why would you... i don't even know

ainawgsd  asked:

What if humans are the only species that gets "mystery" bruises? How weird would it be to aliens that we can sustain an injury that leaves a mark lasting days or sometimes weeks but don't remember how we got it?

I love it!

Humans are already terrifying enough, but then it gets injuries like contusions (which is deadly to several species mind you!) and it doESN’T EVEN KNOW WHY?!?!?!?

At first the interspecies council thinks it’s a joke. Yes, it has already been established that a human just plain won’t die (with very few exceptions, like decapitation) and contusions aren’t that dangerous for most species. That it’d be unsuccessful at killing a human wasn’t surprising, but that they some times don’t even know how they’ve gotten the contusion? No that has to be a joke.

It’s ruled as another myth until a member of the council travels with a ship with a few human crew-members. Trofaxiq the Elder had taken a stroll around the ship a few days into the voyage when he heard two humans talking.

“Maybe you walked into something?” The tall, highly pigmented one said, inspecting something on the slightly shorter, less pigmented one.

“Yeah, you know I’m clumsy, but the position’s weird, isn’t it?” The shorter one said, looking down at their own appendage.

“So maybe you got it in your sleep?” The tall one suggested as the short one spotted Trofaxiq the Elder and jabbed its appendage into their fellow human’s sternum. A less experienced Froentir would have mistaken it for an attack, but Trofaxiq the Elder knew enough about human behaviour to know it was called a ‘nudge’ and was socially acceptable. 

After the normal exchange of greetings and pleasantries, Trofaxiq the Elder eventually asked the humans what they had been discussing. The tall one, Fatima, said the short one, Lucía had gotten a bruise, but couldn’t remember how. Unsure what a bruise was, Trofaxiq the Elder asked, but quickly came to wish they hadn’t as they saw the large contusion on the humans appendage.

Less than one rotation later, the human guide had been updated, and a suggestion had been made to add a classification so they could mark humans down as more dangerous than the previous  “extremely dangerous, do not approach in the wild”

The only problem was how useful humans could be to expeditions. In the end, the suggestion wasn’t passed, to the worry of many council members.

  • Rich: How long have you been sleeping with Michael?
  • Jeremy: What? I don't even get...Why would...I...I've never had sex with anyone anywhere. It's none of your... You have the nerve, the audacity... An how... How do I know, frankly, that you're not sleeping with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you're trying to throw me off.
  • Interviewer: So do you know if Bucky is gonna be Captain America?
  • Seb, internally: Okay just tell them you don't know and try to avoid suspicion.
  • Seb: I MEAN MAYBE I DON'T KNOW THEY NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHY WOULD I KNOW SOMETHING LIKE THAT I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING EVER I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE MOVIE TITLE THEY NEVER TELL ME ANYTHING
  • Seb, internally: Nailed it.
Dangerous Loyalty RP Starters
  • "It scares me what I'm willing to do for you."
  • "I don't care about anyone else, you're all that matters to me!"
  • "You know you can't refuse me anything I ask of you."
  • "You know I'd never refuse anything you asked of me."
  • "Say the word and I'm yours forever."
  • "If you love me as much as you say, then prove it."
  • "It's time that you proved your loyalty to me."
  • "I'll serve you forever if you'll allow me to do it."
  • "What will it take to make you go back on your oath of loyalty?"
  • "Will you trust me with the rest of your life?"
  • "My life is in your hands."
  • "You're going to take this gun, you're going to pull the trigger and you're going to shoot them. And do you know why? Because I told you to do it."
  • "I'd die if you asked me to."
  • "You would die if I asked you to."
  • "I could stab you in the heart and you would still come crawling back."
  • "You can do anything you want to me, I don't care!"
  • "I'll take the fall for you."
  • "I want you to take the fall for me."
  • "I could never act against you, not even to defend myself."
  • "My safety isn't important! You're what matters!"
  • "If hurting me is what makes you happy, then I'm only happy to indulge you."
7

did some facial ref practice with the vento aureo gang also @ davidpro part 5 when????

