why is it that i a straight man

I just saw the (infamous) Supergirl “they’re only friends” video. After watching it, I totally get it. I get why people are pissed.

I couldn’t help but think about the fact that that would never happen with a straight ship. Ya know what I mean? It’s no big deal for people to ship Kara and James (even though they’re only friends) or Kara and Winn (even though they’re only friends) but god forbid you ship two woman it’s “THEY’RE ONLY FRIENDS”. It’s not fair.

anonymous asked:

Wait, what happened at the Supergirl panel??

not at the panel, they were giving an interview where the cast was recapping s2 in a song format and then jeremy jordan started basically man screaming at the screen how lena and kara are friends and friends only and that theyre not gonna get together and all that shit and melissa screaming only friends and the rest of the cast laughing and basically pushed supercorp shippers under the bus and ridiculed wlw as if wanting two women who clearly have chemistry together is an absurd idea and it was just messy af esp when his apology was basically a non apology which i dont understand why is it so hard for straight guys to own up and say they fucked up and apologise but always have to explain themselves like bitch grow the fuck up. anyways its ugly af and im pretty sure the supergirl pr was in flames last night

anonymous asked:

"I just don't like straight ships" and they say heterophobia is fake 😂👌

whadda fuck….. there’s no such thing as heterophobia, first off… second off?? i don’t?? hate straight people??? i love tumblrs accusatory nature tbh, it’s so funny. man bro pal, homophobia is how straights hate, murder, and keep gay people from being themselves, who has ever done that to straights lmao… now all of a sudden i’m a straight hating machine cuz i don’t like any pairings that are straight ?? yo tf.
brooo i’m sorry i don’t want to enjoy things i can feel represented in a fuckin.. anime…?? this is why i can’t take y'all serious!! u throw around nonsense words LOL

my dad told me this story about how when he was renting our old house out a black man became really upset because he my dad didn’t respond to his housing application and he ended up emailing my dad that his behavior was discriminatory. i was just like well why didn’t you? was he a shady character or something? and my dad was like no he was well-educated. i just thought it was risky to rent out the house to a black man. and i’m like ok well that’s actually really racist. you should have at least replied. and my dad was like no i have black friends and i used to live in nigeria. i’m like boy 99% of the indians that live in africa are racist. don’t throw that at me.

I really hate how, in conversations about bi women and their partners in LGBT+ spaces, male partners are always assumed to be straight and cis

like, bi/pan/queer men exist. trans men exist. and it’s not some impossibility that they date bpq women, especially if they meet each other in LGBT+ spaces. I have literally never had a straight cis man as a partner and I don’t intend to for personal reasons, and I don’t think I’m the only bi woman for whom the prospect of dating a cis straight man seems at best exhausting and at worst disgusting.

this is yet another reason why “het partnered” isn’t a good descriptor btw. there are m/f relationships where literally no partners are het.

Steve Trevor is definitely trans hear me out

- I’m going through this scene by scene y’all get ready

- Kay so, when diana rescues him he’s immediately anxious when she asks him “You’re a man…?” I could almost taste the “oh god am I suddenly not passing??” fear in his eyes

- He doesn’t say something like “of course I am” or “yes haven’t you ever seen a man??” instead he goes straight for “Yeah, uhm…don’t I look like one?” this is not something a cis man worries about

- Side note: if y’all come at me with “oh he says steve is his name when they use the lasso of truth on him so he must be cis” l i s ten his name is steve. Why would he answer that question any other way? Also, I’d like to note, in the comics when Batman was asked the same question while holding the lasso of truth, he answered with Batman, not Bruce Wayne. The lasso makes you answer what YOU believe is the truth. Steve’s deadname isn’t his “true name” steve trevor is obv

- Consider: we know there were LOTS of women who cross-dressed in wwI in order to fight. What if that’s what steve did to join the military when he was much younger, but then he realized oh…maybe there’s more here going on than I thought

- HRT became available after WWII largely due to this guy, and in this superhero universe of Scientific Inaccuracies and Magical Goddesses Made From Clay, it’s not entirely implausible that HRT couldn’t have become available a few decades earlier in some capacity (alan hart is amazing, please read more about him)

- Okay, the bathroom scene: Steve panics at first when diana walks in on him, because he’s like SHIT CANT REVEAL MY WEIRD JUNK but when its clear shes not going to be weird about it, he stops trying to hide

- diana specifically says “are you considered average for your sex” not gender. And we know from later during the scene on the boat that she must know the difference, because she read the 12 volume collection on genitals and what you can do with them

- So diana’s like “well that’s not what I was expecting at all” and what she says is basically the more subtle, educated way of saying: dude why don’t you have a penis and balls

- And when steve answers above average, he’s basically saying “yeah, im trans, go me, deal with it”

