why is there salad there

AND HERE IT STARTS you’ll have to forgive the text, this laptop doesn’t have the font i normally use for actual comic pages and I can’t seem to locate it online because I can’t recall the exact name RIP.

But soon Ex’s father appears! and we find a bit of why the noodles don’t make a good pasta salad!

And There’s going to be a big reveal involving both Cam and Ex! Cam about a certain pokemon and Ex’s past as a subject will come further to light!

sorrythistooksolongilosttheoriginalandhadtoredoitlike3times


I’ll be psoting pages one by one for the next week or so!!

Will be tagged as “plot” as well as “Intro Artie Comic”

It was good to see you again, dearheart.  Take up Caladbolg, and protect this world.

Ive has been waiting for canonical closure for a very long time now.  Did he want to stay in that memory forever? Yes.  But it’s something, and one last time is better than never at all.

Dialogue Prompts

So, I really want to start writing on this blog, too. So I made a prompt list.
Not all prompts are mine, some are stolen from another blog. 

I will be writing for the following fandoms:

  • Harry Potter
  • Criminal Minds
  • Supernatural
  • Shadowhunters/ The moral instruments
  • The hunger games
  • Divergent
  • The maze runner
  • Grey’s anatomy

Okay, that isn’t too much. I’m still catching up on other shows. Once I’m finished, I’ll add them. You can ask for any character x reader, or character x character. If you want a platonic one-shot, you should note that. You can ask for as many prompts as you want. 

Dialogue prompts:

