why women are crazy

Yall remember *NSYNC?

Remember how they (along with the backstreet boys) were the most popular boybands worldwide during the late 90s and into the millennium?

Remember the member Lance Bass?

Remember how he dated Danielle Fishel and they were “so in love”?

Remember how after they broke up, he exclusively dated women?

Remember all the rumors he had about him not being straight?

Remember when TMZ and Perez Hilton started following him around?

Remember when shortly after all this he came out as gay 4 years after *NSYNC disbanded?

Remember the reasons he gave as to why he didn’t come out a lot sooner than he did?

Do you think people told his speculators back then that they were delusional just like they tell Kaisoo shippers that now?

I bet they did, but in the end:

I rest my case.

Men are socialized since birth to think their feelings and thoughts are the objective truth. 

They are taught they are generally right about something, unless contradicted by another male with equal or more authority. Men subconsciously believe they are firmly right about things so much they won’t even consider alternative perspectives unless it comes from a place of higher authority.

Men are socialized to believe women are inherently wrong, and that is why women are “crazy”, because it is so difficult for men to even consider the possibility that they don’t know shit. 

This is why men often offer strong opinions on topics they just heard about, especially if they’re contradicting a woman. 

This is because people will respect a man’s opinion and give his words weight even if he has zero background in the subject because men are considered credible by default. 

Women are considered wrong by default and must argue their way to display their truth, no matter how strong their credentials.

Men probably have to tell themselves they’re logical all the time just to keep up the lie that feeds their ego. 

Thinking is difficult work for a man who is used to instantly being told he is right, while women are constantly being argued against and therefore exploring the topics more deeply and doing more thinking.

 this excellent summary of the problem is from witwitch - please write more!

Men are socialized since birth to think their feelings and thoughts are the objective truth.

They are taught they are generally right about something, unless contradicted by another male with equal or more authority. Men subconsciously believe they are firmly right about things so much they won’t even consider alternative perspectives unless it comes from a place of higher authority.

Men are socialized to believe women are inherently wrong, and that is why women are “crazy”, because it is so difficult for men to even consider the possibility that they don’t know shit.

This is why men often offer strong opinions on topics they just heard about, especially if they’re contradicting a woman.

This is because people will respect a man’s opinion and give his words weight even if he has zero background in the subject because men are considered credible by default.

Women are considered wrong by default and must argue their way to display their truth, no matter how strong their credentials.

Men probably have to tell themselves they’re logical all the time just to keep up the lie that feeds their ego.

Thinking is difficult work for a man who is used to instantly being told he is right, while women are constantly being argued against and therefore exploring the topics more deeply and doing more thinking.

this excellent summary of the problem is from witwitch - please write more!

Outlast 2

Dude 2 : Yes yes something not in the asylum
Dude 3 : How about look deeper into the Walrider?

Dude 2 : Yes yes Eddie is quite popular
Dude 3 : How about we look into the discovery of the Walrider in a public area?

Dude 3 : But guys, we need to continue the main plot about the walrider-
Dude 2 : Hmmm… How about more Eddie like people? Yes yes…

Dude 3 : GUYS?! It’s the same universe we have to follow the main lines
Dude 2 : Yes yes how about a cult

Dude 3 : No please
Dude 2 : A cult full of
Dude 3 : Oh Dear lord

Dude 1: Eddie Gluskins

Red Barrels : ….and that’s how the cult full of people crazy about pregnant women came about.

Blake : Why do I lose my balls tho

Red Barrels : Because Eddie

-The End-

one of the little costuming details on crazy ex girlfriend that makes me stupidly happy is that they let the women have chipped nail polish a lot. like? it’s something that helps me feel like these are real people.

“He’s a good man.”  x

“Sam’s a sweetheart. As a person, he’s just incredibly generous.” x

“Sam’s the greatest guy. That’s why women go crazy about him. You really see what a good guy he is and that shines through - always.” x

“Very proud of this generous and big hearted man. Always inspired and impressed by his capacity for helping others.” x

“No one is perfect … But he … comes pretty close” x

      ~ Caitriona Balfe on Sam Heughan

Happy Birthday to the good, sweet, generous, big hearted and pretty close to perfect Sam Heughan!

10 Reasons Why Men Shouldn't Cheat On Women Who Love Beyoncé

Originally posted by voulair

Reason 1: We’re crazy lol

Originally posted by emmasopheah

I mean if you want to risk your car windows being broken out, your tires being slashed or us hovering over you in the bed with a flash light than be my guest.

Reason 2: We’re not afraid to replace you

Originally posted by yonceisthequeen

You can do us dirty if you want to but best believe we’ll be moving on to the next in a minute because when you play us you play yourself.

Reason 3: We’re faithful!

Originally posted by crazyinyonce

When we love, we love hard and we’ll always be by your side through thick and through thin.

Reason 4: We’re low key some freaks.

Originally posted by mtvstyle

We may be some ladies in the streets but best believe we know how to put it down in the bedroom in ways you couldn’t even imagine.

