why it helps to be an empath

anonymous asked:

hi viria i have a problem im dealing with right now ;; in my fandom genderswaps/bends are growing ever more popular and more and more big art/fic creators are accepting and supporting them. as someone trans i've been trying to educate people on how harmful it is, but as more & more 'big' or 'popular' accounts publicly enjoy them, its harder & harder to have an audience that will listen. i used to enjoy genderswaps myself but now ive come to see how truly harmful they are. i want to keep (1/6)

trying to educate ppl but soon it will be near impossible to convey my message as almost a whole of my fandom will just come to accept them and love them so much they wont listen ;; do you have any words to say from your perspective as an artist or from any other standpoint? even just a small word would mean so much, this trend is growing more and more rapidly and stronger every time a fic or piece of art supporting it is produced ;; (2/6) 

i come to you asking such a thing because there are fewer and fewer people that share the same belief as me that it is bad. the argument defending it seems very convincing to many. some trans/qenderqueer/nonbinary people find it enjoyable and comforting but those that are on the opposite spectrum - ppl like me who feel dysphoric and invalidated by it - are in the end told to deal with it and let ppl write/draw what they want and just avoid it since its a comfort to some. another argument (3/6)

is of artistic liscense: you should be able to make whatever you want and this is strengthened by the fact doing so comforts some trans/gq people. but i feel forgotten. do the people that are hurt by it not matter? i feel ashamed now when i try to put out my msg. but i just want to feel a little more normal within my fandomspace. i want to feel like i exist. yet hardly anyone will listen. it’s not longer something i and my friends can avoid and never really was, because it is harmful and (4/6) 

we have a right to speak out against harmful things, yes? i am finding it harder and harder to believe it. i really just yearn to feel normal as the people that are consoled by genderswapping feel normal. i feel i should mention i do remember when you made genderswap art and were educated and apologized, i have gone through the same process myself. i hope i am not bringing up bad memories and apologize if i happen to ;; please, if you could give just a few words yourself it (5/6)   

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Hello! I’m sorry, I think my askbox managed to eat the last part of your message, so it’s not entirely full! But I feel like I get enough information from these parts nonetheless. 

First of all, please, please, try to not let any strangers on the internet make you feel abnormal. I feel like it must be very hard to be put in such a space, but as much as you can, please focus on the people who DO share your opinion on this. As much as it might not look like it, I am sure many people (even out of those who still do genderswaps) mean no harm, don’t yet know how hurtful it is for some other people and WILL listen to you!

I remember when people educated me over this, there were so many who thought that…how to put it. That I think very very bad of transgender people, while I, at that point, didn’t really know much about this issue. When it doesn’t happen to you, it’s not always the thing that crosses your mind. I feel like people who explain why and how this is wrong to artists, especially with their point of view, do help to fuel a thought in someone’s mind, offer them to think about it if they didn’t have the option before.

I try to be hopeful for people, I want to think that even if genderswaps are popular, there are still many empathic people who will listen to you, and who will understand how you feel.

For many it comes to a choice: whether they enjoy genderswaps enough to still draw it when they know how much it upsets some people. It was very fun to draw, but I don’t want to be the cause of someone’s distress by doing it. So… I want to think many people might share my choice. 

I’d say…if you choose to explain your point of view to people who still do genderswaps, try to not make bashing someone the first thing you write them. It might cause anger and defense, and it might not lead anywhere. Back then I was “educated” in a way that made me cry my eyes out, but it’s not something everyone will be willing to go through. For me, it wasn’t people who yelled at me what a piece of crap I was, but people who really explained what they felt that made me think on this topic more. Keep in mind that there still might be people who don’t yet know your point of view. What they see - is the pictures on the internet, people do them, so they assume it’s okay. You don’t usually think “Hm, what can possibly be wrong with this picture?” about drawings you see on the internet. 

As for your safe place, I think you have already done that, block all the genderswap tags to try to avoid on your dashboard. Even if there are people who stop doing them, there will most likely still be people who just started, simply because there are so so many. You don’t want to stress out because of something the stranger did from the other side of the globe.

I’m sorry if this is zero help, I know there is no way to change everyone’s opinion or to inform everyone, but please, don’t lose yourself with this. You are you and you are important, what you feel is absolutely legit and valid, remember it!

