why is there lettuce on it

types of fanfiction as things i have eaten

cotton candy/ candy floss : this is pure fluff. i write ‘fluff’ here but don’t be misled. these fics are the epitome of cavities. they will melt all your 206 bones and there will literally be no chance you’ll ever survive. they are delicacies saved for special occassions, so you might not read them all the time

spicy curry : there’s water coming out of your eyes and snot from your nose, but do you consider stopping? nope! these fics are addictively tasty, you know you should not be eating and would probably regret it later but nuh uh, they’re much too tasty for you to stop. and so you plunge yourself in this hell

finger foods : they are those oneshots that you want to read just for passing the time but suddenly you’re full just by feasting on them. perfectly crafted compact stories that are many a times better than the main course

spiced fruits : not many agree with these, the flangst fics where just a pinch of angst can do wonders to contrast the delicious flavors of fluff but the little sadness takes the joy of the plot to the greatest depths

soup/ramen :these are those comforting fics, those soulmate aus, those christmas aus, those college aus. they’re indulging and help soothe and calm you

chocolate : or any other food you’re not allowed to eat. these are er, the guilty pleasures aka smut fics. they have a pleasure quite unrivalled as they are so special

bread :it’s basic and shit but you’re hungry asf and these fics satisfy your appetite. they contain typos and are probably not that well written but to hell with it when there’s nothing else to eat

43 day old lettuce from the bottom of the fridge : you are broke and there are no groceries at home. these fics are love stories between the whomping willow and the ford anglia; in other words regrets

Do Something Bad, Too - Part 4

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Summary: It’s like every single Alpha on the planet won’t rest until they’ve confessed their eternal wish for you to mother their children, and it’s getting old. Luckily, that’s a problem Bucky might be able to fix.

Warnings: language, a/b/o dynamics, nsfw content (aka orgasms)

A/N: its finally here! sorry for taking like 30000 years but i got there in the end! happy new year, happy holidays, i hope everyone is well and i hope you enjoy this part!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

When you were in the army, you decided that you would never, ever chose an Alpha as a mate. You were surrounded by the worst kind day in day out - and, sure, when you moved companies nobody knew you were an omega thanks to the suppressants, but that just meant they felt like they could say all their shitty opinions about omegas in front of you as if you wouldn’t be offended.

In your opinion, 99% of Alphas were pigs and had zero respect for you no matter how successful you were, or how many suppressants you took. The past few weeks, however, have made you seriously reconsider that percentile.

Keep reading

STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!

*These are completely interchangeable, they’re just in categories to make it easier for all of y’all.

FOR AMIGOS;

  • “How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”
  • “You were right. As per usual.”
  • “Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”
  • “You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”
  • “Is that – that’s a naked Scarlett Johansson on your fridge.”
  • “You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”
  • “Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”
  • “I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”
  • “Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”
  • “I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”
  • “Hey! Give me your pants. Quick, give me your pants.”
  • “No, I’m serious. Stop it right now or I won’t give you the last cookie.”
  • “You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”
  • “How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”
  • “I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”
  • “Hippos are hungry, hungry! And you are considerably larger than a small piece of lettuce!”
  • “When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”
  • “I don’t even miss my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, I just miss my glockenspiel.”
  • “It happens to everyone, you just sell your skirt for some coke.”
  • “Please do not pull your pants down in front of baby Jesus.”
  • “That’s not the phrasing you want to use.”
  • “Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”
  • “Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”
  • “When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”
  • “We have to change our names and run away to Mexico. It’s the only way. Adios.”
  • “How much money do you have on you?”
  • “Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”
  • “Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”
  • “For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”

FOR LOVERS;

  • “I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”
  • “I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”
  • “I need you to tickle my feet but like, sexually.”
  • “If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”
  • “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
  • “I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”
  • “I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”
  • “Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”
  • “Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”
  • “I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”
  • “Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”
  • “If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”
  • “Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”
  • “Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”
  • “We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”
  • “So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”
  • “My dog licks better than you do.”
  • “But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”
  • “I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”
  • “And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”
  • “I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”
  • “This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”
  • “I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”
  • “Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”
  • “A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”
  • “Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”
  • “Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”
  • “Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”
  • “I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”
  • “I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”
  • “I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”

FOR TEXTERS;

  • [text] This is upsetting my poop.
  • [text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.
  • [text] So it involves feces and large birds.
  • [text] She said that to you? Why?
  • [text] Please come back. I miss you.
  • [text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?
  • [text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.
  • [text] …did you just send me a nude?
  • [text] FUCK OFF YOU ONE-EYED WHORE.
  • [text] I don’t know why I said that.
  • [text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.
  • [text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.
  • [text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?
  • [text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.
  • [text] Please. I need this so badly.
  • [text] I trust you completely.
  • [text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.
  • [text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.
  • [text] She lost it. She completely lost it. She said her uterus was attacking her bone marrow.
  • [text] I will not get you donuts.
  • [text] Please? I love you.
  • [text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.
  • [text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.
  • [text] I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t think he’d duck when the ball came at him, I’m sorry.
  • [text] You’re cute.
  • [text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.
  • [text] Fuck off.
  • [text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.
12x15 Coda: Heaven Doesn’t Come With Keys

After meeting with the angels, Cas thinks about his wings.  Dean decides he wants to see.  12x15 coda, destiel, 1.2k

They can all see.

Castiel tucks his tattered wings more closely to his back.  One flutters uneasily as someone brushes by; he hasn’t had so many people close to them in a long time.  He doesn’t miss how Kelvin’s eyes rove over them.  How no one quite looks him in the eyes because they’re more focused on the shredded feathers sticking out every which way.

Later, that’s all he can think about.

Cas lets himself into the bunker, some of the hollow feeling in his chest easing at the glide of the key in the lock.  Heaven doesn’t come with keys.  Doesn’t come with something to confirm that he belongs there.

“You’re home early,” Dean says as he walks into the war room, carrying a stack of books.

When he sets them down on the map table, a small puff of dust rises up.  He glares at them, as if they’ve personally set out to offend him with dirt in his bunker.  Cas swallows the lump in his throat at the word home.  

“I lost Kelly’s trail.”

Dean doesn’t look disappointed. “We’ll find her eventually.” Then, “Want a burger?  I’m about to start dinner.”

Heaven doesn’t have burgers, either.   Cas follows him obediently into the kitchen.  When he begins to roll up his sleeves to help, Dean pushes him gently on to one of the benches at the table.

