why the microwave is so dangerous

Home Alone {Sentence Starters}
  • "This is it! Don't get scared now!"
  • "Why the hell did you take your shoes off?"
  • "I think we're getting scammed by a kindergartener."
  • "You're not at all worried that something might happen to ____?"
  • "Why the hell are you dressed like a chicken?"
  • "When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone."
  • "Nothing even remotely dangerous will ever happen. Period."
  • "This house is so full of people it makes me sick."
  • "I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!"
  • "Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here."
  • "No offense, aren't you too old to be afraid?"
  • "And now that I'm this close, you're telling me it's hopeless?"
  • "Where are you, you little CREEP?"
  • "Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale."
  • "A lot of stuff has been said about me. None of it's true."
  • "You can be too old for a lot of things, but you're never too old to be afraid."
  • "This is my house, I have to defend it."
  • "Are you afraid? C'mon, get out here."
  • "You know anytime you see me you can always say hello, you don't have to be afraid."
  • "Look, stop, stop! What is the matter with you?"
  • "What's so funny? What are you laughing at?"
  • "I don't know how to pack a suit case. I've never done this once in my whole life."
  • "I don't want to see you again for the rest of the night."
  • "What's wrong with you? Why do you do that? I told you not to do it."
  • "See, I told you something was wrong!"
  • "I said I'm not afraid any more! Do you hear me? I'm not afraid any more!"

i don’t get y’all tryin to stop your microwave at 0:01 left at night when everyone is sleeping.  like y’all playing a fucking dangerous game flirting with death.  just add another fucking minute to your food and end it at 1:00 ffs why are you making your life so hard.

When M was 2 years old, he was fascinated with our front load washing machine.  He loved to make the tumbler spin, and naturally, he wanted to get in there and see how it worked.  So one day, we decided to let him.  He put one knee in and when he tried the second, the tumbler spun under his weight and he wound up on his back in the washing machine.  

We gave him a minute to process what happened before helping him out & my husband snapped a picture.  He posted it to Facebook with the caption, “Some lessons you just have to learn for yourself.”

It caused a bit of an uproar.  Other parents castigated us for letting him do something so dangerous.  Why weren’t we watching him!?  Didn’t we know that he could die doing that!?

M learned from that experience and never tried to get in it again.  And now, at almost 6, he does his own laundry.  Loads it, adjusts the settings and temperature, pours in the detergent, the whole thing.  He has also used the microwave, the stove and the oven (with supervision, of course).

Yesterday, J (4 years old next month) vacuumed our entire area rug by himself.  When he was done, he unplugged the vacuum and wrapped up the cord perfectly.  It was a really proud moment for him.  And I couldn’t even share it because wires!  Electricity!

This summer, I will be teaching M to make his own scrambled eggs.  He already knows how to crack and whisk the eggs.  I am going to teach him how to turn on the stove.  He will be six years old.  My time with him is already 1/3 of the way over.  I know my son, he is ready.  I’m so tired of being treated as though I am a lazy or negligent mother for providing my children with these opportunities.

Rachel and Matt- Dangerous

Aug. 2-8-15 By Suzan Georges, BookBuff

Rachel knew that getting married was dangerous. Her sister warned her, her director warned her, her husband even warned her. It’s just that it is really hard to see the danger in being married when her husband is staring with his chin to the ground and eyes as wide as landing strips.

“Pregnant?” He whispers.

She nods.

“And- and it’s mine?”

Rachel rolls her eyes and deadpans, “No, Mathew, it’s Joe’s. Yes, I’m positive it’s ours.”

He runs his hand down his face and Rachel is thankful to hear him let go of the breath (mostly to know that he’s actually breathing). He sits back in his chair from across their dining table. Their food getting colder by the seconds of silence.

Silence. Rachel grew up working in silence. She no longer drowns in it, but works with it. She watches as his eyes look down, past the table. Realizing that he is looking at where her stomach would be if the table wasn’t there, she snaps her fingers over her plate.

“It’s not there right now!” She hisses. For such a skilled spy, Mathew Morgan can loose his marbles at the simple thinking of human reproduction.

“Don’t call it that.” He doesn’t look at her, but at the wall to his left.

“What?”

“Don’t call it- our child- an ‘It.’”

“But you just did.” Seeing the grin on Rachel’s face breaks a lot of the rapid thoughts in Matthew’s head. He smiles back.

