why is it attacking me though

anonymous asked:

this chapter hurt me in all the rigth places, tbh idk if furuta really wants to kill urie or he is just continuing to push his buttons to incriminate him for the blood bath (though executing the kuroiwas + the Qs for treason could be an option? they already have a date set for yoriko, why not execute everybody once and for all?) but probably the worst part is probably the oggai, wtf, who puts a trigger on unstable childs?

Most likely Furuta is pushing Urie’s buttons so Urie will frame out again and attack and kill Kuroiwa and at least injure him. This is so he can pull this story that Urie has betrayed the CCG and once again clear his name of all badness and those who are on to him. The reason he isn’t doing a mass execution isn’t an option for Furuta tbh. First off something we have to remember the CCG is not really liked, it’s necessary cause Ghouls exist but it’s not liked. Through Kuroiwa and Urie’s own research he found that both the government and other organizations are wary of it especially how it’s only run through the Washuu. They are looking for a reason to intervene and take control of it. Which if that happens Furuta will lose his breeding ground for all the bad stuff that is happening. I mean he’s already being investigated which is what started the fight. Which he could be using Urie to get that off him as well. Another reason he can’t just execute them is he would lose a lot of investigators, both because to them both Kuroiwa and Urie are good investigators it would look more suspicious on Furuta’s behalf especially if it was discovered if they brought in the government to investigate him. It would also just cause some to quit their jobs because it means that one false move can get them executed as well.

As for Oggai it’s Furuta and Kanou we are talking about. It’s probably a fail safe to kill everything in site if they feel outmatched or there are a lot of enemies in general. It’s very sad and dangerous, and the thought of someone doing that to a child hurts as not only can they hurt each other but it will kill them faster.

The way Zionists on this site talk about violence against Israelis is so disturbing. They talk about it like Israelis are just people who are minding their own business, as if they aren’t living on another people’s land and whose state isn’t occupying another people, meanwhile Palestinians who are bombed to death in Gaza deserve it because they “elected” Hamas or something. It’s like the chicken or the egg. Which came first? No one knows because they refuse to acknowledge the violence against Palestinians.

Don’t get me wrong. Israeli civilians do not deserve to die just because they are Israeli, at the end of the day they are people too. I’m just so tired of the double standards here. Why is one group more deserving to live in security, stability, and safety even though that the group enjoys all the benefits and privileges of living there, whilst the other group doesn’t. You can’t talk about violence against one group, whilst overlooking the violence against another. Especially when the violence against Palestinians is STATE-SPONSORED. Individual stabbing attacks are horrendous and deplorable but it is not comparable to the level of violence happening against Palestinians by an occupying army. An attack against an Israeli stops Israeli society for a day, then they continue living. An attack against a Palestinian is just a horrific reminder of the occupation they’ve endured for fifty years.

And if you want to talk about violence, then let’s avoid getting too literal. Let’s talk about how Israel not only occupies Palestinians but controls their water, electricity, and resources too. 

Edward Said summed it up perfectly when talking about terrorism:

“However much one laments and even wishes somehow to atone for the loss of life and suffering visited upon innocents because of Palestinian violence, there is still the need also to say that no national movement has been unfairly penalized, defamed, and subjected and subjected to disproportionate retaliation for its sins as has the Palestinian. The Israeli policy of punitive counterattacks (or state terrorism) seems to be to try to kill 50 to 100 Arabs for every Jewish fatality.” (Question of Palestine, Preface pg. xxi)

and this gem:

“In the West, Palestinians are immediately associated with terrorism as Israel has seen to it that they are. Stripped of its context, an act of Palestinian desperation looks like wanton murder.” (Question of Palestine, p. 171)

and note, he wrote this when much worser violence was happening against Israelis like suicide attacks and bombs but it’s still relevant today.

Beauty and the Beast 2017 is a remake done RIGHT

ive felt the overwhelming need to rave about beauty and the beast since i saw it a few days ago. **SPOILERS**

lets begin from the start


  • it would’ve been hard to go wrong with cast members like Emma Watson, Josh Gad, etc. i had extremely high hopes and was not disappointed
  • Dan Stevens (beast) deserves some appluase for being able to wear that amazingly ridiculous makeup in the opening scene (i fucking loved it)
  • the question of how the hell this village that is within a days ride of the enchanted castle is completely oblivious to its existence is explained
  • they give Gaston a reason to be so creepily obsessed with Belle. i mean that doesn’t justify his behavior at all, but still. he’s just come back from a war and is clearly still exhibiting behavior (violence, dominance, desire) that are products of being at war.  
  • LEFOU !!!!!, i knew i would love Josh Gad in this role. “but she’s so well-read and you’re so….athletically inclined” 
  • they didn’t alter the core story/plotpoints from the original but instead, added some amazing content that really fills many of the holes from the original and more. 
  • Emma Watson’s portrayal of Belle is just phenomenal, she keeps the essence of the character while fleshing out some things that Belle sort of had (defiance, courage, wit) that were only hinted at in the original. 
  • We get a pretty plausible reason for the absence of Belle’s mother, and it explains why Maurice is a little bit odd. 
  • BEAST HAS A REASON FOR IMPRISONING MAURICE. its a stupid one. but at least its something. it always bothered me in the original that Beast locked Maurice up for no apparent reason other than the fact Maurice trespassed (to escape horrible weather mind you) and sat in his favorite chair???? at least here its because Maurice steals a rose (i said it wasn’t a very good reason). i also believe this concept is from the ORIGINAL story written by the french novelist Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve (don’t quote me on that though)
  • MAURICE HAS AN ACCURATE REACTION (RUNNING OUT TERRIFIED) TO FINDING OUT OBJECTS IN THE CASTLE CAN MOVE AND TALK 
  • Ewan McGregor and Ian McKellan don’t need explanation for being amazing. (someone better invent immortality before Sir Ian McKellan meets his fate)
  • Belle is badass, she TRICKS her father so that she can take his place because she fucking loves him so goddamn much
  • Belle also has an accurate reaction to objects being able to move and talk. throwing a stool at them.
  • the question of HOW the fUCK Belle got Beast up onto Philippe after the wolf attack on her own is finally solved (thank god that even bothered me as a child)
  • we are told why the servants care for Beast so much even though he’s kinda dickwad AND we are told why he’s such a dickwad, not just cause he that’s who he is but because his father fucked him up
  • Belle knows about the spell. not how to break it, but she knows that it exists and she knows that a human is behind all the anthropormorphic objects and Beast which makes it A LOT less weird that she falls in love with Beast. In the original, she knows the castle is enchanted but she has no idea about the spell so it’s kinda weird she falls in love with (what she thinks) is just a freak of nature. 
  • BEAST HAS A PERSONALITY AND ITS BEAUTIFUL AND SNARKY AND I LOVE IT HE TRIES TO BEFRIEND PHILIPPE ITS ADORABLE
  • for some reason, it feels as if Belle in Beast know each other for a lot longer in the remake than the original which is nice. 
  • i will now take the time to rave about the music. it’s beautiful. the original songs are gorgeous and everything they added to them (altered words and such) make them better. i havent stopped listening to the soundtrack
  • all newly composed songs are so good and fantastic additions
  • EVERMORE (song sung by Beast when Belle is freed from him) HAD ME SOBBING, HIS VOICE PENETRATED MY SOUL
  • Maurice and Belle are badass as fuck, i swear, partners in crime getting themselves out of the carriage so that Belle can go warn Beast. i died when Maurice just casually handed the asylum guy the picked lock. 
  • BELLE RIDES WITH PURPOSE YAS
  • of course i have to note i was all for the gay lefou storyline

i feel as though i have probably missed some things but that about sums up my thoughts. I could go on about the technical side of it and commend the amazing CGI but that’s a whole other story that would just make this post longer than it already is. 

i was so hesitant about remakes when Disney started doing them, but if the rest of them can be to this caliber - sign me up. 

Victor Hugo Facts and Legends

-His middle name was Marie

-It took him 20-30 years to write Les Mis

-He would write naked a lot bc he claimed it cured his writers block

-May have had a foot fetish?

-Some say he had sex with his wife so much on their wedding night that she got mad at him

-He spent some time in exile bc of Napoleon and the he got invited back but he stayed out until Napoleon III was gone bc he was not having the whole emperor thing

-During that time some Belgians got really mad at him and attacked him shouting “Down with Hugo! Down with Valjean!” (Maybe)

-Basically all of France celebrated his 80th birthday like this guy was a legend

-6 hour funeral procession

-Let me reiterate

-six hours.

-Legend says that when he died most of the brothels in Paris closed in mourning of the loss of their best customer

trophy balls

context: its my second time DMing, and my players have crippled and blinded a cyclops, and are ready to finish him off when…

Barbarian: now that he’s down, i want to cut his balls off with my greataxe.