“You’re quiet,” Dean notes.  He shoots Cas a smirk. “I mean, not your normal sort of quiet.”

Cas looks down at his hands, clasped on top of the table, before he speaks. “I was approached by an angel.  Joshua wants me back in Heaven.”

Dean stops right in the middle of shaping his second patty.  “Joshua.  As in the gardener guy?”

“Yes.”

Haltingly, he begins to shape the patty again, using a little more force than strictly necessary, not quite looking at Cas.  A long few moments go by as he sets the patties down one beside the other.  Then he moves to chop up some onions and tomatoes. (“Sammy always wants something green,” he’d told Cas once.)

“Are you going to? Go back, I mean?”

Dean says it casually, but Cas can tell by the fact that he’s stalled right in the middle of putting the onions on his burger that he’s more affected than he’s letting on.

Keep reading

They take a shortcut through a kind of run down neighborhood, meaning that the streets are narrow and the roads are all bumpy. It’s one broken segment of pavement after another. The driver apologizes but says the route is ten minutes shorter and traffic-free, despite the conditions. Harry tells him not to worry about it.

“S’alright, mate.”

Y/N first worries briefly, if it is alright because from where Fionn’s got his arm around Y/N’s waist he digs his fingers into her skin through her clothing and it triggers something carnal inside of her. Her thoughts drift to ones that verge inappropriate, nearly have her cheeks heating. It would all be fine if she wasn’t intimately in Fionn’s lap and his grip wasn’t verging possessive.

And then YN worries, again, because she realizes these thoughts triggered by Fionn’s tight grip are mutual. There is an undoubtedly existent bulge budging against Y/N’s bum from Fionn pants.

She swallows and looks at Harry, instinctively, almost, and because she’s a bit overwhelmed, frozen because she doesn’t know how to proceed with this information.

or, Y/N’s a film student working on the set of Dunkirk and Harry’s her sugar daddy who likes to watch her have sex with Fionn.

Keep reading

Mr. Min - Chapter 03

Description:  Your CEO caught your attention the first day you started your new job and it seems the attraction is mutual.  Too bad he’s only interested in a relationship that benefits him.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jungkook

Genre: Smut and Angst

Word Count: 26,490 (whoopsy doodle)

Warning: Dom!Yoongi, abusive elements, breath play, punishment, a lot of demeaning names, high levels of assholery

Playlist - Prologue - Ch 01 - Ch 02 - Ch 03 - Ch 04 - Ch 05 - Ch 06

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

You guys MUST give us more details about the proposal(s) - How Stiles proposed and how Derek was planning to propose. Please and thank you <3

“Son, you need to calm down.”

Stiles paused in his pacing to spin on his heel, arms flailing, and fixed his father with a wide-eyed stare.

“Calm down?” His voice hitched, “Calm down? You told me he’s going to propose, dad. That’s- that’s huge.”

John raised one hand in a sort of placating gesture, “Now, I never said-”

“You implied it,” Stiles was vaguely aware that his hands were shaking as he dialled Derek’s number, for the third time in the span of a minute. A frustrated noise died in his throat when it went straight to voicemail, again.

“Stiles, I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of this,” John stabbed another piece of lettuce with his plastic fork, and pulled a face as if it had personally offended him. “This tastes like nothing.”

“Eat your goddamn salad,” Stiles muttered, eyes fixed on his screen as he typed out a string of texts. Badly punctuated, slightly hysterical texts.

“Not until you sit down and tell me what the issue is, here,” John tilted his head meaningfully towards the chair across from him, “I don’t want you having a panic attack.”

Stiles slumped into the seat, reluctant, and bit at his thumb. He narrowed his eyes at his left knee, which kept bobbing up and down as his leg twitched.

“What’s the problem, Stiles?”

I was the one who was supposed to propose first, okay?” the words left his mouth faster than he could think of them, a little louder than he’d intended. At his father’s questioning look, he took a deep breath and continued, “In theory. I mean, I didn’t see it happening for another year or two.”

“So you think it’s too soon.”

“Not necessarily, no- it’s just…” Stiles exhaled heavily, ran unsteady fingers through his hair, “maybe. Maybe it is. That’s the problem- I’m not sure. Do you really think we’re ready for this?”

“I know that you and Derek love each other,” the Sheriff’s brow was furrowed, “There isn’t any doubt there, right?”

“None at all,” Stiles said- immediately, reflexively. “It’s just that…God, I don’t know.” he groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

“Didn’t you have any doubts before you proposed to mom?” he asked quietly, through his fingers.

“Of course I did,” his dad’s response was soft, “How could I not? She was an amazing woman and I still wasn’t entirely convinced I deserved her. But…” Stiles lifted his head in time to see his dad shrug. “It’s normal to have doubts, son.”

The sound that escaped Stiles was helpless: “Derek’s not perfect, but neither am I. I’m kind of obnoxious and I talk too much and–  and at the end of the day, I’m just kinda an anxious mess, dad. I still have the nightmares, like, weekly. Should anyone really have to put up with that?

“And- and Derek has his own issues, but at the end of the day I’ve actually seen that he’s the sweetest goofball of a man and I love him so much and he’s probably got some huge romantic gesture planned that I could never top but, goddammit, I really wanted to propose to him first-”

“I’m going to stop you there,” his dad levelled him with a look, “Just tell him, Stiles.”

“What- tell him what?” Stiles muttered to his knees.

“Everything you just told me.”

“But I-”

“Go to him, tell him these things, and- goddammit, Stiles- just propose to him, if you want to propose.”

“I. I don’t have a ring, though-”

Go.” His father jabbed a finger towards the door.

Stiles shot up from his chair and was out of the office within the minute.

John dumped his salad in the trash.


The front porch of the Hale house made one hell of a noise when you walked on it- Stiles knew this, because he was physically incapable of walking around quietly (unlike certain werewolves that he knew). Currently, it was kicking up one hell of a protest as he stomped towards the front door, floorboards whining under his sneakers; not that he cared, not that he really registered the sound over the rushing in his ears. His heart was in his throat and his mind was running a mile a minute and he needed to remind himself to breathe.

Stiles took a shuddery breath and flung the door open. It hit the inside wall with a bang.

I was going to propose first, asshole!”

Okay, maybe not the best way he could have phrased that. He’d have to try again.

Derek, who seemed to be in the middle of assembling some kind of furniture, fumbled and dropped the screwdriver in his hands (goddammit, Derek never fumbled, what the hell). He turned to face Stiles; his ridiculous puppy eyes were wide and his eyebrows were doing the thing.