- Just saying, him being trans makes this entire interaction and every one after that where steve is trying to explain western gender norms to diana significantly more hilarious

- Moving on: the boat. Diana asks about marriage and Steve answers two people go in front of a judge etc etc. then when she asks why they get married, even if they’re unhappy, steve says he doesn’t know. Marriage is as mystifying to him as it is to her. If that isn’t queer then idk what queer is

- The “this confuses me just as much as it does you” look on his face throughout this entire interaction

- His interest in her books about sex: as a trans man in an age when sex for the pleasure of vagina owners was basically unheard of/considered sinful, of course he’s interested

- The soft “no” when she says the books ultimately say men are unnecessary for pleasure; no as in utter disbelief, more like “no way can I read this??” than “no omg sex needs a penis and a vagina what are you talking about”

- Lastly: it makes SO much sense for steve to become a spy. Trans people are excellent liars. They have to be in order to survive. Steve obv would have made it through his entire military service without letting on that he was trans, so he knows he’s totally capable of lying his way into german high command

- This has so much fanfic potential, I am dying

- Go forth and write all the fanfic about diana teaching steve the secrets of her 12 volumes about sex

Context: I’m a new DM playing with a small group of veteran D&Ders (consisting of a high-elf Ranger, a Dragonborn warrior and literal cat? cleric), and they suggested that we do a small series of one-offs to get me used to being a DM. We’re in our third one, which is based off the C'thulhu mythos, and they’re about to face off with Nyarlathotep when this happens.

Me: Okay, you find your way to Nyarlathotep’s chapel and as you enter, you hear his voice in your head saying, “Ah, my sacrifices have arrived.”

Ranger: What does he look like?

Me: Knowledge check that.

Ranger: *rolls an 18*

Me: You remember he is described as a tall, swarthy, sinister man, looking as if he had just walked out of Egypt. Dark skin, dark eyes, well built; he looks like a Pharaoh that walked straight out of the past.

Warrior: I roll to seduce!

Me: Excuse me?

Warrior: I roll to seduce the handsome Egyptian-Eldritch god.

Me: … I don’t even know why I’m allowing this but okay.

Warrior: *rolls a nat20*

I’m just staring in disbelief at this point, and everyone else is laughing.

Me: Okay, fine. Nyarlethotep pauses and considers, then grabs you and stuffs a tentacle down your throat and into your stomach, placing something, probably an egg of some sort, there before tossing you back down. Congratulations, you are now pregnant with the Dunwich horror. In about a month, it’ll eat through your stomach and probably you before bringing chaos upon the world.

Now its his turn to stare, and I’m just like, “What?”

Cleric(OOC): Wait, what? His character’s a dude!

Me: The forces of chaos care nothing about your insignificant human gender binary.

The parallel to end all parallels

Okay guys, listen up, because I’m about to fuck you up with some knowledge.

So we all know under Dabb’s reign, we’ve seen a multitude of parallels. Season 12 has been chock-full of callbacks from earlier seasons: characters, scenes, props, etc. We saw it with the colt, with Mary’s return, Bobby’s return, “[insert parent name here] went on a hunting trip, and [they] haven’t been home in a few days”. We’ve had Dean and Cas paralleled with Sam and Eileen, Dean and Cas paralleled with Cain and Colette, Dean referred to as Cas’s “human weakness” by Ishim…I mean really, at this point they’re endless. I could make hundreds of posts about the parallels, particularly in regard to Dean and Cas, but I won’t because frankly, there are better meta writers than me on the tumblrverse and they’ve already been done to death.

see @tinkdw and @ibelieveinthelittletreetopper, seriously those guys’ blogs have some seriously incredible information, metas, and I thoroughly enjoy reading literally everything they have to say.

What I want to talk about is Cas’s last scene in the finale. Here we see Cas enter the alternate universe, despite Sam and Dean already being there and having a plan for locking in Lucifer, and stabbing Lucifer, right before Cas’s death scene.

Originally posted by bridget-malfoy-stilinski-hale

So I’ve seen a lot of people complaining about this scene and how Cas’s death was completely unnecessary and avoidable. That it was used strictly for the “man pain” we hear so much about, so we can watch the boys once again mourn the death of one of their friends. I agree, to an extent. His death absolutely was avoidable, also necessary because Destiel story arc, but here I believe Dabb knew what he was doing. Remember those parallels we talked about ^^?

So why? If Cas is coming back, like we now definitively know, why take the time and effort to include this scene? Because really, it was pointless. Lucifer could’ve killed Cas straight out of the portal without Cas ever entering, and it would’ve served the same purpose, and raised no questions. Because hey, shit happens, and Cas is almost always on the negatively receiving end of it. So why, Dabb? Why shoot this particular scene that seemingly makes no sense and had everyone questioning Cas’s intentions?