“You just called it ‘ours.’” Rachel’s voice is quiet.

“You said it first.” Matt feels comfortable with the child-like tease, but the teasing stops there because Rachel nods. She had said that. Instead of saying it was his, she promised it was theirs.

“Having a kid is dangerous.” Rachel is surprised to hear his voice quiet now, too.  “You- Are you sure about…”

Rachel nods again.

Matthew sits up straighter, looking more like a man taking on a mission, than the startled man he was a minute ago.

“Then so am I.”

______________________________________________________________________

Rachel knew that having a kid was dangerous. Abby warned her of it, Joe warned them of it- hell, her husband warned her of it.

But why the fuck had no one warned her that raising a child is so difficult?

Rachel is tired. She is fat, and currently on maternity league with work. But most of all, Cammie will not stop crying. It’s as if her child knows that her father isn’t home, but on a dangerous mission in Buenos Aires with her sister and some other agent (that keeps pissing him off so much that Matt has to rant every time he calls her).

She has tried feeding her. Her daughter’s diaper is as clean as the laboratories at Gallagher. Rachel is fairly certain that Cammie has the lungs of her father because Rachel’s throat is raw from singing lullabies over and over again.

Rachel takes Cammie from cradling in her arms to sitting her head against her shoulder. The cries are louder now, but she whispers in her daughter’s ears.

Hush little baby, don’t say a word

Daddy’s gonna buy you a mocking bird.

And if that mocking bird doesn’t sing,

Daddy’s gonna buy you a diamond ring.”

But then the little devil burps.

And all is silent.

Rachel almost curses, because of course she would forget to check is she needed to burp- Matt always took Cammie after she fed her to burp her. On the other hand, her child is silent, and her ears are ringing with the familiar feel of secrets in the dark. In another few minutes, Rachel gets Cammie asleep and in her crib. She looks at the clock on her bedside table. Only two more hours until Matt’s next check in with Langley. Rachel goes to bed only to be woken up an hour later to change Cammie’s diaper.

_______________________________________________________________________

Being married isn’t dangerous itself.

Rachel never felt in danger when Matt held her, or when he kissed her on the forehead or on the nose. She thought she would never feel in danger again when she was around him.

The dangerous thing about being married to a spy is that the pain of loosing Matthew Morgan hurt so much it nearly killed her.

The ring on her hand burned her skin. Tears would not stop. Abby had taken the month off to help, but her attempts were in vain.

Rachel finds herself loitering closer to the kitchen. She eyes the knives and cleaning supplies. Her head gives rapid instructions on which ones would be so poisonous, it wouldn’t hurt. A train of thought in the back of her mind reminds her that she owns a range of weapons, from guns to rope. She can’t look outside without thinking that the tree in front has a branch at her perfect height.

It would be so easy…

“Mom! Aunt Abby is saying that your cooking is worse than-“

“Hey! You swore to not-“

“I’m a really good liar!” Cammie giggles at Abby’s shock and runs away before Abby can go after her.

She doesn’t, but instead walks toward the kitchen counter, right next to Rachel. She has a smile and tightens her ponytail, and sighs. “That little squirt. Last time I give her some candy.”

Rachel snaps out of her depression. “You gave her candy? She already has two cavities!”

“What can I say? She’s persuasive!” Rachel laughs at her sister, and thinks that maybe her being close isn’t an act in vain after all.

She knew that getting married was dangerous. The pain brought her to her low lately, but she had so many reasons to stay alive.

Someone had to burn the microwave popcorn on movie nights.

Someone had to take that job at Gallagher.

Someone had to be there for Cammie.

______________________________________________________________________

Rachel knows that what she does is dangerous. She knew that what Matt did was dangerous. Rachel knows what Cammie wants to do is dangerous.

The reason why her life is dangerous is because the emotional pain is enough to kill someone. The fear can help in a mission, but too much of it can get you killed.

So Rachel tries to think of how she knew this was coming, how she should not be surprised as she holds her daughters body against her.

Cammie is shot. Rachel said yes. The Circle was over. The rain is lightening up. Cammie is shot.

Loving is dangerous to Rachel. It was so dangerous it got her husband killed, her only daughter shot.

Love brought her out of her worst moments, but got her there too.

_______________________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: HAPPY #gallaghergirlsshipweek ! First of many! Please write to me reviews- I’d love to hear them! This is my first (published) fanfiction for this series!