why is this show turning me on so much

i watch it play out on my facebook feed. a cutesy video plays about a wife and a husband texting each other. she bothers him with messages, he almost types “fuck off bitch” but says something nice instead. in this video, the wife is at fault. he doesn’t listen to her, he doesn’t come home, he ignores her messages. she’s a crazy bitch for getting mad at him. 

my teacher asked us why marriage rates are going down. what do i know. i see instagram posts where a girl makes a joke about chloroforming a boy and i don’t find it funny. i see plenty of people who are perfectly happy and i see just as many who are broken, deeply. i see boys all the time unable to meet their girlfriend halfway - stuck, somehow, wanting to be open but knowing he can’t be. there’s a theory that the reason so many women are unhappy is that women have multiple deeply intimate relationships in their friend groups while men only have a partner. isn’t that sad. isn’t it strange. 

the girl i knew in high school says “omfg this is me and u dan”. she’s talking about a post where married couples want to kill each other. my mother once asked me why i am so scared of touching. why the first time people show affection is the same time i start running. the comedian onstage uses his wife as a trampoline. all around me, people are laughing. the trouble is that jokes always have a bit of truth in them. i almost text him “haven’t heard from you in a while” but instead i turn off my phone. 

there’s a lot of things i don’t understand, i guess. bachelor parties where everyone gets wrecked to celebrate his last days of “freedom”. the idea men are giving up so much to be with just one woman. the idea that a woman who is showing toxic behavior is just a bitch, and not a serious threat. what do i know. sometimes it makes me sick. when i was little i believed in love. 

but why do people constantly equate nightmares with marriage?

Starters | Heroes & Villains

|HERO|

“You’re not getting away this time!”

“Your tools are impressive, but they can’t beat natural born power.”

“Don’t you ever grow weary of the same routine?”

“You’re a monster.”

“I must say, of all the people I put behind bars, you’ve got to be the worst.”

“I don’t want to play your sick mind games, I’m not one of your victims!”

“You can’t control me like you can your little puppets, can you?”

“Ugh, I feel bad for whoever has to sort all this mess out.”

“I’m just…tired. I’m tired of everyone’s lives lying on my shoulders.”

“Why can’t these people just learn to take care of themselves?”

“I enjoy my work, I’m a savior! I wouldn’t trade that for anything!”

|VILLAIN|

“What’s the matter, are you afraid of me? Good.”

“I have to say, you are giving me quite a bit of trouble.”

“You’re about to piss me off, brat.”

“Come on, you can get out of that, can’t you? At least try.”

“Go on, at least put on a show if you’re going to challenge me.”

“The last guy didn’t end up so well, if you’ve heard. I admire your bravery.”

“As much as I appreciate tenacity, I don’t appreciate annoying flies interrupting my plans.”

“Now that I’ve got you, what should I do first?”

“Relax, kiddo. Not everyone’s out here for mass murder or world domination. Maybe I just wanted to take this car for a joy ride.”

“Why do you always have to ruin my fun?”

“Why did I turn bad? Why do heroes ask such inane questions?”

“You don’t need to understand me, I don’t WANT you to understand me!”

“Not everyone can be pulled into the light, hero.”

Writing is Hard, Part 5: Headcanons

Summary: Dean shows the reader that there’s truth to a famous headcanon.

Read Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 3000ish

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. Hope you enjoy! (Sorry, tag list is closed!) XOXO


“Reading anything good?” Dean asks.

Sam’s inside the gas station, picking up some snacks instead of listening to this conversation, so your face doesn’t feel the need to flush with embarrassment. Dean already knows exactly what you’re reading.

“I guess,” you tell him. No need to feed his ego by telling him how hot the story is.

“What is it?”

Keep reading

It’s You That I Hold Onto (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Originally posted by sweetly87

✩ prompt: a lovely anon message a few posts back :) includes a jelly reader and an overprotective thunderbird

✩ word count: a fair amount idk man

✩ warnings: so sweet u could possibly get a toothache :(

It’s You That I Hold Onto

It’s a typical Saturday evening in the Goldstein residence (plus a few), Queenie and Jacob waltzing to sleepy crackling records, dappled golden mid-winter light on the wallpaper, the smell of something delicious wafting from the kitchen. 

Everything seems perfect to Y/N as she makes her way to the living room, her brilliant crimson skirt swishing rather gracefully about her waist, her hair (for once!) cooperating falling over her shoulders smoothly.

Queenie smiles at her, elegantly breaking away from Jacob to switch which record is playing, new music erupting from the golden phonograph.

“Would ya’ care to dance?” Jacob asks, giving her a rather sloppy grin and holding out his hand.

Y/N nods gleefully, enjoying the time with one of her best friends as the stout man spins her about the room, Queenie clapping to the music.

Newt’s eyes flick to the duo dancing gleefully through the living room, his gaze caught on the pretty woman in his arms. How that skirt shows off her hips-

He looks away immediately, blushing and mentally kicking himself for being “an absolute bloody creep.”

Keep reading

  • Allura: I don’t understand why you wasted another night on a quest no one’s ever going to solve.
  • Pidge: Princess, I am way too sleep-deprived to deal with your negativity right now. Let me show you what I did. I started off by making a map of all of the conflicts that have gone down in the Universe since five thousand years ago to see if there was a pattern. That led me to this.
  • *Turns on a map of the Galaxy where almost all of it is covered in red dots to indicates Battles*
  • Pidge: There is so much war in Universe. No one should live here.

Join us this Monday, May 29, in trending #MaggieMatters on twitter. 

From her first episode, Maggie has had such an important impact on so many people. We fell in love with her, as Alex did, we supported her, smiled with her, cried for her, and we want it to last. This is why it is now important to let everyone know just how much she means to all of us. Be loud, be loving, and share with the producers, writers, actors and official accounts what Maggie Sawyer means to you

We will be trending on Monday and we will make our voices heard on twitter. 

Here’s a list of people to send your stories to, as well as examples of tweets you can send and important things to keep in mind to ensure this trend is a success!

Important guidelines:

  • do NOT use the hashtag until the trending time, it would difficult our efforts. 
  • turn on your tweets location, if twitter can’t locate our tweets it won’t register as a worldwide trend 
  • be respectful, don’t antagonize the writers, producers, the cast and the crew
  • don’t forget to tag the writers and producers, as well as Floriana in some of your tweets. Let her know how and why Maggie is important to you. 
  • speak from the heart

Examples of tweets: 

  • #MaggieMatters because she helped me accept myself and be unapologetic about who I am and who I love
  • There’s so much left to explore regarding Maggie! Please keep her in the show for a long time #MaggieMatters
  • Maggie taught me that despite life’s hardships, you can come out stronger and kinder from it all #MaggieMatters

People to contact (writers, producers and crew) 

True Story

For the longest time I thought “the twist” was going to be that Reinhardt’s skins that show his face were like origin skins showing him at an earlier point in history, and that in the present timeframe he was supposed to be like a ghost-in-the-shell type human consciousness uploaded to a robotic suit of armour. Which would explain why the helmet on the masked skins is so much smaller than his head on the unmasked ones, as well as why the Blackhardt skin appears to have a furnace in the gut instead of anything resembling a human body.