Come. Take my hand. Let me show you.

Dabb literally, intentionally, oh-so-deliberately, shot this scene:

To act as a parallel for this scene:

I REPEAT:

DABB DELIBERATELY SHOT THIS SCENE FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF DRAWING A PARALLEL BETWEEN SAM AND JESS AND CAS AND DEAN.

IT IS THE EXACT SAME SCENE. THE SAME STRUGGLE. ALMOST IDENTICAL DIALOGUE. THE SAME FUCKING FRAMING, FFS!

and before you say, no wait, your hopefulness, Jess doesn’t come back, this makes for a sad ending, stop, no, what are you doing??

YOU ARE MISSING THE BLATANTLY GAY POINT

Dabb recreated the first scene of the show with Dean and Cas. He intentionally paralleled Sam’s canonical relationship with his girlfriend to Dean’s canonical subtextual relationship with Cas.

Further, the scene with Sam and Jess marked the beginning of the series, the beginning of Sam rejoining his brother in the family business, but also the unfortunate end of his relationship with the woman he loved. If you look at this reversed (much in the same way Cain said to Dean about how he was living his life in reverse), that would mean that this could possibly be hinting at the end of the show, but also the beginning of Dean’s relationship with the man angel he loves.

I mean, I’m not saying that Destiel is endgame…but fuck. Destiel is endgame.

Originally posted by imthehuman

Hot Off The Press

Another AU where Jacky-Boy is a hockey player and Bitty has a job that involves hockey bc that’s my aesthetic. Anyway, I really know nothing about how the world of sports journalism works so there is probably some inaccuracies in here, but it’s an AU so who cares. Artistic license and all that. Very slightly NSFW (i just wanted to get all the warnings out there). 

***

“Are you into men?”

Jack has been asked this question before, but in such a subtle way (and typically involving Parson) that it’s easy to avoid. No reporter has ever straight out asked him. Besides, he’s not gay. He’s bisexual. So when Jack usually tells them, “No.” it’s not a lie. However, this time it feels different. Maybe it wasn’t just this particular time, but all the times added onto each other that’s finally causing him to really think about what hole he’s digging himself into.

The blunt question has him feeling panicky and the other presser notice his reaction too. Jack can’t say no, because that’s not true. He is into men. Jack’s panic quickly shifts, and now he just feels like shoving the microphones away and storming out, because this is hockey goddammit. Not E! news.

“Excuse me?” Jack clears his throat, trying to buy himself some time to think of a properly crafted response. Over the years, he’s developed a talent for that.

But everything is on overdrive and he feels his breath start to quicken again–

“Are you into men?” Another reporter asks, and it takes Jack a moment to realize that the reporter isn’t asking him. He’s asking the man who popped the question in the first place.

 All attention, including Jack’s, turns to the small blonde that got lost in the bundle of people. He holds up his mic towards the reporter who popped the question in the first place. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

honestly, my favourite tony trope is him surviving so much bullshit that everyone starts to believe that he's actually immortal. Villains start just giving up on actually killing him, and either incapacitate him or make sure he's unavailable when they start the fight. Some of the more egotistical ones go out of their way to try. There's many conspiracy theories about him, and how it's possible that he's survived. One of his favourite pastimes is reading the more outlandish ones. (Tree)

Listen. It’s common knowledge among the villains of the world. If you’re anywhere close to being a professional Badguy, then you’ve heard the stories. You know the rumours.


Tony Stark Does Not Die. So for God’s sake, do not be stupid enough to try.


Some of the newbies, they ask. They wonder why no-one tries to shoot a fatal hit, why they never even bother to go for Iron Man. 

The older, more weary villains just roll their eyes and mutter “don’t wanna waste my firepower. Save your shots for the ones that will actually stay dead, kid,”

“That asshole crawled out of a cave with a hole in his chest and still managed to kick everyone’s ass,” someone pipes up moodily from the corner.

There’s a sudden bang as a hand slaps on the counter, and the newbie turns to see another grim-looking villain.“I once shot straight through him. Laser right through the stomach. You know what that piece of shit did?” The guy gestures to his lack of foot. “He Goddamn turned around and shot my leg off! and then he just sort of looked down and shrugged at his own fatal wound. He told me I had it worse, and that he was ‘sorry’. Who even does that?”

“I crushed him,” says another, “he just buried out the other way and then caught me a day later. It took me years to get out of prison.”

“I planted a virus in his suit while he was thousands of miles above sea, and not only did he defend it, but he traced my source and sent it back. Thousands and thousands of dollar’s worth of tech, gone,” someone shouts miserably from across the room. “He didn’t even have a fucking keyboard! Every line of code was verbal! He spoke and memorised those lines faster than I could type them, and I goddamn invented the thing!”