Originally posted by idolos-frases

best vs worst

Aries at their best: cheery, laughs a lot, talks to people they usually don’t, tries to spread laughter
Aries at their worst: passive aggressive/aggressive, dismissive, exclusive, irritable, prone to ranting and jealousy
Taurus at their best: agreeable/easy to talk to, offers to help you a lot, is good company, projects good self-image
Taurus at their worst: talks about people behind their backs/gossips, and is judgmental - just super neverendingly obviously crushingly judgmental, they feel alone
Gemini at their best: helpful, encouraging, protective, gives compliments, makes you feel confident and special, is a loyal friend, not worried about anything
Gemini at their worst: passive aggressive, makes you feel super insecure and inferior to them, is really feeling insecure themselves and is stressed/worried
Cancer at their best: expresses love and compliments a ton, reassuring, makes random things totally hilarious
Cancer at their worst: moody, confusing, eager to pick a debate/purposely annoy you and then act like you’re being oversensitive, sad, very stressed
Leo at their best: is a super loyal friend, helps you with anything, celebrates your triumphs, is happy for your triumphs, a few compliments
Leo at their worst: prone to starting explosive fights, is super possessive, purposely annoys people, manipulative, feels neglected for no reason
Virgo at their best: humorous, expresses their confidence in you, calm and ready to relax
Virgo at their worst: gets disproportionately angry about small things, overly controlling, very critical, agitated
Libra at their best: empathetic, witty, will help out when needed, deliriously happy (usually because of something good that has happened/they got something they wanted)
Libra at their worst: moody, insecure, depressed, withdrawn, speaks as little as possible, wants to be left alone, very tired and bored, easily jealous
Scorpio at their best: starts to trust, willing to commit, secure in themselves, happy, is made to laugh easily, not worried about anything, relaxed
Scorpio at their worst: paranoid, overly possessive, makes accusations, makes rash decisions (they usually later regret)
Sagittarius at their best: displays affection for people (even in small doses), is there to listen, is understanding of other people’s quirks, attentive
Sagittarius at their worst: will not follow direction or listen at all, does not understand why things they might do/say make other people upset or are inappropriate, juvenile and reckless
Capricorn at their best: helps people solve problems, listens, opens up a little when given opportunity, levelheaded and inspires the same in others, calmly happy, not too serious
Capricorn at their worst: judgmental, not understanding, acts fake, self-absorbed and overly serious
Aquarius at their best: allows themselves to feel for other people, analyzes themselves, not scared of the long-term, sees what the reasonable and decent thing is to do in situations, tries to rectify issues with others
Aquarius at their worst: reckless, impulsive, inconsiderate, does not sympathize or empathize, hurts others/plays with their emotions and does not care
Pisces at their best: restful, is a good listener, helps people solve their problems, performs kind/good deeds for others, generous
Pisces at their worst: naïve, absentminded, too easily offended, self-absorbed, somewhat outwardly conceited/self-congratulatory, exaggerates

lmao @ people acting like human psychology is black and white

clarke is an eighteen year old girl who killed hundreds of people in order to save her friends and family. believe it or not, that fucks a person up. 

clarke left arkadia because she didn’t feel like she could stay there and be reminded of what she did to keep them alive all day every day. she never got the chance to talk about it. she never got the chance to cope with that.

since that moment, things have just been getting worse and more and more urgent and complex. clarke is nearing her breaking point. arguably, she’s already there. 

as we saw in the promo, she pulls a gun on bellamy—her best friend, her person. 

people do stupid shit when they’re on the verge of a breakdown. people do things they don’t mean. 

but as we also know, bellamy keeps clarke centered. he (and monty, but to a lesser extent) is the only person who is actually capable of understanding the lengths clarke has gone through to keep skikru alive, and that’s why he’s going to be the person who talks clarke through this break and helps her deal with it. 

bellamy knows what it’s like to be in the same mental place clarke is in right now, and it’s just going to bring them closer. 

anyway i’m 100% #ClarkeGriffinDefenseSquad

i don’t agree with her actions, but i can empathize with why she’s acting the way she is. 

You’re a Newly Self-Discovered Empath; Now What?

So you’ve just figured out that you’re an empath. What should you do now? Here’s a quick list of essentials to get you started. 

  • Shields: You need these. I mean need them. Going out without a shield is like leaving your house on a freezing day buck naked. To create shields, visualize the element you are the most connected to surrounding you in a protective shape. For me, it’s earth. My shields are made of very large visualized boulders surrounding me in the astral plane. You can also keep certain crystals around to strengthen your shields. 
  • Practice: Just as they say, practice makes perfect. You can harness your abilities and use them to your advantage, and others’. Read your potential boss and use your findings to nail that job interview. Use your ability to communicate with your deities, or household spirits. Become familiar with your friends auras so that you always know where they are in the house. Read new potential friends so you can better communicate. Practice reading the energies of various stones and objects.
  • Project your aura: Some of us have always been powerful, and have never known our true strength. Because of this, we never knew how to control it. When I feel something strongly, everyone around me feels it. When I am angry or sad, everyone around me becomes angry or sad. I don’t have to say a word or make a face. This is another reason for why shields are so important. We as empaths feel things so deeply that it can and will affect those around us. 
  • Meditate: Meditation allows us to practice and get in touch with ourselves. It will help us discern whether or not the emotions we are having are our own, or from someone near us. 
  • Astral travel: This will make you help you harness your abilities, as well as control them. In the astral plane, it will be much much easier to set up shields and work on your shiz. Plus, it’s really fun. 
  • Journaling: Journal things as you learn and realize them. Notice something unique to being an empath? stick it in your handy dandy empath journal. Notice something unique to YOUR experience as an empath? Jot it down in your journal. It will make things so much easier. 

Soooo, does anyone else think that in the MCU, Peter and Mantis might be brother and sister? I know it would be quite different from the comics but I was kinda wondering. She was raised by Ego, and he had children with women all around the galaxy. Maybe she was one of them. At the time she told them her backstory, she was trying to hide the whole thing with Ego’s other children, and would have wanted to reveal the fact that they were actually related. Maybe Ego didn’t kill her because even if she didn’t have celestial gene, she did end up being an empath and was able to help him sleep ( she was of some use to him).

Anyway, Peter being a protective big brother and Gamora looking at Mantis as an adopted sister and all of the guardians being a big happy family is all I need.

