why would i give you good advice

Happy Birthday Hailey

It’s the wonderful @victuurificrec aka Hailey’s birthday today! She does an incredible amount for the fandom and if you don’t know her blog, I suggest you definitely check it out asap. She puts a huge amount of effort into everything that she does and she’s been an incredible supporter of my fic for a long time. So to say thank you and Happy Birthday to Hailey, here’s a little birthday themed Viktuuri ficlet to show my appreciation. 

Happy Birthday! xx



“So, you’re telling me that all this panic is just because you can’t decide what to get Viktor for his birthday?” Phichit asked disbelievingly.

Yuuri groaned, resting his head in his free hand as he clutched his phone with the other. It was stupid, he knew. Calling Phichit in a panic after almost a full week of constant worrying and doubt over something that Viktor probably wouldn’t even care much about but he couldn’t help himself.

“I’ve been living with him for a year Phichit. We’ve been together for even longer. Last year he told me he didn’t really celebrate much but this year it’s different. We’ve been together too long for me to not give him something, I just don’t know what.”

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bluecrysto-blog  asked:

You have such a wonderful touch with color! Where do you get your inspiration for these super fun palettes? Any tips on How to Color Good©?

AHH thank you!!   I’m really bad about using smart correct ART terms for what I do lol so idk how useful any advice I give would be but

Main source of inspiration is just.. I really love colors lol.  Colors make me SO HAPPY and I guess using more = more happy lmao, that’s why most of my stuff is so saturated.

As far as character palettes go, what I do is figure out 3-4 dominant colors that fit the character and then make every other color compliment those colors.  For in-game characters I’ll eyeball the palette straight off the models and then alter each color so they work together a little better.  

In Photoshop I put every color on it’s own separate layer and then mess with the sliders in Image>Adjustments>Hue/Saturation on each individual color until I like it.  I might find one color I really like and alter the colors around it to compliment it. 

90% of what I do is push those sliders around until I like what I see. \o/  If you do this enough you’ll start to passively learn what colors feel best together and against each other.  I’ve been doing it for yeeears. 

Sometimes even if I like a color it’s good to slide it around anyway to see if I can make a stronger or more interesting palette.

Most of my stuff is very saturated and rainbowy because I LIKE EVERY COLOR and every color can work together if you mess around with it enough lol

(WIPs lol)

Design is important but the colors you use should be part of the story too.  Color should always make you feel something because color speaks!  Sometimes it’s very soft and sometimes it’s very loud, but it’s like the music that goes along with the narration.  It sets the atmosphere of a piece. 

I LOVE using limited palettes too, though.  Limiting my colors to just 3-4 forces me to tell the story more clearly because I can’t rely on colors to make certain things obvious.  Makes me think a lil different because layers and opacity can turn few colors into many.  

I usually only use limited palettes for comic/storytelling stuff, otherwise I make everything rainbow lol COLOR MAKES ME SO HAPPY and I wanna share that happiness!

Virginity

Requested - Hi! Could you write something with Aaliyah and Y/N. Like they get along pretty well and like Aaliyah asks Y/N about losing Virginity (Y/N lost it very soon) or something like that. Thanks!

Requested - Heyy, I have an imagine request 💕 so, you’re visiting Shawn in Canada and he’s busy, so you end up spending time with Aaliyah (like take her shopping or out for milkshakes or something) and Shawn finds out and he thinks it’s really sweet and fluff fluff fluff

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Shawn says for what seems like the hundredth time as he glances over at you briefly before refocusing his eyes on the road in front of him.

“Don’t be.” You respond with a cheeky smile. “I get to drive your jeep and hang out with your sister, so it’s a win-win for me.”

“Have I told you lately that you’re the best?” He asks.

“Maybe once or twice,” you tease, a smile on your face as you genuinely appreciate this time you’re getting to spend with your boyfriend, even if it isn’t a lot. You came to Canada to visit him, but he ended up having to rehearse at the last minute, which kind of ruined your original plans for the afternoon.

The drive to his rehearsal space goes by far too quickly, and before you know it you’re driving his jeep out of the parking lot on your way to pick up Aaliyah from school. Since Shawn ended up being busy, you offered to pick up his sister from school and take her to the mall. You’ve grown really close to Aaliyah over the past year that you’ve been dating Shawn, and since you don’t have a younger sister, you take full advantage of getting to spend time with Aaliyah and play an older sister role in her life.

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Hello, writerly friends!

Over the years I’ve made a lot of writing advice videos, and with Camp NaNoWriMo almost here, I thought I would compile a “starter kit” with some of my best advice for anyone looking to do a month-long challenge like this one. You can find the full playlist HERE, or click on the individual links below~

Please consider giving this a reblog so other writers can find it! Good luck, and happy camping~ ⭐️✨

Cosa Nostra (Pt. 2)

Summary: You were just a girl who took some odd jobs from the Min Syndicate to make some extra cash. When Min Yoongi himself sends a request for you to come to his mansion, any semblance of your normal life gets thrown out the window. What sort of dangers will face you once you become associated with one of the biggest mob bosses?

Mafia!YoongixReader

Angst/Smut/Fluff

Word Count: 4k

Part [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Originally posted by minyoongiaesthetic


Preparing for the meeting with Min Yoongi was a thousand times more stressful that you could have possibly predicted. At first you had worried about how you were to pay for an extravagant get up for this so called “meeting”, given that you were knee deep in debt. Luckily for you, a random lump sum of cash had mysteriously made its way under the door of your apartment. You didn’t know what was more worrying: the fact that the Min Syndicate knew exactly where you lived, or the fact that they just so casually handed you over five thousand dollars in cash. You didn’t even want to think about how they got that kind of money.

Even with your newfound temporary wealth, you didn’t know the first thing about how to dress appropriately for a meeting with the mafia. Despite your uncertainty in shopping for a formal dress, you managed to pick out an ankle length semi-form fitting black dress. The back of the dress was almost completely cut out, the fabric ending just below the small of your back, and with a slit down the side of the dress to show even more skin. It was a little risqué for your taste, but you figured that this was the sort of thing that mafia people wore to things like this. At this point you were clueless, so you might as well look like a fucking goddess.

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Dating Tony Padilla would include...

Originally posted by female-winston

  • helping him work on his car
  • “You know y/n, you’re the one thing I love more than my car.”
  • “I’m honored Padilla.”  
  • cooking dinner together when you have the house to yourselves
  • he has tons of pet names for you including babe, mi amor, and hun
  • him and his brothers “taking care of” any one who hurts you in anyway
  • car sex
  • random drives in his mustang
  • making mixtapes for each other
  • he’s not big on pda, but he still holds your hand in the hallways
  • when you’re alone he’s all over you
  • hickies on your collarbone
  • he loves taking pictures of you in or next to his car
  • “My two babies.”
  • very thoughtful and out of the box dates
  • sex with Tony is always insanely passionate
  • climbing up the same mountain he took Clay
  • “Can’t keep up Padilla?”
  • “Maybe I’m just enjoying the view.”
  • double dates with Clay and Hannah
  • he’s always looking out for you (making sure you eat your food lmaooo)
  • giving each other massages after stressful days
  • stealing and wearing his leather jacket
  • kissing his tattoos
  • laughing at how long it takes him to get ready in the mornings
  • “Jesus you take longer than I do!”
  • “Hey! It takes time to look this good!”
  • messing up his hair later that night (;
  • he’s an amazing listener and always manges to give the perfect advice
  • “Clay was wrong you know. You’re totally a helpful Yoda.”
  • him casually slipping Spanish into his sentences (which you absolutely love because you get to hear snippets of his accent)
  • everyone at school shipping you together
False Protagonists

Anonymous said:

How do you create a convincing and effective false/decoy protagonist? I’ve hardly found any information on the subject beyond textbook definitions, and a few examples from various media. But I’m really looking for tips & tricks, do’s & don'ts, and I just can’t find that. Is it just a really underused character trope? Or am I falling into a “there ain’t no rules here” area of writing?