Plus it’d be extra sad with all these old Overwatch guys everyone thought were dead coming back and revealing they were faking it, then it turns out the only one who actually died was the one no one realized or mourned.

Some eventful days at college

-my best friend was accused of attempted murder by my uni. It was so scary and ridiculous at the same time. We were freshmen. She asked me to witness at court, in the end the charges were dropped.
-me and my other friends trespassed into a morgue. We got caught and the guard let us off with a warning. He told us not to get spooked on our way down.
-kids deadass watching porn on their laptops while the professors do not give a single shit
-there was a bomb threat on the day of prelim exams and everyone was evacuated. The bomb threat was apparently made by a bunch of seniors who wanted to delay the exam dates.
-I forgot to watch the weather while on my way to Uni and I was asleep on the bus. Too sleepy to notice it was storming. The bus got caught in a flood and as I went down, the water reached to my knees. I had to wade through waist-deep flood to go down like four blocks to get home. It was Bad Scoob.
-literally just. Professors showing up to class /reeking/ of weed. One professor swaggered into class and started teaching analytical geometry and everyone was just. Sitting there trying to tell him it was a Marketing Strategies class
-I accidentally joined a one day recreational class on veganism.
- I get this sounds like a Classic ™ Tumblr story but I had this professor who was always an emotional Mess. He showed up to class one day hungover, with his shirt inside out, stained, eyes red, and flip flops.
-he went into class and asked us to turn off the lights. He went to his desk while the rest of us were sitting in silence and the man just. Starts crying. “I don’t even know why I’m crying, guys. I’m sorry. Give me a second to gather myself.” And he slammed his fist on the table. “I hate this class so fucking much.”

Me regarding love in LWA

So.. anyone remember this? My very succinct review of Episode 10.

Because it is time to talk a bit about this character, Andrew Hanbridge. First things first:

I don’t dislike Andrew

I think he’s a decent character and have gotten better characterization after his first two appearances, but that he was implemented in a bad way and got put in a show where he wasn’t truly needed.

Because that is the thing, Andrew was introduced in the LWA series rather than in the OVAs.

A big appeal of Little Witch Academia’s OVAs for many people (myself included) was the fact that it had an all-girls cast. It is exceedingly rare for an anime to have an all-girls cast and to not be revolving around blatant ‘girly’ themes. Little Witch Academia is not inherently girly, it is just a bunch of teenage girls learning to become witches. By cutting away the boys, the series removed the need to include common teenage girl depiction tropes such as excessive focus on romance, boys, looks etc. Instead the series allows the different girls’ character traits and interests come to the fore.

However, with the introduction of Andrew in the series, Trigger regressed to rely on some of these clichés. In the first episode Andrew appears, all the students go gaga for this stoic, aloof guy solely because he is famous and rumoured to be handsome. So basically all the witch students of Luna Nova (except Lotte, Sucy and Diana) are shown to be gossipy, superficial teenage girls. This portrayal betrays the series earlier depiction of varied and multifaceted girl characters. If a pretty boy is around, then they get reduced to this one-dimensional clichéd stereotype. So the way Andrew was implemented into the series detracts from one of the strong points of the series.

What is Andrew’s role in the series? Reportedly, Trigger wanted him to be Akko’s connection to the ‘muggle’ world, so to speak. But personally, very seldom does he feel like he actually fulfils that purpose.

Instead, it feels like he mostly just behaves like a male ‘Diana’ and made to appear in scenarios where Diana couldn’t perform the same function. Both come from aristocratic families, both are well-spoken and rational-minded, both use careful rational rhetoric to solve problems and both of their character growths’ is because of them continually being amazed and inspired by Akko.

But why? Why would you keep around two characters that are so similar in personality and in character development (at least on paper)?

This is why Andrew being teased as a romantic interest to Akko feels like such a slap in the face to everyone who loved Akko and Diana’s chemistry already back in the OVAs. It makes it seem that Andrew wasn’t introduced despite Diana already existing, but because of it. Like Trigger wanted to cash in on Diana and Akko’s chemistry but turn it into something more ‘acceptable’ for the general audience.

But this is where Trigger confuses the hell out of me. If Andrew is the endgame romantic interest, why isn’t it more clearly established at this point? Why has there been so relatively little time for developing Akko and Andrew together then? Why did Trigger go full speed ahead to develope and show how much Akko and Diana deeply care for eachother rather than with Akko and Andrew instead? Why is there so much focus on and interaction between Akko and Diana in the openings, while Andrew is barely there and doesn’t appear together with Akko?

And to quote from this:

There is only one character holding hands with Akko in the OP. And that character isn’t Andrew.

Because there is one thing that makes me mad, and that is ‘Dianakko’ detractors that refuse to acknowledge Akko and Diana’s deeper connection.

Because the way Akko and Diana have grown so close, despite their differences and initial misunderstandings, shows that there is an unspoken deeper bond between them. Even when they looked down on eachother, they still both show admiration and care for eachother, with neither of them knowing why. There was something that slowly over time drew them closer.

So I must say, as a lesbian, the level of affection displayed by Diana and Akko is to me beyond than ‘just being friends’.

If anyone would carelessly throw themselves into danger to save me like Diana and Akko do for eachother;

if anyone would scream with a desperate worry for me like Diana and Akko do for eachother;

if anyone would keep looking at me with a look full of care and concern like how Akko and Diana look at eachother;

if anyone would tell me to keep trying and chase my dreams, while grabbing my hands and being moved to tears, like how Akko did to Diana;

if anyone would tell me “You continue to astonish me in unexpected ways” while them thinking about every time I’ve amazed and impressed them like Diana did to Akko;

if anyone invited me on a broom like this

or if anyone looked at me like this before replying to my invititation;

if anyone would do such things like these, I would consider them loving me.

However, some people will never accept two girl characters loving each other unless they are being intimately physically affectionate, like kissing eachother. Until they are, it can be handwaved away and be explained that they are just “Gal Pals”, “very good friends” and so on.

If we switched out Diana above for Andrew, so that Akko and Andrew had shared all those interactions, you would definitely see people claiming that they are in love based on those.

This is a double standard that is sadly very real in real life too. Girl-loving girls have to go great lengths for their love to be considered “real” in the eyes of some.