A bottle of… something, flies across the room. Obviously everyone is very bitter about this.

The newbie, because they’re always like this at the start; over-confident and stiflingly cocky, puffs their chest and looks them all in the eye. “you just haven’t been thinking about it hard enough. I’ll kill him. Just watch.”


Everyone descends into hysterical laughter. Someone is crying. No one in the room is Okay. 


“Whatever you say, whatever you think or plan, he’s one step ahead. Don’t, for your sake, please. Take Thor. Or Cap. Or maybe the Widow, if you’re feeling brave? But just… don’t waste your time with him. Try and keep him away, instead. That’s all we can ask for,” says someone next to her, obviously taking pity.

“He might be smart, but he’ll have no idea what’s coming when I step on the scene!” Newbie growls. “Listen-”




A few miles across, Tony Stark listens to the whole conversation via a bug he planted in the known Villain Hiding-Spot, and smiles smugly.

“Damn straight,” he mutters, before calling in the rest of the Avengers to gloat.

why the Live Boston Stunt Spectacular is the best episode of TAZ

-Jerald the Catwalk Boy
-“you have a beautiful body. but you do not have the soul of a champion-” / “I punch him in the face.” / “…Interesting.”
-“and that’s Griffin McElroy!” / “hi I play the part of Douglas. he’s a gnome thief.”
-Taako pretending to be straight is #relatable
-“you… you just want to be Stripe Man.”
-Angus using the Mage Hand that Taako taught him to save the day and Taako proudly shouting “that’s my boy! my beautiful magic boy!”
-Magnus clapping when Jeff Angel, his opponent, comes into the ring
-“I’m about to do something really out of character. I’m gonna do like a cleric thing.”
-Taako bursting into giggles when he is called a “powerful, master wizard”
-“this started out as kind of Andre the Giant-esque and then took a pivot towards fuckin’ DROOPY.” / “it’s like Droopy and Andre the Giant had a sad baby.”
-“I’m whispering mean things in his ear like ‘uh… you’re a poop” and 'nobody likes you rawr!’“
-"these guys seem like the kind of people who don’t call their dads!” / “and uhh that’s the end of his speech.”
-“I cast Zone of Truth!” / “I NEVER CALL MY DAD!”

Wonder Woman spoilers. Hit J to skip. 

Got into a discussion about the implication that Diana finding love with a man was what saved the day and I thought I should go ahead and bring it over here. 

I can see the argument being made here. Diana has been around women all her life. That suddenly a man, and more specifically sex with a man, changes her and makes her a hero. That hetero-sex is what saves the day. 

I have a couple objections to this theory, but let me start by saying I can see why you would feel that way, particularly for those of you who are lesbians. I don’t, and I recognize it’s largely because of who I am and my own views.

What I won’t agree with is the implication that Amazons are all straight. It’s just not true. When Antiope was killed, three women came to her side- her sister, Diana, and a third grief-sticken and screaming who got the camera’s attention for an extended shot even though nobody knew who she was. That was her wife. Fight me. 

Additionally, when Steve and Diana are having their boat sex talk, she says she knows of sex. She knows the pleasures of the flesh. Men are unnecessary for pleasure. She’s either talking about lady love or masturbation (both of which are still pretty taboo to talk about as women today let alone in 1918). I choose to believe it’s the former. She’s had at least one Amazon lover in the comics- Mala in Earth One. 

On to my objections:

Diana’s not a lesbian. She’s bisexual. Bisexuals are allowed to love men. We’re allowed to like men. Steve Trevor, whether romantic or platonic, is a big part of Wonder Woman’s story. He is the Lois to Diana’s Superman. For those of you who say Steve was too much or Steve was intolerable or the het love story ruined it, I ask you to accept that you might have some biases based in your preference for a queer Diana who doesn’t like men. Again, I understand why you feel that way, especially for those of you who are lesbians. But to constantly hear ‘het love’ and ‘het sex’ is annoying at best and erasure at worst. Diana is bisexual. She is queer. Of course I’d like it to be more explicit in the movies, whether through her expressing attraction to women or outright saying it, but the point still stands. This is the most powerful canonically queer character in media. 

Nothing she does is heterosexual. 

Another point is about the love saves the day. It wasn’t just Steve’s love. It wasn’t just Diana’s love for Steve. (And yes, I can see why it might seem rushed, especially for those who aren’t aware of the “Diana’s Lois” history of the ship, but how often do we see the woman falling head over heels for the hero of other movies and why can’t we allow the script to be flipped here? Steve Trevor is very much a counter to most macho action movie stars full of toxic masculinity which is a whole post on its own.)

Love saved the day, but it wasn’t just romantic love. It certainly wasn’t just sexual love. It was also platonic love between the men themselves. When she sees the men embracing each other in the face of certain death, what does she see?

