why you guys gotta do this

  • Gajeel: This is bullshit.
  • Sting: Yeah, I know. Why do we gotta get stuck with the cooking? I'm sucky at it. :P
  • Gajeel: Not that! Idiot. Why the hell does Salamander get special one-on-one training with that woman? No wonder he's ahead of you guys.
  • Rogue: *shudder* Trust me, Gajeel, you don't want any part of that... training.
  • Gajeel: Oh yeah?
  • Sting: They do this weird physical stuff... Like, this one time, Natsu-senpai pinned her to a tree...
  • Rogue: *thousand yard stare* Sh-she... Irene-sensei lost her... her THING! *hands dive for his private parts* And Natsu-senpai s-stuck HIS thing in her hole thing! O.O
  • Sting: I dunno~... It was kinda awesome to hear Sensei scream his name. :D
  • Rogue: >___<
  • Gajeel: ... I'm bein' made to babysit, and that flame moron is getting LAID.
  • Rogue: I feel sorry for Wendy... She's too young to be traumatized by that!!
  • Gajeel: Would not be surprised if she got turned on, actually...
top 10 phan moments that make me wanna rip my heart out

yeah, just ten moments among hundreds, let it be part one or something. tell me what i’ve missed because i want more suffering in my life.

10) mind control.

i mean, i appreciate the subtlety. i crave those tiny moments that you only notice when someone points them out to you. but this! you can’t miss this one, this moment is shoved down our throats. this is so “i’m allowed to do that to you, to be in your personal space, and gaze into your eyes for no reason, just because i want to”. and phil’s face in that moment, so much joy and mischief, he claps his hands and gazes back.

9) chest touch.

drama queen howell strikes again, it hurts to rewatch it srsly, why is he so extra? but what is phil doing ladies and gents? he slaps his chest in the weirdest way possible, he brushes it, it’s like he wants to shove him but reassuringly and the movement happens so fast you have to pause for a second to comprehend it. that sweet gentle boy is so fond of dan’s unnecessary commentary and yeah, it completely distracts us from what dan is saying at that moment.

8) feel my heartbeat.

was that necessary, really? like, i don’t ask my friends to feel my heartbeat when i’m scared, that was such a “horror movie at first date” bullshit, that’s not what people do?? and when dan does feel that beautiful hummingbird heart, phil just covers his hand with his own palm because yes, you gotta feel it very close, no air between your hand and my chest. dan immediately looks into the camera to show us that yeah, i know you’re there, nothing strange, and makes a comment about phil dying. wow.

7) phil the delivery man.

i don’t know what to say. it’s so simple but why does phil have to make such an act of bringing dan his charger, why does he talk in that stupid voice?? they have a banter, and then phil FIXES DAN’S CHARGER FOR HIM, like what?? who asked you to do that? where’s my IT guy au (literally, he’s got glasses, look at him). and before he leaves he plays the piano that nerd, what an attention seeker, and then bows!! is he tipsy? did he have a pre-liveshow orgasm or something? dan laughs fondly and it’s all i need in the world.

6) child beer.

what’s happening and does it even matter. phil’s hiding on the floor, but why? to surprise us? eh whatever. so he’s got that magical japanese powdery stuff and he wants dan to taste it. the biggest problem for me here, ahem, i mean the thing that just kills me every time is that phil spends the whole time (eight minutes) on his knees and he looks so cute when he makes that beer, holds it close to the camera, and then lets the foam sit so dan can have the ultimate child beer experience.

it reminds me of that hot chocolate video, where he does something so trivial but he’s so gentle and loving about it. i still don’t understand why they didn’t do a simple taste test like bros, but phil had to make it for dan, he wanted to see his reaction. and then he tries it as well, touches the glass rim with his lips at the same place where dan’s mouth just was (gross).

and i just can’t ignore how that boy sneaks past dan’s room after that, he’s playful, he stops to say that he googled something and dan was wrong, and domesticity, i wanna die.

5) sleeping phil on tour.

i kinda wanna talk about the angle here because i don’t understand how it was filmed (camera is pretty static, dan’s hand reaches from the side, not behind), but i don’t know if it matters here. what matters is how gentle dan is. of course, he starts with classic nose tickling, which is what “messing with a sleeping friend” usually implies, but then he frees one strand of phil’s hair and just lets it fall. wow, fantastic prank, dan.

and let’s separately discuss that pout/kiss phil does after he opens his eyes. i know you want a slow mo replay, so here we go:

that’s what i call “im gonna stay asleep but i love you”. where’s the nearest cliff so i can fling myself into abyss?

4) the look.

context what context. why did they keep it? why did they put it on fullscreen instead of hiding in the corner? two full-length looks dan, really?? you know what he looks like, why do you have to examine him like that in front of us you slut. and it just passes, without acknowledgment, they just turn back at us simultaneously and I’M STILL DEAD at that moment, i don’t care what happens next.

3) snoot. proot. (i just filmed you doing that)

i don’t even care what it was. something about piano sounds or whatever, but this video haunts me. THERE’S SO MUCH TO IT. first, phil is lying on dan’s bed (at least in the official version it’s dan’s, not mutual), just chilling?? and dan’s working i guess. so they are not actually doing something together but it’s a cozy evening, why would they spend it in different rooms? dan says something, idk, and phil replies “yeah” in that deep voice I SWEAR i haven’t heard from him before. dan makes the sounds again, like can you believe he’s an actual dork in real life, it’s not an act, he’s actually the weirdest boy alive, and he so obviously doesn’t know he’s being filmed. because when phil says “i just filmed you doing that you’re so weird”, he’s so delighted, he laughs at himself, he turns around, his hair is pushed back omg they are both so sleepy and i rejoice. i think this video gives us a rare but fantastic insight in their everyday life, phil must be keeping so much silly videos like that on his google drive and we never get to see them BUT SOMEHOW he posts this one, probably because dan is cute and he wants everyone to know it.

2) you loved it. you wanna do it more.

so, yes. you know this one. where do i even begin?? they play this dragon quiz and then 1) phil says “you loved it” in the strangest voice, like the voice we never hear from him, it’s deeper and quieter, he looks at dan even though dan’s not looking back; 2) dan is looking down as if he’s fiddling with an ipad or something, it’s almost a bts moment, something they would usually edit out. AND THEN THREE SECONDS OF SILENCE while dan kinda processes what’s going on and phil still looks at him expectantly. seductive as fuck. and now this quiet “alright”, i’m just… dan looks like he’s gotten the hint, so he’s a little embarrassed and they share the softest laugh. 

the thing is, we know how often phil makes sexual innuendos and dan always reacts the same way: he looks into the camera, he throws a witty comment in, he puts it on display to show us that there’s no intimacy in that moment. but not this time. i don’t understand why they didn’t edit it out. i just… don’t.

1) pantless liveshow
this is the ultimate. this is the weirdest and the most awesome thing these two gave me and i’m not even sure what can top that. the moment when phil decides to grab the humidifier and show us, he looks at the screen, says “one second” and stands up very awkwardly while dan turns the laptop away from him and makes the weirdest “how you doing” face. 

WHAT THE FUCK. did they think we were so used to them weirdos that we wouldn’t even notice that shit? but fuck, they do it again, they want to show us the spray and dan goes “should i go get it? you have to do phil’s corner”. like, i can’t function, i honestly can’t. AND THE WORST PART is when dan returns and we can see him covering his legs with a blanket just too fast like it’s not that cold boy come on.

i have no explanation and i have every explanation. i don’t deserve all this suffering.

3

New text message update!

Isak: Biology, chlorophyll, organisms, enzymes, photosynthesis, mitochondria, biology, biology, biology

Isak: Should we chat about something else for once?

Sana: What do you want to chat about Isabell

Isak: Do you know that guy Mikael well?

Sana: Mikael?

