why is it i never get asked to things

anonymous asked:

Puntastic anon--- *arrives on a tricycle while the bike horn cover of last suprise plays* I cannot phantom how much thirst this fandom has, butt all jokes aside your edits are quite good and your writing is pawsome.

I treasure your praise, anon! <3 Things definitely never get watered down in this fandom, and I’m glad my edits can spice things up! Thank you for liking my writing too!! I can’t pawsibly express meow much it means to me. ;A;

You’d always shut me down whenever I spoke You would never let me do anything You’d sit in that damn chair all day watching tv and eating all the food in the pantry and leaving none for me You send me a text asking why I don’t visit You get mad because “I’m ungreatful” but you would hit me because I coughed You hit me because I did things you didn’t You wanted a straight jock son not a gay chef son You’d tell me I’d fail in life Well fuck you,I’m somebody now

sherlysthougths  asked:

Oh my god, thank you for making Fluttershy a tall skinny girl. I've personally never liked the idea that she has massive "assets" (huge titties for those that don't get the joke), and I've always seen her as a very lanky skinny thing. Supermodel figure. Its a nice breath of fresh air to see that.

Thanks lol that’s the exact reason why I made her tall and skinny because I remember that one episode where she became a model. And I kinda contrast her with Rarity as a short thicc gal. Shy’s booby thing is to contrast with Dash’s lack of a booby thing, which is a funny and kinda realistic idea because it is hard as hell to be athletic when you have big breasts… 

Personally I’m just more into the lanky Fluttershy too

i say “i’m seeing a therapist” and he takes a step backwards. why he wants to know. what happened. what made me like this, basically. what was the final step that pushed me safely into the side of scary people like them.

there’s a lot i think about. like how my illnesses effect me outside of the actual symptoms. like beyond the weight there’s a second river to drown in.

i mean we don’t talk about having to stare at employment papers where they ask you to self-identify your problems. that little bead of sweat that forms when you worry - what if i don’t tell them and i need help? what if i tell them and they think i’m a risk factor? what if they won’t give me the job?

we don’t talk about the way some people act when they find out. the ones who are rude about it are one thing. but then there’s those people you thought were your friends who act like you just told them you’re infectious. who become weird and distant and suspicious like a switch flipped. like if they get to close to you, you’ll give it to them.

we learn to be okay with things we overhear on the bus but we never get used to it coming out of the mouth of the people we love. we carry this secret with us like a rotted fruit, clutching it to our bodies. we’re ashamed of our scars in front of our boss. we don’t talk about our panic attacks during lunch breaks. when the cop pulls you over “i’m disassociating” isn’t an excuse we can open the page on. when you watch people make these ranting posts about how real friends always text back, how if someone loves you, they’ll find the time to spend. success stories make other people cry with inspiration while some part of your brain is saying you can’t do that, you’re not like them. things are uglier at the bottom. you can’t explain why you can’t just make friends. you can’t write because you’re depressed but when you’re depressed you write best. you can’t eat today and no don’t ask why please. nevermind taking the train. never mind trying to be happy. never mind reading books and watching movies and wondering where exactly are people like you in hero stories. i watch a video where a man tells me that being depressed is just a mindset. when i wear all black someone remarks i look particularly emo today. it’s 2017 does anyone say emo anymore, i ask her, and she laughs, “you just look like one of those fake-depressed girls.” okay.  

i don’t tell him my therapist is actually why things don’t happen anymore. why i’m getting a handle on it. my tongue feels swollen. i feel embarrassed talking about it. in the highest twist of irony, i think of how many people know my problems anonymously on the internet. i almost spill out all my troubles onto him. instead i tell him it’s just a precaution. that i think everyone should really see a therapist, they’re brain mechanics and we all need a tune-up now and then. he relaxes.

okay. okay. i’m sorry i’m one of them.

p-dots  asked:

I was wondering if you knew anything about the situation with Billy the Asian Elephant at the LA Zoo? I just received an email from the Zoo that a city council motion was filed to remove Billy from the zoo, and they're still trying to fight to keep him. A lot of people claim he appears stressed which is why there's been a big fight to get him moved. I don't really know a lot about elephants so I don't really know what side is best to take or what sources to take seriously (other than the Zoo).

I’ve been following the story of Billy pretty closely. I’m glad you asked - it’s the sort of thing I think is really important to talk about, because people need to understand what’s going on behind the nicely framed stories about animal activism you hear in the media, but I’m never sure how much of that sort of animal industry politics followers are interested in reading. 

The reason this specific instance is so important is because it’s a hell of a lot more complicated than ‘sanctuary vs zoo, which is better for the animals’. The decision to go after Billy - and only Billy, and only right now - looks to me like a really strategic political decision from the animal rights movement, and it falls in line with what I’ve been researching the history, evolution, and MO of the animal rights movement. As I’ve been learning more and more about how animal rights organizations and their partnered sanctuaries conquer and divide to achieve the change they want to see, a very specific pattern of action has started cropping up and this situation exemplifies how they’ve learned to use legislation, the legal system, and the good intentions of the general public to remove animals from zoos. This explanation is going to seem a little bit like jumping at shadows, but this method of petitioning cities to seize zoo animals as assets - and the really conveniently timed fallout that would result from their success - is textbook animal rights organization planning. 

So here’s what you need to know - if Billy is sent to a sanctuary, the LA Zoo would lose their AZA accreditation. They’d likely then be subject to the new wild animal performance law that’s got major support in LA right now, because only AZA institutions would likely have an automatic exemption. The combination of loss of accreditation, potential inability to do public education and outreach, and the ability of the AR groups to spin the situation as ‘AZA kicked them out for being abusive to their elephants’ would massively damage the viability of the zoo as an institution for the foreseeable future… at which point AR groups could easily petition the city to seize more animals from the collection and send them off to sanctuaries, because it’s now “well known” what a horrible institution the LA Zoo is. That would normalize the idea that animal rights organizations and city officials with no professional animal experience know more about animal welfare than the best zoological institutions in the country, and would set a scary precedent regarding what sorts of institutions the public will accept the animal rights organizations condemning and removing animals from. With that sort of potential fallout - and all of the pieces of the puzzle having been successful, individually, within the last decade or so in regards to other animal rights campaigns - this really is not about a single elephant at all. 


AZA has this one really important rule in their accreditation standards, and it boils down to: any zoo they accredit must be considered the experts and have final say over the care of their animals. If anyone external to a AZA accredited zoo overrules that zoo’s choice of care for their animals in any way, that zoo loses their AZA accreditation because they are no longer viewed as having ultimate control over the welfare of their charges. This is really important when it comes to elephants, as the Toronto Zoo lost their AZA accreditation over exactly this situation: animal rights activists caught wind of TZ’s plan to transfer their elephants to a facility in Florida where they’d live in a bigger herd, and petitioned the city council to send the elephants a the Performing Animals Welfare Sanctuary (the same one they want Billy to go to, which has a known history of uncontrolled tuberculosis infections on the property to this day). The Toronto Zoo is a municipal zoo - which means its animals were city property - and the city council chose to claim the elephants as assets, ignore the evidence of animals with active TB already living at the chosen facility, and then overruled the Toronto Zoo staff’s due diligence about what choice would provide the best welfare for their elephants and sent them away to PAWS. Having been overruled by the city council and having lost control of animals in their collection, the Toronto Zoo lost their AZA accreditation. (They later reapplied and were re-accredited). 

So, if the animal rights activists can convince the city council to claim Billy as an asset and remove him to PAWS, it would really damage the LA Zoo as an institution. Their credibility in the eyes of the public would be destroyed, they’d lose exemptions from federal legislation due to losing their AZA status; they’d be forced to pull out of multiple major SSPs (because only AZA institutions are allowed to house animals in the Green level programs, of which LA zoo has number); they’d likely lose grant funding. What’s more, the zoo would then be subject to the recent law banning the use of any exotic animal in “entertainment”in LA, because if has the same structure as similar legislation we’ve seen in other states, only AZA facilities get an exemption. If true, that would mean the zoo would no longer be able to do education and outreach programs with their animals (and this law was backed by PAWS, the organization that runs sanctuary they’re trying to send Billy to). 