Something that made me feel like I had giant pit in my stomach around the time Episode 10 was released, was how some ‘Ankko’ posts included gifs like these:

What the actual fuck? These moments were somehow considered “sweet Ankko moments” by some fans. One shows Akko being hurt by Andrew, while the other show how Akko very uncomfortably gets forcibly pushed to the wall by a love-drugged Andrew.

Both of these moments made me feel highly uncomfortable and feel genuine distress for Akko in these situations when I watched them. Neither of these abusive moments should be considered sweet or romantic. It is not a good representation of ‘Ankko’ or even Andrew himself alone. And I feel I can’t take any criticism of Dianakko in any serious regard from anyone who did feel these moments were “romantic”.

For me, ‘Dianakko’ is not a case of fanservice, it is a matter of representation.

Either on purpose or by accident, Trigger has managed to write one of the most heartfelt and organic depictions in animation of two girls managing to put aside their vast differences and come to closely understand eachother through what at least I would describe as love. I don’t even ‘need’ A Big Damn Kiss or a dramatic declaration of love. I’d rather want an ending more like the ending of The Legend of Korra, with Akko and Diana leaving together on a broom, to work on a shared future and a shared dream, with room for them growing further closer together and figure out what it means for them. Depictions of girls deeply caring for each other and slowly falling in love are rare outside shows not specifically focusing on girls’ love, thus I feel Diana and Akko are important.

I hope that Trigger soon either finally cements a final pairing and gently lets one part down, or that there will be no confirmed endgame romance. Trigger’s vagueness is just tiring at this point.

So I’m sorry Trigger and Andrew, but I’ve actually had enough of this dude.

Personal Assistant (Jason Todd x Reader)

So this one is has a few warnings, Sexual harassment and a few swears. Nothing too bad.


Working as Bruce Wayne’s personal assistant had its perks. Working in a great building with a brilliant mind. Getting a handsome paycheck which was paying off your student debts. Having a job that finally got you parents off your backs for ‘throwing your life away.’

Working as Bruce Wayne’s personal assistant also had its downsides. Knowing that Bruce is the Batman, but not being able to tell Bruce you know. You are in a constant need for caffeine the people at the coffee shop across the street know your name, you figured the caped crusader deserved your help after all the help he did for this city. The fact that your parents are now bugging you about getting a nice boyfriend who treats you right.

Keep reading

the lover

hi pals, this is part two to the fighter. i hope you all like it!! thank you for all the love you’ve given the fighter

warning: smut

masterlist

questions, comments, concerns

Harry groggily starts to blink awake at the sound of his alarm. He quickly reaches over and taps his phone to quiet it, your quiet moan vibrating across his skin.

He smiles at the sensation, but he really has to go to work and you’re currently laying on top of him. You usually got into bed after him and since Harry typically fell asleep on his stomach, you would crawl on top of his back, kissing his shoulders as you settle on your stomach and wrapping your arms around his abdomen.

You were most affectionate when you were sleepy, always wanting a kiss, whining when Harry stopped playing with your hair, asking him to hold you. Harry thought it was adorable (he hadn’t taken you for someone who’d want a cuddle in bed) but it became sort of an inconvenience when he had to wake up before you.

“Hey,” He whispers now, “I’m gonna slide you off my back now, alright?”

Keep reading

Not good enough

Prompt: “Do you have any idea how many people are dead because I wasn’t clever enough, wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t good enough?”

word count: 1260

warnings: angst

Originally posted by hardyness

Being Peter Parker best friend wasn’t an easy task. The boy was the most unselfish, caring and intelligent person you have met, however he was also the most oblivious one. He didn’t seem to notice how you were totally in love with him and had been for a couple of months now. The only person who knew was Aunt May, who insisted you told him about your feelings since he probably felt the same way.

“ I just know it Y/n! Can’t you trust me on this one?” you remember  May saying  as she tried to convince you of asking Peter out.

You wanted to, you really wanted to believe her, however you knew that was impossible, so you just keep on pretending that everything was fine and there were strictly platonic feelings. Although it was really hard for you, specially as you were heading to Peter’s to watch a movie together. The sort of things a couple will do in a date. Except you weren’t a couple, and it wasn’t a date.

Whatever, you were settled for pinning after Peter in silence.

                  —

Peter was supposed to be home after the Stark internship, however he wasn’t there yet. As you waited for the boy to arrive you lied on Peter’s bed and closed your eyes for just a moment.

After what felt like minutes later but was probably hours you heard some shuffling around, excited to see Peter again you lifted the covers but instead of finding your best friend you saw spiderman crawling down from the ceiling.

As you realized that his back was facing you, you quietly got out of bed and stood behind him, trying to be as quiet and quick as possible. You lifted your right arm above his head and pulled his mask to you, revealing a brunette haired boy in front of you.

You couldn’t believe what you were seeing, it couldn’t be true.

“Pe-Peter? Is that you?” you stuttered, trying to calm yourself down

“What are you doing here?” His voice was low and it sounded kind of, angry? He still wasn’t facing you even though all you wanted was to see his eyes.

“I was waiting for you! How long has this been going on?” Despite your words Peter was still facing the wall “ Look at me Peter!”

He finally turned around but he kept his eyes locked to the ground as he said

“You were never supposed to find out, now that you know you can’t be here; you have to go!”

Why on earth wouldn’t he want her to know? They were best friends, they were supposed to tell each other everything!

“Why didn’t you want me of know? Do you not trust me anymore?”

His eyes locked at you with a glint of confusion and hurt. Of course he trusted you, but he had to protect you. He approached you and grabbed your shoulders as he said

“I do trust you, God Y/n I trust you more than I trust myself, but- but is not is safe for you! And I never wanted you to know who I am”

“Peter are you kidding? You are a freaking superhero! You have saved so many people! Why wouldn’t you tell me?!”

This was too much. Peter couldn’t stand there while you praised him for such things. Had he saved people? yes, but he had also let so many people down. So many people he couldn’t stop or save. It was just a matter of time before someone figured out his feelings for you and tried to hurt you. He didn’t deserve your love let alone your friendship. He didn’t deserve you.

“ I’m not as good as you think I am.”As you looked into your eyes you could see how fragile and weak this boy really was, how much he was hurting.

“Peter I know you. You are the same guy who helps old ladies find their way to the subway, the kind of person to help a little girl get her cat back from a tree, you helped me so much when I lost my father, with or without the mask you are still that guy”

“All I ever wanted was to protect you and Aunt May, I couldn’t bare to lose any of you! You have to stay away from me or they’ll come to get you!”

“Peter before I knew about you being spider man I could have gotten killed as well and it didn’t happen! And anyways, who is them?”

Was Peter in any sort of danger? Is that why he wanted you away?

Up to this point you have both tried to keep your voices down, however as the argument got more heated you started to raise your voices as well.