“Stiles, what-”

“You know what.” Stiles stalked across the room, gripped the front of Derek’s henley with his fists. “You were going to propose tomorrow, weren’t you?”

“I-” Derek looked crestfallen, suddenly, eyes shifting to the side as he said, “I’m sorry? I-”

“No, shut up and listen to me,” Stiles’ voice was low, intense, as he leaned closer and made Derek look him in the eye.

“I love you so much, Derek. So freaking much it scares me.” He loosened his grip a fraction, smoothed down the wrinkles in Derek’s shirt with one hand, “I love how you have this sense of humour that you only really share with me. I love the little crinkles around your eyes when you smile. I actually kind of love when you’re grumpy, too.

“I like it when you don’t shave and you get stubble burn all over me. I like that you’re actually, like, friends with my dad,” Stiles laughed, “I. I still have no idea how that happened, actually.”

Derek grabbed onto the hand that Stiles kept running down his shirt, lacing their fingers together,“Stiles–”

“No, I’m not done. So, yeah, sometimes we have our differences, like when you argue that a bald cupcake most definitely is a muffin-”
“But it is-”

“Shut up, it’s not.” He pressed his fingers to Derek’s lips, and Derek’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m trying to tell you that I love our differences. I love that we can argue and it can still be fun.”

Derek’s lips twitched, like he was fighting a smile.

Stiles lowered his eyes and went on,  “And…and I love that you’ll wake me up from my nightmares, help me count my fingers and calm down- and I just. I–” he shook his head, “I’m being cheesy, now, or whatever, I know– but you probably had something three times as romantic as this planned, so.”

Derek stared at him for a minute, gaze soft. He pressed a kiss to Stiles’ fingers, and Stiles lowered his hand.

“May I speak now?” Derek murmured.

“Just,” Stiles threw his hands up, “Will you marry me or not, you dork?”

Derek swept him- literally swept him into his arms, his feet left the floor- into what could only be described as a bruising kiss. Stiles made a soft, desperate noise and clutched at Derek’s shoulders, raised one hand and slid it along Derek’s jaw. Derek bit at his lower lip, licked into his mouth, and Stiles groaned and arched into him, seeking the warmth, craving the intensity. Gradually, the kiss slowed- became something softer, sweeter. Stiles pulled back reluctantly to take a breath, and Derek mouthed at his jaw.

“That’s a yes, right?” Stiles asked, on an exhale.

Derek buried his face in Stiles’ neck and laughed.

“You’re ridiculous,” Derek’s lips moved against his throat- soft, familiar. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

Stiles grinned so hard it hurt, and ran his fingers through Derek’s hair, “Good. Wanna put me down, now?”

“Nah,” Derek nipped at him playfully, “Think I wanna carry you upstairs.”

“Oh, good idea, yes. The best idea.” He hit at Derek’s shoulder, “Go, what are you waiting for.”

It didn’t take them very long to get to the bedroom.

((hope this was okay, anon <3))

Confession

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: Jensen flies home earlier than planned and what he finds in his house is a pleasant surprise.

Prompt: “Um…did you move into my house?“

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Requested by: @tas898


Jensen lets out a huge sigh of relief pulling into his four car garage. He throws his dark gray SUV into park and hauls ass into his country styled house, suitcases in tow. He’s finally made it home to Austin after a grueling few weeks of shooting nonstop. 

Sighing dramatically, Jensen decides it’s time to stuff his face with junk food and catch up on Game of Thrones. Humming to himself, he makes way down the hall until loud noises catch his attention. Is that a Seinfeld rerun playing?

For a split second, the thought that someone broke in crosses Jensen’s tired mind. His dumb ass quickly remembers that the house has an extensive alarm system so the noise must be from you.

You being his long time best friend that randomly checks on the house when he’s gone. Other than his parents and Jared, you’re the only one he trusts to do that. You’re one of the few he trusts in general actually.

Keep reading

Coffee Shop Soundtrack

Pairing: Scott McCall x Reader

Warning: Stalkerish (ish), Public sex, oral sex, cursing, filth, sin, NSFW, 18+, Smut

A/N: Absolutely nothing to do with All Time Low’s song, I was just listening to it so why not? Enjoy y’all! I spent so long deciding who to give this imagine to, Scott or Stiles and Ep12 just gave me the Scott feels so !

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines


There he was again, sitting in the same seat that he occupied every day for the last week for over three hours; he’d order four cappuccinos and one latte throughout his time in the wooden seat, and his eyes would either be fixated on the moving cars out of the full length windows or on the staff bustling around behind the counter - his eyes always lingering on your figure longer than the others.

His shaggy brown hair was always in a mess, but he was still undeniably handsome. His deep chocolate orbs would light up when your eyes connected to his, and he’d send a shy, tight-lipped smile your way. You’d blush, looking away or divert your attention to another customer at the till waiting for their order to be taking.

Keep reading

BTS’s reaction to you starting a diet:

Jin: “But I wanted you to be a special guest on Eat Jin,” your boyfriend pouts (an impressive feat with his mouth full of food). He’s very against the idea of you going on a diet – who’s going to help him clear up all the food he can’t manage?

You raise an eyebrow, while he swallows and asks – “What? Do I have something on my face?”

“Just a little…” You reach across the table separating the two of you, and wipe some sauce from the corner of his lips, before popping your finger in your mouth.

Jin chuckles, “Isn’t eating that sauce against your diet?”

“It’s just sauce.”

“Sauce that’s high in fat and salt!”

“This is why you’re a rubbish boyfriend - making me break my diet. For shame!” You poke your tongue out at him.

Jin sighs. “Ah well, I guess if you’re on a diet now, that means more food for me. And I was going to order that ice-cream you like for the next episode of Eat Jin as well…”

That’s playing dirty! “You wouldn’t!” you scoff, knowing full well that he will, and that when you ask for a lick, just the tiniest taste – he’ll offer you the whole scoop - your favourite flavour too - and boom! there goes your diet, and all your good intentions. The worst part is – you won’t mind, because Jin’s kisses will taste that extra bit sweeter seeped in vanilla and strawberry ice-cream.

Originally posted by jeonsshi


Yoongi: Yoongi can tell something’s up. You’re being extremely quiet, and you haven’t touched any of the pizza on your plate. Jostled up beside your talkative friends, you’re like a lone grey cloud in the middle of a blue June sky.