There’s a very specific reason that this whole campaign centers on Billy, not all three elephants, which is part of what makes it so clear this is a campaign with an end goal of damaging the LA Zoo’s AZA accreditation. Billy’s two elderly companions, Jewel and Tina, would be far better candidates to be sent to a sanctuary if welfare is really the concern driving the advocacy. They’re rescues from a private owner who were massively underweight and had chronic medical conditions, and it’s not as important for them to stay within AZA’s management as other elephants because they’re too old to contribute to the Asian Elephant SSP. The LA zoo has previously been willing to send older elephants to the PAWS sanctuary without needing intervention from the city council (that story is discussed below), so why is this newer campaign ignoring the elderly females and bypassing the zoo entirely by going to the city council when their welfare would likely be more improved by that sort of move? Jewel and Tina don’t belong to the LA Zoo - they’re officially part of the San Diego Zoo collection and on loan to LA - which means the city council can’t claim them as assets and forcibly remove them. The only elephant at the LA zoo that the LA city council has the ability to control is Billy, and so it’s pretty clear this is about getting the city council to overrule the zoo’s choices in caring for their collection and not about which elephants would benefit most from leaving the zoo environment. 

This is an attempt by the animal rights industry to undermine the LA Zoo as an organization - that much is clear. Billy is just a convenient figurehead and an animal that the public will empathize with while being completely unaware of the the ulterior motives behind the advocacy effort. It comes at a delicate time, too, as the LA Zoo is currently in the process of developing a new master plan for the future of the facility. That’s a future that would be massively impacted by a loss of accreditation and all the potential fallout that would go along with it. 


So that’s the context to the Billy situation, and why people are fighting so hard on both sides of the issue. But what the public really cares about here isn’t the politics, it’s the animal welfare, so here’s a look at history and the welfare of the elephant at the center of all this furor. 

Billy at the LA Zoo. (Photo Credit: San Diego Blogs)

Billy is one of three elephants at the LA Zoo - he’s the youngest, at 32, and the only male. Billy is kept separated from his two elderly female companions, Jewel and Tina, because he’s young enough to still want to reproduce and would injure the elderly ladies if he tried to mount them. However, while the elephants are always separated by a barrier, the exhibit was designed with heavy-duty wire fences that meant the elephants could always be able to see, hear, and touch each other through it. The LA Zoo Asian elephant exhibit is one of the biggest elephant habitats in the United States at 6.5 acres (with almost four acres of yard space), and was opened in 2010 - the construction of a state-of-the-art habitat was part of the resolution from the first time animal rights activists demanded the elephants move to a PAWS sanctuary. 

In 2006, an elderly Asian elephant named Gita died at the LA Zoo. It’s not clear what led to her ending up in position she did, but she was found laying on her back legs with her front legs stretched in front of her. Nothing they did could entice her to stand back up, and she eventually died as her body weight crushed her own tissue and the toxins released during that process overloaded her kidneys. (While this sounds brutal, it’s worth keeping in mind that this is likely how many elderly large animals die if they lay down for the last time in a position that puts their weight on their own body). Animal rights activists had already been agitating for the LA Zoo’s elephants to be sent to a sanctuary, and they used Gita’s death as momentum to push for Billy and the other female housed there at the time, an african elephat named Ruby, to be transported to a sanctuary where it was claimed her welfare would be much higher than at the zoo. The LA Zoo eventually caved to public pressure and chose to send Ruby to PAWS (keeping their AZA accreditation by doing so voluntarily) where she was immediately housed with other animals without a proper quarantine period, exposed to animals who were TB positive and were not diagnosed until after death, and eventually died herself in 2011 from an unknown disease that looked suspiciously like TB (PAWS declined to send out samples for testing, despite what appeared to be physical symptoms observed during the necropsy). 

Gita at the LA zoo in 1999 in the old exhibit. ( Photo Credit: Al Seib / Los Angeles Times)

Billy remained at the LA Zoo after Ruby left, and the organization undertook a 42-million-dollar elephant exhibit renovation with the intention of bringing in another breeding male and a number of females as part of the Asian Elephant SSP. In 2007, local activists sued to halt construction of the exhibit with the goal of removing elephants from the LA zoo permanently and forcing Billy into a sanctuary - after a case that was drawn out for a number of years and repeatedly stalled exhibit construction, the judge assigned instead that the LA Zoo was allowed to continue exhibiting elephants but was required to exercise them frequently, make regular exhibit improvements such as tilling the soil, and banned the use of tools such as bullhooks and guides at the facility. When the new elephant exhibit opened in 2010, the LA zoo decided to put breeding plans for Billy on hold in order to house a pair of bonded female Asian elephants - Jewel and Tina - who had recently been removed from a private owner who had neglected their medical care. 

The three elephants share access to the large, heated elephant barn and have 24/7 access to five unique outdoor yards. Each yard has a substrate of soft sand that is tilled regularly to keep it from becoming compacted and hard - the shifting motion of the sand helps keeps the elephants in shape as they walk over it - and each yard has unique features like puzzle feeders, bathing pools and waterfalls. 

Browse and treats are placed at unique locations around all the yards each day, encouraging the elephants to explore their environment anew each morning. In addition, a comprehensive environmental enrichment program makes sure the elephants always have novel objects and stimuli to interact with and a daily training session (which the public is able to watch as a demonstration most days a week) keeps them mentally engaged by practicing foot care, grooming, practice for any veterinary behaviors that might be needed, as well as strength- and balance-focused exercises.

The AZA accreditation standards - which cover general animal policy in 34 pages, and use another 12 to cover animal interactions with the public or use in education programs - have dedicated 32 pages specifically to the regulations regarding elephant husbandry, training, nutrition, body condition, enrichment, and welfare assessments. As a large AZA-accredited zoo that frequently falls under the celebrity-studded, critical eye of the local populace, it’s inconceivable that Billy’s care (and that of Tina and Jewel) is not in accordance with these highly detailed requirements. 

Photos of the new LA Zoo elephant exhibit. (Photo credits: The Portico Group).

The LA Zoo’s elephant exhibit, finished in 2010, was designed by The Portico Group, a design firm founded in Seattle, WA in 1990. The Portico Group’s exhibit designs consistently awards every year within the industry for their incorporation of the newest animal welfare science and management technologies as well as educational and interpretive options. Their design for the LA Zoo is on par with the quality of the rest of their designs, and features a similar amount of yard space for the elephants as the design they created for the widely-praised Cheyenne Mountain Zoo’s Africa expansion that opened in 2013. 

Billy in his habitat at the LA Zoo. (Photo Credit: AP Photo/Richard Vogel)


One of the biggest reasons people express a concern for Billy is a head-bobbing behavior he’s been known to perform his entire tenure at the LA Zoo. The public is aware that repetitive behaviors (called stereotypies) can be signs of low quality welfare, and often worry that means that Billy isn’t being well taken care of at the zoo. However, one thing that isn’t commonly known about sterotypical behaviors is that once developed, they rarely go away once the animal is in a better welfare situation - which leads guests to often misunderstand an animal’s behavior as it relates to their current care. 

The LA Zoo has studied Billy’s head bobbing behavior over the years, and concluded that it appears to be an anticipatory behavior rather than one brought on by stress, as it mainly occurs when the elephant is awaiting the arrival of food, expecting a keeper interaction, or getting ready for movement into another area of his habitat. They also found that Billy had been noted to be displaying the head bobbing behavior when he came to the zoo at age 4 and that it was not something not something he developed during his life at the facility. 

