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MORE disturbing kids’ books

@anira8884 I never read this book thankfully bc I just googled it and…this is horrifying???

also I’m making this into its own post bc THERE ARE SO MANY DISTURBING KIDS’ BOOKS, FRANKLY. feel free to share your own traumatic ones, but these are mine (some of which I was delighted by, not traumatized, but are still weird):

A Wrinkle in Time….firstly, weird fuckin book about creepy kids, creepy space centaurs, chummy tentacle monsters, and most horrifying of all, still terrifies me to this day is this giant brain (as in, literal disembodied pulsing brain) called IT which takes over people’s minds. WHY ARE THEY MAKING A MOVIE FOR THIS I DIDN’T NEED THAT. i’m not putting an image for this bc u don’t need it either

The Phantom Tollbooth. Specifically, the faceless man character called the Terrible Trivium who, SparkNotes now tells me, is a literal demon who forces ppl to do menial tasks for eternity, great. SLENDERMAN GOT NOTHING ON THIS DUDE.

On a lighter note, do y’all know those Bunnicula books? GOD I LOVED THOSE BOOKS. VAMPIRE BUNNY WHO SUCKS VEGGIES DRY, COMEDIC GOLD, 10/10 i owned the entire boxed set no regrets

The Chronicles of Narnia because SPOILER ALERT i think the biggest plot twist of my entire life is still the fact that they all dIED IN A TRAIN CRASH WTF CS LEWIS I GET YOUR HEAVEN ALLEGORY BUT I DONT LIKE IT. i also own this entire boxed set too and there’s some weird/disturbing stuff in all the books, pretty much. Especially the stuff with all the witches (the Green Witch literally enslaved a prince as her puppet for years), and the dying world of Charn or whatever, yikes, also like if you consider that the animals can talk and are as sentient as humans then the books get REALLY messed up.

The Graveyard Book. I love Neil Gaiman but the beginning of this book is literally a boy’s entire family gets brutally murdered and it messed me up bc i was way too young hahaha good book but like damn

The Stinky Cheese Man & Other Fairly Stupid Tales (actually rly good & funny books but the aRT STYLE, WHY, IT’S LIKE A RANSOM NOTE IN CHILDREN’S BOOK FORM, PLEASE SCROLL THROUGH THE IMAGES)

The Tale of Desperaux. Yeah that animated mouse movie except IT WAS DARKER AS A BOOK TRUST ME. the whole PREMISE is messed up - a runty mouse is outcast from his family and falls in love with a human princess, he talks to her and his own mice family BANISHES HIM TO THE DUNGEON where I’m pretty sure he wanders around in the dark, death imminent, until he finds a creepy blind jailor who bribes him and makes Desperaux tell him a story before he frees him (this jailor later STARVES TO DEATH), then this country girl is literally SOLD to a dude who beats her until she’s nearly deaf (I distinctly remember the books described her ears as cauliflowers) and she has delusions of being a princess and later cuts off Desperaux’s tail and kidnaps the human princess in the dungeon and GOOD BOOK BUT ALSO WHY. WHY.

come to think of it, kate dicamillo just liked to fuck us all up, she also wrote because of winn-dixie and a book called The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane which is basically about this china rabbit doll who gets dumped off a cruise ship and goes through a cycle of owners including a 4 yr old girl with tuberculosis who i’m pretty sure dies. 

anyway, LONG POST BUT IF YOU HAVE ADDITIONS, BY ALL MEANS, ADD EM

How Come You Never Smile (practice)
Tuiteyfruity
How Come You Never Smile (practice)

“How Come You Never Smile?”
The parody of to accompany “Let Them Burn”, which both go with my Frozen AU plot “Inferno

This needs a lot of context:

Elsa with fire powers did injure Anna, and her parents had to make a deal with a devil to get her to forget, to get everyone to forget (fire powers were harder to hide, so the whole kingdom knew).

Elsa didn’t hide in her room, but the themes of “conceal, don’t feel” are the same. Elsa’s feelings are so volatile that to keep everyone safe she completely shuts down all emotion.

Since “Let Them Burn” is about rage and anger, “How Come You Never Smile” gives us a glimpse of where most of the bottled up anger came from. She is so emotionless that it’s scary, to anna, to her parents, to the kingdom, people try to get a rise out of her, they tease her, and they get angry at her for not reacting (even though she is doing it because she thinks it keeps everyone safe).

The song begins with Anna just being confused, and trying to figure it out.

As they get older Anna is getting more annoyed, but still has hope. However, Anna is tackless, to the point antagonizing and teasing.

Their parents die (which Elsa blames herself for), the whole kingdom mourns. But Elsa remains completely unemotional, she doesn’t even address her people in regards to the tragedy. Anna just can’t believe it.

CONTEXT GIVEN!

Lyrics:

How come you never smile?
I know you can it you just try!
You always have this constant glare
And just seem to stare.
It’s like you’re not alive.

We used to be best buddies, and now we’re not.
I wish you would tell me why.
Come on I’ll make you smile!
It’s so weird you never smile.

-Just stop it Anna-
-Ok fine-

Just tell me what you’re thinking!
To my sister I appeal.
I think it’s eerie that you never cry,
Or laugh or sigh.
It’s like you cannot feel.

We used to share our feelings,
The good and bad, now
I don’t even bother to try!

Please just tell them something.
I don’t care if it’s all lies.
They say “the princess, she’s emotionless.
She will not care for us, she never has”
I thought that you should know,
The things they say about you.
I’m starting to believe they’re right.

I can’t believe you ever smiled,
In your life.

hahhaha OKAY SCHOOL it seems entirely plausible, given the level of overlap in the requirements, that I can plan for a double major in (molecular/cellular/developmental biology) and (ecology/evolutionary biology), so that I won’t be barred from upper-div coursework in either department, and complete it in four years starting now. but this would be simpler if we just had, you know, a unified biology major. and bluahsdkjlhf it will get exponentially harder starting next year because organic chem and physics and calculus (totally took that in high school; totally don’t remember it) and basically I should prepare to die but also SCIENCE.