Me (DM): w… why?

Barbarian: i need a trophy for this kill.

Me: urg… roll for it.

*rolls nat 20*

Me: oh son of a… you cut his balls off and stuff them in your inventory.

Cleric: i want to heal him so gods creature can go free and not want to attack us.

*heals cyclops halfway and rolls a 17 charisma check*

Me: okay… you allow the cyclops to limp away, even though you destroyed his achilles tendon and cut his balls off.

Barbarian: oh, ill actually give him back his left nut. it doesnt feel right if i didnt get to kill him.

It’s time.
It’s the 1rst of March 2017 and that means that this beautiful boy, the reason of this account right here is 23 now.
I can’t really believe how fast time is flying but it is, faster than I ever imagined.
Wasn’t you just 16 yesterday, having your first world tour, wasn’t it just yesterday when my world came out, when you reached more and more goals that you had, wasn’t it just yesterday that this fanbase was created?
Well it’s pretty crazy to think about the fact that this was all nearly 8 years ago, isn’t it?
It is nearly 8 years ago since we started to watch you growing from this little kid into this beautiful young man and I can’t even say how proud I am of you, but just saying that I’m proud would be an understatement because it has been nearly 8 years since you decided to live this kinda life, to take us with you on your amazing journey, and since then, we’ve been here, we’ve been here with you through thick and thin, we stayed through rumors, lies, changes, mistakes, break ups. We stayed when you had the worst part of your life, when you were in deep depression, not knowing what to do with your life anymore, and now look at you my angel.
You rised like a skyscraper out of the ground, you handled your depression, you started to keep your life together again and most importantly, you found your purpose.
You’ve been through a lot, your journey was everything but easy I can tell.. you know, it was tough,
~ you had to deal with the fact that people called you a “ girl ” because of your voice when you were just 16,
~ when you became 17, you were rumored to be a father,
~ you were getting called gay by the age of 18
~ then, 2013/2014, or how we call it, your bizzle phase, you had to deal with more hate than I ever imagined, parents calling you a bad influence for their kids but the worst is that you had to deal with yourself and we had no clue
~ then you turned 21 and you were having a hufe comeback, you went through a lot of changes
~ and well, now it’s the time where I can say, with 22, people called you a jerk and they tried everything to tear you down, but you’re still here.
^ look at all of this, and people still call Justin weak? I’m sorry but for me this just proofs one more that Justin is one of the strongest people existing out there.
And even though you went through all of this, you still managed to love us, to take care of us, to make us feel like we’re worth it, and it amazes me everyday how you have the strength to do it everyday.
People don’t really get it, they will always question the memories I created, we all created with Justin, the stories we have behind all of this, they will never get it, but Justin, there’s one thing you should know and one thing people will always question,
you’re keeping me alive for a lifetime now.
In my darkest times, you were there.
When everyone turned against me and showed me their back, you offered me a hand.
When I thought that all hope was lost, you reminded me that there will always be hope as long as you’re there.
You brought the smile I’ve lost for years back, in such a short time.
You are the reason I’m fighting through a bad day, why I keep holding on.
You’ve always reminded me that I’m not alone, and that you’ll might not be next to me right now but that you will always be with me.
When I was struggling with anxiety, depression and panic attacks, I just had to listen to be alright and I knew that everything will be okay again.
Even though you don’t know how I look, you make me feel like the most beautiful princess.
Do you see this?
You’re the reason behind my smile,
you made me believe in myself,
you made me accept myself instead of bringing it down,
you gave me hope when I thought there’s nothing left,
you stood by my side when I was alone,
you helped me to get out of the darkest place in my life and yet, people still say that you’re a bad influence, shake my head at every single one of them, I wonder if they would still call you names, talk bad about you in front of us, or even come
up with rumors if they would know that you’re the only reasons why their friends, daughters, classmates are still alive.
^ but that’s a different story.
This day is supposed to be about you and only you.
I’m so endlessly proud of you, you’ve got a grammy, a diamond award, our fanbase keeps growing, you’re finally the person who you want to be, you started to figure life out and maybe you didn’t figured out completely, but you figured it out enough to be happy with yourself, and that’s all that matters, your happiness.
There’s so much more I wanna say, so much more things I’m proud of, so much more reasons why I love you, so much more reasons why I will always be with you, but I don’t even have any ideas how to put it into words, because you really do mean everything to me.
But since it’s 12AM,
Happy birthday my angel,
just remember that we love you, that we’ve always loved and that we will always love you because you might not know, but you’re the reason why so many of us are still here.
Happy 23rd birthday my beautiful little cupcake vanilla muffin puppy baby prince, I love you way more than to the moon and back. ❤️🎉

♥ TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME
feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • [ TEXT ] I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
  • [ TEXT ] This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left…bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
  • [ TEXT ] I bet your mom’s never met a girl who’s thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
  • [ TEXT ] Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry’s mind
  • [ TEXT ] You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn’t have predicted the housing crisis.
  • [ TEXT ] I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
  • [ TEXT ] I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
  • [ TEXT ] I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t take a pillow from my bed. You don’t know which ones of them my vagina has been on
  • [ TEXT ] I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that’s not awesome customer service, I don’t know what is.
  • [ TEXT ] my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it’s literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
  • [ TEXT ] that’s what I’m here for. I’m literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
  • [ TEXT ] sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
  • [ TEXT ] All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
  • [ TEXT ] Dude I turned down free booze. I think I’m growing as a person.
  • [ TEXT ] Can’t tell if it’s the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
  • [ TEXT ] I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
  • [ TEXT ] it was a hallmark card with butt plugs
  • [ TEXT ] Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It’ll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
  • [ TEXT ] It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
  • [ TEXT ] His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
  • [ TEXT ] If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
  • [ TEXT ] UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
  • [ TEXT ] We’re lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we’re okay. I think they all understand.
  • [ TEXT ] Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend
  • [ TEXT ] i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering “why” in various inflections.
  • [ TEXT ] Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
  • [ TEXT ] Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
  • [ TEXT ] I couldn’t find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
  • [ TEXT ] Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I’ve never met before.
  • [ TEXT ] Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
  • [ TEXT ] how do i act around someone who’s shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
  • [ TEXT ] he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
  • [ TEXT ] I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
  • [ TEXT ] Why can’t they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I’m meant to be?
  • [ TEXT ] There’s nothing like when u really click with a stripper
  • [ TEXT ] Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
  • [ TEXT ] I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
  • [ TEXT ] Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
  • [ TEXT ] He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
  • [ TEXT ] That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
  • [ TEXT ] You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him “shouldn’t you be yelling at dragons”
  • [ TEXT ] I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It Was All My Fault (Peter Parker Imagine)

Prompt: You’re seriously injured by a villain, and Peter does the only thing he can think of; taking you to Stark. Tony Stark and Bruce Banner help nurse you back to health, but not without a bit of help from a blood transfusion.

Peter Parker x Reader, words: 1693, requested?: no (i actually requested this from someone else and also wanted to write it) warning: near death experience

Originally posted by spydoor-man

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Hamilton Yandere Headcanons

(I love Yanderes too much omehgowd!)

Alexander:

-Writes his victims an anonymous warning before his kills

-Befriends 90% of his Victims before the kill

-Almost always goes to the funeral and speaks

-Makes a public message about it and blames the killings on a sick freak

-Staged an attack on himself

-Kills by using a pistol or strangulation

-Uses Jefferson’s cane as a weapon very often(Only For Jamilton)

-Doesn’t have time for long kills but enjoys them

-Writes in his victims blood from time to time

-Says its red ink from France

Aaron:

-Stalks his Victims

-Sings/hums before his kills

-Rarely is seen with his Victims before their death

-Never talks to his “Senpai” willingly

-Lets his Senpai’s best friend live but scares them horribly(Only Burrmads)

-Buys his Love endless gifts

-gives the gifes to his love but says it from some serect admirer

-Kills with a blade

-Frames others

-during his years as a laywar he had three or more men jailed for his crimes

-makes kills as long and painful as he can

-“Want to just end it? You have to wait for it”

-Plans out everything

THOMAS:

-Will go as far as too fly you out to France just to kill you

-Has a blade hidden in his cane

-Kills only using his cane and bare hands

-Plays endless mind games

-Talk shit about Ham? He’ll bury you alive(Jamilton…..Clearly)

-Isn’t only protective about his love. He’ll kill for his friends too

-Moans his love’s name during the kill

-Has used the blood of a victim in Ice cream he made

-Feed it to the victims family

-Has done the same thing with his blood but he feed that to his love

-Will hide the body under his own bed if he has too

JAMES:

-fakes being sick 50% of the time to appear weak

-Gives off a sickeningly sweet smile before his kills.