Isak: Yes the guy on the picture you were looking at in biology

Sana: Now you’re talking biology

Isak: Lol. But seriously

Sana: Distant acquaintance

*sends GIF*

Isak: Who is he?

Sana: Why?

Isak: Just wondering

Isak: Think he’s an old friend of Even’s from Elvebakken

Sana: So nice

Isak: come on

Sana: think he went to Elvebakken yes

Isak: How do you know him?

Sana: Is everything good with you and Even or

Isak: Livin la vida loca

Sana: Hasta manjana. gotta go

Isak: YOU CAN’T RUN AWAY FROM THE INTERNET GURL

SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS SENTENCE STARTERS.

  • ❝ What the hell happened? ❞
  • ❝ I set the car on fire. ❞
  • ❝ You’re gorgeous. ❞
  • ❝ It’s their blood. ❞
  • ❝ Where are your guns? ❞
  • ❝ You’re better than me. ❞
  • ❝ Put your hands up! ❞
  • ❝ You’re fucked from birth. ❞
  • ❝ Are you pissed at me, baby? ❞
  • ❝ Why would I be pissed at you? ❞
  • ❝ Of course we’re friends.❞ 
  • ❝ Come with me. Please. ❞
  • ❝ I wanna jump inside your pants. ❞
  • ❝ Are you looking at something? ❞ 
  • ❝ Why did you kill all of those people? ❞
  • ❝ What’s with your sour fucking puss? ❞
  • ❝ Are we gonna have a peyote party? ❞
  • ❝ Friends don’t make their friends die. ❞
  • ❝ Are you nervous because we’re killing a chick? ❞
  • ❝ I’m going to be over to kill you on Tuesday. ❞
  • ❝ Maybe the world just doesn’t understand you. ❞
  • ❝ Poodles always look like they’ve been crying. ❞
  • ❝ We all gotta dream, don’t we? ❞
  • ❝ Have some pride in yourself. ❞
  • ❝ Fuck the cops! Fuck them! ❞ 
  • ❝ You ever shoot a guy in his eyeball? ❞
  • ❝ Sorry if I haven’t been a very good friend to you. ❞
  • ❝ Don’t ever say I never do anything for you. ❞
  • ❝ Seriously, just fuck off! I’m not in the fucking mood! ❞
  • ❝ I stabbed a guy in the ear once. Ice pick, right in his fucking ear. ❞
  • ❝ You think I’m not serious just because I carry a rabbit? ❞
  • ❝ Are you out of your alcoholic fucking mind? ❞
  • ❝ You’ve eaten too many hallucinogenic cactuses tonight, [ name. ]❞
  • ❝ I don’t have a drinking problem. I just like drinking. ❞ 
  • ❝ Sorry for hitting you in the face so hard. ❞
  • ❝ Sometimes I think God’s gone crazy. ❞
  • ❝ No shoot-outs, no pay-outs. Just human beings talking. ❞
  • ❝ You might want to stop drinking if this is how you’re gonna behave. ❞
  • ❝ It’s impossible for someone’s head to actually explode, isn’t it?  ❞
  • ❝ When are you gonna get a job that’s not just stealing from people? ❞
  • ❝ This guy just telephoned a psycho-killer to come psycho-kill us! ❞
  • ❝ God loves us. I know it. He’s just got a funny way of showing it sometimes. ❞
  • ❝ I didn’t mean to break his nose. His nose was just in the middle of where I was punching. ❞

movement test!! still have some small things to fix yet but for the most part the animation meme’s coming along nicely!! :0

  • Garrus: Alright, my turn. What's the first order an Alliance commander gives at the start of combat?
  • Joker: Uh... I give up.
  • Garrus: (chuckles) Correct.
  • Joker: Ohohoh... alright, big guy. What do you call it when a turian gets killed by a horrible spiky monster?
  • Garrus: Friendly fire - come on, that one goes back to Shanxi!
  • Joker: Well, you gotta respect the classics!
  • Garrus: How many humans does it take to activate a dormant mass relay?
  • Joker: (exasperated) 602. 600 to vote on it, one to ask the asari for technical help and one to request a seat on the Council afterwards. How do you know when a turian is out of ammo?
  • Garrus: He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon. Why does the Alliance hire pilots... with brittle bone disease?
  • Joker: Y... you're shittin' me! The turian military has one about me?
  • Garrus: Oh, absolutely. I heard it myself from a private back on Palaven.
  • Joker: Okay, why does the Alliance hire pilots with brittle bone disease?
  • Garrus: So that their marines can beat someone in hand-to-hand drills.
  • Joker: ...damn, you need to tell James that one. Hey, what's the hardest part about treating a turian who took a rocket to one side of his face?
  • Garrus: (deadpan) Figuring out which side took the rocket.
On Camera

Or that one time Lance decided to live-stream when he really should’ve been resting. The (established) klance YouTuber AU that no one asked for, but you’re all getting. Domestic klance sharing an apartment is my jam, and throwing a little angst in there is a bonus.

I’m actually really happy with this, and if people like it I might do an actual long AU thing with this setting, so feedback is appreciated! For now though, just a one-shot. This is also proof that the best writing for me happens at 3 AM… oops. I hope you enjoy!!

Psst @taylor-tut this is that thing I not-so-discreetly mentioned in my tags, have a wonderful day.


Lance McClain was a rulebreaker in every way, except for one thing. He believed it was always necessary to have a routine, and never stray from it. If asked, he’d inform you that a steady routine was the foundation for a steady life.

Showering every morning, brushing his teeth every night, thinking of a cheesy one-liner for Keith each day without fail, the list went on. Little things.

One of his many routines was to live-stream, always on Sundays. Because who did anything besides sit at home, definitely not with a hangover, on Sunday?

New videos went up on Wednesdays, but the carefully edited ones on YouTube and his live-streams were very different. Many fans even preferred seeing him live, mainly because he couldn’t stop himself from making bad jokes, and was usually too lazy to straighten his bedhead.

And they would always ask him to go bother Keith in the next room, which Lance more often than not was obliged to do.

So when he woke up late one Sunday with a killer headache and a stuffy nose, Lance wasn’t about to let it get in the way of his routine.

He discovered a note from Keith on the kitchen table that said he’d be out running errands, and Lance lamented that he hadn’t been awake to tell Keith to get soup. After shooting him a quick text, the only response Lance got was “You don’t even like soup.”

Lance chuckled softly, which quickly led to a series of wet coughs. Clearing his throat, he began to set up his camera, wrapped himself up in blankets, and started the stream.

“Hey guys,” he said with a small wave, and winced at how raspy his voice sounded. He sniffled, and edged the off-screen box of tissues closer to him.

The chat was quickly flooded with “HELLO”’s and “LANCE!”’s. By now, all the fans knew when he went live. Lance was, however, surprised to see several inquiries about his health.

There were quite a few “Are you okay”’s, and even some “You seem sick”’s, with one of Lance’s personal favorites being “You look like shit.”

He read off the last comment with a short laugh. “Thanks, KeiththeKutie05.” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Nice name.”

After a short pause of him continuing to scan the chat, he spoke again. “I’m fine though, just got a cold or something. Nothing could stop me from live-streaming!”

As the viewers seemed satisfied with this response, Lance wasn’t surprised to see the usual repetition of “Where’s Keith?” in the chat. He sighed.

“Mullet Boy is running errands,” Lance told them, rolling his eyes for effect. “Probably going out to buy a new pair of fingerless gloves.”

Keith and Lance had been sharing an apartment for some time now, and the Internet was very invested in their relationship, or so it seemed. Keith was annoyed by the whole thing at first, but Lance found it entertaining that his fans seemed to like Keith better than him. Lance could, admittedly, relate.

Eventually, the accidental publicity that came with dating a YouTuber inspired Lance to make a collab channel for them, though Keith never got his own. He insisted that he was too awkward to film anything by himself, which Lance secretly found adorable.