ETA: I just thought of this. Ego says that to him, finding other life was just disappointing. So if he wasn’t interested in other lifeforms and had no empathy for them, why would he rescue an orphan and have her live with him? Idk, it just seems a lot more likely to me that Mantis is his biological child.

Harry Dresden is autistic!

1. Comments many times on the comforting weight of his duster, and the weight of weapons in his hand or pocket and pets lying on him (pressure stim)

2. Very attached to routine and familiarity and is upset if his routine is changed or interrupted (same car, apartment, clothes, meals, etc.)

3. Uses (sometimes pre-scripted) snarky comments as a coping mechanism when he’s having trouble communicating verbally

4. Hyperfocuses on tasks he loves, like building little Chicago or other magical workings, can forget to eat/sleep/shower and ignores social interactions when focused

5. Infodumps about magic

6. Stims with mister and mouse, staff and blasting rod (comments a lot on texture and weight and feeling)

7. Avoids eye contact (partially because of soulgaze possibility but still does it with people he’s already soulgazed)

8. His voice is described as being different than most (non-neurotypical) and he vocal stims with spells

9. Meltdowns and shutdowns due to anger and other strong emotions or sensitivities, sometimes has trouble controlling anger and not melting down violently

10. Mind jumps subjects in ways outside viewers don’t follow, comments don’t always seem to be related to the conversation (going from vampires to why hotdogs and hotdog buns are sold in different amounts) and makes “leaps of logic” that he sometimes struggles to explain to others

11. When he’s having a shutdown or panic attack from sensory problems, he counts by prime numbers to cope until he can go somewhere dark and quiet to calm down

12. Hyperempathy (always wants to help even when he knows people might be lying, gave lash and ivy names and empathized with them)

Lance McClain as the Team Medic

Woohoo more Lance headcanons cos I love my son.

I am 1000000% sure that he would be the team’s emergency medic and would be responsible for anything that doesn’t require a healing pod.  Why?  

1. He comes from a large family (and I like to think he’s an older/middle sibling) so he’s probably had plenty of experience patching up people.

2. He’s empathic and caring.  Lance wants to soothe away other people’s pain. He’s gentler than Pidge, more cautious and careful than Keith, less squeamish than Hunk and better than Shiro with people.  He would make the perfect medic.

3. He feels useless and wants, more than anything, to feel like a valued member of the team.  Realising he’s a good medic would help him feel integral to Voltron.

4. It gives him an excuse to patch up Keith (the Klance is strong) and make sure he’s a-okay cool beans and to grumble at him for being reckless.

5. Water is the element most frequently associated with healing and Lance is literally its guardian..

The thing about emotionally abusive parents...

…is that they are not necessarily horrible human beings. They are not necessarily heartless. They might not even know that what they are doing is wrong, and they might not mean to hurt. They might just not be emotionally equipped to take care of an other person, especially someone completely dependent on them. They mean no harm by it, they just don’t know how to provide an emotionally healthy environment, because they probably didn’t have it either.

And this is why it’s so fucked up. You can rarely stay mad at someone if you can empathize with them. So you suffer from the damage they caused, and the meantime you feel guilty for being hurt when no harm was intended. And you can’t help but think that you are the problem for feeling this way.

False Twin Flames, Karmic Attachment, A Spiritual & Psychological Fusion.

A ‘false twin flame’ is a specific type of karmic attachment that leaves a pretty lasting impression, and a lasting impact, that is, until the actual twin flame makes themselves apparent. And sometimes, even then, the dent left by the false twin may be so prevalent, that it too affects the twin flame union, and the ways in which the twin in question perceives love, and perceives members of the opposite sex, (opposing energy).

Just like not everybody has a twin flame, not everybody has a false twin. The two sort of go hand in hand, and you cannot have one without the other.

Keep reading

           CLAIRSENTIENCE/EMPATHIC (Intuitive Feeling)

                      MASTERPOST & HELPFUL INFO HERE <–

Clairsentience is also known as ’Clear Feeling’ or ’Clear Sensing’ and is very closely linked with the gift of Empathy (they’re both basically the same thing, which is why I’ve decided to group them together.)  See, Empathy and Clairsentience are within the same spectrum of gifts that are based on feeling/sensing the emotions and energies of the world around us. But, Clairsentience is a more intense version of Empathy which takes on a wider range of sensitivities. 

Where an Empath has the ability to sense and feel emotions of people, animals or objects, a Clairsentient person is able to do all of that as well as physically feel energy fields around them, including a person’s aura and voice. So while the two are similar and it is very likely that an Empath can develop a greater Clairsentient gift, it strongly relies on the drive and trust in an individual’s own intuition to tap into fully. We have to trust that what we are feeling is true and act accordingly; it’s so important to remember that we cannot take on and help everyone either. Sometimes the best we can do is protect our own energy, it’s not being selfish, it’s called being SAFE.

In the beginning, you may find that it can be very challenging to understand, because sometimes you will feel things but, you don’t know where it’s coming from or why it’s coming to you. It can be strange at times because you may even feel physical sensations like tickling, goosebumps or weird pressure. Imagery and words DO have an effect on the body so, it may even help to cut back on some of the crazy shows and become more aware of how you speak. It’s important to understand that your words are spells and they should always be used wisely. You may even find now that you can’t watch gore-type movies for example, because they feel physical pain that you feel. Ugh, I know that now just thinking about the ORIGINAL Hostel movie (the LAST gore film I ever watched, legit) I can feel my stomach turn and I get a weird lumpy feeling in my throat. Never again, nope. 