Reason 5: We’re understanding

Originally posted by jon0h

The thing is y’all don’t really have to lie to us. If you just keep it a hundred with us then more than likely we’d be understanding. Honesty is really all we want from you.

Reason 6: We overlook your flaws

Originally posted by ignitetheliight

Sure you might not be perfect and sure you may not be ballin’ out of control but we’re not afraid to work with you, uplift you and give you the benefit of the doubt when necessary.

Reason 7: We’re strong

Originally posted by dailybeyoncegifs

Meaning we know how to survive with or without you. Just because we want you, it doesn’t mean we need you and y’all must remember that.

Reason 8: We know how to take care of home

Originally posted by yonceisthequeen

A good woman who can cook, clean, and be a good mother to your child? What else could you really ask for?

Reason 9: We more than likely have crazy girlfriends too

Originally posted by mynomadicwanderlust

You hurt one of us, you hurt us all and best believe we’ll all be after you in a heartbeat.

Reason 10: Don’t play yourself lol

Originally posted by mrsbey

We’ll make your life miserable and feel no regrets about it.

Unfortunately however, I know there are some men out there who will ignore this and still decide to cheat anyway but please know you’ll miss out on the best woman you’ve ever had.

Originally posted by lemonadedaily

P.S. after Lemonade do y’all really want to risk y’all lives like that? lol

My Two Cents About Yandere Simulator

I don’t honestly remember when I first got into Yandere Simulator. But, what I do remember that I had fell in love with the game after seeing people do Let Play’s of it. I used to love going on YandereDev’s youtube channel and seeing updates about the game. I was hyped up about getting the game.

And then, I discovered @stop-yanderedev.

At first, I was like “oh great, some pointless hate blog”. I had seen blogs like that before and expected this blog to be run by a bunch of butt-hurt babies who have zero reasons to hate the game.

But, after going through the blog, reading all the posts and receipts, I woke the fuck up. I didn’t know how shitty the dev was and what he had done before. I also didn’t realize how shitty some of the fans were and what lengths they would go for to make “some silly sjws triggered X3″. The really cool mods over at @stop-yanderedev made me realize a lot of things about the game. And, I am so fucking glad that I found them.

I like Yandere Simulator, I really do. I think it’s an interesting concept with a lot of potential. But, the way YandereDev is going about this, I am very disappointed. I can’t believe that the fans of Yandere Simulator can come up with much more interesting concepts than the dev himself.

So, to get to the point of my little rant, let’s start talking about the things that I think can make Yandere Simulator better.

1. The Protagonist

[ Picture taken straight from the official Yandere Simulator website ]

Firstly, I do not like Yandere-chan/Ayano Aishi. She is bland and uninteresting to me. I do not know much about anime, but what I do know is that yanderes are supposed to pretend to be this cutesy, harmless person to hide the fact that they’re fucking insane. I’ll admit, I like the idea of having a yandere who is emotionless until they meet their obsession. But, I would love to see that emotionless yandere pretend to be sweet and innocent to hide the fact that they’re apathetic and cruel to those who get in the way of their obsession. Ayano would be a much better character if she pretends to feel something to trick people into thinking that she’s harmless and wouldn’t hurt a fly.

I’ll admit, I love her name. Ayano Aishi rolls off the time rather nicely. Plus, Yan-chan is a really cute nickname. Her design doesn’t look too bad, either. But her backstory and personality is just so…meh.

[ Picture taken straight from the official Yandere Simulator website ]

Same goes for Yandere-kun. From what I’ve heard, he’s sadistic and looks like another anime character. Aren’t Yandere-kun and Ayano-chan the same person? Why is Ayano apathetic and emotionless, while Yan-kun is sadistic and possessive? Why can’t he look like a male-version of Ayano? I would honestly love to see Yan-kun with a ponytail. It would be so cute! But no, we get this asshole right here.

Honestly, the protagonist is the most important character in the game. They’re the ones that will be remembered the most. If YandereDev wants his game to be the best it can be, he needs to work on Yandere-chan/kun and make them not boring.

2. Senpai

[ Picture taken straight from the official Yandere Simulator website ]

Senpai/Taro Yamada is Ayano’s obsession, not to mention the main crush of all most of the rivals. If that’s the case, then why the fuck is he so BORING? I don’t care if he’s sitting in the “main protagonist seat”, how is that boy able to get so many girls fawning over him? He looks like a generic anime boy you see time and time again. He has no character whatsoever, as far as I can tell.

Now, I love Senpai. He’s probably one of my favorite characters (alongside Oka, Kokona, Midori, Shin, and Budo). Why do I like him, even though he’s boring? I like him, as in my version of him. I have so many headcanons, so many ideas about him that it made me love him.

My version of Senpai is that he’s kind and caring. He’s an awkward dork with a love for nature and animals. He likes reading and drawing. He loves his friends and family to death. He’ll stand up for others and risk his own safety for the sake of those he cares about. Senpai is not Senpai, but Taro Yamada. In my version of him, I give reasons as to why people would fall for him in the first place. I don’t just say “Oh, people like him because he ended sitting in some specific chair”, I give a real, valid reason for it.