Numerous people began telling Lance to prank Keith when he came back, to which Lance grinned. Playing tricks on Keith during live-streams had become somewhat of a tradition in and of itself. “Maybe I will,” Lance tapped his chin thoughtfully. “You guys got any ideas?”

Lance read through some of the responses but saw nothing particularly appealing, then perked up at someone asking when he’d do a video with Hunk again.

“Actually, I got some good news for you guys,” Lance declared, sneezing into his elbow before continuing. “Hunk and I are going to be playing videogames on Pidge’s channel sometime next week, and Hunk has both of us coming over to his and Shay’s for a baking video. I haven’t decided what we should do for my part yet. Maybe a Q & A?”

Once again, Lance’s eyes scanned through the suggestions until his eyes snagged on one he liked. “Cards Against Humanity, huh? With YouTube’s shitty new rules it could get demonetized, but I do love that game, so why not? I’m positive Pidge owns it, and I can tell them to bring it over. Maybe I can even convince Keith to play with us.”

Lance couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiastic response that got.

“I think I’m going to get myself some more coffee,” Lance decided, looking down at the empty mug resting on a coaster. “Last night Keith made me watch this really scary movie, so I naturally had trouble falling asleep. Gotta have coffee to keep myself functioning. Do you guys prefer coffee or tea? Keith and I are both coffee people, but he likes his black. No sugar or anything, disgusting if you ask me.”

Lance almost regretted this comment as a war of opinions on black coffee slowly took over his computer screen.

“Well, anyway, I’m gonna go to the kitchen real quick. I’d bring my laptop but… I’d probably spill coffee on it, and we can’t have that.”

Lance stood, and was about to start towards the next room when his vision abruptly blurred and refocused. He knew immediately something was wrong.

His legs felt like jelly, and the room seemed to spin as he took a single step forward. Had he only been fine when he was sitting? Lance had half the mind to sit right back down, but his brain was growing muddled, and direction simply didn’t make sense.

Lance’s migraine flared abruptly in intensity, and then suddenly the wood floor was rushing up to meet him. Everything went dark.


Keith glanced at his phone as he moved around to the back of the car, where he’d stored the groceries, and had to repress a fond smile at the Twitter notification on the screen. Lance was, apparently, live-streaming. Keith thought he might actually miss his time-slot for once, but he figured by now he should be used to the Cuban boy’s dedication to routine.

Lance’s channel got some negative feedback from more ‘sophisticated’ YouTubers for being… all over the place. A dedicated beauty guru, or PrinceLotor as his channel was called, had dragged Lance on Twitter on more than one occasion.

Lance was anything but consistent when it came to videos. He did whatever he felt like doing that week, and the fans loved it. Sometimes he played songs on his guitar, sometimes he did prank-calls. He would film Q&A’s, or tell stories about all the interesting stuff that happened in his life— Lance’s bad luck was rather famous. He recommended TV shows, did hauls of what he got for holidays, vlogged on occasion when he went to stores, you name it.

But Lance’s favorite thing to do were collabs.

Hunk, an incredibly smart engineer, had a baking channel as a hobby, and Lance was his favorite assistant.

Pidge was a newer gaming channel, but their obsession with theorizing about the game’s lore while playing and busting other fan theories made them grow in popularity quickly. For two player games, Lance was ideal.

Allura was an extremely popular beauty channel, and Lance let her give him makeovers whenever she wanted to. Shiro could use extra actors in his short films.

And Keith… well, the two of them had a channel together that had no pattern whatsoever, much to Lance’s dislike. Absolutely spontaneous and random, usually doing things by popular fan request, like dancing or karaoke. And uploads were by no means regular.

Keith was surprised at how much he had started to enjoy it. Lance had been telling him he should start an art channel, with animations and speedpaints and the like, and Keith wasn’t… that opposed to the idea. It could be a useful source of income, to help with all the debt he would come into after graduating college. But he’d never tell Lance.

Without thinking too much of it, Keith swiped right across his screen, taking him to Lance’s tweet about the live-stream in order to like it. He was about to close his phone again and begin taking groceries up to their apartment when his eyes snagged on something odd.

Lots of the replies to Lance’s tweet mentioned him, particularly the recent ones, even tagging him in it. Keith couldn’t fathom why they would be talking about him if he wasn’t on the stream, unless Lance was complaining about him live again.

Keith bristled. Lance better not be still annoyed at him for the movie the last night. Signs wasn’t scary at all, and not even a real horror movie! Lance simply stated that ‘he didn’t mess with aliens.’

But when he looked at all the mentions, Keith felt his irritation give way to confusion, and then panic.

“KEITH GET TO UR APARTMENT”, “YOU BETTER GO CHECK ON LANCE”, “HOLY SHIT HES COLLAPSED KEITH HURRY YA ASS UP”, and the one that really sent Keith reeling “UH GUYS IS IT JUST ME OR DID WE WITNESS LANCE’S DEATH ON CAMERA?”

Keith slammed the trunk, all groceries forgotten as he sprinted into the apartment building and ran for the stairs. They only lived on the third floor, and he was not about to wait for the slow, crowded elevator.

He fumbled to fit his key in the lock and opened the door to the living room, only to spot the live-streaming set up, with no Lance. Keith rushed forward, but drew up short when he realized that Lance was in fact passed out on the floor in front of the couch.

“Oh my god— Lance!” Keith sank down beside him, turning his boyfriend over. “Lance, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

Lance’s eyes opened slowly, and Keith felt relief flood his system, despite the uncharacteristically pale skin. “K-Keith? Wha… I thought you were shopping?”

“I’m back,” Keith answered shortly, wincing as he pressed a hand onto Lance’s forehead. “Jeez, you’re on fire. Why didn’t you tell me you were this sick?!”

“Are you a fire?” Lance mumbled under his breath, and Keith furrowed his brows in confusion.

“What? No, Lance, I was saying you have a fever.”

“Because you’re hot and I want s'more,” Lance continued, as if he hadn’t heard him at all. Keith was suddenly painfully aware that the live-stream was still going, and that his face was even more flushed than Lance’s, and not because of a fever.

Keith glanced at the computer sitting on the coffee table briefly, noting that most of the chat was full of random keyboard smashing. He smiled apologetically. “At least he’s conscious,” he shrugged, hoisting Lance up off the floor and propping one of his arm’s around Keith’s shoulder. “I’m going to take this idiot to the hospital, he’s way too hot.”

“So you finally admitted it,” Lance’s voice was barely audible, and Keith glanced back down to see him grinning up at Keith tiredly.

“I meant your temperature, dumbass. Next time, tell me when you’re not feeling well.”

And with that, he shut off the stream.

3

Allura: Well, I do rock a suit. Maybe I should do away with the dress and we all wear suits.

Shiro: Whatever you think is best, you rock everything.

Pidge: Pidge would never wear a full on dress… Kaity, on the other hand, would but never as short as the normal uniform. Girls gotta draw a line.. and mine is below the knee. But this does make me feel powerful.

Coran: I agree! Skirts are quite freeing! and these pumpkin panties are very comfy.

Allura: …

Hunk: Why do you guys keep dressing me up! I got a job in the kitchen for a reason!

Allura: Well thank you for being a good sport about this.


Lance: Why on earth are these so short.

Pidge: You never complained about them when they were on the girls.

Lance: That’s cause they got the legs for them.

Keith: So do you.

Lance: (O-O  )

Keith: (<_<   )


A.N. The thing I named the main picture is “got itmaid”. Can you see how tired I am?Sorry for the lack of quality in the main image, I obviously had a focus >..>

Post-Kerberos! Matt HC

★ When the rebellion group helped him escape, he just ended up sticking with them and eventually became one of the best fighters there???

★ He doesn’t have any idea where his dad is, but scavenges through old Galran tech to hopefully find out.