Just because the behavior doesn’t mean that Billy has low welfare in his situation at the LA Zoo doesn’t mean the staff just want to leave him to bob and sway: to help decrease the amount of head-bobbing Billy does and engage him in a range of other behaviors, the keeper staff change their husbandry routine slightly each day and provide enrichment at different times in order to keep him investigating his environment instead of standing and waiting for regular occurrences. 


At the end of the day, Billy’s welfare does not appear to be the impetus pushing this current furor around “rescuing him” - he’s a convenient figurehead for what appears to be a well-coordinated attempt to undercut the LA Zoo’s credibility and accreditation status. 

But even though the actual welfare of the elephant is irrelevant to the organizations pushing this agenda, the general public is now very invested in understanding Billy’s welfare in regards to the outcome of this situation. 

The sanctuary animal rights activists are recommending Billy be sent to has multiple issues with basic elephant husbandry and medical treatment. PAWS was unable to evacuate their elephants in when threatened by a massive wildfire in 2015, due to their policy against doing even the most basic husbandry training with their animals that would have allowed them to be walked into a trailer or crated for transport. Instead, the animals were sheltered on site as the fire came within a few miles of the facility, putting them through massive amounts of stress and resulting in probable smoke inhalation. PAWS frequently take in animals that are reported as healthy upon transport, only to report having to euthanize them within a few years due to crippling chronic conditions. Most concerning is that PAWS appears to be plagued by frequent tuberculosis outbreaks among their elephants, potentially with multiple strains of the disease, despite their stated adherence to biosafety protocols -and that they have had at least one animal die while sick with active, contagious TB infections that were only discovered post-mortem. 

Billy is currently housed in a modern elephant habitat that was created in accordance with best practices for elephant management by outstanding architects - a remodel that was done specifically in response to the original welfare concerns about LA Zoo’s elephants in the late 2000′s. He has access to state-of-the-art veterinary medicine and is cared for by a dedicated team keepers who practice medical treatment behaviors, like foot care, with him daily to ensure that he can quickly receive treatment in a stress-free setting if it becomes necessary in the future. LA Zoo’s elephant keepers work hard to keep Billy active, mentally stimulated, and make sure he has plenty of positive social interactions with both the human and elephant members of his herd. 

If the goal of the general public is Billy’s welfare, he is far better off in a habitat designed for him to inhabit with the staff he has known for a better part of two decades than being sent across the country to a facility with massive red flags in their elephant management program just to fulfill a political movement’s agenda of damaging the facility that holds him. 


Citations under the cut. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Hey Emma 💛 Do you have any advice for procrastination? I also have a hard time concentrating, what do you do (or think I could do) that would help with that?

Hi! I’ve had a few questions like this recently so I’m just going to answer this one and hopefully anyone who asked a similar question will see it! But on with the answer. I think there is a few different reasons why we procrastinate so I’m going to note those down and give a few tips for each. You can obviously apply any ideas that you like regardless of what section I’ve put them under! 

1. You’ve got poor work/productivity habits. Generally you leave things until the last minute since you “work better under pressure”. (This is so me, omg.) You probably think you’ll do something after you’ve finished something else, and then never do. You get distracted whenever you’re trying to study and will sit waiting to feel motivated but it never comes. For this I’d suggest:

  • create a productive work environment - choose a space where you will actually work without distractions, organise your study space, have everything you need in easy reach. Surround yourself with things you find motivating such as quotes! 
  • write it out - write down a few manageable tasks that you need to do. Writing the actions they require will help you see what you should be doing to complete something, instead of just the overall task. One by one you’ll see yourself getting things done!
  • focus on 20-30 minute periods - generally we lose focus after a while so taking regular breaks can help give you chance to relax and refocus. Apps like Forest allow you to set a timer and will give you off your phone at the same time. Obviously if you’re being productive, don’t suddenly cut that off because it is “time for a break”.
  • use apps/browser extensions to cut out distractions - ones like RescueTime or StayFocusd will block you from checking certain sites.
  • find an accountability partner - pick someone who you can rely on to check on your regularly and see how your tasks are coming along. You can send them your to-do list and then every few hours you can update them with your progress. You won’t want to let them down.
  • use the two-minute rule - if something takes less than two minutes, do it. Don’t make an excuse, just do it. Tasks that are longer you can either delegate or defer. Here is a simple visualisation of what I mean.
  • record your progress - doing a simple “don’t break the chain” in your planner is a great way to see how productive you’re being and therefore get you more motivated to keep it up!

2. You’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Everything seems to be mounting up and nothing seems doable. You don’t know where or how to start. For this I’d suggest:

  • find some help - if you’re feeling like this, it is likely you need some help in some form or another. See if a family member, friend, classmate or teacher (or Google) can help or give you a starting point.
  • tell yourself that getting started is the first step - you don’t need to finish a task in a matter of minutes. Start doing something small. Maybe organise what you need, highlight the important bits of your assessment, or draft an essay plan. The secret to getting ahead is getting started!
  • divide and conquer - figure out what is the overall task that you need to do and split it into manageable parts. For instance with an essay the aim is to write it! Divide it into planning out what you want to write, any references you need, summarising a final draft and then writing each paragraph. By dividing bigger tasks into actionable parts you can reduce the obstacles and get through each part in a more timely manner.
  • reward yourself - create a reward system to celebrate completing a selection of tasks. By rewarding your progress you’ll build an incentive to work and reinforce productivity (great for your self-discipline!). 
  • learn to forgive yourself - if you have an off day, that is okay! You can’t expect to see a huge change in a short amount of time. Remember to come back to it later and try again.
  • don’t over schedule - if you’re feeling pressure from the amount of work and then the added pressure of trying to stick to a time limit, you’re just going to go crazy. Set yourself flexible times to get something done instead of being heavily structured. Give yourself time for a break and the ability to change tasks.
  • stick with one task - it can be so tempting to multitask but try not to. Try to keep focus on the what you’re doing until it is done. If you struggle with that, you could write down anything useful that you randomly think about for another task, use a break-time to think about that other task or alternate between subjects/tasks every few hours.

3. You’re a perfectionist. You either don’t want to start something out of fear you won’t get it right or you can stuck on stuck on the small details. There is a pressure to achieve “perfection”. For this I’d suggest:

  • focus on getting started, instead of finishing - it is easy to get overwhelmed thinking about what something is supposed to be like finished if you’re a perfectionist. Take things one step at a time.
  • remember that your perfectionist tendencies aren’t actually improving your work or productivity but hindering you - you’re continually setting yourself unrealistic objects and (like me) probably feel let down by yourself if you don’t reach them. Be realistic and focus on getting it done!
  • accept mistakes - you’ve written something wrong, don’t panic! Cross it out with a single line and move on. Things happen and you have to accept it. You can’t rip up the page every time you do something wrong, even if it is so tempting.
  • put things in perspective - is what you’re beating yourself up about right now going to mean anything in a week, a month, a year? Be honest if it isn’t, is it really worth putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
  • praise yourself through the process - try not to criticise yourself but recognise your progress. 