She sees three men who could have gone home when the money ran out. Three men who continued into a suicide mission, following Steve because they loved him too. When Steve gave them the option to go home, they say “she can handle herself, but what would you do without us?” They follow him because they love him. They’d deny it, of course, but it’s there. That brotherhood. She sees that. She recognizes it from the way the Amazons loved those they fought with. That’s how she recognizes that there is good in men. That’s why she believes they can choose good. They aren’t fighting for the anger and the bloodshed. They are fighting because they love. 

Just like she does. 

One foot in the grave

From the age of two Lance never stopped moving.
He would crawl through his house making it impossible to keep track of him.
However it was nothing compared to what he was like when he learned how to walk.
Soon as he could stand on his own two feet he was gone.
He would run through the garden chasing birds.
He would run to his classes in school.
He would run to the store.
He would run across the road.
Without looking both ways.
He would run straight into the path of a truck.
While he was lying in the hospital bed with his legs shattered all the doctors would tell him was how lucky he was to be alive.
For a while Lance thought that his luck would also save his legs.
But it wasn’t to be.
The doctors did all they could, using pins to try and fuse the bones back together.
However after only two days infection had set in and they had no choice but to amputate the first leg.
The second came a week later after it became clear that the bone just wasn’t fusing back together.
For months Lance was trapped in a chair, healing and waiting.
He never cried though. If he cried then his mama would cry.
Lance wouldn’t have his mama crying because of him.
When he finally got prosthetics it wasn’t what he had been hoping for.
It was a long painful process full of disappointment and failure before he could walk again.
And an even longer time before he could run again.
However Lance was determined and never gave up.
By time he moved to a new high school no one could tell he was missing both legs.

Lance was walking home from class grumbling to himself. He was pretty annoyed that his best friend Hunk had decided that he would prefer to hang out with Pidge then him.
Well not decided more like had to do he wouldn’t fail the project they were working on.
But Lance felt like being petty.
It had been raining that day, the humidity made his stumps painful which made him irritated.
To make things worse he had no choice but to walk home in the rain since his car had gone and died on him that morning.
Lance was so busy wallowing in self pity that he didn’t even notice he was about to walk into someone.
He managed to walk straight into a figure huddled inside their jacket causing the two of them to fall to the ground with a thud.
“What the hell man!” Lance yelled before stopping when he realised who he had just walked into.
Keith glared at him the rain plastering his dark hair to his face “not my fault! You walked into me!”
“Yeah well your still a jerk! You park in the handicapped space yesterday at the mall!” Lance yelled pointing at him accusingly.
“Why the hell do you care where I park! It was like 4am and it wasn’t like anyone needed it!” Keith snapped getting to his feet and trying to brush some of the water away.
“You didn’t kno-” Lance had tried to stand but when he was halfway up a cracking sound echoed around the empty campus and he went flying forwards right into Keith who caught him out of pure instinct.
Keith’s anger quickly turned to concern and nausea at the sight of the unnatural angle the lower half of Lance’s leg was now bent.
“Oh my god! Shit I’ll call an ambulance!” Keith stuttered as he carefully lowered Lance to the floor and looked for his phone only to find it cracked and unresponsive.
“D-don’t worry I’ll erm I’ll… why are you laughing?”
Lance was laughing hard as he watched Keith’s panicked actions.
“Relax dude I’m fine. See” he grabbed his foot and pulled making Keith have to fight the urge to throw up as it came away in his hand.
“See just plastic.”
Keith’s eyes widened at the sight of the prosthetic. He had no idea that Lance, the over confident narcissistic pretty boy was a amputee.
Suddenly him getting upset about Keith taking the handicapped spot makes much more sense.
“Shit… I’m sorry.”
Lance shrugged, “nah you were right it wasn’t your fault. But erm if your still riding the guilt train I could use a ride? I mean if you don’t mind.” He looked away blushing and Keith couldn’t help but smile.
“Yeah sure.”
He didn’t wait for permission, instead he simply scooped Lance up princess style and walked him to his car, a small beat up red thing that could almost pass for home made with all the repairs done to it.
“H-hey I don’t need carrying!” Lance’s blush deepened as he wrapped his arms around Keith’s neck for stability only. Or at least that’s what he told himself.
“It’s quicker then you just hopping along.” Keith shrugged as he deposited Lance in the passenger seat and took his place behind the wheel.
“Still dude. It’s humiliating. Bad enough you know about my legs.”
Keith rose and eyebrow as he pulled out of the parking lot. “I only knew about one of them.”
“Fuck…” Lance hissed under his breath.
Keith couldn’t help but chuckle quietly at that.
“Man I really am an idiot, can you keep this between us… it’s just I’d prefer everyone not to know.”
Lance sounded so small and vulnerable in that moment that Keith glanced over to check that it really was the same obnoxious guy he knew from school.
“Look I promise I won’t tell anyone… but maybe you should.”
“What would you know about this?” Lance huffed crossing his arms.
“More then you would expect, my brother Shiro lost his arm and he was suffering in silence for a long time. I just don’t want you to do the same.”
Keith glanced over at Lance to see him looking very embarrassed.
Keith’s eyes widened “b-by that I mean anyone in your situation not j-just you specifically!” He rambled on quickly.
Lance laughed that strong joy filled laugh of his That always seems to light up the room. “It’s cool man. I knew what you meant.”
They pulled up outside Lance’s home and Keith offered his shoulder for support this time rarther then carrying him in.
After ringing the bell and waiting on the door step Lance looked up at Keith. “Hey Keith.”
“Yeah Lance?”
“Thanks.”
Lance kissed him on the cheek just as the door opened and Lance launched himself on his older brother closing the door behind him.
Leaving a very confused, very wet but also very very VERY happy Keith standing outside.

