why-are-all-my-pictures-the-same

(The riddles during my sleepless nights) Riddle number 1: the “over hand”-syndrom of Daniil Kvyat

(My first post, english is not my native language, please be lenient)

It´s not a secret. Our lovely dork is famous to have a weird behaviour when he poses for somes pictures, the “over hand” syndrom! Little reminder:


Yes, Dany Fan: you don´t dream, he´s also over-handing the invisible man!!!


Ok, apparently, he does that very often. But it is all the time like that? with everybody? Why is he doing that? What can we expect by posing with him?

So… he doesn´t seem to have a problem to touch his teamates… the same with the kids….

But not only: with the first picture, we could believe that he´s over-handing because he poses with girls/women… but… no:

eeemmm… wait… what is that Dania, your hand on the hips, and the underboobs?!?!


Do you see in the last 3 pictures how he´s also touching “strategic body areas”? He definitly doesn´t have a problem to touch a woman.

I analyzed for a long time and i can´t find a reason why he´s sometimes overhanding and sometimes not. The different pictures show that it has nothing to do with his mood, or of the physical apparence of the woman.

So, fan of Daniil Kvyat, if you get the chance to pose with him for a picture, i can´t tell you anything that could help to be not overhanded by him.

But if you want to get a body contact with him, i can give you a tip: he doesn´t have a problem to be touched, and more, he seems to like it! So if you want to cuddle him, you´ll not disturb him!

Look at him: he´s sooooo happy!

So fan of Daniil Kvyat: another pic to remind the particularity of the over hand syndrom:

If you are a woman, it´s possible that he´ll overhanding you, but you can touch him as you want, he will enjoy! (add: of course, after that you asked him and that he´s agree)

QED

sometimes I imagine disappearing one sunday. I imagine kissing my friends the night before, having fun. I have thousands of things to do next week and plans. no one suspects a thing. I imagine being the same as always. then my phone dies and no one can reach me. it’s sunday late morning and everyone is confused. guessing why I haven’t called back. all my stuff are gone from my bedroom. my phone number deactivated. I am nowhere to be found. five months laters and everyone knows my name. the same picture of my face on newspapers and tv screens. I look familiar to everyone. it’s been months. five years later someone is still wondering

Whatever, I'm A Basic Bitch

Okay. I’ll admit it. I’m a basic bitch.

So what if I like the feel of hot, pumpkin spice coffee wrapped around my hands. Yeah, you like my nail polish? It’s Essie in “Take it Outside.” That’s taupe with pink undertones, motherfucker. I got bottles of em in 30 shades of gray, cranberry, wine, merlot, a different kind of cranberry. They are all puns. What of it? Don’t you like the beautiful nuances of the English language? The word trickery that this celestial landscape can paint?

Hold on, I’m going to Instagram my coffee. So what? I have great boots on. You can see the coffee cup and the boots at the same time. I think it’s an aesthetically pleasing picture and I want the people in my life to see it. Why do you fucking care? Why do you care that I like my coffee like I like Idris Elba: covered in artificial pumpkin and in my mouth?

And yeah, it’s fall and I’m happy about it. Fall is great. I like leaves and a slight chill. I happen to really enjoy jacket weather. I have a lot of great jackets. Sorrrrrrry I’m not sitting in a puddle of my own tears crying because summer is over and I can’t go eat a tomato corn dog or whatever.

Also sooo sorry I’m taking my hard-earned cash to go and buy a candle that smells like a MARSHMALLOW so I can have a MARSHMALLOW HOUSE and watch HOCUS POCUS IN IT. Oh! Sorry NOT SORRY. I thoroughly enjoy my marsh house and my tea with lemon and my comfy sweatshirts from V Secret.

Okay, you’re really gonna come at me because I like yoga pants? Do you know–do you know how COMFORTABLE yoga pants are? Putting them on is like being swaddled like a little baby, except as a baby you never noticed how good my ass looks in yoga pants. My ass looks absolutely incredible in yoga pants. And don’t get me started on my tummy fat–it’s like it’s not even there.

What’s it to you that I’m going to brunch? I happen to really enjoy eggs. I don’t care what you do with them. Put some goat cheese on that bitch if you nasty. Put some hollandaise sauce on there, too. Funnel me a mouthful of bloody mary’s and a spin class. It’s Sunday and I’m alive.

Yes, that’s almost a Lena Dunham quote.

Yes, I drink red wine. It has heart healthy benefits, you uncultured toad.

Yes, I listen to pop music and I’ve liked a few old pics of Marilyn Monroe because I respected her as a comedienne. Yes, I like truffles. Leave me alone! All kinds of truffles! Ground ones and Godiva ones! Leave me alone! I want to enjoy my shows and things without you hassling me! I’m not basic! I’m a real human being with varied emotions and complicated energy and all kinds of hobbies!

So come on, call me a basic bitch. Come at me, bro. I’ll be over here, enjoying my blowdried hair and puttin blueberry muffin recipes on pinterest.

You blueberryless motherfucker.

6

“I just want one good picture of the three of us where no one is covered in blood; is that really too much to ask?”
“Yes.”

All aboard the express train to trash ot3 hell~! Because why dive in one dumpster when you can visit 3 at the same time? Aicosu and I had a blast on Sunday of LBCE taking some fun Reylux pictures, here’s the selfie set; serious photos will go up in a bit.

