why would you give her a hammer

Byun Baekhyun//Psych - Part 6

Originally posted by progamerbyun

Summary: After a month of being broke at college, you finally find a place to stay, but the only con is that there is nine other people you have to share a house with - one in particular who makes it his mission to irritate you at every turn - but they’re hiding something from you. Something big. (1/ 2/ 3/ 45/ 6/ 7)
Scenario: Werewolf!AU, college!AU, series
Word Count: 5,398

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I Saw Her First (Steve Rogers/Clark Kent x reader)

Many superheroes preferred to keep their true lives a secret from the people they protected, but they didn’t mind if they knew each other’s identities; it was almost like a secret club with a code of honored exclusivity.  It was unheard of to out a fellow member, so in an effort to keep the temptation away, Tony threw an annual party at the tower with the hottest ticket in New York that no civilian would ever get their hands on.  It was a party where heroes were free to be themselves; their true selves without the masks and capes, usually drawing in a few new members with each year as the superhero community continued to grow. It was growing so fast, in fact, that after only a few parties, the word of the event had spread like wildfire. Universes began to collide, and heroes who would have never known the other existed formed welcome friendships.

That’s how Superman and Captain America became the mischievous troublemakers of the superhero world.  With a common proclivity for stress relief through humor, the new duo spent nearly as much time plotting their next move as they did saving the world.

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Drarry - Coffee Shop AU - Inspired by this post.



~~

Today your barista is:

1)         Hella fucking gay.

2)         Desperately single.

For your drink today I recommend:

You give me him your number.

~~

Harry choked back a laugh as his gaze shot from the blazing sign to the quaint little coffee shop. It was a pretty little store, one he’d walked passed multiple times but had never frequented. The sign itself was enough incentive to provoke his growing curiosity, even if all he did was catch a gander at the supposed hella fucking gay barista.

“Well,” a laughing voice remarked to his right. “That’s one way to get attention.” The bushy-brunette coughed, her eyebrows lifting in amusement as a small smile appeared on her lips.

Ron snorted. “Seems a little desperate if you ask me,” he muttered from beside her. “Who honestly can’t just walk up to someone and ask them out?”

“This is coming from the same bloke who danced around his fiancée for years.”

“Shut up, Harry.”

The door to the café suddenly swung open, the little bell tinkling angrily as someone stormed out. The three scrambled to get out of the way as a familiar young man with dark hair shoved passed, hard eyes set on the street and hands clenched determinedly at his sides.

Ron’s eyebrows rose. “Was that Dean?” he asked in surprise.

“Dean Thomas? From school?” Harry’s head swung around, trying to catch sight of their old school-mate as the male disappeared into the crowded street. “I wonder what got him so riled up?”

“I can only imagine,” Hermione mused, eyeing the sign with delight. “Well come on then, let’s go inside. I would love a coffee and maybe we can get Harry a boyfriend.”

The brunet spluttered. “Hermione!”

But the female had already stepped inside, her giggles drifting through the doorway.

“Better follow her mate,” Ron advised. “Otherwise you might get saddled with some tosser.”


“For the last time, Pansy, take the damn sign down.

“Not until we find you a man, Draco,” replied the dark-haired female. “You’ve been such a git lately—you really need to get laid.”

A faint blush began to creep up Draco’s neck and he all but glared at the silver coffee machine as he flicked the grinder switch, hoping the shrill crunch of grinding coffee beans was enough to drown out his supposed best friend.

Draco!

Evidently not enough.

Pansy is going to be the death of me… he thought morosely.

“Look at what just walked in!”

Biting back the retort he desperately wished to spit out, Draco glanced over despite himself.

And blanched.

“The red-head?” he whispered furiously. “Pansy, what the fu—”

“Not the red-head, you idiot! The guy next to him!” Pansy reached over and began tugging excitably on the blond’s shirt sleeve.

“Stop that!” Draco snapped, yanking his arm away as he readjusted his gaze.

And felt his stomach clench.

The brunet was all green eyes and tousled black hair, a goofy smile on his face as he pulled a red and gold scarf from around his neck. His… deliciously tanned neck. Draco could only stare as the trio paused a little way from the counter, scanning the menu above their heads.

