why tumblr why!

I love how everyone in this fandom is so talented. Like you’d be having a bad day and you can just come to tumblr and you’d see so many cool edits and badass drawings and read so many sweet fanfics and your day would become a lil bit better

Meanwhile….. my contribution to the fandom:

And now i do it to myself all over again. i dig my nails into somebody else’s palms hoping it won’t hurt them. i’m at the brink of a well and i know there are demons inside waiting silently disguised as saints and they’ll take my breath away then drag me by my feet inside and i’ll go in just as silently, hoping i’ll find a safe haven inside.

The wolves have come barking at my door asking for meat that i don’t think belongs to me. isn’t love just another form of self harm? isn’t it all i’ve ever done? hoped for something better to happen to me this time around?

but love is also being drunk at 1 am alone in your apartment watching horror movies and realizing that the dead body still breathes and nonono don’t go inside the room there’s a ghost in there, it’s obvious! That’s what it feels like when you tell me things i’ve heard from the mouths of fifty other guys, like children daring each other to ring the bell of a haunted house. 

and love is also binge eating nachos without the sauce and listening to soft, indian soul music ‘cause we’re too scared to go outside 

you’re not as broken as me. 

why are you doing this to yourself?

don’t walk into the haunted house if you’ve always lived in a palace on the clouds.

I’ve got a cocktail in my palms each night,
throwing it back with nothing but water 
and the pills keep getting smaller

fingers fidgeting around less and less,
never missing one as an ingredient 
is checked off the list 

the worst are those for impulse control
because I’ve never been attention deficient 
but I’ve always like the copper aftertaste 

that comes from a good thrill, the up-click
of a coaster, 95 mph, drop drop drop
they tried to dull the rush, the wind, the whir 

I hate not having feeling, hate numb
for all I talk of hating to have too much
I would rather feel the world than feel failing

freeing, fidgeting, fleeting, falling
let’s ween off of a low dose without supervision 
because we are young and think we know better

—  Take 20mg 2 Times a Day, 3 refills before May 2014 || O.L.

there is no shame in falling,

despite what they tell you.

the fall will hurt,

your heart will break,

for being cast out,

for thinking differently.

hellfire will burn,

but their words will be acid,

they will make you the villain.

embrace it.

you, the prodigal,

fall. fall again.

keep falling.

have you landed yet?

no one knows,

not you, not i,

certainly not them.

there was no shame in devotion,

until they made it so.

there was no shame in falling–

until they made it so.

advice from the devil (to his younger self) || j.s.

Annnd with that – bye people! I’m going to ignore all of my social media until I can watch the Season 3 (when? Boh. I have Netflix, but, (un)funny thing in Italy it isn’t watchable, or I find a why to make the whole VPN thing work or — errrrr I have to find “something” online. Yeah, something.)

So, I know I have some ask in my inbox to reply, same for the chat, but I’m going to take care of those after this social isn’t a spoiler-minefield anymore. But feel free to write! I’m just going to read (and reply) after a while.