Senpai has so much potential. I really hope he doesn’t stay the boring character that he is now.

3. The Rivals

There are rivals here that I like and make sense. Osana I can see as a rival since she had known Taro for a very long time and I honestly love the friends-to-lovers trope to death. Amai and Oka are adorable and Asu is amazing.

Then, there are rivals that I don’t like and that don’t make sense. Why the fuck would Hanako care if her brother got a girlfriend? I get that she loves him a lot and that she wants his attention, but what the fuck? If I was her, I would embarrass the hell out of Taro and tease him about all the attention he’s getting. I wouldn’t care if he got a girlfriend, unless that girlfriend is a fucking asshole or a crazy bitch. Also, why would two, grown-ass women be interested in student like Taro? I find that unsettling that two, grown-ass women would want to fuck a teenager. And, isn’t it illegal for teachers to date students?

Plus, their names. Oh my god, their names are fucking stupid. They’re not real names you would hear in real life or in an actual anime. They’re names that fucking middle school weebs in anime club would make up.

You want meaningful names, YandereDev? Then, DO YOUR MOTHERFUCKING RESEARCH. Don’t just type some adjective into Google Translate and see what that word is in Japanese. Go find some sites that provide you with actual Japanese names and their meanings, like Behind The Name or something.

Look, here’s an example!

[ Picture taken from the Yandere Simulator Wiki ]

Look at Oka Ruto. She’s the leader of the Occult Club and a fanatic for the supernatural, right? So, she’s a pretty spooky person. What name would fit her nicely?

How about Amaya Kuroba, instead? Amaya (雨夜) means “night rain” and Kuroba (黒羽) means “black wing”. Perfect for a spooky girl like Oka! You know how I got that name? I did my FUCKING RESEARCH, that’s how!

Or, or! What about Osoro Shidesu?

[ Picture taken from the official website ]

She is the leader of the delinquents and is known to be the strongest person at Akademi High. What name could possibly suit this badass girl?

Shinobu Tsuyoshi could fit! Shinobu (忍) means “endurance” and Tsuyoshi (剛) means “strong” or “tough”. Wow, another fitting name that’s actual Japanese! The wonders of doing your research.

In short, rethink the rivals. Their names need changing and some need to be replaced. And by some, I mean Mida, Muja, and Hanako need to go.

4. Info-chan

[ Picture taken from the official site ]

Info-chan is a character I’m very interested in. I find her character intriguing. A girl who seemingly knows everything about everyone at school? Sign me the fuck up.

But, when it comes to her “currency”, she loses me. Panty shots are dumb and gross. I don’t care about it being an “anime trope”, it’s fucking stupid. Of all the things, why did it had to be panty shots?

The only thing I have to say is that her currency needs to change. Be more creative with it, because panty shots just don’t cut it. AT ALL.

5. Character Designs

Most of the characters are really pale. Like, what the fuck is up with that? Not every Japanese person is pale like a goddamn white person. Asian people can have dark or brown skin. How do I know? BECAUSE I’M A FUCKING ASIAN WHO HAS BROWN SKIN AND I’M SICK OF SEEING PEOPLE THINK ALL ASIAN ARE PALE AS SHIT. Newsflash, we aren’t. Want examples? Look at Asians from the Philippines, or from India. Hell, look at Asians who are also black. Dark/brown skinned Asians exist, folks. But also, everyone looks the same. The girls have the same body type, save for their boobs, and face. So do the boys. Would kill YandereDev to at least have some diversity with the students’ body types and faces? Probably.

Not only that, why are female high school students wearing female middle school uniforms? And why are the skirts so short? Akademi High is a prestigious private school, right? So, their uniforms should look nice and mature. Like this:

Or, it could like this:

These uniforms are far more appealing and mature than the sailor fuku. These would suit the female students of Akademi High far more than the sailor fuku.

Also, on the subject of Akademi High being a prestigious, shouldn’t it be stricter about their dress codes? As shown in the pictures above, the students’ hair is not bright, rainbow colors but natural colors. Through research (yes, again), I gathered that Japanese students are not allowed to dye their hair bright, wild colors due to their strict dress codes. So, wouldn’t make sense for Akademi High to forbid their students from dying their hair wild colors?

To put it in short, make the uniforms look like they belong in a private, Japanese high school and making characters diverse isn’t hard.

And, that’s pretty much it! Like I said, Yandere Simulator has so much potential to be a really fun game. But, if it keeps going in the direction it’s already going at, then you can bet your ass that I’m not gonna buy it.

Again, thank you @stop-yanderedev for helping me realize how shitty the game and dev actually is. You guys are really awesome and I really hope you see this post.

So yeah, thanks for reading! I’m probably going to get shit on for stating my opinion, but whatever.