Pansy stood smirking by his side.

“I—um.” Draco cleared his throat, turning to switch off the coffee grinder. He began to fiddle with the silver milk jugs and wipe down the steamer, studiously refusing to look towards the three that were now approaching the bench.

Pansy’s smirk grew wider.

“Good morning,” she began, “what can I get for you today?”

Hermione, who was the first to order, acknowledged the brunette’s smirk with one of her own, her eyes darting to the blond who was staring fixatedly at the coffee machine.

“That wouldn’t happen to be the hella fucking gay barista now, would it?” Hermione asked innocently.

“Oh, Draco?” Pansy’s tone was equally innocent. “Why yes, yes he is.”

Draco oh so wanted to throw a murderous glare in his direction. The vicious fire in his chest was immediately stifled however, when he caught brief eye contact with the brunet standing right behind the bushy-haired female. The male was gazing at him, a hint of shyness softening his masculine features. Swallowing, Draco darted his eyes away as casually as he could make them, his cheeks beginning to burn as he reached out instinctively for one of his cleaning cloths.

Good god, he felt like a young school girl.

He barely listened as the trio rattled off their coffee order, one of them ordering a blueberry muffin to which Draco caught a “You just ate breakfast, Ronald!”.

“But, ‘Mione, I’m a growing boy.”

“You’ll grow outwards is what you’ll do.”

“Anything sweet for you, handsome?” Pansy asked.

Draco snuck another glance towards the counter, unable to stop himself from biting his lip as the brunet flushed slightly at Pansy.

“Me? Oh, no, just coffee—thank you.”

“Don’t worry, handsome, Draco here makes a beautiful cappuccino, you won’t feel as if you’re missing out.”

Dazzling green eyes met with grey once more and Draco was surprised to note the way the brunet’s cheeks reddening further, a tentative smile on his face.

“Sounds good.”

“Why don’t you two go find a table?” Hermione suggested, reaching into her bag for her purse.

The red-head pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before grabbing Harry’s arm—who was still gazing at Draco—and muttered “Come on, you ponce.”

The blond followed their movements to a table directly within his sights, his heart thumping uncharacteristically quickly in his chest.

Damn… if I had known Pansy’s sign was going to draw in guys like him I would have told her to put it up months ago…

“Did you hear that, Draco? Isn’t it wonderful my sign has been so successful?”

The blond’s head snapped around. “What?” he asked dumbly.

His best friend’s smile was oozing with impertinence, eyes bright with glee.

“This lovely customer was just informing me that her friend with the dark hair is single. How’s that for coincidence?”

I’ll give you coincidence—

“Oh,” was all he said. Instead, he grabbed the order from the bench, eyeing the three coffees quickly. One skim latte. One hot chocolate. And one cappuccino.

With one last furtive glance at the gorgeous dark-haired male, Draco distracted himself with brewing coffee and steaming milk, carefully preparing each drink to his always demanding perfection. He reached up for three mugs, poured each drink expertly, before plating them on the side bench ready to be taken to the table.

A sudden flutter of nerves hit Draco as he eyed the mug of cappuccino. He bit his lip again, eyes flitting across the room and back before he reached for a napkin.

It wouldn’t hurt to write his number down, would it? It wasn’t as if the guy would feel obligated to ask Draco out now, would he? And it would be better for Draco to give his number rather than expect the poor bloke to fork out his own; at least it would save Draco from the embarrassment of being denied to his face.

Thinking quickly—or rather, not thinking at all—Draco grabbed the marker he used to write on takeaway cups and scribbled out a list of numbers, heart hammering in his throat as he shoved the napkin beneath the mug. He backed away from the drinks before he lost his nerve, returning to the coffee machine to clean up.

“Draco,” Pansy hissed suddenly.

“What?” the blond snapped.

“Take their coffees to the table, you daft moron!”

“What? Why me? That’s your job!”

“Gives you a chance to go talk to him!” Pansy rolled her eyes in exasperation, as if a child could have understood more. “Do you want to be single forever?

“And if I do?” Draco grumbled, marching back to the side bench despite himself. He slid two of the mugs into one hand skilfully and grabbed the third in the other. He straightened his back purposefully and crossed the dark wooden floor, coming to a halt beside the trio’s chosen table.