  1. “I have always loved cacti.” 
  2. “You didn’t just say that.” 
  3. “Whoa-dude. Look at that!”
  4. “Just because I died doesn’t mean I’m really dead.” 
  5. “Just because I drove into that river doesn’t mean I’m a bad driver.”
  6. “You walked into a knife?”
  7. “How did you manage this level of stupidity?” 
  8. “You locked me outside!” 
  9. “I’ve always been there for you. And I will continue to be.”
  10. “Do you trust me?”
    “Not even a little bit.” 
  11. “Uhh, is something wrong?”
    “What? Hehe! Of course not, why would you think that?” 
    “Because I can smell something burning and you’re hiding behind a door. Now, let me in.”
  12. “Here’s a newspaper filled with all the love I can’t feel.”
  13. “You know, people may like you more if you didn’t smell like a dead body.”
  14. “Aww, sweetie. Where are your parents?”
    “I’m older than you.” 
  15. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a child.”
    “Don’t throw the scissors!”
  16. “Here, take my jacket/blanket.”
    “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivers*
  17. “Why are you still awake?”
  18. “Come over here and make me.” 
  19. “The salad here is really nice.” 
    “Do I look like a fucking rabbit?”
  20. “Please don’t leave me.”
    “I don’t want to.”
  21. “You can’t ride a bike?” 
    “Why are you whispering?”
  22. “We’re going downtown.”
    “There’s a strip club downtown.” 
  23. “You broke what?!” 
    “Don’t worry, I’m okay.”
  24. “Come Inside. I’m sorry.”
    “Not until an apology.”
    “I just said i’m freaking sorry.” 
  25. “Are you jealous?”
    “You are changing your outfit right now.”
  26. “Why did I marry you?” 
    “It took a whole lot of convincing.”
  27. “Luck? Nope. Skills.”
    “If it’s skills then do it again.”
  28. “You said forever!”
  29. “Seven fucking years and that’s all you have to say?” 
  30. “I love you, but I have to go.” 
  31. “I hate you so much.” 
  32. “You were and still are my everything.”
  33. “I can’t love you the way you want.” 
  34. “Hey jerk.”
    “…”
    “I mean… Babe?”
  35. “Admit it. That was the best kiss of your life.”
    “You always have to be the best at everything, don’t you?”
  36. “S/he just tripped and won’t stop laughing.”
  37. “Nice dancing you did there, how about you dance your way to my bedroom?” 
  38. “No, no. It’s okay. I’ll be your bridge. You can walk all over me.”
  39. “I’ve looked after coma patients more interesting than you.” 
  40. “Would you mind not setting my stuff on fire every time you get mad?”
  41. “This really didn’t go as planned.”
    “Is it the fact that everything is on fire that made you come to this conclusion?”
  42. “I can’t believe that worked.”
    “It was part of your plan.”
    “I know! My plans never work!”
  43. “You need to go! I’ll distract them!”
    “Do you think you can outrun them?”
    “If by outrun them you mean not getting caught… Probably not.” 
  44. “If you asked me to stay, I would’ve.”
  45. “You’re too good for this world.”
  46. “I can hardly stand myself.” 
  47. “Don’t come near me or I swear I’ll kill you.” 
  48. “Don’t you dare look him in the eye.” 
  49. “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”
  50. “I tried my best to not feel anything for you. Guess what? I failed.” 
  51. “Who did this to you?”
  52. “If you kill them, you better kill me too. Because if you don’t, I will kill you.”
  53. “Don’t underestimate what a person can do to protect those they care about.”
  54. “Do you ever follow directions?”
  55. “What happened?”
    “I got hit by a taxi. And it hurt.” 
  56. “She’s cute. But I’m pretty sure she can’t count to ten.”
  57. “I can fit a whole row of crackers in my mouth. Want to see?”
  58. “You said that if I went to bed early I’d feel better. You’re a fucking liar.” 
  59. “You’re late.” 
    “I’m glad you noticed.”
  60. “You made me cookies?”
  61. “You stole what?”
  62. “You aren’t pathetic.”
  63. “you looked at me different.”
  64. “I am not pregnant!”
  65. “You ever seen something as cool as this?”
  66. “I thought you were dead!”
  67. “I know you love me and all, but could you stop threatening the doctor?”
  68. “How. The fuck. Are you- so motherfucking tall?”
  69. “You? You know how to shoot a gun?”
  70. “You threw a tampon at him?”
  71. “You just kissed me.”
  72. “Hold up-just-just stop. just-what are you exactly doing? It’s two AM!”
  73. “I’m tired of being your secret.”
  74. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission.” 
  75. “You don’t need to protect me.”
  76. “Sorry I ruined your life. Maybe you shouldn’t have married me.”
  77. “If I would’ve known he was going to die, do you think I would’ve done it?”
  78. “I know you love me, but I’m tired of lying when I say it back.”
  79. “When I look at you, I see my world. And that scares the living crap out of me.”
  80. “Tell me what they did to you, please.”
  81. “I’ll go home. But it isn’t home when you’re not there.”
  82. “I’m pathetic because I go to you for everything but you’d pick someone over me any day.”
  83. “I wish I could hate you.”
  84. “I’ll let you down. I’ll always let you down. I’m not enough to keep you satisfied.”
  85. “I’m trying! Can’t you see? Isn’t that enough for you?”
  86. “I’m useless to you now.”
    “You’re a person. Not a toaster. You don’t have to have a use.”
  87. “i’m useless to you now.”
    “Oh please. You were always bloody useless. I love you anyways.”
  88. “I saw you roll skating, and I thought ‘that person is really cool’ and then you fell crashed and Jesus, are you okay?”
  89. “You had this big ass ice cream and you were so exited you dropped it and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sadder person. Just please let me buy you a new one.”
  90. “We keep awkwardly running into each other and people have to ship us and I kind of like you. Hahaha, oh god, I need to stop blushing.”
  91. “This was a terrible idea.”
    “What are you talking about? There’s free nacho’s!”
  92. “Don’t do the thing!”
    “…”
    “You already did the thing, didn’t you?”
  93. “Paint me like one of your French girls.”
    “… I paint fruit.”
  94. “Let’s pretend that didn’t happen.”
    “Agreed.”
  95. “Did you seriously run face first into a light pole because you saw a pretty girl?”
    “I’m gay.”