I also might post my version of how I think Yandere Simulator should be like, so watch out for that!


Just another day on SA…. I always find it amusing when I receive messages like this. “You’re interested in ______ (non-black race) OR you’re interested in older men” …. I’m interested in your annual income, dumbass.

Most of my sugar daddy’s are Black because I can’t stand how annoying some White men are. Insufferable. No lips. I see why White women are crazy, tbh. I’d be crazy if I had to put up with them. YEAH, I SAID IT BITCH.

Wow I’m so sorry if this is ridiculous long and really randomly put together….. like I hope it makes sense. 😂😂😂

I’ve been following this blog for quit sometime and other black women on Tumblr who I support whole heartedly. But like I get this weird feeling that I don’t belong here??
I’m mixed. My mother is German and my father African American. Typical story. My dad met my mom in germany while he was stationed there. They fell in love, had me and my brother… and eventually we all moved to America since my dad’s duties were finished.

So in Germany I never felt different. Well what exactly do I mean different… I’m a person. That’s all I felt, I never thought color was a thing?? My German family is used to interracial babies.. my eldest aunt has a mixed child and they weren’t surprised about me or my brother. All accepted and loved. We were a city full of mixed ethnicities so I had no idea that I was different.

Till I came to America. It’s the first time I heard “what are you? ” hahaha.

“I’m a person?” I’d say confused.

“NO like.. what are you? Where are you from? Like what language are you speaking? Why is your mother white? Your brother so light?? What? your dad’s black??”

As a 10 year old I had no idea what to think. The black side of my family in North Carolina treated my brother and I differently than the other kids in our family. My mother had to smile through all the mean comments. My dad had to endure that he brought in white to the family.

Our family reunion? Holy fuck. What a nightmare. I was 11. I think I mostly block it all out because I just remember the stares. Which makes me think of the time I didn’t realize my grandma was taking me to a hair salon to give me a perm. They cut my hair (grandma used it for weave no joke.) And before the process started my mother rushed in, grabbed me, cursed my grandmother out and drove my back to my grandparents house crying.. she apparently couldn’t bare the thought that my gma wanted my curls gone.

Let’s fast forwarder a few years. No contact to the family. My dad’s retired. We move from base and end up on the bad side of town. I end up in a magnet school. 75% black. 10% Hispanic and the rest random mix (whites and Asians. ) I grew up in a open country.. and I’m glad. I accepted all for who they were so I ended up having a mix of friend. Some who didn’t come clear with each other because of the side of the town we were on. Gang activities. (Clear backpacks. Security checks. Metal detector..) all that fun stuff. But… I was still looked at weird. I was told often “I wouldn’t understand.” “Why are you even tiring? Don’t worry about it.” I felt secluded. “Why are you speaking so white? Just because you’re of some color remember you’re still white. ”

Couple years later we moved. Starting over again. Typical life of an army brat right… who needs friends as a kid. Anyway. Alabama. This school? The opposite. 70% white 20% black and the rest a mix. Annnnd it starts again..

“ Where are you from. German. Yeah right. But you’re black. Your mom’s white? How’d that happen. Well you definitely sound white (I am now 24 years old and still don’t get what the fuck that means)…”

And now the best part. I had to fill out my ethnicity on a school poll.. what stands there. Black. White. Hispanic. Asian/pacific islander.

No mixed. No interracial. No other origins????

I asked my teacher what I should do.

I kid you not. He says to me “cross what you feel closer to.”

Cross. What you. Feel closer to.

People. This statement. This statement will never leave me.

What I feel closer to. That’s saying I am not one person. I am two. Do you feel white or do you feel black? Are you closer to one than the Other?????

Thissss. I was so pissed. I was in the 9th grade. I made my own goddamn box and wrote “german American”

This led to a call to the counselors office. I remember it well. Mrs.anderson. a beautiful intelligent black woman, the only black woman in facility. She took me in. Told me needed to cross an actual option.

I said I can’t. “ I’ll cross two. But I can’t cross one. I am not one or the other. I am black and I am white. I am German and African American. I am not one or the other.” I stood my ground..

She smiled at me. Told me she understood.. but said that even in this time and age, biracial people aren’t normal. She made me rewrite a new one. Leaving the race blank. I told her to mark what she wanted because I couldn’t imagine lying to myself even if it was just a county poll to figure out the ethnicity rate in our schools.

Until I graduated high school I had my ups and downs with being mixed. Never feeling like I belonged some where.. put aside the few good friends I acquired throughout the years who didn’t care about it but liked me for me. But I still never felt right????

College I met other biracial and many black women. We became a great group of friends. The campus called us the United nations haha since we were just a group of different mixed nationalities and colors.

The point of this confession is.. I never truly felt I belonged. Anywhere. Till about college. It was there I accepted the reality that I might not be accepted for who I am in some places. That I “talk too white” or “have the black girl attitude.” Still to this day I don’t really understand it and I find it pretty rude to say to anyone..

