She knew that he didn’t deserve her. She knew that he always chose the girl that would drive him crazy for a couple months until he called a quits. She knew that he’d always answer her calls even if it was two in the morning. She knew he’d always meet her in the same spot at three in the afternoon and smoke cigarettes with her even though he stopped smoking months ago. She knew he’d listen to her talk about boys stepping all over her and kiss her to make her forget it. She knew she didn’t need that in her life, but in his eyes she knew that there was a love that he covered with a pillow until it stopped moving. She swears they can get it back. She keeps fighting because she doesn’t deserve him either, but she wants to. How can you blame her for wanting him so bad if she smiles uncontrollably just from hearing his voice?
You ran away with Carol and build yourself a new home outside of the Kingdom. When you start doubting your decision, fate comes knocking at your door…
word count: 2146
approximated reading time: 11 minutes
I didn’t want to go back. I had promised myself to stay out of all this, to keep to myself and stay human. I had lost grip of what others might have called humanity and I wasn’t willing to let go of it completely. I had seen what it did to people… Losing your humanity was like.. losing yourself. I couldn’t let that happen and more importantly I couldn’t let the others watch it happen. I couldn’t do that to Daryl. Knowing him he would have done anything to stop me, to bring me back and even though I knew it was wrong to leave him behind like that I had to do it. I had to in order to protect them. Or so I kept telling myself while I sat in front of the fire eating what little food I had left. Ezekiel came over every now and then even though I had told them not to. He brought food with him every time and I would lie if I said I wasn’t grateful for it. Still, there was one thing I couldn’t deny: I was longing for Daryl. Leaving him behind hasn’t been easy but staying away from him was even harder. Especially these days… My hands wandered down to my belly. It wasn’t just me anymore and wouldn’t it be unfair to keep this away from him? Or.. maybe it was the right thing to keep this away from him. He would dash out and fight Negan head on if he knew about the life growing inside of me, wouldn’t he?! That’s who he was, that’s whom I fell in love with… I sighed deeply, unsure what to do. Was there a right thing to do? And if there was… what the hell was ‘the right thing’?! A knock from the door brought me back to my senses. I stood up and straightened my clothes before I went to open the door expecting Ezekiel to be my guest. I expected his shy smile, explaining that he didn’t mean to bother me, that he happened to be around and decided to at least knock. When I opened the door I was surprised to see Morgan standing in front of it. “Morgan?” I smiled at him. “What are you doing here?” “I’m sorry to bother you… I just thought you’d like some company.” “I told you, I don’t want to see anyone…” “I know and I didn’t mean to bother you, as I said. It’s just…” I sighed deeply. “What is it? Did Ezekiel send you? I’m not coming back to the Kingdom. I already told him….” I looked down the street to Carol’s cabin. “And I’m not convincing Carol to get back to him either. We’re not some happy little family anymore.”
“Stiles,” Erica chimes brightly, with a sharp edge to her red-painted grin that makes him feel a prickle of concern. This was a catwoman here, he could tell. “We’ve been telling Derek that he can’t expect to go through his whole life wearing a cap and a basic t-shirt like a classic pro-sport cliché. What do you think?”
Instead of answering right away, he turns to Derek on his right and tries to quickly look him over, but then he sees the way Derek’s tan forearms have veins and the baby blue shirt stands out against his skin. The cap is showing his big ears and highlights his dark eyelashes under the hood and so to him, he’s pretty sure the guy is too fucking beautiful. He swallows quickly and looks back to both of them, quickly answering, “He looks fine.”
“…I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with you over the past year and I was devastated when you left with Cora, because I didn’t think you were ever going to come back—I mean why should you?! But you came for me when I needed someone so badly, and you were so nice to me, and I didn’t plan to kiss you and I panicked, and… And then I realized way, way later, that you kissed me back—why did you do that?” “When I said I had people here that I wanted more than my sister, I was talking about you…“
“I thought we could be friends,” Derek offers, to which Stiles gets an odd smile on his face.
“Friends,” he repeats, an odd inflection.
Stiles laughs, just barely. It’s more of an exhalation of breath than it is genuine mirth or anything else, and then he smiles. “I’m pretty good at friends,” he says with a tilt to his head, and Derek clears his throat and has to look away.
01. I can get a little drunk, I get into all the don'ts, but on good days I am charming as fuck / 02. some days I try hard to watch my mouth, to say the right things, but the wrong just slip right out / 03. everybody’s doing it so why the hell should I / 04. so come back when I’m good and old, I got drinks to drink, and men to hold, I got good things to do with my life / 05. I had disengaged to avoid being totaled, I would run away and say good riddance, soon enough, I had grown disgusted by your small-minded ceiling, imagine myself bolting had not been difficult / 06. who was the genius that brought me to life? well you’re such a hypocrite, to think me so unwise, I’m just trying to see the world through my own eyes / 07. I was used to standing in the shadow of a damaged heart, learning all I know now, losing all I did, I never used to feel like I’d be standing so far ahead / 08. I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here / 09. everybody’s hurting, there’s nothing more human than that, see the pieces of heart’s missing, but watch how the light fills the cracks