  • sam: how long have you been sleeping with cas?
  • dean: what? i don't even get...why would i...
  • dean: i've never had sex with anyone, anywhere
  • sam: ...
  • dean: it's none of your...you have the nerve, the AUDACITY
  • dean: and how do i know, quite frankly, that YOU'RE not sleeping with him?
  • dean: maybe you are. maybe you're trying to throw me off.
  • sam: ...
  • dean: oH SHIT YOU AREn'T ARE YOU?? HE'S MINE SAM
oblivious
  • Rowan: Does your heart speed up when you see her?
  • Lorcan: Yes.
  • Rowan: Do you want to kill whoever made her frown?
  • Lorcan: Yes.
  • Rowan: Will you protect her to whatever end?
  • Lorcan: Yes.
  • Rowan: Do you wish her to not be with another male?
  • Lorcan: Yes.
  • Rowan: You would die for her?
  • Lorcan: Yes.
  • Rowan: You would chop up your shirt into linen shirts for her when she's on her monthly cycles and sacrifice your own life for her and damn the entire world just to make sure she's safe and protect her even when you have a separate mission and obey all her orders willingly and slaughter anyone should she deem so?
  • Lorcan: Yes.
  • Rowan: Do you know what this means?
  • Lorcan: No.
  • Rowan: You don't know what's happening to you?
  • Lorcan: I fail to see why this is important.
  • Elide: He fails to see a lot of things.

anonymous asked:

i don't know if you listened to the show but when he was asked, like, it was next scale stuttering. it was absolutely horrible, he obviously had to drag it out and articulate it in a way that obviously meant "no" (like he's literally in closet, why would they even bother) but it was very painful, and it obviously caught him off guard. like, if larry wasn't real he could've just laughed it off and ended the rumours for good, but he didn't. and it was absolutely heartbreaking.

I am listening now and yes, it’s so BAD. and the question was even WORSE omg ????? the girl was like QUOTING stuff (of course they said FANS all over twitter were saying it….) the question was literally, ‘since you said TWO HEARTS IN ONE HOME IS IT ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON??’ …i wanted to DIE listening to it, i can only imagine how Harry felt and if his silence and the stutter to answer the question was anything to go by…… F U C K THEM honestly. i hope they are called out and blocked from any other interview with him.