Yoongi finishes off the crumbs on his own plate, then stands. “Well, I guess I’ll go wash up,” he says, “Y/N, do you wanna come help?”

You scrunch your nose at him, but follow him to the kitchen anyway, away from the busy chatter of your friends.

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Yoongi asks, when the two of you are out of earshot.

You fiddle with a loose strand on your sweater. “Nothing’s wrong.” There’s a moment of hesitation, and you pull at the thread a little harder, twisting it around your finger. “I just don’t want to eat too since I’ve -” The last part is mumbled.

“You’ve what?”

“…I’ve started dieting.” Your cheeks turn pink.

“Dieting?” Yoongi repeats, “Why?”

“I need to lose some weight.”

He shakes his head. “That’s simply not true. You’re the perfect weight, and I don’t want to hear you saying otherwise. I like you the way you are now.” He gives your arm a gentle poke. “I like this part.” He pokes your stomach. “And this part.” He moves up to your nose. “And this part. I like all of it. It’s all perfect.”

You blush, and bat his hand away. “Yeah, yeah… don’t get all mushy.” But when you go back to join your friends, Yoongi’s happy to see you tucking into a fat slice of pizza.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas


Hosoek: “Ugh…” That’s a sound you haven’t heard from Hoseok in a while – the sound he makes when he knows he’s fighting a losing battle against you. But he won’t give up without a fight - oh no! He’ll see a smile break through that perfected pout of yours, even if it means bringing out the big guns! An exaggerated eye-roll and a funny face secures his victory, and you can’t cap the laughter that fizzes up inside you - this is definitely the best way to deal with a couple’s quarrel.

“Stop that,” you bash playfully at his chest, and he bends over in feigned pain –

“Wow, Y/N, you’re so mean to me! And when I’m trying to help you out as well!”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes. “Hoseok, you stopping me from dieting isn’t going to help anything. I need to take better care of my health. You should be supporting this.”

He straightens up, straightens his face, and fixes you with a serious look. “Okay, I’ll support you – but only if you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

“I’m doing it to get healthier!”

“And you know that-”

“- that I’m completely gorgeous, with the perfect body, and that I don’t need to diet at all, and that you’re lucky to have me.”

He catches your face in his hands, palms pressing your cheeks softly, before he plunges in for a kiss. “Damn right.”

Originally posted by hoseokayo


Namjoon: “You dieting? Good one, babe.” Namjoon’s dimples deepen, his smile erupting into a fully-fledged laugh.

And then he realises you’re not joking. And his face falls. “Wait, really? You’re dieting? Why?” His mind kicks into overdrive, wondering, worrying about what could have caused this sudden decision. Before, you would have happily helped him finish off pizzas or ice-cream sundaes, but now you’re talking about empty calories and cutting carbs.

“I need to fix my figure,” you tell him, brow wrinkling into a frown.

Namjoon looks you up and down. “Babe…”

“What?”

His eyes trace your body a second time. “Babe.”

“What?” you demand again.

He shakes his head. “You do not need to get in shape. Your body is so sexy.”

“Sexy?” Your nose crinkles. “You think I’m sexy?”

“Unbelievably sexy.”

You consider this for a moment. Then – “Well… I guess if you think so, maybe I’m okay.”

“No, not just okay, but-”

“Sexy, right?” You finish his sentence for him, a glint in your eyes.

“Right! Sexy.” He purrs the word.

“Say it one more time.”

“Only if you promise to stop this talk of dieting.”

“Deal.”

“Sexy.”

Originally posted by myloveseokjin


Jimin: “But I bought all these biscuits for you!” Jimin gazes at the plate of cream-coated cookies in distress, then back up at you, his eyebrows furrowing. This isn’t how he imagined you accepting his date-night gift.

You grin sheepishly. “Sorry… I forgot to tell you I was starting a diet.”

“Can’t you leave it till tomorrow?”

Your mouth pops open in mock horror. “That would be cheating!”

“In all seriousness though, dieting’s no fun. Trust me, I’ve tried it before, and it didn’t make me any happier, or healthier.” Jimin’s mouth pulls down at the corners a little, before his usual smile returns. “Come on. Just one… they’re really tasty. Just take one.” As he says this, he picks up a cookie, and bites into it slowly, never breaking eye-contact with you. It’s a challenge. (Eat one! I dare you!)

You give in. Of course you do. It’s Jimin. Leaning towards him, you kiss some of the crumbs off the corner of his mouth, then, with the taste of sugar fresh on your tongue, you concede, “Maybe one or two couldn’t hurt.” A smug grin paints itself across Jimin’s face as you reach for the plate.

Tomorrow. You can start your diet tomorrow…

Or the day after that…

Originally posted by sugakookie


Taehyung: Taehyung doesn’t understand it. To him, you’re the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on – you’re prettier than diamonds, and stardust, and wildflowers, and sunsets, and the pictures of waterfalls they stick on travel brochures. In short - you’re perfection personified. So, Taehyung can’t wrap his head around the idea of you dieting because you’re (quote) ‘so disgusting’.

It’s eating him up, knowing that you’re unhappy, and not knowing how he can fix it. All he can do is smile, and promise you that the voice in your head is lying to you. “But I never lie, Y/N. Not to you. Not about this.”

Still, your lips stay down-turned, eyes dull, not properly seeing him through your tears.

“Y/N…”

You wipe you eyes.

“Y/N, look at me.”

You blink a few times, and look up.

“Smile.”

You do. Despite all the negative thoughts that are bubbling around you, you manage to smile, and that’s all Taehyung needs to smile too.

“There, right there, that’s what perfection looks like.” He frames your face with his fingers, then slips his hands on down to your shoulders, looping around you and pulling you close.

Originally posted by bangtannoonas


Jungkook: “You’re what?” Jungkook cocks his head at you, looking like a confused puppy across the café table.

“Dieting…” you say past a mouthful of lettuce leaves, “Quit looking at me like that. I’m not speaking an alien language. D-i-e-t-i-n-g. Dieting.”

His head remains fixed in place, tilted to one side, the corners of his eyes scrunching up.

“Stop it!” You throw a napkin at him, which misses its target and floats down to the floor. You’re laughing, and he eventually breaks his gaze to chuckle as well.

“Okay, but seriously, why are you dieting?” His arms stretch across the table, reaching for your wrists as you bring another forkful of salad to your mouth.

A shrug is his answer. “I’ve just been feeling… I don’t know… ugly lately.”