I am black. I am white. I am me. I’ve read many confessions and posts on Tumblr and it makes me ashamed to see what biracial (mostly black/white) say and do.

I swear to you not all are like that. I seriously love all… the skin tone of a man doesn’t make me decide if I want him. I find all black men, mixed men, light skin, white, Asian attractive… fuck where the love falls why does it matter.

Black women aren’t “crazy. Hard headed. With just attitudes. ” NO. Damn. They are Strong.. amazing and inspiring.. I follow so many of you and feel that.

I grew up loving people for who they are not how they look. And I will continue to do so even if most don’t do it for me.

I’m happy this blog exists. You guys are inspirational and amazing.. don’t let any one tell you, you aren’t. This German afro American is behind you 100%. ♡ #onelove.

Muslim Women, Please Stop Marrying Crazy Men!

I start with the good.

I think it’s awesome we realize the value of marriage. I’m glad Muslim women are seriously searching for mates. That’s what we should be doing—it’s far better than the alternative—but we HAVE to be smart about it. These are our lives on the line. We are the ones with the wombs. We are the ones who take them into our bodies. There is a lot at stake. That’s why I make this plea: Muslim women, please stop marrying crazy men!

After hearing story after story about women who being deserted, women being abused (in various forms), women being cheated on (repeatedly), and women having their joy straight-up extinguished, I can’t stay silent any longer. No, I’m not blaming women for the deplorable actions of men—they’ll have to answer to Allah for their own deeds—but I am asking begging women to realize that not every person who calls themselves a Muslim is worthy of your hand.

I think Muslimah desperation has a lot to do with it. You may be wondering what Muslimah desperation is, but I’m certain you already know. If you’ve been Muslim longer than a month, you know. Certainly you’ve seen it. Maybe you’ve experienced it. But just to be sure we’re all on the same page, let me get a formal definition popping off.

I get it: no one wants to be lonely and we should hasten toward marriage, but that’s only after we’ve vetted a worthy mate. Therein lies the problem.

Muslimah mate selection

Yall know how we do. We’ll meet a brother, have a couple of supervised visits, start feeling butterflies, then make that speedy trip to the masjid for a quick nikkah. Keeping it Islamic, right? Wrong. Look at the example of Fatimah (ra). She didn’t “hasten toward marriage” when the first suitor came for her hand. She refused many though most of them had money and status. It wasn’t until the right man came, with proper character and a pure heart, that she agreed to marriage.

I know what you’re thinking, “But that was the Prophet’s daughter. She had a large selection and could afford to turn men down by the dozens. I’m over here struggling, trying to front like I’m not attracted to my non-Muslim coworker who keeps inviting me to lunch.” I hear you, sis.  It’s hard out here for a single Muslim woman, but we have to remember the point of marriage. It’s not JUST to be married, JUST to have a halal sex partner, JUST to have an excuse to get out of our parents’ houses. Marriage is about building—a family, a community, a legacy, a foundation for worship.  You can’t do with any ol’ guy.

And so when it comes to choosing someone to marry, we have to be patient and coherent enough to observe. A lot of times, we get caught up in the surface (lush beard, kufi on head, sajdah mark, rolled up pants, etc.). Not knocking any of that, but please know the bearded brother with the dhkir beads could cheat on you entertain potential co-wives on your honeymoon… It happens. I’m not saying any of this to vilify men who “look the part.” All I’m saying is this: do your due diligence, do not rush, don’t allow anyone to pressure you (including yourself and your parents), and watch for signs!  

Signs that you may be about to marry a crazy man

Sometimes men present themselves to be one thing and then turn out to be another. Other times, though, they show us straight out  who they are and we still marry them. Muslimah desperation strikes again. Here are some signs you might be about to make a bad choice.

  • Marrying someone you never met:

Sisters get into this situation when they hear there is a good brother in X state who is looking for a wife. He’s very religious and doesn’t want to waste any time in getting married. He’s Muslim, you’re Muslim, so the only halal option is to get married over the phone and then get to know each other after. Though it is always possible that the brother could turn out to be the man or your dreams, chances are slim… like, really, really slim. 

  • Marrying someone who’s been divorced many times (often with very short-lived marriages):

Some brothers have no interest in building. They only want a few months of sex. Of course, they don’t tell the women that. The wives find out after they realize they’ve been lured into an empty marriage.  

  • Marrying someone who has no job and is not at all bothered by his lack of employment: 

To be clear, I’m not talking about a hard-working brother who is between jobs. I mean the guy who is GOOD not working. He lives with his parents or someone else and is quick to utter vague statements like, “Allah will provide” when you question him about how he’ll provide for his family.

  • Marrying someone in the “street pharmaceuticals” industry:

*Sigh* I wish I were making this up, but wallahi it is an issue. There are Muslim men who refuse to get a legitimate job because, and I quote, “I don’t want to work for the kuffar.” So instead of finding a Muslim company to work for or starting a halal business, they choose to sell drugs.