In the world of literary fiction, false protagonists are like dark magic. It’s something that exists but it rarely discussed. Most people stay well away from it, and those who use it are either reckless fools or highly-skilled and using it as a last resort. That’s probably why you’re not finding much in the way of advice.

Another reason information is lacking is because false protagonists are more common on screen than on the page. They do exist in literary fiction, they’re just more often the result of wild writing rather than well-crafted intention. Which is not to say they are never used with intention in literary fiction. There just aren’t a lot of reasons for intentionally using one.

So, what are some reasons for intentionally using a false protagonist?

1) To mislead your reader for the sake of drama.

It’s okay to misdirect your reader. In other words, to turn their attention from something you don’t want them to notice right away. This is a little like saying, “What’s that over there?” and stealing a fry off your friend’s plate when they look to see what you pointed at.

It isn’t okay to mislead your reader. “Misleading” is when you actually take them in the wrong direction for a period of time, then at some point you stop and say, “Haha! You were supposed to go north but you went south, and now you’ve gone seventy miles in the wrong direction!” Nobody wants to hear that. Ever. Least of all your reader.

False protagonists mislead your reader, and since readers have limited patience, do you really want to do this for the sake of drama? Surely there’s a better option for implementing drama in your story? On the other hand, if you have another–better-reason for misleading your reader, do it. Always do what’s best for your story.


2) To illustrate the true evil or danger of the antagonist/antagonistic force.

If you start out with Fred as the protagonist and then he’s the first to go down when the zombies attack, that will certainly illustrate just how bad the danger truly is. It sets up the “anyone can be killed” mentality. Your reader can never assume any character is safe due to their importance. This can be surprisingly effective, but some find it to be a bit lazy. You shouldn’t have to rely on parlor tricks to illustrate how dangerous your antagonist is. So, here again, you really want to make sure this is the best option for your story. If it is, do it, and make sure you illustrate the true danger in other ways, too.

3) As a foil to contrast with the real protagonist.

Some stories merit the use of a false protagonist as a foil. Let’s say your story is about a bunch of war refugees being led through dangerous territory by a valiant, smart, benevolent hero who ends up dying to save a crusty, apathetic misanthrope. If said misanthrope is then forced to step into the leadership role, that would certainly have a lot more weight than if the story started out with this character as the leader. 

And, if you can give an additional purpose to the false protagonist’s departure (as above), that will go a long way in soothing the transition for the reader.

So, I guess, my main advice to you is to just think about why you want to do this, see if you have a good reason for doing it, and then make sure you do it effectively. Introduce the true protagonist as early as possible so that you’re not asking your reader to start fresh well into the story. Make sure the switch is made in the first half of the story or earlier. After that is going to be too late. Also, just as a side note: your false protagonist doesn’t have to die. That’s just one way they might depart the story. Sometimes they simply leave, other times they just step back into a secondary role.

I hope that helps!

———————————————————————
Have a writing question? I’d love to hear from you! Please be sure to read my ask rules and master list first or your question will not be answered. :)

A guy just came into my work. He was with his gf and the first thing I noticed was, as usual, his awesome tattoos. He had POKEMONS ALL DOWN HIS ARM. So I’m making their food and I was asking about how he deals with people who judge him because of the tattoos’ theme. I still don’t know how to deal with people who ask me “Why would you get a tattoo of that?” He gives me good advice, like the whole ‘Stare an idiot down until they have to explain their shitty joke and sound like an asshole’, ignore them because they’re sad enough to say something about it. He said that he gets more positivity than negativity. I showed him my Batman and Joker wrists and he was fascinated, despite the clear Captain America shield on his hat. We joked that we were enemies and then he pulls up his shirt sleeve to reveal a MASSIVE Captain America shield tat. We laugh, I give them a discount, no one gives a fuck that one of us is DC and the other is Marvel, the end.

WYMM?

Title: WYMM? (Will You Marry Me?)

Pairing: Jughead Jones x Reader

Warnings: Marriage proposal, maybe some cursing.

Summary: Juggie pops the question to the reader to get her attention but as soon as he says those four words he begins to wonder if he actually means it.

A/N; Feedback is always greatly appreciated and I hope you all enjoy. This wasn’t proofread because I typed this up fast before my motivation was gone again.



You were stressing. In fact, you had been stressing since this morning when your best friend, Betty Cooper, had called you and asked you to write an article for the school newspaper on anything you wanted. You just needed it in by next week.
Usually, for most people, that would have been no problem. And that was plenty of time for normal writes such as herself and even Jughead, really. But not you.
You had asked your boyfriend, Juggie, to meet you at Pop’s to ‘talk’. But really you just hoped he would inspire the best out of you like he usually did when it came to writing.

“Hey, Hermione.” You spoke as soon as you walked into Pop’s, sliding into your usual booth.
“Hey, Y/N. Can I get you your usual?” She asked, already walking behind the counter.
“That would be great. Thanks.” You smiled slightly before looking down at your hands.

Juggie arrived minutes after you did. You looked up when your head the door open and close and saw him walking towards you. “Hey.” He spoke, taking a seat across from you. “So, what’s up?” He asked, quirking a brow.
Suddenly you were distracted by him. Not anything he did in particular- just him.
“Y/N?” You were interrupted from your thoughts by the sound of his voice.
“Oh, hey.”
Why were you so nervous? You took a deep breath before beginning to rant to Juggie.
You started with, “You know I absolutely love Betty. But I just…I thought I’d rather come to you for this.”
Then you started your ranting- about how you wished you weren’t such a stressful writer, and how you didn’t have the slightest about what you might write. You just wanted to impress Betty enough that she might let you write for the paper more than just once.
About five minutes into your rant, you were still on the subject of what your subject might be when Juggie seemed like he needed to say something. But you couldn’t find yourself to stop. You wished you weren’t so damn stressed.

“Will you marry me?” Jughead blurted out, not allowing you to finish your sentence you had currently been on.
You stopped. “What?”
Jughead paused, too. Suddenly seeming pretty stressed himself. “I got to go.” He quickly slid out of his booth and practically disappeared he ran out the door so fast.
You, still in slight shock, stayed where you were and watched as he ran and ran until you couldn’t see him anymore.
“Hey, Hermione? I’m going to need another milkshake.”

Hermione, who must’ve heard him pop the question, nodded understandingly and disappeared behind the counter.


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anonymous asked:

So...what happened when you let buyers pick their puppies?

Well, I have several stories because as a newer breeder I am learning too. My first litter I placed a sweet soft boy in a home I really shouldn’t have. She already had too many dogs. Because of all her dogs she did not continue socializing as he grew and he was bullied by her deerhounds. Because he was sensitive (like most borzoi are) he became reactive with other dogs. Large males in particular. His confidence was shot…it’s so important in our breed to have a confident dog. They don’t start fights and it’s so easy to live and take them anywhere. Fast forward to me asking to bring him back to the US to finish his AKC CH title. I was so saddened by how he was so fearful of everything. Still such a sweet dog but he was always watching is back as if someone was going to jump from the shadows. I asked to keep him and he’s still with me. He gotten so much better and now gets along with any males I bring onto the property. He lives with 4 intact males now. They don’t fight even when the girls come in season. So that is one example of poor placement.

Another was in my last litter, I placed a very little girl with a person who had gotten a borzoi from my first litter. He was the perfect dog and she had a lot to live up too. Several times I tired getting the owner to change her mind saying she was super high energy. The owner said she could handle it, she’s trained dogs before, nothing she hasn’t seen. Well this puppy girl said challenge accepted and became a nightmare for her new owner. I do give the owner props for trying but at 10 months she couldn’t take it anymore. She was returned to me and I hold nothing against her for returning the dog. It wasn’t sure good fit. Now the dog is in a home where she runs on 3 acres daily, gets to go run in the open field and chase jack rabbits, she just excels at anything athletic and her first home couldn’t provide the exercise to fit her energy level. Which was my fault.