Anyways, sometimes information or specific details will pop into your mind and they will have come out of the blue, literally from nowhere. You will generally feel the emotions and energy of people and the environment around you. The more you develop this gift, you will find that you will have a good sense of what someone is thinking. You might feel exactly what another person around you is feeling, their happiness, sadness and even aggression. You may feel just kind of heavy or off when you meet a new person who ends up being more narcissistic than anything. You may get anxious for no reason or feel random pent up emotions that suddenly burst out like a popped balloon without warning. But, most of all you will just be able to sense the presence of another being before you see them, you’ll just know when someone is having the best or the worst day of their life. Trusting your intuition will greatly help you to know whether you should put your energy and trust into a situation or a person. 

So, how do you know that it’s not ‘all in your head’? Well, we test it! Have you had experiences of overwhelming emotions or energy from people animals, or for just no freaking reason at all? Does it expand to objects and places too? Have you ever felt emotionally attached to someone, even at a distance and can easily call on them in dreams, random thoughts or flashes of insight? Maybe you have a pattern of people not understanding or saying that you are just being “too sensitive” or have a very “vivid imagination”. Are you able to understand energy by words and body language by easily picking up on small cues that others don’t? Perhaps you can sense the presence of spirits, or are aware of the strong energy that will suddenly surround you. Are you highly sensitive to your surroundings to the point where they can put a damper on your emotions or do large crowds make you physically feel ill and call for a serious recharge after? If any of these situations sound familiar, it’s very possible you are an Empath with the ability to tap into clairsentience on a deeper level.

A fun activity you could try is to ask a friend to show you a picture of somebody they know well (obviously make sure you don’t know the person too lol) and then look into the person’s eyes and focus on their energy. Ask yourself how they must have felt at the moment of the photo being taken? What this individual is like as a person? Would you trust the person? Is there anything else the person’s eyes are revealing or rather hiding? After a few minutes of gaining insight, check with your friend to see how accurate you were! Your first time you may only get basic feelings like a burst of positivity or negativity but, the more you practice, the more you will begin to feel, understand and see the opportunities that this beautiful gift has in store for you.

                               (video used in .Gif here)

*This concludes the ‘CLAIR’ posts. If you have missed any and want to read more, click the link at the top of this post. Have any areas you would like me to cover? Shoot me an ask for in-depth write-ups!

Energy Work

Training

I became a spirit worker in January of 2017. What a time to be alive! However, empathy came to me about 6 years ago. I wanted to make it as strong as possible, and the practices I utilized then help me immensely in my work now. So here are some things that I do to practice energy work.

Color Walk
This actually began as a game I played with myself in elementary school. The tiles in our floors were mostly white but in the middle there were blue and green diamonds with some red and yellow squares. I thought it would be cool to close my eyes and walk until I thought I was on a colored tile. I’d look down and see if I was correct. Eventually after often being correct when I was on a color, I’d walk with my eyes closed, stop on a colored tile, and guess which color it was. This helps me process the energies each colored tile set off. This, I believe, has helped with astral sight. Being able to register the energies around me and having them form pictures in my head.

Meditation
Okay, you get it. You gotta meditate. You’ve probably been told to do this a million times before. This suggestion is often repeated and repeated over and over but that’s because it works. However, a lot of people when the first begin to meditate have a lot of different ideas of what meditation is. You don’t have to think of nothing, you don’t have to chant, you don’t have to do anything. For me, personally, meditation is a practice of your own. However many different practices will suggest various meditation practices and none are wrong! You just have to learn what’s right for you. Personally, my most productive meditative trances exist when I meditate in the way a professor of mine taught me. He’s a Zen Priest and he taught a mindful living class in my community college. I may make a basic meditation post another time based on what I learned.

Energy Centers
Many people often call these energy centers Chakras. They are generally an accepted 7 points to focus on and they help with the way energy flows through your body, each with a specific purpose. If any become clogged up, you could feel sick, drained, less connected. All around just screwy. I started by doing guided meditations to help understand which energy point was which, where it was located, and how it worked. After that I’m able to meditate and focus on my own. One of my favorite things to do is to sit, relax, and let a chill go down my spine. I’ll feel all of the places this chill fills and connect them to my energy points. If there is a point that doesn’t receive the chill, then the energy center in that vicinity likely needs work.

Listening
I am able to hear spirits, but not through my ears. When talking to spirits, they don’t talk in the same way that we do. In my personal experience, they can communicate in a variety of ways including feelings, pictures, general ideas, vague emotions, and eloquent sentences. I can often pair their message with their emotions. It helps their responses come in clearer. How to practice hearing them? Once you learn to quiet the chatter your brain likes to produce, which is often referred to as the ego or the monkey mind, you can learn how to differentiate your thoughts from the ones that are being given to you. THIS IS A VERY BENEFICIAL SKILL IF YOU’RE AN EMPATH LIKE ME. After that, you just get to trust what comes.