“The hot chocolate?”

“That’s me,” the red-head grinned, rubbing his hands together in an excited fashion.

Draco lowered the mug carefully. “The skim latte?”

“Mine!” Hermione called cheerfully, smiling kindly at Draco as he handed her the coffee.

He turned, eyes finally landing on the male gazing up at him, a gentle smile on his face.

“Which leaves the cappuccino for you,” the blond murmured, fighting hard to keep his hand from trembled as his extended his arm. The brunet reached up to grab the mug, his fingers brushing along the back of Draco’s hand as he did so, causing a lovely tingle shoot up the blond’s arm.

Draco almost dropped the coffee into the guy’s lap.

“Er—e-enjoy,” he stammered slightly.

“Thank you,” the dark-haired male said, voice warm and deep and oh so enticing.

Draco fought hard to conceal a shiver as he returned to the bench. Good god, his cheeks felt as if they were on fire—he could only imagine how they appeared.


“Well? Did you get his number?” Pansy demanded as soon as the trio had left the café. “I saw the look he gave you on his way out—he totally did, didn’t he?”

“Actually,” Draco replied, folding his arms as he leant against the bench, “I gave him mine.”

Pansy practically squealed and even the blond couldn’t contain his smile.

“I told you my sign would work.”

“Well, it hasn’t technically worked as of yet. It will only be a success if we go out on a date or whatever. In the meantime…” He shot Pansy a glare. “Take the bloody thing down.”

“Alright, alright,” the brunette grumbled, tossing her pen onto the counter and marching to the window.

Shaking his head, Draco reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone. He didn’t expect the guy to make a move immediately of course, but the blond couldn’t help but gaze down at the dark screen hopefully.

Switching on his phone, Draco stared down at the now brightly lit screen, mouth going dry.

1 new message.

With shaking fingers, Draco swiped and opened up his inbox.

Lunch sometime?

P.S. your cappuccino was to die for. I’ll definitely have to come back.

Draco felt giddy as a smile stretched across his face.

Lunch sounds great.

racetotheedgelove  asked:

Can you do prompt 3: "I'm not jealous"

Jealous

Hiccup clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes, trying so hard not to explode, to contain his emotions and-

Aedan moved even closer to Astrid, going so far as to wrap an arm about her stiff shoulders. She was gnawing on her lip, obviously looking uncomfortable but knowing she couldn’t say anything- this was Chief Murtagh’s son after all. The Chief’s son… and doing anything against him would disrupt the peace. She couldn’t punch him, show any signs of physical violence… if she did, the peace treaty could be destroyed. Especially since she was just a shield maiden, if she had been a general or anyone else in higher rank it would be a totally different story.

“So, babe, how about… a midnight walk, huh? On the beach? Sound romantic?” Aedan asked with a smug smirk down at the girl captured in his rough embrace.

Hiccup wanted to puke, then he wanted to punch Aedan’s smug face. Then he wanted to grab Astrid and tote her away from the Great Hall, do anything to get away from that miserable excuse of a Viking. Hiccup looked over towards his Dad, Stoick also looking slightly concerned as he eyed Astrid and Aedan worriedly. When Hiccup caught his eye, he smiled reassuringly and nodded his head.               

Hiccup looked back over at Aedan, seeing red when he noticed how comfortable that lunk looked sitting next to Astrid. Hiccup’s girlfriend. NOBODY ELSES.

And with no thought on what he was doing, Hiccup shoved away from the table and made his way over to the “gang’s” table where Astrid-and now Aedan-were sitting. If his Dad hadn’t forced him to sit with the other Chief’s, Hiccup would’ve been sitting beside Astrid, and none of this would’ve happened…

The gang’s eyes widened when he stopped before Aedan, and Hiccup thought he saw Snotlout lift a hand to his face. The twins began whispering in a chant “Thor’s Mighty Hammer! Thor’s Mighty Hammer!”

Hiccup’s hands fisted, and he took in a shaky deep breath before saying as calmly as possible, “Aedan. Move.”

“…And why would I do that?” Aedan asked leisurely. “Don’t think I’m gonna move for a skinny toothpick like you, do you?”