Rey - @commandercait
Kylo Ren & Hux - @aicosu

10

CLASSIC OF THE DAY:

Waiting for Godot by Samuel Beckett 

  • Amazon: 3.85/5
  • Goodreads: 3/8

Absurdism at its near best! Gogo and Didi, apart from being absolutely adorable, show such subtle tints of anguish at the hands of their never-ending bewilderment, that is enough to be felt by us but enough to let the comedy stand, all the same. Lucky and Pozzo also do well in adding to the whole senselessness of the picture. A remarkable tragicomedy that leaves you smiling sadly - the perfect achievement of the genre.

It doesn’t croon of insignificance and meaninglessness that is characteristic of Kafka and even Joyce on occasions, but it makes a laughing riot of it! The last line almost made my heart burst and I don’t know why. Do read and figure it out for me!

by guest reviewer Momina Masood 

Get the book here!

Read excerpts from the book here!

Try Audible and Get Two Free Audiobooks!

College students with a .edu email address, click here!

[Book Cover Designed by Megan Chesterton]

Hey Tay! I was talking to my best friend Lexie ( @finallyc13an ) and all of a sudden I started crying. When we she asked me why, I simply said because I’m just thinking about how far I’ve come and seeing the picture of me beside you makes me realize that it IS possible for my dreams to come true. Honestly, there have been so many times where I’ve doubted myself and my music ability and just seeing the pictures of us side by side at the same age and everything gives me so much hope for the future in everything I do not just my music. Taylor, the one thing I want you to know is even if we never meet or you never hears me sing, YOU are the reason why my career has made it as far as it has. It’s just crazy to me how one person who I’ve never met face to face can make me realize so many life changing things about myself.
If you can do it, I can do it. I start recording my first album this Saturday and I want to dedicate my song “Mess of a Dreamer” to you because in that song I talk about how I’ve been put down for so many years and now, “a mess of dreamer won this time.” Thank you for showing me that anything is possible. I love you @taylorswift

Hate shopping but want cute clothes? SAME, which is why I use StitchFix!!!

It’s a subscription box of sorts - you put in all your info and they send you a box full of clothes that ACTUALLY look great together. I usually just buy things that look pretty but then have zero idea of how to wear it with something else. I just got my first box and am legit obsessed. They even send you pictures on different outfits you can wear your pieces in, no guesswork.  I don’t think i’ll ever shop for myself again. You pay $20 for the box, and if you like the stuff, the $20 goes towards to clothes. Send whatever you want back! I kept everything :)

TRY IT YO!

3

GREATEST REVEAL EVER THOMAS ASTRUC!!!

And LADYBUGS!!!!! THIS PICTURE OF ADRIEN AND HIS MOM. ADRIEN IS THE SAME AGE OR CLOSE TO THE AGE HE IS NOW IN THE SHOW WHILE HIS MOTHER IS GONE. THIS MEANS THAT SHE LEFT VERY RECENTLY AND NOT FAR FROM WHEN THE SHOW STARTED.

I don’t know about you all, but I assumed she left years ago and that’s why they don’t talk or mention her. But THIS WAS RECENT???

This might be why he is so sad about his Father’s neglect even after 13-15 years of his life always being this way. Because his mother isn’t there anymore to comfort him in the gap of his father’s presence!!! He is so happy in the picture so he clearly had a good relationship with his mom, so where is she and why hasn’t she been brought up yet by anyone in show?????

Also, Thomas Astruc makes a point of asking “where is she?” GUYS, WHERE IS SHE??? WHERE DID SHE GO TO LEAVE THIS PRECIOUS BABY CAT??

Also also also also also!!

I can’t be the only one who thinks Adrien’s mother’s star pendant / necklace is very reminiscent of Hawkmoth’s Miraculous / pendant.

Obviously they’re not entirely the same, her’s is a five pointed star and his fans out like a moth's four wings. But they’re shape is very close and both have a jewel in the center!!

And both wear it in similar places, down the center of their chest. Her’s is further down to match her outfit and Hawkmoth’s is higher up his neck. But still!

And if you’re wondering, “this can’t be possible, they don’t look the same at all!”

Pre-Transformation

Post-Transformation Ladybug and Cat Noir Miraculous

ANNNDDDDDD

Pharaoh’s Akumazation

So it is entirely possible that Adrien’s mom’s slightly different pendant is the pre-transformation version of Hawkmoth’s post-transformation Miraculous. It’s clear, maybe as a way to hide identities, that when a miraculous is de-active they appear different from their active state, in which a kwami enters the stone and transforms our heroes. But this is all just my speculative theory making and it's  my headcanon until we have the in-show reveal!

But to clarify something, I personally don’t think Adrien’s mother is Hawkmoth, for multiple reasons including the lack of feminine curatures and deep voice but that can be arguable. But considering the fan theory that Hawkmoth is Adrien’s dad, Gabriel Agreste, I would not be shocked if Adrien’s mother has something to do with the Miraculous.

And that would be one connecting theory as to why she disappeared.

WAIT, IF THE FAN THEORY ABOUT HAWKMOTH IS CORRECT DO YOU THINK SHE IS THE REASON HE BECAME HAWKMOTH??? Gabriel’s wife disappeared and he’s trying to collect the Miraculous to find / search for his wife????? Or did she drive him to being Hawkmoth before she left??? GUYYYYYYYSSSSS!!!! LADYBUUUUUGGSSS????????

SEND HELP.

2

I’m literally sobbing.

