why it helps to be an empath

The thing about emotionally abusive parents...

…is that they are not necessarily horrible human beings. They are not necessarily heartless. They might not even know that what they are doing is wrong, and they might not mean to hurt. They might just not be emotionally equipped to take care of an other person, especially someone completely dependent on them. They mean no harm by it, they just don’t know how to provide an emotionally healthy environment, because they probably didn’t have it either.

And this is why it’s so fucked up. You can rarely stay mad at someone if you can empathize with them. So you suffer from the damage they caused, and the meantime you feel guilty for being hurt when no harm was intended. And you can’t help but think that you are the problem for feeling this way.

Lance McClain as the Team Medic

Woohoo more Lance headcanons cos I love my son.

I am 1000000% sure that he would be the team’s emergency medic and would be responsible for anything that doesn’t require a healing pod.  Why?  

1. He comes from a large family (and I like to think he’s an older/middle sibling) so he’s probably had plenty of experience patching up people.

2. He’s empathic and caring.  Lance wants to soothe away other people’s pain. He’s gentler than Pidge, more cautious and careful than Keith, less squeamish than Hunk and better than Shiro with people.  He would make the perfect medic.

3. He feels useless and wants, more than anything, to feel like a valued member of the team.  Realising he’s a good medic would help him feel integral to Voltron.

4. It gives him an excuse to patch up Keith (the Klance is strong) and make sure he’s a-okay cool beans and to grumble at him for being reckless.

5. Water is the element most frequently associated with healing and Lance is literally its guardian..

Listen on so empath!Adam, who can read and reflect other people’s emotions and intentions, which is why it’s so hard to lie him and why Adam is always canny to what’s going on.

Empath!Adam who notices -can feel- the drastic change in Ronan when Ronan goes home to the barns. The love and adoration and satisfaction and contentment. And Ronan feels so strongly that it spreads to Adam, and Adam can’t help but feel content and relaxed too. And Ronan, seeing how happy Adam is there, with him, in their found family-how good Adam feels and knowing he had something to do with that, makes Ronan even happier, even more satisfied.

And because Ronan feels more, Adam feels more. And being together with each other just has them in this self perpetuating loop of affection and positivity as they start loving each other more and more.

           CLAIRSENTIENCE/EMPATHIC (Intuitive Feeling)

                      MASTERPOST & HELPFUL INFO HERE <–

Clairsentience is also known as ’Clear Feeling’ or ’Clear Sensing’ and is very closely linked with the gift of Empathy (they’re both basically the same thing, which is why I’ve decided to group them together.)  See, Empathy and Clairsentience are within the same spectrum of gifts that are based on feeling/sensing the emotions and energies of the world around us. But, Clairsentience is a more intense version of Empathy which takes on a wider range of sensitivities. 

Where an Empath has the ability to sense and feel emotions of people, animals or objects, a Clairsentient person is able to do all of that as well as physically feel energy fields around them, including a person’s aura and voice. So while the two are similar and it is very likely that an Empath can develop a greater Clairsentient gift, it strongly relies on the drive and trust in an individual’s own intuition to tap into fully. We have to trust that what we are feeling is true and act accordingly; it’s so important to remember that we cannot take on and help everyone either. Sometimes the best we can do is protect our own energy, it’s not being selfish, it’s called being SAFE.

In the beginning, you may find that it can be very challenging to understand, because sometimes you will feel things but, you don’t know where it’s coming from or why it’s coming to you. It can be strange at times because you may even feel physical sensations like tickling, goosebumps or weird pressure. Imagery and words DO have an effect on the body so, it may even help to cut back on some of the crazy shows and become more aware of how you speak. It’s important to understand that your words are spells and they should always be used wisely. You may even find now that you can’t watch gore-type movies for example, because they feel physical pain that you feel. Ugh, I know that now just thinking about the ORIGINAL Hostel movie (the LAST gore film I ever watched, legit) I can feel my stomach turn and I get a weird lumpy feeling in my throat. Never again, nope. 