  96. “How dare you talk to me, peasant. I am your queen.”
    “You are wearing a blanket over your shoulders.”
    “Silence! Now, fetch me some substances.”
    “Pizza bites or mini quiche?”
    “Pizza bites, obviously.”
  97. “Quit your whining! I bet it’s barely even a scratch.”
  98. “That-that’s your blood?! Why the hell didn’t you say anything?”
  99. “This is going to hurt but you have to stay quiet, okay?””
  100. “Don’t pass out, we’re almost there.”
  101. “That’s it. If you throw up one more time, we’re going to the hospital.”
  102. “You didn’t feel that? This is bad, you should’ve felt that.”
  103. “I’m scared to move you. Just wait here and I swear I’ll come back with help.”
  104. “That’s a lot nastier than it seemed at first glance.”
  105. “Please don’t die. Don’t die in my lap, I’m begging you.”
  106. “Stop being overdramatic-OH!”
  107. “Just how I want to spend the night. Removing glass from my best friends head and strapping it up.”
  108. “She has internal damage. Sh’s couching up blood.”
  109. “Would it be cliché if we matched clothes a little?”
  110. “Could you hold my hand?”
  111. “Shh, shh. I’m here now. Now give me your hands, we need to clean the blood off. Don’t cry. -I don’t blame you. Don’t worry, Ill always be there for you.”
  112. “If you want to leave then-”
    “I don’t want to leave! I want you, you idiot.”
  113. “Are you a thief? Because you stole my heart.”
    “I swear to god, if I didn’t love you.”
  114. “Oh my god! Go to sleep! It’s three AM!”
    “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”
  115. “There’s a surprise waiting for you back home.”
  116. “The first time I met her, she was hiding behind the sofa.”
  117. “But this is our thing. Eating cereal and bitching about people.”
  118. “Just don’t let go.”
  119. “Come on, just one date.”
    “No.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because I really like (character) and she asked me first.” 
  120. “Gosh! Why are you so cold! get off me, you icicle!”
  121. “Are you…. crying? You? Miss/mister ‘I don’t cry, I’m tough as hell”?”
    “Oh shut up, we all have our weaknesses.”
  122. “You did all this for me?” 
    “No, I did this for Jeffery from across the street. Yes I did all of this for you!”
  123. “Okay, so don’t freak out, but I got flour everywhere.” 
  124. “Well, this is a nice change of scenery.”
    “Y/n, we’re in a prison cell.”
    “I was being sarcastic.”
  125. “I thought you said you knew where we were going.”
    “Yeah, I lied.”
  126. “Shit, you’re freezing. Let’s get you warmed up, alright?”
  127. “Shut up.”
    “I didn’t say anything.”
    “I don’t care. Shut up.”
  128. “Where are we going?”
    “I have no idea. You coming?”
  129. “Did you just try to banish me?”
  130. “I swear to you, this is how I found him.”
  131. “No thanks. I don’t want to get arrested for the second time today.”
  132. “You handled that real professional.”
    “I know right? I’m so proud of myself.”
  133. “That was the worst night ever.”
    “Same time next week?”
    “Of course.”
  134. “I got to admit, you’re really sexy with that gun. Terrifying, but sexy.”
  135. “Just-just go away.”
    “I would! If we weren’t handcuffed together.! Oh, and whose fault was that again? Yours!”
  136. “And I thought we were going to have a last kiss.”
  137. “I don’t want you to leave.”
    “I don’t want to stay.”
  138. “When did you stop?”
    “Stop with what, darling?”
    “Loving me.”
  139. “Please don’t say you love me because I might not say it back.”
  140. “I wasn’t there for you when you needed me, and I’m sorry.”
    “No you’re not. You don’t care about anyone apart from yourself.”
  141. “Don’t hurt me, please.”
  142. “I love you so much. If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do.”
  143. “You only like me for my body!”
  144. “You wanted to talk? Well, here I am!”
  145. “I tried. I tried so hard, why couldn’t you?”
  146. “I bled for you. From every pore of my body, I bled. What more do you want?”
  147. “Nobody can tell me what to do.”
    “Well, actually they can.”
    “Doesn’t mean I’ll listen to them.”
  148. “Knock knock, I’m here. What’s for dinner fucker?”
  149. “You’ve bitten off more than you can chew.”
    “I can chew a lot.”
  150. “You have blood on your hands!”
    “Oh really? Wow! Thank you so much for pointing that out! Really helpful to our current situation. Seriously, thank you so much for brining this to my attention!  I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
  151. “I love your perfume. What scent is that? The scent of death?”
  152. “I always carry a knife in my purse in case we’re eating cake.”
  153. “You guys got a plan, though. Right?”
    “Yeah. Run.”
  154. “Maybe he’s afraid of me because I know how to use a knife.”
    “Well, I mean that’s why I’m afraid of you, so…”
  155. “Is violence always your answer?”
  156. “Remember how I said I already took care of that? Well, I lied and need your help right now.”
  157. “Please, help me. Just this one time.”
  158. “Did you break that glass on purpose?”
    “It offended me.”
  159. “I can explain!”
    “Alright then. Tell me.”
    “… I lied, there’s literally no explanation for this.”
  160. “Fight like hell.”
  161. “Do you realize how let it is?”
  162. “Can you please come and get me?”
  163. “Is there a reason why you’re naked in my bed?”
  164. “This is the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in!”
  165. “If we die, I am going to kill you.”
  166. “I love her.”
    “Her? As in a woman?”
    “No, as in a robot. Of course as in a woman you ding-bat!”
  167. “Are you drunk?”
    “No, you’re just blurry.”
  168. “I think we should run away now.”
    “Funny, I was just about to say that.”
  169. “I will not let you make me feel small. Back off.”
  170. “You’re great at dancing.”
    “I’m great at everything.”
  171. “You didn’t do the dishes, so I’m not doing you.”
  172. “Don’t give me that look.”
  173. “The way you flirt is just shameful.”
  174. “I love you, you asshole.”
  175. “What the hell kind of noise was that?”
    “I sneezed.”
    “That was not a sneeze.”
  176. “How is she?”
    “She’s fine. She has some ice cream. I wish I had ice cream.”
  177. “This is an apology pizza.Please take it or I’ll start crying right now.”
  178. “You’re stronger than you look.”