Smelling/Tasting
Ya’ll I really wish I could help you there. I have no idea how or why I can smell death and taste my husband’s McDonalds from miles away. It’s magical, though.

more headcanons why not

  • they called each other lulu and koko as kids
  • lup has always kept taako grounded in life, helped him empathize, helped him be more neutral than chaotic
  • taako helps lup be confident and strong, always supporting and loving, and she knows he trusts her implicitly 
  • cooking for both of them has helped - taako gets to channel effort into something productive, not needlessly destructive, and lup gets to impress people with her passion, and she never has to pull out a blowtorch for her creme brule 
empathy and being “good”

the post i reblogged right before this one talks, in a form of a dialogue, about one’s desire to be a good, helpful person while their brain tells them that it requires empathy “for at least 2 minutes”, and the person saying something like “oh ew”, implying it’s not that possible. it is implied that the OP has NPD, narcissistic personality disorder. this post was the reason why i decided to finally let my opinion flow on this topic: empathy and being a “good person”. 

it seems at first that these two concepts march together: if you have good, normal empathy levels, you are a nice person, and vice versa. and, in fact, it’s not a wrong assumption! there are definitely tons of good empaths. however, such assumption is a logical fallacy. it is simply correlation, but not causation. and here is my explanation why.

let’s start with definitions. what is empathy? because it is a nontangible concept, its definitions are vague and vary from dictionary to an encyclopedia to one person’s set of ideas. daniel goleman says that empathy is awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and concerns. empathy is also the power of entering into another’s personality and imaginatively experiencing his experiences, according to Chambers English Dictionary. so, summing it up, we have empathy that is an ability to understand and/or feel someone’s feelings, or, like people say, an ability to walk in one’s shoes.

a good person is even a vaguer term. it is not in the dictionary, so let me cite wikihow. a good person is a person who is ready to improve themselves, have a positive attitude, and interact with others. but, if you want something even more simplified, a good person is someone who does morally good things. ex. helping others.

simply knowing that people are happy or suffering or scared or worried does not make one a good person. in order to be considered a good person, one has to, for example, help the sad and broken people who need a shoulder to cry on or some cash to survive the night. me observing a small puppy drowning in a pond, because his small paws are too short, and thinking “that puppy is suffering and scared” doesn’t make me a good person. however, me helping the puppy does.

can lack of empathy prevent me from helping the puppy? obviously, by not feeling the puppy’s feelings or experiencing his experiences, it could be hard to understand what’s wrong in his situation. however, i have some common sense left. i see a puppy with extremely short legs that are creating splashes everywhere. this is definitely not the situation the puppy should be in, as the dog obviously cannot swim. i take the puppy and put it on the solid ground. he is alive. and i have done something good by saving a dog’s life.

was it necessary for me to understand that, at first, the puppy was scared and then relieved? first sad then happy? no. absolutely not. but somehow i managed to do a good thing. without any excess empathy.

i have seen posts on social media - twitter mainly - filled with praise for empathy. “empathy is everything,” and similar quotes. and i cannot be angry at these phrases, but i can’t help it, because of tweets like these:

these tweets not only show the OP’s ignorance but promote such ignorance and (ironically!)close-mindedness among their followers and fans. it demonizes people with low or w/o empathy. it demonizes individuals with npd, aspd, bpd, schizoid pd, autism, and schizophrenia. it demonizes those who lack normal levels of empathy due to abuse or trauma. it demonizes people who have done nothing to deserve such demonization.

i did not want to tie politics into this at all, but i have to. remember when trump’s campaign was growing? remember when liberals started saying that trump has npd? remember the reality where trump (wow!) does not have npd? if liberals are really what they claim to be - for equality and against oppression - they must stop spreading stigma against mentally ill people.

i am a very good person. sometimes it is hard for myself to believe that - partly thanks to those who say that low empathy is awful - but it is true. i help people. i volunteer. i make people happy. do i know they are happy? not really. but they tell me they are. there is a great thing called communication that exists. i might not see that the person is hurt; yet, if they tell me they are, i will surely try to comfort them. yes, it works that way. not only through guessing people’s mood.

to conclude, i have no idea who created the idea that empathy is the cause of good things. in reality, one’s moral compass is the true cause of good deeds. morals are the reason we see something as good or bad. so, instead of being a prick to fellow citizens with mental disorders, one can try to find the faults in their argument and finally see the truth.

Japanese Shiro Headcanons

I’ve talked about Cuban Lance and Korean Keith and even Jewish Pidge but I want to talk about Japanese Shiro beacuse I’m Japanese myself and I’m super self indulgent. I headcanon him as Japanese American

- Shiro who misses eating food from his culture and he just kinda experiences reverse culture shock for awhile
Eventually they visit a water planet and Shiro can have all the fish he wants.

- Shiro who sometimes speaks in Janglish
(simplified English with meshes of Japanese) around people he likes
he also talks really fast when he’s excited about something and none of the paladins can really understand him that well.

- Shiro who notices he has grey hair from severe anixiety and stress but decides not to cut it off and keeps it instead beacuse it’s good luck in his culture.

- Shiro being able to empathize/bond with Allura and Coran about missing their cultures + Shiro being able to empathize with Kieth over how Galra are discrimnated against for biased reasons

- Shiro regularly goes to The Local Space Mall™ to look through dozens of stores for anything that looks distinctly Asian at all, sometimes the paladins help beacuse they know what it’s like to miss their respective cultures.

- Just Shiro REALLY MISSING EATING RICE

- “what do you mean you wear shoes inside?”