“Thor’s Mighty Hammer!” the twins chanted a bit louder, while Fishlegs smiled widely. Astrid just stared at Hiccup, calmly letting him take care of this situation.

“Move, Aedan.”

“I’d listen, man!” Snotlout snorted, his hand still rubbing his jaw tenderly.

Aedan rolled his eyes, “…Yeah…Sorry, but no.”

Hiccup tried to hold himself back, but when Aedan tightened the arm around Astrid even more- causing her to squirm- he snapped. He grabbed Aedan’s shirt front and punched him, straight in the face, before giving him a hard shove and a harsh kick of his prosthetic, sending Aedan tumbling to the ground.

Silence fell in the hall, broken only by Hiccup’s heavy breathing and Aedan’s whimpered moans. The guy was clearly not seriously injured-besides a possibly broken nose and a few missing teeth. It looked to be mainly his pride was the only thing seriously harmed.

“I said move.” Hiccup hissed, and Aedan didn’t hesitate to scuttle off towards the Hall’s exit, holding a hand over his bleeding nose as he went.

The twins broke into applause, while everyone else let out whoops and Astrid just smiled broadly, waving a hand and motioning for him to sit beside her.

“Jealous, much?” She asked with a laugh.

“I’m not jealous.” He muttered, but smiled at her before quickly kissing her, Astrid’s arms going to wrap about his neck while his wrapped around her waist.

“Odin, I’m sorry, Stoick!” came Murtagh’s voice. “I’ll have a talk with my son, and I apologize on his behalf. But my congratulations! You’re son looks to have improved in his skills, and it looks you’ll be planning a weddin’ soon, aye?”

Hiccup blushed, but didn’t hesitate to pull Astrid a bit closer. He didn’t want to ever let go of her again.

Requests Closed

MissMatched.com, Ch.5 (5/9)

In a world where every dating site swears by their algorithms and databases to find the most accurate match with a high percentage of compatibility, a new site is giving them all a run for their money.

Missmatched.com promises no data or algorithm, just a few people that *know* how to find your best match based on their instincts and their vibes.

Emma Swan is hired to investigate if there’s a fraud involved with the site’s claim of not using any type of statistics. That path leads her right into the hands of Missmatched.com founder, Killian Jones, who promises her that he’ll prove he’s worth his salt by finding Emma her perfect match without any data or algorithms involved.

A new story by me, dedicated from the bottom of my heart to the wonderful @businesscasualprincess All the thanks in the world to my beta @sambethe

Ao3 FF.net
Tumblr: 1 2 3 4

Mary Margaret & David

Emma was losing her mind. It might have been the lack of sleep from reading file after file, or the endless hours searching through transcripts from interviews with MissMatched’s competitors. It could also be the way she had kept one ear on the ground, hoping for any piece of gossip she could turn into information, any lead she could find that would untangle the scam of all time.

But. There. Wasn’t. Anything.

She took a deep breath as she reviewed the cases in front of her. It was time to go back to the source. To the one case that, according to Liam Jones, started it all.

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That Moment #3

Title: That Moment 
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Word count: 703 
Warnings: Angst, language
Read Part 1 by @winchesterswoonathon
Read Part 2 by @mrs-squirrel-chester and @winchesterswoonathon
A/N: Written for @spnbuddywriters SPN Team Building Challenge. Bold are lyrics from the song that was assigned. [x]

Originally posted by sam-and-dean-winchesters


Dean snorted, it sounded like a joke. “The Book of the Damned? And you’re hopeful about this?”

She sure looked hopeful, excited even. He’d always loved that in her, but now it crushed him. He couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t watch as she grasped at straws, tried to help him and eventually was overcome with the painful realisation that this was him now. That there was no going back. Even if the mark disappeared, Dean doubted he’d ever be the same. Fuck. He needed a drink.

“I am, Dean,” she started, pushing a strand of hair which had gotten loose as she hurried after him behind her ear. “As I said, I think this might be it.”

“Spit it out. Why do think this will work?” He had to ditch her, fast. Before she did something cute again.

“Well, that’s the problem,” her eyes dropped to the gravel, “I don’t exactly know how to read it… yet.”