“Do you know how many people want me dead? They will do anything to get to me! Including hurting you!”

“Why would they hurt me?!”

“Because I love you! I love you more than anything! And if anything happens to you because of me, because of who I am I wouldn’t forgive myself!”

Peter gasped in horror as he realized what he had just said. He couldn’t believe he had said that out loud and neither could you. Did he really meant it?

He tried to push you away and turn around but you cupped his face before he could do so. You stared into his eyes and tried to show him how much he meant to you, how much you cared for him.

“Pete, I love you so much, I have loved you for a while now”

You brought you face close to him ready to kiss him until he mumbled under his breath.

“You shouldn't”

“Mmmh?” What was Peter saying?

“You shouldn’t love me, I’m not good for you” He tried to push you away one more time as he said, “Do you have any idea how many people are dead because I wasn’t clever enough, wasn’t quick enough, wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t good enough?”

It finally hit you. Peter felt so guilty over so many things that weren’t his fault. He was still punishing himself for deaths and accidents that weren’t him to blame.

“Peter you are the best person I know. You are the only one who knows all my fears, what makes me laugh and what will make me cry. You know exactly what to say and do to make me happy. And all those deaths, they are not your fault Peter! You are not a bad person, if anything you are the most noble and brave guy I know”

You approached him once again, this time holding him near to you as you hugged him. You lifted your face to see he’s already staring at you. There was truly nobody else who could make you as happy as he did.

You stared at his lips as both of you got closer, closing the distance between you. Finally after what felt like an eternity his lips touched yours, colliding into a sweet kiss that you’ve both been waiting since a long time ago. You grabbed the back of his head and pulled his hair as he brought you even closer. After a few moments you both pulled away trying to calm down your breathing, your forehead touching with his.

When you finally opened you eyes and saw his you felt safer than anywhere else, You both knew this was exactly where you belonged. In the arms of each other.

“Peter, there is no one else I rather be with”

Imagine Peter Parker Falling in Love with You...

[he would literally be staring at you all day.]

[yet being the oblivious girl you are, you always figured that he’s looking at someone else.]

[your friends would literally tell you/alert you of peter’s blatant staring.]

[“yo that parker kid is staring at you again.”]

[you always replying something along the lines of “nah he’s probs staring at liz, i mean her makeup is always on point.”]

[peter blushes every time he sees you biting down on your lips.]

[it’s so sexy to him.]

[he wishes he could bite down on your lips before kissing you sweetly.]

[he always wants to treat you sweetly.]

[peter never paying attention in class as he writes love notes to you he knows he’ll never have the courage to send]

[you’re like a fucking goddess walking these halls of midtown high, and a commoner like me could never be suited for you.]

[gets super pissed when flash flirts with you.]

[daydreams about you and him together 24/7.]

[constantly getting teased by ned.]

[“dude, you’re spiderman, how can you be so terrified of one girl??”]

[petey gets like rlly flustered when he listens to you fangirling about spiderman.]

[“i wish spiderman would hold me in his arms while swinging me around the city with his webshooters. that would be so wonderful.”]

[he grants your wish a few times, acting like peter and him being spiderman are totally separate entities.]

[shares his first kiss with you as spiderman because he’s much more confident with the suit on.]

[but you figured out that spiderman was peter parker all along since you recognized his voice and jawline.]

[“i actually like you a lot, peter. yet i figured i never had a chance with you because wow i can never compete with liz.”]

[“more like liz could never compete with you.”]

[when you two are officially dating, peter adores showing you off to the world ((aka the kids at midtown))]

[he still stares at you because he cannot believe you are his.]

[protects you all the time from any impending danger.]

[like, if he’s by himself and flash somehow ////accidentally//// throws a fucking basketball at his head, he’ll take it in stride to keep up with his -i’m still a weak nerd have mercy on me- façade.]

[however, if you’re next to him and flash decides to aim a ball or any mundane item at you at all, peter will let his t r u e c o l o r s show and catch that item without batting an eyelash, making sure that it would never collide with your form.]

[flash is all like “????? the fuck when did this nERD get reflexes?????”]

[and peter just glares at him and goes “fuck with me all you want, but involve my girl I will lITERALLY FIGHT U.”]

[late night slumber parties and cuddles with him during weekends.]

[peter loving to be the big spoon because he gets to have your back pressed against his chest while he sifts through your soft strands of hair with his nose.]

[absolutely adores any scent of shampoo you use.]

[gets embarrassingly turned on when you wear your spiderman shirt to bed as pajamas.]

[“peter, why are you blushing so much? This shirt is so big on me that it hardly shows any skin.”]

[keeps telling you that you’re so fucking adorable and sexy to him.]

[ends up kissing you a lot every time you wear anything spiderman related.]

[you could be wearing spiderman socks and he’d still kiss you like crazy.]

[him spoiling you with his affections]

[you also spoiling him with YOUR affections.]

[movie dates all the time.]

[peter parker just being the best fucking boyfriend ever. good god i need a peter parker in my life.]

Originally posted by neqns

things to say before it’s too late / clay jensen

title: things to say before it’s too late

warnings: depression, suicide, lowkey angst

word count: 1022

note: first writing?? i think hell yeah.


Hannah’s suicide. It hung in the air like rain clouds that refused to let down the torrential water, dark and looming and huge. Her sudden death hit the town like a hurricane; nothing like that ever happened in their small world. Many had been shaken in the impact, only few had been injured by the shrapnel that splintered from her bomb.

Clay scowled mournfully at the incredibly fake memorial in the hall for his late friend. If anyone was a true friend of Hannah, they’d know she hated roses, Mrs. Baker had told Courtney Crimson. She thought they were a cliche. The one flower that stood out amongst the various shades of red roses was a delicate bouquet of baby’s breath, white and fragile.

Everyone had known you were a friend of Hannah, close enough and nice enough to have never done anything to hurt her, intentionally or not. Clay knew that you were such a way that it hadn’t warranted you a place in the girl’s thirteen tapes and it surprised him; practically anyone who had ever come into any contact with her at school had been given a side of a tape.

The boy’s gaze turned away from the table of flowers and candles when a locker slammed uncharacteristically shut. You stood, tears welling up in your eyes as you examined the monument from your own place across the hall. These students didn’t care; they hadn’t cared when she was alive, so why would they care now? Clay couldn’t tell if your tears were from your anger at the student body of Liberty High or your sadness over one of your only friends taking her life. He decided that it was both when you stormed away, allowing the doors to slam behind you.

The two of you had met through Hannah. You had shown up at the Crestmont to surprise her at work and see the movie you had been wanting to see before it was out of theaters. The girl introduced you to Clay and you hit it off. You three talked in the halls, exchanged answers on homework for classes you shared, had a stupid group chat where Clay talked shit about low budget sci-fi movies he had seen on TV and you and Hannah laughed at his rants.