-Normally used a chainsaw for his kills

-after killing, he normally sneaks into Burrs house and steals something(BurrMads…….Again clearly)

-Writes in a diary about his kills and his Love

-Refers to his Love as Daddy/Mommy

-Keeps the body around for a few days to defile it

-Has a whole room filled with anything and everything about his Love

GWash:

-Protects Laf and Alex Like its no body bitness to be honest(Washette/Father-Son Whamilton)

-Is protective of his love and close friends

-Kills with a shot gun

-Will cut his Victims up and feed it to his dogs

-Has send body parts of his victims to his Love

-“If I find you anywhere near my son…..I mean Alexander I will personally end you”

-Is mostly likely befriends with his love(Think of that song “Jenny”)

Hercules:
-Is loud all the time but when killing you never hear him

-Uses simple things like darts to kill

-Will sew your skin into a dress

-Attacks with darts and needles

-You’ll hear him coming (Trust me you will)

-Will Befriend you to make you not be cautious

-Seems like a loud sweetheart with dreams

-Actually is very cold inside…..still loud though

-Actually has a backstory as to why he’s a Yandere(Idk yet give me a day or so)

Moon of Fire Part v (Sastiel Sequel)

We are officially halfway through Moon of Fire! I hope hope hope you guys enjoy this part of Sastiel’s story, where you kind of sort of not really understand how the story will unfold? I can’t thank you guys enough for all your support, and them reactions are everything!!!

If you haven’t read A Court of Fire and Dreams:
Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV and Part V.

Moon of Fire:
Part i, Part ii, Part iii, Part iv, Part v

*****

He was in trouble.
Azriel knew the moment he laid his eyes on the blonde haired witch.
She was miles ahead of everyone, twisting and turning in the air as the horizon opened up to pink and yellow and orange hues.
Yellow like her hair glistening in the moonlight—swaying in the wind as she clawed for his throat.
He despised it—her stubbornness.
Despised the unfiltered, opinionated words that came out of her iron teethed mouth.
And despised her—not from the wound she gave him—but for this wild, unusual thing that’s filled his heart.

Keep reading

Go with the Flow

Originally posted by oh-prankster

Pairing: Mark x reader (there’s a lot of Donghyuck in this one sorry)
Genre: highschool!au, fluff , a tittle of angst
Warnings: none
Word count: 5,425


“Ah, please.” your best friend, and perhaps your only real friend other than this girl that sat next to you in class, Donghyuck whined, stomping on the marbled floor of the school hallway while tugging at your wrist. “You’re such a party pooper.” he pouted and let go off your wrist leaving it to hang against your side.

“You know I don’t like parties.” you pressed. A wallflower is what people would describe you as but you chose to describe yourself as just really shy. Throughout your childhood you didn’t make friends easily and the only friendship you had maintained through the years was with Donghyuck.

 The first meeting with him happened when you were five years old, your young jovial self building castles on the sand. Until they came crumbling down under the sole of someone’s shoe. You had looked up and were met with the devilish gaze of a boy with chubby cheeks looking down at you. It was only a matter of seconds before you were bawling, your tearstreaked face was a deep red and you were throwing handfuls of sand at the boy towering over you. That was enough for Donghyuck to start crying too and the whole situation suddenly had turned into a competition of who could cry the loudest. Up until his mother intervened and made Donghyuck apologize to you and help you rebuild your castle.

Keep reading

When I am four,
for the first time in the school bathroom
I grew up too fast.
I learned about what a human body can do,
what we’re capable of.
And I think and I wonder how she knew,
HOW DID SHE KNOW?
Children mimic what they see,
and as they see they do.
SHE SHOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN.
And I’ve grown to think that this is what children do.
She’s just a child, we’re just children
playing with blocks and getting paint on our smocks,
eating cookies
not stealing them carelessly and scarring young children.
Not having their cake
and eating it too
when it was never meant for you.

I’m six years old
and I’m in my grandmother’s house
and this is where I learned hell for the first time.
l close my eyes and grit my teeth,
but I keep quiet and don’t tell anybody
because I think that’s what good little girls do.
IF BLOOD IS THICKER THAN WATER, THAN WHY DID YOU USE ME FOR YEARS AND TOSS ME AWAY CARELESSLY?
Why didn’t it scar you
and how can you look me in the face?
STOP FUCKING LOOKING AT ME THAT WAY.
HOW DARE YOU ASK ME IF I HAVE ANOTHER GUY IN MY LIFE,
as though you didn’t gut me like a fish and spit me back out.
You give me panic attacks and crying spells,
and I’m your little stupid bitch that never tells,
because I’m terrified if anyone sees
that they will see just how UGLY
you made me.

AND THIS YEAR I finally admit it out loud.
The social worker asks me why I didn’t confront you about it,
as though it’s as simple as asking someone the time,
as though it’s as simple to look the devil in the eye
and ask why they ripped your nonexistent innocence away.
AND THIS YEAR I’m tripping in the streets, drunk and crying about what you did to me.
And my best friend is holding me up,
telling me it’s okay
and that I didn’t ask for it,
I asked for it, didn’t I?
Sharing my fears,
I’M SCARED I’M ONLY GOOD FOR ONE THING,
google search: how to be untaught that you’re only good for one thing.
AND THIS YEAR I wish I could say recovery had me under it’s wings,
that it didn’t hurt anymore,
but I still can’t look at myself in the mirror sometimes,
I still feel the ghost of your hands,
I still can’t love myself when you took that part of me with you.

Christian Yu x Reader: Let Me Explain - Chapter 4

Chapter 1: These Seoul Streets. | Chapter 2: Uninvited GuestsChapter 3: Confrontation

Chapter 4: Who Would’ve Thought? 

Word count: 4825 (omg I know it’s the longest one yet)

Series type: Angst, Smut (in later chapters) & Fluff.

Warnings: Bad language.

Additional Characters: DPR LIVE (Dabin) and mentions of other artists/fictional characters.

Rough summary: Christian is your boss but also your best friend. You both have feelings for each other but his way of living complicates your relationship.

A/N: Yooooo the response on chapter 3 was crazy! I didn’t expect it at all. I’m sorry for giving you all heart attacks and thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting these series! Seriously ;) Also keep in mind English is not my first language therefore there might me some spelling/grammar mistakes


“Y/n?”

“Y/n open your eyes; can you hear me?”

“Y/n wake up”

“Y/n come on love, don’t do this to me right now!”

You can’t respond. You heard his voice though. It was him. You were sure of it.

Where were you? What happened? Why can’t you open your damn eyes?

“Y/n!”

“Stop yelling her name, it obviously won’t wake her up.” A female voice this time.

Whose voice was it?

“What the fuck happened?” he asked, he was worried. He sounded anxious.

“I don’t know. I was sleeping and a loud ass thud woke me up and when I got up to look she was just laying there on the bathroom floor.” The female voice answered.

Bathroom floor? The bathroom?

The bathroom!

Yura!? Yura was in his bed! She was there!

In a shocked and panicked state your body jolted forward. You widely open your eyes and start to hyperventilate. What the fuck is happening? You’ve never had this before. You desperately look at your surroundings; you were on his couch. In his living room.

Unable to calm down you feel two firm hands on your shoulders. It’s Christian.

“Y/N shhhh it’s okay! It’s okay! It’s me, it’s me!” Christian said grabbing your face trying to get you to keep looking at him. But all you could look at was her.

The panic in your body shifted to anger. Giving Christian a venomous look.

“What the fuck is she doing here Ian?” you nearly yell at him swatting his hands off of you. Your heart was raising like crazy and all the emotions you felt before you collapsed came rushing back, making your blood boil even more.

“Babe calm down. Please” He begs putting his hands in front of him, showing you he won’t touch you anymore. “We don’t know how much you’ve hurt yourself yet. If you don’t calm down, it’ll get worse” he says cautiously looking at you.

You fainted or blacked out. Guessing the lack of sleep and malnutrition mixed with shock had gotten the best of you.

“He’s right, you must’ve hit your head pretty hard on the tile floor when you fainted.” She says cocking her head sideways while crossing her arms.

You look at her again and jump up, ready to rip her extensions out of her head when you suddenly feel light headed again.

Christian immediately jumped up when you did, and when he noticed your legs were giving out on you he caught you. Making you sit down again while he knelt in front of you.

Yura took a step back with, startled at your actions.

“You need to see a doctor” he says putting one hand on your thigh and another one on your waist

“No, you need to tell me why she was sleeping in your god damn bed” you say angrily and look down at his hand, smacking it away again. “And don’t fucking touch me Christian!” you yell at him this time.

He sighed. “I was going to tell you when you had fully calmed down and had some food, I swear.”

You only look at him, the both of you completely ignoring Yura’s existence.

Eventually Christian turned around, looking at her. “Could you leave us alone for a minute?”

Your eyes don’t leave him. You refuse to look at her. Knowing it would just make you more and more angry.