So my friends convinced me to wear my Princess Tiana cosplay to Walmart. Considering I wasn’t at a con, I was surprised with all of the happy kids and parents begging to take pictures. In light of this, I ended up driving to Toys-R-Us just for fun. 

I’ll never forget this little black girl who asked to take a picture with me. As she walked away with her mom, she exclaimed how happy she was to see a princess that looked like her in real life. 

THIS IS WHY REPRESENTATION IS IMPORTANT. I can remember all of the times I wondered why none of my favorite Disney characters, or video game characters, or even anime characters had the same dark skin as me. Or the same wide nose as me. Or the same thick lips as me. Or the same coily hair as me. 

When Princess Tiana was introduced, I nearly cried. I waited until I was a young adult to have a Disney Princess who had my features and was seen as beautiful. And seeing children so happy –showing them that their dark skin, wide nose, thick lips, and coily hair are beautiful– moves me to tears.  

2

Two things I need: Attention and hot girls.

I guess attention from hot girls would be be very fulfilling…

Here’s my speculation on what Qrow’s team is called.

From what I’ve seen around the web so far, most people agree that likely possibilities are Stork (STRQ), Turquoise (TRQS), and Quartz (QRTS). My theory is something a bit different.

First of all, look at the photograph of the team. 

Raven is the one furthest in the foreground. She’s in front of the other three in the picture. Wouldn’t the leader stand at the front of their group? This is why I believe it isn’t Qrow who’s the leader of this team, that the leader is actually Raven, and that leads in to what my reasoning below.

From what we know, Qrow and Raven’s team has members with the same four colors as Team RWBY, the former team being family of our adorable silver-eyed main team’s leader. It would make sense for the order of the colors in both teams to be the same (i.e. red, white, black, yellow). With that same naming convention supporting my theory of Raven as the leader, it would make the team be ordered as Raven (red), Summer (white), Qrow (black), and Taiyang (yellow), making the team’s letter arrangement be RSQT.

And that’s why I think Qrow’s team is going to be called “Rose Quartz.” 

How to Build a Unicorn From Scratch – and Walk Away with Nothing.

This is a grim fairy tale about a mythical company and its mythical founder. While I concocted this story, I did so by drawing upon my sixteen years of experience as a venture capitalist, plus the fourteen years I spent before that as an entrepreneur.  I’m going to use some pretty simple math and some pretty basic terms to create a really awful situation in the hopes that entrepreneurs reading this might avoid doing the same in the real world.

As I’ve seen over many years and many deals, in all but the most glorious outcomes, terms will matter way more than valuations, and way more than whatever your cap table says.   And yet entrepreneurs – often with the encouragement of their stakeholders – optimize for the wrong things when they negotiate their financings.  

This is my attempt to paint you a picture of why this is such a bad idea.  The situation I present is fake, but the outcome is remarkably similar to those I’ve witnessed.  Don’t let this happen to you.

Let’s start with our entrepreneur, whom we’ll call Richard.  He’s founded a breakthrough company.  Let’s call it Pied Piper.

Richard attracts Peter, a newly-wealthy budding angel investor, who agrees to put in $1 million as a note with a $5 million cap and a 20% discount.  

With his $1 million, Richard builds a small team of people, rents an Eichler in Palo Alto, and gets to work.  Once he is able to demonstrate his product, he heads to Sand Hill Road.  He’s in a hot space in a hot market.  He nails his pitch, and the term sheets roll in.

Because Richard is extremely sensitive to dilution (after all, he’s seen The Social Network) he wants the highest valuation possible.  (Early in my career, another venture capitalist called valuation ‘the grade at the top of the paper’ – and I’ve never forgotten that.)  The highest valuation, $40 million pre-money, comes from an emerging venture fund, let’s call them BreakThroughVest (BTV).  BTV is excited about this deal, but has ‘ownership requirements’ of at least 20%, so they insist that to support that valuation they need to invest $10 million. Plus, they want a senior liquidity preference of 1x to protect their downside since they feel the valuation is rich given the stage of the company.  

Richard is thrilled with the valuation and the fresh capital for only 20% dilution.  The prior investor, Peter, is stoked that he is getting his $1 million investment converted into roughly 20% of this super hot company, and now with the validation of an external term sheet he can mark his position up to $10 million, a 10X!  This helps Peter validate his position as a savvy angel and solidify his syndicate following on AngelList.  

Term sheet signed. Champagne popped.  A few weeks later, funds wired.

With the $10 million, Richard rents space in SoMa on a seven-year lease, hires lots more people, and within a few months he is able to roll out the minimally viable product to test the market. Awash in the buzz of his fundraise, a feature in Re/code, and some early user traction, Pied Piper is perceived as the emerging leader in a nascent, winner-take-all market. While they are not yet monetizing their users, the adoption metrics are off the charts.  

Pied Piper attracts the attention of a tech giant we’ll just call Hooli. Hooli’s consumer group wants access to Pied Piper’s data. With Hooli dollars behind Pied Piper, Pied Piper could inundate the market with consumer facing advertising to build their user base and upend competitors given the massive network effect of the product. Hooli approaches Richard with the idea of a large strategic round. In the deal, Hooli would invest $200 million for equity while in return the two companies would enter into a business development agreement on the side in which Pied Piper guarantees to spend that money in a massive consumer campaign on Hooli’s ad platform. They float the magic “B” valuation. Richard goes to sleep dreaming of rainbows and unicorns.