4. You’re wanting to do something else. You find whatever you’re doing boring. You want it to be over with but don’t want to get started. The ultimate catch 22, right? For this I’d suggest:

  • remember that putting it off isn’t going to make it go away - if you leave it too long you’ll end up getting more stressed about it. Best to get it over with. 
  • plan from the get-go - once you know something is coming up (e.g. a test, an assessment, etc) make notes on it! That could be questions, annotations, potential topics, citations, etc. By making the effort to spend time reading through, you’ll save your future self some stress. Especially if it’s a topic you have forgotten. That way your notes act as a reminder so you can get started.
  • set a finish time with a reward - tell yourself that if you finish something by ..am/pm and then you can do something else. Use your self-discipline to not go back on this. Set a realistic time and try to get it complete before. If you can think that you’re doing something fun once it is completed, you’ll be more motivated to get it done.
  • make a structure - for note-taking, it can be overwhelming looking at a textbook and thinking what you’re going to write out. Make a note-taking layout/colour code that works for you and that subject. Mine is here - it just give me an idea of how I’d lay everything instead of going in with no action plan. 
  • try to make it fun - this could be using YouTube to learn or starting a study group. Use different methods for memorising information such as flashcards, mindmaps or study guides (like question/answer).
  • make the effort to refocus - if you’re finding something boring and you’re unfocused, walk away for 5 minutes, get a drink and come back. If you’re really struggling, change topics for a while. Find a point where you can finish and start doing something else that is productive. 
  • listen to some music - generally music without lyrics are best for focusing. Spotify has a great playlist for studying called ‘focus’. However I find my regular music good for getting me a little more motivated and awake. I also like writing essays to music because I weirdly sort of type in the same rhythm. Funny study hack I’ve found that works for me haha! 

I hope that is useful! I must have copied and pasted my whole answer like 5 times just incase my tab reloaded and I lost everything, luckily not! You should also check out this post for smaller motivation tips and tricks! xx

things i will never get tired of: fahc ryan whose modeling career didn’t completely end after he joined the fakes

  • ryan,  who mostly models overseas so the rest of the crew have no idea until gavin sees him on a billboard while vacationing in england. gavin sends a pic of it to the crew group chat and ryan comes home to the penthouse wallpapered in photocopies. 
  • “why didn’t you tell us?” “what do you mean, why didn’t i tell you? you never asked!” “ryan!“ 
  • once everyone finds out, the teasing is merciless. michael and jeremy follow him around with cameras for weeks - “ryan! over here, ryan! can i get a smile? vogue for me, ryan!“ 
  • geoff gives him a new codename for every heist - "okay gavin, you and brooke shields over here take the chopper and give us cover” “heidi klum, have you bypassed that security team yet?” “who’s shooting at us? tyra banks, is everything okay? tyra banks, do you copy? tyra?? tyra!!!”  
  • but then one heist requires team love n stuff to do some undercover surveillance at the los santos art gallery’s annual gala; gavin’s dressed to the nines (no surprise there) but ryan steps out in the sleekest tux money can buy and the entire penthouse freezes because goddamn ryan is fucking attractive how the hell did we all miss this and ryan just smirks, shooting geoff a wink as he walks out the door. the teasing stops. 
  • speaking of tuxes, ryan’s wardrobe being filled to the brim with designer clothes: custom-made suits, jeans tailored to perfection, egyptian-cotton shirts, italian leather boots - gifts from designers he’s helped out of sticky situations over the years, with labels and tags cut off to prevent anyone from connecting him to his day job.
  • ryan keeping tabs on all of his model friends. ryan volunteering to be the plus-one/undercover body guard for the fancy parties his female colleagues attend. ryan “paying visits” to modelling agencies who bully and abuse their talent. ryan getting called to fill in at fashion shows at the last minute bc let’s face it, he doesn’t really need the money anymore but it’s a good side gig and they always take care of him so sure, he’ll go to milan for fashion week lemme just ask my boss if i can get the next few days off
  • (and geoff is sooo annoying about it, too - “okay, but you gotta take a picture with gigi and bella” “geoff, i don’t even know if they’ll be there-” “you gotta do it man and get jack some new dresses or something she’s still upset that you blew up her favorite cargobob” “fine”)
  • idk man i just love model!vagabond so much
A white guy’s thoughts on “Get Out” and racism

This weekend, I went to see a horror movie. It got stuck in my head, and now I can’t stop thinking about it—but not for any of the reasons you might think.

The movie was Jordan Peele’s new hit Get Out, which has gotten rave reviews from critics—an incredible 99% on Rotten Tomatoes—and has a lot of people talking about its themes.

First of all, I should tell you that I hate horror movies. As a general rule, I stay far, far away from them, but after everything I’d read, I felt like this was an important film for me to see. This trailer might give you some inkling as to why:

Creepy, huh? You might know writer/director Jordan Peele as part of the comedy duo Key & Peele, known for smartly tackling societal issues through sketch comedy. Get Out is a horror movie, but it’s also a film about race in America, and it’s impressively multilayered.

I left the theater feeling deeply disturbed but glad this movie was made. I can’t say any more without revealing spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet and you don’t want to have the plot spoiled for you, stop reading now and come back later.

Seriously, this is your last chance before I give away what happens.

Okay, you were warned. Here we go.

Our protagonist is Chris Washington, a young black man who has been dating Rose Armitage, a young white woman, for the last four months. She wants him to meet her family, but he’s hesitant. She acknowledges that her dad can be a little awkward on the subject of race, but assures Chris that he means well.

After unnerving encounters with a deer (echoes of The Invitation) and a racist cop, Chris and Rose arrive at the Armitages’ estate. On the surface, the Armitages are very friendly, but the conversation (brilliantly scripted by Peele) includes a lot of the little, everyday, get-under-your-skin moments of racism that people of color have to contend with: Rose’s dad going on about how he voted for Obama, for instance, and asking how long “this thang” has been going on. Chris laughs it off to be polite, though he clearly feels uncomfortable.

There’s a fantastic moment here, by the way, when Rose’s dad offhandedly mentions that they had to close off the basement because of “black mold.” In the midst of the racially charged atmosphere of the conversation, it’s nearly impossible not to take this as a racial remark, and Chris certainly notices, but what could he possibly say about it? Black mold is a real thing; his girlfriend would surely think he was crazy and oversensitive if he said it sounded racist. Chris never reacts to the remark, but that one tiny moment is a reminder to the audience of a real problem people of color often face, when racism can’t be called out without being accused of “playing the race card” or seeing things that aren’t there. (Incidentally, it turns out that the basement is actually used for molding of a different sort.)

There are other reasons for Chris to be unsettled: The only other black people on the estate are two servants, Georgina and Walter (Rose’s dad says he knows how bad it looks, but that it’s not what it seems), and something is clearly “off” about them. Later, more white people show up—and one more black character, and he, too, feels “off.”

By the end of the film, we learn the horrible secret: Rose’s family is kidnapping and luring black people to their estate, where they’re being hypnotized and psychologically trapped inside themselves—Rose’s mom calls it “the sunken place”—so that old or disabled white people’s consciousnesses can be transplanted into their bodies. The white people are then able to move about, controlling their new black bodies, with the black person’s consciousness along for the ride as a mere “passenger.” In a shocking twist, it turns out that even apparently-sweet Rose is in on the plot, and Chris must fight her and the rest of her family to escape.

This isn’t a “white people are evil” film, although it may sound that way at first, but it is a film about racism. I know many of my friends of color will connect with this movie in a way I can’t, so I won’t try to say what I think they’ll get out of it. I do want to say how I connected with it, though, because I think what Jordan Peele has done here is really important for white audiences. 

If you look beyond the surface horror-movie plot, this film actually gives white people a tiny peek at the reality of racism—not the epithet-shouting neo-Nazi kind of racism that white people normally imagine when we hear “racism,” but the “Oh it’s so nice to meet you; I voted for Obama” kind of racism, the subtle othering that expects people of color to smile and get along and adopt white culture as their own whenever they’re around white people.

So many of the moments in Get Out are clearly intended to work on multiple levels. When Chris confronts Georgina about something being wrong and she smiles and says, “No, no no no no no,” with tears streaming down her cheeks, the symbolism is blatant. How often do people of color have to ignore the subtle indignities they face and hide their true emotions in order to avoid coming across as, for example, “the angry black woman/man”? How many times do they find themselves in social situations—even with their closest white friends!—where people make little comments tying them to an “exotic,” supposedly monolithic culture, where they have to respond with a smile and a laugh instead of telling people how stupid and offensive they’re being? 