- “my name means white, why do I pilot the Black Lion”

- Shiro and Kieth have J & K - pop jams every Saturday also sometimes lance and Pidge join. They have lots of karaoke sessions singing songs in eachother’s languages

- Shiro wants to try to cook something but he can’t find the right ingredients anywhere

- Shiro making really bad puns based on Japanese wordplay but no one gets it except Keith since they’ve both studied eachother’s languages.
The pun probably has something to do with a frying pan and bread

yoonbum’s point of view

okay, so i decided to write a post for all of you who feel confused about why yoonbum behaves like he behaves

this post will be long but i hope it can help someone to understand yoonbum’s mental state at least. whole post is of course what i think about yoonbum’s motives and this is my opinion - you can disagree with me.

THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 1 TO CHAPTER 14 

so, first of all - i want to clear one thing that should be obvious to all killing stalking readers

the “relationship” between yoonbum and sangwoo isn’t and can’t be called love. this is a very toxic and sick relationship and sure it is between two males, but it has been shown in a really psychological way and never shown in a romantic or cute way in this comic. the author NEVER idealize any of characters’ actions. you all should know this and keep it in your mind. 


so, let’s move to the main topic of this post - a yoonbum’s point of view

as all of you know, yoonbum lived with his grandparents ever since he was kid. he mentioned it in chapter 5, when he was talking with sangwoo. he then marked that he lives with his uncle now (of course before he break-into sangwoo’s house). after sangwoo’s question about yoonbum’s uncle, he told him that the reason he cut his wrist was beacuse of his uncle and because he felt lonely. yoonbum then didn’t say the thing straightly but in chapter 7 we all can see how his uncle really treats him. 

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and then we can see something like flashback from yoonbum’s past. 

it clearly means that yoonbum was/still is a victim of sexual abusement and the culprit is his own uncle. 

although he hasn’t told about whether his relathionship with his own grandparents was good or bad, i can be almost sure that he has never felt nor understood the meaning of real love in his whole life. because of that he doesn’t know what real love looks like but he had been searching for it desperately. you can also see a weird thoughts with flashbacks from his past when he was trying to break-into sangwoo’s house in chapter 1


as you can see, these flashbacks were from very bad moments in yoonbum’s past - his life has been filled with stressful situations like for example probably misunderstanding with one of the girls from his school or - on the last flashback - probably an attempt of hit yoonbum by his grandfather but his grandmother tries to stop him. 

(flashback from chapter 9 - he was probably bullied in his school age)

and then he met sangwoo - in the second semester of his first year of college (he also mentioned that he entered the college 4 years late, so it can be also caused by his mental state and abusive grandparents/uncle). sangwoo at once impressed yoonbum - in his point of view sangwoo was gentle, emapthic and considerate, so everyone wanted to make friend with him. and since that moment yoonbum had a crush on him. but caused by his distorted view of what love is he even didn’t want to talk to sangwoo - he was maybe not shy, but definitely scared of what will sangwoo do after yoonbum’s conffesion, again - due to his problems since childhood (and also to the whole problem with homophobia in korea). he also knew that he won’t have any chance to be with sangwoo. but before long, when yoonbum was in his army duty, he was being oppressed by his platoon’s fellows. and then, just accdientally sangwoo interrupted this whole bullying. and since that moment he was like savior in yoonbum’s eyes - it is very important to know because it has an influence in yoonbum’s further actions. after that incident yoonbum decided to admiring sangwoo from the distance even more, but he hadn’t seen him since that. he felt miserable and lonely and decided to just forget him little by little. until he accidentally spotted him on the street with some girl. after that the whole thing yoonbum considered as love for sangwoo and his admiration to him hit him really hard, and then he felt like forgetting about sangwoo is no more possible. so this is probably the moment when the whole serious stalking has begun. 

let’s move a little bit further in action - to the moment when yoonbum found a woman in sangwoo’s basement. he didn’t even once think that sangwoo could tied her up and left her in his basement - he might as well thought that sangwoo didn’t know about such a thing. then, after sangwoo hit yoonbum with baseball bat, yoonbum was scared and filled up with confused thoughts. he didn’t recognize sangwoo.

and this was probably the moment when the image of sangwoo which was created by yoonbum’s mind has split up to two different people - one of them was the sangwoo who yoonbum has known to that moment - a gentle, warm, empathic and nice person who helped yoonbum during his army duty, and the other one was the sangwoo who was uknown for yoonbum until then - a brutal, aggressive and ruthless one who looks exactly like sangwoo but isn’t a “real” sangwoo. this is why yoonbum thought of this

then, yoonbum - afraid of dying from the “uknown” sangwoo’s hands - tried to confess his feelings towards “real” sangwoo - he might thought that by this way he could bring the “real” sangwoo back. after that sangwoo touched yoonbum’s forehead in gently-looking way. he then said that he and yoonbum should go up which was something like a singal for yoonbum that the “real” sangwoo was here back again. yoonbum was really happy and relieved but he still couldn’t believe that sangwoo really forgave him. you may notice that after sangwoo’s appearing yoonbum didn’t even once thought about tied up woman who was still near them. he also like forgot about that sangwoo had hit him and want to kill him, even more - he thought that all of these was his fault and nothing was wrong with good side of sangwoo, beacuse it all was done by his bad side. 