Another puppy from my last litter went to a lady that wanted to get out of IWs but still wanted a bigger dog. She knew the lady I mentioned above. She loved the boy from my first litter and wanted one just like him. *laughs* cuz that’s not a tall order. Well she didn’t want the pups with the short tail which would have been the ideal fit for her. Though he had prey drive he was very bid able and laid back. Actually I gave her the choice of 2. The other had kinks in his tail.( @noodle-dragon ended up with this boy so it was a blessing in disguise.) She wanted a perfect tail *sigh* I argued with her about this for a while. I told her the other males were going to show homes, she kept saying she wanted one of 2 other boys I had not offered her. That was it. I told her the one must go to a show home, the other we were waiting on his testicle to drop and he just wasn’t the right fit. Because by 9 weeks his testicle never dropped I gave in and said fine…he’s yours. Big mistake as well. She never had anything good to say about him. He bites, he barks, he runs around her house like a crazy dog growling….HE’S A FREAKING PUPPY LADY!!!! Well she didn’t take any of my advice. We went back and forth for months, I tried so hard to help her but you can’t help someone who really don’t even want to listen. I kept pushing her to return the dog and I would give her a full refund, I guess I started pushing too hard. She refused and cut off contact with me. She still has the dog and my spies say he looks good but it breaks my heart she won’t send updates and pictures.

This is why a breeder should be completely honest and at time even put their foot down when it comes to placement. I want people to enjoy my dogs and the breed but coming to a person who breeds Borzoi (dogs bred for their athleticism and prey drive) and basically wanting a Labrador in a borzoi suit is just unrealistic. This is why I don’t let people choose. When I evaluate a litter I also evaluate temperament. If someone is looking for lower drive, if I have any, I will give them their choice. Might be 1 dog, might be 3….don’t know until the litter is about 8-9 weeks and I make no promises to puppy buyers until that time. All those that have puppies from me didn’t get to choose them. I placed the dogs in the homes so everyone benefitted.

Admitting it

One shot : You’re Harry’s best friend who happens to be hopelessly in love with him. He doesn’t know, though and is dating Kendall Jenner. Until he shows up at your door. 

I hope you guys will like this one shot! I feel a little bad because it’s again Kendall’s name I’m using, but it really is simply because of her’s and Harry’s past relationship.
As always, requests and feedback are welcome. 

Picture is not mine. It’s a gift from tumblr. 

A loud sigh escaped  my mouth and I hung my head low in exhaustion, my face hidden behind my sweaty palms. I felt as if all the responsibilities I had been trying to somehow balance on my shoulders over the past weeks came crumbling down like a wall of bricks, burying me. The familiar sound of my ringtone interrupted my thoughts and seeing the name flashing on the screen stopped any tears from spilling over.  My shaking fingers hastily slid over the phone screen and I eagerly pressed the device to my ear, desperate to hear the warmth of his voice.

“Harry! You have no idea how relieved I am that you’re calling.”

“M'glad to hear your voice, too, babe,” Harry answered, no hint of  a smile in his voice. He sounded oddly quiet and collected, not at all like the cheerful best friend he normally was.

“Are you alright?” I asked and pushed some of the books sprawled out in front of me away. There wasn’t much I would finish today anyway, especially not if Harry was unwell.

Ever since we had first bumped into each other it hadn’t taken more than one coffee to forge a strong bond between us. I always had his back and he had mine, protecting and supporting each other without questioning it. We often stayed at each other’s places for several days at once, trying to make the most of it given that the hectics of our daily lives didn’t allow us to spend too much time together. All of this remained merely platonic to him. I however, foolish as I was, had to fall so deeply in love with him I couldn’t even see the surface anymore.

“M'fine,” Harry hummed.

I didn’t quite buy his promise by the still rather void tone in his voice.

“You don’t sound like it, love,” I murmured, “what’s bugging you?”

I heard him take in a deep breath on the other side of the line, as if he needed to prepare for what he wanted to say next. When he spoke again his voice was much more tense.

“You know how Kendall and I have been going out and stuff, right?”  

I coughed as a lump crawled up my throat and swallowed hard before forcing out a small, “Yes.” My mind was already racing and torturing me with endless scenarios of what exactly he was implying by saying “stuff”.

When Harry had first brought Kendall around, I had already built a biased opinion on her. Her family’s public oriented life wasn’t something I could understand and never would it have come to my mind that Harry somehow could. Privacy was one of his top priorities. Meeting Kendall in person however had been different than expected and after two drinks with her I had to admit that she and Harry did fit together. She knew when to laugh, asked me questions about my much less eventful life than hers was and even hugged me when saying goodbye. And of course, she was of striking beauty. One look at her and it was clear how she was Harry’s match in every sense of the word.
After leaving them to climb into their taxi together and to head to his place I was overcome by sadness. Never had I confessed my feelings for Harry to him and now came the regret. I had noticed him observe me throughout the night, proving further how important it was to him that his friends liked her. A clear sign that their relationship was to be taken serious.

“I hope everything’s fine between the two of you,” I mumbled, hoping he’d believe the small lie.

“Not quite,” Harry replied, “we aren’t working out like I thought we would. And I feel so confused.” he broke off and I just knew he was shaking his head in lack of understanding.

“Is it because you’re apart too much?”

“No, I don’t think so,” he answered quickly, “Our houses aren’t too far apart from each other’s and now that I’m on my break I often fly out to see her. I’d say we spend 4 out of 7 days per week with each other.”

I tried to ignore the sting in my chest upon that information.

“If time isn’t the problem, then what is?” I asked.

So far in the year of us being close we’d only had two arguments and in both situations it was about me being upset because he wasn’t around.
Harry didn’t answer my question but paused to think of his next words, picking them carefully like he always did.

“She’s just not been acting the way the way she did when I met her. Not a day goes by where she doesn’t question me about my whereabouts or who it is that I am texting or calling. Kendall complains about everything I do and claims I’m distracted. Sometimes she even says she thinks it’s because of you. That you and I are dating. Can you believe that?”

“Crazy,” I laughed dryly. “What does she say when you ask her about her doubts?”

“Either that it’s nothing, she doesn’t want to talk about it or she refuses to answer me altogether. Shit like ‘you know exactly what this is about’, too.”

Harry cleared his throat and took a deep breath, “Aside from missing you like crazy, I called to ask for advice on what I should do.”

“I couldn’t possibly tell you. I only know half about your relationship or how your feelings for her are,” I protested.
I knew full well I could never stay objective and so any advice I would give him wouldn’t be an honest one.
“All I could do is tell you to listen to your instincts. As they’re usually pretty good.”

“So you wouldn’t advise me to break up with her?” he asked me, sounding almost shy.
I cleared my throat, searching for words. He was unbelievable. Why did he have to ask me, the girl who loved him more than his girlfriend ever could, whether or not he should be single again?

“No, I wouldn’t,” I whispered timidly, choosing to push my selfishness aside.

“Hm. Alright.”

“Would you break up with her had just told you that I think it would be for the best?”

“Probably, yeah,” he answered. “But I’ll think it through one more time then.”

I wanted to die.

“You should do that,” I encouraged, mentally slapping myself. “You have to take care of yourself, though. I don’t want you to let it get too close to your heart.”

Harry sighed and I grinned when he mumbled something under his breath.

“What was that, H?”

“I miss you,” he repeated quietly.

“I miss you, too, Harry,” I admitted, “A lot.”

The faint noise of his laugh was enough to make my stomach flutter. My breathing picked up and I pictured him sitting there with a smile on his face because he had me advising him. After years of supporting his career I was glad to be able to be there for him privately as well.  

“You should come visit me,” I spoke abruptly.

“What?”

“Think about it. You’ve never met my family before and it would give you a break from everything! Here in my hometown you would be safe from media attention and you could think about what to do next with Kendall,” I rambled, unable to contain what I truly wanted any longer. Him by my side and away from his model to maybe, finally, see me the way I saw him.

“Visit?” he asked, surprise evident in his tone, “I-I can’t- Y/N, I miss you. I do, really, but I don’t think I can leave just like that. Kendall would throw a fit and I can’t just leave in the middle of all this without talking properly to her. I’m sorry-”

I swallowed hard and tried to breath through the stinging feeling in my chest.

“I understand that,” I interrupted him quickly. “Figuring out your relationship comes first. As it should.”