I can’t tell you the number of these stories I’ve heard from my friends, and I’m quite sure that the stories I’ve heard are only a tiny fraction of the stories that could be told. So there’s something in that moment that speaks volumes about the experiences of people of color in America.

The same is true for so many other moments. The black characters Chris meets at the Armitages’ have all symbolically given up their identities and conformed to white culture; when Chris meets one character, he turns out to be going under a new name, with new clothes and new mannerisms; when Chris offers him a fist bump, he tries to shake Chris’s fist. Again, within the story, there’s an explanation for all this, but every moment here is also about assimilation and culture differences. 

For me as a white audience member, all of these moments did something remarkable: They showed me my own culture—a culture I’m often blissfully unaware of because it’s all around me—as something alien. They reminded me that I, too, have a culture, and that expecting everyone else to assimilate to my culture is just as much an erasing of their identities as it would be to expect me to assimilate to someone else’s culture.

And that’s a big part of what Get Out is about—the erasing of identities, and the power of racism to destroy people. I think it’s really significant that racism is portrayed here very differently from how it’s normally portrayed in movies written by white people. In most Hollywood movies, you know a character is racist because they shout racial epithets or make blatant statements about a certain race’s inferiority. That allows white audiences to say, “I would never do/say that, so I’m not racist!” We really don’t want to think we are.

But notice something important about Get Out’s treatment of racism: This is a film about the literal enslavement of black people—racism doesn’t get more extreme than that—and yet Peele doesn’t go for the obvious by having the white characters admit that they think black people are inferior; instead, they subjugate and dehumanize people by claiming to admire things about them. They turn them into fashion accessories. 

When Chris asks why only black people are being targeted for this procedure, the response is telling: It’s not (supposedly) because the white characters think African Americans are bad, but rather, because they like certain things about them and they want “a change” for themselves. They want to become black—it’s trendy, we’re told!—but without having had any of the actual life experiences or history of African Americans. White people need to see this: to experience the ways in which Chris is othered by people who tell him all the things they like about him—isn’t he strong? Look at those muscles! Does he play golf like Tiger Woods? And he must be well-endowed and have such sexual prowess, right, Rose?

The white people in the audience need to be reminded that just because you’re saying positive things about someone doesn’t mean you’re not being racist, that turning someone into an exotic “other” may not be the same as shouting an epithet, but it’s still taking away someone’s identity and treating them as a commodity.

The film is filled with these kinds of moments. When we realize that Rose’s white grandmother has inhabited the body of Georgina, the fact that she keeps touching her own hair and admiring herself in the mirror takes on a whole new level of significance. (White people, please don’t ask to touch your black friends’ hair.) When Chris connects with a dying deer on the side of the road and later sees a deer head mounted on the wall at the Armitages’ estate, the symbolism is hard to miss. Black people are being turned into trophies in this house. And, oh yeah, they’re being literally auctioned off—as they were in real life in the not-too-distant past.

One day, I’d like to see the film again to pick up on all the ways things read differently the second time through. I noticed several things in retrospect that gain new significance once you know the ending, and I’m sure there’s a lot I didn’t notice. For example, Rose’s dad says he hired Walter and Georgina to care for his parents, and when his parents died, “I couldn’t bear to let them go.” The first time you see the film, it sounds like the “them” is Walter and Georgina. But in retrospect, it’s clear the “them” he couldn’t bear to let go was his parents, so he sacrificed Walter and Georgina for them. Which, again, is an example of how the supposed care of the white characters for the black characters (his care for Walter and Georgina, Rose’s care for Chris) is really all about caring for themselves and treating the black characters as completely interchangeable objects.

The message of the film isn’t simply that the black characters are “good” and the white characters are “bad.” There are presumably—hopefully—many good white people in the world of this film, and many others who wouldn’t do what the Armitages are doing but also probably wouldn’t believe Chris or make the effort to stop it. Peele’s mother and wife are both white, so he’s clearly not trying to paint all white people as villains. 

But I admit, as a white guy, I really, really wanted Rose to be good. I’ve been the white person in an interracial relationship introducing my black boyfriend to my family. I’ve been that. So I related to Rose, and I really wanted to believe that she was well-intentioned and just oblivious; even though she misses the mark on several occasions, there are times that she seems like she gets it and she really does listen to Chris. When a cop asks to see Chris’s ID early in the film even though he wasn’t driving, Rose stands up against the obvious racism, showing us all what it looks like for white people to do the right thing. “That was hot,” Chris says to her later, and I thought, yeah, that’s who I want to be.

So I have to admit, it was really upsetting to me to see Rose, the only good white character left in the film, turn out to be evil. But I realized that part of that is that I really wanted her to represent me, and that’s really the point. Just think how often horror films have only one black character who dies early on, and how many films of all genres have no significant black characters for audience members to look up to or identify with. I think it’s really important for white audiences to experience that.

As I’ve reflected on the film, it seems to me like there are three kinds of popular movies about people of color. There are those that feature POC characters that are essentially indistinguishable from the white characters—as if they just decided to cast Morgan Freeman instead of Tom Hanks without giving any thought to the character’s race. Then there are the movies that deal with racism, but in a way that allows white people to feel good about ourselves, because we’re not like the characters in the film. (This is especially true for movies about racism in the past; some of them are very important films, like Hidden Figures, which I loved, but we need to be aware that it’s still easy for white America to treat it as a feel-good film and think that we’re off the hook because we no longer have separate restrooms.) And finally, there are movies that focus more directly on the lives of people of color but tend to draw largely audiences of color; not many white people go see them, because we think they’re not “for us” (even though we assume films about white people are for everyone).

Get Out isn’t any of those. It’s drawing a broad audience but it’s not afraid to make white people uncomfortable. And if you can give me, a white guy, a chance to have even a momentary fraction of an experience of the real-life, modern-day, casual racism facing people of color in America, I think that’s a very good thing.

Why don’t people understand cultural appropriation is an American thing? In other countries like Italy, France, Germany, England, Ireland, basically all of Europe, Asia etc. it literally isn’t even a concern. Honestly, political correctness in general is mostly an American thing. Yelling at people from other countries about it won’t get you anywhere because they honest to goodness don’t grasp what you’re saying. A lot of them just think you’re saying they’re being racist and their reply is going to be “no I’m not! I swear I love all races I just really like this style/trend/whatever” because it literally isn’t an issue where they come from. You’re asking them to accept, understand, and adhere to an idea that they’ve never even encountered and isn’t a thing where they live, because it’s a thing in another county. I’m not making any stance on cultural appropriation or stating my opinion, I’m just explaining why people in other countries probably don’t understand what the f you’re talking about when you bring it up.

The tragic story of too much info about the sexual relationship of your best friends or why Alya will forever regret trying to kill Adrien

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @lunian !!!!!!! Remember when we talked about this? Well, I couldn’t resist writing it. I hope you’ll like it. Crack ahead. And if the title wasn’t a dead giveaway, this has some sexual references in it. Nothing happens, but many are said.


“ADRIEN FUCKING DEAD AGRESTE!”

All the people who were still in the courtyard of the Collège Françoise Dupont run for the hills (or in this case, the school building) as Alya Césaire appeared and walked towards her best friend’s boyfriend with all the might of a storm.

“Dude, I think she means you.” Nino stage-whispered to his best friend as his girlfriend made a beeline towards them.

“But my middle name is Bartholomé.” Adrien argued.

Nino rolled his eyes. His best friend really needed to set his priorities straight. “That’s what worries you?”

Adrien gulped. “Burry me in a polka dotted coffin, please.”

Nino was under the impression he wasn’t kidding in the slightest. “Sure, if there is anything left to bury.”

“There won’t be!” Alya snarled as she lifted Adrien by the neck.

Well, this morning is certainly bound to be interesting, Nino thought.


One day, Marinette will be on time to school. One day. Today wasn’t that day. As Marinette speed walked through the school yard she couldn’t help but notice what a beautiful day it was. The sun was shining, birds were singing, Adrien was being strangled by Alya… wait a second.