  • abled person: why do you hardly ever go out? how come you don't work?
  • disabled person: oh I don't know maybe because of the lack of help and support, lack of medical care and lack accommodations for disabled people which is something that causes my conditions to flare up something which I have no help with from so called medical professionals who don't understand or treat my conditions. Don't forget the fact that some places are totally inaccessible to those of us with mobility issues. If we had the adaptions, healthcare and support we needed we would be able to go out and do more and maybe even work or study.
  • abled person: OMG WHY SHOULD YOU GET SPECIAL TREATMENT I DON'T GET SPECIAL TREATMENT AND NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE AND WE STILL MANAGE TO WORK!!
  • Marinette: Do you have a crush on Chloe?
  • Alya: I dont even get- why would- i've never had a crush on anyone, anywhere, its none of your- you have- the nerve, the audacity, Chloe is my enemy, technically. And she is terrible, face-wise. And how- how- do I know, frankly, that you don't have a crush on her? Maybe you do. Maybe you're trying to throw me off? Hmm check and mate.
Jimin introducing his girlfriend Y/N to BTS
  • JIMIN: Hey guys, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Y/N.
  • Y/N: Hi :)
  • JUNGKOOK: Whoa! You're really pretty!...Why are you going out with Jimin?
  • JIMIN: Shut up JK.
  • NAMJOON: No he's got a point.
  • JIN: I agree.
  • JIMIN: (To Y/N) I'm sorry about them, they aren't this embarrassing, sometimes.
  • Yoongi's Brain: Must. Kill. Bitch. Who. Stole. My. Man.
  • YOONGI: So how did you guys meet?
  • Y/N: At a coffee shop. I didn't have enough change so Jimin sweetly offered to pay for my drink.
  • Yoongi's Brain: Oh so you're a gold digger.
  • YOONGI: Nice.
  • TAEHYUNG: So Y/N, are you a fan of BTS?
  • Y/N's brain: OMFG YASSSSS AHAHAHAH
  • Y/N: Yeah I've listened to some songs.
  • JIN: Who's your favorite. Never mind I'm sure you don't want to say me in front of your boyfriend.
  • JIMIN: I swear Jin if you weren't a couple years older..
  • Jin pushes his chest out at Jimin.
  • JIN: WHAT? WHAT? What would you do.
  • Y/N laughs at this.
  • JUNGKOOK: Wow, even her laugh is cute. So seriously why are you with Chim?
  • Y/N laughs harder.
  • JIN: So who was your favorite member?
  • Y/N: Well, before I met Jimin it was V, but now that I've gotten to know and love Jimin its him all the way.
  • BTS: OUUUUUHHHHHH
  • HOSEOK: Jimin you better watch out for Taetae.
  • Taehyung approaches Y/N suavely. Even though she only has eyes for Jimin, Y/N is freaking out because Taehyung is her second favorite in the band.
  • TAEHYUNG: Should I sing for you?
  • Taehyung moves to kiss Y/N's hand and the rest of the members are losing their shit, cheering him on. Jimin immediately steps between them and pulls Y/N behind him.
  • JIMIN: UMMM?! DO YOU WANNA DIE?!
  • TAEHYUNG: It was a joke Chim relax.
  • JIMIN: UGH. Let's go Y/N, I knew this was a bad idea.
  • NAMJOON: No don't go!
  • JUNGKOOK: Yeah I still need to figure out why she's with you!
  • JIN: Y/N can you cook? Please, I need to know.
  • Yoongi's brain: Finally. Fucking bitch.
  • YOONGI: (Unenthusiastic tired sarcastic voice) No.. don't go..
  • Y/N: Bye everyone! See you soon.
  • Jimin and Y/N leave.
  • Yoongi's Brain: Exhales.
  • Jungkook's brain: Man, Y/N's hot. I still don't get why she's with him.
  • A/N;
  • All jokes aside, I know Jimin is fine AF. Like helloooOo!! But lmao i just wrote Jungkook like that cuz of the running joke with him ranking Jimin 7th in looks (I'm sure he doesn't really believe that and is just kidding) Anyways, the chat was jokes. Hope you laughed!
  • ~Armygirl
  • Isabelle: How long have you been in love with Magnus?
  • Alec: I don't even get- why would- I've never loved anyone. Anywhere. It’s none of your- you have- the nerve, the audacity, Magnus is my enemy, technically. And he is terrible, face-wise. And how- how- do I know, frankly, that you’re not in love with him? Maybe you are. Maybe you’re trying to throw me off? Hmm check and mate
  • george washington: how long have you been sleeping with jefferson?
  • alexander hamilton: that’s disgusting. and wrong. i don’t even get– why would– i've never had sex with anyone, anywhere. it's none of your- you have- the nerve, the audacity, jefferson is my enemy, technically. and he is terrible, face-wise. and how- how- do i know, frankly, that you’re not sleeping with him? maybe you are. maybe you’re trying to throw me off? check and mate.
Hamilton  songs explained by my friend
  • Alexander Hamilton: "did they just rhyme father with father and farther?"