“No,” Harry disagreed, his voice sounded urgent, “Don’t say it like that. You know I would never put anyone or anything before you.”

The corner of my mouth twitched into a smile.

“Are you in LA?” I asked.

“I am. Why?”

“I just want you to know that there’s a door to my house that is always wide open for you. Metaphorically speaking, not literally. That’d be weird otherwise.”

He exhaled loudly and cleared his throat.

“Y/N?”

“Yes, H?”

“You really are the best friend I have.”

My heart swelled and I felt glad that he couldn’t see my burning cheeks.  

“Right back at you. Please take good care of yourself, okay?”

“I’ll try. You do too, yeah?”

“Always do.”

And with that we ended the phone call. That Harry hadn’t jumped onto my offer of him to come here began to hurt a little, but it wasn’t like I had expected anything else. The fact that he still wanted to be a good boyfriend to a woman he knew didn’t appreciate it, made me love him even more.

…..

It had been little over two weeks since I’d spoked to Harry and there had been absolute radio silence since. My family left town for the weekend and I had decided to use the quiet home to catch up on some of the work I had still left to do. On one evening however I didn’t feel like it at all.
Although the story I was reading had me clinging to every word, I couldn’t stop myself from glancing at the phone to check for a message from Harry every once in a while. The hope hadn’t died down yet.
The sound of the doorbell straddled me. It was 10:30 pm and the sky outside had turned dark hours ago. A nervous feeling settled in the pit of my stomach. I’ve definitely watched too many horror films. Hesitantly I got up and walked to the door where I peeked through the window next to it. A movement in the dark made me jump but my heart instantly squeezed when I recognized the person waiting outside. I quickly unlocked the door and stepped out. The breath was knocked right out of me. The surprise of seeing him and how beautiful he was didn’t didn’t distract me from how exhausted he looked.

“Harry?”

“Hi,” he murmured, a faint smile on his face.

Within a second I had thrown myself at him and secured my arms around his neck while his wrapped tightly around my waist, holding me close to his chest.

“I can’t believe you came! I missed you so much,” I gushed.

After three months of being apart, I finally had him in front of me. Finally held him again. His body was warm and his shoulders strong under my touch. My hands found his hair and I exhaled happily upon finally being able to play with his soft curls again. I couldn’t swipe the smile off my face and enjoyed being able to breath him in again. Three months apart and he felt as familiar as if he’d never been gone.

“I hope it’s okay,” Harry mumbled into my hair. “You said I could visit and I…I just-” he broke off and pulled away from me before coughing heavily.

I gently patted his back in an effort to calm him. “Did your flannels not protect you from the threat that is the common cold? You should know better given how much time you spent in the oh so cold LA.”

A faint smile danced on his lips at my jokingly cooing voice, as he shook his head and with a final cough relaxed again.

“More likely in Ireland. I was visiting Niall last week.”

He came closer again and widen his arms to me. My heart jumped at the cocky half smile he had dancing on his cheeks and I gladly stepped into his arms, attaching mine once more around his shoulders. He squeezed my waist and I in return pressed a kiss to his warm cheek.

“That’s lovely,” I mumbled, “And it’s more than okay that you’re here, Harry. You’re always welcome.”

Harry hummed and nuzzled his face into my neck. I giggled quietly and shrieked when he bit down.

“I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” he whispered and exhaled a long breath.

Though I loved having Harry this close, it was this exact kind of behavior that had me close to loosing my mind. Having him embrace and holding on to me like this felt as if he needed me as desperately as I did him. And that wasn’t the case. He had Kendall.

Humming upon feeling his lips against the skin of my neck, I whispered gently: “How did everything go?”

He shrugged and released me slowly only leaving his hands to rest on my shoulders. From this close I could see the glossiness of his eyes and how sore the skin around his eyes and his cheeks was. I carefully brushed the back of my hand over the redness, hissing at how tender it felt.

“Harry?”

“It went fine,” he muttered. “Kendall and I are over.”

Relief, mixed with worry for my friend flooded me and I felt like crying when he looked at me with what I interpreted as sadness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I know how much she meant to you.”

Though I didn’t. Selfish as I was I had never asked him a lot about Kendall and was a little taken aback by the emotion in his eyes.

He shook his head, smiling a little. “That’s not what’s going on right now, Y/N.”

“Then what is?” I asked, confused by his words.

Harry shrugged and took my hand. “I’ll tell you later.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “You seem so upset. This isn’t fair. No one as kind and good as you should feel like this.”

Harry shook his head once more and leaned forward to press a quick kiss to my cheek. “I’m alright, love. You worry more than you have to.”

My eyes narrowed as I observed his face. “I still don’t buy it, but let’s go inside, okay? I don’t want you to actually get sick.”

Ten minutes later Harry sat in my kitchen and watched me make tea for us both while he recollected the invents of the past weeks. He told me that Kendall hadn’t been surprised when he told her that he thought a break up would be for the best and that they were on good terms still.

“But I figured I’m gonna give her some space before calling or texting her again. To cool off a bit.”

“So it was you who ended things and not her?” I asked, a frown forming on my forehead.

Harry smiled when he noticed and tilted his head. “Does that surprise you?”

“I mean,” I began carefully, “if you’re happier like this I’m all for it of course, but I just didn’t expect it. Over the phone you sounded like you were sad about her creating distance between the two of you. I thought you loved her.”

At that he shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Absolutely not. I liked her, but I could have never been in love with her. And neither did she love me. We were friends feeling like we somehow owed it to each other to at least try to be more, but she mistrusted me so quickly and always jumped on every article of me cheating on her. She read the worst shit about me and always believed every prejudice.”

I snorted at that. “Well that’s rich coming from her. God knows how much crap is being said about her on a daily basis and you never let that change a thing about how you felt for her. She couldn’t even give the same to you? That’s plain shitty of her.”

I shook my head, anger flooding through my body. Harry was so much more than what people made him out to be over the media and to know that his girlfriend didn’t appreciate him enough to see that, disappointed me. I was in the middle of turning to get mugs for our tea when I felt two arms wrap around me from behind. A small gasp escaped my lips when Harry stepped closer to press his chest against my back.

“Don’t frown, darling,” he mumbled and pressed his lips against my temple, “It’s all good now.”

I reached down and gently caressed his hands that were resting against my stomach.

“I just hate it when people treat you like that. You’re the kindest man I know and I wish you’d get some of what you give back sometimes. Especially from people you care about a lot.”

He only hummed and nuzzled his head into my neck where he kissed my skin. His hold on me tightened and I leaned my head further back so I could feel his short hair against my cheek.

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Is it true that you love me?”

My entire body froze and my heart beat so fast I could’ve sworn it would burst at any second.

“W-what?” I whispered. My body twisted and I tried to shrug his hold off but he only tightened his arms.

“Niall told me,” Harry murmured quietly, pulling me back closer against his chest. “He said you have for ages. You told him that you were too afraid to tell me. Is that true?”

“Niall he-” I cleared my throat, my mind desperate to catch up on what was going on. I shrugged again and this time Harry loosened his hold and allowed me to move away. My mind tried to think of a story I could sell him that would somehow keep me from loosing my best friend. All because I couldn’t keep my emotions at bay.

“You’re why I broke up with Kendall,” Harry said calmly.

I looked up to meet his shy gaze. When he knew he had my attention he continued:

“Y/N, I couldn’t force myself to try to fix this relationship. It wasn’t working out and it really began to mess with my head.”

I shook my head and willed myself not to cry in front of him.  

“So you travled to Ireland where Niall gave you the perfect solution.”

I took a deep breath and Harry frowned at my words.

“Go get the girl who’s easy and wouldn’t mind being your rebound,” I spat, anger replacing my hurt and betrayal. I couldn’t even decide at whom I was more angry. Niall or Harry.
“Well, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I am not a rebound for you and how even dare you think that! Using my feelings for you against me like this?!”

Harry moved quickly when the first sob shook me and took my hands in his. His sincere eyes met my teary ones and he reached his hands up to brush my cheeks.
“That’s not what’s going on here, Y/N. Calm breaths, darling and let me explain.”