Richard fantasizes about being named a member of the Unicorn Club by the press.  His employees calculate the huge paper gains on their options – they will all be instant millionaires – and since no one is more than ¼ vested, they are all highly motivated to stay in spite of long, long work hours.  BTV is thrilled with the 20x markup on Pied Piper, since they are about to hit their LPs up for a new fund.   The original investor, Peter, has achieved legendary status – his $1 million has turned into approximately $200 million on paper.  He’s on the YC VIP sneak preview list, he’s been offered a spot on Shark Tank, and Ashton just called to try to get into his next deal.

Of course, that $200 million for 20% stake also comes in with a senior 1x liquidation preference in order for Hooli to create sufficient downside protection and thereby justify the $1 billion valuation to their board.  

Richard, Peter and BTV all agree it is worth doing. With $200 million to spend on the most massive consumer-facing ad campaign in this sector’s history, the $1 billion valuation will seem low in retrospect.

Except, it doesn’t end up happening that way.  

The ads start running, but the conversion rate is low. Pied Piper shows Hooli the atrocious metrics and demands out of the advertising commitment, but Hooli won’t budge: Performance metrics were not pre-negotiated, and furthermore the ad group that recommended the investment did so in part to prop up their revenues with Pied Piper’s money ‘round-tripping’ into their coffers. The ad group is counting on that money to hit their annual numbers.  

Pied Piper is forced to run the whole campaign, blowing through all $200 million.  The good news:  They increased their user base by 10x. The bad news: The resulting business model those users end up actually supporting equates to more of a ‘market valuation’ of $200 million. In more bad news, turns out Richard incorrectly estimated the cost of supporting those users, most of whom are taking advantage of the ‘free’ part of a freemium model.  Support costs skyrocket.  

Word about the poor conversion leaks out.  The advertising stops when the money runs out. Growth slows to a trickle when the advertising stops. New investors sniff around, but with the preference overhang of $211 million, they are concerned about employees being buried under that structure and therefore being unmotivated to continue. They ask prior investors to recap, but the investors don’t want to give up their preferences: Pied Piper is now looking like it might be worth far less than the paper valuation, which means those preferences are very valuable as downside protection.  Furthermore, BTV is out raising their fund, and the last thing they want to do is write down their 10x markup on the Pied Piper investment.  

The board is now super unhappy about the massive miscalculation of support costs, awful user conversion, gargantuan ad overspend, the lack of growth the company is experiencing, and the departure of a few key employees who’ve seen this movie before and have done the ‘overhang math’.  Richard as CEO is out of his element – the problems are huge and the company needs more money, which he is incapable of raising given his lack of experience navigating waters like these.  Unfortunately, it is the CEO’s job to fix problems and raise money, and if he can’t do it, someone else has to.  So the board (which now controls the company with 60% of the stock) votes to remove Richard as CEO.  They recruit an interim CEO (let’s call him George) to quickly take the helm.  George says he’ll take the job on two conditions:  One, that they create a 5% carve-out for him and the go-forward employees (he’s done the overhang math too) and two, that they extend the runway so he has time to either turn this thing around – or sell it.

The company is not profitable and the current investors are tapped out.  “Let’s extend the runway using debt,” says BTV.  Maybe things will improve with time – or at least perhaps they can get their fund closed before they have to take the write down.

They lean on their good friends at PierLast Venture Bank who cough up $15 million in debt, with a senior preference and a 2x guarantee. Onerous terms to be sure, but hard to get debt with a balance sheet like this. Unfortunately, Pied Piper is burning $2 million a month on office space, cloud services, customer support, and expensive employees who are needed to build the next generation of the product. Without support they’d have to shut down existing customers and revenue, yet without development of the new release that they hope will save the company, they will have nothing to sell. Since they can’t cut their way to glory, they have to simply hope they can grow into their valuation.

Time ticks by while the company plods forward with very slow growth. Market pressures force them to lower prices, pushing profitability off.  A few key developers leave. Once again, they are facing the prospect of running out of money in 90 days. Current investors are worried.  Not only do they not have funds to put into the deal, but once payroll is missed they could be personally liable for the damage. Not good.  

Luckily, WhiteKnight, a public company with a complementary product and plenty of cash, offers to buy Pied Piper. The offer is $250 million. It’s not a billion – but it’s still a big, impressive number. It’s not that easy to create a company worth a quarter billion real dollars to someone else.  That’s huge!

The venture debt provider PierLast is very nervous about Pied Piper’s balance sheet and looks to the VCs to either guarantee the loan or get the sale done. They want their $30 million. Hooli is likewise pushing to sell, after all they are guaranteed the first $200 million of any proceeds, after repayment of 2x debt to PierLast, while the company would have to be worth over a billion for them to see any further upside given that they only own 20%. Their calculus is that this is about as unlikely as seeing a real unicorn given the state of the company.   BTV, who no longer has any capital left to invest from their original fund, has recently closed their shiny new $300 million fund, so they decide it is time to take their chips off the table. They vote to sell too, getting their $10 million back. Peter, while sad about the outcome, has developed a huge syndication following on AngelList and has recently benefitted from an early acquisition that netted him $3 million on a $250k investment. Can’t win them all, but he’s at peace.  Even Richard votes yes to the sale:  He still has a board seat but given the company’s lack of profitability and lack of any other sources of capital, turning down this deal would mean insolvency, missed payroll - and personal liability.  George (the interim CEO) and the key go-forward employees demand their $12.5 million carve-out.  Tack on more money for lawyers and ibankers, and…

Oh wait, that’s more than $250 million.  Oops.

Ergo, Richard ends up with nothing.