  • Aaron Burr, Sir: "this antisocial man is so done with this overeager puppy and this random ass boyband"
  • My Shot: the overeager puppy joins the boyband. somehow becomes the front man of the band. they gain lots of fans.
  • The Story of Tonight: The boyband covers a song from les mis???
  • The Schuyler Sisters: WHERES YOUR GOD NOW @ boyband.
  • Farmer Refuted: boyband has a hater. Front man puppy roasts hater before he can he even start to talk.
  • You'll be back: to be sung draped over a piano with with champagne fake crying into a handkerchief
  • Right Hand Man: "there's a moment you know... you're fucked. aND THATS RN PEOPLE I SWEAR TO GOD.
  • A Winters Ball: "20 year old males who drink are gross and do gross 20 year old drunk male things"
  • Helpless: "this could be the start of something new it feels so right being here with you"
  • Satisfied: "I've done fucked up"
  • The Story of Tonight reprise: the boyband gets drunk and harass the antisocial man (again)
  • wait for it: the song that could get away with going on the radio
  • Stay Alive: tfw ur dad doesn't trust you to lead an army #relatable
  • Ten Duel Commandments: "Revolutionary men have fragile pride and I don't know why they were trusted with guns"
  • Meet Me Inside: "the puppy gets fired because he got mad that his father figure acknowledges the fact that he's a father figure"
  • That Would Be Enough: "you're not even a father figure you're a legit father"
  • Guns and Ships: "surprise bitch, tis I le baguette here to win the war"
  • history has it's eyes on you: I fucked up once. and now it's your turn to.
  • Yorktown (the world turned upside down): surprise BITch (part 2) herCULES MULLIGAN-
  • What comes next?: I'm petty as shit.
  • Dear Theodosia: "Burr imma let you finish but, loOk AT MY SON
  • Non-Stop: the puppy and boyband have been separated since the war so the puppy decides to go into law then government
  • What'd I miss: the war??? wtf???
  • Cabinet Battle #1: "I know more than you" -Ron Swanson
  • Take A Break: use your fucking commas and don't use child actors to play your children
  • Say No to This: ... you are singing the word "no" you should be able to say it
  • The Room Where it Happens: the banjo turn up of the century
  • Schuyler Defeated: antisocial man and the puppy have a falling out
  • Cabinet Battle #2: (sips tea) (slowly puts it down and turns)..... you must be out of yoUR GODDAMN MIND IF YOU THINK-
  • Washington on your side: I am ready to throw punches
  • One Last Time: I'm tired... I think I'm gonna go home now.
  • I Know Him: The John Adams Roast begins
  • The Adams Administration: The Roast continues
  • We Know: well fuck,we actually didn't know
  • Hurricane: I will roast myself and save everyone else the trouble of doing it.
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: "YOU MUsT BE OUT OF YOUR GOD DAMN MIND" -Angelica, and literally the whole cast
  • Burn: I have no words, only tears.
  • Blow us all away: you thought it would be okay... you were wrong.
  • Stay Alive (reprise): tears intensify
  • It's Quiet Uptown: full fledged sobbing 2 minutes into the song
  • The Election of 1800: ham and jefferson roast burr to the point of no return
  • Your Obedient Servant: the slightly bitchy passive aggressive anthem
  • Best Of Wives, Best of Women: a single tear because we all know what's gonna happen next
  • The World Was Wide Enough: "most disputes die and no one shoots" is the biggest goddamn lie in the show
  • Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story: hello death I welcome thee.
NaLu during 520 Wake Up
  • Natsu: *jerks up awake*
  • Lucy: *frozen* (thoughts) crap! How can I explain this?!
  • Natsu: Eh, Luce?
  • Lucy: maybe if I'm quiet, he won't notice...
  • Natsu: Lucy? Where are we?
  • Lucy: *blinks* huh?
  • Natsu: Where are we?
  • Lucy: *covers herself* that's all you have to ask?
  • Natsu: what else would I ask?
  • Lucy: I don't know, like, maybe, I don't know, why I'm naked?!
  • Natsu: Lucy, you're naked more than you're dressed. I quit asking that a long time ago.
  • Lucy: *insulted to the extreme* I don't know why I was even worried about you! Jerk!!! *slap*
  • Dinah: Mila, how long have you been sleeping with Lauren?
  • Camila: What?
  • Dinah: How long have you been sleeping with Lauren?
  • Camila: That's disgusting and wrong. I don't even get... why would I?
  • Camila: I've never had sex with anyone, anywhere.
  • Camila: It’s none of your… You have… The nerve, the audacity…
  • Camila: Lauren is my bandmate. And she is... terrible, face wise.
  • Camila: And how… How do I know, frankly, that you’re not sleeping with her?
  • Camila: Maybe you are, maybe you’re trying to throw me off.
  • Camila: Check and mate.
Jealousy