★ The group is pretty much amazed by humans and low-key terrified of them bc of Matt 

★ He dislocated his shoulder once and the group was like, “it’s horrible to see another one go,,,,” and Matt was just like “???? i can put it back in place????” 

  • Matt: Guys,,,,stop crying,,,,this can be fixed,,,,,
  • Rebellion leader: i saw a dear friend die bc of that, there is no survival
  • Matt: *silently puts in back in place*

★ He has a scar over his right eye bc of the Galra

★ The Galra also found out he needed glasses and basically went, “well we can’t have The Champions friend like this!” and injected some weird shit into his eyes. Matt no longer needs glasses, but his eyes change colors depending on his mood and who he’s talking too

★ Matt, talking to keith as his eyes turn red: And so– why the fuck are you pulling out your sword?

Keith, seeing Matt’s eyes turning yellow as he talks to Hunk: “Uhm guys? Are we sure that Matt isn’t Galra?”

  • “I am right here”

★ When he first heard of Voltron his main thought was, “Well that sounds lit” but when he hears that ‘The Champion’ aka Shiro is their leader, he immediately turns into that Mr.Krabs meme

★ Somehow some people find a picture of the paladins and everybody is just “???? the tiny one resembles matt”

★ Matt automatically realizes it’s Katie and that the red paladin is Keith and just,,,screams for roughly 5 hrs

★ Why is everyone he knows up in space? He has no fucking clue but w/e

★ Makes it a personal mission to track down Voltron for himself and the rebellion

★ They end up showing up eventually to make allies

★ The Paladins talk to some civilians first, so Allura and Coran meet up with the Rebellion leader

  • “Number 5?! How’d you get here so quickly??” “Funny story actually,,,”
  • The real Pidge shows up like 0.5 seconds later
  • Pidge//Katie, tearfully: “MATT”
  • Matt, nearly sobbing: Oh shit waddup

★ Keith screams at him for a solid 10 minutes before tearing up

  • “It’s okay. I know you’re gay and texan already, Keith”
  • “I fucking hate you”

★ There’s a tie between whether Pidge or Shiro cried more

★ Allura: I’m princess Allura and you are?
    Matt:
single and willing–i meAN MATT

 ★ **Takes in Katie’s appearance** “Well, one of us is going to have to change”

★ **Inspecting Shiro’s arm** “Yo, your weapon is just a bitch slap”

★ “,,,,,you guys do realize Allura just picked your lions off of your clothes right???” “No she–holy shit”

★ “whY DON’T YOUR LIONS HAVE SEAT BELTS?! YOU’RE GONNA DIE AT 6 SHIRO”

  • He essentially spends his time pointing out problems with basically everything tbh

★ “Why does Voltron represent the olympic rings??”

★ He realizes Keith has a crush on Lance in like a couple of days

  • “weLL I HEARD YOU GOT A SPECIAL SOMEONE ON THE SIDE, KEITH”
  • “Listen here, you piece of shit”

★ Slowly comes to the realization that he likes both Shiro and Allura

  • “Coran have you ever heard of a pickle?”

★ He helps Coran around the castle and stuff

  • “And this is the Teludav” “Y’all have fucking teletubbies here?”

★ Him and Hunk team up to annoy Shiro and Lance with puns

  • “I’m just over the moon with excitement”
  • “Aren’t you glad i’m not lion in the cold depths of space??”

★ Him and Slav get along pretty well

  • Shiro hates it

★ “In this timeline, there is a 42% chance of you getting together with the two of them.” “Thanks buddy”

★ “Why did you choose five kids to defend the universe there’s so many ways this could go wrong”

★ Him and Hunk set up the lions to play “What’s new pussycat?” 7 times with one “It’s not unusual” before resuming ‘What’s new pussycat?’

  • “For years, scientist have wondered if you can make 3 teens, 1 adult, and 3 aliens weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’ “It’s not unusual”.”

★ Lance is amazed by how smooth his skin is

  • Like, you’ve been in space for 2 years???? And majority of that was with the Galra??? Tell me your secret

★ Everyone figures out Matt’s crush on both Allura and Shiro and try to get them together

  • One plan consisted of a rock, 15 cups of nunvil, and a very upset bounty group.

★ Matt actually likes nunvil

★ The Lions all take a liking to him and everyone would be salty, but he looks adorable when he talks to them so they deal with it

★ Pidge voice: I’ve banned Hunk because he kept messing with my shit but now—
    Matt voice: yO I GOT MARIO KART RUNNING ON THIS

★ He appreciates the fact that Hunk points out all the weird shit that’s going on while everyone else just accepts it

★ “Do you think i could install the internet to my mind?”
★ **sees all the upgrades Pidge added to Green** “yO—YO!”

★ Anytime Shiro or Allura do anything remotely romantic to him, ‘What the heck i gotta do’ starts blasting from the Green Lion

★  Allura called his ears cute once, and nobody saw him for 6 hrs until Lance found him frantically grabbing Altean romance novels while whispering, “what does it mean?!”

★ They go to a planet where it’s considered normal to have more than one partner

  • Coran convinces the newly dubbed “Poly triangle” to pretend they’re actually dating for reasons unknown
  • They pull it off so well that the Aliens eventually ask when they’re gonna get married
  • Everyone had vastly different reactions

★ “You guys are fighting Zarkon right? Why don’t you just turn him Zarkoff?”

★ Hunk voice: Um, guys, what are those things?
    Obviously annoyed Matt voice: Aliens. 
    Different ranges of offended Allura, Coran and Keith voices: Excuse me?

★ “I’m fucking tired. beam me up, Scotty”

★ Keith, kneeling down on one knee: “Matt, Allura, will you do me the honor of marrying my stupid brother?”

★ “Voltron? More like Dabtron.”

  • “How do I return a brother?”

★ “caTCH THESE GAY HANDS ZARKON”

★ Tried to convince Shiro to let him Pidge and Hunk install a laser gun sound effect or the lightsaber noise to his arm

★ Once, he finally found the courage to tell Shiro and Allura that he liked them but they mistook it as him saying he enjoyed their company or smth along those lines

  • He tried to throw himself out the airlock afterwards

★ Lotor eventually shows up and everyone is tense bc he’s shown interest in the Blue Lion

★ Lotor sees Matt, and just pushes Lance out of the way: Hello there ;)

  • Everyone pretends not to notice Shiro’s eye twitch and Allura breaking the weapon she was holding
  • Lance was offended at first but seeing their reactions made it worth it

★ Matt is oblvious to Lotor’s attempts though

  • Everytime he gets close, Matt just assumes it’s some weird galra thing

★ “Raindrops on roses, Allura’s white hair, Shiro’s back muscles and Allura’s eyes. These two could probably kick his ass and they’re a few of Matt’s favorite things”

★ Obviously exasperated Pidge voice: You guys just need to bone
    Stern Matt voice: What did you say?
    Pleading Hunk voice: Please don’t say it again
    Not Caring Pidge voice: I said you guys need to bone
    Shocked, Furious Matt voice: B O N E!?

★ They visit a planet with very tall aliens and of course shenanigans ensure

★ Keith voice: Y’know Allura, Shiro, you should probably hold Matt’s hand, so he can’t get lost everyone around here is pretty tall

  • **Disappointed, obviously knows what you’re doing Shiro Glare**
  • Completely oblivious, already grabbing Matt’s hand Allura voice: Of course! We wouldn’t want that!”
  • **Undignified, silent squeal from Matt**

★ Hunk voice: The stars sure are beautiful tonight
    Lance voice: Y’know what else is beautiful?
    Pidge and Keith voices: A loving relationship between Matt, Shiro and Allura

★ Eventually, the time comes where there’s a serious fight that both Shiro and Allura have to go through alone, and Matt freaks tf out and terribly confesses to the both of them:

  • “Okay, listen tf up. I can’t do that dramatic thing where I pull you down and kiss you and say, ‘Come back to me’ since there’s two of you. But I will say that I love you both, and if you dont come back i’m taking out the entire Galran Empire myself”

★ Allura and Shiro are both shocked but Matt is already fast walking away so they can’t say anything

  • They come back and make a beeline for him
  • “LISTNE IVE KNOWN HIM LONGER PRINCESS”
  • “I QUIZNAKING SAVED YOUR BUTT BACK THERE I GET TO KISS HIM FIRST”
  • Allura makes it to him first

★ Keith cries, Pidge and Hunk pull out a confetti cannon they made for this occasion, Lance falls to his knees in victory, Coran pulls out a cake. Everything is good in the Universe.