So what can we learn from Richard’s grim fairy tale?

Terms matter

Liquidation preferences, participation, ratchets – even the very term preferred shares (they are called ‘preferred’ for a reason) are things every entrepreneur needs to understand. Most terms are there because venture capitalists have created them, and they have created them because over time they have learned that terms are valuable ways to recover capital in downside outcomes and improve their share of the returns in moderate outcomes – which more than half the deals they do in normal markets will turn out to be.

There is nothing inherently evil about terms, they are a negotiation and part of standard procedure for high risk investing.  But, for you the entrepreneur to be surprised after the fact about what the terms entitle the venture firm to is just bad business – on your part.    

Cap tables don’t tell the real story

For any private company with different classes of stock, the capitalization table is not-at-all the full picture of who gets what in an outcome.  

In the above example, each of the three investors held 20% of the stock and Richard and crew held 40%, yet the outcome was vastly different because of those aforementioned pesky terms and preferences.  

Before you close on any round, you should create a waterfall spreadsheet that shows what you and each other stakeholder would get in a range of exits – low, medium and high. What you will generally find is that, in high, everyone is happy.  In low, no one is happy, and in medium (which is where most deals settle) you can either be penniless or “life-changingly” compensated, depending on how much money you raised and what terms you agreed to.  It is simply foolish to sell part of the company you founded without understanding this fully.

This is why it is so crazy to me that many entrepreneurs today are focused on valuation – the grade at the top of the paper. They are willingly trading terms for a high number. Before you do so, run the math on the range of outcomes over multiple term and valuation scenarios, so you fully understand the tradeoffs you are making.

Venture capital is not free money. It’s debt. And then some

People mistakenly think of an equity investment as ‘only’ equity dilution. After all, if you lose everything, your venture investor can’t come after you for your house like a bank lender could. However, most all venture transactions are done for preferred shares with a liquidation preference, which means all that venture money is guaranteed to be paid back first out of any proceeds before you get to make a dime. The more money you raise, the higher that ‘overhang’ becomes.  And interestingly, the higher the valuation, the higher the delta of value you need to create before the investor would rather hold on to the end instead of getting his or her money back (or a multiple thereof, as some terms dictate) in a premature sale if things are looking iffy.  And what company doesn’t go through iffy times? 

Stacked preferences can create massive problems down the line

This one is a hard to articulate in a blog post. Plus, I am a venture capitalist who on occasion puts said senior preferences in my term sheet. They exist for a reason – again often to do with the valuation and the risk/reward tradeoff the investor needs to make using the downside protection of a senior preference against the minimization of dilution the entrepreneur wants to achieve with a sky high valuation. They are not inherently bad.

But regardless of why they are there, the more diversity of value and terms in each round, the more you will create a situation where your investors (who are almost always also your voting board members) will have very different return profiles on the same offer. In the above example (and again I apologize for simplified math but it is directionally accurate) Hooli is getting their $200 million back on a $250 million acquisition. They own only 20% because of the high valuation they paid. So for them to instead double their return, the company would have to go public for $2 billion!  This is a case of the bird in the hand being worth more than the two in the very distant bush.  

Investors are portfolio managers: You are not

You are betting usually 10 years of your life and all your available assets on your startup. Your investor is likely investing out of a fund where he or she will have 20-30 other positions. So in the simplest of terms, the outcome matters more to you than it does to them. As I noted above, when you have stacked preferences, each person at the table may be facing a vastly different outcome. But now layer onto that their fund or partner dynamics. Ever heard the expression, “lose the battle but win the war?”  I’ve seen behavior that would seem crazy, until one considers what is going on in the background. For example in the above, BTV is out raising a fund and depends on that 10X markup to validate their abilities as investors. Facing a write down, a fire sale – or an extension of runway using debt (and not incurring any accounting change) – which one do you think least impacts the most important thing they are doing right now?  For our angel Peter, whose star has risen with this legendary markup, what value is there to him of taking a $1 million loss right now instead of just leaving a walking dead company out there and on his books (although this company is not technically walking dead because, since it is not profitable, it is not walking. But I digress.)  

Most reputable investors do not engage in this sort of optics, and many of us who have been through the dot com bust are actually rather aggressive with our write downs to accurately reflect a sense of true value in our portfolios.  Also, most investors who are also board members wear multiple hats and take their fiduciary responsibilities very seriously – I know I do. But, I bring up these behaviors because I’ve witnessed them more than once out there in the real world. As an entrepreneur, you should at least think through the motivations of others, both when you are structuring investments as well as when you are considering a sale. They will on occasion matter… a lot.

What to do

Now that I’ve scared you, let me reiterate that most investors I deal with are great, ethical people. If I didn’t think of venture capital money as good for entrepreneurs on the whole, I wouldn’t be a venture capitalist. But we VCs do a lot more deals than you entrepreneurs do, and you need to go into them with your eyes open to the downside consequences of the terms you agree to.  

Here’s what I recommend:

Focus on terms, not just valuation:  Understand how they work.  Read this book.  Use a lawyer that does tech venture financings for a living, not your uncle who is a divorce attorney, so you are getting the best advice. Don’t completely delegate this because you need to understand it yourself.

Build a waterfall: Once you understand the terms being offered, build a waterfall spreadsheet so you can see exactly how each stakeholder will fare across the range of potential exit values (yes by stakeholder, not by class of stock: Investors often end up owning multiple classes, and likewise different people in the same class may have very different circumstances that will influence their behavior even in the same outcome.)

