why on earth would you do this i wanna die

I’ve heard my fair share of scumbags spout the very overused ‘Better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven’ quote at me as a way to justify their vile ways. Now, I’m not exactly what you’d call the bookish sort but I’m preeetty sure that quote only applies to Lucifer himself.

Besides! We’re all here on earth. None of this blah blah in Heaven, do whatever in Hell crap applies here! You can’t just call a crappy place Hell because it’s sucks, or a good place Heaven because you’re happy there! It cheapens the whole deal.

Why would I wanna die and go to Paradise when I could just take a trip to Cancun. Or the spa. Or that really good Chinese buffet down the street? Why would I be afraid of fire and brimstone when I’m standing on the same hunk of rock Gitmo and the DMV also happens to be situated on?

It doesn’t make any sense.