  179. “If you push me on the swings, I’ll buy you dinner. Don’t push to high, though. I don’t like heights.”
  180. “Wait, you’re gay?”
    “What gave it away? Constant flirting?”
  181. “You came back.”
  182. “Mom? I need help… I’ve made a mistake.”
  183. “So, this is haw it’s going to end. You’re staying with them?”
    “I have to.”
    “You don’t have to betray me. You don’t have to do anything.”
  184. “I’m trying to be less bitter, but your happiness isn’t rubbing off on me.”
  185. “Take of your shirt.”
  186. “You’re sweet.”
  187. “I’ve never felt this sensation before.”
    “Hugging?”
    “Being loved.”
  188. “Do you not realize how much I care about you?”
  189. “I know I’m allergic to peanuts, but I could’t day no when you walked into the office with freshly baked cookies and that damned smile on your face.”
  190. “I like it when you smile.”
  191. “This isn’t what I had in mind, but it’s better.”
  192. “Nothing is wrong. I just really like the smell of your lotion.”
  193. “You’re never this quiet. What’s wrong?”
  194. “How long has it been since you’ve slept?”
  195. “You make a good pillow.”
  196. “I had a nightmare about you and I wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
  197. “I hate you. I hate you so much for making me love you. Why did you make me love you if you never intended on loving me back?”
  198. “When you think of me, if you think of me, remember how much I loved you.”
  199. “I almost lost you.”
  200. “Please, just please make the pain stop.”
  201. “Stop telling me you’re okay.”
  202. “I don’t even know who I am without you.”
  203. “You make me feel like I’m not good enough.”
  204. “You know, it hurt when I realized you weren’t in love with me. But nothing can compare to the pain I felt when I saw you fall in love with her.”
  205. “You left without saying goodbye. I hate you for that.”
  206. “Don’t you dare die on me!”
  207. “What I wanted? I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say that there’s no one else you could ever be with, and that you’d rather be alone than without me.”
  208. “You’re beautiful/handsome, and I’m not the only one who can see that.”
  209. “Twins?… We’re having twins?”
  210. “You are so tiny compared to me.”
  211. “Bring your pretty little butt over here.”
  212. “I want you body. I want your mouth. I want your laugh and your funny faces. I want your friendship and your inspirational thoughts. And I want you to come with me when I go.”
  213. “There’s a leaf in your hair.”
  214. “May I have this dance.”
  215. “This bath is too damn hot.”
    “This is why we can’t do cute stuff. You complain to much.”
  216. “One day you’ll learn.”
    “Learn what?”
    “That someone like me doesn’t get a happy ending. Those are reserved for people like you.”
  217. “That’s disgusting. You’re lucky you’re cute.”
  218. “If you don’t rest, you wont heal.”
  219. “ Why don’t they just kiss already?”
  220. “Is that a challenge?”
  221. “Here, let me see.”
  222. “How could anyone love me?” 
    “Don’t look at me. I married you for your cooking.”
  223. “So… Err, I noticed you’re kind of naked. Is that intentional, or…”
  224. “You forgot me.”
    “It was an accident.”
  225. “Drag your chair here, I can’t translate dead languages.”
  226. “Open this.”
    “Can you say please?”
  227. “Don’t say you love me unless you mean, it because I might so something crazy like believe it.”
  228. “Don’t you ever do that again.”
  229. “I was wrong. I thought I wanted him to look twice at me… Bit I don’t need him to look twice at me when you never stopped looking.”
  230. “I’m fine.”
    “You don’t look fine.”
    “Then stop looking.”
  231. “Things didn’t have to end like this.”
    “But we always knew they would, didn’t we?”
  232. “She’s dead! And it is your fault!”
  233. “Are you going to lecture me about how wonderful life is?”
  234. “They’d be better off without me.”
    “Do you really believe that?”
  235. “It’s okay to cry.”
  236. “I shouldn’t be in love with you.”
  237. “The axe is a bit unsetting, but honestly, you look great.” 
  238. “You asked me if I had any ideas. Not if I had any good ideas.”
  239. “Remove your hand or I’ll rip your arm off and beat you to death with it.”
  240. “So, I just realized… I’ve been shot.”
  241. “Delete it. Now.”
  242. “Could you guys do me a favor?”
    “Anything.”
    “Could at least one of you look like you are ever going to see me again?”
  243. “Don’t make me smack you in front of these people.”
  244. “I’m not a bitch. Okay, I’m lying, obviously.”
  245. “Can you get the gun out of my face, please?”
  246. “I don’t scare easily, you evil bitch.”
  247. “She’s been in there for hours and I haven’t heard a sound since.”
    “That’s because she left through the window.”
  248. “Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?” 
    “Not until four.”
  249. “Your existence gives me a headache. Go stand over there.”
  250. “We have five people trying to kill us right now, what are we supposed to do?”
    “Actually, it’s more like eight.”
    “Oh, sorry I wasn’t specific enough!”
  251. “You passed out for like an hour.”
  252. “This is my ‘I don’t care’ face.”
  253. A: “When I’m not here, do you braid each others hair and debate who the coolest Jonas brother is?”
    *B and C glance at each other*
    B: “No… But it’s totally Nick.”
    C: “Definitively Nick. But Kevin is the talented one.”
    B: “Yes, but Nick is the cute one.”
    C: “What about Joe?”
  254. “Do you know how to braid hair?”
  255. “Babe, I’m sorry.”
    “Suck my ass.”
  256. “What’s your favorite lipstick?”
    *Rambles about lipstick*”What’s yours?”
    “The one you’ll be adding to my lips.”
  257. “You could at least pretend to be interested in what I have to say.”
  258. “I always blame others for my mistakes. Just kidding, I don’t make mistakes.”
  259. “I may not be perfect, but at least I’m not you.”
  260. “Go to your room!”
    “First off, we share a room. Secondly, I am the older one. Bitch.”
  261. “I promised I’d safe you.”
    “I promised I’d kill you if you did.”
  262. “You did what?!”
  263. “I thought you were going to steal a boat?”
    “What do you mean, This is a boat.” 
    “No, no. This isn’t a boat, this is a motherfucking yacht!”
  264. “I wont die for you. I’d kill for you.”
  265. ^^^add your own! ;)