  • Marrying someone who doesn’t seem all that happy to marry you:

Marriage doesn’t get easier after the wedding; it gets harder. So if he seems uninterested/distracted/not that into you from the start, it will only get worse. Don’t settle for a man just because he is willing to marry you. He should be overjoyed, happy you chose him!

  • Marrying someone who has a markedly different interpretation of Islam:

This doesn’t necessarily mean he is crazy, but it may be the cause of a lot of frustration, assumptions and miscommunication that could leave YOU feeling crazy. It’s easy to assume all Muslims believe the same thing, but one person’s understanding may be very different from your own. If you don’t discuss these things before marriage, you won’t know.

  • Becoming a co-wife without first meeting the existing wife:

Who knows better of a man’s character than his wife? If you are open to being a co-wife, would it not make sense that you talk to the woman you’ll be sharing a husband with? If he is not open to this, he’s suspect. It is not at all unreasonable for you to expect an introduction. You need to hear what she has to say and gauge whether or not she is open to your presence. If she isn’t, think long and hard about entering into a marriage that may be full of drama.

  • Marrying a hijab nazi:

Before things get misconstrued, let me explain what a hijab nazi is not. A man who wants his wife to wear hijab isn’t a hijab nazi. A man who wants his wife to dress modestly isn’t a hijab nazi. That’s expected. A hijab nazi is a man who is harsh and overly critical of women’s clothing—even when they are already dressed properly. For example, a man who gets upset with his wife because she wore a (perfectly modest) red dress instead of one that is black or storm cloud gray is a hijab nazi. There is no prohibition against color. 

Narrated Anas bin Malik that he had seen Um Kulthum, the daughter of Allah’s Apostle, wearing a red silk garment. (Buhkari ,7.733)

  • Marrying a jerk:

Ladies, please know that a man who doesn’t appear to be kind, loving, thoughtful and compassionate toward others will not be kind, loving, thoughtful or compassionate toward you. Sometimes women will overlook a man’s sourpuss demeanor because he prays frequently and visits the masjid often. Of course these are wonderful qualities, but if the peace and contentment those things should bring aren’t evident in his behavior, you have to question his sincerity. Consider the following Bukhari hadith (2038): Anas, who was his [Prophet Muhammad’s] helper, said: “I served Allah’s Messenger for ten years and he never said to me, ‘Shame’ or ‘Why did you do such-and-such a thing?’ or ‘Why did you not do such-and-such a thing?’” If the beloved prophet was this kind to his helpers, imagine the way he treated his wives. That is the behavior you should seek in a husband. Until you find that, do not marry. Yes, that’s easier said that done, but it is much better for your heart and soul in the long run. 

Keeping Muslimah desperation at bay

If we are to avoid marrying crazy men, we have to keep our yearnings and desires in check. That’s hard to do when your friends are all married, sex is everywhere, and sensible mates seem to be nowhere. I see the dilemma, but I also see the dilemma of pained women who are in tortured marriages with men who turned out to be nothing like they had assumed. And when many of them look back, they can admit that they didn’t think things through clearly. That’s all I want: clear minds and well-thought-out decisions. 

I know what it’s like to want to be married and not have anyone (worthwhile) to marry, but you have to believe that Allah will bless you with a mate. Don’t ever allow yourself to despair and think, “There are no good men left.” The moment you concede to that pseudo-fact, you begin to attract the very energy you believe exists. If you exist and you are a good woman, it shouldn’t be hard to believe that a man exists who is also good. You MUST believe in the possibility of happiness. If not, what are you implying of your Lord who put within you the very desire you seek to fill? Did He not create this world, this sun, this continually expanding universe? Did he not put air in your lungs and life in your heart? Do you honestly think it’s too much for Him to put a good man in your life? Surely, you don’t believe that. 

All my exes have been crazy. It’s just one crazy bitch after another. Crazy sluts. Crazy whores. You fucking whore. You crazy fucking whore. They’re all crazy fucking whores. They all drive me crazy. But baby. Baby. Baby. I’m crazy. For you.

I do a quick search online on women and mental illness and get hundreds of hits. Women Sent To Asylums For Post-Natal Depression. “Crazy” Women Killed In Salem Witch Trials. How “Craziness” Is Used To Keep Women Compliant.“ "Crazy Women. Why Men Think Women Are Crazy. Why Are Women So Crazy? TAKE THE TEST: Are YOU Crazy?

I touch my cheek. Gently. Self-consciously. Feeling at the skin that has healed over from many self-inflicted punches. I think about the dreams I have had since I was fifteen. Dreams of saying how I feel. Dreams of telling the truth. Dreams of my emotions bubbling over in public. Dreams where I am carted away, as everyone I know looks the other way, not wanting to make eye contact with the crazy girl. 

I think of these dreams which have kept me from speaking to doctors about any thoughts of depression. To counselors. To my family. To friends. I think of the men who have called me crazy when I spoke against them. I think of being in a group of friends and someone saying something someone does not like and being called crazy. You like that band? What, are you crazy? You really believe that? You’re crazy!! I think of how we invalidate each other with craziness. How we reduce each other to a word. And how throughout history, women have been reduced to crazy simply by expressing that they have emotions. 

