a full wide release, 4 days later Oscar voting commences.

Now, things get better in January.  

3rd January: the Palm Spring International Film Festival, SH appears to be sporting a small bump with help of cheeky tailoring (removing the front panel of the original red-carpet dress) and arching her back.


BC, just as at the time of the engagement seems to be caught off guard, surprised. Some say this picture shows the wtf moment when he realizes he’s been publicly fucked over.

7th January we get the confirmation in the DM. We all thought fanning the flames of pregnancy rumours have always been on the cards but this? Something went wrong here (is this the moment when SH went rogue?)
The Golden Globes was one week later. 11th January SH appears on the red-carpet in a dress with a large flowy bottom and big pockets, she looks flatter then in Palm Springs and keeps fluffing up the dress all night, so she looks bigger in the front. They are still using floral patterns to cheat too.That night an entertainment reporter questions the pregnancy on record. Hm…

BC only confirms the pregnancy interrupting Alan Leeches interview after TIG lost all the awards.
Now after this BC disappears until the Baftas, and we have four pictures of SH during this time:
28th January in a Chanel shop looking huge, wearing lots of layers, 29th January with Anna Wintour on a Valentino Fashion show, where she is described to have a nascent bump and we have the pictures that were released on a website later right around from the time of the Sherlock shoot at the end of January, looking huge again, wearing lots of layers. Just to confuse us even more later we got the Vogue photo-shoot from around the time of the Valentino fashion show, appearing to be nascent and then 5-6 months along on the same day of the shoot! The Bafta voting cut-off date was 4th February.

8th February - Bafta Awards. BC re-appears again and SH suddenly from nascent goes to appearing about 5-6 month along, waddling in a backless dress, yanking BC’s hands off her back. There are also some mysterious horizontal lines on SH’s back that gets people talking. Is she wearing  a prosthetic? This is when some of us really start to doubt the pregnancy.

How do you go from nascent to this within 9 days? Hm..


What is this supposed to be? An optical illusion?
Right. Moving on to the day after the 'wedding’ pictures 15th February, 3 days before the Oscar voting cut-off -  SH turns up in a potato sack 24 months pregnant, clearly pushing out the front of the coat with her hands. What an embarrassing display!

One of my favourite pictures comes next: after the ‘wedding’ our ‘couple’ is heading to the US. SH is visibly quite small at departures at Heathrow and then emerges much bigger at arrivals in LA:

As the paps are snap, snap, snapping away, one women (possibly a pap?) asks while the cameras are on: ‘Sophie, are you pregnant?’ Hm…Here’s the gif with SH and BC are reacting hearing to the question:


After that: moneymoon take 1, just before the Oscars – road trip and whale watching – a strapless dress on SH, beach ball bump which is carefully adjusted at a petrol station, and lots of layers while whale watching. Hm…very attractive.


Weistein do - 21st February – starry dress – padded boobs after a lot of people notice her well…the not so swelled ones on moneymoon take 1.

Next: Oscars 22nd February– again about 5-6 month along, daring dress, no sign of discomfort no sign of weight gain – bump slightly deflating when sitting down and the curious case of the ever wandering bellybutton (did that pop 3 months ago and she’s still pregnant?– curious indeed!).


Moneymoon take 2 – end of February. Now this is our favourite! Within a few days SH shoots from 5-6 six months to 7-8 months! Big-big mistake they made here! We got a lot of blurry pictures of the naked bump (well, we asked for bikini shots) and clear ones where the bump is covered.

Airport on the way home - according to the DM the bump is only a hint now, it is hard to see because of the top she wearing, but eagle eyed skeptics notice, she is wearing the same top and skirt from years ago and now heavily pregnant the fabric falls over her tummy the same way. Hm..curious…

Let me just remind you again, how the bump changed within five weeks:

Few days later in the Palace - 10th March, yet again she’s sporting a huge bump, the DM agrees and we are left, yet again, confused.