Anyways, sometimes information or specific details will pop into your mind and they will have come out of the blue, literally from nowhere. You will generally feel the emotions and energy of people and the environment around you. The more you develop this gift, you will find that you will have a good sense of what someone is thinking. You might feel exactly what another person around you is feeling, their happiness, sadness and even aggression. You may feel just kind of heavy or off when you meet a new person who ends up being more narcissistic than anything. You may get anxious for no reason or feel random pent up emotions that suddenly burst out like a popped balloon without warning. But, most of all you will just be able to sense the presence of another being before you see them, you’ll just know when someone is having the best or the worst day of their life. Trusting your intuition will greatly help you to know whether you should put your energy and trust into a situation or a person. 

So, how do you know that it’s not ‘all in your head’? Well, we test it! Have you had experiences of overwhelming emotions or energy from people animals, or for just no freaking reason at all? Does it expand to objects and places too? Have you ever felt emotionally attached to someone, even at a distance and can easily call on them in dreams, random thoughts or flashes of insight? Maybe you have a pattern of people not understanding or saying that you are just being “too sensitive” or have a very “vivid imagination”. Are you able to understand energy by words and body language by easily picking up on small cues that others don’t? Perhaps you can sense the presence of spirits, or are aware of the strong energy that will suddenly surround you. Are you highly sensitive to your surroundings to the point where they can put a damper on your emotions or do large crowds make you physically feel ill and call for a serious recharge after? If any of these situations sound familiar, it’s very possible you are an Empath with the ability to tap into clairsentience on a deeper level.

A fun activity you could try is to ask a friend to show you a picture of somebody they know well (obviously make sure you don’t know the person too lol) and then look into the person’s eyes and focus on their energy. Ask yourself how they must have felt at the moment of the photo being taken? What this individual is like as a person? Would you trust the person? Is there anything else the person’s eyes are revealing or rather hiding? After a few minutes of gaining insight, check with your friend to see how accurate you were! Your first time you may only get basic feelings like a burst of positivity or negativity but, the more you practice, the more you will begin to feel, understand and see the opportunities that this beautiful gift has in store for you.

                               (video used in .Gif here)

*This concludes the ‘CLAIR’ posts. If you have missed any and want to read more, click the link at the top of this post. Have any areas you would like me to cover? Shoot me an ask for in-depth write-ups!

bubbasaur  asked:

I was wondering if you had any advice on being a good friend while being hyperempathetic? A lot of my friends have really bad situations, and I feel like I can't be there for them because when they talk about their problems I usually have a panic attack. And then I feel awful for not wanting them to come to me for help. I also always avoid their negative posts and I feel so selfish.

Aahhh i totally feel this….

honestly what i try to do is use empathy to help them feel that their emotions are rational and stuff… like when i can really empathize with my friends and feel what they’re feeling im able to be like ‘oh noooo’ more because i can imagine what it’s like

honestly if you can you might want to explain hyperempathy to them, and just be like 'this is why i might not be the best at talking to people’

if anyone else has any advice pls tell !!!

{ I LOVE how Plumes can just calm ppl down

I LOVE how when Guzma is raging, all she has to do is legit walk up to him and he’ll calm tf down.
I LOVE how Guzma REFUSES to hurt her.
I LOVE how people within Skull come to her for help.
I LOVE how those in danger outside of Skull just seem DRAWN to her and seek help within her even though it’s a challenge to get her help most the time.

This is why I headcanon her as an Empath. This is why I PLAY her as an Empath.

I, too, am an Empath. I know what it’s like to just DRAW ppl to me w/o even trying to do so.
I know what it’s like to LEGITIMATELY FEEL anothers pain. }

The Difference between Soulmates and Life Partners

Soul Mate: Someone who is completely aligned with your soul and is sent to challenge, awaken and stir different parts of you in order for your soul to transcend to a higher level of consciousness and awareness. Once the lessons are learned, physical separation usually occurs. This meeting of souls may happen once or multiple times. Each meeting occurrence challenges different portions of your soul as you grow and transcend. There is a sense of déjà vu. Some empaths may even feel the others soul source long before they arrive.

