Harry: You continue to scroll. Why? You have no idea. You can’t even remember what brought you to his tag on Twitter, but now you’re lost in it. You scroll through pictures of the many different and colorful shirts he’s been donning over the last few shows and can’t help but smile. He was having so much fun up there being himself, and everyone around him was loving it. “What are you doing?” You hear from behind you, jumping a little, startled by the sudden break in silence. Sydney was behind you, arms crossed for effect, and a smirk on her face. “I’m not doing anything,” you say, slowly closing your laptop, knowing she had already seen what you had been looking at. “Doesn’t look like not anything. Do you miss him?” She asks as she walks around the breakfast bar where you are seated and into the kitchen. “Of course I miss him, the old him.” “I thought you said he was getting better after that call last week?” You pause to think about everything that’s happened in the week. Harry had been very apologetic over the phone when you finally answered his call. He had also continued in asking for forgiveness by sending you the biggest bouquet of flowers with a note attached that read: ‘I know you don’t like things like this, but put them on the coffee table and deal with it. H’ There was no denying that he knew you better than you knew yourself. “He is, but I’m still not convinced that he’s back to the Harry that was around a few months ago.” “I don’t think that’s it,” Syd reveals, and you look up from your twisting hands, a nervous habit of yours when you were unsure. “I think you know he is back to being that person, but you don’t want to believe it because it is easier for your emotions to be upset with him than it is to allow him back in.” You have no intentions of telling her whether she is right or wrong in this matter. She’s just trying to be a friend though. “I don’t know,” you admit, not leaning in either direction she had mentioned. “Oh come on, I haven’t been around for long but I know the two of you were not meant to be living like this. Apology after apology because you can’t make up your mind on whether or not to accept that the person on the other end loves you more than pretty much anything.” She’s right, she hasn’t been around for long, she doesn’t know absolutely everything between you and Harry. She knows that there is another girl involved, but she doesn’t know that that is the girl that had been chosen over you more times than not. She knows that upsets you, but she doesn’t know that you cry most every night now because you still don’t have your best friend back. She knows how badly you want things to change, but what she doesn’t know is that you actually blame yourself for absolutely everything happening between you now. Maybe you were supposed to be together. But he had pushed it so much that you couldn’t do anything but say ‘no’. At least that’s what you told yourself. You didn’t want to ruin a friendship for a relationship. But didn’t it seem like you were already in a relationship with him? You had most people convinced a lot of the time. You get up from the barstool, not saying a word to Sydney as you walk back to your bedroom. You close the door and walk past the bed, going straight to the empty corner of the room. A corner you had left bare for moments just as this. You press your back to the wall and drop to the floor, curling your legs into your chest. The tears come next. This was your crying corner. The one you are in every single night because your life has taken such a terrible turn. In another world, this wouldn’t be you. You wouldn’t be crying, you would be happy, if you would have just said ‘yes’.
Liam: “Cardiff!” He shouts and you smile. You haven’t gotten lost in tour videos just yet this time. You had been sent this link literally thousands of times and had just gotten up enough courage to press play. “How are we feeling tonight?” He continues. The crowd screams in response and a bright smile stretches across his face. “Good, good. Alright, this next song is a special one,” he begins. “Wait, since when do you introduce this song?” Harry questions, interrupting. “Shush,” Liam snaps quickly and Harry turns around with a sad look on his face at being scolded by his bandmate. The crowd awes at Harry’s sadness and Liam laughs. “Oh, don’t let him fool you, he’s a mean ol’ chum.” “Am not!” Harry turns around quickly in defense. “Can I PLEASE, just get through with this?” “Now you know how I felt the other night,” Louis adds with a smirk. Liam shakes his head and turns back to the crowd. “Okay, anyways, where was I at?” “Special song!” One of fans shouts from the crowd. “Right, yes. This next song is very special. It’s about loving someone so much but not really being able to be with them, but you are still willing to go through absolutely everything to make it happen. All you want is for that person to be happy, because that’s what is going to make you happy, and you know that if they are with you, that’s when they’re going to truly be happy.” The crowd screams at his introduction. “That was beautiful, mate,” Niall comments, wiping away a pretend tear. Liam rolls his eyes. “While we all sing this together I want you all to remember that being truly happy is what life is all about. Do whatever it takes to be happy inside and out. This song is for you.” The music starts and the crowd cheers. As they sing, you are left to think. If there was ever a song of his that matched the situation between you, it would absolutely be this one. You can’t help but think about Mark in this moment though. He seems so friendly with Liam, but what would he think about this? Surely he wouldn’t just brush it off, like he did Liam’s comments about you being taken away from him. You listen to the rest of the song and smile as they boys jump around and sing their hearts out, Liam especially. It is easy to see he is meaning every word. The video ends and you sit facing the replay screen. There is no need to watch it again, you got the message loud and clear. Liam doesn’t think you’re happy, that you’re fooling yourself into happiness with Mark. Liam thinks he can do better. He has always thought that. You have only ever been able to get good things out of life, but with Liam you get the best, or that’s what he thinks. You will admit that you miss him. You miss the phone calls from across the world. You miss the adventures he used to take you on. You just miss the companionship. Liam has been by your side for as long as you can remember, and you can’t deny that not having him around hasn’t been easy. He would love to hear you say all of these things. He would eat them up. You know that all he wants is for you to admit that your life is better with him in it. But you aren’t ready to admit that to yourself, much less him. You close the laptop and turn from the desk, removing the earbuds and getting up from the chair. A sleeping Mark still lay in bed. You look at the clock. You should have been asleep hours ago. You’ve been doing this for over a week now. You’ve just not been able to sleep. So you go on the computer, starting off with recipes and DIY sites. Somehow though, you always end up on YouTube watching Liam. It never fails; it always ends with Liam.
