why. oh why

ryden 94/365
you don’t even understand how much i love them.

The Cat and the Lost Jewelry

Erin’s post reminded me of lost jewelry/feeling panicky while searching. Which unearthed some memory long forgotten.

When I was little, but not really that little, but I guess little enough to not understand sentimental value, I dressed my babysitter’s cat up in my babysitter’s jewelry. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway. The cat didn’t enjoy the experience, got spooked, and ran. And ran and ran and ran. It was gone for hours and came back with no jewelry on. I guess it was my babysitter’s graduation gift and was very special.

For weeks (months?) after this happened, my mom would say (out of the blue, usually while we were driving somewhere in the car and I couldn’t escape the guilt trip), “that was Sheanneva’s graduation jewelry!” or “I can’t believe you would put someone’s special jewelry on a cat.” I would cringe, hate myself a little more, and think about how cats are stupid.

Now that I recall this memory though, Sheanneva was getting paid to watch me. And she wasn’t watching me. So. I mean, I still feel guilty, but not the immense guilt and shame I used to feel.


so I FINALLY was able to see Spider-Man: Homecoming tonight and AGH, the feels. That sounds like such a teenage thing to say, but the angst that Holland builds up in this movie is so intense, so I don’t mind. Holland’s Parker is fresh and real, burning with fire and brimming with passion to go and save the world as an Avenger (which, god bless that childlike faith in an organization that he doesn’t even realize is completely broken rn). Peter is loveable and so so kind, and all he wants to do is impress “Mr. Stark.” Who, while we’re on the topic, is SUCH a dad in this. I love it. It’s- he’s literally struggling through parenting, basically, because this is the first time he’s actually taken anyone or any project this close under his wing in forever (I need not remind you of how Ultron went). All he wants is for Peter to grow up better and stronger and kinder than he did, so that he’ll be safer in their increasingly alien world.

So. Now, I have to say this. One of my favorite parts (of many) in the movie is when (SPOILER ALERT) Peter says, “If you cared about me, you’d be here right now.” and Tony just immediately, without a second’s passing, steps right out of that suit, staring down Peter Parker like, ‘how dare you say I don’t care’, even as if Tony’s wounded by it. Tony cares about a lot of things, most especially people, or else he wouldn’t be here, he wouldn’t have been part of civil war, hell- he might not even be Iron Man. And I love how Peter, being met with this glaring show of affection and devotion, just backs away and backs down (he was standing so close to that suit, getting right up in its face) because for once, someone in the MCU is instantly, undeniably met with Tony’s silent screaming, “I do care!”

So yeah, I loved Spider-Man and Tony Stark is slowly becoming his dad and I am 100% here for the love and devotion shining through both of them. And, I can’t wait to see Spidey in the MCU again soon!!!