“Alya!” Marinette shouted, rushing towards them. “Put him down.”

Her best friend was obviously not happy to have to delay her murder. Meanwhile, Nino considered if he should stop filming the whole thing. If Marinette was here, then maybe there won’t be need of proof for the police for a murder. Though, let’s be real, he would never turn his girlfriend in. He would have just posted the video on YouTube in his collection of An Infinity of Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Piss Alya Off. If he was recalling correctly, this video would be number 2749.

“Alya, what is going on? Why are you strangling my boyfriend.” Marinette questioned crossing her arms, while Adrien was gasping for air on the ground.

“Marinette,“ Alya’s tone was regretful and the sad look in her eyes indicated something bad was coming. “I’m sorry to say this honey, but he is cheating on you.”

And in that moment, Marinette felt her whole world crashing down. “What?! With whom?”

Marinette was dying to hear that answer. Who? Did Adrien really cheat on her? Was it some rabid fangirl who jumped at his bones and Alya just got the wrong impression?

Alya sighed. “With Ladybug.”

Marinette blinked. “Damn.” both her and Adrien whispered maybe a little too loudly. Thus Adrien choked, cause he still didn’t regain his proper breathing.

“That’s… unexpected.” Marinette managed to say, trying to think of something plausible to get them out of this situation. She knew it was a bad idea to make out when only one of them was transformed. Damn Adrien and his filthy thirst for her spots. “It isn’t a problem, though, cause… um… this is… an… open… relationship.”

Oh well, not the worst excuse she could have had come with. Alya crossed her arms obviously expecting an explanation while Nino muttered a ‘dude’ under his breath. That’s when Adrien decided to be a supportive boyfriend.

“Yeah. Marinette has her fun times with Ladybug too,” he said, raising his index finger as if that would help him make a point while he was still laying on the ground.

Why is he like this? Marinette sighed internally.

Alya turned to Marinette with an expression that was a mix of shock and anger. “You are hooking up with Ladybug and you didn’t tell me?!”

Marinette glared down at Adrien, who looked sheepish. “Yeah. And don’t forget about Chat Noir.”

“Chat Noir?” both Alya and Nino screamed simultaneously.

“Yeah,” Marinette stated, looking at Adrien, who finally picked himself off the ground, with a mischievous look. “Why don’t you tell us about your escapades with Chat Noir, Adrien?”

Her boyfriend laughed nervously. “What escapade do you mean?”

Marinette smirked. “Well, you did tell me that Chat Noir found you wearing cute yet sexy Ladybug lingerie.”

At this point, Nino had to turn off his camera, unable to hold his phone anymore. “Dudeeeee.”

Alya, to everybody’s surprise, was silent until now. But there was as much as the shock could keep her from asking. "But what about Ladybug?”

“Oh, she thinks the same” Marinette replied calmly while analyzing her nails.

“No, no, I mean, I thought Chat only loves her.”

“Oh that… well, who can resist this model ass?” she asked rhetorically while slapping Adrien’s ass for emphasis. Nino nodded vigorously as well. Honestly, wasn’t it universal knowledge everybody loved Adrien’s ass?

Adrien glared at Marinette. Not for smacking his ass, mind you. He loved getting his ass smacked by her. But for making fun of his taste in lingerie. Well, if this is how she wanted to play, so be it then. “Of course. So if we are discussing this topic, why don’t you mention that time when Chat caught you wearing lingerie inspired by his outfit?”

’Well, don’t try hiding the fact that once you begged Ladybug to tie you with her yoyo.“ Marinette scoffed, trying to hide her blush. That had been an interesting night.

"I need a bucket,” Alya muttered, not sure what to think of her friends and her idol anymore.

“YOU CALLED CHAT NOIR’S DICK AS A BATON!” Adrien shouted louder than necessary, while blushing.

“I guess, I need one too” Nino said, wishing he will just forget everything that had been said so far. And from now on, because apparently Marinette and Adrien weren’t done.

“Remember when you told Chat Noir that you want a collar with a bell too?”

“Oh, really Marinette, should I remind you that one time when I walked on you and Ladybug and you were blindfolded?”

Nino glanced at Alya. “Are we kink shaming them now or later?”

“Then you asked us if you can be blindfolded instead and, I quote ‘used as your little sex toy’.” that had been a strange day. She had an urge to blindfold herself, Adrien came over unannounced and things escalated quickly and she discovered some new kinks of her boyfriend.

“I guess, if we die right here, right this second, they wouldn’t notice it.” Nino states, but Alya was unable to reply anymore, not sure what to make out of this whole conversation.

“You begged Chat Noir to slap you with his tail belt.” Adrien argued back, while his face was putting any ripe tomato to shame.

Marinette screeched. “YOU WERE WEARING MY FAVORITE PINK STOCKINGS.”

“THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.”

"I’m sure it totally does.”

Adrien scoffed, crossing his arms. “But you can deny they suit me.” he knew she liked them. She even said so that night. They had been a little tight, but she had made him a matching pair better fit for his height.

"Jesus, how many moments like this do they have?” Nino questioned, clearly shocked by how kinky his bro was. And he was sort of afraid fo the answer, if he had to be honest.

“What’s more important, why are we still listening to this mess?” it was Alya’s turn to ask questions that will never get answers. “I’m not even sure if I want to use this thing as blackmail or just erase it from my brain forever.”

“To be honest, it would be much better if Adrien really just cheated on Mari with Ladybug,” Nino said hesitantly, obviously scared of Alya’s reaction. “I mean, I wouldn’t have forgiven him if he ever did that, but at least, in that case, us, innocent bystanders wouldn’t have to be traumatized for life.”

Alya could only nod. Honestly, the mental picture fo Adrien in Ladybug themed lingerie left her with brain damage.

After what seemed like an eternity Adrien and Marinette finished their not so little argument, both huffing and as red in the face as the surface of Mars. Not that anybody would say that out loud, given how much of a nerd Adrien is, he would come with some science facts about the color of the surface of Mars.
.
“So yeah, we have an open relationship.” Marinette concluded, the two of them finally turning to their best friends.

“We got it after the reminder about Chat Noir, thank you.” Nino said, sarcastically.

“Now get outta of my sight, my poor brain had dealt enough with your kinks for now and forever.” Alya ordered waving her hand desperately while rubbing her temple with her free hand.

“Well, if you didn’t want to kill me, none of this would have happened.” Adrien said with a smug smirk.

Alya snarled. "Next time neither Marinette or even fucking Ladybug won’t stop me, Agreste.”

Adrien gulped. Marinette slapped him compassionately on the ass.

There’s a legitimate discussion that needs to be had about why Julie has such a hard time showing unconditional love and friendship between girls and seems fine showing it between boys, but:

Say what you will, the boy squad would never fucking do this. When Isak withdrew into himself, was clearly having a hard time–they may not have sat him down for an intense heart-to-heart, but they knew something was up, they asked him if he was okay. When Isak forgot Magnus’s birthday, they let it slide. When Isak tried to start a physical altercation with Mahdi, the dude didn’t even get mad about it. They were all concerned, because Isak didn’t seem like himself. And when he apologized, they forgave him immediately. And I know for a damn fact that if any of the boys had done what Sana had done, the first thing they would have done is ask why. In fact, setting aside some of the deeply problematic (if generally well-meaning) shit Isak said to her afterwards, he did ask her why, right off the bat. He did the thing. And he stepped up to defend her by taking the fall.

Hopefully in the show Sana will at least get some support from her family and Jamilla, but in the meantime imma let those Sana + boy squad + Evak headcanons rise like never before, because FUCK THIS.

anonymous asked:

Why do we think that Camila is not innocent in the sheets? It seems like she gets super uncomfortable with sexual things, tbh I don't think she committed any sexual acts...her mom is around her 24/7 anyway. Also that Michael guy she admitted to just kissing him I feel like that's as far as she'll go atm

First of all Camila never admitted to kissing anybody by name, second of all I’m sure Sinu worries about her own life from time to time, and finally, have you met Karla?