“You don’t look ugly lately.”

Your eyes trail up to his. “You’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend - you have to say nice things.”

“No way!” He leans further over the table, cupping your face in his hands, “Listen, if you want to diet for your health – fine. But I don’t ever want you thinking you’re ugly, because -  honestly! cross my heart and hope to die! - you are-” (he leans forward and kisses you) “- gorgeous.”

Originally posted by bwibelle


! none of the gifs are mine !

TDA Characters as Things My Friends Have Said/Done

Emma: *almost burns down the cabin while trying to turn on the fireplace*  “DON’T BLAME ME!! I’VE NEVER MADE A FIRE BEFORE!!

Julian: *is trying to finish an art assignment due the next day*  “I can feel my eye bags multiplying by the second*

Mark: *bumps into a sandbag*  “Oh I’m sorry

Cristina: “weed is the devils lettuce”

Kieran: *goes into a daze and instead of going to class, just walks around the football field for 20 minutes*

Ty: *ignores studying for finals in order to finish a book they started*

Livvy: “B**ch if you don’t apologize, I will whoop your a$$

Kit: *shady smirk* “don’t worry…I know a guy

Dru: *overhears a popular girl talking to her friends about getting a custom fit bra from Victoria’s Secret*  “ha no wonder why she needs a custom bra…there’s nothing there

Tavvy: *draws hand turkeys in science class*

Arthur:  “every day that passes is just one step closer to the sweet release of death

Annabel: Ugh why am I still alive?

Zara: *passes a dumpster* “I’m home

anonymous asked:

Mulder and Scully make dinner together and mess it up

Things That Happen in the Kitchen
by mldrgrl
Rated PG13

“Scully, can I ask you a personal question?” Mulder asked.  He’d been twirling a pencil between his fingers and watching her type up a report on her computer for the better part of fifteen minutes, and she knew from experience that his silence wouldn’t last long.

“No,” she answered, taking only a brief pause before she began typing again, trying to ignore his gaze, which she could feel boring holes into the back of her head.  Her neck tingled and she flicked her head back to shake the feeling away

“Can you cook?”

“Of course I can cook.”

“Why, ‘of course?’  I’m supposed to believe you can do everything perfectly?”

Scully smiled in spite of herself, but her back was to Mulder so she knew he wouldn’t see her amusement.  “Seven years later, you’ve finally caught on.”

“You know what I’ve also learned in seven years, Scully?”

“What?”

“I need proof.”

Scully smiled again, but kept typing.  “What about you?”

“Does soup count?”

“Hardly.”

“Spaghetti?”

“Not quite.”

“I guess not.”

Scully nodded once and put her attention back into her report.  She’d lost her place in the moment she let her mind wander to engage in conversation with Mulder and she had to backtrack to find her train of thought again.

“So, what about Friday night?” Mulder asked.

“What about it?” she murmured, re-reading her last paragraph.

“You coming over and teaching me how to cook.”

Scully finally turned in her chair to face Mulder and he stopped twirling his pencil, though the grin on his face remained.  She lifted her brow as if to question his sanity.

“It’ll be fun,” he said.  

“Basically, you just want me to feed you.  What do I get out of it?”

“You get to put your money where your mouth is.  Try to prove to me you know what you’re doing.  I know how much you enjoy that.”

“I don’t enjoy proving you wrong, it’s just so easy to do.”

“I said try, Scully.  I still contend you have yet to actually prove me wrong.”

Scully raised her brow again, definitely questioning his sanity this time.  She turned back around and put her hands on her keyboard, but didn’t type.

“How’s seven?” she asked.

“Works for me,” he answered, twirling his pencil again.  She could see him grinning in the reflection of her computer screen.

********

Keep reading

Too late for that -Tom Holland

A/N: I don’t know why I keep ripping my own heart out. The second part is even worse. Enjoy!

Life is really not that entertaining when you are in bed half of the time and the other half you’re wandering through the hospital. Either to talk to doctors or to get yourself ran through tests and medication. It was one of those days where you didn’t have much energy because of the chemo and just lied in bed looking out the window. The tube in your nose tickled every few seconds when it sprayed fresh oxygen into your nose. You looked over to the door when it opened and your mom came in.
“Hey sweetie!” she said and was literally glowing with excitement.

“Uh..hi?” you said and were confused on why she was so emotional.
“What’s up?”

“Nothing. Just brought you some clothes and thought we should get you a little prepped up. I read that caring about yourself should help you get better. You’re always wearing that hospital thing. I brought you some nice jeans and a blouse. We can do your hair, maybe?” she offered and took the clothes out of the bag and laid them across the bed.
“Yeah…I guess.” you said and shrugged your shoulders In the last few months where your condition got worse you didn’t have the heart to say no to things which seemed to make your mom a little happier. To have cancer sucked, but to have a kid that suffered from cancer sucked even more. That’s the reason why you tried to keep her happy even though getting out of these comfy clothes was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Alright. Let’s get you out of bed.”

After you changed into the clothes your mom brought which you could have found cute if your bones weren’t poking out of your skin, showing how much weight you had lost. You were breathing heavily after you changed and had to sit down to calm your breathing.
“I’ll just put my hair in a ponytail.” you said out of breath and gave her a small smile before closing your eyes and concentrating on your breathing. After your lungs seemed to calm down a little you reached up to put your hair into a ponytail.

“How do I look?” you asked and smiled up to your mom who was obviously hiding her tears.
“Mom…” you sighed but she wiped them away immediatly and put a big smile on.
“You look stunning.” she said and made you chuckle. You leaned back against the head of the bed and pulled the blanket over your legs because your body didn’t really know how to heat up or how to cool down properly.

“I-…uh”, you started and closed your eyes again trying to not concentrate on the pain in your chest,“I should get some rest now. We’ll go out for a walk later, if you want?”
“Of course honey.” she approved and brushed her hand over your hair while leaning in to give you a kiss on your forhead, “Get some rest.”

***

You probably slept for half an hour even though you’d tell your mom you slept for two or three so she wouldn’t worry. The pain wasn’t always unbarable but it was always lingering in your chest which didn’t let you rest. You were looking out the window again, feeling a little drousy but not able to sleep. The wind outside was relentless, constantly dragging the trees and flowers in every direction. They were at the winds mercy, bound to be destroyed or survive without having a say in it. Helpless. Your gaze trailed back inside to your own body. Your hands were in your lap, your legs were outstreched - still in those light blue jeans.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door and the head of your mom peaked through the gap.
“Can I come in?” she asked and you nodded and waved her in. She was grinning again but this time she was holding her phone up as if she was filming you.
“What’s that?” you asked sceptically and raised an eyebrow.
“Nothing.” she answered and at the same time the door opened wide and someone in a red suit flipped into the room, landing perfectly right beside your bed.
“Oh, shit!” you cursed while laughing and pressed your hand against your chest because it startled you a little.
“Language!” your mom scolded you halfheartedly and you rolled your eyes.