Letters Live 3rd and 5th of April – the bump deflates again, visibly SH doesn’t care about pregnancy wear – everyday clothes will just do covering that champion whippet-like figure of hers – still no weight gain, taking deep bows.


What’s next? Primrose Hill pics? 21st May? I think yes. Yet another big mistake – as many of us screaming 'stay low’ – SH power-walks through the lovely streets of Primrose Hill with the same belly size as 3 months before at Bora-Bora.

So should we summarize? 

Quite interesting : BC’s been  checking the bump quite a few times …worried about the belly falling off or what?

We can see now that apart from being the weirdest up and down gestation, this is a very well timed pregnancy: it might  help to get into tabs, get personal publicity for the award season, but unfortunately this totally overshadowed the purpose – publicize TIG. Is someone here having a personal agenda?

So what is it? Some believe, it’s an oops, BC believes it is not, some say surrogate, some believe the pregnancy is fake. I am with the latter – for all the above reasons and the following:

Reasons against real pregnancy other than the change of size up and down: bump seems to be an accessory, no visible emotional connection, BC seems depressed when mentioning it and uses distancing language when talking about the child, BC, a publicly affectionate guy does not show affection for the apparent love of his life who’s carrying their first child (Oscar red carpet show off does not count!), Wanda W uses distancing language when talking about it saying that the Oscar nomination is the most important thing, none of his known close friends congratulate them on twitter mentioning their names, no weight gain, due to SH’s age she is classed as high risk however she takes multiple long-haul flights during the award season and later to Bora-Bora, she goes on long road trips, whale watching rides on boats that don’t allow pregnant women to take the trip, seemingly in third trimester she goes to Bora-Bora, with no jabs (pregnant women don’t get it- correct me if I’m wrong and you can’t return to the US if you don’t get it – and they did return to LA) where there’s a warning for a disease outbreak, she is sunbathing that is not recommended for pregnant women, she is drinking on parties.

So what’s with the due date? We heard several versions of the timeline, they keep changing it to fit their purpose. Oops Somebody would have been born by now, BC’s version could make Cumberfetus stay in up until July, though poor little sod has been in there for 11 months already! Fake camp will never know of course that is was fake – but they know that the ending will be a big lie.

So the fake camp some say the bump is prosthetic. Prosthetics can be convincing, look Penelope shooting a film with a fake bump

Hm..very convincing…This on the other hand? 

Not so much. Whatever this is.
(two different shapes and sizes on one day or maybe a few days apart, much further along then a few days before at the Oscars?)I mean, no offense but how come a fake pregnant belly in a film is more convincing than SH’s very-very much for realz pregnancy? It’s a mystery, isn’t it? Hm…'Up, down, up, down, round and round, wibby wobbly timey wimey!  That’s one crazy tiny/big some kinda baby!’ (quote from benedicts-third-testicle ) All in all, the only thing that you can say on that pregnancy is

Whatever this whole thing is, the inconsistency, the parading of it makes me think the pregnancy is a stunt, wasn’t thought through, it was sloppily executed  making BC look ridiculous in the process, just like every other aspects of their 'relationship.

We can go round and round in circles, screaming she’s not pregnant, nans can kick and scream, she is sooooo pregnant, we will never know the truth. We will be presented with one version of the truth or a complete lie, and then we can decide what to do with it: accept it and continue to support BC’s projects or refuse to be force fed lies, move on and stop being a fan.
As Spin Anon said, every move of this relationship was for public consumption, so is the pregnancy – but how far will they go to save their names from the big mess that it has been all along? This is not Hollywood which is big enough to disappear and cover up secrets, this is London for God’s sake, everyone knows everyone…if they trot out an actual child BC’s rep will be very tarnished within the industry and the fans I’m sure - will he go that far to save face? If it is true and in this moment SH says 'you’ll pay for this’ well, he most definitely will…he already is…

(This post couldn’t have been done without the excellent timelines made by http://the-snarkle.tumblr.com/ and the amazing comparison pictures by benedicts-third-testicle )