WHO???? (because it sure as heck wasn’t Mr. ‘Youngjae-is-mine-and-you-can’t-even-dream-about-him’ Jaebum)
But seriously WHAT THE ACTUAL FRICKITY-FRACK???? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL, CHOI YOUNGJAE??? WHAT’S YOUR GAME??? (You want me to explode???? Well. Done. akhdKLDHAKLHA)
I mean, I thought it was bad enough when he posted that tank-top selca back in November with all that skin and that look at the camera and just….
AND THEN HE STARTED PULLING THAT CRAP WITH THE FLIRTY BED SELCAS LIKE
I never signed up for this. I was perfectly content with him being gorgeous and handsome and precious and adorable and NOT A KING OF PROBLEMATIC SELCAS.
AND THEN HE SHOWS UP AND THROWS THIS AT ME????
I just…. he just…… this just…….. there are five moles visible right there AND THREE OF THEM ARE ON HIS NECK AND SHOULDER and my brain can NO LONGER COMPUTE BYE.
Listen. I am all for an appreciation for how gorgeous Youngjae is, but COULD HE HAVE TONED IT DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT??? I mean. We’re talking about his eyes being all cute and gorgeous and aimed right at us, and that’s enough already, but then he’s got his adorable nose looking even more precious upside-down, and his precious little ears being so incredibly cute and totally visible next to his TWO-TONED HAIR STYLE THAT LOOKS SO GOOD??? AND HIS JAWLINE LOOKING SO NICE EVEN WITH THE WEIRD FILTER??? AND THEN HIS LIPS BEING ALL PINK AND POUTY AND JUST—no. I can’t. And we hAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN PAST HIS FACE YET. ANON. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??? I’VE BEEN TRYING TO REPRESS THIS IN ORDER TO LIVE AND NOW. That neckline. That nape. Those collarbones. Those broad shoulders. THOSE FRICKING MOLES BEING ALL THERE AND VISIBLE AND ADORABLE AND– I don’t have a thing about his moles. What are you talking about?
I’m not okay, anon. Why does he do this to me? Why??
Where do I even start with this precious bean!? Okay. Okay, let’s start with this. Look at that cutie pie up there. Look close. You see those gigantic, adorable eyes? You see that one MISSING TOOTH THAT IS TOO CUTE FOR WORDS!? You see those blushy little baby cheeks? YOU SEE THIS INNOCENT TINY CUTE???
Something like 500 years later.
Hi I think I hurt myself.
But okay here’s the thing. If this was the extent of Joris’ character depth, I would already be in love, okay? I would already be crying over this amazing character if it was just LOOK AT THIS TINY BEAN WHO BECAME A STRONG AND QUIET AMBASSADOR WHO CAN TAKE DOWN AN ENTIRE PALACE FULL OF GUARDS WHILE BARELY TOUCHING THEM OR DEFEAT RAZORTIME IN A SINGLE HIT WHY DID HE HAVE TO GROW UP AND STOP BEING THE PRECIOUS DORK BUT ALSO HE IS SO COOL NOW.
That would be enough, but NO. This is fricking JORIS JURGEN we’re talking about here.This is not a tiny precious thing who grew into a badass. He is a tiny precious thing who CONTINUES TO BE A TINY PRECIOUS THING HUNDREDS OF YEARS LATER. Want proof??
He's already dead. You can't fight him, anymore...
This dude's already a badass and you wanna fight him? You're gonna be left with scars and bruises. Or worse, lying on the ground, not moving at all.
-NOT ME. ITS THAT MEMBER OF GUTTER KITTENS.- FIGHT THIS BITCH.
Same as Natasha.
She's on your side and also why would you wanna fight her?
Poor Arjun being beaten up by you. He doesn't do anything wrong.
First of all, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO FIGHT THIS CINNAMON ROLL? Second, ZACK WILL FIGHT YOU IF YOU WANT TO FIGHT BRANDON.
You better fight her. She's already sexual harrasing James.
Don't you dare to fight this precious cinnamon roll. She's already being held hostage by John Tull and Hayley Rose and she needs to be protected. Don't fight her, please.
Again, this guy didn't do anything wrong to you. There's no reason to fight him. Unless, if you're the antagonist/hero in the movie that you're starring alongside him and he's the hero/antagonist.
She'll call her lawyers if you wanna fight her.
Capt. Dana Beckham:
You dare to fight with a superior of the Los Angeles Police Department? You're gonna be thrown into jail for sure.
Officer Rebecca McKenzie:
Don't fight with a freaking police officer. You'll end up in jail. You can't run from your crimes.
You're gonna lose if you're not careful with him "playing dirty", but sure fight him.
Prince Tevan Drammir:
He'll fight you if you wanna fight him.
Queen of daggers, bad idea.
She and her brother Noa will have their combo move and you had no chance on winning.
Same as Kailani.
This fire master would probably burn you to death. No kidding.