*Daveed Diggs x reader
*Word count: 1206

Summary: You and the rest of the original cast are hanging out at Daveed’s apartment for a little cast party when somehow, Oak gets the dumbest idea to play seven minutes in heaven, and now you’re stuck in a closet with Groff and Daveed doesn’t like that very much and basically iT GETS WILD K

A/N: Okay, so I’m ALMOST finished with part two of Broadway, but of course, I ended up getting writers block right in the middle of writing it and now I can’t seem to think of any good ideas for it and then this fic happened. Requests are open and I’ll try to get Broadway out sometime this week! Love you guys :)

Warnings: Um the usual ,,, cursing and love confessions whooP

masterlist

Originally posted by wegotitmadeintheshade


“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” You mutter as you take off your most precious possession, a diamond necklace your mother had given to you when you were younger, and put it into the beanie that Oak was holding out to you with a smug expression.

“Relax, Y/n/n,” Groff teases as he puts his watch into the beanie, using your childhood nickname that you despised. “Yeah,” Daveed snickered, sitting on the other side of you. “It’ll be fun.” You scoffed, blowing your hair out of your eyes as you turned to face Daveed and Groff with an incredulous expression. “Yeah, for you guys.” You huffed, crossing your arms and trying to ignore the blush that decided to make an appearance on your features when Daveed slung an arm across your shoulders.

Of course, that blush didn’t go unnoticed to Pippa and Lin, who simply looked at each other and smirked, before turning away and facing you two again.

Eventually, everyone had put an item into the basket and now Jazzy was drawing an item from the beanie, and when she finally pulled it out, everyone groaned when she pulled out Anthony’s bracelet, “no fun,” Renee complained, shaking her head before laughing a bit at the irony of Jasmine pulling out her boyfriend’s item.

“Whatever, let’s go,” Anthony laughed, leading Jasmine to the closet. “Don’t be too loud, you two! We’re still here!” Lin whooped, snickering a bit when you leaned across to smack him gently on the shoulder.

Seven minutes later, both Jasmine and Anthony walked out, Anthony with a smug expression and Jasmine with her cheeks tinted pink and disheveled hair. Oak whistled, winking playfully at the two.

“Alright, Groffsauce, it’s your turn.” Oak called out, handing the beanie to Groff so he could draw something from the beanie. He then pulled out your necklace, which made him immediately stand up and bow in your direction, using his fake British accent he used every night, “M’lady,” he teased, holding out his hand for you to take.

Of course, you didn’t notice Daveed tensing up when you took his hand and allowed him to lead you to the closet. “Don’t go crazy!” Anthony laughed, high fiving Lin and Oak, whereas Daveed just crossed his arms and muttered bitter words under his breath, which made everyone turn their attention to him and laugh.

“What? You don’t like it that your girlfriend is in the closet with Groff right now?” Lin cooed teasingly, pinching Daveed’s cheeks which made him groan and slap Lin’s hands away. “Shut up, she’s not my girlfriend,” he pouted, and it was obvious that he was upset.

“This is a stupid game anyway.” Daveed muttered, running a hand through his wild hair. “Chill out, D.” Renee rolled her eyes, “you’re acting like a child. You know they don’t like each other romantically and nothing’s gonna happen.” Daveed sighed, he knew it was true, but there was still this lingering feeling in him that wouldn’t go away.

After the seven minutes were up, you and Groff walked out, Groff sporting lipstick on his cheeks and forehead, which made everyone whistle playfully. “I’m never cleaning my face again, my love.” Groff sighed playfully, pretending to swoon as he took your hand and batted his eyes. You both sat down and you cupped his face, “I’ll love you forever, my dear.” You pretended, trying not to crack.