[Read Part One// Pre! Kerberos! Matt HC here!]

|Soulmate| Peter Parker

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: About a week ago you got your soulmate tattoo on your forearm that said ‘Y-You’re beautiful’ and you’ve interpreted it as a random guy on the street cat-calling you.

Warnings: hurt(ish) Peter, (sorry they don’t kiss lol so that’s it) 

Words: 745

A/N: I LOVE THE SOULMATE AU WHERE YOUR SOULMATES FIRST THING THEY SAY TO YOU IS TATTOOED ON YOUR FOREARM (imma twist it up a bit tho and have it temporarily be tattooed)

Part 2

Originally posted by starkquinzel

~~~~~~~~~

It was last Friday when it showed up.

I woke up late and in a hurry so I scurried out of my room into the kitchen. My moms eyes widened and then she sprouted the biggest grin ever.

“Finally!” She laughed. I looked at her like she was crazy. She sighed and pointed to my arm. I looked down. ‘Y-You’re beautiful’ was tattooed across my forearm. A slight blush crept across my cheeks.

“I-I have to go to school,” I said as I bolted out the door.

And that brings me here today, Thursday. I thought over this tattoo probably over a thousand time. I’m probably soulmates with a fuck boi or something. I kept on reading the tattoo as if I was walking around town at night and some random guy just passed me and said it, so I told myself to never fall in love with that man. A thick scream erupted through my thoughts. I looked down the street and a man with huge wings was flying past. I ducked as he flew overhead.

“I will do- anything to protect the people I love!” The man with wings said as he stopped and turned around. I looked back down the street as Spider-Man swung on top of a building.

“Same goes for me- that’s why I gotta stop you.” The few people along the street started to scream and run away. I backed against a wall as the winged man and Spider-Man fought. I glanced down the street, wondering if I should run for it. I decided that yeah… I might get crushed by this weird vulture guy but also I wanna get the hell out of here. So I ran.

As I got closer to the end of the street I heard a crash in an alley I just passed. I stopped and looked over my shoulder, then up above me. The man with wings was flying away. I sighed and ran back to the alley. At the end, there was a trashcan with Spider-Man laying across the top. He had seriously dented it bad. I ran up to him.

“Oh God-” I said as he lay there motionless. I jumped up on the trashcan and kneeled next to him. His mask was pulled over half his face. I shimmied the rest of his mask off and put two fingers under his ear. Thump thump. I let out a sigh of relief. He groaned and I put my hand on his chest and shook him. “Hey- hey- wake up. Are you ok?” I asked. He leaned up slowly and then hissed in pain. He suddenly clutched his forearm.

“Shit-” He groaned. His suit had a rip near the hand and he ripped it even more.

“What are yo-” The sight of his forearm shut me up. A thin worded tattoo was now burning away off his skin. The words ’re you ok?’ were all I saw and then it was gone. He looked up at me with a confused look and then all of the expressions on his face dropped.

He was cute. Like wow. He looked kind of familiar with those brown eyes and messed up locks of hair. I doubt he went to my school since my school was so small and I basically knew everyone there. He probably went to Midtown, the high school that was a couple blocks from my school. Was he my soulmate? Is that what happened? Would the tattoo disappear from my skin? I realized he was still starring at me with his mouth agape.

“W-What?” I asked, blushing.

“Y-You’re beautiful.” He said. I bit my lip and a sharp pain spread across my forearm.

“Ow!” I moaned. I lifted up my sleeve and looked down. My tattoo was burning away, just like his. I looked up at him and he was beat red. A scream sounded from a couple blocks away, causing Spider-Man to break eye contact with me.

“I-I-I have t-to go-” He stuttered as he jumped off the trashcan.

“Wait- will we ever see each other again?” I asked him. He thought for a moment.

“I’ll find you- trust me on that.” He smiled and grabbed his mask. I smiled back as he swung away onto the building. It turns out it was smart of me to trust his word because the next day after school, a little spider, who was out of his costume, met me on my walk home.

~~~~~~~~~~~

anonymous asked:

"I bought you a cat" Bucky

I gotta admit, I died laughing when I saw this.

Originally posted by itsjustmycrazyvibe

Bucky stared back and forth between you and the small plastic crate. He squinted his eyes and tilted his head in confusion.

“Why?” He asked blinking at you.

“I went to a shelter today to do some volunteer work and I met this little guy and he reminded me of you so I got him for you.” You smiled at him.

“A cat, reminded you of me?” He tilted his head the other direction.

“Yes, he’s anti-social just like you. You guys should get along great. I even bought you a litter box and toys!” You held up the plastic bag in your other hand.

You set the crate down and opened the door so Bucky’s new little furry friend could explore the room. He poked his little black head out and looked around before gingerly stepping one paw outside then darting under Bucky’s bed.

“See, he’s already making himself at home!” You took out the supplies and set everything up as Bucky just continued to stare at you. “Have fun you guys!”

- One Week Later -

“How’s the cat?” You looked at Bucky from across the counter before taking a sip of your coffee.

“His name is Sam.” He didn’t bother looking up at you.

“Why?” You tried to hold back a giggle.

“Because he’s an asshole.” Bucky replied.

Nat spit out her coffee all over Steve as you died laughing. Sam threw his hands in the air, clearly offended by Bucky’s statement. Bucky nonchalantly cleaned up his plate throwing it in the sink before walking off to his room, Sam right on his heels.

“That’s not cool man! You can’t do shit like that!” Sam yelled.

“I’m gonna train him to hunt Red Wing next!” That was the last thing you heard before Bucky’s bedroom door slammed shut.


1.2K DRABBLE CELEBRATION

costis in thick as thieves is so different from costis in king of attolia!! i love it!!! part of that’s a pov thing and part of it is that king of attolia is, like, ENTIRELY the story of costis getting manipulated and thrown off balance by eugenides, while thick as thieves is more like ‘costis successfully keeps kamet alive for 200 pages all by himself’

STRANGER THINGS SENTENCE MEME

episode 001-004.