“Hey! I’m Spiderman!” the person in the suit said, the mask muffling his voice and reached his hand out for you to shake it.
“I can see that. I’m Y/N.” you chuckled and shook his hand and pulled your hand back again.
“Nice to meet you.” he said and walked over to the side of the bed and reached out for his mask. As soon as he pulled it over his head your eyes widened and you felt your cheeks blush.
“Oh you’re really cute.” you blurted out and looked away while you heared him laugh at your comment. Now you understood why your mom insisted on changing your clothes. You would have been angry with her if she had let him see you in those hospital robes.

***

Tom, as you later found out, was a great actor. You hadn’t seen Civil War and Spiderman: Homecoming wasn’t released yet so you weren’t aware of the fact that they had cast a new Spider-Man. But he was great, he talked to you for a bit, made you laugh and for a little moment you felt admired. Because he had this look on his face as if he did not see you in this hospital bed. He talked to you as if you were two young adults at a party getting to know each other, but then he had to go on to the other people and surprise them. His manager actually came in to tell him that it was time to keep going. You did not expect to see him ever again. He was an actor after all, famous all around the world.

But he was going to prove you wrong. Almost a week later there was a knock on your door. It couldn’t be your mom because she was at work. It couldn’t be the doctors because they came in literally five minutes ago. You furrowed your brows trying to figure out who it could be but it was pointless.
“Come in!” you called and the door opened slowly. Someone in a black hoodie slipped through the gap and closed the door behind him. As soon as he turned around your mouth fell open.

“Hey.” he greeted you and took his hoodie off and shook his head to fix his curly hair.
“Wait a se-…Tom?” you said trying to figure out what was happening.
“Ah, okay. Alright where are the cameras? Mom! You can come out now!” you called with a smile on your face and looked around to see them coming out. But there was no one.
“Actually..” he said and stepped closer and pulled out sunflowers from behind his back, “it’s just me this time.” he added and handed you the flowers and sat down next to your bed on a chair.

You looked down to the flowers and up to Tom again, blinking, showing your confusion.
“Are you…okay?” he chuckled and waved infront of your face and made you look into his eyes.
“How did you expect me to react? Freaking Tom Holland just snuck into my hospital room.” you said and threw your hands into the air.
“Not my smoothest move. I admit.” he chuckled and scratched the back of his head.
“You don’t say.” you teased him while asking yourself where you got the boost of confidence in the back of your head.
“If you had given me a heads up, I would’ve changed into something…less hospital-y.” you joked while pointing st the robe and made him chuckle.
“Why? I see a perfectly fine, beautiful girl.” A smirk appeared on his face and you had to press your lips together not to grinn like an idiot.
“Not very smooth either.”

“Shit.” he chuckled and brushed his hand through his hair. His gaze traveled from your nightstand up to the bag of red-brown-ish liquid that was attached to a tube which lead to your arm. His eyes widened a little while stared at it and an awkward silence developed.
“It’s not as bad as it looks.” you said finally and his gaze jumped to you while his cheeks flushed.
“I-..I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-…stare.” he said while shaking his head and you shrugged your shoulders. “It’s fine. I stare at it sometimes. You try to understand things that keep you alive.” you tried to joke but it was a way too touchy topic.

“Anyways!” you added before another awkward silence could start, “why are you here?”
“I remebered having a good conversation with a gorgeous woman, so I had to come back to check on her.”

“Still. Not very smooth.”

“But effective.”

***

Surprisingly you had a very good time with the man you just had met. And after that he kept coming in as much as his schedule allowed him to. To a point where you became really good friends and maybe a little more which concerned you very much. It scared you, having feelings for somebody, knowing your state. Almost four months in, where your condition got worse every day, you were having some really dark thoughts. Did you deserve to be loved? Was it fair to somebody else to begin a relationship when you knew you’d leave soon? Were you even allowed to love anyone? To let someone love you?
“Hey starnger.”
Tom walked in with his hands full of bags and a flower between his teeth.
“Wha-…” even though you were not feeling well at all he still managed to make you laugh.
“Take it.” he mumbled and leaned down for you to take the flower and you did.
“A guy gotta eat.” he said and winked before sitting down and unpacked the food.
“I can’t eat any of those.” you said with a raised brow and he nodded.
“I know. That’s why I got you…this!” he said and pulled out a whole head of lettuce and held it right under your nose.
“Ha ha. Very funny, Holland.” you said pushing his hand away and rolled your eyes while trying to hide your smile.
“I know baby. I am the funniest.” he said in a cocky voice and you hit his shoulder playfully.
“Shut up.”

It was almost midnight when a nurse came in for the fifth time and told him to get lost this time. I asked her for five minutes and she was kind enough to leave us alone.
“Alright. I better get going. You need to rest.” he said and leaned down to give you a kiss on your forhead.
“Tom.” you blurted out when he had already turned his back on you.
“Yes?”

“I need you to keep in mind that my condition isn’t getting better.” you said and he raised his brows.

“So?”

“So…don’t.” you tried to give him a hint but he acted dumb.

“Don’t…what?”

“You know what I mean Tom. I’m dying!” you blurted out finally and crossed your arms infront of your chest.

“No I don’t and no you’re not.” he said while shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders like a child who didn’t want to come inside, even if it got dark outside.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” he added and blew you a kiss which made you sigh.

“Tom.” you stopped him again and took a deep breath, “Don’t fall in love with me.”

“A little too late for that.” he said and you saw him grinn before he left your room to avoid the angry nurse.