Life Partner: A companion, a friend, a stable and secure individual who you can lean on, trust and depend on to help you through life’s challenges. There is a mutual feeling of compassion, lust, respect and sometimes even love. You are both in sync with each others needs and wants. There may be even a sense of comfort enough to settle into your own unique rhythm.

We are bought into this world alone and we die alone, so why is it humans are so avid on seeking partnership in this life? It is curious as to why as we seek to join with another in some form of relationship.

Is it possible that as humans we are just not meant to seek just one partner we have stereotyped and been somehow made to believe is normal?

What drives us so fervently to find a companion? Is it fear? Is it because we are scared of being alone as individuals? Is it society, or is it much deeper?

Is there a deeper spiritual yearning to find a match?

The concept of a Twin flame and Soulmate has long been discussed in the spiritual world.

Soulmates are our friends, family members, confidants and sometimes partners who are almost ‘cut from the same cloth’ as us. Many believe that soulmates come to guide and challenge us helping us along a portion of our path. Sometimes soulmates come to help resolve unfinished business from a past life.

Soulmate relationships, whether romantic or otherwise are primarily here to move and shake you, and often leave a lifelong lasting imprint on your heart. Soulmates sometimes also stick around and become your greatest friend, teacher or even spouse.

Twin flames on the other hand are the ultimate epitome of Love- with a capital L! It is believed that before you are brought into the physical world, the energy of your soul is divided into both a “masculine” and “feminine” energy. When you connect with your other energetic half in physical form you have found your Twin Flame.

Not everyone will experience Twin Flame love in their life time. Many believe that the soul has to go through many earthly journeys and reincarnations to get to a level where they can meet their Twin Flame. Those who believe they have met their Twin Flame also state that having a romantic relationship with them was so passionate they often could not last long term due to the pure raw power between them. Not many can withstand this for long durations.

There are beliefs that the concept of the Twin flame however, despite romanticism and ideas to really allow our self to “fall” in love is one of the greatest things we can do. There is a preponderance of belief that we as a society place WAY too much on finding the “right” person and trying to tie ourselves to one particular human for the rest of our lives.

As humans we do crave touch, company and find enjoyment with others. We were not made to be hermits and nor were we designed to only flourish in solitude. We are meant to get out into the world, meet people, have experiences and open ourselves to all possibilities.

Having a partner does make us feel stronger and many times it can push us forward to be the best versions of ourselves. Teaming up with another is a great and safe way to move through the world, but at the same time, there is nothing lost from doing it alone. There are beliefs that as individuals we are given all we need, and if that includes walking a solo path for a period in your life then you must trust what is best for you to evolve at this point in your journey.

Reality check… It is extremely important to remember unless and until you truly love yourself for yourself within ALL the complexities of who you are as an individual, AND are totally comfortable with who you are, it will be extremely difficult to appreciate and love another human for long periods or even a lifetime. This may be why we feel we fail at bonding with another human. We simply don’t love our pure raw and very flawed self enough, therefore how can we expect another to love us when we cannot be TOTALLY honest with ourselves?

With all this being said, here are a few parting words from the famous Elton John song which reflects perfectly that we all have our own time when it comes to meeting that special someone- “There’s a time for everyone if they only learn, that the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn, there’s a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors, when the heart of this star-crossed voyager beats in time with yours…


- From Me to You

When I worked at Hope’s Peak, I managed to get a hold of their files. Including medical records that the school helped hide.

Those children have been through hell. In the interest of good taste, I’ll spare you the details, but just imagine everything despicable act an adult could commit against a kid. They’ve probably experienced it at one point or another.

I can’t exactly say why they blame all adults for what happened to them…

…but I do empathize with them.