  • ‘something’s coming. something hungry for blood.’
  • ‘wait a minute. did you hear that?’
  • ‘we’re in deep shit!’
  • ‘don’t be a pussy!’
  • ‘just twenty more minutes!’
  • 'yeah, she’s turning into a real jerk.’
  • ‘the cause of the power outage is still unknown.’
  • ‘he came home last night, right?’
  • ‘that’s disgusting.’
  • ‘do it, freak!’
  • ‘it’s like you have superpowers or something.’
  • ‘we just made out a couple times.’
  • ‘i’ll climb through your window. she won’t even know i’m there.’
  • ‘mornings are for coffee and contemplation.’
  • ‘he’s not like that. he wouldn’t do that.’
  • ‘the entire east wing will be evacuated within the hour.’
  • ‘she can’t have gone far.’
  • ‘you think you can steal from me, boy?!’
  • ‘this isn’t some lord of the rings book.’
  • ‘do i make myself clear?’
  • ‘is that why you ran away?’
  • ‘you gotta answer a few of my questions first.’
  • ‘all i know is that she’s scared to death.’
  • ‘you think we got a problem here?’
  • ‘we should be helping look for him.’
  • ‘i always had a distaste for science.’
  • ‘i always figured there was enough going on down here, i never needed to look elsewhere.’
  • ‘this is crazy.’
  • ‘smile looks good on you.’
  • ‘we’re not going back.’
  • ‘i know i haven’t been there for you.’
  • ‘i don’t even barely know what’s going on with you.’
  • ‘i should’ve been there for him.’
  • ‘this was not your fault.’
  • ‘do you guys hear that?’
  • ‘is that blood?’
  • ‘you’re freaking her out!’
  • ‘this is mental.’
  • ‘she’s probably a psycho.’
  • ‘and tomorrow night, we go back out.’
  • ‘hey, um… i never asked your name.’
  • ‘i can’t eat.’
  • ‘you can’t get like this, okay?’
  • ‘we’ve been waiting six hours.’
  • ‘we’ve been searching all night.’
  • ‘he was scared.’
  • ‘if he sees the cops, he’ll think he’s in trouble. he’ll hide.’
  • ‘he’s good at hiding.’
  • ‘cops are good at finding.’
  • ‘you’re in trouble, aren’t you?’
  • ‘they want to hurt you? the bad people?’
  • ‘just stay here, okay? stay here.’
  • ‘what do you say? are you in or out?’
  • ‘oh god… that’s depressing.’
  • ‘i just wanted to say, you know, um… i’m sorry about everything. everyone’s thinking about you.’
  • ‘he’s a smart kid.’
  • ‘all that matters is, after school, the freak will be back in the loony bin, and we can focus on what really matters.’
  • ‘pretty.’
  • ‘just trust me, okay?’
  • ‘i’m so sick of your excuses.’
  • ‘he’s not coming, is he?’
  • ‘you shouldn’t like things because people tell you you’re supposed to.’
  • ‘i don’t know where my boy is. he’s gone.’
  • ‘did you see him? last night? on the road?’
  • ‘i’m not mad at you.’
  • ‘is everything okay?’
  • ‘promise.’
  • ‘i need you alive for the next few days, at least.’
  • ‘missing kid, suicide… you must feel like a big city cop again, huh?’
  • ‘are you out of your mind?!’
  • ‘i think she knows what happened to him.’
  • ‘do you know where he is?!’
  • ‘stop it! you’re scaring her!’
  • ‘that boy was never very good at taking care of himself.’
  • ‘why am i just hearing about this?’
  • ‘it’d be super weird if i’m not there…’
  • ‘it’s just a loud noise. it’s okay.’
  • ‘they won’t tell anyone about you. they promise.’
  • ‘we wouldn’t have upset you if we knew you had superpowers.’
  • ‘what is “friend”?’
  • ‘you promised that you’d go.’
  • ‘we’re gonna have a great time.’
  • ‘he just wants to get into your pants…’
  • ‘make sure i don’t get drunk and do anything stupid.’
  • ‘you ever feel cursed?’
  • ‘hey, come back inside.’
  • ‘you are a cliché, you do realise that?’
  • ‘yeah, she’s smart, you douche!’
  • ‘you’re bleeding.’
  • ‘just go ahead and go home, okay?’
  • ‘jesus, you scared me!’
  • ‘i didn’t think it’d be a big deal.’
  • ‘you can talk to me.’
  • ‘nothing happened.’
  • ‘you need to stop this, okay?’
  • ‘people are looking for him and they’re going to find him.’
  • ‘can you just try and get some sleep? can you do that for me?’
  • ‘you seriously think that the weirdo knows where he is?’
  • ‘if there is something out there, i’m gonna shoot it in the eye - and blind it.’
  • ‘use your powers, okay?’
  • ‘if you get hungry, eat his snacks, okay?’
  • ‘i know the kid’s not in there, but i gotta check off this box.’
  • ‘no one breaks in here. certainly not some kid.’
  • ‘who’s in charge here?’
  • ‘science doesn’t make any damn sense to me.’
  • ‘i seriously have no idea who you’re talking about.’
  • ‘he’s in danger.’
  • ‘he’s dead.’
  • ‘i’m a dick.’
  • ‘he must really have something to hide.’
  • ‘yeah, this isn’t creepy at all.’
  • ‘this is called stalking.’
  • ‘that’s the thing about perverts. it’s hard-wired into them. you know, they just can’t help themselves.’
  • ‘maybe she freaked out when you went all psycho on the psycho.’
  • 'why did they hurt you?’
  • ‘friends tell the truth.’
  • ‘i understand.’
  • ‘tell me what to do.’
  • ‘i think something happened. something terrible.’
  • ‘this is CIA-sanctioned research.’
  • ‘i’m not saying that there’s some grand conspiracy. i’m just saying maybe something happened.’
  • ‘maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and he saw something that he shouldn’t have.’
  • ‘hiding.’
  • ‘don’t waste your time with her.’
  • ‘we are not calling the cops!’
  • ‘please tell me it’s not the kid.’
  • ‘you were supposed to help us find him alive.’
  • ‘why did you lie to us?’
  • ‘what is wrong with you?’
  • ‘whoever you found is not my boy.’
  • he was hiding from that thing.’
  • ‘you’ve gotta stop this…’
  • ‘you’re talking about grief.’
  • ‘i swear to you, i know what i saw. and i’m not crazy.’
  • ‘i’m not saying that you’re crazy.’
  • ‘i need you to believe me.’
  • ‘i want you to try and get some sleep, if you can.’
  • ‘can you please stop that?’
  • ‘i thought we were friends, you know? but friends tell each other the truth.’
  • ‘you hurt me.’
  • ‘are you sure you’re gonna be alright here by yourself?’
  • ‘screw his funeral!’
  • ‘yeah, okay, but why didn’t you just talk to me? that’s crazy.’
  • ‘i don’t know… i was scared.’
  • ‘my parents are gonna murder me!’
  • ‘this is not an okay time for you to shut down.’
  • ‘maybe he’s haunting us.’
  • ‘he’s out there somewhere. all we have to do is find him.’
  • ‘you look pretty good.’
  • ‘we just talked.’
  • ‘the troopers are on duty and you should be safe because we think this is just an isolated incident.’
  • ‘remember, if anyone sees us, look sad.’
  • ‘do you think you can open it?’
  • ‘abort.’
  • ‘she’s missing and something terrible happened to her. i know it! and no one is listening to me!’
  • ‘just leave me alone!’
  • ‘pull me out! pull me out!’
  • ‘what? who is interested in this? this is so stupid.’
  • ‘mouth-breather.’
  • ‘i think that’s a real messed up thing to do.’
  • ‘grief shows itself in funny ways.’
  • ‘i shouldn’t have come here today.’
  • ‘she’s smart. she’s real smart.’
  • so why are you lying to me, man?’
  • ‘what’s your problem, bud?’
  • ‘stick your nose someplace else.’
  • ‘thanks for ruining the game, dick.’
  • ‘you’re gonna get us both killed!’
  • ‘she’ll find him.’
  • ‘i need you to find him.’
  • ‘hurt him?’
  • ‘i i guess i’d rather observe people than, you know…’
  • ‘jesus, the hell happened?’
Day6 As Things I've Overheard
  • Jae: "okay but do we all agree that if I was a dog I would be a chihuahua?"
  • Sungjin: "why is customer service being rude to me that's my children's job"
  • Young K: "if I eat this whole pickle in one bite you gotta pay me 50 bucks"
  • Wonpil: "don't touch me I'm a fucking ray of sunshine"
  • Dowoon: "the only reason I hang out with you guys is because I got waitlisted when I applied for better friends"
The Lego Batman Movie Sentence Starters

