why oh why is he this way

anonymous asked:

Yesterday my boss called and asked why I'd done the math a certain way in a team project. It didn't make any sense to him. I told him that he'd been the one who chose to do it that way months ago, then explained to him why it made sense. He said nothing, but spent the next 10 minutes muttering to himself as he pulled up old files and did math. Then he went "Oh, I got it!" and explained to me what I had just explained to him. So weird. Later I realized this happens to women all the time though.

Yeah, and much worse, but also yeah.

Calling a POT First.

Today we’re in a world of instant messaging, texting, “sliding into a DM” but have you ever thought about calling them, having a conversation? I usually don’t but for some reason I felt compelled to and boy, I’m sure glad I did. 

I had been on and off texting this investment banker who claims he makes over a million; so of course my interest is sparked. Over text he asked my why I liked SA and I replied, “It’s a fun way of dating without the emotional attachment and drama involved. “ (I think that’s what I said, damn it. I deleted the whole conversation) Regardless, he was quite taken back by my answer. “You don’t like commitment?!” Oh, dear. This guy wants a relationship, not an arrangement.  We stopped talking for a couple days but still interested, I gave him a call. 

The investment banker told me why he liked SA. He had a girl who loved being his plus one at events, going to dinners and she didn’t want him to pay… blah, blah, blah BUT then his tone changed when it came to money. 

“If I’m fucking paying for it, you can shut the fuck up” 
“I had girls ask me for $500 to go to dinner, I said, ‘Are you fucking high?”

Wow. Did he really just say that? S-A-L-T.

Ladies, this man is entitled and rude. He has ZERO respect for a woman whatsoever. There are SO many ways to state your opinion without being a dick. Nor does he want to pay up. 

Here’s why calling is handy :

1) See if the conversation flows.
If it doesn’t on the phone, it may not in person. You can avoid how boring he is prior to going out with him. If it does, it may make the date better and more relaxed. It’s a great way to show off your fun and bubbly personality. 

2) Responses and Tones. 
I’m glad I called this guy because I realized prior to going out with him how he responded negatively. I got to avoid a horrible and pointless non paid date. Thank the heavens. His tone was HORRIBLE, nothing on text could have conveyed that. 

3) Most SDs are impressed. 
“Wow, I was actually really impressed that you called. No one ever does anymore” 
Ladies, you’re dealing with men who never had cell phones or internet until now. They LIKE conversation and getting to know someone. If you can call and hold a conversation, you just proved to them that you are way beyond your years and mature for your age and they LOVE that. 

Hope this helps. xoxoxo
-Samantha N.B. (sbmisstaylor) 

.  

ok lol kuroo adores bokuto for sure but i don’t see why people write him as utterly on board with bokuto’s shit all the time while akaashi is frustrated and annoyed

whenever we see kuroo talking about bokuto off screen he’s almost always talking about how annoying he is. i mean, we see him playing along and having fun and it’s clear he fucking adores bokuto but still, he’s always like “what an idiot” from afar. and he thinks it’s hiliarious

on the other hand the second anyone talks to akaashi about bokuto while bokuto’s not present he’s all like “lol yes our ace who is amazing and reliable and what a good guy have i told you how wonderful he is i mean sure he has his flaws but wow what a guy.” i mean, akaashi hardly ever says anything positive about bokuto to his face but behind his back i don’t think i can recall akaashi saying a single bad thing about him without at the very least saying it’s not a big deal given what’s good about him

so yes. kuroo loves his idiot friend, akaashi is in deep

I finally watched the Bronze early yesterday and right after I knew I had to draw my favorite asshole

yesterday my lyft driver had a gps that read off directions in what was obviously some sort of specific customized voice

so i was like ‘hey, why does this sound familiar?’

and he was like ‘oh i downloaded it special. it’s colonel sanders.’

never in my life had a stranger thrown me such a goddamn conversational curveball. 

was this an official branded piece of content marketing by kfc? why? why would you go to the trouble of auditioning and hiring a voice actor to impersonate your now-dead founder guiding people onto the i-95, like the world’s least interesting benevolent spirit? colonel sanders was a real dude who is now dead; that is a flipping weird thing for a company to spend money on. is this some misguided corporate attempt to try to revamp his image, like ‘yeah he was a plantation-y southern gentleman and symbolically there’s no way it’s not at least a little racist to glorify him but look…he did just help you get to ikea’

on the other hand, if it’s not affiliated with the company that raises SO MANY MORE questions, like who did this? does colonel sanders have some sort of underground fan community? was there a forum somewhere on the internet where colonel sanders die-hards were all wistfully expressing their longing to have that fried chicken guy’s voice drawling in their ear during long road trips and then finally one lone man stepped forward to fill that gap with a microphone, a dream, and a sub-par fake southern accent

what i said was, ‘…huh’

‘i had t-pain’s voice for a while but it got old really fast,’ said my driver

‘turn right,’ said colonel sanders

‘mm-hmm,’ i said

‘there’s a traffic camera up ahead,’ said colonel sanders. ‘if anyone asks, i was with you last night.’ then he chuckled, in a warm, folksy manner.

i realize this probably sounds like some sort of twisted postmodern tumblr joke, but no, these were the actual pre-recorded words the actual app said.