I nodded, still slightly dazed and he smiled in relief.

“You are the most important person in my life, Y/N. You have been for what feels like forever now. But I didn’t think you felt the same so I didn’t say anything and threw myself into this relationship with Kendall, because honestly, I got lonely.”

He breathed heavily and moved his hands to my waist, holding me less than an arms reach away.

“And I was so unhappy in this relationship with her, because all I wanted is you. You never left my mind, not once and every minute I was with her, I wished it was you instead.”

I pulled a face at that. The situations he might have been in with her while thinking of me came to my mind. Reading my thoughts he chuckled a bit.

“Yeah, in those situations, too.”

“Oh, good god Harry!” I scolded and he laughed, grasping my hands when I tried to push him away. He cleared his throat and coughed.

“When I called you, I hoped you’d say something to indicate that you felt the same. When you didn’t, I decided to travel to Niall for advise and to clear my head. But before that I broke off with her. Niall didn’t tell me anything about your feelings for me while I was still with Kendall, I swear. I broke up because I felt too guilty for lying to Kendall like this and not because I knew there was a possibility that you’d let me have you.”

I swallowed hard, my heart pounding in my chest.

“This is…” I began, taking a deep breath, “a lot.”

“I know,” Harry replied, a cocky smile playing on his lips.

I shoved him back. “Don’t grin at me like that!”

“Why?” he laughed and took hold of my waist again. The warmth of his hands instantly relaxed me as he moved his hands to rest beneath my shirt so he could touch my skin. “I feel such a relief now. Having this out in the open, you know?”

My kitchen felt awfully small though I knew this conversation wouldn’t be half as bearable if it was with anyone else. I pried Harry’s hands from me and moved a few steps away again. His worried gaze followed me.

“Aren’t you happy?”

“I am,” I reassured him, not liking the scared undertone his words had, “But I’m a little overwhelmed, Harry. It wasn’t like I chose to tell you about how I feel. I wasn’t ready. You basically forced it out of me.”

“Just tell me what you feel,” he proposed.

When I didn’t answer he sighed and slowly stepped closer to me.  "Y/N, I love you.“
His voice was soft and his eyes were almost pleading. "Please. You do too, just say it.”

I looked up at him, searching for words before deciding to follow his lead and to just put everything out in the open. After all, he claimed it felt good.

“Of course, I do, Harry. I’ve loved you for longer than I’ll ever admit. Do you need me to spell it out each day for you now?”

He shrugged. “Wouldn’t complain.”

“Stop being cheeky, Harry, you really caught me completely off guard here. My mind is having trouble wrapping my head around all of what you just told me.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Harry said and held up his hands, “I shouldn’t have pushed you like this.”

I fiddled with my fingers and hesitated before speaking up again. Having Harry confess his feelings for me had been everything I ever wanted, but now that it had happened I didn’t feel as happy as I had expected to be. Seeing Harry with Kendall had somehow changed the way I saw him. I never saw him as a celebrity, but watching him show off his model girlfriend had shifted my view and now I saw how awfully different we were. He was an attractive and rich artist while I looked terrible plain and boring by his side.

“I just don’t know what we should do now,” I confessed, “Our lives are so different, Harry. Where would I fit in?”

“Right here with me, by my side. Like you always did,” Harry assured and I didn’t fight him when his hands reached for my hips. “Y/N, I love you. I’ll make sure that whatever it is that worries you, won’t ever be a threat to us, alright? M'gonna make you happy, Y/N. Please let me.”

His warm fingers gently massaged mine and his green eyes searched for some sign of consent to what he was proposing. I knew that I wanted this. He was who I wanted for years now and I knew that my need for him would never lessen or disappear.

“Y/N,” Harry begged softly, “Trust me on this.”

I sighed, moved forward and touched my hand to his cheek. I gently scratched the skin before reaching up to comb his soft hair. My lips moved to his, hesitantly at first but eager when I felt him kiss me back. I whined when he pulled away and he chuckled.

“S'that mean you wanna be my girlfriend?”

I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Yes.”

Hope you enjoyed this! Requests and Feedback are welcome! 

Masterlist: http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/144920695218/masterlist 

Polaris Con Panel Post - Part I

Hi peeps, mutuals and followers!

Last weekend, Eliza, Tati and Tasya were in Frankfurt attending Polaris Con. For all those of you who are interested and/or couldn’t be there, I have made some notes and written them down in two posts.

Before you start reading, I want you to be aware that I tried my best to write everything down. However, being not a machine, I might have missed a few things.

Most of the time, I’ve only written down the most important parts of the answers that were given. Therefore, the bullet points are always a paraphrase to some degree. Yet, I tried to be as close as possible to the intended meaning.

Also, take into account that I am not a native speaker.

For the panels: Any information that is interesting in regard to season 3, 4 or 5 are bolded.

In-between, you will find either some additional description or side notes that are more or less of personal nature. You can read it or leave it. It’s your choice.

Tagging specifically @slayyourdemonstogehter @alexthedevil @insufficient-earth-skills @echoxbellamy and @istilldothiseveryday because they asked me to or had questions that might be hopefully answered with that post.


I hope you enjoy it and without further ado, the Polaris Con Panel Post - Part I!

Expect Part II tomorrow.

 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hi, I was hoping you could help/give a little advice. I kind of attract the Fair Ones. I have a slight idea as to why, but it's still a little baffling their incessant need to pester me. They go away when I ask them too, but it seems they like to test my boundaries a lot. It's a little irritating at times. I would like to be more involved with at some point, but I'm not very good at commitments/regularity. I'm just not sure what to make of them following me whenever I go somewhere they live...

Fairies are strange fickle entities. Have you tried communicating with them to see what is up? 

If its a big problem, you can wear a bit of iron on your person to push them back when you don’t want them.

I tie an iron troll cross on my door knob, so they don’t pester my poor girlfriend when she sleeps :’)

Otherwise, I would suggest reading more into the fairy faith and practices to get a good idea of things. 

anonymous asked:

please talk about the importance of girl friendships

you know its funny bc literally the other day i was just thinking about how as a teen i always thought men would hold a more prevalent place in my life as a post-college-twenty-something. like in my head i thought id graduate college with a steady BF and move in w/ him and my ‘girl friendships’ would be more distant supporting characters, sort of like the pals in movies who we only see when the main character needs love advice

but girl friendships are p much the only prevalent thing in my life let me tell yoU i would not have survived any chunk of adult life without them! girls are amazing!

its hard to pinpoint why theyre important without giving examples so ill just

  • when girls let you borrow their makeup or their deodorant or their dry shampoo in a crisis
  • when u get your period and inevitably a girl has a tampon or a pad she’s totally willing to give you
  • when u have a good day or you did something good and the entire squad wants to celebrate (even if it’s something small!!!! they hype u up!!!)
  • tbh there is no better emotion than the feel of driving in the car with your best friends and singing along on the radio. like scientists will say otherwise but i know the truth!!!! i know it!!!
  • tbh my friendships with other girls have not only made me comforted but they’ve also made me uncomfortable in the sense that they’ve diversified my view of the world! they force me to grow! that shits important!
  • like having queer gal pals who openly talked about their sexuality/gender helped so very much with realizing my own identity & coming to terms with it
  • having poc gal pals talk about shit they’ve had to deal with or their pov on certain subjects has made me such a more mindful person with the shit i say and the way i try to speak to strangers 
  • also having female friendships has actively made me want to take care of myself more. when i see how strong or healthy my friends are bc they take care of themselves or go to therapy or take their meds, that shits inspiring. it makes me want to be a better version of myself, and treat myself better. 
  • listen to me LISTEN there is Nothing More Pure than when you have a wine night or sleepover with your friends that then turn into a ‘bad/shitty/funny sex stories tell-all’. even if you can’t participate. girls talking positively about sex and not feeling ashamed about their experiences and laughing about the weird shit that has happened in the bedroom is honest to god a magical time. 
  • when ur feeling bad abt yourself or put yourself down and ur entire squad tells you to shut the hell up ur beautiful and talented and how dare u talk to my best friend like that. that’s a good feelin. 
  • if youve never sat in a room full of girls and watched a shitty tv show like the Bachelor or a cheesy romcom, please do so. it’s a delight. 
  • girls are so free with compliments and helpful advice like tbh i get like one compliment from my friends abt my outfit or my makeup and i never need a nice word from a man ever again
  • girls protect each other so much and actively try and be there for each other so much. that one Onion headline about ‘Local Group Of Women Spends Entire Evening Validating The Shit Out of Eachother’? That’s what it’s like to have female friendships 24/7 
  • tfw someone comes into the group chat like “you’ll never guess what just happened” and everyone screams BITCH SPILL THE TEA. honestly magic. 
  • having Older Girl Friendships–girls who can give you legitimate advice and wisdom bc they’ve Been There or treat you like a big sister would. 
  • when u learn to speak each of your friends’ silent languages. i know when my one friend has had a bad day that she wants two things: boba and chipotle. my other friend? head scratch and a back massage. another friend i will let come over to my house and sleep in my bed until she feels better. you learn to love each other in smaller, subtle ways that speak miles. and tbh i think that’s one of the best goddamn things in the universe. 
  • girls are also (thank god) so shameless about taking selfies and candid photos. they document that shit. pictures of your random trips and adventures. even if you look terrible and sunburned or are making silly faces. good and pure. 
  • this is such a long post and i could easily write 65 more bullet points
  • ;tldr: GIRLS! ARE! AMAZING! AND FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS SHAPED ME!
[Translation] 100% SKE48 vol.1 Matsui Jurina x Nakanishi Yuka