reasons why haggar is a lesbian

made by me, a certified lesbian

• she’s the most powerful villain/person in the show
     • like seriously no one has anything on her
     • and lesbians/gay people are always more powerful than straight people

• no one fucking…listens to her
     • which is relatable so i mean…

• the only time she smiles around a man is when she’s torturing him
     • do i even need to explain this

• she’s magical and magic is gay
     • proof: have you ever read a fantasy book because holy shit even if the obviously        gay characters end up being straight (looking at you sarah j. maas) they’re still            pretty fuckign gay

• what straight girl dresses like this:

conclusion: haggar is a lesbian

Patch Up l Peter Parker

Summary: After an encounter with a bad guy, Peter needs a patch up. He goes to the one person who he knows can help him ;)

Warning: Some spoilers

Pairing: Peter Parker (Spiderman) x reader

Type: Sequel to Liz’s Party 

A/N: If you guys want to be tagged in these, please don’t hesitate to message me about it. I have already had a few people ask if they can be tagged so I will be adding their names at the end. ENJOY!

Part One Here / Part Three Here / Part Four Here / Part Five Here / Part Six Here


Originally posted by marvel-is-ruining-my-life

A large blast erupted from the horizon, Peter swinging in the neighborhood to check it out. He reached a field and extended his hand out, shooting a web. It didn’t go very far. So instead, he took off running through the golf course.

“This sucks!”

Once he reached the abandoned area, another blue blast was shot from a large gun. “Now this is crafted from a reclaimed sub-ultron arm straight from Sokovia,” the seller announcer. “Here. You try,” he handed the large gun to his buyer.

“Man, I wanted something low-key. Why are you trying to up sell me, man?”

“Okay. Okay. Okay. I got what you need,” the man turned and placed the gun back in his white van. Peter crawled behind a post, sticking his head out to listen to their conversation.

“Look, times are changing and we are the only ones selling these high tech weapons,” another dude said to the buyer.

“Wow,” Peter whispered. “This must be where the ATM robbers got their stuff.” Peter said, referring to the incident that happened a few days ago.

“I just need something to stick up somebody. I am not trying to shoot them back in time,” the buyer said. 

“I got grab climbers,” the man near the van said. This interested the buyer and he neared the van. Suddenly, Peter’s phone rang and he scurried to answer it. “Okay, what the hell was that?”

Peter looked at the screen, it was Y/N. The sellers drew their guns and pointed it towards the buyer. “You set us up?”

“Hey. Take it easy man,” the buyer said, holding his hands up. Peter hit decline on his phone and jumped down from his hiding place.

“Hey! Hey! Come on! If you are gonna shoot somebody, shoot me,” Peter said.

“Alright,” the seller said, turning to aim his gun at Peter. He webbed his gun and pulled it from his reached. He raced over to them and the man grabbed a weapon from the van, attaching it to his forearms. He spun around and punched Peter in the abdomen with it, sending him flying back into the concrete pillar. Peter fell to the ground and groaned.

The men laughed and gathered their things quickly before riding away in their van. “What was that,” Peter asked. He webbed the car door and it began to drag him along the road.

They took a sharp turn and Peter crashed into some trash bins. “We gotta call him,” one of the men insisted.

“Hang on. Hang on,” the other one said, grabbing a gun. He shot at Peter but he dodged the blast, his body flopping around on the pavement.

“Did you get him?”

“Shut up!”

“I’m calling him.”

“OW! MY BUTT,” Peter yelled as he held onto his web as tightly as he could. The driver purposely kept swerving the car in hopes to lose the Spiderman. He drove to the left and Peter crashed into a car. He drove to the right and Peter slammed into some more trash cans. He drove to the left and Peter broke through a brick pillar. Peter let go.