‘did your gps just jokingly imply colonel sanders committed a murder yesterday and needs an alibi,’ i asked.

‘what?’ said the driver, changing lanes. ‘yeah i guess.’

never in my life had a gps thrown me such a goddamn conversational curveball

like. was it a gps at all, or some sort of experimental new form of fiction, an avant garde crime story delivered in tiny dribbles in and among every hundred navigational tips? but no, if so we are talking some TRUE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES shit, because why the fuck is your dark antihero colonel fucking sanders?

was it a gps at all, or was the deceased wing-and-drumstick magnate now a vengeful ghost and my driver a bold and resourceful ghost-hunter who somehow managed to trap that malignant specter inside the car and bind the colonel’s will to his own and then use that will to get us to the airport via the most efficient available route?

either way, the driver did not divulge his secrets. the colonel droned on. the ride ended. the car drove away and still the truth eluded me, slippery as greased corn.

somebody call a paranormal investigator because we have a lot of shit to work out

Zimbits

Operation: Stop The Crocs

Summary: Eric Bittle doesn’t understand why his co-workers are so obsessed with NHL Star Jack Zimmermann’s fashion choices.  But unfortunately his understanding doesn’t matter when he gets roped into operation, Stop The Crocs.

Rating: Gen

Written for: @thesegayhockeynerds​ who has to listen to my constant complaints about Sid and the yellow crocs.  You know what you have to do, love.  It’s the only way.

*** 

“Oh my god there it is again.”

“He has to be stopped. I mean…this is an affront to like…humanity or some shit.”

“Who allowed this?”

“Why do they even exist?”

Bitty pushed the swinging door open with his hip, carrying the tray of pasties to the counter, and glanced over to where the two baristas were hovering over the counter, murmuring over Holster’s phone. Shaking his head, he began to transfer the pastries onto the display tray, and he clicked his tongue.

“You boys must have something better to do than twitter.”

“Bits,” Ransom said, holding up his hands, “it isn’t twitter. This like, the most important shit ever.”

“Yeah,” Holster said, nodding sagely. “We’re staging an intervention.”

Keep reading

  • Licht enters the room looking disheveled: Sorry I was doing things.
  • Hyde, entering the room also looking disheveled: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!!

By the way, I was catching up with Bones last night, and who comes waltzing in? Fucking Balthazar, posing as a French Interpol detective. And there I was all happy and proud, going, Whoa, nice French accent he’s got there, and then Damn, he can actually say a few words as well and also Really, that’s top-notch work on his language skills, quite impressive, when my spidey sense flared up and I check and -

- I’ll just see myself out, okay? Okay.

The Lying Detective Spoilers

But hang on, why is Eurus even focusing so much attention on Sherlock? He doesn’t even seem to remember her; the East Wind was just a scary story to him. What could he have possibly done to piss her off this much? Maybe he was responsible for something way back when, but it must’ve been when they were just kids, which doesn’t seem worth all this. The only one who really seemed to have much beef with her was Mycroft, given he was the one telling the scary stories to Sherlock. So, why isn’t she going after M–

Oh.

Oooh. Goddamnit, she is. Mycroft’s only weak spot is Sherlock. Of fucking course it is.

Damn it I’m dense.

2

Legends of Tomorrow | 2.01 | Atomic Canary

Surprise.

Originally posted by taeguk

This gif wrecks me bye

Seokjin -

He would be nothing but proud. He knew you were doing your exams and had assumed you would need his help, he had been working toward university after all. But you told him you weren’t worried, so he trusted you. You however wanted to show him why you weren’t concerned because you knew no matter what Seokjin was going to worry eventually so the best way to prevent it was to show him your tests. He was floored by what he saw — you were a genius! He would ask what percentage you were in and when you said the 1% his mind flashed back to their beloved Brain Monster. Oh he was totally going to brag to him about this.

Originally posted by mn-yg

Yoongi -

He would ask why you acted so silly sometimes if on paper you were supposed to be a genius. He was working away at something, some paper when a question popped up that he couldn’t understand. He hadn’t expected you to pop up from around his shoulder to read it and within moments have the answer and explain it to him so that he also understood it. Yoongi would raise an eyebrow and you and ask just how you managed to do that so quickly when he was stuck for so damn long and why hadn’t you helped sooner then. When you just gave his shoulder and pat and walked away he was very confused and wasn’t sure the Genius Min Suga should be offended or not.