Dean turned to leave again. This was fucking perfect. Part of him felt mad at her, coming all the way to find him and then this. Another dead end. Frustration jolted through him, chasing away the nice buzz he had acquired. The very last thing on a long list of things he didn’t want, was to be sober. And there he was, closer to sober than drunk.

“Come and find me when you can read it, Y/N. Until then, goodbye.” With hands shoved deep into his pockets, his jaw clenched shut, Dean strode away, doing his best not to turn back and look at her one last time.

Why was he like this? Why did he always push away the ones that he loved the most? The ones who were willing to risk their lives to save him, to stand by his side no matter what, to love him. Deep down, he knew he wasn’t worth it. He was the one that started the goddamn apocalypse, after all. Because of him, so many people had died. Sam and Y/N would argue, that they had saved more lives than had been lost, but who fucking knew?

You helped me, you know,” she breathed, barely audible over the brisk wind. But Dean heard her, heard the emotion in her voice, how the words rolled shakily off her tongue as if she was barely holding it together.

Dean scoffed, kicking at a rock he was just about to step on. “How the fuck did I do that, sweetheart?”

You found me, running at the speed of light, trying to outrun a past that I just couldn’t escape. When all I wanted to do was protect myself and hide away-”

Dean whirled around and was shaking his head. “No. Don’t do that,” he demanded. “Don’t make me sound like some fucking prince charming. That’s something I ain’t.”

She walked to him, slowly, as if he were a scared animal and would bolt if she moved too fast. “Even at my darkest, you still wanted me, Dean. Why wouldn’t… won’t you let me return the favor?”

He couldn’t stop it, the tears that pricked the back of his eyes or the sudden emotion that felt like it was trying to choke him. Dean swiped a hand over his face, angrily muttering, “There’s nothing I could tell you that you don’t know yourself, Y/N.”

But she didn’t give up. She stood in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist, holding him close enough that she could feel his heart hammering in his chest. He tried to push her away, but it was no use; she was stronger than she looked.

You are the everything I need, Dean,” she murmured against his neck. “Please let me back in.”

Fuck, he was tired. So tired of fighting and being so goddamn strong, like he was made of stone, the unbreakable Winchester that didn’t need anyone. When in truth, the reality was that he wanted her… needed her. Because all of this time without her, he was lost, like a goddamn puppy that just needed a home.

Dean gripped her tight enough to drive the air from her lungs before melting into her. “I need you,” he breathed.

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anonymous asked:

Maybe "will you help me" and romione? ❤

Thanks so much for the prompt lovely anon! I hope you like this, I went angsty again, hope that’s cool 💕

***

Will You Help Me?

Ron knew he shouldn’t be scared of Hermione, but then again, he did still have scars on his hands from the very real canaries she had set on him back in November. Perhaps it was simply logic and a touch of self-preservation that had him lurking in the stacks, peering around the shelves to witness her studying alone at a table. He was dying to approach her - he really didn’t want to turn seventeen tomorrow with his best friend still hating him - but he knew her eyes could shoot daggers and she was frighteningly adept at wounding with her words, so he hung back.

Some Gryffindor, he berated himself. He should have been perfectly capable of walking up and saying, ‘Hermione, I’ve been a jerk and I want to be friends again’ but somehow the words seemed constantly caught in his throat. Not to mention he couldn’t get himself to chuck Lavender, something he’d been intending to do for - well, it had to have been weeks now - and that should have been easy enough considering they both knew they had almost nothing in common. And yet… he was frozen, paralyzed by his own anxiety.

Maybe he could just pretend like everything was normal again. What if he just walked up and starting chattering on about Quidditch and the horribleness of Professor Snape and acted like the past few months had been nothing more than a bad dream?

She’d hex you, he quickly realized with dismay. It was time for Plan B: appealing to her studious side. She could never resist assisting someone in need of a bit of tutelage and anyway, he’d always liked her supervision of his schoolwork. She used to lean over his shoulder, so close that he could smell her shampoo, and sometimes he’d purposely put a stupid answer down just to see her get all exasperated - okay, that’s it, he determined, watching her tuck a stray curl behind an ear. He had officially had it with the stalemate between them. It was time to act.