Back with 100%SKE48, it’s time for Jurina and Nishishi.

A long but precious interview. Hope you enjoy reading!

*Please note this interview was done last year*


Because times have passed, so I can say

Jurina, just go without hesitation!

In Spring 2015, Nakanishi Yuka, former SKE’s captain who was the main support for Jurina left Nagoya.

Now, 1 year has passed, positions and surroundings have changed a lot.

What will two of them talk about?

The conversation has gone far longer than 8 years history.

Matsui Rena graduation

Nishi: Jurina, long time no see.

J: long…not at all! I still went to see your stage play recently.

Nishi: Yeah, right. Thanks for coming.

J: “Cherry Boys” at Ginza Hakuhinkan Theater, right?

Nishi: How was it? I played the pregnant wife role.

J: leave that aside, I was impressed having a chance to see Nishishi’s stage play. Even some scenes that weren’t so touching, I still felt “ahhh this is good” You were really sparkling. I couldn’t hold my tears.

Nishi: I’m glad. Next time when there’s a stage play, you should try reviewing it. You would help promoting this way *laugh*

J: Well, though I’m younger but I feel like I’m your mom.

Nishi: Though we have 8 years gap but it doesn’t feel weird.

J: Yeah. I also think like that. It’s because we are in the same gen.

Nishi: But I have twenty-something mind.

J: You are overexaggerating *laugh* but you were really sparkling. Maybe, that’s because it’s what you wanted to do.

Nishi: That’s not it. It’s still too far from my dream.

J: Seeing Nishishi like this makes me want to do what I want.

Nishi: However, after graduation, I felt that I could utilize what I have learnt from SKE!

J: Because it had to be perfect, right?

Nishi: Since I was praised about dancing, my chance got higher.

J: This is great.

Nishi: Enough with my stuffs, let’s get to the point! I graduated in March last year. Then, how were you and SKE48? Still suffering from “Rena Loss”? (t/n: impact from Rena graduation)

J: “Rena Loss” *laugh* I saw it from Rena-chan’s twitter. It’s interesting.

Nishi: I saw it, too. *laugh*

J: Since Nishishi and Nee-san graduated, 1st gen had only 3 left (Jurina Rena Masana). Though I always said “so lonely” but actually, Rena-chan was also thinking about graduating.

Nishi: I see. She just hadn’t determined the time yet.

J: The time when we three being together was short. For me, I wanted “we three, let’s try our best together” so, when Rena-chan announced graduation, I felt really lonely.

Nishi: So, this is the reason of “Rena Loss”

J: Right. The pillars graduated continually.

Nishi: But you still have Masana, right?

J: Um, when we have discussion, I started to feel that I’m being like Masana.

Nishi: There are also other kids, right?

J: like (Kitagawa) Ryoha and Goto Rara-chan, right?

Nishi: I missed 7th gen.

J: And also Kuma-chan (Kumazaki Haruka) as I see these kids growing up, I am happy. They are the reason I can rise from Rena Loss.

Niahi: For Jurina, nurturing these kids is like seeing bright future of SKE48, isn’t it?

J: Yes. 1st gen has only 2 left. There are also not many left in 2nd gen. Up until now, many SKE’s main forces graduated one after another. It’s so lonely.

Nishi: I graduated almost a year, during this time, is there anything changed? I want to know.

J: I remember when Nishishi and Nee-san graduate, you said “we hope that members, who have realized that we won’t be here anymore, would come out and take part” When they heard that, they got enthusiastic like “I have to do something for SKE48” not just for themselves but for group. It was a pleasure to see. They got fired up just like when 1st gen got in the group, like “We have to make SKE48 better” the atmosphere was like that time.  

Nishi: I see. I started to feel lonely a bit. Did everyone forget us already?

J: No way! For example, Suzuki (Rika) and also many others, they said “Nishishi and Miepi aren’t here anymore!” *laugh*

Be your support

Nishi: After suffering “Rena Loss” for a while, you were saved by 7th gen. In March this year, Miyazawa-san also graduated, right? You must be lonely.

J: Yeah.

Nishi: And worried?

J: Yeah. For me, Sae-chan is my first Senpai in SKE48. If only we have her, we feel secure. Not only me, but everyone also thinks like that because of Sae-chan existence. Of course, we were confused both when she decided to graduate and when before her graduation stage started…though we wanted to smile for her, there were kids crying.

Nishi: For Jurina, you felt worried or insecure, which one?

J: I felt insecure. At first, I thought I wouldn’t cry in graduation stage but my tears fell down when I was speaking.

Nishi: You’re also a senior.

J: Um, I would like to have Sae-chan graduates with atmosphere that is full of happiness, so I didn’t want to cry. Sae-chan is essential. Although I said like this, I still can’t be as great as her.

Nishi: It can’t be exactly the same. If your goal is to be like that, I think you are forced yourself too much.

J: I’m overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to be support for everyone but I may not be good enough to say that.

Nishi: That’s so? Jurina is kind of person who lead everyone just by letting them look at her back. I think you’re showing juniors that everything is okay. Meanwhile, we also had concert tour and performed “Wimbledon e tsureteitte”

J: I got to do a roleplay with you and Masana, too.

Nishi: You want to sustain that condition, don’t want it to end but you couldn’t. You must be very anxious.

J: Now, I have no one to rely on.

Nishi: How about Yuasa (Hiroshi, SKE theater manager)? He’s just like one of 1st gen. You can talk to him about absolutely everything.

J: Yeah, I can talk to him about everything. He also has experience as AKB48 manager. His comeback would make SKE better.

Nishi: You know it when you were on concurrency, right?

J: That’s why he understands when I ask him ‘would doing like this be good for SKE?’ it’s good that he’s back.

Nishi: For me, in fact, I didn’t know that he’s back. Is there any change?

J: The love for SKE48 has increased.

Nishi: I see!

J: He’s doing many things for SKE48 even when members don’t see him.

Nishi: Yuasa wouldn’t tell these things to members. He might be misunderstood easily. He should let them see sometimes.

J: You’re right. Yuasa-san also has weakness. But however, he’s trying to find the way for SKE48. He’s working, anyways.

Nishi: This may be because Jurina’s perspective has broadened? You started working 7 years ago, now you’ve grown up, right?

J: I think so, too. Yuasa-san is also not young.

Nishi: Right. You’ll be 20 next year? You entered when you were 11. As we speak, Yuasa-san must not be quite young *laugh*  

Nakanishi’s this 1 year

J: Hey, how about you in this past 1 year? I want to know, really want to know.