I ate lasagna for a trip to Fairyland

So I’ve just realised that I never told you about the time my parents conned me into being the perfect daughter by pretending that a group of fairies lived behind my bookcase for an entire year, and they kept up this devious ploy by dedicating themselves to a world-building scheme so intricate that it would rival Tolkien, and writing letters purporting to be from the ‘rose fairies’ and leaving them behind the bookcase

and loads of the notes were basically just fairy-speak for ‘tidy your damn room’

(Text says: Dear Anwen, thank you for your lovely note. We couldn’t write back earlier because Bimbo has been in your room all day and we’re scared of him. We are rose fairies so we love living in such a beautiful pink bedroom - even if it is a little untidy sometimes! Love the fairies xx)

(Text says: Dear Anwen, thank you for the beautiful gold tinsel. We have used it to decorate our dresses. You will be able to see them when we all go to the Daisy Fairies tomorrow night. We will come and pick you up at midnight. Lots of love, the Rose Fairies. PS your room is very untidy at the moment. We will have trouble coming to get you if you don’t tidy it!)

And sometimes they basically said ‘eat your damn greens’, or ‘why did you like lasagna last week and now would rather eat soil?’:

(Text says: Dear Anwen, I love sweet things too. I also like cucumber and lettuce do you? Be good and write soon. Love Isaria)

(Text says: ‘Dear Anwen, I do like spag bog. I also like lasagna and chicken pie do you? I always try to eat my dinner all up. Love Tiffy)

And they constructed this entire world in which there were hundreds of different kinds of fairies, all named after flowers, including the Daisy fairies and the Foxglove fairies, and presumably the Japanese Knotweed fairies. The Rose fairies would come at midnight, when I was asleep, and whisk me away to Fairyland with all of my favourite toys, who would come to life, like some kind of diet Toy Story. Fairyland was ruled by a queen named Aromia, who honestly should lend her name to a brand of air freshener, and all the fairies behind my bookshelf had names, including my ‘personal fairy’, who was a bit like a fairy godmother except totally useless.

Some examples of my parents’ incredible world building dedication:

(Text says: Dear Anwen, we’ve left you the key to the Fairyland palace. Keep it very safe and don’t lose it! Use it when you come to see us next time in Fairyland. You left us two little baby fairies. Be a good girl and tidy your room! Lots of love, the Rose Fairies)

(Text says: Dear Anwen, what nice new furniture you’ve got now. Your bedroom looks very smart. You are a very lucky girl to have such a beautiful room. Our names are: Isaria, your fairy; Maura, Tallia, Aria, Staria, Dixie, Millie, Razia, Maris, Jay, Essa, Meera, Tima, Pico, Saron, Vetie, Tiffy, Miron, Lattie, Lutim. See you soon, love the Rose Fairies)

(Text says: Dear Anwen, we’re about 6-7 of your years old. Fairy years are different. We’re about 160-170 fairy years old. Love the Rose fairies)

But also, they would give me advice on problems that I was having at school, being an 8 year old with such terrible issues as ‘I have two best friends’:

(Text says: Dear Anwen, why can’t you have two best friends? It’s not fair to expect you to choose between them. Perhaps if you tell them that they’ll understand. You should tell them that they’re both your best friends. Love the Rose Fairies)

And this went on until I realised that it was MY MUM’S HANDWRITING, which coincidentally was also the same as Father Christmas’ handwriting and the Tooth Fairy’s handwriting, but that was honestly a step too far for my 8 year old mind, because I couldn’t lose that damn much. Not the Tooth Fairy too. God, the Rose fairies were enough of a sacrifice. I couldn’t bleed myself dry.

My room was never tidier than it was that year and I have never been more embarrassed than when I found all these letters last month and realised what a fucking gullible nerd I was when I was 8. Aromia would be so disappointed.

anonymous asked:

Hiya! Can I request RFA/Saeran+MC going grocery shopping together? Could you also include which aisle they would spend the longest time in? I hope that's not too much >.< Have a lovely day~

Here ya go! Grocery shopping is nice because there’s a lot of food and I’m quite fond of that stuff.

-Sevensity


Yoosung:

  • Ok but this boy knows what’s up
  • He’s been to the grocery store so many times, he can probably finish all his shopping with his eyes closed (or at least one of them closed if you know what I mean hahahhaha sorry)
  • He’s like those moms who are into super couponing probably because his own mom was too
  • He has a whole binder full of coupons waiting to be used, and he’s categorized them all according to types and %off.
  • Even if you’ve been grocery shopping before, going with Yoosung is a whole other deal
  • Jeez is it intense
  • Though who knew browsing the vegetable aisle with this boy by your side would prove to be such an enlightening experience?
  • Unless you tell him you already know most of the stuff he’s saying, Yoosung will not hesitate to stop in front of every single thing and tell you about its various uses in cooking, or just life in general
  • And by every single thing I mean every single damn thing, even if it’s considered elementary knowledge
  • “This is a banana—“
  • “I know Yoosung,I know.”
  • He’ll also teach you really simple recipes while you load up your cart with food
  • “If you have trouble sleeping, heat up some milk and sprinkle some powdered nutmeg into it!” actually very comforting imo
  • “For really brown bananas, if you don’t want to eat them or can’t use them at the moment, put them in the freezer and you can make yummy banana bread with them later!”
  • “If you ever slice apples and want to prevent them from turning brown, just dip them in a bit of lemon juice!”
  • Thank you Yoosung Sensei
  • Every time you go grocery shopping together, you know you’ll return home feeling like you just took an intensive nutrition class

Spends longest time in:

Literally everywhere????

The only aisle he doesn’t really visit is the liquor aisle, but other than that he’ll spend the same amount of time in each place. Occasionally he will steer clear of the milk section after remembering some, ah, unpleasant memories

Zen:

  • Okay so he’s not quite a dolt when it comes to grocery shopping that’s for sure, like he knows about the basics, and of course he’s a beer expert
  • Though he is nowhere close to being on Yoosung’s Godly Grocery level
  • and Zen will never admit that he doesn’t know jack shit about what he buys most of the time
  • He’ll try to seem knowledgeable just for you, and he does want you to eat healthy (”Fruits and vegetable ares good for the skin! Though my skin is already amazing enough.” thank you zen that makes me feel so much better about myself)
  • But he’s not sure what to do with 90% of the stuff he puts in your cart
  • When you guys go home, he’ll sneak a phone call to Yoosung, list all the items that he bought, and Yoosung in turn will teach him a few possible recipes
  • Tbh usually such a phone call would sound like some shady drug dealing cuz it starts all like:
  • “Hey, Yoosung,” Zen casts a wary eye around before whispering, “I’ve got new goods.  Can you hook me up with some plans?”
  • But it’s okay, you’ll relax once you hear them talking about the properties of lettuce
  • “Zen, let me get this straight. You bought a whole octopus…without actually knowing how to cook it?!”
  • “Uh, yeah.”
  • “WHY?!”
  • “Well, I can’t be her knight in shining armor if I don’t know how to deal with a mere octopus!”
  • When Seven hears about this, he’s all like “move aside fabled evil dragon, the princess in the tower is now guarded by a wriggling, squishy octopus. How will Zen slay the mighty beast?”