He quickly stood up and webbed the car door again but it just came off. The car drove away. He threw his hands up in defeat.

“Great!” He ran through the neighborhood, jumping over a fence and running to the owner’s backyard. “Hey, hey buddy,” he said as a dog jumped up onto him. “Sorry, I can’t play right now.” He threw the dog a ball and continued running. 

He was finally swinging through the trees but he misplaced his web onto a tree house and brought it crashing to the ground. He fell into a green house and crashed through a fence. He jumped through a bush and swung into a pool accidentally. 

He got tangled in party lights and landed in the neighbor’s yard, in front of a small camping tent. He groaned and sat up, looking at the two little girls who resided inside the tent.

“Oh. Hey guys.” The girls screamed and Peter scurried away. He ran onto the roof of a house. “Almost got them,” he could see the white van as he jumped onto another house. “Thought you could get away from me, could ya?”

He panted heavily and jumped onto another house, pushing his feet off of it and aiming for the van. Before he could land on the van, he was yanked into the air. He yelled in protest the higher and higher he got.

“What the hell?” He looked up into the monster’s glowing green eyes. Peter was suddenly thousands of feet in the air when he was pulled from the monster’s grip. He collapsed back into his deployed parachute and was tangled in it as he fell from the sky. Peter yelled as he plummeted from the sky. The last he remembered was landed in a lake, his body jointing like it was hit by a ton of bricks.


Y/N had gone home after the party and changed into her pajamas. She quickly pulled out her textbook before turning to a certain page and reading her assignment for the weekend. A loud thump came from her window and when she turned her head, she gasped and scurried out of her chair.

Y/N opened the window and pulled the limp body of Spiderman through it. He fell onto the floor and groaned in response. “Oh my god. What happened?”

“I-I…fell…bad guy…Iron Man…water,” he panted. 

“Okay. Okay. Okay,” she laced her arm under his and helped him to his feet. “Come and lay down.” He collapsed onto her bed and held his side in pain. “Stay here,” she ordered.

Y/N ran out of her room as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake up her parents. She grabbed the first aid kit and an ice pack before making her way back to her room.

“You’ll have to take off your suit,” she said, closing the door behind her. Peter touched the emblem of his shirt and it deflated off his body. Y/N helped him pull it off the top half of his body. She pushed him to sit up against the headboard of her bed. “Tell me where it hurts.”

“My abdomen,” he grunted. Y/N nodded and shakily moved her hand to touch his ribs. He winced in pain and she apologized immediately after retracting her hand. “I-It’s fine.”

She moved to examine him again, gently touching his skin and sending sparks all throughout the boy’s body. She glanced up into the Spiderman’s mechanical eyes but then turned her attention back to his stomach. 

Peter couldn’t help but gaze at her sleeping attire, a tank top and shorts. Her hair was wavy, falling gracefully over her shoulders. However, through all this staring, she could feel his gaze on her.

“Eyes up here, Spider-boy,” she said, not taking her eyes off his bruised stomach.

“Y-Yeah, yeah. Right. Okay,” he cleared his throat and turned his gaze back up to her face. She sighed in defeat and motioned to his abdomen.

“You’ve broken four ribs,” Y/N said in horror. He grunted and tried to sit up but Y/N gently pushed him back down. “Lie still.” She reached over and grabbed and ice pack off of her night stand. She gently pressed the ice against his bare abdomen, Spiderman wincing slightly at the coolness of it.

“Thank you,” he grunted out, adjusting to the cold. She smiled at him before silence overtook them.

“So you and Peter Parker really are good friends?” Y/N asked out of curiosity.

“Yeah, h-he uh, works over with Stark,” Y/N nodded her head and went back to wrapping a gauze around his abdomen. “He talks about you a lot,” Y/n smiled in response.

“I know. You told me.”

“He likes you. You know that right?” Y/N smiled in response. “I’m serious! I mean…he really likes you. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the boy was in love with you.” Y/N halted her actions. For Peter, this was easy to say because she didn’t know it was really him. Had he not had his mask on, he probably wouldn’t have been able to say those words.

“You think so?”

“I know so.” Y/N turned to hid her blush. “W-What about y-you? D-Do you love him back?”

Y/N looked up at him with a curious grin on her face. “What’s it to you?”

“I-I-I was just wondering,” Peter said, shaking his head.

“And why should I tell you? So you can go and blurt it out in front of Peter?”

“I wouldn’t tell him. Not if you don’t want me to,” Spiderman insisted.

“I’d rather not take any chances,” she said, pining the gauze in place. “I’ll keep quiet if that’s alright.” Spiderman shook his head.

“No, its fine. I get it.” Y/N cleared her throat and stood to her feet after she was done. “Well, thanks again.”