I wonder what would get me sent to an institution if I was living in the Victorian era. Would it be anxiety? Depression? Infidelity? Unhappiness in marriage? Speaking too loudly one time? 

Crazy is a word of reduction. Of differentiation. Of categorizing persons into other. Of shaming. Of silencing. It further stigmatizes mental illness, and keeps those who suffer from it from seeking help. And it keeps women compliant and silent. Scared to speak up. Scared to vocalize their opinions or suffering. Why would they? They’re just crazy. Crazy crazy crazy.

But I am not out-of-control for my emotions. I am not insane for possessing opinions which do not match up with yours. I am not any less for suffering from a mental deficiency which make it difficult to cope. I am not one-word. One-term. One-sentence. 

In the 5th Century, Hippocrates coined the term female hysteria, to describe the abnormal movements in a female’s womb. Side effects of this included sexual desire. Lustful thoughts. Uncontrollable emotions. And then the unmentioned side effects: opinions which do not match up with ours. Failure to comply. Failure to be silent. Dissatisfaction with being controlled. 

In Salem, Massachusetts in 1692, women were bound at the hands and feet, with rocks attached, and thrown into water to determine whether or not they were witches. On the chance that they did not drown, they were declared a witch, and then executed by another means: Lynching. Poison. Burning at the stake.

In my womb I feel a fire growing, stoked over and over again by spittings of crazy. I open my mouth to contest this and wells of water pour out. Witch water. Woman water. In my dreams Hippocrates rises from the dead to send me to a mental institution. My diagnosis: woman.

—  The Myth of Crazy, Lora Mathis
'Avengers: Age of Ultron': Chris Evans wonders … Is Captain America a virgin?

EW: I feel like Cap is the noblest of all the characters. He’s the only one who knows what it’s like to be powerless. To be on the other side of fear.

Evans: He does have a healthy understanding of what it feels like to be powerless, to be the victim. But he also has a healthy understanding of what it is to be a soldier. I think anytime you meet anyone that’s been in the military, when you fight alongside someone they become a brother. I think in a weird way he looks at his Avengers as his family at this point.

EW: Is family what he wants? A bond with a fellow fighter?

Evans: It’s certainly what he wants, but Cap puts what he wants last. That’s his M.O. And I think for so long he just refuses to bleed on people. So it’s hard to explore a guy who doesn’t want to make waves with his own personal conflict. He’s always trying to help the greater good.

EW: Does that ever change?

Evans: That’s why it’s kind of exciting to look forward to Cap 3. I think we really scratched the surface on something great and I think there’s just so much to explore. Not just with the evolution of myself and [Anthony] Mackie’s character, but the reconnection with Bucky, and ultimately a relationship with a woman.

I hate it how women aren’t supposed to talk about periods. I hate the stigma around periods. I’m sick of my pain and discomfort being used as a punchline, only worth talking about if it can be used as a joke. I wanna be open goddammit, I want it to be common knowledge as to to what periods are like especially periods for women with medical conditions such as pcos, endo or anaemia. There is so much I had to learn on my own because it’s not the ‘done thing’ to talk about or ‘nobody wants to hear about it’ women are struggling because people would rather them suffer in silence than be frank and maybe gross a few weak minded people out. Periods are difficult, they are. They should be taken seriously. They’re painful and your body does things that you don’t always understand. Why wasn’t I told that periods would flare up my IBS? It’s extremely common, even women without IBS suffer from sudden bowel movements on their periods, why weren’t we told? Why wasn’t I told my appetite would increase so much and that it was ok? Why didn’t anyone explain that your body needs the extra calories and nutrition while you menstruate? Why wasn’t it made clear how difficult periods can be for women with depression? Mood swings during periods are always shrugged off as a ‘bitches be crazy’ thing but why don’t they warn women suffering with depression how genuinelyhard it can be when you think you’re recovering and then you relapse back into suicidal feelings?? Why don’t they tell you how much more painful it is for women who suffer with blood clots?? Or what it feels like when a cycst on your ovary bursts?? Why didn’t they warn us about the migraines and the painful lumps in our breast (which btw has resulted in 4 of my friends thinking they had breast cancer because they weren’t aware that it’s a normal thing to happen during period) Why don’t they tell you about ovulation pain and white marks in your underwear? Or even what it’s like when you lose your period? I’m just sick of never having my pain taken seriously, I know periods affect every women differently but why do they only tell you the bare minimum, why are there so many weird euphemisms for periods? Why didn’t anyone tell me that you don’t pee out of your vagina??? I learnt that shit on OITNB and I’m a grown ass adult!! Why is it a rarity if a guy is sympathetic and offers to buy sanitary products for a women instead of the norm?? If your friend split open their knee and needed and a plaster would you cringe to buy it for them? Why are people just goddamn mean about periods? Sanitary companies always make you feel like your periods are dirty and smelly and gross and weight loss companies take advantage of women who suffer from menstrual bloat and drug companies will charge more for special ‘period painkillers’ even though they have the exact same ingredients as the normal kind. Idk I know this is long and I’m ranting again but it just makes me sad, why be so cruel to women about something that is out of their control??