Spends longest time in:

Cosmetics aisle! And I mean spends a loooooooooooooOOOng time. He wants you to try stuff on. Then he wants you to give him a makeover. Then he wants to take pictures. Then he finds new products to try. The infernal cycle begins again. 


Jaehee:

  • She never really had any  time to go grocery shopping before, and so she would just buy her meals from the convenience store
  • So the first time you went shopping together, oh boy was this girl lost
  • Although she knows all the fruits and vegetables and different types of meat, so the basics,  she just doesn’t know what to buy because there are so many choices??
  • She just wants to buy everything and try it all 
  • And so she does
  • You’re zooming around all the aisles, and soon each of you have your own cart chock full of food
  • In the end, two end up buying too much and invite Yoosung over to help y’all cook 
  • “Okay, I get that you wanted to buy a lot to get variety, but that does not explain why you had to buy 10 packs of meat and a total of 5 types of squash,” says Yoosung, mildly exasperated. 

Spends the longest time in:

The bakery section! She likes to look at their desserts to get inspiration, and will sometimes by those that catch her fancy. Although she also does spend a lot of time in the coffee section, however, there usually isn’t a lot of variety so she tends to be a bit disappointed. 


Jumin:

  • h a H
  • Jumin Han grocery shopping?
  • “Why go to the grocery store when the grocery store could come to you?”
  • babe PLS
  • “If you really want to make food yourself, why don’t you just order the ingredients online?”
  • Because grocery shopping is fun? sometimes
  • If you’re so insistent about going to the store, he’s 100% down to open one someplace in the building just for you.
  • Once you turn down all his extravagant ideas and manage to drag his fine ass to the store, Jumin is frowning.
  • Just like Yoosung, he’ll stop in front of every product there is. But this time, he’ll talk about them from a business perspective.
  • “If a watermelon costs this much for one pound, then for it to be of a profitable price, the amount of edible watermelon must be equal to—”
  • “Jumin we’ve been standing here for ten minutes.”
  • He’ll still occasionally stop to calculate the price per consumable unit though
  • Mutters to himself the whole time
  • But he proves to be immensely useful 
  • You’re comparing two types of dumplings, different companies, slightly different prices
  • “Jumin, which one comes out to be the best buy?”
  • Hoooooooh he’ll go all out 
  • He compares approximate size of dumplings, nutritional values, price per unit, reputability of manufacturer, you name it
  • So when you go grocery shopping, always bring yourself a Jumin Han to buy the best products in the store
  • Also because this rich boy is really cute when he wanders around, a little crease between his eyebrows, whispering equations to himself under his breath as he trails behind you like a little kid

Spends longest time in:

Pet food aisle, duhh. Would never dare feed Elly ‘commoner cat food’, though he’ll consider it if you make some brand suggestions. On a side note I feel like Jumin has tried Elly’s food before, especially if it’s something she seems to really like. “Maybe I can replicate this taste but make it something safe for humans to eat?”


Saeyoung:

  • asifdj;aslkdfjaslk;gja;lkdgj
  • cOme ON iT’S SAYOUNG WE ALREADY KNOW IT’LL BE A MESS
  • First of all, you guys are never both walking.  Either you’re in the cart and he pushes, or the other way around.
  • Here’s the thing though, he’s not so much in the cart as under it
  • I saw a picture of this but I can’t find it… you know how there’s usually a rack beneath the cart? Yeah, he just lies down on that.
  • If you leave him under the cart and wander too far away, he will yell “MArcO!” until you answer “polo” in an equally loud manner
  • This has gotten you kicked out more than a couple of times
  • “What do you mean soda and chips aren’t enough to sustain the human body?”
  • “What’s a vegetable?”
  • It’s like, he knows of the stuff, but he’s never seen any in person
  • “Wow…that’s…is that really an orange? In flesh????”
  • “This is edible?” he says, holding a pack of shrimp in his hands
  • While in the frozen food section: “I wonder what would happen if we blended a pizza, and then used that pizza to make pizza sauce for another pizza? Like…pizzaception.
  • you guys actually tried doing that but regretted it because that shit was disgusting
  • Food puns
  • He will try to be more serious if you tell him, but why would you? 
  • Saeyoung makes grocery shopping seem like an adventure

Spends longest time in:

I mean when he’s under the cart he doesn’t really have a choice so he’ll chill there and contemplate whether or not he should lick the floor while you get the food.  However, if he’s the one pushing you, you bet he’ll head straight to the snack section. That’s his turf. Will glower at those who dare approach his precious chips. “So um Saeyoung are we just gonna wait around here and chase people away all day or…?” 


Saeran:

  • He’s the type of kid that has absolutely no idea about anything
  • He’ll point at a cabbage and call it a cucumber
  • He says carrots grow on trees
  • You get a lot of stares because he calls everything by the wrong name with so much confidence
  • The baby is super proud of himself and you don’t have the heart to tell him he’s wrong
  • That changes when Yoosung goes shopping with him once though.  Yoosung almost cried when Saeran asked him what this weird, round white thing was called (answer: an oinion. HAH SAERAN IS LIKE AN ONION, HE HAS LAYERS HAHAHAHAHHA I’M SO FUNNY)
  • Yoosung lowkey kidnaps Saeran and they have a study session together where Saeran learns about the marvelous world of fresh produce
  • But once you go back to the store together after he studied hard, it’s so precious
  • Saeran correctly identifies most of the stuff, but after every time he names something, he’ll glance at you, as if waiting for your approval
  • once you give him a tiny nod, a smile playing around your lips, his eyes will just light the fuck up and ;sdfja;lskdfjaslkdfja the baby bean is gonna blush a lil’ because w oW he did it???
  • Saeran reverts back to a toddler when y’all go to the store, you better hold his hand or he’ll wander off and get lost in another dimension

Spends longest time in:

ya, the ice cream section. you can get ice cream on a stick?? w h at???? a pre made ice cream cone???? w HA t??? I CAN BUY TWO LITERS BUCKETS OF ICE CREAM??? W  H AT?!??!??!?! It’s a Saeran heaven and half the bill goes to his own, full cart of ice cream.