These are a lot! I hope you find one or maybe a few you’d like to request! 

Imagine...

Originally posted by effy-west

you’re Kirk’s wife and is close to all the crew, especially Spock, Bones and Scotty. Jim is worried about your safety on the Enterprise so he gets an officer to teach you self-defence. However the officer has a grudge on Kirk and takes it out on the reader who has too much pride to admit what’s going on. So when the boys find out, they go into overprotective mode.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Jim asked, holding your elbow as you stood outside the door to the gym. Jim had been worrying over you since you had first stepped foot onto the Enterprise.

“I’ll be fine. Now will you please get back to the bridge before this ship falls into disrepair” you teased, kissing his cheek and pushing him away. 

“Alright! Alright! I’m going! Comm me when you’ve finished” Jim chuckled, watching you go through into the gym before heading to the bridge. He did have work to do, no matter how much he’d be distracted until you came back. 

“Officer LaRue? I’m Ensign Kirk, the Captain said you would be able to teach me some self-defence classes” you introduced, walking up to the rather large officer. You couldn’t help but feel a little bit apprehensive about the class. He was so much bigger than you. 

“You’re the Captain’s wife?” he asked, running his eyes up and down you, sizing you up. It did nothing to help soothe the butterflies in your stomach. 

“Technically yes but I think you’re meant to call me Ensign” you corrected, bouncing on the balls of your feet. You always felt embarrassed when people found out your connection to Jim. No embarrassed was the wrong word, nervous. Yes that was it, nervous in case they thought you had gotten into the Enterprise because of your husband. When instead it was because of all your hard work. 

LaRue shrugged, beginning to get out some equipment. “I don’t care. We should get started. I expect you to work hard and keep up with me. I’m not going to go easy on you because you’re a girl” LaRue grumbled, as you bristled at that. It was fair though, you wanted to prove that you could handle being on the Enterprise. So if LaRue was your best chance, you would take it.


“So why aren’t you teaching her Captain?” Scotty asked, poking at his salad. Bones had put him on a diet, much to the irritation of the engineer. 

“Because the Captain would hate to see Ensign Kirk hurt” Spock replied, going through his data pad. 

“More like he’d get distracted too much” Bones scoffed, eating his sandwich with relish as he stared at a gaping Scotty. 

Jim rolled his eyes, glancing at his comm link in hope he had a message. “Shut up Bones! I just want to make sure Y/N is going to be okay on the ship. Especially as everyone knows that she’s my wife” Jim shrugged, putting him comm down a little bit too forcefully. 

“No one would harm Y/N Captain” Spock assured, typing away. 

“Hey!” You greeted, sitting beside Jim in the canteen. Honestly you were exhausted and you felt so sore. LaRue did not go easy on you at all, even considering that this was your first time. 

“Hey how was it?” Jim grinned, kissing your cheek as he wrapped an arm round you to bring you closer to him. 

You groaned, resting your head on his shoulder. “Good but I’m aching all over. Like in places I didn’t know should ever hurt” you grumbled, shaking your head. Honestly your arms ached, your legs were killing and you didn’t even want to know what was going on with your back. 

“Maybe you should have a medical” Bones suggested, reaching for his drink. 

“No thanks, Bones! I’m pretty sure I’m fine” you quickly cried, making Jim scoff into his lunch. It always amused him of your aversion for Bones when he was in doctor mode. It was probably due to how many times you had seen the doctor sticking a hypospray in Jim’s neck. 

“Perhaps it would be better for you to keep practicing Ensign. To become more used to the demands of the lessons” Spock advised, raising an eyebrow at your dramatics.

“I know that Spock, it doesn’t make my muscles hurt any less” you groaned, rolling your eyes at him. “Anyway, I should probably be getting back to work. I’ll see you tonight. See you later guys” you murmured, pecking Jim’s lips before waving at the others. 

As the weeks went on, you were becoming more and more covered in bruises. You hid yourself from everybody, especially Jim. All your skin was covered to make sure that no one could see the bruises. 

You had worked out a while ago that something wasn’t right. That no matter how much self-defence LaRue was teaching you, it didn’t make sense as to the level of force he used on you. So that was why you had stopped becoming intimate with Jim, scared in case he would find the bruises on your body and think you couldn’t handle yourself. Well you could. You just needed to find out a way to knock LaRue the fuck out.

“Ensign Kirk” a voice called from behind you, making you grimace. At the moment all you wanted to do was get on with your work so you could go to your quarters and have a nice warm bath. 

“Hey Spock, what are you doing down here?” you greeted, waiting for him to fall instep with you. 

“I was wondering if you and the Captain are alright. The Captain seems very tense lately and I wished to know if there was anything I could do to help” Spock told me, following me down the corridor to my work station. 

“We’re fine Spock, don’t worry. Jim’s just feeling stressed. Maybe you and Bones should take him for a drink next time we’re on a planet. It might cheer him up” you suggested, feeling guilt whirl in your stomach. You knew the reason Jim was so tense lately was because of you. So to offer a suggestion that you knew would not help, it made you feel 10 times worse about the situation.

“Of course. Maybe you could join us Y/N” Spock offered, handing you your datapad for you to use.

“Thanks Spock, but I don’t think that would help. Besides, it’s a boy’s night out. The clue is kind of in the name” you smiled, pulling up your work before looking up at Spock. It was so good to be surrounded by friends, even if you couldn’t tell them everything. 


“Is that seriously all you got? I’ve seen more fight in a Klingon, you’re pathetic!” LaRue sneered, kicking you in the ribs as you tried to pull yourself up for what felt like the 100th time. In fact you were pretty sure it was.

“Well maybe I should have a better teacher” you hissed between gritted teeth as you clutched onto your ribs. Before you had time to say or do anything else, LaRue was gripping onto your elbow and pulling you up onto your feet again.