Originally posted by jhope-shi

Hoseok -

Would be impressed and a little bit intimidated. It was before a fan meeting, he was bored and someone left out a sudoku puzzle. Hoseok was enjoying himself until he got to one particular puzzle that was a lot harder. He’d asked you for help on a whim but he was impressed when you picked the booklet from his hands and began to solve each puzzle without breaking a sweat. Any time after he saw how smart you were he would ask for your help when he didn’t understand a question and even though he wasn’t in school anymore, study dates would become a thing.

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

Namjoon -

It was game on. Namjoon had always known he wanted someone smart to be in a relationship with so that he could talk with but you were so much more. When he was doing a college math puzzle sheet, for fun of course because he was a nerd, and you slid in to actually correct one of his answers it became a competition. You were trying to one up each other whenever you could, all in good fun of course. Two geniuses in a relationship was a lot of entertainment for the rest of Bangtan but also a lot of headaches when you started talking numbers.

Originally posted by bwipsul

Jimin -  

He was impressed but also wondered what you did for FUN. You were winding down after one of their shows in the dressing room with a nice puzzle. A milk puzzle. Jimin walked in when you were in the middle of doing the completely white puzzle and was honestly worried for you. He would ask if it was a project of some kind because who would do that without being made to? When you told him you were doing it just for fun he was going to wonder about your sanity. Still he would sit next to you and find it relaxing if you enjoyed it he did too. But he was going to be texting Namjoon that you were the new smartest person he knew.

Originally posted by cmtae

Taehyung -

He was glad you were smart? He found out when you were at an amusement park of all things. If you were able to solve the questions that were presented you got a wrist band for spend the entire day. You not only won yourself one, you got one for Taehyung he was grateful but didn’t make a big deal of it. It didn’t matter if you could beat Rap Monster in a battle of wits or you could spend hours talking about things he didn’t understand, it was you and you were someone he loved. You were just also really smart.

Originally posted by officialwookkibby

Jungkook -

You were now his official study buddy. He was doing his homework between his shows and events and he was running through all of the questions about as fast as a snail. He was getting frustrated and you were getting worried. You sat next to him and began to tutor him on the questions, explaining each one slowly and patiently. You weren’t answering them but guiding him into getting them himself. He would be another one to brag about how smart you were but was just genuinely happy to have your help.

GOT7 Reaction Of You Asking For Help Cooking

Jackson:

Somehow overcooks the pasta you were boiling. He was standing right there and you clearly told him the instructions. You both bicker back and fourth until he apologizes. “I’m sorry, i thought you said 30 minutes..”

Bam bam:

*Laughs* “Oh, you’re serious.”

Youngjae:

You try to tell him what to do, but every time you finish lecturing him about the steps the deeper it seems like he’s falling in the hole of confusion. You end up giving up and just let him taste test the food.

Jinyoung:

Always asking questions like “Why are you using that?” Annoying you maybe jus a little too much for someone who isn’t holding the knife. “Why do you need pepper?” Honestly you’d regret asking for help because of the way he nags like a mother. “I thought we were making kimchi.”

JB:

Have to kick him out for eating the ingredients. Sneeks in repetitively for more food. Uses ageyo to get out of trouble. “Your cooking is just so good~ How could i resist?”

Yugyeom:

“I’ll try but i’m not good at cooking.”

Mark:

Is a bit too quiet over there. Has a serious expression on his face like he’s in master chef. You ask him whats wrong. “I don’t want to mess it up, i want you to brag about how good oppa’s cooking is. Here, taste this. Is it too firm?”


- Admin Ja

2

I lied, I had to draw this after having a conversation with my buds.  So yeah, WATCH OUT YOU GUYS THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS IN SUN AND MOON!

N-ways, I thought of a hilarious yet cute idea for Red and Blue. My friends and I were discussing why Red STILL isn’t talking and if there was another reason he came to Alola with Blue. Krack and hilarity ensues.  I don’t ship these guys, but the idea itself was brilliant haha.  Maybe I’m just making that an excuse to make this a ship, oh well.

Extrication

A jungkook scenario in which he is your best friend and you have to bail him out of dangerous situations constantly, even if it means putting your feelings aside. 

Genre: Fluff (angst and smut in later parts) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Why me? you thought to yourself. Why does he always call me? 

 The words repeated themselves in your mind as you pressed the gas. Once again you were on your way to bail out your best friend. He was such a playboy, and was always hooking up with the wrong girls at the worst time. This time he had gone too far. Of all the girls to hook up with at your school, he had to choose the one dating the school thug, Sehun. He would be lucky to be alive by the time you got to him. 