He was close enough to you to know that you weren’t okay. This was taking a toll on you just as it had done with Olivia Baker. He had realized his mistake with Hannah and, at the end of the day, knew that it was just as much his fault as anyone else’s. He needed to reach out this time, stop somebody from doing something to themselves that they couldn’t reverse, so he followed after you.

He wasn’t surprised to find your car parked out at Eisenhower Park, your eyes staring blankly across the playground. You jumped when he knocked on your window, but nodded and gave him permission to join you. The space was silent aside from the harsh blow of the air conditioner and the radio playing some slow ballad. It seemed like twenty years before Clay spoke any words.

“How are you?” he asked, his voice quiet and unintentionally wavering.

“I’m… okay,” you replied, tensing. He knew you weren’t, everyone knew you weren’t, so why were you telling such a white lie in front of the only person who knew you better than Hannah.

“Stop.”

You turned your head sharply, so much so that Clay was worried he’d given you whiplash or something. Your eyes blazed, though he couldn’t determine an exact emotion.

“Stop what?”

He squared his jaw and narrowed his eyes. You couldn’t tell if this was his way of showing his anger at you or building up the courage to say something.

“Stop telling me you’re okay.”

That’s what took you aback; those five words made your eyes widen, blink in rapid succession, trying to analyze what his motives were behind his sentence.

“What-”

“Every time I ask you how you are, you say that you’re okay, that you’re fine when it’s obvious that you’re not. A-And I don’t mean to sound rude, but it’s worrying me,” he started. “I refuse to sit here and watch another person I love unravel themselves and do something they’ll regret because I was too afraid to reach out and help them. If-If I had said something to Hannah, let her know that I was here for her, maybe I could have stopped her, but I didn’t because I was scared. I’m not going to let you do that to yourself, too.”

More blinks. Clay was smart, intelligent, attentive. He knew how to read emotions, facial expressions, body language. He knew that you were hurting, that this whole situation was breaking down your mental health and sending it into a spiral of depression. You sat there bugged-eyed, not knowing how to respond.

“Clay, I…”

He was blinking away his own tears, sad and angry and melancholy. Here the two of you were, breaking down in the crisp cold air of your car’s AC unit, tearing up and wanting to reach out to each other.

“[Name], if I would have just let her know-”

He was choking on nothing, his throat was closing up; you leaned across the console, wrapping your arms around him tightly.

“It’s okay.”

He was sobbing, his wet hitting and soaking through your shirt sleeve.

“I can’t lose you, too. I’m here and I want to be here for you. Just don’t leave like she did.”

You were both crying now, holding each other tightly and trying to soothe each other through your own wet eyes. It was some consolation, some sort of reckoning force that brought you back from those thoughts. Seeing what Hannah’s departure had done to her family and the friends she had left behind was heartbreaking, it wasn’t something that you could ever do now that you thought about it.

Your fingers curled and gripped onto Clay’s jacket, bringing his warmth and comforting scent closer to yourself. “I won’t. Don’t let me go please.”

“Never. Never in a million years.”

You Can’t Protect Me From Everything // Shawn Mendes

Authors Note: So this here is a combination of “Can you do one where Shawn breaks up with y/n because she been hate getting on and after a couple of days she was up I to the hospital because (idk whatever you are comfortable with) and Shawn found out from the the internet and went to drive over there because he still loves her and they get back together” + “can you do an imagine where y/n is roughly 2/3 years younger than shawn ? ((shawn 19, y/n 16))” 

Warning: Y/n talks about self harm and I would also like to mention that she’s angry about it and her views on it does not mean they’re mine or the right view


“I think it’s best if we didn’t see each other for a while,” Shawn mumbled stroking my back softly as he held me in his arms. I froze, the words ticking over in my head. He wanted to break up. 

“What?” I ask, trying to sound strong but my voice quivers. I sit up on the couch, pulling away from his touch and turning off the TV.

“I just think that its time that we had some time apart, know what its like to not have each other,” I try to hold his burning gaze but his words feel as though they’re slicing me apart and I look away. 

“Am I not enough for you anymore?” I ask, my fingers sliding the dainty, gold ring Shawn got me for my birthday in a nervous manner. 

“You’re just young Y/n and I thought it would-” 

“So that’s what this is about,” I hiss, Shawn looking shocked at my sudden anger.

“What? No I’m just-”

“You know I don’t care that your fans think I’m too young for you,” I state, crossing my arms over my chest as if to keep the frustration at bay.

“I know you don’t baby but,” He trails off, trying to catch my eye.

“If I can deal with it why can’t you?” I whisper, the anger giving way to a hollow like feeling.

“I don’t want you to have to deal with it!” Shawn shouts, suddenly standing up. He walks out the room and after a moment of shock, I follow.

“What do you mean?” I ask, nerves on a high. I’ve never seen Shawn so angry in the 8 months that we’ve been dating. He’s leaning against the sink a glass of water in his hand.

“I hate coming to see you and seeing tears in your eyes that you so desperately try to hide but I know, Y/n, I know that they’re from the hate. That the fans can’t take me being 19 and you being 16,” He chucks the glass in the sink, the sound of the glass hitting the metal harsh against my ears.

“I won’t go on it anymore,” I say gently, approaching him cautiously. 

“I don’t want you to have to cut off social media just because of me, this is why I didn’t want to tell everyone about us,” His anger seems to turn on me.

“Shawn,” I gasp, recoiling back. 

“But you kept asking me, Shawn lets just tell them, Shawn I don’t want to hide,” He mocks me, my irritation growing. 

“I didn’t want to hide my relationship. I have every right to tell people that I’m dating you and show everyone how much you mean to me,” I snap, slamming my hand on the counter.

“Why couldn’t we just keep it between us though? Why are you so desperate to tell people?” He mutters, striking a nerve. 

“You were asking me to go places with you that were deserted so that no one would see us and post about it on social media. When we would go out to the movies or dinner, I had to put a meter between us so it looked like we were just friends hanging out,” I turn away from him, not wanting him to see my tears. 

“I was proud of our relationship and to hide it like that, made me feel like… like you were ashamed of me or something,” 

“With an age gap like that,” I hear him say so quietly that I thought I imagined it but when I turned around, facing his icy gaze, I knew he said it.

“Fine,” I sob, voice cracking. “I see how you really feel. I”ll leave,” I don’t look at him as I grab my coat from the counter, chucking it around my body that felt so cold all of a sudden. 

I didn’t look back at him as I walked down the hall to the front door, pulling it open and standing out in the frosty air. 

When I did look back, I saw him standing there still, starring at me with an unreadable expression until the door closed and I could no longer see him. No longer see an us.


