Do you want to know the real reason why I cant stop crying after episode 10 of yuri on ice? Okay the scene where they exchange rings and all that was so beautiful and i still cant believe is real but… the next day? when viktor is looking at his ring against the sun near the beach? Watching that scene… I couldnt stop crying… in that moment i realised how THE BIG VIKTOR NIKIFOROV THE BEST SKATER EVER! was lonely… and in some part he didnt knew what real love was. So when he is looking at his ring, and yurio says that ‘’ why are you looking to that ring so happy?’’ There I realised that viktor has finally found love, has found someone that maybe is a litlle dorkie, but its his dorkie yuri, he is not alone anymore and has finally found who he really is… and its thanks to yuri.

Thats why guy I have cried like for an 1h… thanks to yuri on ice.

C: I don’t know why recently I cant stop crying. Right now I am locked in my bathroom crying about this and i can hardly see what I am typing and I can hardly think straight. I could tell that my dad could see that there was something wrong but i had to run in here to hide.

It’s just that fact that I keep seeing pictures of people like Amandla, Yara and willow all with their mothers spending time with one another. Being happy and it makes me sick that I dont have that. That I had to grow up with my dad and figure everything out for myself because he doesn’t understand anything and my own mother hates me just because i’ve always preferred being around my dad.

I’ve always been close to him but sometimes it’d just hard when you’re a young girl (12 to be exact) and it’s possibly the worst time because i’m going through puberty and my dad never wants to hear anything that i have to say, which is why i try to deal with my problems and somehow end up breaking down at the most random times. and even if i were close to my mother we wouldnt have that type of relationship because it’s just the type of person she is.

My father has a female friend who would always tell him that I needed to be around her and spend more time with her (and by her I mean this woman and not my mother) because a young girl can’t grow up without a mother but he kept me away from her and she figured that it must have been because he didnt trust women very much after what my own mother had done to our family.

This particular woman, she’s a very wise woman. I’ve known her since i was a child and thinking back, I can just remember how unapologetic she was, how educated she wad and how proud she is to be a black woman, but for some reason this makes my dad cringe,

She is exactly the type of person I needed when I was in high school. Things would have been much smoother for me, but my dad kept me away from that and this really upset her and I didnt realise how much i meant to her until she told me this recently.

Whenever she sees me on the street, she always stops me to talk about how we need to meet up sometime and talk about things. I really need this but she never seems to call back but i know it’s because she’s very busy.

I just feel sad thinking about the mother i never really had and now it makes me cry more than ever.

I’m 18 now heading to uni soon and I don’t think I will have that time to spend with her before i go. I just wish I had her growing up.


140727 God’s quiz 4.Ep 11. donghae cut

You’ll have to excuse me...

I’m sorry I wasn’t myself today. You see, 24 hours ago I lost a piece of me. Was it a death in the family? Yeah, that’s it. They were my family for 15 years. Not something you get over in a day. A wound takes time to heal. So please, you’ll have to excuse me. I lost myself today. I was back a decade watching a scared little girl hiding from her world in an epic story of crime, drama, humor, love, and loss. How do you say goodbye to the constant companion of a childhood wrecked with loss? I was never good at goodbyes. So if you see a silent tear roll down my face, you’ll have to excuse me. I just let go of my past self.

I feel like I’m just about to lose it. I just got a call from my mom that my 94 year old grandpa is in the hospital with a high fever and possibly a stroke.I am so worried that I literally feel sick to my stomach. It sucks to be in college and being away from home. I have no idea how I am going to take my midterms this week. I really just can’t right now. I know crying isn’t going to do anything for me… but what is a better alternative? I just want to be home right now.