His footsteps thudded across the library floor as he approached her table, watching her quill scratch feverishly across the parchment. If she noticed him, she didn’t let on.

“Er, Hermione?” he began, trying to squash down the quavering in his voice. She looked up, stoic, and said nothing. “Hi.” Smooth, Weasley. Very smooth. “Er, so we’ve got that Potions essay due on Monday, y'know, the one on blended antidotes and erm, I’m sort of having trouble with it, so, erm, I mean, I was hoping - will you help me?”

Her eyes locked on his, and for one wild moment he hoped against hope that she just might, despite his apparent inability to string together a coherent sentence, invite him to join her. That they might sit in the library together and she would laugh at his jokes again and the the near-constant tightness in his chest might begin to unclench. Instead she just gazed at him, expressionless, while his heart hammered resolutely in his ears.

“Why would I help you?” she asked, her voice low and flat and like a punch to Ron’s stomach. Because I miss you? he thought desperately. Because you’re my best friend and life is boring without you and I went a bit mental last term but now I’ve seen the light? Because I don’t give a damn about Potions, I just want to talk to you again?

“Oh, r-right,” he stuttered, his eyes cast down to the desk where her own essay lay. “I, I, yeah, I’ll just - I’ll go. I’m sorry.” He met her gaze again. “I’m sorry, Hermione.”

He would have to turn seventeen without her after all.

***

you can find more four word prompts here!

Getting Out The Campzone: The Bachelorette Season Premiere Recap

Sweet. Sour. Sassy. Classy. 

That’s our girl, Rachel.

Rachel is more beautiful than Cinderella. She smells like pine needles and has a face like sunshine.

The journey for Rachel to find a mate is officially underway and even though these men were hand-picked for her, she will still need to weed through the losers to find the love of her life.

And there are losers galore: a ticklemonster, a Whaboom! guy, an aspiring drummer and a dude named Jamey who hates women.

Some of these aforementioned were among the lucky few to get their own video packages.

-Kenny is a father to his beautiful 10-year-old daughter by day, and a professional wrestler called the “prettyboy pitbull” by night. So essentially, he barks, he bites and he’s good at cuddling.

-Jack Stone is a lawyer from Texas who has the potential to be the world’s most boring speaker right behind Ben Stein. His mother passed away from cancer when he was in high school, so he has a tragic story. The best part about him is that he has a labradoodle.

-Alex is a self-described beefy nerd. He says he likes to hit the weights at the gym but also code on the computer. He grilled some kebobs with his Russian mother, who said in Russian that he is only allowed to kiss Rachel on the cheek.

-Mohit is a startup guy, so I am assuming he must be really good at ping pong. He likes to bollywood dance with his family, and they all seemed like a fun family to be around.

-Lucas, aka Whaboom! I respect his dedication to the brand, but he’s going to have an aneurysm shaking his head that aggressively one day, and I don’t want to witness it on my television screen.

-Blake says he’s a personal trainer but his bio says drummer boy, so I already can’t trust him. Blake claims that since working out increases his testosterone, he is great at sex. I’m sorry but I don’t care about his (probably small) penis.

-Diggy is a nickname this man (I don’t know his real name) received after someone complimented his style. “Hey, I like your digs,” they said. Some may say having 500 pairs of shoes is materialistic, but Carrie Bradshaw would say it’s a lifestyle.

-Josiah probably had the most heartbreaking story. At age seven he cut his dead brother down from the rope he used to hang himself. As a troubled youth, he decided to get into crime and was arrested at age 12 for burglary. He was inspired by the people who helped him turn his life around, so he became just like them. Now he is a prosecuting attorney at the same center that helped him. How can that story not warm up your heart?

The Squad Gets Back Together

Usually the show brings in former Bachelorettes to give advice to the new one. Instead, they brought in some of Rachel’s friends from The Bachelor like Whitney, who tried to convince us that she actually knows how to speak. I for one am not buyin’ it.

The robot pretending to be Whitney said she heard the second guy Rachel met on After The Final Rose has bad intentions. It was either Blake or Greg. I am unsure.

This is Raven adorably getting emotional when discussing Rachel’s journey to find love.