It was like I couldn’t feel anything. As if my whole body was numb to everything. I layed in the small single bed, the bland white walls starring back into my face as I looked at nothing in particular. 

I didn’t want to be here, I so desperately wanted to be anywhere else. I bring my hand up to move some hair that fell in my eyes and the stinging pain brings my attention to my arm. The plate. The blood. My Mothers horrified expression. They all come flooding back and I look away.

I was washing the dishes when I accidentally smashed a plate. I must admit however, my actions were governed by the anger from Shawn’s quick dismissal of our relationship. 

I remember the pain in my arm, the sharp cuts that appeared; completely by accident. Unfortunately however, because of my relationship ending only a couple days before, apparently that gave me a valid reason to harm myself. 

When my Mum walked into the kitchen, her gaze locked on the water stained red with my own blood and a broken piece of the plate in my hand she immediately thought the worst. Not once did she give me a chance to explain that it was an accident, instead rushing me to the hospital where I’ve been for the past 2 days, under constant monitoring. 

I sigh, turning the TV off, finding no interest in the cartoon that was playing. The silence allows me to hear the just audible voices outside my room.

“I just want to see her,” a male’s voice says, and I sit up straighter. Shawn.

“She’s very tired, sir,” A nurses voice replies and I roll my eyes. I was fine and in need of food other then what they served at the hospital. 

“Can I have just 5 minutes, 5…please,” I hear him beg. The door opens, the creaking sound alerting me off someones presence. 

“Miss, you have a visitor,” My nurse tells me, and she allows Shawn to walk past her, closing the door after him, leaving him and I alone together. 

I don’t say anything. Simply stare at him as he runs his gaze over my body tucked into the sheets, the bandages wrapped around my right arm from my wrist to my elbow. Up to my face where it lingers, reading my expression.

“How did you-”

“Don’t say anything,” He snaps, moving forward to sit next to me in the seat beside my bed. I close my mouth hastily.

“Why would you do this to yourself?” He murmurs, running a finger over the bandage. I roll my eyes, knowing he thinks I cut myself, just like everyone else.

“Do you know how hard it was to find out my girlfriend cut her self and to not hear it from you but from online?” He asks, voice full of exasperation and something else, maybe hurt… fear? 

“Ex-girlfriend,” I utter. An awkward silence fills the room and I don’t dare meet his eyes. 

“I was on this afternoon,” he begins and I stare at the vase in the corner of my room filled with blooming violets. 

“I saw so many tweets with your name and self harm and I just… I felt my stomach drop,” His voice lowers to a whisper. “I didn’t want it to be true, to find out that my girl hurt herself because she couldn’t handle what she was feeling,” 

I stay silent still, listening to his soothing voice and allowing myself for one moment to believe we were still together. 

“I saw pictures that some fan account had tagged me in and it was of you getting rushed into the hospital. I called your mum- which by the way, she is extremely unhappy with me, but I found out it was true and you were here,” he sighs rubbing his eyes tiredly. “Why Y/n?”

I look at him, seeing his normally sparkling brown eyes, dull and red.

“I was washing the dishes.” I start, finally finding someone who would listen to my side of the story rather than my mothers who was abrupt and panic filled. “I was so angry with how things ended and then I remember slamming the plate down a little too hard and it broke- the glass cutting my arm. Before I had time to clean up my Mum walked in and she thought I cut myself because of what happened with us,”

He looks at me, shocked. “You didn’t purposely cut yourself?” He asks, a serious expression masking his face.

“No- everyone just thinks I did,” He reaches out, wrapping me in his arms.

“I was so scared that you meant it,” he murmurs into my hair before pulling away. 

“I would never Shawn,” I tell him, his hand gripping mine tightly. A silence falls over us and it reminds me of the sharp words he chucked at me. I tug my hand out his grip, coughing awkwardly.

“I um,” He says softly. “I didn’t. I want. I..” He stutters, not knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry I pressured you into telling everyone about us. I wouldn’t have if I knew how much you didn’t want to,” I mumble, pulling a loose thread in my blanket. 

“No, baby, I wanted to tell everyone as well,” He rushes to say, alarm filling his eyes. “I just, I read some of the hate you got and it was so awful. I felt so ashamed of having these people who said the most disgusting things to you as my fans and I wanted to protect you from it,”

“You can’t protect me from everything Shawn,” I tell him, brushing back a piece of hair that fell on his forehead up out of his eyes.

“You didn’t deserve what they were saying and I thought the best way to stop it was to break up with you. That was the worst decision of my life,” I tighten my hold on his hand.

“I can agree with that,” I hum, smiling at him.

“Everything I said was just a lie, I knew the only way for you to agree was to hurt you. I hated saying those things to you and seeing the look on your face when I said them,” 

“I want you to know that I don’t care what they say or how many years older you are then me,” I say, and he kisses my knuckles softly. 

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles, and I pat the space on the bed next to me, letting him sit next to me. “I really don’t care how old you are. Actually I love that you’re younger then me. Gives me more of a reason to want to protect you,” he kisses my forehead softly

“Good,” I smirk at him and he nudges my shoulder with his own.

“So does this mean we’re an item again?” he teases, his eyes twinkling.

“Depends,” I grin.

“On what?” 

“You’re going to have to face my mothers wrath,” His face paled. 

“Give me strength,”

Originally posted by smendesgifs

anonymous asked:

Fix it fic where Yousef comes back today? PLEASE? I don't know how maybe the girls surprise her and brought him back I know it doesn't make any sense it doesn't have to just please can you write one I'm so sad. Thank you!

Well nothing else makes sense anyway so why not? Hope you like nonnie!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

“Fortunately, love does too.”

The end of the speech is met with enthusiastic cheers and applause. Sana has tears in her eyes and is hugging everyone around her. Just as they all calm down, her phone starts ringing. She looks down and a huge smile appears on her face.

Yousef is trying to FaceTime her.

She presses the green button and his beautiful face fills up her screen. Too much of her screen actually.

Sana laughs. “Why are you so close to the camera? Back up a little bit so I can see Turkey.”

“Turkey?” he says in a mischievous tone. “You’d rather see Turkey and not me?”

She rolls her eyes. “How about both?”

“See the problem is, showing both would be a problem because geographically it’s not possible.”

“What?”

“If I moved, you wouldn’t see Turkey.”

The last word rings in her ears and it’s a little too loud. She turns around and there he is, standing a few feet away, wearing a white and golden kurta. Looking as handsome as ever.

She’s too shocked to talk, to move, to even blink. Because if she does, he might disappear.

The girls surround her and say, “You didn’t think the speech was the only surprise we had for you right?”

She’s too dumbfounded to even understand how and when and where they came up with this idea or did this, all she knows is that Yousef is slowly walking towards her and she’s having a hard time breathing.