I was a pretty child.

At the age of 4, while on vacation with my family, I was swimming in a kiddie pool when a man sat by the edge and watched me. My mom immediately went over and he told her how beautiful I was, how someday I would be a gorgeous woman. My mom took me out of the pool right away.  

At the age of 5, my mother was approached about putting me in beauty pageants. She asked if I wanted to do it and I said no. I wasn’t comfortable with being the center of attention, and I was even more fearful of failing. At beauty. I was 5.

At the age of 8, I overheard my parents talking about a colleague of my father’s, who passed me as I was waiting for my bus in the morning and told my father to “lock me up” away from all of the boys. That scared me.

I began overeating and gaining weight then. I look back and wonder if that was a defense mechanism, that maybe I would be less of a target if I gained weight.  

At the age of 11, I started developing, so quickly that two boys followed me around, taunting me about stuffing my bra. Other boys felt it was okay to ask me how big they were or stare.

At the age of 12, I wore clothes that were way too large for me, even though I was bigger than I wanted to be. Big t-shirts hid my breasts. But they didn’t stop the taunting. 

At the age of 13, I had a boyfriend. He told everyone I promised to show him my infamous breasts after a few months, then sleep with him on our year anniversary. I never said anything like that. But I questioned myself, wondering if I said anything that could have been misunderstood. I blamed myself for those rumors.

At the age of 14, boys really only spoke to me about my breasts or taunted me for my size. I started giving it back to them. That was when a boy punched me in the face for defending myself.

At the age of 15, I had enough of the bullying about my weight, so I started dieting and working out. I also had a crush on a boy and thought he would actually like me if I was skinny. I lost 50 pounds. 

Maybe I was pretty again, I thought. Maybe. But it didn’t help anything.

At the age of 16, I dreaded family events because my aunt’s creepy new husband would leer at me and make comments about my weight. “Stick out your tongue,” he’d say. “Look, you’re a zipper.” He’d grill me about my diet. I had to give him weight updates every time I saw him. 

At the age of 17, I started dating an older boy. I thought my problems with high school boys would disappear. A year into our relationship, he told me that he would have broken up with me if I hadn’t slept with him. He threatened to kill me. I stayed with him even longer, because he told me I was pretty and I thought he was nice.

At the age of 18, I went to college. I thought my problems with immature boys would be over. One night around midnight, I heard knocking on the main door outside of my dorm. I went out in my pajamas to open the door to let them in. They followed me to my door and called me fat and ugly. I told myself I shouldn’t have let them in.

In my 20′s, I put up a wall. I gained all of the weight back, then some. The few guys who were persistent enough to get through it were mostly jerks. I was told that I was cold, that my long streak of having no serious boyfriend was because I didn’t put myself out there. I wasn’t available to them.

At the age of 26, I met my now-husband, far away from my home. He was the first male outside of my dad who I ever felt truly safe with. He was also the first man who didn’t make me feel objectified in some way. He barely comments on how I look, nor does he comment on how other women look. He doesn’t care when I don’t shave my legs or wear old comfy clothes around the house. He laughs when I make a joke or act silly. He’s never called me crazy when I get emotional. We are best friends. 

But at the age of 32, I still question my own worth because my husband doesn’t see me as an object. Does he think I am attractive if he doesn’t tell me every day? Does he really love me or is he just in this for something? I question it, because my whole life, I was told either by action or by words that I was a commodity to men. 

The sad thing is that everything I mentioned is the result of a privileged life. It is minor, the life of a middle class white woman who hasn’t experienced a fraction of the shit that other women have faced. That’s why I get furious when men pull out the “not all men” argument because ALL women have at some point been a victim to men. Even those of us who haven’t had to deal with the heaviest burdens have been victimized in some way. 

Why is this coming out today? It’s just something I’ve been thinking about since summer school last week, when I started noticing the male students making obscene gestures behind my back. I don’t think they were about me, but they nonetheless make me really uncomfortable. And it puts me right into that mindset of never feeling safe, that familiar pit in my stomach knowing that males think they have some power over me. When I confronted them about it, they gaslighted me. “What are you talking about, miss? You’re crazy.” 

I’m not crazy. This is all too familiar to me. It’s too familiar to every woman out there, in some way or another. This is why I advocate for women. We’re not crazy. We’re just sick of the shit.

There’s always a female audience. But we will only go if they make movies for us because we’re just too busy. It makes me crazy when people ask why women don’t go to the movies. Number one, there are no movies for us and, number two, we have jobs and families. I never get out of the house with two little kids. If I go, I want to know it really is something for me. I want it to be relevant to me. - Julianne Moore