Imagine Rachel did get to meet the former Bachelorettes, though? Her, Andi and Kaitlyn could all go into a corner and talk shit about Nick Viall. I would love to be a fly on that wall.

Limo Entrances

I am going to discuss ones that deserve discussing. Obviously the first person out the limo is typically a big interest of the lead and that person usually (not always) plays a big part in the season. Let’s meet first-out-the-limo guy and everyone else worth talking about:

  • Peter, aka “Daddy,” was first out the limo. I normally wouldn’t like a guy wearing an outfit that belongs on a waiter in Las Vegas, but Peter can wear anything. I just want to thank him for existing.

He looks like a movie star from the 1940s. Is this love at first sight?

  • Bryan went up to Rachel and started speaking Spanish. Apparently he’s a Columbian guy who called himself “trouble.” I’m into it, and apparently so is Rachel.
  • Will came out the limo as Steve Urkel, slipped on the ground and said “Oh, did I do that?” He ran back into the limo and came back out as Stefan Urquelle. It was probably the most creative limo entrance ever. Rachel got the reference right away because she’s Rachel. Will is probably already in love.
  • Fred had the most hilarious entrance I’ve ever seen. Rachel was his camp counselor 15 years ago, so he brought out a yearbook and showed old pictures of him and Rachel. Rachel said Fred was a bad kid growing up. Most people get friendzoned at some point in their lives. Some even get sexzoned. Fred, however, got campzoned. What will it take to get Fred out of the camp zone? Stay tuned…
  • Jonathan, in typical ticklemonster fashion, tickled Rachel. Apparently he is a doctor in real life. I feel like tickling someone is some sort of violation. Like I said earlier, we will see this guy on the sex offender registry in due time.
  • Alex came in with a vacuum and I literally JUST understood his reference as I am typing it out. His entrance was an homage to Rachel dancing while vacuuming in her video package on The Bachelor. Well played, sir, well played.
  • Matt wore a penguin outfit and was quite adorable. He explained that penguins mate for life, which is what he says he wants to do. He said he’s gonna “waddle right into her heart.”
  • Mohit used the most basic best man wedding speech in existence as his opening line. If you didn’t work at a wedding hall for three years and haven’t heard this at basically every wedding ever, let me explain. Almost every best man at a wedding has the groom put his hand over his wife’s hand. He then says “This is the last time you will ever have the upper hand in the relationship. Enjoy it.” Negative 10 points for originality.
  • Lucas, the Whaboom! guy, was all sorts of extra. First he rolled down the window with a megaphone and did his best Bruce Buffer impression. I didn’t want to know that Lucas has one testicle bigger than the other, but now I do. What will I do with this source of information? Suppress it, probably. Lucas then shows us what Whaboom! really means, and it’s not pretty. Let’s just say there’s a reason why Lucas looks like he is recovering from a stoke. Whabooming! is a violent activity.

Originally posted by lanadelgarbage

My reaction after witnessing what a Whaboom! is.

The Goings On In The Mansion

Some worthwhile observations…

Blake is clearly this season’s villain and Whaboom! guy is the token weirdo for the first few episodes. Blake’s presence already annoys me. He’s no Chad. Chad was at least funny.

Mohit took one for the team and was the one who got completely hammered on night one. He was so drunk that he grabbed someone else’s drink out of their hand and started drinking it.

Josiah, Alex and DeMario have already developed a friendship. I hereby name them the “Goon Squad” for being a bunch of clowns. DeMario keept calling Rachel his future wife and Josiah was announcing that he probably will get the first impression rose. I believe at one point Josiah asked, “Who has had time with my wife?” Alex is just guilty by association.

Fred by far had the best interaction with Rachel: 

  • Rachel: “Frederick. I can’t”
  • Fred: “Yeah, you can.”

Rachel says she knew Fred as a third grader and can’t get past that memory. If the guy is hot enough, I think she could do it. If she can’t get past it, that probably means she’s not interested and Fred will remain forever in the Campzone.

Bryan pulled Rachel to the side to have a private talk. Right out the bat, Bryan tells her he is 37 years old, wants something serious and doesn’t want to waste her time. Oh, he also says “I’m good with my hands.” Ya know, because he’s a chiropractor. 

Just showing some appreciation for Bryan’s face.