FIGHT HER. (bruh this was before she has a sudden change of heart) Ok, maybe bad idea.
Heh, he'll beat you up first. Now that he's dead...
The Mechateur from The Foundry:
Bad idea. *cues the "You have died." screen*
The Bear recruited from Aurelia:
The Bear will eat you before you could even fight it. *cues the "You have died." screen*
MAMA KRAKEN'S SO READY TO KILL YOU.
Like I said above for the Baby Kraken.
FIGHT HER FOR KILLING LEON BUT YOU NEED TO BE STRONGER THAN HER.
Why do you want to fight with your own sister? There's no sibling rivalry in your family. Unless, there's a cookie left... maybe?
Same as Party Twin.
He's your own brother... he will protect you for those people who wants to fight you. Unless when it comes down to "only one left" piece of food... maybe?
Elena is just a precious cinnamon roll that there's no reason to fight with her. Unless you mess with her, she looks like she can break your bones.
You're gonna get fired from Nomade. Lmao.
There's nothing to fight with him. Why bother?
She's trying to fail you and your siblings for the inheritance. GO FIGHT HER.
FIGHT THIS BITCH.
William Sloan, Rich Businessman:
He's a sweetheart. Why would you want to fight him? He has lawyers too.
Prince Leo of Cordonia, RoE:
No comment, honestly.
Um... he used to be in the military so I guess he knows how to fight so...
There's completely no reason to fight with her.
Fight him for being a fricking arse.
Diego Ortiz Soto:
You'll regret this for the rest of your lives. Don't fight him, please. If you still want to fight him, -1000000 friendship points with Diego.
Hahahahahaha... ha... ha... sure, if you DARE, Princess/Boy Scout.
DON'T FIGHT THIS PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL. If you do, -1000000 friendship points with Quinn.
Wait you really want to fight this quarterback? Here's a story, Sean has hard abs and looks like he can crush your trachea. RIP you. Cause of death is asphyxiation because Sean crushed your trachea.
You fight her, you get -1000000 friendship points with Michelle.
If you win, Craig will praise you. If Craig wins, you have to do his betting.
Again, why would you want to do it so? -1000000 friendship points with Raj.
Heh. No big deal for her. *smirks like Zahra*
Aleister Rourke II:
He's up for a challenge.
-1000000 friendship points with Grace and Aleister. Also, Aleister will fight you if you dare to fight Grace.
You and her are gonna fight. A probability of 1/2 for you to win and another 1/2 for Estela to win. Dare to do it?
Woah, if you get on her bad side, she'll probably electrocute you with her traps.
You HAD to.
Same as the Watchers.
Same as the Watchers and Sabertooth.
Everett A. Rourke I:
Ok but fight him because he's the one who trapped y'all in La Huerta but then again, he's hibernating in a pod so...
I seriously don't know dude. Maybe you guys fight in a game of Scrabble or something. No physical strength involve.
You wanna fight her? She also wants to fight you. *plays Wild West fight scenario music*
But... why? Poor Brooke.
Did Cole did anything wrong to you? Right, he was drunk and casually said that Mark's in love with Dani. Uh...
Why do you wanna fight this cinnamon roll? Horatio didn't do anything wrong to you. How dare you? Did I mention that he's really jacked up?
FIGHT THIS DOUCHEBAG.
FIGHT HIM AND TJ.
Maybe you guys challenge each other in a spicy food eating contest.
Isabel looks like she can break your bones.
Um, she's dead. (in my game)
He's dead and if he was alive, you still can't fight him because he's a precious cinnamon roll that needs to be protected at all costs.
Same as Simon.
Same as his siblings.
Victor's been nothing but a love interest/best friend to you and being in a fight with him is just... not right.
She's dead but if she was alive, FIGHT HER FOR WHAT SHE DID TO HER CHILDREN.
She just came here to have a good time and honestly feeling so attacked right now. No, don't fight her.
Or Zenobia Nevrakis? Jk, she's a descendant. Fight her I guess?
*casually has Hotline Bling in my head* I dunno. Some of y'all still dislike/hate him and some of y'all had a change of heart. Ok let me tell you what, you and him should race down the snowy hills, which you guys did.
Prince Liam of Cordonia, from TRR:
I don't think there's even a reason to fight with him...
There's no reason for you to fight him, unless PB will cause a plot twist to his character like I've seen there's a "Maxwell is evil" theory. As long as he's still the guy who loves cronuts, please do not fight him.
Damian went on patrol and didn't come back. Tim (stayed at home for whatever reason) freaked out and searched frantically every corner of Gotham for him. Turned out that Dami found a bunch of kitties and stayed out to cuddle and coo at them all night.
Omg that’s so precious!
But— imagine this as BATMAN DAMI??? Damian turned off his tracker and Tim’s seriously worried that Batman’s in trouble, so he goes out looking for him, scours the city by rooftop for sign of the bat. FINALLY he finds gigantic-looming-billowing-black-trenchcoat-shaved-head-Damian crouched down in an alley, picking up kittens one by one to rub against his uncowled face.