“Eid Mubarak Sana. You look……stunning.” He says, with a little difficulty, apparently just as breathless as she was.

“What are you….I mean….” All her thoughts are jumbled and all she wants to do is wrap her arms around him and hug him for an eternity.

“I got a ticket in the mail three days ago, convinced my family for another two days, got on a plane this morning, and here I am now.”

She looks at the girls in disbelief and Noora winks at her and subtlety tells her to check her phone.

A new text from her reads, “Julian Dahl owed me a favor.”

Sana shakes with laughter and disbelief and happiness all at once. Then she looks up at Yousef, grinning from ear to ear.

“I can’t believe you came.”

“Don’t you remember? Alt for deg girl.”

The Discovery

(Your boyfriend Jin is reluctant to allow his sexual fantasy to become a reality.)

Warning: Smut, male dom, female sub, spanking, fellatio, teasing, intercourse, dirty talk. I am so going to hell for writing stuff like this.

“Jin.  Jin!  Jinnie! Yah, KIM SEOKJIN WAKE UP!”

Your attempts to gently nudge your boyfriend awake had failed, so you shook him awake instead.  You had already been up for an hour, had showered, dressed, did your hair and makeup and were ready to go do something fun for the day.  Your boyfriend, Jin, was always so busy with work it was rare to have a whole day for just the two of you.  You had spent the night at his place so you could get an early start on your plans for the day.  First was a bike ride in the park, then a picnic lunch, a trip to the aquarium, a puppy café, a movie, dinner, late night bowling and drinks.  Jin had laughed at you when you told him your list of what you had planned, and he was right, it would be impossible to do everything, but you wanted to try to do as much as you could.

Jin wrapped his arms around you and pulled you down onto the bed so your head was against his chest. He held you tightly so you couldn’t move much. “Baby, why don’t we just sleep a little while longer.   You wore me out last night.”

You smiled thinking of last night.  Making love with Jin was always such a pleasure.  He wasn’t adventurous in bed, but he was a generous lover, always making sure you were well taken care of.  You sometimes missed the wilder sexual activities you experienced with previous boyfriends, but you wouldn’t trade Jin for anyone else in the world. He was by far the kindest boyfriend you had ever had.

Keep reading

All a stage (Reader x Yondu Udonta)

A/N: I’ve been looking for a way to use this song in any of my fics. It’s suuuuuch a good cover. I am a broken human being, btw. Warning: Spoilers ahead!

★★★★★

Originally posted by scorpling

I don’t want your number (no)
I don’t want to give you mine and (no)
I don’t want to meet you nowhere (no)
Don’t want none of your time and
No, I don’t want no scrub

Yondu Udonta liked to see your performances when he could. It wasn’t often, but every time he did appear, you were glad. It meant he was still alive and still safe. No one knew, but every time you saw that Centurian in the crowd, your performances would be particularly phenomenal that evening.

You liked to joke and tell him that he was your lucky charm and that he should visit more often, but the both of you knew it was just a half-hearted ploy for him to see you more because anytime he was at your side, he was safe. Anytime he was away was another chance for him to be gone forever.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can I ask for rfa +v and saeran reacting to an mc who wears barley anything around the house and has no shame even if friends come over can you make it nsfw please!

Aaah! I’m sorry, I couldn’t write V!! I can’t really imagine his reaction…

Sorry >-<

–R.I.

Warning: NSFW

Yoosung

  • he couldn’t handle it, the poor thing
  • you wore ONLY a sweater around the house. And it was usually unzipped halfway, too.
  • it was really, really distracting
  • at every meal, he was always more hungry for you than food
  • even cuddling, he found himself concentrating on your bare skin against him
  • and he could barely focus on his homework, whatwith the way you sat on the couch with your knees up, and he could see your hard nipples poking out and your fingers playing with your wet pussy- wait what?
  • “Mmn… Yoosung~” you moaned, eyes closed
  • he felt himself grow hard at the sight.
  • suddenly, a series of knocks came at the door, and you went to answer it
  • Seven had come to drop off a package of Honey Buddha Chips, and he definitely noticed your wet thighs, but refrained from commenting
  • instead, he went up to Yoosung and whispered, “oho~ looks like you’re having fun, hm~?”
  • “don’t look at my girlfriend!” Yoosung glared angrily, pushing Seven out the door
  • “and you! You’re coming with me!”
  • He drags you to the bedroom, leaving his homework forgotten. God, this was the reason why he was such a bad student.

Zen

  •  he loved when you wore only his shirt and panties around the house
  • highly supportive
  • but he hated that you didn’t bother changing even when his co-actors came to his house to practise lines
  • they flirted with you, shamelessly eyeing your bare legs
  • the worst part? You didn’t even realize they were flirting
  • and you felt no shame showing so much of yourself to them either
  • when they left, Zen shut the door firmly, turning to you
  • “You’ve been a very bad girl today. I think you deserve some punishment,” he growled, eyes narrowing angrily.

Jaehee

  • couldn’t understand the logic behind your nudity around the house
  • you wore absolutely nothing.
  • and when you had visitors, you only threw on a hoodie
  • Baehee gets jealous too, you know. She wants to be the only one to see you naked.
  • “but baehee~ we’re both women!”
  • “MC, that doesn’t mean I won’t attack you.”

Jumin

  • the first thing he comes home to everyday is you, wearing only lingerie as pyjama
  • yes, the first thing he comes home to is a tease. (followed by taking you into the bedroom.)
  • he growls lowly when he sees you shamelessly smiling at the bodyguards around the apartment. He makes sure to glare icily at each and every one of them each time to let them know you’re taken, and NOT a good choice of eye-candy.
  • you STILL wore barely anything even when there were visitors in the house! Granted, the only people who ever really visited were the RFA members, mostly V
  • speaking of V, he once jokingly suggested that you should become a lingerie model, and that he had photographers to introduce to you. I mean, you wore practically nothing with no shame. It wouldn’t hurt.
  • but Jumin didn’t take as a joke. (V hasn’t come back ever since. Now they meet up everywhere but the apartment)

Seven

  • usually, he locked himself in a dark room with his computers, so he never really noticed what you wore when you came in
  • until he comes out of his pigsty every once in a while, and finds you wearing only a spaghetti strap criss-cross shirt and thin panties.
  • and he becomes a blushing mess EVERY time, covering his eyes and looking away from you. (But seven, it’s nothing you haven’t already seen…)
  • he’s also reminded that you wore close to nothing when you curled up in his lap as he worked away on the computer, and your bare legs brushed against him
  • “…MC, are you sure you want to sit like that?”
  • you would soon feel his erection pressing against you… and sometimes if you sat just right, it would pulse right against your mound…
  • he’d still be working, typing at the speed of light
  • and you’d try to grind yourself against him, making the most of his hard-on
  • “MC. Please don’t tease me when I’m trying to work.”
  • but you would only proceed to unzip his pants and take out his throbbing cock into your mouth, sliding down onto the floor under his desk
  • his typing would suddenly stop, as the dark room made him more sensitive to your touch
  • “MC…”
  • the doorbell suddenly rang, and Seven quickly jumped to answer the door, covering his arousal with his sweater.
  • Yoosung had come to beg Seven for some Honey Buddha Chips, but when you came out in your revealing clothing…
  • he ran away, face completely red as he unwillingly eyed you from top to bottom. “N-NEVER MIND!”
  • Seven mentally checked to remember to hack into Yoosung’s LOLOL account and make him fail all his next missions.
  • he turned around to face you. “So, shall we continue where we left off?”