“You’re the one who wanted this, Princess! Why don’t you stop acting like a pathetic wimp and actually give me a fight” he growled, before punching you in your stomach. The pain almost had you throwing up as you tried to remember how to breathe again. Your mind became fuzzy as you concentrated on standing on your own two feet rather than collapsing at LaRue’s.

Turning to face him, you swung a punch at him but he ducked, landing a blow to your side. You grunted out in pain, landing on your knees. Already your bruised ribs were going to turn into a darker colour, you just knew it.

Dragging yourself up, you faced him, slightly unsteady on your feet. He smirked at you, enjoying seeing you so weak and in pain. Waiting for him to come at you, you timed it just right so you could punch him clear in the jaw. LaRue went down like a tonne of bricks and you felt a sigh of relief escape you. You had managed to knock that frustrating little smirk off his face.

However your victory was short lived as LaRue grabbed you around the waist and tackled you onto the mat. All your breath left you as you were winded, groaning out slightly at how much pain you was in. It felt like you had been hit with a starship.

“That’s enough for today! I’d say learn some better moves but it’s obviously a waste of my time and oxygen” he grunted, holding his bloodied lip. It still made you feel a tiny bit proud of yourself though.

Making your way down to your quarter for a shower, you couldn’t help but notice yourself struggling to breathe. Even though your ribs ached like they normally did, this time it felt like you were getting stabbed with every inhale and exhale. This time you couldn’t ignore it, especially when an ensign accidentally bumped into you and nearly sent your vision white with a burst of pain.

Grunting in both annoyance and pain, you realised that you’d have to go down to Medbay. 

Poking your head around the door, you could sigh in relief if it didn’t feel so bad when you didn’t see Bones in the vicinity. That meant he was either in his office doing work or that he was with Jim. Stepping properly into the room, you went to grab the attention of a nurse when you saw your luck go up in smoke. Bones had walked in from his office directly in front of you and had spotted you. Cursing your luck and Bones’s untimely appearance, you turned on your heel before he could call you.

“Y/N? What are you doing in here? That idiot hasn’t got himself hurt again has he?” Bones greeted, reaching out for your shoulder to spin you around. You flinched away, instantly regretting it as you had to breathe out through gritted teeth. “Y/N?” he frowned in concern, eyes raking over you.

“I’m fine, sore shoulder. I was just looking for Jim. Thought he’d be here. I’d better go though” you muttered, keeping your sentences short so you didn’t have to take in as much breath. 

Bones took in your hunched posture, clenched fists and slightly sweaty forehead, realising that something was wrong. “Yeah that’s not a sore shoulder. Come on” Bones stated, leading me to a bed. 

“Honestly Bones, it’s fine! You don’t need to worry, it’ll be fine once I have a shower and a good night’s rest” you protested, trying to think of some excuse to get you out of this. If they found out about this you knew they would become overprotective of you, not let it rest until they found out who was doing this to you. And Jim would feel so guilty about getting LaRue to teach you self defence.

“You can’t even stand up straight. Now shut up and get on the bed!” Bones ordered, preparing the tricorder he would need to scan you. 

“Your bedside manner is atrocious doctor” you complained as you did what you was told. Maybe you could just get away with it being a bruised rib. Yeah… that was the best you could hope for. 

“Well I don’t do this job to get friends, darlin’. Now sit still while I actually do my job” Bones muttered, beginning to scan you. He frowned, noticing the incredible amount of white blood cells in your blood stream but no actual cause of illness. He lowered the tricorder over your chest cavity before he stopped, staring at the result. What the hell?

“May I?” he asked gently, hands reaching for your regulation shirt. 

You gulped, jaw tightening before nodding. He lifted up your shirt, staring at the expanse of bruises that littered all over your body. There was various colours, indicating the age of the bruises: blues, blacks, greens and browns. The worst was over your ribs and even from here he could see the slight misshape of your lower ribs. 

“Who did this?” Bones growled, eyes shooting up to yours. 

“Bones, it’s nothing. I can handle-” you started, knowing exactly how this was going to work. 

“Like hell you can! You’ve broken a rib Y/N! It’s why you can’t breathe without it hurting. Now who’s done this to ya or do I have to call Jim?” he demanded, getting a hypospray ready to give you some painkillers. Sighing heavily, you told him to call Jim. It would be better if they were all here so you could tell them. You didn’t really want to have to repeat it to everybody.


“Y/N! Hey, what’s wrong? Bones said to come down to medbay at once” Jim frowned, hurrying to your side as Spock followed in after him. Bones quickly shut the divider firmly behind them. You sighed, resting yourself against Jim, grimacing as you did so.

“I uh… I need to tell you something. I didn’t mean to keep it from you but… uh… I mean” you stuttered, nerves eating at your stomach. What if they were mad at you? What if they blamed you in some way? All these questions ran through your head as you tried to find the right words.

“She’s got a broken rib, extensive bruising and she’s lucky to have missed out on internal bleeding” Bones reported, interrupting your stuttering to tell everybody his diagnosis.

“What? How? Are you okay?” Jim questioned, hands coming to skim over your sides and pull up your shirt. He stopped at seeing your bruised body, unable to take in the sight. This is why you had been so distant. Why you didn’t want him to touch you or even see you undress. “Who did this?” Jim whispered, voice deceptively calm.