Tim would have a freaking heart attack, like WHAT THE FRICK ARE YOU DOING whY did you turn your tracker off (he knows why) and WHERE’S YOUR COWL YOU’RE COMPROMISING YOUR IDENTITY ANYONE COULD COME DOWN HERE AND SEE YOU. And Damian’s just smiles and is like, -tt- not anyone would be able to come up behind me - just you, beloved, because I let you.
And Tim’s like. Great GREAT you just revealed our relationship to each other out in the open, perfect for anyone listening in who wants to manipulate us in the future. That’s a THIRD safety protocol violated, rly great work Batman, outstanding job tonight. And Damian’s like, /sigh/ fiNE if it’ll make you happy— and pulls his cowl back up, and then stands up and in his hands he’s cupping one of the kittens and is like. “Here, look at this one. Doesn’t he remind you of Todd?” and Tim snorts because omg the cat seriously does look like Jason, with the little “bang” markings on his forehead and baby hisses. And immediately the tension goes down and Damian explains that he’s been socializing them for the last two days but hasn’t been able to successfully herd them all together to take them home so they don’t turn out feral… And Tim’s like, well, seeing as there’s now four hands between us, I can probably help catch them… :)
and together they get all the kittens into a box and Tim holds them and rides on the back of Damian’s motorcycle and they go home and YAY KITTENS!!!! Then Tim and Damian having to stay up all night caring for baby kittens around the clock :’) and the two of them laying in bed trying to sleep but tiny kitten vermin crawling all over them :’) and Tim falling asleep at his desk with one kitten napping on the back of his head and the others crowded around his face almost suffocating him, and Damian walks in and is like omg TIM UR DROOLING ON OUR KITTENS, STOP, YOU’LL TRAUMATIZE THEM :’) and then Damian trying to compete with Tim like “I bet I’ll socialize these two kittens faster than you’ll socialize those two” and Tim’s like HA u wish have u SEEN me with animals i have a giFT cats can’t leave me alone they love me, and Damian’s just like >:) uh huh sure Drake sure >:)
/////sobs into hands i’m sorry, this headcanon ran away from me sorry.…
in a dark suit was speaking, but Maddie couldn’t hear her. She didn’t need to;
she knew that the words would be pretty, but ultimately meaningless. She hadn’t
known him, after all. To her, he was just another name on a sheet of paper, a
list of personal details to touch on, a memory belonging to other people. A
box, a speech, and a stone.
couldn’t feel the fingers on her right hand anymore. Sophie had squeezed them
to tingles. She was still squeezing them. Sam was on her other side; Maddie
could hear the tremor in his breathing as he tried to control himself for the
sake of little Delia and the even tinier Andel, who sat between his new
siblings and his adoptive grandpa, watching everything with a vaguely
bewildered solemnity that didn’t belong on his six-year-old face.
tried not to look his way, because whenever she did she saw “Tyrone Pines” at
the end of their row, black-suited and straight-faced, staring at the speaker
and the box and the hole in the ground as if none of it even mattered.
son, brother, father and friend…”
Well, Maddie thought, bitter ice
spreading with every breath she took and numbing her heart and mind, there’s three out of four, at least.
how would genji, mccree, and lucio go about telling their soon-to-be S/O that they've secretly loved them for a while? (and the boys' reaction to that S/O answering them in the form of a kiss >:3c)
Genji: Would tell them a huge, long ass analogy about fishing or something, and would wonder if they get it when they’re like wtf bro??? and then he just sighs and tells them. They giggle before softly asking if he’ll take off his mask. He does, hesitantly, and they softly kiss his lips before stating that they’re in love with him too.
McCree: Tells them flat out, then tries to run away. Bonus if his soon-to-be-s/o literally fucking lassos him and pulls him close before kissing him deeply and chuckling ‘Knew you were hot for me, baby,’ then slaps his ass and walks off for him to chase after them. They frick right after.
Lùcio: Is the most creative, and makes an album. First and last letter of every song confesses his love, and they’re all love songs. When his soon-to-be-s/o hears it, they’re like wat???? and then they get it and he’s just smiling like a precious boi, and it’s so cute they can’t not love him like omg why would you turn him down????
i’m honestly so there for Celaena and Rowan to do the frick frack in Queen of Shadows but i’m also so there for Celaena to reunite with Chaol and have intense i-missed-you-sex but i’m also so there for Celaena to be like why did i ever leave you Dorian you’re so precious and you’ve grown so much lets be together forever not to mention i’d also be so there for Celaena to cross paths with Manon and… well you get the picture
why are we not talking about how twelve literally abandoned his best friend of however many years to go die for someone he’s known for a few weeks? that’s not sweet or cute. that’s like, the biggest dick move in the world don’t glorify this nonsense