I suspect Towa probably manipulated those other four to simply blame all adults, and not just the adults they’ve unfortunately encountered.

You are right though…the things that happened to those children….it’s frankly disgusting….

anonymous asked:

1.You will never understand what death means to an empath because youre not one. But ill try to explain. Empaths are people who like to be selfish together. Because by being nice to others, they experience nice feelings. This is probably a mechanism created by nature to make sure the species survives. It forces us to help each other. This is why when a person dies its like a stab to the heart. We feel bad because we are seeing part of the species die, and that goes against our survival.

Thank you anon, for your insight. It’s… interesting, to say the least.

Things I’ve learned from watching Inside Out
  • Being happy does not mean everything’s ok.
  • You do not need to be happy every time.
  • Covering up your sadness with temporary happiness is not going to fix anything.
  • Crying helps.
  • Do not make big decisions when you’re angry or at the peak of your emotions.
  • Empathizing heals.
  • Real happiness can come after deep sadness. 
  • Being sad is OK.

I love this movie so much!

straycrisp  asked:

this is completely non-naruto related, but you mentioned were studying psychology and i was wondering...if schools required at least one course of psychology to be taken, do you think it would help expand people's empathy towards one another once they get a basic understanding of human behaviors and such?

I’m not studying psychology yet; I’m only taking classes. The educational system here is different, so I assume that’s why you misunderstood me. As for your initial question, experiences affect people in various ways. Why did someone decide to study psychology in the first place? An empath can relate easily to others; this natural ability may very well be what drives them to learn more about the way human beings think, feel, and behave. Perhaps they want to further understand these feelings and learn how to help others. On the other hand, a calculating individual might want to study it for rather selfish reasons. 

Thus, studying psychology doesn’t necessarily mean one will expand their empathy. Sure, anyone who chooses to study psychology will understand people’s internal workings; however, it won’t mean they will improve their own life by expanding their empathy, let alone someone who was forced to take classes in psychology. Not everyone is interested in psychology and consequently, they won’t bother to learn concepts they find boring. Not to forget that most people with low to no empathy do not see it as a problem because it usually affects those around them—not themselves.

Transgender Anger

I’m just gonna come out and say it. If you’re trans and you go on the internet and spew hatred about cis people every day, you’re a piece of shit. No, you being trans doesn’t give you some immunity from critique. It doesn’t give you an immunity from fucking anything. 

You morons go on about how scared you are to go outside because you’re afraid of getting beat up or murdered. How about you stop fucking provoking people who are not even necessarily against you? WOULDN’T THAT HELP YOUR CAUSE? Don’t you think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, being fucking polite and making a case for why you deserve respect might give you a better chance at being respected? 

If you’re genuinely scared, I fucking empathize with you. I may not understand you. Sometimes I may not even WANT to understand you, but I don’t want people to beat you up or be killed. Anyone who isn’t a fucking violent barbarian should be able to empathize with you. I understand that it’s hard. I get it. A lot of people don’t like you and some do threaten you with violence and that’s WRONG and absolutely fucked up. Is that an excuse, though?

When it comes to who you are, do you want to make excuses? You’re probably a good person, but nobody is going to see that when all you do is lash out. There are people who could easily be persuaded to be your ally and you tell them to die because they are scum. Is this who you want to be?

Why you should know an INFJ

These reasons are based on “good terms with the INFJ”

-We’re warm, gentle, and caring <3

-We empathize with many of your feelings (we feel your hurt)

-We’re committed and dedicated

-We’ll spend time with you  🕐 

-We’re great listeners, and we’re open to whatever you say

-We’re loyal, loyal, loyal, and we won’t give up on you ( ♪ Never gonna give you up  ♪ )