“Jim, just listen for a minute okay. Don’t get mad” you sighed, holding onto your ribs. 

“Don’t get mad?! It looks like you’ve been beaten to within an inch of your life! Who did this to you? Y/N, you have to tell me” Jim shouted, gripping onto your shoulders. 

“LaRue.”

“I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him” Jim growled, jumping up from the bed and storming towards the exit. You knew without doubt that Jim would, the conviction in his voice and the anger which strum through his body would make sure of it. But you didn’t want Jim to do that. It would destroy him if it did. He would lose his Captaincy, get thrown out of Starfleet and lose all that he had worked so hard for. You knew it would kill him to go through that.

“Jim! Stop!” you cried, trying to follow him but you couldn’t. The movement had caused your whole chest and back muscles to spasm, making you crumple to the floor. You would have hit your head on the bed if it wasn’t for Bones catching you and trying to hold you back.

Jim stopped, looking torn between helping you and making sure you were alright. Or paying a visit to LaRue and throwing him out of an airlock. 

“Captain, maybe it is best to listen to Y/N. If you try and go after LaRue, I fear that Y/N may injure herself further by running after you” Spock objected, glancing at Jim as Bones helped me back onto the bed.

“Definitely agreeing with you there Spock…Jim, will you please just leave it. If you kill him, he’ll make sure you’ll lose everything you love. Including this ship” you told him, grimacing as you lay back down on the bed. 

“He already hurt the thing I love the most” Jim sighed, coming to sit on the side of your bed and take your hand.

“I’m going to give you a painkiller and then I’ll give you something for your ribs. It might knock you out for a few hours but you’ll be as good as new when you wake up” Bones informed, getting everything prepared.

“Does this mean he’s going to stab me with a hypospray again?” you whinged, pouting up at your husband who smiled reassuringly. However, before he could reply back, you felt a flare of pain in your arm as Bones pressed a hypospray into you. “OUCH!” you cried, pulling away as he reached for the spray that would mend your ribs. 

“Don’t be such an infant!” Bones scoffed, stabbing you again.

“Jim… you need to fire him!” you breathed, already feeling the medication work. You tried your best to fight it as you could blearily see Jim lean over and kiss your head. The last thing you saw before you fell asleep was Jim smiling at you softly as he cupped your cheek.


Kirk found LaRue just finishing up his shift when he cornered him in a practice room. “So let me guess? You thought it would be a good idea to hurt Y/N, the woman I love, because of something I did” Jim announced, making LaRue jump and spin around in fear. Jim felt a streak of pleasure at seeing the man who had hurt his wife now terrified of him.

“Captain… uh… what are you talking about?” LaRue murmured, glancing behind Jim at Spock and Bones who was blocking the door. They were furious, faces cold and hard with no hint of kindness at all. They loved Y/N like their own sister and they would not tolerate anyone hurting her.

“Of course not! Spock, why don’t you shut the door, this might take a while” Jim suggested, lips quirking up at LaRue. 

“Captain! Please! It’s a misunderstanding! I was teaching her self-defence!” LaRue protested, stepping back against the wall.

“Ensign Kirk had a broken rib and multiple bruises over her body. I fail to see how that is efficiently teaching her self-defence” Spock rebuked, raising an eyebrow at the officer in front of him.

“She was bound to get hurt while I was teaching her!” LaRue objected, trying anything to get himself out of this. Surely they wouldn’t hurt him right? I mean after all, there was protocol. 

“Good god man! You were meant to be teaching her, not beating her until she could barely breath! What kind of man are you to take advantage of her like that?” Bones snarled, stepping forward, fist clenched. 

“Let me see, it was because I passed the promotion to someone else wasn’t it?” Jim smirked, punching LaRue with a right hook on his jaw. LaRue went down like a tonne of bricks, clutching his jaw tightly as he groaned. “Or was it when I refused to pick you for a expedition when you had been drinking? Oh, is it because I had you court-martial because you were drunk on duty?” Jim growled, hitting him again and breaking LaRue’s nose. It sent blood spurting out over the floor. 

Jim grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt and slammed him into the wall, hearing the dull metal clunk at the impact. “Or was it because I embarrassed you back at the Academy because I beat you in all our classes? Huh? Is that it?” Jim snarled, kneeing LaRue in the side. LaRue groaned, doubling over onto the floor, clutching his side.

“So when you had the chance to hurt my wife, I bet you jumped at it. I bet there was a place deep inside your sick mind that couldn’t wait to make her feel the pain, the embarrassment that you felt” Jim hissed, crouching down to LaRue’s side. Jim gripped LaRue’s hair, making sure he was looking at him. “Well, just so you know. You’re going to be responsible for getting kicked off this ship, a court-martial back on Earth and knowing you’ll never be working on a starship ever again. Not if I can help it anyway” Jim growled, shoving him away.

“Jim, that’s enough. Come on!” Bones interfered, pulling Jim away from the gasping man. “I’ll get someone to bring him to medbay before he’s transported back to Starfleet” Bones told him, leading Jim away.

“Oh, if you ever touch Y/N again, I swear I will find you and I will kill you” Jim promised, holding onto his bloodied fist. 