Nishi: I got roles in 3 stage plays, got accustomed to it a bit. Though I can’t compare with other actors but being in new environment, living my life actively, I think I’ve grown a lot in this past year. I started to live in Tokyo alone, signed with new agency, did what I never do, gained more experience. There are more things I accomplished by myself, but I also feel lonely.

J: I see!

Nishi: In those 7 years, there were only things I do with members, right? Now, I’m alone. Feel so lonely.

J: Hahaha it’s incredibly lonely, right?

Nishi: Yeah, very lonely.

J: Has anything changed after you graduated?

Nishi: In SKE48, there were only younger people. Now, colleagues who play in stage plays together are all older. I’m still studying how should I communicate with them.

J: Have you met former members?

Nishi: I met Shawako (Hata Sawako) often, at least once a month, we would go have dinner. She insisted to come to see my stage play because we are in Venus Project together and maybe because we are in the same agency.

J: What about current members?

Nishi: I went out with (Deguchi) Aki, Masana was also there. *laugh* and Ha-chan (Ono Haruka), too.

J: all 1st gen!!!

Nishi: I met Masana many times after graduate.

J: Did you talk about SKE48?

Nishi: Of course, it was about Jurina * laugh* like “recently, there’s something like that” or “she cancelled concurrent position” Around half month ago, I also met Isohara (Kyoka). I got to know that she was about to move to Tokyo. She got agency and would come to work in Tokyo.

J: That’s great! I’m happy to know about graduated members.

Nishi: Suzuki (Rika) also contacts me a lot. (Inuzaka) Asana, too. Asana, she really believes in you.

J: Where did you hear that from?

Nishi: from me *laugh*

J: I’m so happy.

Nishi: right! I also met Kuwabara Mizuki. We went out to eat with (Kato) Rumi.

J: I also met her a lot.

Nishi: For Mieko (Nee-san), though we haven’t met but we talk a lot.

J: SKE48’s bond is so strong. Especially 1st gen, you still keep in touch even after graduate. I’m glad.

Regarding juniors

Nishi: my life is just like that recently. Talking about you cancelled concurrency, you also sent LINE message.

J: To Ikkimuchi LINE group, what did you think? (t/n: Jurina, Rena, Masana, Nakanishi, Mieko aka Ikkimuchi)

Nishi: I think “ahh is that so?”

J: just that? *laugh*

Nishi: Even though I didn’t say it out but I can give you some advice if you need. I think it’s good for your health. You would go back and forth between Tokyo-Nagoya less.

J: Not at all, though.

Nishi: No? *laugh*

J: To be honest, I didn’t cancel it because of this.

Nishi: but I think I understand why you did that.

J: What you said is just like what my fans said to me.

Nishi: During this time, I already turned to be your fans. *laugh*

J: That’s right. Nishishi and Nee-san graduated, Rena-chan graduated, then we faced with “Rena Loss”. For SKE48, this is really huge. I, myself, felt that if I don’t do something, SKE48 would be over.

Nishi: About this, I knew it from LINE.

J: So, just as I said earlier, the ones who saved me were 7th gen.

Nishi: I don’t know much about 7th gen, tell me what they’ve got.

J: so much that I can’t explain it all *laugh* First of all, 7th gen has to perform “Party” stage. I went to see them practice and rehearsal. I felt nostalgic.

Nishi: like looking at ourselves in the past?

J: Yeah. I sat in the front row, watching them practice, seeing those sweat, hearing stomping sound “bang bang” that kind of feeling.

Nishi: Full of young spirit.

J: Yes, this feeling is SKE48. But AKB48’s “Party” stage and SKE48’s “Party” stage are different, right?

Nishi: That’s right. SKE48’s “Party” stage is full of SKE48 characteristic. It has Anna-sensei’s style.

J: When 7th gen performed, they still gave out AKB48 feeling. I wanted to put SKE48 soul into it, so I went to practice with them. There’s a song called “SKE48”, right? There’re famous places of SKE48 in this song. If they don’t perform it with SKE48 soul, it can’t be right. I just told them like “let’s change a bit here and there” Though I don’t know much but I did it with the thought of how would we like the fans, that have been supporting us since the beginning, to feel when they come back to see us.

Nishi: I see. How’s Goto Rara?

J: The moment I saw her for the first time, I felt that this is the feeling of SKE48.

Nishi: Heh? What do you mean?

J: She has aura, looks reliable.

Nishi: I’ve never talked to her. The day I graduate was the day 7th gen debut.

J: To other 7th gen, I would be like “do your best!” “it’s not correct here” but to Rara, there’s nothing like that at all.

Nishi: Has that much fighting spirit?

J: Yeah, she’s good.

Nishi: but being like this means we set very high barricade for her.

J: Is that so? I also think that it puts her in trouble.

Nishi: This is also what Jurina had been through.

J: Um. She is really like me. I went to see Shonichi rehearsal and once again after that. Rara wasn’t cheerful at all that time. She seemed anxious and kind of lonely. When performance ended and sending off audiences, she mostly kept her head down. There might be some fans said something harsh to her. It was the time when she’s in 3rd position in “Mae no Meri”, there may be quite a number of fans that objected against it.

Nishi: There are always this kind of fans.

J: Once it ended, I rushed to her. Though she didn’t say anything but I could see her painful eyes. So, I said “I know what you want to say” At the time of Oogoe diamond, I also went through these things, like skipping me at handshake event. I knew well how Rara felt, I thought I have to encourage her.

J: Jurina became Onee-san *laugh*

J: At first, I thought fans would accept it but it wasn’t like that. Whoever stands on the front must put guard on, no matter with members or fans.

Nishi: but if you couldn’t get through these things, you wouldn’t be able to shine. Like Jurina being Jurina nowadays, I think it’s a step you need to step over.

Regarding SKE48

Nishi: What does Jurina think about SKE48 from now on?

J: I want us to be like Chunichi Dragons. People living in Nagoya say “If you think about Nagoya, it must be Chunichi” that’s the reason they support, right? It’s just like that. We need to pay more attention to locals. Both staffs and members think like that. There are still many people who don’t recognize SKE48. I want people no matter near or far to come to see SKE48. However, the current SKE48 has only little exposure in local. So, we want to go and perform in many places.

Nishi: This is also involved with cancelling concurrency, right?

J: Right. I want to have people say “If you think about Nagoya, it must be SKE48”

Nishi: This issue remains since SKE48 established in 2008. Since we can’t achieve it, we need to continue on.

J: When Rena-chan was still here, we were in AKB48 Senbatsu together. We agreed to “try our best to let people recognize SKE48” but recently, only one SKE member in AKB senbatsu is me. If there is only me in that place, people would see me as AKB member. This thought always lingers in my mind. So, once concurrency ended, I can proudly say “SKE48” out loud

Nishi: if there’s someone come to see you and think that you’re good, I’m sure they will come to know SKE48.

J: Yeah. But if I’m still in concurrent position and talk about SKE48, they would be like ‘what?’

Nishi: Of course, we also like AKB48.

J: Yep. AKB48’s single this time, Ryoha and Rara entered senbatsu, too.

Nishi: ah! 44th single, right?

J: Um! This made my heart grows. Even though SKE48 was the no.1 group in last year general election, but after “Halloween Night” Sae-chan, Aya-chan, Churi and Kaotan were not chosen. It’s so frustrated. Though we were looking forward to make SKE48 be more recognized.

Nishi: That’s difficult. Only one member power can’t do anything.

J: That’s right. We also can’t blame staff-san.

Nishi: So, it’s about how will you create chances for SKE48 to be more popular. But recently, you started to use twitter.

J: Yes. I started on my 19th birthday.

Nishi: I think this can help people know more about SKE48.

J: But I’m not good with internet.

Nishi: Sure, you are *laugh* however, Kamata (Natsuki) is now invading Shogi world. She got calendar from Shogi association and posted it on twitter. Jurina, you can post more of your selfies.

J: I can?

Nishi: Absolutely! Everyone can see cute Jurina. Twitter really has power of spreading. If members show what they can do, it would help spreading more.  That aside, you always push yourself too much. You should know your limit. What if you get sick, it wouldn’t be the same.