“Sure.” Her voice sounded sad for some reason. He waited until she was out of the room and diverted his attention back to you.

He looked at you, still knelt down in front of you. Not knowing how to start.

You looked straight into his eyes and crossed your arms. “I don’t think you quite understand how much it takes from me not to slap you across the face right now” you eventually say still looking straight at his face.

He sighed getting up and sitting beside you on the couch again.

This time you don’t look at him. The silence made it impossible for you to ignore the pounding pain and pressure on your head. You squint your eyes closed, trying to bare it.

“Y/n are you sure you feel fine?” he asks again just to be sure.

You know it’s childish but you don’t answer him. Not until he explains.

He sighs after realizing you won’t talk to him and he leans back, running his hand through his hair.

“She’s been staying here ever since that night” he finally says.

You slowly turn your head, looking at him, but this time he didn’t look at you.

“She was so drunk when I got back, the YG staffs were nowhere to be found so I just decided to take her home and let her sleep it off but then she told me I couldn’t take her home.”

You just look at him, waiting for him to continue. He finally looks back at you, trying to see if you had calmed down but your jaw was still clenched.

He took a deep breath closing his eyes for a few seconds and opening them again. Looking to the floor.

“Her parents kicked her out because she kept being a YG trainee a secret from them. When it was all over the news that YG was going to debut her, her father found out. They’re really conservative and don’t want her to be an idol or anything like that. Her dad is a lawyer, so he expected her to become one too. Her mom hasn’t even spoken to her about it.”

You unclench your jaw, relaxing a little bit. Looking at the floor not knowing how to feel anymore.

“Keep explaining” you finally say.

His eyes quickly darted back to yours, surprised you spoke to him, but he looked away again when he continued talking.

“She slept at the company or at a staff members’ house, but the staff member told her that she could only stay for a few weeks and when those weeks passed she just stayed at the company’s training center without anyone noticing.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek and sigh. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because you kicked me out, remember?” he says looking back at you. You avoid his gaze, suddenly feeling guilty about the situation.

“I didn’t feel the need to tell you because I figured she’d be gone in a couple of days. You still wouldn’t answer my calls or reply to my text messages so after a while I just stopped trying. Figuring that if you wanted to talk you’d show up yourself and well” he says looking at you. “Here you are.”

Noticing how your body language looked more relaxed he decided to continue explaining.

“YG only provides living arrangements for solo artists when they’re debuted.”

“Does that mean she has to stay here longer? I mean does she really not have anyone else to ask for help?”

He chuckled. “You know, she told me she was so desperate that she was going to ask you on the next dance practice, but I told her there wouldn’t be a next one with you. It was after I dropped her from DPR”

“I still don’t understand why you did that” you say under your breath.

“Because I care about you more than any deal on the planet y/n” he says looking at you.

You brush your fingers through your hair and sigh, leaning your elbow on your thigh to rest your head in your hand for support. As your hand touches your head you feel a bump growing on the side of your head.  You flinch as you touch the painful area, trying to act as natural as possible before he noticed you were in pain, but your movements didn’t go unnoticed.

“Are you okay?” he asked sitting up, grabbing your wrist.

“I’m fine.” You say yanking your hand out of his hold.

“You should have told me the minute I walked in” you say staring into distance.

“I see that now, yeah.” He says rolling his eyes. “Uhggg how did I get myself into this mess” he groans throwing his head back onto the couch.

You don’t respond to him and play with your fingers in your lap.

“Where do you sleep” you ask, needing to know the answer desperately.

“The couch” he answered calmly. “I’m barely home and neither is she, this is just a place where I sleep and wash up that’s it, I rarely run into her.”

“I still don’t like it Ian” you close your eyes. “Literally out of all the people on the planet it just has to be her.”

He sat up looking at you. “She’s really not as bas as she seems y/n, I know that’s probably the last thing you want to hear but the whole façade that everyone seems to think is her personality, is fake. It’s just a defense mechanism so no one can get close enough to hurt her feelings.”

He’s right. You really don’t want to hear about how the girl you dislike, who sleeps in his bed and lives in the same space as him; may not be as bad as she seems.

“How much longer?” you ask.

“She said she’ll be outta here in a week, her sister will return from her overseas trip so she’ll stay with her until debut” he explains

Another week? Even though Christian might not have the intention to win her over anymore it still bothered you to your core. Christian has the annoying habit of being a chick magnet. All it takes is being nice for them to fall in love, and even though Yura has a dating ban, you see the way she looks at him.

Your thoughts hurt your heart. You know he didn’t do much wrong…this time.

You’ve heard enough. Unable to handle more information for now.

“I’m going home” you say slowly getting up.

Christian’s eyes shoot up to you, standing up just as quick.

“You are in no condition to drive. You still haven’t eaten, and I’m a thousand percent sure you have some type of a concussion.” He says standing in front of you.

“I’ll just call a cab then” you say trying to walk passed him, but he stops you by grabbing your wrist again.

“No. I don’t want you to be alone.” He says letting go of you.

“Stay” he simply says giving you a hopeful look, hoping that your tired and unstable self would just agree even though he knew that your stubbornness wouldn’t.

“Not while she’s here Christian.” You say. “I just need space. A shower and my own bed.”

“Then I’ll go with you” he tries again, but you simply shake your head declining his offer.

Christian gave up, knowing you wouldn’t listen to him. He decided to do something he wished he didn’t have to do, asking Dabin for help.

The thought of you being alone worried him more than the thought of Dabin spending the night at your place. He knew Dabin would never leave your side if he heard that you hurt yourself, and he was also the only person he could trust to take care of you right now that you wouldn’t decline.

After Christian told you Dabin was on his way to pick you up, you relax. Feeling comfort thinking of him being here soon.

Waiting for him you finally gave in to your heavy eyelids and pounding head. Falling asleep on Christian’s couch.

                                                   - time jump –

You open your eyes slowly, feeling like you were being moved quickly.

Your eyes slowly adjust to the night sky, looking out the window of a familiar car watching other cars drive by in the opposite direction. You were on the high way, on the way home.

You felt nice and warm due to an unfamiliar leather jacket wrapped around your frame, blinking a few more times before you finally look beside you.

It’s Dabin, focused on the road ahead of him.

You shift in your seat, the noise alerting him as he looks at you. Giving you a warm smile as your eyes meet.

“Hey there” he says not too loud and not too soft.

“Hi” your voice was barely audible but you try to crack a weak smile at him.

“Aigoo” he chuckles. “You look like you’ve been through world war 3” he says looking back at the road again.

“I have” you joke clearing your throat a little.

“We’re going to the doctor first thing in the morning you hear me?” he says a little angry. “How do you not take care of yourself enough to the point where you faint y/n?”

You just nod like a little kid being told off, looking at your expression his face softens, sighing at the sight of you.

“But first you need lots of sleep okay?” he says steering with one hand and softly petting your head with his other.

He accidently touches the bump on your head making you flinch. You smack his arm in response.

“Ouch!” you whine.

“Fuck, Sorry. I forgot.” He says putting both of his hand back on the steering wheel again.

                                                   - time jump –

you enter your apartment. The smell of amber and vanilla welcomes you. You inhale and exhale deeply, feeling comfortable to be back home.

Dabin walked closely behind you, watching your every move.

“I’m okaaaay” you sigh, annoyed at his tense behavior.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat?” he asks putting your handbag down on your kitchen counter.

“I just want to shower and go to sleep.”

“Okay, but eh y/n don’t lock the bathroom door just in case, alright?” he says sitting down on your couch and turning on the TV.

You roll your eyes and chuckle. “I won’t collapse again. I promise”

“You better not” he says following your movements with his eyes.  

After you shower and put on your pajama’s you feel at least a hundred times better.

Dabin convinced you to eat a protein bar you had laying around before you went to sleep, and you had to admit. Even though the sight of it made you want to puke, you did feel better after consuming it.

He made sure your phone was in your charger. He even tidied your place up a bit when you were already sleeping.

He returned to your room, walking towards your bedside table, turning of the little light you always had on to fall asleep.

“Sleep tight y/n” he softly whispers pulling your covers over you.

He walked back to your living room, getting comfortable on your couch, reaching for his phone to text Christian, knowing he would be stressed out of the rest of the night if he didn’t know how you were doing right now.

                                                     - time jump –

Dabin opened the door for Christian. He walked in with bags filled with take out.

Dabin rubbed his hands together taking the food from Christian. “Fooo-ooood” Dabin says overjoyed as he walks towards your kitchen immediately. Christian just chuckled, taking off his shoes.

He walked into your living room, feeling somewhat weird being here again. The last time he was here he didn’t make it past the hallway.

He sighs walking towards Dabin, sitting down on one of the high stools behind your breakfast bar.

“Is she still asleep?” he asks watching Dabin devour the food already.