Trust me Lauren swiped that v-card a long time ago

As a black woman with a visible leg prosthetic I hate how I’m expected to put aside my personal discomfort to “educate” people. I have folks come up to me asking me things that I will never answer and get mad when I politely ask them to leave me alone. “Can you have sex?” “How did you lose your leg?” “Can I touch it?” These are few of them most irritating questions I get on the daily. I will never disclose how I lost my leg. It was traumatic, painful, a depressing! Why would you put me through that? And how dare you get rude, mad and persistent when I ask to be left alone? Disable people aren’t here for your pity and questions. We’re human just like you. Do not touch us without permission! Don’t even ask! I told my therapist one day that the worst thing that came with my disability was not relearning how to walk, losing my leg, walk up stairs but the inconsiderate people that won’t leave me alone. When I had my leg people ignored me and let me be. I miss that. So before you go to a disable person in regards of “educating” yourself simply ask yourself “Is it any of my buisness?” “Do they wanna talk about it?” “Are they comfortable?” “Is this an appropriate thing to say?” “Does this concern me?” And most importantly treat me like a human being. I didn’t lose my right to privacy and humanity when I lost my leg. Stop asking to take pictures with me, I am not a freak. Stop using your children as weapons to get me to speak, cause I won’t. Stop telling me about that one amputee in YouTube you saw happy that people are asking her about her leg, I am not her. I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask for?

bilbroswaggins69  asked:

Coffee shop au or fake marriage thing??

Ahahaha ok ok I’m gonna go with coffee shop au because it is… so classic but also versatile.

Alright so I’m feeling this as a klance AND shallura thing, because brothers who suffer together, stick together.

So poor stressed out Keith is a university student, trying his best to study, meet assignment deadlines, and manage to take care of himself. He’s faring… ok. There’s a coffee shop he frequents on campus that has a lot to with how he copes. He goes in one day hoping to get his usual long black and say hi to his friend Hunk that works there, when he’s served by someone he’s never seen before.

And oh no. OH no…. he’s really hot. Killer smile. Tan skin. Broad shoulders. Narrow hips that Keith wouldn’t mind grabbing onto…. wait, what was he doing here again? He blurts out his order and robotically moves to the pick up counter. The baristas name tag says “Lance”. Lance serves him his drink with a cheery smile and Keith scuttles out the door.

Keith comes back later that day. And the day after that. 3 times on Tuesday. 4 times on Wednesday. Each time he thinks about asking Lance out. He repeats pick up lines to himself while he stands in the queue, but when he gets to the front, all he manages is a “fell from… hurts!….. I’d likealongblackpleasethankyou”

Shiro is noticing a huge difference. Keith is jittery and has huge bags under his eyes. He notices the coffee cup always in his hands and how Keith starts shivering if he goes for a few hours without caffeine. Shiro starts to reprimand him, but Keith brushes him off.

One day Shiro actually catches Keith entering the coffee shop. Shiro jogs after him, ready to drag his ass out of there. He bursts through the glass door and halts…..

Oh… oh sweet, gay, Keith. Shiro watches how Keith blushed when Lance remembers his order. Shiro knows exactly what’s been going on. He gets in line with a smirk. He conversed easily with Lance, and tells him that Keith always raves about the coffee here.
“Oh, Keith? That’s his name. I’ve just been calling him handsome.” Lance laughs and winks Keith’s way. He ACSENDS.

Lance gets called into the back room and another coworker comes up to serve. She’s tall, startling blues eyes, and an impossible amount of light hair.

Shiro and Keith both have a caffeine addiction for the next fortnight.

Keith goes in one day looking particularly bad. He hasn’t slept at all, and that’s partially due to caffeine, but also due to a killer assignment he had to complete. Shiro looks slightly better next to him. Lance rushes out from behind the counter.

“Dude you look awful.” Lance grabs Keith’s forearm. Keith talks in slurred words and seems to be only half present. He tries to order a coffee, but Lance says he won’t give him one. That he needs to go home and rest. Keith talks about quadratic equations and mumbles something about really needing coffee right now.
“I think you need to stop”
“Can’t stop. Have to ask out lance. Gotta keep…”
It takes Keith 30 seconds to realise what he’s said. He blushes up to his ears and apologises profusely. Lance takes his hand.
“I would make fun of you, except I could never get up the courage to ask you out either.”
Lance promises to go out on s date with him BUT ONLY after he’s gone home, slept and drunken a lot of water. Keith is about to head off when lance laughs:
“You know, we sell things other than coffee. Why didn’t you just order a juice all those times you came to see me?”

Shiro and Keith look at each other in shock, before hissing out “juuuiiiiiice”.

Keith shifts his coffee addiction to a mango smoothie one. Shiro drinks green tea by the litre.
After a week Allura leaves her phone number on his cup. Shiro has never been so happy and hydrated.

Monsta X as the Mafia + How He Met You

|||Thanks @goeffmercantile for the idea!! I hope you will enjoy this if you read it 😃|||


Shownu/Son Hyunwoo:

Originally posted by jonginsbias

  • The leader and founder of the gang.
  • Often not taken seriously in the industry because of his age but these people seem to disappear not long after they make those statements. 
  • He takes care of the whole business and every mission has to go through him first. 
  • While rarely going out on them himself he’s still a very good shot and an excellent hand to hand combatant.
  • His daily activities include scouting new members and making deals with the other gangs.

That’s how he met you. You were the daughter of one the leaders he came to make a deal with and immediately caught his attention. You had that aura of confidence and respect around you. When he saw you standing besides your father he stood up and said.

“I want to make the deal with her and see if she has what it takes.”

You accepted the challenge and the rest is history.


Wonho/Shin Hoseok:

Originally posted by kihqun

  • He would be the one to take care of gathering information. He actually has too many ways to do that. From sweet talking to torturing.
  • Looks really strong and confident and even come out as cocky on the outside but in reality is really soft, especially to people he cares about.
  • His soft side doesn’t interfere with his work though as once he has to get something he will do it with any means possible, no mercy.

He met you when the gang kidnapped you to gather info. After a few questions though it turns out they got the wrong person, the gang lets him decide what to do with you since he’s also the one who takes care of the bodies. He gives you 2 options. Either stay with him or die. He can’t let you go because you already saw all of their faces. So you decide to stay and as crazy as it may sound it was one of the best decision in your life.


Yoo Kihyun:

Originally posted by jooheonbebe

  • Right hand man of the boss and actually the most reliable member as the others (including the leader) tend to get in trouble a lot and he has to be the one to get them out.
  • Incredibly smart and cunning that’s why his specialty is scamming. Not only ordinary people fall for his charms but also the other gangs. That’s how he gets around town and was recruited in the first place.
  • Although not easily annoyed he does lose his patience sometimes and you better don’t even be near him when he does. 

He actually knew you from high school and promised not as much to you as to himself that one day he will definitely find you again and make you his. And so he did, a few years later, after making a title in the mafia world he waited for you outside your house. When you saw him, you couldn’t believe your eyes, it was him, he was alive.

“Sorry for making you wait this long.” he said with a smile but you didn’t care anymore as you jumped in his arms.


I.M/Lim Changkyun:

Originally posted by wonhobe

  • One of the top assassins in the gang.
  • When he and Jooheon get together expect no survivors.
  • He’s more skilled with guns and is actually quite proud of his collection.
  • Keep tracks of how many people he kills and tends to brag about the clean shots he made.
  • While not on a job, he looks pretty casual and you would never be able to tell that he is part of the mafia. Also kind awkward when he needs to talk about other topics besides guns and violence.