Don’t do bad business deals just to get investment capital: I know, duh, right?   But I’ve seen otherwise brilliant entrepreneurs get entranced by these big number deals with big corporates, only to deeply regret them later when they cannot be unwound. My advice, separate the business development contract from the equity contract. Negotiate them individually. If the business development deal would not stand on its own merits, don’t do it.  

Understand the motivations of others:  This can be quite tricky, but I believe you should at least think through what might be the motivation of the others around the table. Is that junior partner going to get passed over for promotion if he writes down this deal? Is that other firm fundraising right now? If you don’t know, ask. I always aim to be transparent with the entrepreneurs I work with about what my and DFJ’s goals and constraints are, independent of my role as a director.  

And finally…

Understand your own motivation: What are you doing this for? So you can see your face on the cover of Forbes? So you can have thousands of employees working for you? So you can be a member of the billion dollar Unicorn Club? Perhaps it is to do something you are personally excited about and in a reasonable amount of time, maybe take enough money off the table to live in a nice home, pay for your kid’s college and your retirement. I’m not saying one is more correct than the other, I’m just saying that your own goals will dictate whether you should even raise venture at all, how much to raise, and what to spend it on. If you raise $5 million and sell your company for $30 million, it will likely be a life-changing return for you. If you raise $30 million and then sell your company for $30 million, you’ll end up like Richard.  

Can you tell what's wrong with this picture?

I’ve framed the photo. It sits in my cubicle in the same spot it has occupied for the last two years. It’s a reminder for me to work harder. A reminder of all the pain that was caused by moving too slow.

Seventeen kids went missing that summer. Snatched from their bedrooms without a trace of who had done it. This case cut deeper than any I worked on before. Every day another parent would come to me and ask “why haven’t you found my baby yet?” And I would have to say “I’m trying. I promise.” After the sixteenth disappearance, we got a photo in the mail. There was writing on the back. Two words.

“clocks ticking”

If you didn’t know better, you might think the picture was kind of beautiful. It’s of an old gravel road that winds delicately up a hill. The picture is taken from the middle of the street, the lens aiming up its path. One side of the road is lined by a patch of bright autumn leaves that look like they’ve recently fallen. The leaves are matted down slightly, as if by a heavy rain. In the center of the road there is a small basket. The camera is angled so you can’t see inside of it. On either side of the road there are gigantic pine trees that cast crisscrossing, haunting shadows.

Our department was able to find this location but there was no evidence. No basket in the street. Nothing in the woods. They dismissed as a false lead, but something about the photo got to me. I kept it on my desk for the next year, just trying to figure out what it meant. All I wanted was to tell those parents what happened to their kids.

There was just something off about the picture. Something that felt really unnatural about it. I thought about it all the time. The basket. The leaves. The pine trees. Then one day it clicked. Fallen leaves and pine trees. Pine trees don’t have leaves. They have needles. Needles don’t turn those colors and they don’t fall off in the fall. The pile of leaves wasn’t natural.

After a year of staring at the picture, a year of telling parents that I couldn’t find their kids – I finally figured it out. I dug a hole where the leaves were in the photo. There was a basket buried underneath the dirt. It held a child’s skull. Dental records matched it to Michael Blasters. One of the children who had gone missing.

I ordered an excavation of the area. The other kids were buried nearby.

Only one complete skeleton was found. It was a child that disappeared only a few days before we got the photo. Unlike the rest, her body was in a coffin.

There was a note pinned to the front of her dress. The same handwriting as the photo.

“48 hours of air – you could have saved her.”

Ahkmenrah x Reader: Too Dangerous

I don’t own the gif, picture, or Night at the Museum.  Other than that, enjoy!

“Open!  Open this door right now!”  You were currently huddled with all of the others exhibits in a large shipping crate. Attila and some of the civil war mannequins were grasping onto the door, desperately trying to keep it closed.  You were confused and terrified at the same time.  Why did you wake up?  You wouldn’t have woken up unless the Tablet…

“Oh my God.”  You breathed.  Sacagawea looked at you, never moving her bow from where it was aimed.

“What?”

“Someone brought the Tablet,” You whispered.  You felt a tug on the hem of your clothing.  You looked down to see Dexter.  The Tablet was clutched in his tiny hands.  “Dexter!”  You gasped, picking him up and setting him down on the smaller box in front of you.  “Why would you bring the Tablet?  It’s not supposed to be here!”  He screeched loudly, the sound echoing off the walls.  Attila shouted something, but as usual, you couldn’t understand.  You looked through the crack and saw Egyptian soldiers.  That wasn’t what interested you most.  What you instantly noticed was that there was a gap between them.  You thought to yourself.  If I can get out, I can distract them long enough for everyone else.  You knew it was a long shot, but you didn’t have any other options.  Pushing your way to the front of the crate, you looked out at the soldiers.  You gently put your hands on the doors.  Before anyone could stop you, you shot out of the crate and started running.  You heard shouts behind you, which only pushed you to run faster.  You felt your muscles begin to slowly freeze up.  Your head snapped up to see sunlight filtering through the warehouse windows.  You tried to turn around, and you saw that the soldiers were already frozen.  You breathed a sigh of relief, and managed to hide yourself around a corner just as you froze.  Everything went black as you waited for dusk.  After what felt like a few seconds but was really at least eight hours, you unfroze. The last night’s events returned to you in a flood of memories.  You cautiously peeked around the corner you had ducked behind the evening before.  The soldiers were gone.  You felt your throat tighten in fear.  You had to help your friends.  You quietly crept back to where the crate sat.  What you saw confused you even more: Larry, holding onto the Tablet, was surrounded by the soldiers.  One of the Egyptians was talking to him, but even though his back was to you, you were able to tell from the way he dressed that he had a different rank than the soldiers.  He was their leader, perhaps?   You crouched down and tried to listen in on what they were saying.  Before you could try and inch closer, someone’s hand clamped down on your mouth, stifling your scream.  You were pulled away from the edge and pressed against the crates that lined the shelves.  You shakily lifted your gaze to your attacker. 