Daveed couldn’t take that and immediately stood up, muttering something about grabbing a drink and storming off, his fists clenched.

You frowned, removing your hand from Groff’s and looking at everyone, “what happened?” You wandered, making everyone shrug, yet you knew that from the expressions they all had, they knew. But you didn’t push and only sighed, getting up to go find the man and ask him what was wrong.

You found him, pouring some vodka into a shot glass and chugging it immediately, slamming the small glass cup onto the marble counter. “D?” You wandered, moving towards him and gently placing your hand  on his bicep, frowning up at him. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, rolling his eyes and muttered something, though you couldn’t understand.

This went on for a few more minutes before you got annoyed, pulling away from Daveed and glaring him. “Daveed, look at me right now.” He groaned, setting the glass he was ready to drink down and looked at you with a stone cold expression.

“What’s up with you? You were fine before me and Groff went into the closet.” You ranted slightly, “and now- now you’re acting like a child! And I don’t know how to help you!” You threw your hands in the air to make it a bit more dramatic, narrowing your eyes at him.

“God, it’s nothing, Y/n. Just leave it alone.” He growled, shaking his head.

“But it is something.” You argued back, stepping a bit closer to him which made him narrow his eyes as he took a shaky breath.

“Fine, you really want to know?” He cracked, making you nod your head. “I-I, I love you,” he laughed, no humor lacing his voice as he spoke. “This is so cheesy and stupid but when I saw Groff pull your stupid necklace out of that stupid beanie, it was the worst feeling in the world.” He continued. “And I know you would never date him and he doesn’t like you romantically but it’s still an awful feeling-”

“Daveed, shut up.”

He stopped, looking down at you with a hurt expression when you pulled his face down to meet yours, pressing your lips to his.

It took a few moments for him to reciprocate but he finally did, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up onto the counter, kissing you as if he stopped, you’d be gone.

You both eventually, and reluctantly, pulled away to catch your breath, smiling breathlessly at each other.


When you both went back, hand in hand, you were greeted with this scene~

“Who the hell put a deck of cards in the beanie?” Oak groaned, frowning at the deck in his hands which made Lin sheepishly raise his hand.

“What? Did you seriously think we would make out? Nuh uh. We’re gonna play Go Fish for the next seven minutes.”

“Why do you even carry a deck of cards with you?”

“You never know when you’ll need them.”

“You’re so weird.”

“I know.”

@niallsgoc @harryandlouisarehappilystrong @verseziam @malikaesthetics @professionally-fangirling  @champaynezaddy Basically these Liam ‘fans’ on twitter have him as a part of a groupchat and just posted screenshots of their convos where they mostly talk crap about him and he sees everything and today he started responding and saying “please stop being mean” and they kept continuing and multiple times he messages them saying “don’t talk shit” or “why would you say something like?” And he basically saw EVERYTHING and then they were like omg Liam saw us talking shit about him and he was like “I’m always here I see everything” and then they were like we won’t defend ur stupid actions LIAM and we only criticize u as fans or something like that and despite them talking so much shit he still said “it’s ok I love you” …. it was just….. and they found it funny and I was so upset because they were talking shit about him and he repeatedly asked them to stop and they still continued and only one person eventually said we only do it cus we love you and he still said I love you too….. I can’t….. if u have LIAM in a group chat why would u talk shit? They’re not fans…. I don’t understand this logic….. I’m so upset right now u don’t even know.

  • Inej: How long have you been in love with Nina?
  • Matthias: That's disgusting. And wrong. I don't even get- why would- I've never loved anyone. Anywhere. It’s none of your- you have- the nerve, the audacity, Nina is my enemy, technically. And she is terrible, face-wise. And how- how- do I know, frankly, that you’re not in love with her? Maybe you are. Maybe you’re trying to throw me off? Hmm check and mate