why-did-the-chicken-cross-the-road

its 3:30am and I just woke up in a cold sweat because I realized noragami’s plot is literally a joke.

hiyori’s name is one syllable away from hiyoko, the japanese word for chick, i.e. a baby chicken. she becomes a half ayakashi and is then able to see beings from both the normal world and the far shore, as well as astral project herself and travel to places of the far shore that normal humans can’t. she gains the latter ability after running across the street to push yato out of the way of oncoming traffic.

noragami’s plot is literally: why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Shit Slytherins Say: #100
  • Slytherin: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
  • Gryffindor: "Seriously?"
  • Slytherin: "To Get to the ugly witches house."
  • Gryffindor: "I don't get it."
  • Slytherin: "Knock knock."
  • Gryffindor: "Who's there?"
  • Slytherin: "The chicken"

persiphonec  asked:

why did the chicken cross the road

Because the farmer’s shitty fuckin idiot son threw the poultry pellets too far while feeding the chickens. Now this poor chicken has to risk her gd life just to eat her fuckin lunch.

YOU DON’T OVERHAND TOSS THE PELLETS, JEDIDIAH! WE’RE FEEDING THE CHICKENS, NOT STONING THEM TO DEATH!

I THINK DEAR EVAN HANSEN CUT SONGS ARE IMPORTANT

okay hear me out

I’ve been listening to these songs 1  2  that were cut from the musical (probably because they made it too long or because they talked about things that were later resumed in other songs) AND I’VE COLLECTED SOME THINGS

We can consider this canon, those are facts that don’t affect the plot and were made by the authors so I’m stuck with it.

1. In this song Cynthia says this: ‘ The missing pills from the medicine cabinet.
The missing kid found passed out in the park.’ so THANKS TO THAT WE NOW KNOW HOW AND WHEN HE DIED. Probably after that first day of school, because he was absent three days after someone found him, he grabbed those ‘missing pills’ and died due to pill overdose.

2. Also in that first song she says he ‘used to love jokes! when he was a little boy? ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’ he had a million answers to that one!’ so, like any cheerful little kid he liked jokes that probably turned to bitter sarcasm with the years. 

3. There’s this other song in which Cynthia says ‘ Saw the counselors and the clinics
And the cures a mother tries
Cause maybe they could take away that anger in your eyes’ which means they were trying. He probably was on meds and probably was tired of psychiatrists. 

4. Both songs talk about how Cynthia and Connor fought after dinner every dinner and how Connor pulled himself away with every fight:  ‘ We went to battle every evening after dinner
I thought I knew some way that I’d get through to you,
Remember?
In the bedroom down the hall
We fought a war where no one walked away a winner
Cause every day you pulled a little more away,
Remember?’ and ‘ All that I’ve thought about is how hard he would slam that bedroom door,
Every night after dinner.
Wild-eyed and weary, from all those nights of fighting a war
Where no one was the winner.’

5. Okay this is not about Connor but we now know Connor and Evan had one thing in common. Heidi about Evan: ‘In the bedroom down the hall
I surprised you with that comic book collection
Next Halloween,
I dressed you up like Wolverine,
Remember?’  and Cynthia about Connor  ‘The years of trick or treating, my spiderman, he stood at 4 foot 2, such a happy child.’

THEY BOTH LIKE COMICS!!! so they could have been friends they actually had things in common and thanks to these songs now we know Connor was a human and not a monster. Sure, he was mean and that’s not nice nor forgivable but at least we know (thanks to a little bit of light) that he was  really trying.

I wonder what would have been of them both if they had talked things out, Evan and Connor I mean. I know mental illnesses can not be magically cured by a lover but having someone by your side (as a friend too) really helps, and they were in the same position so maybe they would have been of help for each other.

anyway that’s all

page 113 and 123 - 

Q - why did the slug cross the road?

A - why does anyone do anything? does free will exist or are we all just “living” out a predetermined script until we are inevitably crushed.

Knock knock.

okay listen,,, “a little bit of light” means so much to me and absolutely should not have been cut because it’s the one song that actually paints connor (the real connor) in a decent light. 