“DC. The house that Batman built.”
“Get yourself ready for some…reading.”
“Batman is very wise.”
“Yeah, I’ve got an extra ab.”
“We are transporting 11 million sticks of dynamite, 17,000 pounds of C4, about 150 little cute little classic bomb-type bombs, and two best friends, and request permission to fly over the most crime-ridden city in the world!”
“I’m a loser at home, and I’m a loser at work.”
“You should be terrified.”
“All the C-grade villains have broken into the energy plant!”
“Dear gosh, you destroyed the ___! You have thought of everything!”
“I just wrote a song about how I’m gonna kick all of your butts.”
“Get it together, guys, you’re making me look bad in front of Batman!”
“Save the city or catch your greatest enemy.”
“You think you’re my greatest enemy?”
“I like to fight around.”
“I’m okay with you fighting other people.”
“Remember, kids: If you wanna be like Batman, take care of your abs.”
“Were you looking at the old family pictures again?”
“I don’t talk about feelings.”
“Your greatest fear is being a part of a family again.”
“Tuxedo dress up party!”
“How am I supposed to get ___’s respect when I’m working with these human farts?”
“I’m just so jazzed to meet you!”
“I hate everything you just said.”
“You won’t get to fight any of this anymore.”
“Riddle me this: …what just happened?”
“There are no more vigilantes allowed.”
“You need to take responsibility for your life.”
“I literally have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Hello secret camera!”
“You’ve been watching too many Lifetime movies and drinking chardonnay.”
“Chance of failure is 110%.”
“Sometimes to right a wrong, you have to wrong right.”
“How dare you tell me how to parent my kid I just met.”
“Life doesn’t give you seatbelts!”
“I’m trying to give you a big old hug.”
“What’s the vigilante position on cookies?”
“It’s weirder if it’s not your son…”
“Somebody get this man some pants.”
“You can’t be a hero if you only care about yourself.”
“I got thrown in this heckhole on purpose!”
“I’m gonna go start looting.”
“Ask your nerd friends.”
“Who’s the greatest villain of them all now?!”
“I’m rubbing my butt all over your stuff.”
“Rename this the buttmobile.”
“Do you ever get scared?”
“This is not a family trip.”
“It’s 100% lava.”
“Why did you build this thing only one seat?”
“Last I checked I only had one butt.”
“For a loner, you sure like movies about relationships.”
“Good news, our bathroom problem is solved.”
“We are just one big happy f…raternity of people.”
“I don’t need friends.”
“I swear I’m a good guy.”
“I was trying to protect them…”
“Are they really the ones you’re protecting?”
“Don’t do what I would do!”
“You’ve gotta let me go down there and save them!”
“I don’t even know why you bothered coming back.”
“…I was afraid.”
“I was afraid of feeling the pain you feel when you lose someone close to you.”
“Saving this city is too big a job for one person.”
“Who’s laying down those funky beats?”
“Okay, ___. Bring the pain.”
“As I predicted, we’re doomed!”
“You had me at shut up.”
“How are your abs, bro?”
“Sometimes losing people is part of life, but that doesn’t mean you stop letting them in.”
“This is my family. But it’s your family too.”
“Do you have a knife? Because someone needs to cut the tension between us.”

anonymous asked:

I love Lance, friendship, and your headcanons. May I request some Lance-Hunk, Lance-Keith, Lance-Shiro, and/or Lance-Allura ones (since you've already covered Lance-Pidge)? Please and thank you, you wonderful memer.

i’m so happy someone finally requested the bros

  • *sleepover voice* “hunk… be real with me buddy….. do you think my ears are ugly”
  • they’re drift compatible
    • have mastered the art of the no-look fist bump
    • “jinx! double jinx!! triple jinx!!!”
    • the kings of spontaneous duets
  • hunk’s skin is so soft and lance is so jealous
  • “if i run and leap at hunk he will most certainly catch me in his arms” “lance wait I’m holding coffee-”
  • hunk has receipts and lance lives in fear of them
    • hunk’s known him for too long he’s gotta know a bunch of embarrassing stories
    • whenever lance gets a little too extra all hunk has to do is give him a look™ and he’ll stop like immediately
  • “hunk can you build me a girlfriend”
  • lance: *that friend that’ll text you at 2am to ask if cacti have feelings* 
    • hunk: *that friend who’ll respond with a thoughtful answer and instigate a 3 hour conversation about plant emotions*
  • their relationship is a weird mix between shaggy and scooby doo, drake and josh, and leslie knope and ann perkins
  • pidge: “why are you guys always hanging off of each other like that?” lance, literally sitting in hunk’s lap: “???? what do you mean????”
Making New Rules

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Summary: After Papa Stark finds his daughter and Peter getting steamy, he decides they need to settle some rules if those two are going to become an item.

word count:1798

Part 1  Part 2

Masterlist

YOOO PART 3 OF I DONT PLAY BY THE RULES IS UP! GIVE IT SOME LOVE! HOPE Y’ALL ENJOY!

Originally posted by tonybeifong

To say dinner was awkward was an understatement. Neither of them knew what to say or do, especially since every time the teenagers glanced at each other Tony sent glares in Peter’s direction.

Y/n couldn’t believe her father. Hadn’t he been the one that suggested they dated each other? Sure, he had find them making out in her bed, but still! She glared back at him, trying to make him drop his attitude.

Everyone could feel the tension in the air, especially with the silence that filled the room. Peter wanted to make some conversation, but he knew if he did Mr. Stark might throw the knife at him. He felt really bad about dating his daughter, the one girl that was off limits, but still, he couldn’t believe the girl he had had a crush for over a year actually liked him back. It felt too good to be real.

Everyone ate their food lost in their own thoughts, trying their hardest to avoid what they knew was next. Y/n knew her father would have a “friendly” conversation with Peter, which would scare him off, just like every other boyfriend of hers. The difference was she would actually care if this one went away.

They spend the longest hour eating, but after it was obvious what they were doing Tony finally stand up, dragging the chair loudly, making both teenagers look at him.

“Well Peter, if you’re done pretending to eat, I’ll like to have a word or two with you, in private”

Peter stared at Y/n and back at her father. He knew she couldn’t save him from this one. He had to go with him and hope for the best. He stood up and followed as Mr. Stark went into his office, not waiting for him. He glanced back at the girl one more time, and just the sight of her giving him an apologetic and worried look was enough for him to gather some courage and finally step into the room.

He closed the door behind him and looked around the office, until he finally spotted the man, looking through the big glass wall, staring at the city under them. He approached him slowly, remaining a couple feet behind him.

“Peter, you see the city, all the people in it? How many people do you think there are in New York? How many girls? There has to be at least a dozen girls in it, different sizes, shapes, ages”

“I uhh- I guess there are many”

“Then-” Tony turned around and faced him, getting a step closer to him “Why did you choose the one girl I told you not to?”

Before Peter could even open his mouth Mr. Stark was talking again, not caring about his actual answer.

“My girl is the most important thing for me! If all you wanted was a pretty face to fool around with I can introduce you to someone! Obviously not prettier than Y/n, cause she has like, really good genes- but still”

Peter could not believe what he was listening to. It had taken him a whole year for Y/n to notice him, he wasn’t about to give up on the girl of his dreams.

“It’s not like that! I- I don’t- I don’t want anybody else!”

“Why not?!”

“Because she is Y/n! I mean- her looks are a bonus but I want to get to know her, I want her to fall for me and make her happy. She is not only intelligent but also the kindest person, and she is also very funny and I just-really like her”

“How would you know? It’s not like you ever talked to her before!”

“I didn’t knew I had a chance until yesterday! If I weren’t spider man she would’ve rejected me!”

As soon as the words left Peter mouth he realised it wasn’t the smartest idea, but it was already too late. The man in front of him got an upset and angry look that suggested he wanted to murder him in the spot.

“If you really think that way about my daughter then you shouldn’t date her”

Peter knew it was wrong to even think about it, but honestly, why would the perfect girl even glance in his direction if it weren’t for the suit? Also, she just made a move once she realised who he was.