The two were flirting back and forth. It felt really genuine like they met at a bar or something. Bryan just went for it and grabbed her face to give her an aggressive face readjustment. A+ for grabbing her face like that. You go, Glen Coco.

Peter said in an ITM that he likes Rachel because they both have a gap in their teeth and honestly that is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. He brought chocolate from Wisconsin for her and she confessed that she didn’t like chocolate but said she would eat it anyway. Why? Because Peter is fine as hell so you gotta do what you gotta do.

I also observed that Kenny is hilarious. For example, this line: “If she chooses Whaboom! guy, we need to re-examine what we think is fly.”

When the time comes for Rachel to give out her first impression rose, she doesn’t give it to the over-confident Josiah, she gives it to Bryan. They kiss again with a hammered Mohit accidentally witnessing the entire thing. 

  • Here’s a shot of them kissing that didn’t look like Bryan’s tongue was searching for the Chamber of Secrets down Rachel’s throat.

Good thing Mohit was blackout drunk so he was likely physically incapable of snitching. Too bad Bryan later snitches on himself on the Ellen date. 

Rose Ceremony

The first rose is always super important. That person usually plays a big part in the season.

Peter got the first rose. This, on top of him being first out of the limo, is pretty big. Producers are pushing Peter on us hard. 

Will aka Stefan got the second rose. Soft-spoken Jack Stone got the third. I think Anthony, the deep-thinking bald guy, got the fourth rose.

Producers picked Whaboom! guy to stay to 1. entertain us and 2. piss off Blake. I’m just scared Lucas is going to hurt his neck Whabooming! At least Bryan will be there to work his chiropractor magic if need be. Imagine getting adjusted by Bryan? There is no way I’d be able to relax. 

By the time several of the guys get eliminated, it’s daylight outside. It looks like it’s around noon. 

Blake K. the hot asian went home. Apparently he asked to leave early because his grandfather is sick. Dammit, ABC, put him on Paradise. He might be too good for the show, but I still need to see more of him.

Grant, the ugly Dan Humphrey also went home.

Follow me on twitter, @thebachdiaries 

Another eliminated guy cried about how he spent so much money on outfits and now no one will be able to see them. It was kind of funny but, I hate that I was able to relate to this so much.

So there you have it folks. The real fun starts on Monday once the group dates are underway. I also promise the upcoming recaps won’t be the length of a short novel. I need to get back into my blogging groove.

Prediction Corner: Top 5

  • Peter
  • Bryan
  • Kenny
  • Will
  • Jack Stone

Who do you think will get the 1-on-1 next week? 

rekindling love

bellamy blake x reader

word count: 625


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I Thought You Were Different (Part 26/?) (Thor/Rogers x reader)

Part 25

“Oh, Thor, I’m so sorry!  Are you okay?”

“It is of no consequence, (Y/N),” he groaned, doubled over with an arm wrapped around his own stomach, his breaths long and rhythmic as he tried to work through the jolt of pain you had caused.  He tried to look up at you, but with each movement that stretched his muscles, a new wave of radiating agony coursed through him.

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Right vs Wrong

The Arrow 100th and it’s impact on Olicity

Okay guys. Before we go into tonight’s episode, I want to talk something out. I did a little bit of talking about this on Twitter, but I want to get more in depth with it here. I know a lot of you are probably nervous about the Lau/river scenes in tonight’s episode, especially if you’ve noticed they’ve cribbed some Olicity dialogue.

(forgive me for this gif)

I know everyone’s first reaction is to hurl in their mouth a little (it’s okay, I totally did too). But my next reaction was to HOWL with laugher. Because this was totally stolen from Olicity. 

If for no other reason, this should not bother us because the writers can’t even be arsed to come up with original dialogue for these two. But I do believe this parallel is on purpose. And I will tell you why if you follow me just a little bit further. 

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SnK 66 Thoughts

Tonight I’m gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world it’s turning inside out

Things I should probably talk about this chapter:

  • Eren
  • Rod
  • Plot stuff

Things I will choose to resent for interfering with my pure flailing over having the best favorite character ever:

  • Eren
  • Rod
  • Plot stuff

Don’t stop me now
I’m having such a good time
I’m having a ball

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