“Yah-yah-yah! Chew before you swallow” Christian says throwing a napkin at Dabin’s face.

“I’m hangry leave me alone.” Dabin says catching the napkin to wipe his mouth.

Christian leaned back on the stool. “Is she?”

Dabin simply nods as he takes another bite of his burrito.

Christian got up “I’ll go check on her” he says walking towards your bedroom leaving Dabin alone with his food.

He opened the door slightly and put his head through, checking to see if you were still asleep, and you were.

He walked in, slowly closing the door behind him, sitting down on the bed beside you.

He smiled looking at your sleeping state. He sweetly put your hair out of your face and put some strands of hair behind your ear. Taking his hand down further to caress your back.

He suddenly felt your fingers intertwine with his other hand. And he looked down to see you looking at him.

Your sudden act of affection surprised him a little, but he understood. You were sorry for jumping to conclusions, no matter how fucked up the situation at hand is right now.

“Hey” he whispers softly squeezing your hand, lifting it up to kiss the back of your hand.

“Hi” you greet him back staring at him. Your voice was raspy and low from just waking up.

“Can I join?” he asked giving you a little smile.

You nod shyly and scooch over.

He quickly got under the covers with you, you lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arm around his waist. He also wrapped his arm around yours, running his fingers through your hair the way you like it, making sure to avoid the bump on the side of your head.

He kissed your forehead. Closing his eyes. This is the first peaceful moment in forever.

Christian sighs, opening his eyes again after a minute or two.

“How do we get back to where we were?” he asks, mostly to himself but also to you.

You open your eyes hugging him tighter, not wanting to return to reality where your relationship is still too difficult to comprehend.

“Baby steps” you say. “It’ll take time”

“Luckily we have plenty of time.” He says caressing your back again. “I promise I won’t be a fuck up anymore. But you have to promise me that if something happens, you have to give me a chance and let me explain.”

You nod against his chest. Closing your eyes again

                                                    - time jump –

A week has passed.

Today was the day that Yura would move out as promised. Christian and you have been slowly working on your relationship again, taking it day by day. You have talked some things through and you made it clear to him that mending your trust would take time. He has been amazing to you though. Always checking in on you and calling, bringing over food because he knew you’d be too busy to cook. You even started tagging each other in meme’s again. 

You had a mild concussion from your fall, and were able to go back to work after just a few days of bed rest. You ate and slept a lot through these days, trying to get yourself back to optimum health before you got back to work.

Dabin and Christian would take turns to check on you, the first day it was cute, but on the third and last day it started to get annoying how they wouldn’t leave you alone.  It felt like old times though. How you would just laugh and mess around with each other. You smiled to yourself, thinking back to last night when the three of you watched a horror movie together and how Ian and Dabin would jump, scream and hug each other out of fear. Pussy’s. 

You park your car and get out, closing the door. 

You arrived at the YG training center. Taking in a deep breath before you entered.

You decided to give Yura another chance. Feeling bad for her with everything that has been going on in her life. You enter the dance studio and see her sitting down, stretching, just like you always told her to do before practices. She looked at you surprised when you walked in. Standing up immediately.

“Oh…eonnie…What are you doing here?” she asks cautiously.

You place down your bag walking to the sound system to connect your phone to it.

“Sorry I’m late” is all you say.

She immediately got the hint. Her confused and cautious facial expression shifted to a slight smile.

“T-thank you eonnie, I’m really sorry about everything that happened, I never intended to come between the two of you and- “

you stop her from talking anymore. Not wanting to ruin your good mood.

“Let’s put that behind us. We both acted crazy.” You sitting down on the floor with her.

“Christian oppa was the only person willing to help me out. I would have asked you too but we weren’t exactly getting along well…”

“You know, I would have let you stay with me. Not out of pity, but because that would make me a lot more comfortable than knowing you were with him every single night.” You say honestly.

She blinks a few times at your words. “I did like him.” She suddenly says.

You look up at her, surprised at her confession. “You did?”

“The first night” she sighs “The first night I tried to come on to him but he declined me, telling me he was already seeing someone.” She says looking to the floor.

“Wait what?” you say trying to get her to tell you more.

“When Christian oppa told me he was seeing you, I was so sad. I immaturely put his clothes on when I came to the meeting, knowing you’d be there.” She says embarrassed looking to the floor.

You just stare at her. Unable to wrap your head around her words, you just burst out laughing.

She looks at you surprised and awkwardly laughs with you.

“I’m still…really sorry eonnie” she says.

“It’s okay. I know how easy it is to fall for him” you say stretching your legs. “Let’s begin okay?”

                                                   - time jump –

You drank some water and sat down on a bench looking at Yura lay on the floor spreading her arms and legs, panting out of exhaustion.

“You did well today” you say taking another sip before throwing the water bottle to her so she could have a sip.

She caught it with both hands, quickly drinking out of it as if she had been dehydrated for a couple of days.

“I tried extra hard today” she says getting up and stretching out.

“You better. I would have walked right out again if you didn’t” you say in your teacher like tone.

Your phone rang, it was Christian.

“Hey, where are you? I’m at your house but you’re nowhere to be found.” He says.

You quickly look at Yura who was on her own phone, probably going through social media.

“I’m at YG” you say

He didn’t respond.

“…Ian?” you ask.

“uhh why?” he eventually answered.

“I’m giving Yura another chance.” You say, hearing her name she looked up at you. Knowing who you were on the phone with she paid a little more attention.

“I figured that if I could give you another chance than I could give her one too.” You say pursing your lips together.

Yura smiled to herself at your words, and focused back on her phone again.

“Does…that mean…you’re back with DPR?” he asks cautiously.

You sigh. “Yes”

“Oh my god!” he nearly screams through the phone. Ecstatic and relieved.

You hold the phone a little further from your ear at his loud voice. “If that’s okay with you of course” you say teasing him a little.

“Of course it is. Without a doubt. No fucking question about it.”

You were happy that he was happy again. Things really were slowly getting back to normal, he might even still have a chance to direct her mv.

“I’ll be there in 10” he says hanging up.

You chuckle at your phone and put it down.

“Was that Christian oppa?” Yura asked getting up.

You just nod and give her a soft smile. “He’ll be here soon, If you freshen up we’ll give you a ride to your sisters place. “

She nods, taking her towel and her phone “Thanks eonnie” she says walking to the ladies’ room to change in clean non-sweat-drenched clothes.

You close your eyes, content with being alone in silence for a little bit. How did all of this happen in just 10 days. You feel like the past two weeks were just as long as two months.

After exactly 10 minutes Christian and Dabin walked in. You greet both of them with hugs and they sit down on the floor with you, waiting for Yura.

“This is literally the last place I expected to find you in” Dabin says scratching his head.

“I decided to be the bigger person” you say shrugging.

Christian just smiled at you, giving you a kiss on your cheek.

“Stop that shit, not in front of me.” Dabin says dramatically waving his hands around.

The both of you just chuckle, when finally Yura walks in. The look in her eyes alerted the three of you.

“We have a problem” she says in a panicked voice.

The three of you got up, walking over to her when she shows all of you an article on her phone.

“Former Kpop Idol and now director Christian Yu dating Kim Yura. YG’ Entertainments new gem.” you read out loud.

Christian’s eyes widened and so did Dabin’s. You swallow harshly. Oh fuck no.

“What the f-“ Christian says not finishing his sentence, taking Yura’s phone from her.

He clicked on the aticle to see what it says.

“Kim Yura was allegedly spotted going in and out of his house for 10 days in a row, confirming the fact that Kim Yura and Christian Yu, formerly known as Rome from C-Clown share an intimate relationship together.” He reads out loud.

He scrolled down. Looking at the “proof” seeing dispatch photos of the both of them outside of his house.

“This was today…when I helped her move her stuff to her sisters’ place.” he says still not believing his eyes.

Christian’s eyes dart to you, checking your facial expression. But your attention was diverted to Yura, who was now crying.

You rub her back trying to comfort her. “Oh my god if my manager sees this. If Yang Hyun Suk sajang-nim sees this!” she says choking up.

Dabin stood there awkwardly. Not knowing what to do given the fact he didn’t know Yura all too well.

“I’ll get you some water” he says escaping the scene.

Christian sat down on the bench. Looking at Yura crying on your shoulder.

This is literally the worst thing that could happen to a rookie idol. Dating scandals were awful to begin with, especially when they weren’t true, but try to explain that to the media and the public.

You felt bad for her, Christian wouldn’t suffer much damage from this, none at all actually. Maybe people in the industry would talk but he could simply clarify the situation to them. If anything this was publicity for him, but for her. Her whole world must be falling apart.

At that Dabin returns with a man behind him. He awkwardly stood behind Christian. Wrapping his arms around Christian’s neck, watching the scene unfold.

It was Lee Hyung Suk, Yura’s manager.