“Captain, come. Y/N will be awake soon” Spock instructed, ushering Jim out the room while Bones called for some help to take LaRue down to the medbay for a check over.


When you woke up, you felt groggy and confused for a few moments, the medication still in your bloodstream. But at least you could breathe better now, the pain in your body gone. Looking to the side of you, you spotted Jim sitting in a chair next to yours. He had fallen asleep with his head on the bed, snoring slightly. Running your fingers through his soft blonde hair, you looked back at the bright ceiling before looking to your other side.

You gaped, shocked at what you saw. There in the bed next to you was LaRue. He was surrounded by security but he looked like he had been knocked out. Shaking your head, you realised what had happened.

Tugging on Jim’s hair to wake him up, you heard his cries of pain as you spun your head to scowl at him. “Ow what was that for?!” he complained, rubbing his head as he gaped at you.

“You have a lot of explaining to do, idiot!” you glowered, pointing to the bed next to you.

“Oh that… don’t pretend you don’t like my protectiveness Y/N” he smirked, leaning back in his chair.

“Jim Kirk, you are nothing but trouble” you sighed, shaking your head as you couldn’t help but smile at him. Because it was true. You did love how protective he was of you. Even if he didn’t listen to you.

Salad fingers sentences

“I like rusty spoons.”

“I must find the perfect spoon.”

“Hello there young child.”

“I’d like to caress this rusty kettle.”

“Today I’m having a little get together with my friends.”

“You are looking rather splendid this evening.”

“I wonder what you taste like.”

“I’ve got a fish in the oven if anyone’s interested.”

“Help…. Help me. Help….”

“I think the Heavens must have sent you.”

“I like it when the red water comes out.”

“I’ve been enjoying the pleasures of nettles.”

“What’s this rather queer looking contraption?”

“The nettles make me think happy times.”

“Ah, bubble trumps.”

“You’ve picked a rather late hour to be visiting me.”

“I think you’re called Milford Cubicle.”

“I’ll give you a little hand if you’re feeling rather fatigued.”

“Would you like a warm glass of milk?”

“I’m going to try and find France because I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“That little boy has been watching me for a while now.”

“What have you been gathering today little sister?”

“You’re body is so much fun.”

“I just want to give you a big stroke.”

“You’ve gotten flat little sister, and you’re all gooey.”

“Have I been gifted a grubby tap?”

“Oh how I’ve dreamt of taps.”

“I just want to marry all of you gorgeous taps.”

“I don’t like this game. I think I’m going to go home now.”

“Stop scratching your basket belly.”

“How rude! I’ve been disconnected.”

“I’ve made you a friend hat.”

“You look so beautiful. It’s your big day!”

“It seems our first guest has arrived. Would you like some confectionary?”

“I must say you’re a well mannered young lady.”

“I’d like to elect you as my new playmate.”

“Th-that’s a pretty looking front on your body, but it looks awfully dirty.”

“My tummy box feels broken.”

“Would you like some peas pudding?”

“I think he likes spoons too!”

“Do you not like my mouth words?”

“You’re just a stinky river.”

“Is this a present for me?”

“you hold a welcoming texture. A pleasure for the tips.”

“How long has it been since I’ve seen your chops?”

“No, this isn’t true, you’ve got the wrong bloke squire.”

“I never did get to sample the delights of your flavor.”

“The floor sugar does taste rather queer in this area.”

“It was frightfully rude of you blokes to leave for the great war without me.”

“Come inside and we’ll fix you a nice hot bath.”

“Lock up your daughters tonight general. They’ll be trouble in the maiden’s quarters.”

“Maybe you could come and tuck me in tonight, sailor.”

“I hope you like sand.”

“you’ve barely shuffled an inch all week.”

“Well, back you go then. Back to the ghastly trenches.”

“I only ask that out creator return you unspoiled.”

“No, you’re doing it all wrong! You’re not playing in the right key.”

“I like to listen to my radio.”

“What a hideous sound.”

“A man can’t cope with all these unpleasant frequencies about.”

“I think I’ll sit this one out in the safety cupboard.”

“Your legs are made of cotton and they’re far too long.”

“You all look so beautiple together.”

“I’ll have no dirty immigrants in my house.”

“It was quite bad mannered of you to keep one of my hairs.”

“OW daddy, that really hurt!! Daddy I’m bothered!!”

“Daddy, what happened to my end bits daddy!”

“We’ll have to get some bubble trumps and vinegar on there before it falls off.”

“I feel my day of reckoning may be approaching.”

“Bottles, smiles, nappies and wee. To my heart you’ve found the key.”

“Heavens to Betsy what now?”

“A lethargic child is a servant to the beast.”

“I’m going to be jolly cross with you in a minute.”

“I’m just here to ….. uhm… uh….. to. Ah- clean your windows!”

“You’re a bit pooey”

“Thems trousers a bit posh sunshine.”

“Who the devil are you?”

“You appear to be free of all information.”

“Well someone’s a soggy slumber-chops.”

“Don’t you crumple your face up at me.”

“I- I know it hurts. Just try and sit still whilst the doctor eats your blood.”

“I must have slept for six Mondays.”

“You should feel a great shame for this outcome sir. A great shame.”

“I shall wear it from here to the grave.”