“All those demons that wouldn’t let up, that kept dragging him through the dark.
but there were moments
he had moments
with a little bit of light
in those moments, he was happy 
he was trying still to fight
and maybe the battle he fought wasn’t won
but at least there were days when he let the light in
in those moments, a little bit of light
….

he used to love jokes! when he was a little boy? ‘why did the chicken cross the road?’ he had a million answers to that one! 

i remember picnics and little league and sundays at the zoo,
i remember how he smiled
the years of trick or treating, my spiderman, he stood at 4 foot 2
such a happy child
but it seemed like i woke up one morning and my sweet little boy he was gone
something had switched off the light 
and it seemed like it never really came back on” 

I can barely listen to this song without bursting into tears because its just so accurate in its portrayal of what its like to develop a mental illness at a young age. connor was a good kid, he was happy, and then his mental illness developed and he wasn’t the same kid anymore. this song shows that he trying, that he was able to rally through some days and still have moments where he was genuinely happy. it fleshes connor murphy out into a better character than the entire rest of the show does, and lets you in to see the type of person he was before his mental illness took over his life. he loved telling jokes!! do you know how much it means to me to know one of things his mom remembers about him the most is that he used to love telling jokes??

obviously connor had his flaws (like every single other character in the musical) but ultimately he was just a good kid struggling with mental illness who couldnt make it through, and this song screams that point 

BRACELET

Imagine starts at 55 seconds.

And thank you so much for 1000+ notes!


“You guys having fun?”

The thousands of cheers from around the sold out stadium echoes through the cool night, every single one directed towards Justin. It’s kind of crazy to think about it - that people literally spend hundreds of dollars just to see him from what probably is a shitty seat at the back of an arena, but at the same time its flattering, and by now I bet his rather used to it.

“I don’t know if you guys heard me, Are you guys having fun tonight?!” He repeats into the mic, fiddling with the gold chain bracelet around his hand.

Once again the stadium filled with screams and cheers from the beliebers, this time twice as loud. I watch as Justin let his eyes drift over to the side of the arena, and decides to yell “Top row, you guys having up there?!” And they continue to cheer.

Then the other side, “What about this side, you guys having fun up there?!”

A small smile fell onto his face as he leans back and removes the gum from his mouth muttering, “Alright, as long as were having fun. Just livin’ the moment.”

Then continues to move forward and lightly strum the first notes to Cold Water. A second later his hand moves back to his mouth, placing the gum he removed earlier back inside. I can’t help but roll my eyes at my boyfriends indecisiveness. Once more he continues to strum the guitar before for the third time, removing his hand and looking down onto the chain.

“This damn bracelet is annoying.”

Suddenly moving his wrist towards the guitar and using his bracelet to tap the strings while saying, “You see all this noise, I don’t like that noise. It sounds wrong. I’m not diggin’ it.”

I can’t help but smile. Its so cute when he just speaks his mind, and I can tell the crowd feels the same since I do notice a few people chuckling up the front.

Turning towards the wings of the stage, where Scooter, I and the backstage crew are all standing, he jokingly adds, “See Y/N this is your fault - Giving me this bracelet.”

After fumbling around with it for a while trying to remove it, he grumbles “Stupid bitch.” Under his breath, causing not only me but the crowd to laugh. “One second guys.” He announces.

While still attempting to take off the bracelet I bought him for our 3 year anniversary, he decides to make a witty joke, beginning it with, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”

The crowd actually responded with a whole lot of “Why’s?” And justin immediately respondes with “He wanted to get to the other side.”

A small smile cracks his lips as the crowd chuckles at his terrible joke and even chose to acknowledge how dumb it was by adding, “That was stupid.” then adds “but it was funny.”

Finally giving up, his head shoots up to look around the crowd asking “Does someone wanna come help me get this off my wrist?”

Girls from the crowd shoot up and cheer immediately with there hands in the air. As for Justin who is still sitting and waiting for someone come to his rescue. Scooter waists no time in suddenly beginning to push on my back, motioning me forward.