you all know what happened next, so let’s move a little bit further again - to the moment when sangwoo was “feeding” yoonbum with porridge. sangwoo asked him how does he feel and yoonbum - probably still believing that the “real” sangwoo may come back - said “i feel good”. sangwoo was disgusted, he called yoonbum a retard and then started kissing him. yoonbum once again utterly forgot about what sangwoo has done to him to that moment and thoguht that the kiss was from “real” sangwoo and is something special. 


okay, so now i want to talk about yoonbum being imprisoned altogether. before that, i want you to get to know with some like a little summary of the book which is an authentic story of natascha kampusch - a girl who had been trapped in some guy house for more than eight years (the book is called “3,096 days”, you can google it for more information). she describes in it what these eight years look like - she was being bullied not only physically but mostly mentally. she says that after some time she got used to being physically abused and imagined that she was watching the whole situation by standing nearby this guy and her body. but she never got used to metnal abuse. natascha was really strong mentally and even when she was kidnapped by age 10 it took that guy some time to break her. then she was trapped in her own mind, she had many, like, many chances to escape, but she couldn’t. her mind was so twisted due to that guy that she couldn’t even think about escaping. it was really horrible for her, she could think only about how to not annoy her oppressor. moreover, even if she didn’t know him before kidnapping, she started to feel something like pity for him after some time. she doesn’t want him to got into trouble because of her and she tried to understand him. 

so i see yoonbum.

moreover, he has been in love even before sangwoo has trapped him, so his sympathy towards him is even more exposed and even more distorted. when the “unknown” sangwoo is with yoonbum, he just tried to not annoy him and do everything by right way so sangwoo won’t have a reason to punish him. in chapter 4 you could also see that yoonbum was thinking about escaping from “unknown” sangwoo (because he is still in love with “real” sangwoo), he was really confused and his mind started to twisting and imagining how would it be if he managed to run away. but even for this not-so-long period of time being impriosoned he couldn’t even tried to escape, he was so scared of what kind of punishment would sangwoo do to him after his obvious failure. (i love how author showed yoonbum’s disability to escape due to his physical and mental state by drawing him in a cage… for real, it was a really good way to show how yoonbum was feeling by then). it is alsow very important to notice that yoonbum was so desperate he tried to poison sangwoo and after realizing that it was impossible he probably tried to kill himself by eating poisoned food.

although yoonbum was aware that sangwoo has his two sides - good and bad, he still ignored almost everything sangwoo had done to him in his bad mood when he changed his side to good one. by then, only some kisses and nice words were enough for yoonbum to forget about sangwoo’s bad side. after incident in end of chapter 5, sangwoo had changed. yoonbum was still aware of his two sides, though, and in chapter 6 he concluded it.

it was probably the time when he still recognized two sides of sangwoo. but after some time his image of sangwoo started to blurring - since that time he didn’t know whether sangwoo had changed and he will be a nice person from then on or this is just an another switch to his good side which won’t last forever. then, more kisses and sangwoo being “gently” towards yoonbum. and after that the image was even more blured and twisted, so was yoonbum’s mind. but when sangwoo left the house in chapter 7, the really strong dose of common sense hit yoonbum and he realized that was probably his only real chance to escape. even though, he started to not recognize what is true and what is his imagination. he had hallucinations and a lot of visions what would happen if sangwoo was there. he utterly lost his sense of time. but during this whole hell, he decided to escape. then, he disobeyed sangwoo for the first time. 

it was like he finally understood that sangwoo has never been any good, even when he is in his “good” side. 

after that, sangwoo turned mad and came back home to punish yoonbum. yoonbum tried to calm sangwoo down by kissing him and proposing him another thing instead of punishment (everyone knows what he meant by “another thing”), but he was still madly frightened of sangwoo. then, it is no longer something like he want to bring “real” sangwoo back, because these sides never really existed, he realized that. after the whole “airplane” thing, yoonbum didn’t longer think that anything will work on sangwoo so he just started saying that this was too much and he remonstrated, even got a little bit angry. but after that he realized that he has no right to order sangwoo around. 

but again, when he was playing cards with that old dude, he felt like he was someone special to sangwoo, because sangwoo was helping him to “win”. even after yoonbum lost, sangwoo still was treating yoonbum like he was something “special”. yet, i don’t have a clue whether yoonbum still thinks that he is someone “special” to sangwoo or that it was just another of sangwoo’s insane actions. 

and in chapter 13 you could see that yoonbum hid in the cupboard underneath the sink. this action also have a two possible motives - one, he didn’t want to get sangwoo any more angry and he thought that even if he wouldn’t hide, sangwoo would make up a story to policeman that it all would look innocent in cop’s eyes, so it was better to hide, and the other motive - yoonbum still believed that he is someone “special” to sangwoo and he still wanted sangwoo to treat him in a “special” way. but then, at the very end of chapter 13, he slipped his hand off sangwoo’s back, which might mean that he believes none of sangwoo’s words anymore. 

in chapter 14 he had an opportunity to escape from sangwoo again. he first started panicking where sangwoo is, but then he realized that he wasn’t literally tied up to anything, so that meant he could escape. even though he could walk, he couldn’t move, so again, it is like mental cage made of scare of sangwoo or scare of he won’t be “special” to sangwoo anymore. as i said before, i still have no clue what his way of thinking is now.

okay, so i think this is almost the end of my so-fucking-long post. i tried to not make it this long, but yet i wanted to explain my point of view, because, yeah, i feel it is really important to understand why yoonbum is or was (because i have a feeling that he has changed) like that - miserable, lonely, and that he at first wasn’t paying much attention to all these bad things sangwoo had done to him until he gave him some kisses and a “good” vibe. so, to all of you who thought that the thing between sangwoo and yoonbum is “love” - no, it never was, it is not, and it will never be. i hope yoonbum finally understands that his meaning of love was utterly wrong and does not exist in a real world. 

i am also going to write a very similar post about sangwoo + his motives of murders, so stay tuned and wait for another post! 

jfc, i hope it makes any sense because english is not my native nor first language, so i have made some mistakes for sure, so sorry for that! 