J: Okayyy. In that case, I hope there will be a lot of members say “you can reply on me”

Nishi: Up until now, though they have “next generation” tag on them, but I think they shouldn’t be bound by that. I think we all have to take responsibility.

J: Um. Now, I feel that everyone is really solidified.

Nishi: That’s good. If everyone keeps the thought “I will pull it forward” in mind, it would be great, right? Jurina is also considering “who should come and help pulling SKE48?” This is the best way. If anyone can stand as the center of SKE48 without hesitation, that would be nice, right? However, there might be the case that you expect too much from them that they got awfully pressured.

J: That’s true.

Nishi: See, your working schedule is already that full. For example, if you get sick and no one can replace the center position in that complicated situation or only this child can do gravure…something like that, what should we do?

J: For me, I also want SKE48 to have Kami7.

Nishi: That happens spontaneously, doesn’t it?

J: That doesn’t happen spontaneously. I think releasing a single with few members is one way to do.

Nishi: “Gomenne Summer” also has 7 members. It has really good balance.

J: The single released in last autumn also has 7 members.

Nishi: Love Crescendo, is it? I think it’s very challenging because you would never know how it will be.

J: The single released in March “Chicken LINE” me, Ryoha and Rara are on the front row. Though I don’t have authority to determine this but I think it’s the image of SKE48. This is good although I want many members to stand at the front. When people say “thinking about SKE48, it must be this girl” and that face pops out in their mind. If we could have more SKE48 faces popping out, we would be stronger.

Nishi: Yeah. In order to make people remember, we need regular TV program.

J: Correct!

Nishi: That’s the most important!…though we just surmise it *laugh* but to utilize SKE48, we have to form MC team.

Jurina’s feeling

Nishi: judging from what we’ve talked so far, the feeling of wanting SKE48 to be better comes out all the time. You’re not changed at all. I think Jurina’s love for SKE48 is greatest.

J: I always think of how I can spread SKE48 further. It’s what I always worry about.

Nishi: If you ask me, I think it’s not the thing that you have to carry too much. There are things that Jurina alone can’t do, right? All of that turns out to be “I have to do something”

J: Umm this is exactly what I can’t do *laugh*

Nishi: Just leaving it to Yuasa-san is enough. Let staff-san handle it. There are a lot of staffs that love SKE48. There may be things that we can’t do right now but it’s okay. If Jurina wants to do it, just tell staff-san “This kid has this outstanding point” wouldn’t it be good? Just tell them to notice others’ good point.

J: Um, I see.

Nishi: This way, it will be like “our Jurina said that” *laugh*

J: If I say it, will I be able to persuade?

Nishi: Manager-san can’t see members before they changed into costume. Members, when they are in front of managers, get so nervous that they can’t express well. So, if Jurina can tell them “that girl is really good at telling jokes”, maybe when they contact with comedians, they would see this point. Have you tried talking with many persons? For example, talking with BUBKA-san that “This girl has perfect body” or “This girl is really fired up, please invite her too” Oh! In the past, you also told BUBKA-san that you want them to shoot me in swimsuit. Though they didn’t really make the photoshoot, but you did it. *laugh*

J: Fufufufu but I’m still not quite confident in my thought.

Nishi: That’s alright. I can guarantee, have some confidence.

J: Is that so? It would be better if I’m not that serious, right?

Nishi: Yeah

J: Then, in order to do that, I have to know more about members. I want to meet members more often, talk about SKE48 more often.

Nishi: I can’t help you with that *laugh* but Sae-san also graduated. SKE48 is getting to the next chapter, right? No matter it’s big or little issue, you need to think it through though you still can’t see the result.

J: You’re right. SKE48 right now has a good sign. In Sae-chan graduation concert, I said “SKE48 is in a pinch” but now, I don’t feel anything bad. That’s because juniors are so active. Everyone wants to do something for SKE48. So, I think promising future is waiting for us.

Nishi: That’s good.

J: One thing without a doubt is that although member graduates, fans are still here. Just like when I said “SKE48 is in a pinch” the fans replied me “SKE48 will be alright” “let’s do our best together” I’m happy hearing that. SKE48 are driven by fans. Members, fans and staffs, we hold hands and go together. Though there are members graduate, the heat is not cool down at all. So, I’m looking forward to this coming general election.

Nishi: It’s coming soon, do your best!

J: Since I cancelled concurrency, I face with anxiety ‘what I should do’. So, having a chance to talk with you today, I feel that my perspective has been broadened. I want to go forward!

Nishi: Whoa! That’s good.

J: It’s a bit sad but I’m the type that if there’s anything I can do by myself, I would try. I can’t stop.

Nishi: How many times have I told you that don’t overdo it *laugh* eat properly, sleep properly, health comes first!

J: You’re just like my mom *laugh*

Nishi: When you face any problems, come to talk in Ikkimuchi LINE group. Mieko would be the first one who replies. *laugh*

J: You always reply late.

Nishi: Yeah. If you wait for me to reply, you would just change the topic already…about this, just forget it! For me, I want you to stay childish forever.

J: But I’m 19 already.

Nishi: What are you talking about? Kuwabara Mizuki is almost 25 but she’s still childish! She still says “…yaki!” *laugh* So, you just continue being like this.

J: Um, understood! Thank you for today!


I dont get why more fans dont headcanon ushiwaka as autistic i mean??

Missing social cues :
-he really thinks hes giving oikawa good advice w/ the ‘you should have…’ bc he thinks thats the environment oikawas talent would grow best in
-doesnt get why oikawa gets so mad when he says that
-doesnt get why people get mad when he’s overly blunt and inconsiderate of others feelings/circumstances when he speaks
-doesnt catch sarcasm, misses jokes

Special interest:
-in canon, volleyball, all he really cares about is whether he can play, if his opponents are any good, improving is the most important thing to him so he sees it as naturally important to everyone around him too
-in fanon, gardening, linking everything back to analogies to express his sentiments, ideas and feelings.

Probably more stuff idk im typing this as it occurs to me bc ive been in the car for 8hrs feel free to add to this but idg why people only meantion kenma when it comes to autistic character headcanons.

mas-quecoisa  asked:

Did you already spend time without drawing absolutely nothing? Like, like you quit? Like me, for example, I was a drawing person for almost 9 straight hours, and now I can not stand 5 minutes. If you've been through something like that, how did you get out of it? And I'm sorry if my english came out bad, I'm not fluent x-x

Of course. There were months I didn’t have time to draw anything or even think about it xD While I was studying (taking two courses) there wasn’t much time for art. I drew during summer.
Now I draw very often, even when I don’t have time for that (which is bad) and I can’t imagine not being able to draw. When I don’t draw I think about drawing or dream about it xD I just need it to function.
But I understand you. There are times when I have no desire to draw, when I don’t need it because it makes me more frustrated and nervous. Nothing turns out the way I want but I don’t want to spend time on it so it looked better. And I feel guilty not drawing which makes it all worse.

I think you might burned out a bit. Drawing 9 hours a day (every day) is… not a good idea. On one hand you improve (probably very fast) but on the other hand you’re just killing yourself artistically.
That’s why you should have some other hobbies, something that will help you recharge, stop thinking about drawing for a while.
Then, after some time, you can go back to drawing. I can see you really want to draw again. Is it because it’s your job or you miss it? Either way, if you want to draw again you need to force yourself to do it at first. But maybe try something you haven’t tried yet. Art can be interesting once you find something new in it.

Recently, I don’t like drawing very much because:
- I feel I don’t improve
- I think I stuck a bit in one style
- I feel like people are expecting me to draw particular things I don’t feel like drawing.
But I fight it, I try to draw full bodies and understand anatomy better, I try new styles, I try to draw what I like and not to worry about what other people would probably prefer to see. When I don’t feel too patient I pick something that requires a lot of effort but I also do everything to make it pleasurable (e.g. I choose the subject I like).

I don’t know why exactly you don’t draw so it’s hard to give a nice advice. Just calm down, get rid of art from your head for some time and try not to feel like you have to draw. Then be gentle with yourself, try to get excited again with something you love :)