-We can bring out the best in you 

-We help out, a lot

-We’re passionate

-We appreciate you for who you are

-We can be introverted and extroverted

-We’ll be there to offer advice when you need it

-We’re true towards you

-We’re considerate

-We can motivate and persuade you

-We can support your cause

-We have an amazing sense of humor …. :D

-We make everything as perfect as possible 

-Friendship with an INFJ is an achievement  🌟

MY BODY IS READY FOR CAPTAIN BOOK

Please give me all the realistic content of Killian Jones, confiding in a friend, an actual, there-for-him-friend who will listen and empathize and try her best to help. Give me Killian throwing his hands in the air, pissing and moaning WHY, WHY won’t she just tell me, WHY does she have her walls up again, WHAT am I doing wrong? Give me all the healthy catharsis that exists in a way that does not harm Emma but that does allow him to express his feelings in a safe place. Give me Belle being that for him. Give me exasperation and fear and a fist banging on the table in the Jolly cabin. Give me real life, human, Killian Jones who is a man allowed to have feelings. My body is ready. 

Confession

I just got done talking to an Asian person and they said that he finds that when black people complain about representation he laughs, because Asians have it worse. I asked them why doesn’t your race start movements the way ours does (Cause when we’re in crises we got each others backs) and he essentially said that black people should fight for Asian causes. Like, wtf?? Why would you want another race speaking for you? They won’t 100% get it. I literally said Fresh off the Boat was the only legit Asian representation right now, and he still found problems with it. I wouldn’t be able to empathize to that degree, now imagine a race doing that instead of one person. Honestly, the whole time I just wanted to say “WE’RE NOT YOUR SLAVES! We’ll sympathize with you and help you out a bit but we’re not going to do YOUR work for you!”

Why does every race have this belief of “Black people should fight our causes too!” NO! We’re not your slaves, if you can’t find a voice, don’t complain about others. I mean they’ll barely speak on black issues, but we should dedicate our lives for you? Hahah, okay….

Advice for empathic or sensitive med students:

A couple months ago one of my patients committed suicide. Since I was rotating on the psych wing (which to be honest should be the only wing I rotate on but that’s a whole different mess) I was assigned to him from the moment he arrived at the hospital. After being hospitalized and after creating an arguably deep rapport he was released from the hospital. He would call me every day and ask if I could see him as a fixed psychologist. Since I do not have a license yet nor I intend to play off like I do I told him I would be willing to listen to him and give him support as a friend. This was one of my biggest mistakes. The mistake wasn’t making offering friendship, the mistake was offering a friendship to someone who viewed me as their care taker. Because that’s how we met. I broke the professional bond. I made myself Play a double role. And despite the fact he was no longer hospitalized, he continued to seek my professional help rather than seek me out as a friend. He confided in me. I listened. One day I was on a long shift and I was unavailable to speak to him for over 72 hours. Within those 72 hours he messaged me about how he felt suicidal and he must have thought I was ignoring him. He most of felt very lonely. He ended up commiting suicide. I felt very responsible for him. It’s been very hard to forgive myself.


My advice:

When you go to the hospital you should be prepared for the worst. Some times you’ll be the last one to speak to a dying cancer patient, sometimes you’ll have to break the news to the family, sometimes you will see children cry because they are terminally ill, you will see patients fighting to stay alive and you will hear patients screaming in pain.

Med school often doesn’t prepare you for this but you MUST disconnect. I’m not saying you must be apathetic but you shouldn’t take this all back home. This is in no way your fault.

Psychiatrics must be prepared to take on an environment where patients are suicidal, homicidal, hallucinating and highly dangerous.

Sometimes you’ll have long shifts and see things that will genuinely make you want to drop out or quit and you must be prepared. Meditate before your shift. Get a good night of rest. Get support from fellow students and remind yourself that you are not a magician. You cannot save everyone’s life.

Never give out your personal information or offer help to your patients outside the hospital or clinic. While his one is obvious, sometimes (like me) you just really want to help and avoid saying no. But hey, don’t sweat it! They can always visit on your shifts.