“I saw the article” he says dryly.

Yura looked to the floor facing him. “I-it’s not true”

“I DON’T CARE IF IT’S TRUE OR NOT. HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!?” He yelled at her.

She squinted her eyes closed, ready to take a verbal beating but you stepped in front of her.

“Hey, if you would have just arranged a place for her to live none of this would have happened.” You say angrily.

Dabin, Christian, Yura and her manager looked at you with a surprised expression on their faces.

Who would’ve thought you out of all people, would defend Kim Yura.

“Excuse me young lady?” he says looking you in the eye. He’s scary. Really scary. “We can just tell them the truth right? About her parents” You eventually say.

“Absolutely not. Having a rebellious daughter who disobeys the wishes of her parents is far worse than a dating scandal. We can make a better story out of this” he says as if it’s no big deal.

“A better story?” Christian asks getting up.

“Let’s just go with it for a while” Her manager says, looking at Christian.

“If we take this opportunity and mold it our own way we could take this ‘scandal’ and turn it into something worthwhile for the both of you”

Yura stayed quiet, quickly looking at you and Christian.

“Let’s just go with it.” Her manager says again.

Christian looked at him startled. “I don’t…” he starts. “If you don’t want to that’s fine also, but that means you’ll ruin her career before it has even begun.” Hyung Suk states crossing his arms.

“Oppa” Yura says. All of you look at her. “I know I have asked the world from you already. But if you do this for me, I promise I will never bother you again. I just really don’t know what to do anymore.” She says as tears fall down her face.

You take a step back, looking at Christian with burning eyes but he didn’t look back at you. Dabin looked at you knowing that if Christian agreed on doing this. Your heart would break, again.

He walked towards Yura, wiping her tears away.

“Stop crying.” He says letting go of her and looking at Lee Hyung Suk. “Well?” Hyung suk asks.

You close your eyes.

“Fine” Christian says “I’ll do it.”


Chapter 5 

anonymous asked:

Can you please do a blurb with Niall and his gf or girl he is seeing the morning after they were out and it's the first time anyone has found about them? (Kinda like Niall & Celine) and she's upset and how he reacts! Thank you xx

Slut.

Whore.

She’s not good enough for him.

What’s he see in her?  She’s not even that pretty.

I heard she’s a real bitch.  

She keeps trying to make them happen.  When will she accept that they aren’t going to happen?

Look at Niall’s face, he clearly doesn’t wanna be there.

Pfffft.  Don’t worry y’all.  This is clearly a PR stunt.  Niall’s new CD is coming out.  She’s nothing.

Thank God.  I never imagined Niall would choose someone like her.

Gross.

I wish I’d never looked at Instagram this morning.  I don’t know what on earth possessed my sister to post a picture of Niall and I kissing on her Instagram last night.  It was her engagement party, why she wanted the spotlight on anyone else but her was beyond me.  But there it was in screaming color.  Niall and I holding onto each other, almost fused to each other while we shared a quick, private kiss on the dance floor.  

The picture was nice actually.  An intimate moment I probably would have put in a frame and kept by my bed for those nights when he was gone.  But now?  I wanted that picture to disappear.  

Word travels fast.  And in the One Direction fandom, it travels at twice the speed of light.  My sister posted the picture seven hours ago and there were already 3,281 comments on it.  I didn’t realize people could even type that fast.  Some of these girls wrote entire dissertations on why it is I was completely wrong for the boy I’d been dating for the past seven months.  

Keep reading

You Got Out

Characters: Sam x oldest Winchester, Dean, John.

Words: 2500

[Light swearing]

A/N: I wrote this in one sitting. Crazy. Anyways, this idea was provided to me by a nonnie, so thanks for that. 

Also, if you want any music to listen to, here’s a song that I like to listen to while I write. It’s pretty much instrumental, but it gets me emotional anyways haha. You - Petit Biscuit.

Originally posted by hunterchesters

Your name: submit What is this?

The relief hit you like a truck. Or a train. Or whatever. It doesn’t matter.

The relief envelopes you like an emotional but warm blanket. It fills you up from inside. Radiates from you. Touches and colors your everything.

You lose your breath. The paper you’re holding onto is slightly trembling because you are.

This is it; the paper you’re holding onto. The sweet escape. Sam’s sweet escape. Sam’s safety reassured in printed words. The ticket to his new life. The ticket out of yours.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

yeah hey, hi. One of those people that refer to some shithead abusive male char 'you wretched disaster' and get abused on this site because I write them, but no one bothers to see me trying to make it an AU and try to write them attempting to right their wrongs and be a better person. No, they see the baddie and I'm attacked, I'm trying though because its different and I wanna change outcomes for the better. Would be nice not being lumped into one cata because we try something new for them.

I really don’t get why so many people feel attacked by basic fandom observations. We got at least 5 messages exactly like this with slightly different wording and it’s really funny to me. I’m not saying stop doing it or you’re a terrible awful person, I’m just of the opinion that keeping these things in mind via humor is a good way of realizing where you stand exactly (in the majority) and that while you can gush about your problematic fave for a variety of reasons, you should keep in mind that this stuff makes others (the minority) uncomfortable or puts them in harm’s way, and that they often get the short end of the stick for speaking up about it. Compromises can be achieved on behalf of those who favor “bad” characters so as to make everything as comfortable as possible for everyone. This is especially important in fandoms where a lot of kids take part.

By the way, this is also a note to myself, because I find darker characters compelling very easily. Publishing that previous anon was as much checking myself for this sort of behavior as it was reminding everyone else of it.

If you don’t wanna be “lumped in” with the Real Fandom Baddies, then don’t be. If you know you’re not among the people who just don’t care, and you really try to make things right as you say, then you have no reason to feel threatened by that post. Do your thing. Be critical. No one can stop you anyway. Godspeed.

Hey there, I really love your blog! Makes me smile whenever I read one (especially during a hard time like now, my dad’s passed away last week) Anyway, can I have a scenario where Sabo/Mihawk/Zoro/Law’s s/o is attacked and they rush in to save them, being like “don’t you touch my woman!”?        

A/N: I am so sorry about loss, I wish you the best. If you need someone to talk to, you can always message me! When I read your request, I wanted to do it right away, but it took a bit longer. I hope this puts a smile on your face. Thank you for requesting! (Also, humandrill are the monkeys on mihawks island + The zoro one is fictional, please don’t drink too much and especially don’t go someone alone while drunk! 🌺🌺🌺🌺 )

  



S/O is in danger and they come and save them

Sabo

“I hope she likes pineapples…”

The blonde man nervously went through his hair. He could practically hear koala laugh in his head, “You’re so whipped for her!” But it was true, he knew it. Sabo was completely wrapped around your little finger, just one glance from you or one smile and he turned into jelly. It was the first time he had ever felt like this, he never knew something like this even existed, but like his brown haired friend told him, “You’re in love with Y/N!”, and he was. Head over heels in love with you.

The revolutionary walks along the busy streets of the market, through the shouting voices of people trying to get him to buy their vegetables and turns around every two seconds, searching for you. You both had to get some fruits and vegetables, dragon insisted that you could go alone, but Sabo had thought of every excuse his brain could think of, only to come with you. He remembers perfectly how you had bitten your lip and stared at the ground, avoiding his gaze. He wishes he could have taken your chin in his hand, push your face up and kissed you right on your lips, like in those romantic movies you and koala always watched, but sadly, he couldn’t.

He plays with the pineapple in his left hand and frowns. He wanted to walk with you, but you were so stubborn.

“Sabo, I can walk alone.”, he remembers your sweet voice. “I’m not going to get attacked by someone while I buy tomatoes!” He still feels his heart beating faster at the thought of your laugh.

“Y/N… your leg is still injured from the training with Ivank-”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not strong enough to defend myself!”, you said. Your features turned softer. “If I see someone trying to kill me with a banana, I will call for you. I promise.” And so he had agreed to let you go alone. He had a bad feeling though, he couldn’t say why, but something just did not feel right in his heart.

“Handsome boy!”, an elderly woman called out to him. “This fruit will change your life! Come on, come on! Take one bite, you’ll love it!” Somehow, he got interested. He stopped at her basket and tasted fruits, fruits he never even heard of. The woman looked at him in such a friendly way, Sabo almost forget about his worries. But just almost.

He rummaged through his pocket, searching for the money to pay the woman with, when his ears caught your sweet voice, screaming out for him in pure horror. Instantly, he let go of everything and turned around, eyes searching for your familiar face. He couldn’t find you at first, there were too many people, too many voices. Heads were turning in every way, searching for the person who just screamed, making it harder for Sabo to find you.

Your scream echoed once again and this time Sabo knew where you were. He jumped over the heads of other people in a heartbeat, you the only on his mind. He didn’t even notice in which direction he was running. At the very end of the street, everything turned quiet. The street was almost empty and Sabo wondered, is this really where you were? Suddenly, your scream cut through the silence. Then, he saw you.

