[text] I wish I could just be like everybody else.
[text] Then, maybe I wouldn’t feel so lonely.

[draft] Do you think I could find somebody to hurt me online for tonight? I want to suffer. To be cut with a hot blade, to be thrown into a wall and choked and reminded about how little I matter. It keeps the thoughts away.

A slip of a finger. He meant the backspace.

[pending] Do you think I could find…

[text] Do you think I could find somebody…




Someone please explain to me why this fucking idiot can literally pull shit like this and I still find him attractive

How to find out what band member is a girl's favorite
  • She:[reblogs a pic of band member with sweater paws] [tags:] omg cutie
  • She:[reblogs another band member biting his lip] [tags:] wow hot
  • She:[reblogs third band member laughing adorably gif] [tags:] awh baby
  • She:[reblogs her favorite band member just standing there with an expressionless face] [tags:] OH MY GOD FUCK ME HE'S SO HOT I WANT HIM TO THROW ME AGAINST A WALL AND DO NASTY THIGGS TO ME THIS SI TOO MUCH FOR ME TOHANDLE SOMEBTOE STOP HIM WHY IS HE LIEK THSI
She ain't heavy.

The first porn star I met after I moved to LA was shocked to find out I wasn’t in porn also. Her attitude was sort of “then why are you even here?” When I told her I was a comedian, she was amazed. It was like telling a regular person you’re a porn star. She asked to hug me immediately.

The first stripper I met was also thrilled to find out I am a comedian. “How do you get up on stage and do that??” She asked, wide eyed, pulling dollars out of her bra. She had just been kicked out of her apartment because her roommate had decided her boyfriend thought the stripper was hot.

The first Playboy playmate I met thought being a comic must be “so tough, as a woman.” Later she casually told me about the girls in her high school who had scratched a slur into the hood of her car. It was her family’s only car.

When I was in college, my freshman year acting teacher made me stand in front of the class while he gave me “feedback” on my scene. The feedback was “Eliza, you have to understand, you are very very sexual. You’re just a sexy person. You need to embrace it.” I was younger than everyone - I had just turned 16, and was definitely a virgin. That teacher also offered to work with me outside class and even called me in my dorm room a few times, for no real reason. The guys in my class thought it was gross and asked me if I was ok, but the girls in my class didn’t really talk to me anymore. So I became friends with the boys. This wasn’t the first time things went down like that socially, and it wasn’t the last.

Feminist writing often includes some variation on the idea that the “worst kind of women are the ones who are mostly friends with men.” I always hate it. The two types of women that are apparently still ok for other women to hate are “sluts” and the “guy’s gal”. Because both seem to benefit from male power. But maybe it isn’t that these women choose men over women. Maybe they are often cast out by women and have to choose between loneliness and male companionship, in one form or another. And yes, that male companionship is often loaded - someone might pretend to be a friend just to get into your pants, but honestly does that sound any less lonely?

That “girl who is only friends with the guys?” Maybe she got boobs before everyone else, so was labeled a whore in 5th grade. Maybe her mother was abusive and she learned that women want to hurt her. Maybe she got raped and the dude covered it by telling everyone she is a disgusting slut, so girls stopped associating with her. Maybe she is loud and has a problem controlling her impulses or detecting nuances, and her ADD makes it tough for her to navigate feminine spaces. Maybe she has gotten over these things, but is so scared they will come back or happen again she is anxious around women. Maybe she grew up in a family of brothers in a neighborhood of boys. Or maybe any one of many other reasons that don’t mean she is a bad person or unlike you. So maybe we can be a little gentle with each other.

When I was in middle school, my mother stopped the car after I called another girl in my class a “slut”. She turned to me and asked what she had done, and I said “I guess nothing, but the boys all like her.” My mother just said “how is that being a slut? Or her fault?” “It’s not?” “Right. Don’t say things like that about another girl.” Pretty simple.

What Felicity Smoak has taught me, and why she's the best female role model I've seen on TV

- You are not where you came from. You do have the power to make a difference in your own life, just by deciding that you can

- You don’t have to physically kick ass to be powerful. Your brain is just as valuable as your body

- And additionally, wearing a pink dress and killer heels doesn’t make you less tough

- Don’t give up. You just have to find another way (and there always is one)

- If someone is disrespecting you, stand up to them. Even if it’s a hot, 6 foot vigilante, don’t be afraid to speak up and tell them that they’re out of line

- Compassion and sensitivity doesn’t make you weak. It makes you stronger, you have something worth fighting for

- Relationships require trust. Always have a conversation when needed, even if its difficult. Like dropping a paternity bomb difficult.

- Never give up. Never give up on pushing your partners to make up. Never give up on your partners, even if they’ve given up on themselves. That’s when they need you most.

- It’s okay to be insecure sometimes, you’re only human

- Take risks. Step outside your comfort zone. That insane decision (like maybe joining a vigilante team) may lead to the greatest adventure of your life, so don’t be afraid to step out of that cubicle, even if you’re uncertain about where that adventure may take you

- Don’t let others make decisions for you. It’s YOUR life, and YOUR choice.

- Inspire people with your inner light. Everyone has it, it’s just a matter of harnessing it instead of giving into darkness, even if that’s the easy way out.

- Just be you, because YOU are remarkable.

  • 温泉劇場

“Hot Springs Theatre” mini-conversation from Yomecolle.
Onoda: H–Huh? Manami-kun? Why are you here? I heard that these hot springs were a secluded place that not even the people who live in Hakone knew about.
Manami: Really? But everyone from Hakogaku often comes here… I’m surprised that you managed to find it, Sakamichi-kun. I love the hot springs here… So, uh, who are you?
Imaizumi: That’s what I want to know! Who are you? Onoda, do you know this guy?
Onoda: Um, this is Hakogaku’s Manami-kun. He saved my life. Manami-kun, this is Imaizumi-kun. He’s my teammate and the one who taught me how much fun biking is.
Manami: Hmm, Imaizumi-kun, huh… Nice to meet you. You have a nice body. Do you give names to your muscles too? Like Little-Izumi-kun or Big-Izumi-kun?
Imaizumi: Haah? What are you talking about? …And where are you staring?! Onoda, what’s this guy’s problem?!
Onoda: S–So, like I said, um… Manami-kun is from Hakogaku a–and he’s a climber like me! He’s amazing! He grows wings like Kotori and it’s like he flies into the wind!
Manami: Is Kotori-chan your girlfriend, Sakamichi-kun? Come to think of it, Toudou-san once said that this “Maki-chan” that he loves is from Sohoku too. Is this Maki-chan girl cute?
Imaizumi: …I get it now. With these two together, there’s no stopping their oddball conversation! Give me a break! I can’t deal with both of them at once!