BBRae Week: Day 5

Casual Love vs Marriage

Yeah, both.


Friday nights were drinking nights.

No matter how busy their lives got, or how complicated, that was never likely to change, and it was something the group was rather vigilant on.

It had been a year that Kory and Richard were married, and the crew wanted to do something big for their best friends, to help celebrate when they got back from their anniversary getaway.

They’d made reservations at the couple’s favourite bar, invited everyone that had ever befriended them, and pooled in some hard-earned cash to buy out most the beer and liquor the place served.

Raven, Terra, and Karen had volunteered to show up early and put up a few decorations before anyone got there. Luckily, the original gang had spent so much time and money at this bar, that the owner had virtually no qualms with helping them out, especially when they’d often left him and his staff a generous tip by the end of every night.

It also helped that their presence, being former Teen Titans, drove in revenue and attention to the otherwise quiet establishment. It was always a full house any Friday the team decided to hit it up for their weekly drinking and socializing festivities.

“You know, it doesn’t look too shabby,” Victor had remarked when he’d stepped into the closed off area of the bar the girls had been decorating. His mechanical fingers rubbed at his chin as he contemplated the room around him.

“You say that like you almost expected it to look like shit,” Terra scoffed, folding her arms over her chest.

[but there’s more under the cut!]

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sendursx2me-deactivated20170321  asked:

I can't figure why I hate myself so much & angry i work through the 12steps 14.5 yrs sober/clean I let go of past yet past energy of sexual abuse & violence stuck inside me I know it's not my fault why do I hate myself & angry @ the world & take it out on God & Jesus. I don't want to live this way it's been said suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem yet what's so temporary about being tormented 54 years.

Hi. Thank you for reaching out to me. Thank you for being brave enough to open up about your trials; about the battles you fight. The ones unbeknownst to everyone around you. You know, the real shit. I am not at your stage of life, I haven’t experienced your hardships, but I am here to empathize with you, to help get an understanding and aid you in navigating this point in your life. Often times self loath can be attributed to guilt, or a disconnect between who you are and who you think you should be (cognitive dissonance). Suicide isn’t often touched on. It’s not a “nice” and pretty subject. But it’s real. Suicide is a more commonly occurring thought than one might think. It is okay to let those thoughts come to mind, but don’t pursue them. 54 years of torment is a sentence I wouldn’t wish upon anybody, and though it hasn’t been a perfect 54 years, you’ve accomplished a great deal. You’re sober and you’ve survived the mental torture of being abused (you need to know it’s not your fault). I would take this opportunity to look ahead into the future. You are 54 years old and still have many years to continue your pursuit of fulfillment and happiness. What fulfillment and happiness looks like it not a question I can answer for you. Look around in your life and pick out the pieces that being you joy. Once you’ve found your joy, pursue. You have too much life to live and owe it to yourself to enjoy the shit out of your time here. Please stay. 

Undisclosed Desires (part 5)

Words: 2.1k

Summary: TFW discuss learning about your past as you catch up with Lucifer.

A/N: More canon divergence. Let me know if you’d like to be added to my mater tag list.

—————

“Cas, you’ve been pretty quiet back there. You ok?” Dean asked from the drivers seat of the Impala.

Castiel remained silent and stared out the window. Part of him understood why you didn’t tell him and he wished he didn’t care; but how could he not care. Not only were you nephilim, but you were the spawn of the devil himself.

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anonymous asked:

I love Damien too actually a while I understand he has been manipulative to most of the other characters, can he really help it? This is the crux of his ability and I can understand why he so wants some to relate to while hating his actions. #damienneedssomelovetoo

It’s true that he’s been living with his ability for so long that it’s completely affected the way he interacts with people. And I do think that being able to relate to/empathize with a character while still understanding their faults is a great, important thing. But I’m personally very skeptical of the “he can’t help it” reasoning. Just remember: 

Originally posted by cucurg

James Duff wants Rusty to be the lens by which he tells stories. Ok, fine, Rusty is the lens in this little one-shot:

She navigated her keys around the black box in her hand. Even on the drive home, she was unwilling to drop the box holding her commander stars into her purse – afraid that if she let go of it, it would disappear before her eyes.

Commander Raydor. Isn’t that just a kick in the head?

Andy kissed and congratulated her, then complained in the same breath that he was stuck cleaning up the debris while she strolled off with her little black box. Well, he’d gone out without orders and put himself in harm’s way – again – the least he could do was sweep up the dust and shattered glass that remained of her office. And he did it, because he loved her and he did whatever he could to make her life easier.

Commander Flynn also sounded awfully nice, come to think of it.

She didn’t even have a chance to toe off her heels when she caught sight of Rusty on the couch. The tv wasn’t on, the stereo wasn’t playing; he was just sitting, staring out the picture windows toward the green of Griffith Park.

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