why do horror fans come in like two varieties

1. shitty racist 15-30 yr old white dudes that will make you jump through hoops to prove you like slashers

or

2. awful ‘uwu i draw what i want evil sjws cant tell me no’ types

like damn i just want some decent people to shoot the shit about nightmare on elmstreet with, not have a discussion why shipping lesbians with men isnt bi erasure, karen

lemonbird  asked:

IMPORTANT QUESTION. Vampires aren't suppose to enter a premise without being invited right? What if a hermit vampire was living in his falling apart old castle and some fuck bought it as a "fixer upper", would the vampire just glitch out on to the lawn or would he be okay since he lived there before?

Okay so this would depend on where you are in the world, and whether or not they had squatters rights (can’t be evicted and can apply for legal ownership of place once they have been there for X amount of years) but I mean, the dude owns the place, even if it is a run down mess he was still there first and there’s probably some ancient land ownership law which can’t be overwritten by modern laws (you find all sorts of weird things are still technically legal cause no one bothered to update the books since 1645) so basically whoever just bought this castle to turn it into a modern fixer upper, congrats, you also just bought yourself a vampire and he’s not going anywhere.

(Also now I kind of want to write this where a family buys it to turn it into a hotel/wedding venue and the kids find the vampire in the attic and he ends up being the weird uncle who gets roped into hilarious wedding related shenanigans?? Like 


“Okay yes fine, you can host weddings here, but registrar only, no religious ones.” 
“But Theolodious, why?”
“Really Sharon, really, do I have to spell it out for you. Really.”

*

“We really should increase the lighting for photographs, what about skylights?”
“No.”
“But—”
“How about I just set all of you on fire while you’re trying to sleep.”

*

“Please, for the love of god, please don’t let people throw confetti or rice, I’m begging you.”

*

“Okay what’s our final head count for the night?”
“107.”
“Are you sure?”
“Did I fucking stutter Steve?”

*

“Uncle Theo, why does the groom have “help me” on the bottom of his shoes, why is everyone laughing?.”
“Because small one, humanity has failed collectively as a species and heteronormativity is a constructed lie designed to oppress over half the population for not conforming to arcane and chauvinistic ideals put in place by dead scholars who have long since turned to dust and have no place influencing modern society.”
“…”
“Permanence is an illusion.”

*

“Madame, flattering as your offer is for a quickie, you’re not my type.”
“What is your type then?” ;) ;) ;)
“O negative.”

*

“Whoo, what a day, I could eat a horse.”
“Same.”
“…”
“…well obviously I’m not going to.”

*

“Theo…are you…are you crying?”
“Yes.”
“You big softie, I never thought someone like you would cry at a wedding.”
“…I’ve lived a long life, Sharron. People come and go, the christening you bless will be the funeral you mourn in less than a century. But people keep saying “I love you”, that has to count for something.”

hey you know that scene where jared’s like “hey evan wanna hang out this weekend; my parents are gone and their liquor cabinet hasn’t been used since like rosh hashanah 1994, so we can drink, like, whatever we want.” and he says it so nonchalantly. as though he and evan drink together all the time. i think about this a lot.

When the otp are already making out and doing cute shit in chapter 1 of a 40 chapter fanfic and angst is tagged. :)

2

#oh god you can see how scared his was to look inside the room #and he actually have to look away #he can’t stand to see what “he” has done #he must feel so guilty #can you imagine alec having to wash the blood of his hand #he always try so hard to do what it’s right #and even knowing that he was posessed and that it wasn’t his fault this probably is killing him #and when they are watching the video #that ‘oh my god’ that he says #as if there was this little part of him that against all evidences was hoping that it wasn’t his posessed body that has done it #god this killed me #can alec please catch a break??!!!