Saeran

  • you always wore only a strapless leather crop top and skirt (with no panties) around the house. It made you feel HOT, y'know? You wore it for your own pleasure, although Saeran…….
  • ‘fuck. why is mc such a tease?’
  • you wouldn’t even care if there were visitors, letting their eyes roam all over your body
  • Saeran would pull you onto his lap and hug you tightly from behind, his arms wrapped around your waist. Just to show them that you’re his.
  • his eyes followed you everywhere around the house
  • he knows you’re not wearing panties.
  • will probably stroke himself out in the open, staring at you until you notice.
  • drags you onto his lap, rubbing the back your thighs with a warm hand
  • he loved the fact that he could just fuck you with this outfit on, since you didn’t wear panties with it.
  • he spreads your legs open, and wait for you to drop onto his throbbing cock
  • if you hesitate, he teases your clit with his thumb, stroking in circles, his fingers moving smoothly with your juices.
  • and if you still don’t lower yourself onto him, he will push you back onto the couch and take you by force instead.
  • “MC… I hope you don’t expect me to be gentle this time.”
Crown of Flowers

Plot: You’re not feeling good with yourself and Draco notices it and comes to talk to you.

Warnings: Fluffy, body issues.

Word Count: 1.003

Author’s Note: English is NOT my first language, so if there are grammatical mistakes, you can text me and I’ll correct them. In case you don’t know, (h/c) means Hair Color, (e/c) means Eye Color and (s/c) means Skin Color. Hope you all like it. (ᵔᴥᵔ)

Originally posted by jupiter-fox

Originally posted by sharnah99omd

I sat on the grass in front of the Black Lake and took off my shoes. My feet were sore at the end of the day, but I wasn’t surprised. They carried all my weight, how could they not be sore. I sighed, running my hands through my (h/c) hair. In the last days, for some reason, I wasn’t feeling that good with myself, and I avoided mirrors like Devil avoids the cross. I felt so ugly, so fat… That thoughts were killing me, because they did not came alone. They brought other insecurities that broke me even more. One in particular was getting me out of my mind.

Why is Draco with me?

When I saw him talking to the other Slytherin girls, I started thinking that maybe he did not needed me at all. I mean, they were prettier, anyone could see that, so what did I had of spacial? Why did he picked me? What if he realizes I have nothing to offer and leave me? That questions were slowly depressing me, and making me get away from my friends and from Draco his self.

My eyes got field with tears, and I let myself fall apart, because I wasn’t strong enough to keep them from falling down my cheeks. I was so tired, I just wanted to be pretty, to be gracious like the beauxbatons girls… Truth be told, I was feeling shitty since they showed up, two years ago, but now, it was stronger.

Of course I did not wanted to feel like that, but how could I stop myself? Tears kept falling, and I sobbed. God, why am I so weak? Why can’t I love myself like a normal person? I kept asking the same questions, without finding the answers.

“Elena?” I heard a voice behind me and turned my head to see my boyfriend walking to me his tie loose on his neck, his blonde hair messed. I cleaned my cheeks as fast as I could so he wouldn’t realize I was crying, but  when he sat by my side I realized how useless it had been; his gray eyes showed how much he was worried about me, and I felt guilty for a second. This was not his fault, he shouldn’t be feeling like that. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his hand reaching out to my face, wiping a tear that had insisted on staying there.

“It’s nothing important, Draco. Don’t worry, please.”

“How am I suppose to not worry about you? You’re my girlfriend, I have to. Someone did something to you and you don’t want to give the person in, is that? If it was that guy from hufflepuff again, I swear I’ll beat the fuck out o…”

“Malfoy, it’s not him, ok?” I interrupted him. “It’s not anyone, it’s me.”

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“I… I don’t want to talk about this, and I don’t know if I’m able to.”

“You know I’m not going to judge you, right? Talk to me, Elena, I want to help you. What’s the point of dating each other if we’re going to keep secrets?” His left hand held mine, his thumb pressing the ring he gave me. I knew what that meant. His left arm had the dark mark. “We promised, remember? Nothing between us.”

“I… I don’t feel good, Draco. With myself.” I whispered.

“Keep going. Talk to me, Princess.” He used my nickname to encourage me.

“I don’t like the way I look, that’s nothing else to say about it.” My eyes filled up again, and I looked down, incapable of facing my boyfriend.

“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” He said.

“How could this possible be your fault, Draco?”

“I’m your boyfriend, I’m suppose to support you whenever you need me, but I’m just to busy with my own problems to pay attention on you.” He was mad, and I got to say, that scared me a little. “I should make you feel perfect, not worthless.”

“Malfoy, listen to me, you can’t blame yourself for what’s happening to me. I know you love me, I have the proof in your left arm, the problem is that I can’t love myself, and that’s nothing you can do to change this.”

“Will see if that’s true.” He said, pulling me closer to his chest. I could almost feel the determination on his voice.


For the next week, Draco wouldn’t leave my side. He’d walk with his arm around my waist, kiss my face and neck all the time and whisper “you’re beautiful” in my ear. During class, he would hold my hand and caress it with his thumb. In lunch time, he dragged me to an empty classroom and kissed me passionately. I confess, I enjoyed that a lot, and so did my ego.

After dinner one night, the blonde asked me to wait for him in the Common Room, even through everyone was in bed already. I did what he asked, waiting in the couch, reading to distract me. When he walked in, he had his hands behind his back, hiding something.

“Ok, what’s that Malfoy?” I asked, curious.

“I know you said this wasn’t my fault, but still I feel like I should take care of you. I love you a lot, Elena, I couldn’t leave without you, and I also know you think I’ve proved that join… You know what, but the truth is that nothing I do will never really show how much I care ‘bout you. They call me the Slyterin Prince, but you’re the real Queen of Slytherin and of my heart.” I smiled at his speech and he held out a crown of white roses. My favorite flower. “You deserve all the crowns in the world, love.”

I kissed him passionately, smiling and understanding for the first time that I did not had to be perfect in the world’s eyes if I have always been and will always be in the eyes of the one I love.