Peter stood to his feet and pulled his suit back over his body, Y/N taking one last glance at his well defined body. He pressed the emblem on his suit and it tightened to fit his body perfectly.

Y/N escorted Peter over to the window and opened it for him. The two stare at each other for what seemed like eternity. Peter gently pulled to end of his mask over his face, just past his nose and leaned in close to Y/N face.

“I owe you,” he whispered before placing a kiss on Y/N’s cheek. His lips lingered for just a few seconds before he pulled away. Y/N looked down, hiding the blush evident on her face. 

“Well, just be careful next time and don’t–”

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” Y/N threw his a small smile. “Thanks for the patch up.”

“You’re welcome, Spiderman.” He winked at her before climbing out of her window and swinging off into the distance. “Please be careful.”

TO BE CONTINUED…

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breaking the cycle: gotg2 and the theme of toxic masculinity

It’s taken me, oh, about a month to organize my thoughts on this and they’re still a mess, but I have all these snippets in my head about how GOTG2 deconstructs toxic masculinity, and hey! you’re gonna get them now

Toxic masculinity is basically the concept that socializing men and boys to be a certain ‘masculine’ way, and criticizing them or ridiculing them when they fail to live up to these (often impossible or even abusive) standards, is ultimately harmful to everyone, men and women alike. Ever wonder why you flinch at dudes yelling “man up!” to their crying young sons instead of comforting them? Yeah, that’s why.

Anyway, regarding GOTG: a lot of this stuff revolves around Yondu and the Yondu-Peter relationship, but also (I totally love this) a large portion of it also revolves around a white, straight, able-bodied man who is quite literally called ‘Ego’. spoilers follow, naturally-

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Some human bodily functions weird/creep Black Hat the fuck out. Sure he's a monster beyond human comprehension, but fuck humans are weird man.

  • “so let me get this straight. You pay a person to drill holes into your teeth once a year, so he can say you’re healthy?” “Boss, most employers offer dental insurance–” “I KNOW! I just don’t see why it’s necessary?? Your teeth would be stronger without holes, right?”
  • “You soak in dirt water every day?” “It’s called a bath, boss. It’s really relaxing, you should try–” “GROSS NO.”
  • “Wow this candy tastes disgusting.” “That’s Dementia’s lipstick.” “So?” “You don’t. You don’t eat it, sir….”
  • “You mean your body just, shuts down?? Every night??” “And eventually, we shut down forever!” “So sleep is just… practice death?” “I, I guess?”
  • “Why are you always flirting with me.” “Flirting??” “THAT! That whole eye-closey thing! Stop it!” “….that’s blinking, sir.”
  • “Okay, no, you said crying meant sadness!” “It can be anger too. Or fear. Or happiness.” “….what the fuck
  • “Stop making so many noises!!” “…You mean, breathing?” “Ugh. So obnoxious.”
  • “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S WHAT A BATHROOM IS FOR”
Demons Vs Trees

Our party was making our way through a desert, only to find a forest of cedar, growing in straight lines. Finding a obviously man-created forest in the middle of a desert was a little odd, so our druid (who speaks plant languages) decided to introduce himself. 

Druid: Hello, I’m-
Tree: Do you have the stuff? Am I growing straight enough? I can grow straighter if you give me the stuff!
Druid: The…. Stuff?
Tree: Yeah. You know. The stuff.
Druid: I have no clue what the stuff is.
Tree: Guys, he doesn’t have the stuff. (The other trees groan.) Why would you even come if you don’t have the stuff? 

Meanwhile, the fighter and enchanter find some rocks scattered all over the place that could be used in very strong plant growth potions. They relay this information to the druid.

Druid: I don’t have the stuff, but I can try something. (He casts a spell for speeding plant growth)
Tree: Yes! Yes! Again! More! Do it again!
GM: The trees outside the spell radius are getting agitated and are shaking. They are yelling at you for not casting it on them.
Druid: Holy shit guys, these are addict trees.

Later, in the same forest, we get into an encounter involving a bunch of low level demons.  

Fighter: There’s a lot of them, so no stealing my kills! (Starts off towards the nearest target)
Enchanter: (Uses a spell that vaporizes all of the demons in a 30ft radius)
Fighter: Seriously? What did I just say? (Heads after another)
Druid: (Quietly hands a note to the GM)
GM: Suddenly, the trees begin to shake and branches start falling off left and right. You head thuds through out all of the forest. Luckily, none of you seem to even get a scratch- but all of the demons are dead. After investigating, you find there were more than you thought there were. Maybe about 300 total.
Fighter: Are you kidding me with all this? I wanted to smash something.
Druid: So umm. I might have promised that any trees who helped us in the fight would get a growth spell. We might be in the forest for a while.
Enchanter: I’m still getting over that the battle was won by addict trees.