“Shh,” Ahkmenrah whispered.  “I need you to be quiet, okay Y/N?”  You nodded, and he removed his hand from your face before pulling you into a crushing embrace.  “Thank the gods you’re alright.”  He murmured as you hugged him back.  He was the first to pull back.  Quietly getting up, he took your spot at the edge of the aisle of crates and peered around the corner.  He cursed in Egyptian. 

“What?”  You asked him, coming up to look over his shoulder. 

“My brother,” His voice was a low growl.  “He’s trying to take the Tablet.”  You breathed in sharply.  “I have to stop him.”

We have to stop him.” You corrected him.  He turned to you.

“No, not we.  It’s too dangerous, Y/N.  I’m not risking your safety.”  He said firmly.

“Ahk.  You and I both know that either way, we’re both getting dragged into this.” He looked around, probably trying to come up with a good argument, but failing.  “So, you can let me help, or you can stand by and watch me help anyway.”  He looked down in defeat.

“Fine.  But you’re not leaving my side.”  He turned to face you and wrapped his arms around your waist

“Deal.”  You looked over his shoulder and quietly gasped.  “Ahk,” You said, staring over his shoulder.

“Hm?”

“Look,” You pointed.  Her turned around and followed your gaze. 

“No,” He breathed.  Everyone was gone.  You noticed the foot of one of the soldiers disappear around another corner.  Stepping as lightly as possible, you both tried to follow as quickly as possible with being to close.  You both watched from behind a tall crate as Larry and Ahkmenrah’s brother seemed to be talking about something.  You had to stifle yet another gasp when you saw that the Tablet was now in the other Pharaoh’s hands.  Larry turned around and started to walk towards a long crate behind him.  He slowly unlatched the lid, and the long tentacles of a squid sprang out and began to take out the soldiers.  In the commotion, Larry took the Tablet back.  Ahk gently grabbed your arm, and you both began to run after Larry.  He looked over at the two of you.

“Ahk?  Y/N?” He said once he realized who you were.  “How did you—”   A spear landed in the crate next to him, inches from his nose.  “Actually, never mind. Tell me later.”  He said.  You shakily nodded as you heard the footsteps come closer.    Ahk and Larry noticed too.  They both looked for a place to hide.  Larry noticed a wide gap between to crates.  “Over there,”   He whispered.  “Quick!” Ahk nodded and led you over to the space.  He let you crawl in first before following you.  Larry came in third.  You all faced the aisle you were once standing in and waited for the footsteps to pass.  What you didn’t notice was that the aisle behind you had a gap as well.  You felt yet another hand clamp down on your mouth and drag you out of your hiding place.   You looked up to see Ahkmenrah’s brother in front of you, smiling sadistically. 

“You’ve gotten lazy, little brother.”  He said to Ahkmenrah. I wonder if he even knows where he is. You thought.  “Leaving your little flower so vulnerable.  I’m so very disappointed.”  You could hear quiet shuffling from your hiding spot, and could only guess that one or both of them were turning around.  “Well, you’ve made a mistake, that’s for certain.”  He was obviously rubbing this in.  “I guess you’ll just have to face the consequences.”  He snapped his fingers, and the guard holding you began to drag you away.  Just as you disappeared around the corner, you saw Ahk and Larry slowly crawl out of their hiding spot and towards you. 

“Let me go,” You demanded once the guard’s hand was removed.  The Pharaoh ignored you.  “I said, let me go!”

“I heard you,” He waved his hand dismissively.  You glared at his back.  “Tie her up,” he ordered lazily.  The guards pulled you over to a pillar and tied you to it with a long rope.    When the soldiers stepped away, the Pharaoh came up to you.

“I don’t know if we’ve been formally introduced.  I, am Kahmunrah!”  He exclaimed dramatically, sweeping his arms out and rolling the ‘r’ in his name.  He waited for a reaction.  When he didn’t get one, he dropped his arms with a scowl on his face.  “You could at least pretend to be awed.”

“I was taught to never lie.” You told him flatly.  His frown deepened.  Suddenly, he began to quietly laugh. 

“You have a sharp tongue, I’ll give you that,” The smirk suddenly disappeared.  “But I would show some respect if I were you.  I wouldn’t want to tell my dear brother that something happened to his little desert flower.”  You raised an eyebrow at the threat.  It could have been threatening, but the tone of voice he used made it sound pretty lame.  He looked at you for a moment.

“I do not understand what my brother sees in you.”  He said at last. 

“You shouldn’t.  It’s none of your business.”

“My apologies, but anything involving my brother is my business.”  He turned away from you again.  “See, I didn’t just take you for no reason.  I’m sure you’ve been informed that I need the Tablet.  My dear brother and that Larry fellow will do anything to keep it away from me.  I need some leverage, if you will.”

“You’re crazy.”  You said.