“Why else would she even think of dating me? I’m nothing compared to her”

Tony sighed as he took a seat in the couch in his office, patting the seat beside him for Peter. The boy went and sat next to him, as the man spoke.

“Lemme tell you a story about Y/n’s first day at school Peter. I thought that maybe homeschooling wasn’t the best option for her, so hey, why not send her to a public school? Get her to have the whole high school experience right? However after she arrived from her first day I knew I  was fucked. Peter, why do you think Y/n is so popular?”

“Because of you?”

“Exactly! So like at first it was ok, she had a ton of friends, but all of the sudden all the boys wanted to get into her pants, apparently you included- But she never payed attention to none, until that first day she arrived home from school and started rambling about a familiar sounding boy-

“She said she had seen the cutest boy in her Chemistry class. Apparently not only was he “cute” but also super smart.”

Tony proceed to try to imitate his daughter puppy eyes and her voice, making a lovesick grin while he continued.

“I’m telling you dad! He has the softest brown eyes! And curly hair and he is just- the most handsome boy I’ve ever seen. He is also super smart and- has like all the answers for everything! He is in the decathlon team and seriously dad, he might be smarter than your geniuses in the lab down here!”

“Everyday she would come home with one of her stories about cute brown eyes boy, until she finally discovered your name and told me”

Peter had never felt so confused. Did Y/n liked him since so long ago? Why hadn’t she said anything? They had both been pinning when they could have actually been together?

“So, you see why I’m not into the idea of you guys dating? You’re the one boy that might actually hurt my daughter, or take her away from me”

“I would never do either of those things. I really like her and I know- I know how it feels to lose people, I would never do that to you”

Tony finally loosen up to his words and gave him a side hug, while ruffling his hair.

“I know you mean no harm kid, but she is the most important person in my life, we gotta settle some rules if you really want to be with her”

“I do, and I promise I’ll try to follow them this time”

“So, first rule, no touching kid, even though you already broke that rule, try to keep your hands to yourself”

Peter knew that rule was going to be broken many times, and Tony seemed to realise as he pushed the boy and punched his arm.

“You could at least try! Okay new rule, no touching in front of me, and once the time is right we’ll have a safe talk- but that doesn’t mean I give you permission to bone my daughter!”

“What? No- Of course not! Okay so, second rule?”

“Your job is to protect her, if I’m not around then it’s your duty! Don’t let people find out about her and you being spider man! Don’t let your enemies get close to her or I swear I’ll kill you myself kiddo”

“I won’t let them anywhere near her I promise”

“Last but not least you have to maker her the happiest girl okay? She comes home crying because of you and I’ll make sure you pay for it Peter, and I mean it- especially if you break my rules. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my daughter”

“I know Mr. Stark- and also- I- I wanted to apologize for before. I shouldn’t have betrayed your trust, especially after everything you’ve done for me and-”

“I’m sorry Peter, I overreacted- and to be honest, I’ll rather have her date you than any other asshole. Anyways, We should go met Y/n, she must think I already killed you”

With these final words Tony got up and opened the door as he called for Y/n to come in, even though she was probably pretending not to spy on them.

“Everything’s settled then, I have a meeting to go, you guys finish your homework. Goodbye honey”

He kissed Y/n’s forehead, ignoring the surprised look she gave him and stepped out, leaving them alone.

“God what did he told you? I thought I’d heard some yelling in here”

The girl came next to him and cuddled beside him as he hugged her from the side.

“He was actually very cool about it, he even told me some interesting stuff”

She looked at him while Peter played with her hair, a knowing grin in his face.

“What did he told you?”

“Just stuff”

“Tell meeee!”

“He might’ve told me the story about the soft brown eyed boy”

She blushed and hide her face in his chest, as he laughed at her reaction.

“I can’t believe you had a crush on me!”

“Pete stop it! We’re dating!”

“Still! I still can’t believe it tho, we could’ve been dating for almost a year!

“Well, it’s your fault we had to wait all this time! You should’ve asked me out!”

“Well, you never talked to me either! How was I supposed to know you liked awkward dorky Peter?”

“That’s because I always thought you saw me as a mean superficial bimbo girl! I never thought you’d go out with someone like that! At least not when there were a dozen of girls better than me!”

Peter looked down at the girl in his arms and removed the hair from her face, cupping her cheek and bringing her close to him. She looked perfect next to him, looking expectantly at him, trying to get closer before he talked again.

“You’re the only girl for me”

He finally pulled her in for a kiss. This one felt different. It was sweet and slow, making his heart full with happiness. He knew next to her he didn’t had to worry about anything else, he had all the time in the world by her side.

“I guess the wait was worth it”

“It totally was”

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VIXX: dating Leo would include

▪ this boy would feel like his heart is gonna burst every time he looks at you 

 ▪ would be so smitten and everyone would know 

 ▪ even though he has a poker face most of the time, around you he can’t help it 

▪ he’d burst into a smile or small smirk 

 ▪ esp when you say something funny or try to make him laugh

 ▪ which he’ll never admit that you can do 

 ▪ omg whenever he smiles openly to you it feels like the sun shining down on you 

▪ N fawning over you two 

▪ “aww look, Taekwoonie, y/n brought food for everyone" 

▪ Ravi teaching you some ways to make him laugh and you’d always succeed (not bc you made him laugh tho, he just thinks you’re adorable) 

▪ Ken teaching you how to perfect your aygeo 

 ▪ then getting shoved violently by Taekwoon bc back off, she’s mine 

▪ but if you actually do aygeo in front of him, he’ll visibly melt 

 ▪ and then hide his face in his sleeves bc wtf why you gotta embarrass him in front of the guys like that 

▪ but in private it’s a whole different story

 ▪ he’ll practically tackle you and attack your face and neck with kisses 

 ▪ watches you as you put on lip balm or lipstick 

 ▪ and it’d be a waste of product bc it’ll be off your lips in .00003 seconds 

 ▪ you making him catch his breath whenever you dress up in something fancy 

▪ “jagi, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful” “You always say that, taekwoonie" 

 ▪ man, he gets so scary when jealous 

 ▪ even when you’re not doing it intentionally, he’d frown and stare down at whoever awakened his wrath 

 ▪ not bc he’s begging for your attention (he is, but it’s internal ok) but bc he thinks the other guy has bad intentions and his first thought would be to protect you

 ▪ is not afraid to get into fights for you if necessary

 ▪ secretly loves it when you grab his hand when you sense he’s nervous 

 ▪ bites your shoulders and neck a lot, idk I just see him always doing this 

▪ knows how hard it is for you during that time of the month, mostly bc he has 3 older sisters and he’s dealt with it before lmao 

 ▪ aw he’d buy you a bunch of sweets and quietly whispers to you about anything while rubbing your tummy 

 ▪ speaking of his sisters 

 ▪ omg he gets so happy when you get along with all of them, and blushes like crazy when they make jokes about him marrying you

 ▪ which isn’t really a joke but Taekwoon needs to be low key 

 ▪ sometimes having to pull him away from his work bc he gets too into it and forgets about sleep 

▪ he’d quietly thank you and kiss your forehead as you two snuggle

 ▪ singing to you in his angelic voice and you’d melt bc he’s looking right into your soul

 ▪ over time you know when to give him space if he needs it, and he’d appreciate that so much and does the same for you 

 ▪ except when you two fight, but that’s very rare 

 ▪ he’d never leave your side after an argument bc he just can’t sleep knowing you’re angry with him or vice versa

 ▪ he’d always apologize even if he knows he was in the right 

 ▪ buys you the most thoughtful gifts even when he’s away 

 ▪ accompanied by heartfelt letters and sweets from a foreign country, and ugly selfies sent in by all the members 

 ▪ he’d love you with all his heart and will always be there for you 

▪ if you’re lucky enough to catch this shy kitten, pls keep him forever 😻

Originally posted by chained-up-taekwoon