“What?”

“Go help him.” He demands with a smirk.

“What?!” My eyes trail down my body, instinctively cringing at my purpose sweatpants and staff hoodie I chose to wear. I looked terrible. “Nah-ah. No way.”

“Who cares about what your wearing, go help him!” He chuckles.

“I care! Plus I don’t wanna just walk out on stage! That’s scary.” I pout but scooter shows no remorse.

“Just go!” He puts his arms on my shoulders and pushes me out onto the stage. This time, I can’t turn back because by the way every one in the crowd has heightened there screams, they’ve definitely seen me.

I sigh and mentally note ‘there no turning back now’ before jogging forward over to the seat Justin was seated on by the edge. Justin’s eyes trail around the stage, looking for the reason the screams in the crowd have increased, and once seeing me making my way over, smiles and extends a hand for me to grab.

I don’t hesitate to reach for his gesture and quickly dash over to remove this bracelet as fast as I can so I can get off the stage as soon as possible. At first, Justin is no help at all. Instead, he begins rubbing my arm and trying to get me to sit and stay next to him. “Justin, stop fidgeting.” I laugh.

Justin shrugs his shoulders as if not having any idea what I was talking about before settling and begins cooperating with the process. This bracelet is so damn stubborn! But after some pull and tug, Justin says, “Pull it from this side.”

“Yeah, and you unclip it from over there.”

The crowd aw’s in affection at our teamwork.

As we work together and finally get the bracelet removed, I jump up in achievement and grab a hold of the bracelet myself. As I’m about to make my way back off stage, Justin grabs my arm and pulls me back pouting. “Stay.”

I chuckle nervously and take a glance at the screaming crowd in anticipation, finally turning back to Justin to shake my head.

“Oh c'mon!” He encourages, grabbing my hip and pulling me towards him. I fall onto the seat beside him, my back pressed against his side while his arm rest around my waist. “Have a little fun. I’ll sing you a nice sooong.” He coo’s as if I was a child. “give you a little kiiiss. We can cuddllle.”

“Shut up.” I chuckle to which Justin smiles.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

Meanwhile, the crowd has hit the fan, their cheers going wild in a frenzy of excitement. Justin places his arm around my shoulders while using his hand to hold the right notes on the guitar neck. His other hand strumming lightly at the body.

After commenting about how terribly the guitar is tuned, he finally begins singing Cold water in a soft, melodic tone.

“Everybody gets high sometimes you know…What else can we do when were feelin’ low? - C'mon sing it with me baby!”

I chuckle at his enthusiasm and decide to not ruin the song and just keep my mouth shut, but frozen with a smile.

“So I wanna lay with you told I’m old!” He sang, causing my to furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

“Baby you sang it wrong.” I whispered into his side.

Still strumming the guitar, he looks over at me “Really? I did? Well then how does it go?”

“It goes, ’What else can we do when were feelin’ low? So take a deep breath and let it go -…” I quickly sing as Justin smirks.

I hadn’t realised that justin had actually moved the mic towards me, causing my voice to echo throughout the entire arena, the crowd cheering like crazy in the background while Justin smirked menacingly.

“Hey!” I pouted. “You stuffed the lyrics on purpose!”

“How’d you know?” He chuckled sarcastically. “Well, since you started it you gotta finish. C'mon baby lets go!”

  • Takao: On this episode of Cooking Midorimama…
  • Midorima: STOP MAKING THESE COOKIES, AKASHI! HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE WILL DIE BEFORE YOU REALIZE!?
  • Midorima: KISE, THAT STEAK IS SO RARE I HEAR IT MOOING!
  • Midorima: KUROKO, WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T COOK IT!
  • Midorima: MURASAKIBARA, THESE CUPCAKES ARE SO BURNT YOU COULD BREAK DIAMONDS WITH THEM!
  • Midorima: AOMINE!
  • Aomine: ...
  • Midorima: JUST GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN!
  • Takao: ...These insults are so salty, only Shin-chan could have cooked them.