Niall: You thought your flat was nice, but this one is incredible. “Why do you want to renovate?” You question as you look around the space. “I need it a little bit more modern,” Stephen says from the kitchen, pulling a bottle of wine from the cooler. “But this is so lovely,” you comment, looking over all of the exposed brick and traditional features. “Well I’m hoping you can keep it lovely, but make it more modern for me,” he explains as he hands you a glass of white. “Thank you,” you say, not thinking twice about taking him up on the offer to drink while surveying. “Okay, first thing’s first, what is your main priority?” You question, sitting your things down on the kitchen table before taking a seat to begin your notes. “You,” Stephen answers, sitting down next to you. “Renovation wise,” you push, choosing to ignore his comment. “To get you here as many times as I can to look at my apartment but to really get you to see that you enjoy spending your time with me, and eventually you will just start coming over here without any reason because you know I’m the obvious choice.” “Without any reason,” you repeat slowly, scribbling in your notes and playing along. He said these things so playfully, yet you know how serious he was about them. “So let’s start with the kitchen. What are you wanting done in there?” “You,” he responds, his eyes directly on you. “What I’m thinking is a white subway tile for the backsplash, with a white quartz countertop, since you say you’re over the traditional look.” You’re doing your best to ignore his stare. “Sounds fine,” he replies, but you know he more than likely didn’t even hear what you said. “Well before I fully get into this, we need to discuss my budget.” You look up from your notes and of course are met with his eyes. They weren’t horrible to look into, you have to admit that. “There isn’t one,” he reveals and your eyes grow wide. “What?” “There’s no budget on this project, you have full reign over everything, finances included.” He sits back, proud of himself that he can provide you with such leeway. “Are you serious?” You question, still unsure you had heard him right. “It’s all yours, babe, do whatever you want with it.” He holds his arms out and you take another look around the space. You have the freedom to turn this place into whatever you want. He’s giving you a blank canvas. “Isn’t that what you designers dream of?” He inquires with a smile. “Yeah, kind of,” you reply as your own smile slowly spreads across your face as you realize what he is giving you here. Your mind is going over a million different ideas, every single one just as amazing as the next. “Want a proper tour?” He asks and you come back to the moment. “Yes, please.” Your eyes lock onto his again and neither of you move from your seats. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He inquires, and you know your cheeks are turning. They always give you away when you’re around him, it never fails. “Good moisturizer,” you tease. You are trying your best not to take his advances seriously. He shakes his head. “No, I think it’s a little more than that.” You know he’s getting closer to you, you can clearly see that. The only problem is you aren’t moving back. Your eyes are still on his as you watch his stare trail down from your eyes and lips and back up. Your heart is racing, and you are certain he can hear it because your entire body is pounding. His face is beside yours now, his lips brushing past your flushed cheeks to meet your ear. “How about that tour?”
Louis: You had thought a day would have been enough time for him to cool down after finding out about you checking in on him behind his back. It clearly wasn’t though. It’s been a week and you lost count with how many times you’ve been trying to get ahold of him. He’s just being stubborn now. Surely he’s forgiven you by now, but you know how long he can hold a grudge. You grab your phone for the final time tonight. He has to answer this time. This has been going on for a week; it’s time for it to end. As the rings pass, you pray he realizes this. Nothing. The rings send you to voicemail. Instead of hanging up like you usually do though, you continue the call. You have to get this out. You wait for the tone and take a deep breath before speaking. “Listen, I’m not sure why you are refusing to talk to me. It’s been a week, and you know I meant absolutely no harm by talking with Liam. I just wanted to make sure everything was really and truly alright with you. What’s so wrong with that? I understand that to you it came across as me not trusting you and I am here to say that I absolutely have faith in everything you say. I love you so much and the last thing I want you to think is that I don’t trust you. I promise from this night forward to not check in with Liam anymore, and to not question anything you tell me in regards to how you are doing. I was just worried at the beginning, but now I realize that I have nothing to worry about. You being happy makes me happy; that’s all I want. So please call me whenever you can. Or at least answer when I try and call you in the morning. I love you so much. Please, do not ever forget that.” At that you end your message and sit the phone down. That isn’t exactly how you wanted to go about telling him how you were feeling, but he gave you no choice. You don’t want this kind of relationship with Louis. The rollercoaster of drama was not healthy for any relationship. All you want is to know that he believes what you are saying to him. You want him to know that you care about him so much, surely he knows that though. You’ve proven it to him so many times. Anger almost comes over you, but you quickly push that back. You can’t be angry with him. He’s been there for you through everything with your family. And even before having to come back home he was there for you, telling you that everyone outside of your relationship did not matter. So what kind of girlfriend were you to bring Liam into the picture? You feel terrible. You almost want to call him back, just to leave another message to say you’re sorry. That wouldn’t help anything; you’re sure of it. You put your phone on charge and crawl into bed. You aren’t sure why though. You haven’t slept in a week. The idea of it was so foreign. You push the covers down to your hips and sit up. What if this continues? What if he doesn’t accept your apology? How are you meant to be without him? You’re already losing your father; you can’t lose Louis, too. The thoughts entering your mind bring tears and the tears turn to sobs. You bury your face in the covers, not wanting anyone else to hear you. The last thing this house needs is another sob story. You settle in to cry for another night. Not having Louis around was tearing you apart, and you had brought it all on yourself. Trust was one of the biggest parts of a relationship, and even though you hadn’t realized it, you had shown Louis that you did not trust him to tell you the truth about his own feelings. You hurt him, and now he was hurting you.