why natural



(Intro: my plan for summarizing Unity Days is to split it into a handful of actor profiles which will probably be released with excruciating slowness over the next week or so. I love everyone on this cast so much and I want to focus on why I love them. Naturally I’m starting with the one everyone loves The Most already.)

I’ve had a feeling for months that Bob and I are similar thinkers with similar passions, which is one of the reasons I started stanning him so hard. Getting the chance to sit across from him (and his puppy!) for half an hour and talk about two things very close to my heart—Bellamy and writing—was an absolute dream come true and confirmed those suspicions in the best way.

I’ve already spent some time summarizing our meet and greet on my twitter, if you haven’t had a chance to read that yet you can do so here: http://bellamyblakesprotectionsquad2k17.tumblr.com/post/156022490794/sams-bob-mg-recap

This post is mostly going to be a recap of the rest of the weekend as well as some gushing over “OH MY GOD HE’S A WRITER.”

Anyway, so the day started off with the Arkadia Boys panel (Bob, Jarod, Richard, and Sachin) but before the panel Bob came running out in this adorable green pea coat (he looked so dapper) and started introducing himself to people. He made sure to personally connect with every fan he visited and hugged people and took pictures with them. My first pic is THE CLOSEST HE CAME TO ME even though I was shouting at him ☹️

I don’t remember much of the panel anymore except for Bob talking about how Bellamy was good in school (in answer to a question about his relationship with Pike, I think) but his education kind of stopped after Octavia was found out and he was demoted to a janitor and “they forgot he was human"—I found his choice of words here very interesting because I think it lends insight into the hierarchy of power on the Ark as well as Bellamy’s state of mind when he comes down to the ground.

I’m also very curious about the educational system on the Ark, because Bellamy was 22 when they found Octavia. So was the schooling he referring to what he was learning as a guard? Ark University? What was he studying?

Moving on—

We had our photo ops with Bob after a very abbreviated lunch. We’d all purchased our own (of course) and we ended up with an extra one because one of our friends couldn’t come. So I took my solo pic first—he shook my hand and hugged me and asked me my name, and then said "Nice to meet you” and I asked if we could do a hug pic. So we did and it turned out BEAUTIFUL.

Then I just waited off to the side until we could do our group pic, which also turned out fantastic.

And then I had my meet and greet with him, which I was fully expecting to be the highlight of my weekend—I walked into the room and Bob was holding Ellie on his lap and I actually gasped, I was so happy to see her. (She kept stealing my attention throughout the chat because she would crawl up his chest and over his shoulders and then he’d pick her up and say “Come on, Boo” and at one point he put her on the table and she walked around sniffing everyone and I TOUCHED HER HEAD. Bob’s dog is a star.)

Anyway, I mostly came out of the m&g wishing it was longer, and that it was more of a one-on-one thing, because we touched on a lot of cool topics that I would have loved to expand on, but there wasn’t time. (Like Bob still doesn’t think Bellamy is a leader and I just wanna tell him, just because he’s a DIFFERENT leader from Clarke doesn’t mean he isn’t one. You can see it any time Bellamy is alone with the delinquents. And I also want to discuss how the sibling relationship with his sister is affected by the fact that no one else they know has a sibling—like, they have no basis of comparison for what a healthy sibling relationship should look like. And maybe that’s part of why Bellamy lets Octavia take so much from him.)

As I freaked out about in my twitter post, we talked about writing—and the concept of Bob as a writer is fascinating to me, because I want to know if he consumes media the way I do. (As in, I can never read a book just for enjoyment, I’m always subconsciously nitpicking word choices and turns of phrases and character development and plot points so for me to find a book actually GOOD, it needs to meet a long list of criteria.) I find it interesting the way he talks about some of his lines—like he told Gina during our autographs that he thought the “Gina was real” line was dumb and had to think of a way to say it that would sound okay. So I wonder if he’s like me, constantly rewriting the scripts in his head.

Also, it’s one thing to have a degree in creative writing (it’s an easy degree to get) and another thing to actually UTILIZE IT. Like, he spends his 16-hour long plane rides writing, he’s written and starred in his own plays—if something he’s written ever comes up in a charity auction I’m gonna be all over that shit. (Because it’s one thing to be a writer, it’s another thing to be a good writer.)

My favourite quote from the m&g is when he was talking about going back to finish a story he’d started 10 years ago and being unable to because he’s “not the same person he was 10 years ago.” One of my favourite things about being a writer is how much of yourself you pour into your writing, even unintentionally—for example, I disconnect myself almost completely from my finished works and look back on them with an abstract sense of pride, but those stories are no longer a part of me, are no longer mine, because I’m not the same person I was when I wrote them.

He also mentioned that he wouldn’t want to work in the writer’s room because you’re writing someone else’s vision—"and that goes against everything they teach you, to write for yourself.“ Which I think is a good reminder that the writers are writing JASON’s vision (and I’m like 100% sure Bellarke is part of Jason’s vision) and also makes me less jealous of the writers in the writers room.

I could talk to Bob about writing for hours and I think I’m a little miffed that I didn’t get the chance.

(Also, the nerdy part of me is oddly…proud?…that he took geological engineering first. AT ONE POINT HE WAS A SCIENCE NERD MAYBE.)

Oh, also he mentioned my #1 favourite author as one of his faves and I died inside a little. AGAIN, I could talk to him for HOURS.

I went up to get my autograph for him at the very end of the day—he stayed late to make sure he got through everyone and we were some of the last in line, but he still took time to chat to us even though it was 6:30 pm and I know he was tired. To make it a little easier, Gina, Jenny and I all got our autographs at the same time so we could talk to him together.

Anyway, he said "Hi Sam!” when he saw me (although I’m not sure if he remembered my name or read it off the little post it note first) and then was like “Thank you for having so many questions about Bellamy at the meet and greet!” and I was basically like, “I have a lot of thoughts about Bellamy, I could talk about him for hours,” and he said “oh, me too. I live it.”

(You can also see how different Bob is from Bellamy (compared to say Sachin, who is basically the same as Jackson) in the way he talks about trying to find justification for Bellamy’s actions, or getting frustrated with the things he does. And yet he still plays him so brilliantly.)

If you can’t read it, his note to me says “Dearest Sam, thank you for being so thoughtful about Bellamy.” And like, if there’s one thing I want Bob to recognize me for, THAT’S IT.

Masculinity can be soft. Masculinity can be gentle. Masculinity can be whispers and shyness and pastel colours and flowers and all those things can be masculine if someone wants them to call them that. Masculinity and femininity are constructs - you don’t have to describe yourself or anything you like as either if you don’t want to.