Clarke Griffin is so pure. In a world where most people deal with their pain using anger and hate, she’s a light. She could’ve lashed back out at Jasper’s anger. Instead she understood why he was angry and apologized and let him be mad at her. She could’ve been angry at Bellamy for the massacre, blamed him for all their problems, but instead she empathized with him and protected him and tried to help him. There have been so many moments where she could’ve turned her back on the sky people, when so many people would’ve just turned and run, but instead she keeps going. She’s lost so much, but instead of letting it break her down, she just keeps going. The hero we don’t deserve.

The Empathy Game

I was thinking about my dad and how he helped me to empathize when I was younger. I would come home mad, saying, “[Random Peer] did [really stupid thing] for no reason! Why don’t people make sense?!”

And Dad would say something like, “How would you have to feel to make you do [really stupid thing]?”

The first time he caught me off gaurd and I distinctly remember yelling, “I didn’t do that!!!”

He calmly said, “But I want you to really think about it: what might make you do that?”

I sat there stumped beyond all reason before he hinted and guided me along to this foreign place of understanding other people’s motivations. But here’s the kicker, just because you can tell people why they are doing something, doesn’t mean they won’t do it–a leason I learned slow and hard. But still, knowing why people did things gave me a measure of peace I didn’t know I was getting at the time: I was really crucial for me to understand people weren’t hurting me randomly otherwise maybe I’d be some world-hating homicidal mad person at this point.

Dad still had to very often remind me to think of what would drive me to other’s actions. I’m really glad he was there to ask, “Yeah but how did they feel?” to the point it finally became more habitual for me to finally start doing it myself. It was weird back then–knowing people didn’t have to sit and puzzle over that question, that they just knew somehow.

Sadly, the game changes alot more when we are finally all grown up. People are just so much more complicated now, while I remained smart but simple minded, with relatively simple emotions.

With my mate, I am often very surprised when he tells me how I feel. Initially I was like, “How did you know? I tell people exactly how I feel and they still don’t understand!”

And he replied, “That’s the trick. With other people, when someone says something as plain as you do, the assumption is that things are more complicated than they say, or that they are lying, which is why no one believes you. But I figured it out, you’re as simple as you say–there is no deeper meaning.”

(((I sat there, shocked, then realized something, “Wait… Are you saying I’m shallow?!”

And he was like, “Technically–but I don’t mean it as a bad thing!”

But it was too late! I WAS OFFENDED!!!)))

But I guess the main point of all this is that… I had the smartest person I ever knew teach me how to empathize, but everyone still grew past me. If anyone has ever felt that frustration, of finally getting it, only to have your peers reach physical and mental maturity and no longer understanding what anyone is thinking, I am in that boat. You’re not alone!!! …And hopefully I am not alone either.

// More responses to this post:

ramblingenzyme:

I would absolutely suggest Python as your first language,it’s very easy to get started and with even if it’s a bit unconventional, learn the programming concepts, then move onto a more strongly typed language, possibly C++.


electromasta:

Can’t reiterate enough how good this advice is.  Get someone to learn with.  That way you can help each other learn and empathize with each others learning process.  Just like the same way you’d go to your gym with your bros.  

Online resources are insanely helpful, and are used by people even when you GET a job because NO ONE can keep all that shit in their head anyways.  That’s why I think its also important to have some sort of mentor figure to ask for help when you get stuck and google fu doesn’t give you the answer.  Also, someone who has experience enough to be a mentor usually has connections that can help you get a job.  

Lastly, be tenacious as fuck.  You won’t learn programming by being like: “I added some numbers together in javascript, made a text adventure and checked a python book out of the library but then I went to play league of legends and runescape”

No.  You learn algorithms.  You learn data structures.  You solve hundreds of problems.  You learn exactly how terrible you are at programming, and then you get better each time.  Every time you think you’re a hotshot, you learn you fucking aren’t and you start learning again.  If you ever stop learning new tech you get thrown by the wayside.  That’s why fundamentals are so important because they apply to everything.  Get a playlist of music that is motivational as fuck.  Code and then Code some more.