 "I’m honestly gonna kill him if he isn’t already dead" you muttered taking your third red light of the journey, earning angry honks from the car you almost hit. Despite almost causing an accident, you remained relatively calm. You were so used to jungkook doing this that it didn’t phase you anymore. 

 Turn left at the next light 

 "Thank you Siri" you sarcastically replied to your navigation. 

 The destination is on your right

 As you pulled up to the house you shut off your headlights and rolled to a stop. Everything seemed relatively quiet at first. The house looked almost peaceful. Doubt filled your mind as you were beginning to think that you were at the wrong house. That thought quickly ended when you heard the deafening sound of a window shattering followed by a women’s scream. 

 " stop it already! It was my choice to sleep with him.“ 

Shrilly rang through the once peaceful night air. More crashing pursued. 

 "Where is that asshole? I’m gonna kill him when I find him." 

And that was Sehun. Another window shattered. You wondered how nobody had called the police yet. Then again, in neighborhoods like this, everyone tended to keep to themselves. It was the kind of neighborhood you had always wanted to live in. It was a far contrast from the rundown apartments you lived in. A girl could only dream. Your passenger door being thrown open tore you from your reverie. 

 "Drive! Drive!” Jungkook shouted, a smirk plastered on his face as if he just got away with murder.

 As you were speeding away you felt something hit the back of your car. 

 "What was that?“ You questioned jungkook, looking in your rear view mirror to see Sehun shouting profanities at your car. He only laughed in reply. 

 ” whooooo! That was exhilarating!“ 

Even though you weren’t near him, you could practically hear his heart pounding out of his chest as adrenaline coursed through his veins. You always said his thrill seeking would kill him one day. He never listened of course. Why would he. You looked over at your idiotic friend in your passenger seat. 

 "Put on your seatbelt." 

 "Yes mam” he replied with a cheesy salute. 

 You could only shake your head. Even though he got on your nerves constantly, ran you ragged with his shenanigans and made you do all sorts of crazy things to save him, you loved him. You have loved him since your first encounter with him in junior high. 

He was peeping in the girls locker room when you caught him. Jungkook was too immersed in being a pervert to know the basketball coach was coming. Before the teacher had a chance to see him, you spun him around and attached your lips to his. You stayed that way until the coach walked away, muttering something about horny teenagers these days. You saving his ass by kissing him immediately sparked a beautiful friendship. And it was since then that you had liked him, even if he was a pervert and a mad man.

 "Hehehe I got away, and I got a prize to remember it.“ He manically laughed as he pulled a lacy red thong out of his pocket. You mentally slapped your forehead at his antics. Maybe you didn’t love this crazy man as much as you thought. 

 -Sara


Originally posted by jeonify

2

“Stop Staring.” Warren grumbled lazily.

You jumped out of your dream like state and blinked twice. “I-I’m not.” You lied, cheeks flushing.

“You are. I can feel you staring.” Warren nearly growled out.

“Why don’t you ever want me staring at them?” You said a feeling of anger washing over you. “I’m sure other girls got to stare at them, why can’t I!”

“Don’t start, Y/N. Please.”

“Why not warren? Why can’t I admire how beautiful you are?”

“Because they’re not beautiful!” Warren screamed, turning to face you. “I’m not beautiful.” he said softly.

“Oh but Warren. Warren, baby you are. Every time I wake up next to you I’m breathless and I just can’t help but stare. Is this because you got burned? Warren I don’t give a damn about your burnt wing. I think your wings are beautiful ether way. I think you’re beautiful ether way.”

Warren looked down at you, all traces of anger gone. “Really?”

“Really.”

Eliot is gay... does Fen not know this?

When I purchased ‘The Magicians’ season 1 there was a deleted scene where Margo talks to Fen about the marriage, and what it would entail.  It’s how she finds out Eliot will be bound to Fillory forever and be celibate to one wife.  She also told Fen flat out that Eliot was gay. 

Since that scene was cut has anyone actually TOLD Fen Eliot’s sexual preferences?  Why the hell hasn’t he told her himself, flat out?  ‘I’m gay’ why is that so hard?  Why are the show runners stepping back from having an openly gay character not share such a fundamental part of his identity? 

I’m sure people have ranted about this before, but to me it feels like a form of homophobia in the worst way. I’m just going to lie to this woman about what I want, and who I am, and magically everything will work out… OH AND we are going to have a baby on top of everything… because kids make EVERYTHING better. 

Eliot never married in the books, and that was okay, he was openly gay and proud of it, and he didn’t need a wife to fix things. 

This is the core thing that bugs me about this show.  It bugged me last season, it continues to bug me now.