You stood in the very corner of the street, fruit baskets and their content swimming around your feet, eyes wide open in fear. In front of you were three men, all dressed in black, cornering you with no way out. “Y/N!”, the blonde man called.

“Sabo!”, you screamed back, feeling relief washing over you at his sight. You were just minding your own business, picking out the ripest fruit for your blond friend, when someone had grabbed your shoulder and pushed you against the shelves. All of the content toppled onto the ground, you turned around angrily, ready to tell the person off, when you turned around however, you saw three men, who were double the size of you.  Normally, you could have fought them, but not with your injured leg.

“If we bring her to the marines, we will get so much berry!”, one of them had said. They stared at you in such an animalistic way, you got sick. You had glanced around you, but no one else was close and all three of them easily block your way. So you had taken a deep breath and called out for one of your best friends; Sabo.


“Do not touch her.” Sabo said, voice trembling with anger. He had to get you out of there as quickly as he could. His hands suddenly started to burn, dangerous red flames erupted in between his fingers. “I’m warning you only once; let her go now or you will regret it. ”

“Isn’t that the Sabo kid? Today is our lucky day!”, the man on the very left said. “If we bring him to the marines too, we will drown in berry!”

“We will regret it?”, the man in the middle asked. He was the biggest one from the three, probably the leader. “I hate kids like you, we will show you, how much you will regret!”

The three men glared at the blonde boy, Sabo glared right back.

You blinked once, and then the whole corner erupted into a big fire. You gasped, about to hide somewhere, when a warm hand softly caught yours. Sabo was suddenly by your side and stared at you in between all those flames. You could hear the three men scream in fear, but neither of you cared.  “Can you wait two seconds for me, love?”

You nod once and he let go of your hand. You bend down and grab the food around your feet, trying your best to pull the baskets back up. You faintly register your opponents scream and sounds of faces meeting the wall, too busy to get the vegetables back into their basket. Suddenly, a cold hand grabs your arm. “There you are!”, one of the men screams into your face. “Now be a good girl and come with me!”

He starts to pull you towards him but you try your best to stay where you are. He suddenly grabs your shirt, pulls in such a brutal way, that the fabric tears. You kick him right in the face and clench your teeth at the pain that shoots through your leg.

“You little-”, the man screams and is about to hit you, when a hand grabs his tightly. “What-”

Sabo stands behind him, eyes as dark as the night from anger. He is breathing heavily, not because he’s exhausted, no, because he is trying his best to get his flames under control from his emotions. His voice is the biggest contrast to his flames, you have ever heard.

“Do not touch my woman.”

You gasp. In middle of this mess, you still feel your heart jump at his words.

Sabo grabs the head of the man and smashes it against the the wall next to you. He falls onto the floor and lays there, unconscious. Now you realize, that everything turned quiet and the flames start to disappear slowly. You’re about to stand up, when you register your shirt being completely ripped, exposing your skin in more ways you’re comfortable with. So you stay put on the ground, shamefully hugging your legs to your chest.


“Here,” Sabo whispers to you, voice back to normal. He sounds like the cute, kind and friendly blonde boy again. You look up to him and see his jacket in his hand, offering it to you. “Just wear this.”

You thank him quietly and glance at him in shame. He frowns at first, but understands. His back is turned to you, while you put his blue jacket on.

“Can you walk?”, he asks you softly. You glance down on your leg and nod, but the boy is already crouching down in front of you. You smile shyly and crawl onto his back.

He grabs your bag of vegetables with his one hand and holds your leg softly with his other. That’s how you both get back to Dragon and the others.

You can’t help but thank Sabo for three days straight, feeling bad that he had to come and save you, but he just smiles. When you leave again, Koala runs towards her blonde friend and smirks.

“Look at you smiling. What a hero you are. Now you just gotta confess!” He grins and turns around, yeah, he thinks. Now he just has to confess.

Mihawk

The faint smell of wet leaves surround your figure comfortably. Sighing, you hug your arms closer to your body and keep walking into the forest. You can’t help but kick a pinecone on your way, you never were the kind of person to be so dramatic, really. But today? Today was not your day.

For some reason, you had started a fight with your lover, Mihawk. You knew he hated unnecessary drama, you knew it, but yet you could not help yourself when you threw word after word at him.

You were being a pain in the ass, even yourself noticed that, but you didn’t stop. Mihawk had stood by the window, white shirt open and his typical neutral expression mustering you in silence. That made you even angrier, how dare he just stare at you in silence? The fight was rather one sided and at the end you just left with, “Alright then! I will leave!” And that’s what you did. Completely consumed by your own anger, you had left the castle and walked into the forest, without a jacket, without a light, without any weapon, but a head full with regrets.


You can hear an owl scream next to you, making you almost trip from surprise. “Stupid thing…”, you mumble, not knowing if you mean yourself or the animal.

The moon was giving you a bit of light, but the way in middle of the forest was still too dark to make something out. You couldn’t even see two metres in front of you. A sigh leaves your lips another time and you stop walking. The fresh air was giving you enough strenght to realize, you had to go back and apologize. You turn around and take one step. Suddenly, you feel something weird around you, so you squint your eyes in concentration and try to make out what it is, your blood freezing in your veins at the sight that confronts you.


A humandrill was standing in front of you, mustering you curiously. You swallow down a gasp and take a step back, only for you to trip over a root and fall down. The animal starts to come closer, you slowly crawling back on the ground with every step it takes.


Shit, you think. You didn’t even notice how far you were going and now you were already too far away from the castle, so far, the humandrill were slowly starting to surround you. Mihawk had warned you about them, even though they would never come too close to the castle. He still warned you about going too close to them. And look at you, running into the arms of the only thing that could potentionally hurt you on this island.


You notice more and more eyes appearing around you, making your own eyes water with fear. You could never, never fight one of them, let alone all of them together. Suddenly, the animal in front of you starts to make a loud noise and runs towards you, a sword raised high and aiming at you.


You shield your eyes with your arms and scream. You were so stupid, so freaking stupid!

You wait for the pain to shoot through your body. A tear escapes your eye, a sob following close by. Now you could never laugh with Perona over stupid things again, never smell the beautiful forest that was so scary but so interesting, and the worst, you could never see Mihawk again. Never lay in his arms again, never stare into the beautiful eyes of your lover again, simply because you were too stupid.


You wait and wait… and wait, but nothing happens. Instead, you hear not very human- like gasps surround you and screams of fear swimming in your ears. Your arms slowly lower, you peeking.


Instead of the animal, Mihawk stands in front of you, black sword raised in warning. You don’t see his face, but from the way he stands in front of you, he seems to be mad, furious even.

“Don’t touch my woman.”, he says lowly and even you feel the goosebumps spread on your body. The animal looks terrified, takes a few slow steps back and sprints into the darkness. You hear loud noises around you, a mess of heavy footsteps echoing around you.


Mihawk turns around and musters you shortly, then he crouches down. He puts an arm under your legs and the other one under your back, raising you up from the dirty ground into his warm chest.


“I’m sorry…”, you mumble and sniffle. He doesn’t say anything, instead, he pushes you closer towards him and walks the both of you back to the castle.

Mihawk only lets you down in your shared bedroom, where he takes your head in his hand and stares into your eyes for a long second. “The next time you want to run away, stay in the castle. It’s big enough and I will let you have your space if needed. I don’t want you to get hurt, not now and not later.” You nod shamefully and feel the tears burn in your eyes again.

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I don’t even know why I acted the way I did.”, you stare at the ground and lightly touch his hand on your face. “I’m really sorry.”

Your lover nods once and plants a soft kiss on your forehead. “Let’s sleep, my dear.”

Zoro

“What are you sayin’, ” Zoro mumbled, glancing at you. “I never drink too much, you can never drink too much! ”


The green haired man laughed wholeheartedly at his statement and threw an arm around you, spilling some of the content in his glass on the table. You sipped at your own glass of sake and rolled your eyes in amusement.


The strawhat crew had just arrived at your island, where they were only supposed to get some food and new medication. The local at the island, however, fell in love with them as soon as they sat a foot on their ground. The mayor of the island even invited them over and thus, a big, loud banquet happened. You had to be honest too; when you saw the crew for the first time, you were amazed. They looked so strong, so unique and so interesting. The swordsman with the green hair was your favourite; you were already swept away from your feet at first glance. Those muscles, that smirk and all in all… your ideal type.


You couldn’t help yourself and so, you had gotten some sake, sat down next to him and flirted as much as you possibly could. You were scared at first, but the more alcohol you drowned, the better it suddenly got. You weren’t so sure, but you guessed, the swordsman cared more about his drink than about you. At first, he didn’t really care about you at all, but you wouldn’t let that pass. You bugged more and more, trying to find out more and more about him. His name was Zoro and he liked to drink. You guessed, you were fine with those information for now.