He met you in a coffee shop right outside his home. He used to spend his mornings there just thinking about ways to complete the mission when he also started noticing you. You also came there almost every morning (he was quite disappointed when you didn’t) and sat at the table by the window. He was mesmerized by you and after a few months finally decided to gather his courage and talk to you.


Chae Hyungwon:

Originally posted by jonginsbias

  • The first person you should come to if you need anything concerning weapons. 
  • Even though his job is to smuggle them to and out of the country to make more money for the gang, he also has a very extensive knowledge about them.
  • He can even advise you which weapon is the best one for certain kills.
  • Doesn’t like fighting himself and actually prefers not to have a weapon on him at all times.
  • But when push comes to shove he has an unexpectedly good accuracy and take cares of the things fast.

You came to buy some weapons from the store he had set up and that’s how he met you. To his surprise you knew everything about the stuff you wanted and couldn’t help but smirk as not often does he meet someone as knowledgeable in his field as you. When he got you the guns you wanted he just casually asked.

“Want to go try these bad boys out with me someday? I won’t be doing any shooting though but I can see you more than know how to use them.”


Lee Minhyuk:

Originally posted by wonhontology

  • Behind his cheerful exterior there is a fearless drug dealer.
  • He likes to keep it simple and be on good terms with his clients but everyone knows that you will be dead on the spot if you try anything suspicious. 
  • He’s so good with his words that he even made some connections with the higher ups in the city from police officers to judges.
  • Because of that and his skills, making drug deals has never been easier.
  • Other gangs often ask him for advice in exchange for money.
  • He gladly agrees but never tells them his secrets.

He met you at the start of his career when after a deal gone bad he was left all beaten up in an alley. You were coming home from your night shift when you noticed him. You immediately came up to him and asked if he was okay, even though he was barely conscious he just laughed and said that he thought you were an angel as he never saw anything prettier than you. You wanted to take him to a hospital but he begged you not to call anyone and so you dragged him to your apartment and nursed him back to health.


Lee Jooheon:

Originally posted by trainingpanda

  • The other one the most feared assassins in the gang.
  • Unlike Changkyun he specializes more in close range or hand to hand combat.
  • His favourite weapon of choice is knuckle duster knife. 
  • Tends to get to know and earn his victims trust before he kills them.
  • Starts acting all weird and does a lot of aegyo when drunk.
  • Is actually really friendly if you’re not his enemy that’s why he has a bunch of friends and companions outside the mafia industry.    
  • Likes making detailed plans of the missions and often helps Shownu and Kihyun with that.

You were actually going to be his next victim. He was hired to kill you by another gang for unknown reasons, not that he asked, he was only here to get the job done and then take the money. He didn’t expect you to be this cheerful and an excellent discussion partner though. This never happened before but he was starting to doubt if he should kill you. When you agreed to him taking you home and were pushed in the alley behind the club you didn’t even flinch or beg when he pressed the knife to your throat.

“Why are you not scared?” he asked.

“Why should I? I did a lot of awful things in my life, so maybe it’s my time to go.” you replied.

That’s when he knew for sure he couldn’t kill you. After he released you out of his grasp he asked.

“Which gang were you from?”

“Why don’t we get back in the club and I will tell you my story?”


A/N: I hope you enjoyed!! Anyhow, I would love to write more kpop reactions, scenarios and stuff like that. I keep up with a lot of groups, both male and female, so if you have any ideas feel free to request!!  😃

BTS reaction to you squirting (GIF)

Jin- 

You and Jin were going your normal pace to the sweet music playing in the background until you got close. He felt the change in you and began going faster. You were so close, but something was different. He would be surprised at first when you told him something was weird, but when you squirted he got intrigued. “Do you think I can make you do that again?”

Namjoon- 

He kept going harder and harder, while your moans continued to get louder and louder, until he felt you tighten around his cock. He buried himself in you only to be sprayed by your squirt. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry Joon. That’s never happened before.” You said as he collapsed on top of you. “Well it definitely wont be the last.”

Yoongi- 

You were riding Yoongi as normal, because he was to tired to put much effort in, but still wanted to enjoy himself. You began moaning louder and throwing your head back. As of a minute ago you were in control of, tempo, roughness, and everything really, but that all changed when Yoongi saw you in so much pleasure. He quickly grabbed you back pulling you toward him as he began to ram into you. You felt so good that when your orgasm hit you squirted. Yoongi, having never made you do that before was confused and worried. “Did I hurt you (Y/N)? Are you Ok?” You could barley get out an exhausted “Amazing”

Hoseok-

When you got home you barely had enough tome to put your purse down when Hoseok attacked you and pushed you against the wall. His hand was already down your pants before you could ask “Looks like somebody missed me today.” You said getting pulled into a heated kiss. he began to pump his fingers in and put of you while simultaneously rubbing your clit. This had you all fired up and when you were close you let him know. With this information he went faster sending you flying off the edge and squirting on to his hand. “Damn baby girl that’s fucking hot. Wanna continue in the bed room.”

(This GIF is pure sin)

Jimin-

It had started as a night in with your boyfriend Jimin while you watched movies and ate snacks. Apparently Jimin had other plans when he began to kiss down your neck and chest slowly making his way to your lady region. He pulled away your pajama shorts and went to town with those gloriously luscious lips. This soon had you throwing your head back, and clenching on nothing. Soon you couldn’t hold back anymore and you squirted. You felt embarrassed because you had just done this all over Jimin’s face when he looked up at you,licked his lips and said, “It’s all right baby. I love the way you taste.”

Taehyung-

When you said you were in the mood you didn’t have to tell him twice. Taehyung began to pound into you with breaks of slow and sensual. He loved teasing you like this but when you looked him in the eyes and then moaned he went crazy. He began to drill into you with no specific pattern or tempo. This soon sent you way over the edge and you squirted. Even though Taehyung had never seen you do that before he wasn’t surprised. “That’s right only I can make you feel that way, and make you do that.”

Jungkook-

Two words. Confused bun. While y’all were in the heat of the moment he noticed you getting closer and closer. So was he so he decided to speed things up a little. He was so prepared for you to lose your cool and moan his name, but when you squirted instead. He became confused. “Why hasn’t that happened before?” He would ask. “Because it’s never been this good before.”

Masterlist

All I wanted was for you to be happy.
—  And now I understand your thoughts, like why you always worried about me. I haven’t quite kicked my habits and it’s slowly killing me. Would you like to hear the bright news? I got a few good habits from you. I read more often now. Sometimes I hate it though, it reminds me of you. Isn’t that why we do anything? There’s something inside of us pushing to get out. I’ve been clawing my way out of an internal hell. I think I’ve killed myself a few times to forget your smile, but then I remember that at one point you were all that I had– happiness and love is such a sore subject, it’s also so temporary. Sometimes when I yell at people, I can hear you cry. So when I get upset, I just turn the music a little louder. I take walks now. I enjoy the loudness of this silence between us, it’s bittersweet. I haven’t gotten around to getting rid of our things, it’s a line that I can’t cut. I guess in a way, I’m still messed up. You know, I ask for forgiveness, but I’ll never understand why I do the things that I do. I’ll never understand why I am the way I am. I talk a big game, I tell my friends to accept themselves, but I still fucking hate myself. I’m just a little lost and sometimes I wish that I didn’t take you for granted. I wish that you weren’t just a memory. I wish that you were next to me. Sometimes maybe we’ll just talk things out without the anger, or sleep together without the sex. Sometimes I wish the broken didn’t crave the broken. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to break out a new poem just to hear your voice. Sometimes I’m a little lost and tonight is just one of those nights. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry.
Prompt: Date Night!

It’s Fanfic Sunday! (Monday whoops, ran a little late because I got carried away with the writing) Prompt is Formal Event + aquarium date, suggested by an anon and the discord chat! <3 Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy the read! Will try to do the other prompts next time! Read it under read more!

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