“That’s not very nice,” He said in mock-hurt.  “You should watch your tongue; you wouldn’t want anything to happen would you?  It would be a shame if Ahkmenrah was the one to find you la—”

“Y/N!” You heard your name being called.  You looked up to see Larry, a girl with curly red hair, and a cavalry officer with blond hair running towards you and Kahmunrah.  Kahmunrah snapped his fingers and a dozen guards surrounded the trio, stopping them in their tracks. 

“I was wondering when I would see you again,” He said, and began to monologue, going on about how ‘futile their efforts are’ and how ‘inevitable their demise is’.  It was boring you to death, and you were hardly paying attention! While everyone’s attention was on the Pharaoh, you felt the ropes around you shuffling around.  You turned your head as far as you could, trying to see what was causing the movement.  You smiled when you saw Ahk untying your ropes.  He smiled back and put a finger to his lips.  The ropes loosened, and you gently lowered them to the ground so they wouldn’t make any noise.  Ahkmenrah grabbed your arm and pulled you behind the pillar, sandwiching you between the concrete and himself. 

“Are you alright?”  He bent down so his mouth was to your ear.  His warm breath made you shiver involuntarily.

“I’m fine,” You told him.  He pressed his lips to the side of your head.

“I’m getting you out of here.”  He said firmly. 

“But what abou—”

“They’ll be fine.”  He assured you.  Just as you were about to make your escape, you heard Kahmunrah’s voice ring out.

“She’s gone! Search everywhere!  Find her!”  He roared.  You and Ahkmenrah stiffened at the tone of his voice.  Ahkmenrah stepped closer, his robes concealing you from view.  “This isn’t over,” He growled, and you heard multiple footsteps fade from the room.  After a few minutes, you heard a voice.

“Do you have her, Ahk?”  Larry called out. 

“She’s safe,” He replied.

“Told you it would work, Ace!” A girl’s voice rang out.    

“What’d we tell ya?”  A different man answered.   You and Ahk walked over to the three. 

“Okay, I was wrong, you were right.” Larry said dejectedly.  You hid a giggle behind your hand as the two strangers continued to gloat.  Ahkmenrah put an arm around your shoulders, and turned you to face him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He murmured, quiet enough so only you could hear. 

“I’m fine, Ahk,” You answered him.

“You’re sure?  No cuts, bruises…” He inspected you for any injuries.

“Ahk.”  You smiled at how worried he was getting.  “I’m fine,” You cupped his face in your hands, gently forcing him to meet your gaze.  “I promise,” You reassured him.  His gaze softened, and he gently pressed his forehead to yours.

“I’m sorry,” He said.

“For?”

“Letting you get captured.”

“No.”

“What?”  He stared at you confusedly.  You stepped back, and pointed a finger at him.

“You are not apologizing for this.”  You said firmly.  “You had no control over this.  Me getting taken was not your fault.   And I am not going to listen to you apologize for something you didn’t do.  Got it?”  He blinked a few times, and without warning, he pulled you to him and pressed his lips to yours.  Your eyes slowly closed and you wound your arms around his neck.  When you pulled away, he smiled and nuzzled into your hair.

“I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you, but thank Ra I did it.”  He sighed.  You smiled and laid your head on his shoulder. 

“Me neither,” You said.

“Um, guys.”  You both looked up to see Larry awkwardly standing there, the two exhibits standing behind him with smug grins on their faces.  “Hate to break up the moment here, I really do, but we need to go before Kahmunrah comes back.”  You let go of each other and followed the night guard, your hands tightly entwined with each other.

“Y/N?” You looked up at Ahkmenrah.

“Yes?”

“You do realize I’m not letting you take part in any more situations that are even a little risky, right?”  You dropped your head in defeat.

“Fine.”

“I’m serious, Y/N.  That was too dangerous.”

“I’m being serious too,” You told him honestly, meeting his gaze.  “And if you don’t want me to be a part of something, as much as I may disagree with them, I can respect your wishes.  Okay?”  He smiled at you, and leaned down to brush his lips to your forehead.

“Okay.”

 

 

Thanks  to the anon who requested this!

there’s so many strange pictures of the beatles, like what are they doing here? do we even want to know??

or like this one

“oooo”

this one I’ve just titeled “leather hoes with discount cowboy boots”

and this french album is a bit… strange

Keep reading

Friends that yoga together, stay together. 

Featuring @sob-wandoi as Ryan 

 Team Free Play was honestly the best part of RTX. Getting asked if we were “the Meg and Ryan from Twitter” after Mariel tweeted a picture with us became commonplace, and several guardians jokingly exclaimed “Meg and Ryan?!” which we responded to by looking in a rush and shouting apologies as we ran off to a panel we claimed we were late to. It was a blast.

2

“You know you like your job when you spend your free time making fan art about it. I was drinking and drawing the other night when I had this half baked idea about Sabine brainstorming in her sketchbook. A few hours later and it evolved into this silly painting about my friend Brad Rau having a pint with the Ghost Crew. There is no way anything like this would ever get approved at work but its fun to imagine the Rebels cutting loose at ‘ol Joes bar after a successful mission. Why Brads there, I don’t know but it cracks me up and in my book that’s reason enough. …And to clarify, for all the parents out there, lets just say Ezra is drinking “space root beer” - says Sterling (artist who created this amazing picture).
I cant stop staring at Rex looking just the same as my father after a really hard week!!!))) Maybe he should relax more…
If you are interested, go here:
www.sterlingsheehy.com