The more time passed, the more you guys started to enjoy each others company. After a few hours, the sun started to set and a few minutes later, it got dark. The lights turned on, one by one, shining brightly into everyone’s happy face, laughing and drinking- celebrating the new build friendship.


After some time and a lot bottles alcohol, heads were thrown back in laughter, bodys were pressed against each other and cheeks were burning red; either from the alcohol or from the person next to you.


“I think I’ll get something to drink for us.” You say and stare at your empty glass. Zoro nods and stares at his own almost empty one. Then, he smirks at you.

“You know how to make me happy.”, he slurs and you giggle. You stand up, your head suddenly spinning at the alcohol in your veins. “Are you okay? Sure you can go alone?”, he asks again and laughs. You nod heavily.

“Of course!”, you call out, louder than expected and leave the table. Your vision turns a bit blurry and you’re not sure if you’re really walking towards the bar, but your feet can’t stop anymore. You keep walking and after some time, you’re standing in between bushes, no orientation to where you are.

“Oh no,” you mumble to yourself and try to turn around, when a hand on your shoulder stops you. Your drunk mind barely registers the strong smell of liquid, stronger than everyone’s you have met so far, hitting you, so you curiously turn around and muster the person behind you.

In front of you stands an elder man, smiling wickedly at your face. His face is covered in dirt and you can see boughs sticking out from his messy hair, making you frown. You should probably leave…

“Do you want to come with me, cutie?”, he asks and takes a step closer. His breath hits you face and you can’t help but groan in displeasure. You wanted to leave. Now. “I have a nice and cozy place, just for the both of us.”

“No, I don’t think so.”, you say and try to go back to the others, when he grabs your arm roughly, shoving you against a tree. You notice his pupils grow and gulp nervously.


“Really? That’s too sad.”, the man whispers and comes closer, almost touching your cheek with his nose. “You’re so beautiful.”

You take a deep breath and kick with your foot, almost hitting the man between his legs. He jumps back fast enough and glares at you in anger. You take the chance and turn around, about to run, when you crash into something hard.

You look up and stare into the eye of the green haired swordman; Zoro.

“Y/N, stand behind me.” You do as told and hide behind your previous drinking partner.

“Oi, grandfather, ” he says and pulls his Shusui visibly out of its hiding, making it gleam dangerously at the pervert. “I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”

“N-no, no! I would never, I-”, the man almost shouts, taking a few steps back. He looks mortified.

But Zoro already took two steps towards him, aiming his sword directly at the face of the old man. “Touch my woman one more time and it will be the last thing you will be touching, ” He glares at the man, making him visibly shiver at his next word. “ever.”

“I’m so sorry!”, the man calls out and runs into the opposite direction, tripping once, leaving you and Zoro alone. You stare at his back for a few seconds, too shocked to proceed what just happened.

“I- thank you…”, the adrenalin completely consumed the alcohol in your body, so much, you were sober again, like a cold splash of water hitting your face.

Zoro lazily turns around and musters you, “No problem. Are you hurt?” You shake your head. “Let’s go back then, I’m getting hungry. ”

The swordsman seems to be not affected by the alcohol at all, simply throws an arm around you and walks back to your table. On your way back, you can’t help but cling a bit to him, feeling safer than you have ever felt in his company.

“How did you even know where I was?”, you ask after a few minutes, now staring at your filled glass of ice cold water on the table, something you should have considered before.

“Hm?”, Zoro asks confused. He scratches his head for a second and shrugs. “I actually wanted to go to the toilet, but somehow I ended up where you were.”

You nod and smile shyly. “I’m glad you  came.”

To your surprise, the swordsman leans down and stares into your eyes, making your heart jump at the closeness.

“I’m glad, too.”

Law

The wind blew through your hair, blocking your vision for a short time. You pay no mind to it and stare at your opponent two meters away from you. The pirate stares right back at you, the tension between you both at maximum.

“Unbelievable how someone as pretty as you is in that filthy crew with that filthy captain.” The man spits out, staring at you like you were something unworthy, like he was above you. “I will give you one last chance; join my crew or die here.”

You laugh dryly at the man’s statement. “You’re the only filthy person here. I will not join you, nor will I die.”

The pirate glares at you and shouts angrily, making the birds on the tree next to you fly away in fear. But you don’t care, instead, you start running towards him. He starts running too,  sword raised high. You both clash together, shouting in adrenaline. He tries his best to catch you with his sword, but you’re too fast; he can’t see you and then you’re behind him, kicking the side of his head so hard, he flies off to the side, crashing into several trees.

A huge cloud of dust erupts around you both, making it harder for you to see.

A few seconds pass, where you’re basically blind, you try your best to scan your surroundings, when you hear footsteps behind you. You turn around smoothly and raise your foot again, about to kick another time- with haki this time, when you stare into your favorite polar bear’s face.

“There you are! Captain will kill you, Y/N!” Bepo screams and pulls your arm, trying his best to get you back to the submarine.

Your crew had stopped at this island a few days ago and today was the day, where you were supposed to leave again, but you had other things in your mind. On your first day, you had noticed other pirates, who were not very fond of your arrival. They had tried to stare you down, made provocative comments and even insulted your captain, your captain! You were furious. On your first day, you were already ready to fight them, but Law had held you back. “They’re just some newbies, we’re not here to fight.” He had said, making you nod. Law was right. But, to your utter disappointment, they didn’t stop. Instead, it got even worse. On one day, your favorite bar on the island got destroyed and no one knew who it was- but you did. You knew it. It couldn’t have been someone else.

“Y/N, we will leave today, let it slide. We are only here to get medicine, not fight.” He had reminded you again, but you were burning with rage. How could you just leave! It would put shame on your crews name, and especially, on your captain. You couldn’t just leave, not today. So you sneaked out as soon as you saw Law being busy, running as fast as you could and confronted the pirates.

Here you were now, on some grass- field, in middle of a fight between the captain and you.

Bepo pulled harder, but you just shook your head. “No, I have to! Bepo, let go!”

“No! This is ridiculous! C'mon now!”, the bear frowned at you. “Or at least let me help!”

“Listen,” you were starting to get annoyed, grabbing onto you own head in irritation. “I can do it alone, I’m strong enough.” But the bear was too stubborn.

“Y/N, if you don’t let me help, I will call for-” Suddenly, the bear let go of you, eyes growing twice the size. “Behind you!”

You turned around, but it was already too late. Your opponent was running towards you in full speed, face dirty from the earlier contact with the ground. His sword was raised high, cutting the skin of your arm in one swift motion.

You hissed and jumped back, making sure to push Bepo away from the man. Blood was slowly dripping out of your arm, only a bit at first, but the more time passed, the more blood rushed out. “Y/N!” You heard the bear scream.

You have no time to cover your injury, because the pirate already aims for the second hit. You jump away, land behind him and turn around. He is slower than you, so you raise your foot in anger and kick, but instead of hitting your opponent, you hit the air five meters away from you.

“Room.”

You almost lose your balance and hold onto the tree next to you. “Law!”, you scream angrily.

Your dark haired lover stands where you stood a second ago and cuts with his sword through the body of your previous opponent. “Shambles.” You hear him mumble and then the body of the man turns into three separate parts.

“What-”, the man screams and stares at his legs flying away right in front of his eyes. “My body!”

Law smirks devilish and takes a step towards the head laying on the ground. He crouches down, still smirking, and grabs the head with his right head. “Don’t touch my woman ever again.” Then he throws the head back and walks towards you. You can hear Bepo cheering loudly in the background, but you’re too mad.

“That was my fight, Law! You’re so mean!”, you cross your arms in front of your chest and try your best to hide your injury, but the doctor already pulls your arm towards him, scanning the skin concentrated.

“Just one time.”, he mumbles. “Listen to me one fucking time.” You can hear how mad he is, but at the same time, you find a bit of amusement in his voice.

“I could have won, but Bepo was in the way!” You defend yourself angrily, earning a loud ‘hey!’ next to you. “The guy called you filthy!”

“Do I look like I care if he calls me filthy? His strength is as high as your level of listening to your captain; not fucking
existing.” Law says and lets your arm go. “You’ll be needing stitches.” He nods towards your arm.

You huff in annoyance and turn around, sassily walking back to the ship. “I told you!”, Bepo calls out laughing, falling silent at the cold glance you give him. “I’m sorry.”

Law slowly walks back behind the two of you, pulling his hat down to shield his smile. They were calling him stupid names, that’s why you fought them. He knew you could kick their asses if you wanted to, but you were his woman after all. As long as he was there, you had no reason to fight.

Deep down, the doctor was relieved that he had someone like you close to him; someone that had his back. Always.