it’s lily. yeah, i know i’ve been hella absent. oops.
okay so i figured that i’d make this for the sole reason that like, aesthetic tumblr-ness is all very well and good. but it ain’t working for everyone. including me. and yeah, i know that this has 100% been done before, but i’m doing it again, and who knows? maybe you’ll learn something new. let’s do this, fam.
1. find what works for you. and hey, if that means Colour Coded Notes and Aesthetic and Bomb Lighting, then go for it. whatever works. but if that means sitting up in bed dressed in a fucking onesie drinking milk out of the carton and having a mild Stress Crisis while you’re surrounded by pages of your scribbly handwriting in cheap black biro that’s Somehow Managed To Smudge Itself All Over The Goddamn Page, so be it. this leads me into my next point:
2. when and how do you study best? are you an early bird or a night owl? do you work better in the morning or in the evening? also: what kind of clothes do you wear? pjs or trackie dacks and a huge jumper vs actual clothes that you could go out in? what kind of learner are you? visual? auditory? verbal? kinetic? hint for my fellow visual learners out there: whiteboards + flash cards + whiteboard markers for drawing up connections is the best thing since sliced bread, especially for science. but something else that’s fucking important to figure out: do you work best in random spurts or steadily? for other people like me who can’t get their lives organised and instead work when the urge hits them, i advise you that when you feel even slightly productive, or able to work, sit yo fucking ass down and work. just do it. because otherwise you won’t get anything done. if you can organise a time to work each day, then you’re doing great already and i am Highly Shook. you guys are fucking cool.
3. relationships and feelings suck. i get it. sometimes, you just catch Unwanted Feelings and there’s nothing you can do about it. please remember that it’s okay to tell them, and it’s okay to not. they’re your Unwanted Feelings, to tell or not tell whoever you wish. OBVIOUS LIFE HINT: don’t tell secrets to people that you know aren’t very good at keeping their mouths shut. it’s a recipe for disaster. also!!! don’t every blame yourself for catching Feelings. it’s not your fault - as someone once said, the heart wants what it wants. also guys, you’re in high school. you have a fuck ton of hormones going batshit crazy - this means that things probably will change as you get older, but on the same note, don’t let anyone make you feel like your Feelings are invalid. as for relationships lmao sorry can’t help you there i’m as single as a pringle that was never put into a box. but look. people are dicks. it’s human nature, and i guess the only thing i got to say is that time heals all wounds. it’ll get better, i promise, even if it takes a very very long time. and guys - if you’re in a relationship that’s hurting you, leave. nobody has the right to treat you like shit.
4. that goes for friendships too!! if you have a friend who you just don’t get along with, or makes you feel bad about yourself, or whatever. if you’re in a toxic friendship, stop talking to them. please. and if you can’t get away from them, talk to someone - a teacher, a parent, another friend, anyone. people aren’t as scary as they seem, and lots of people are willing to help, if you just ask. fuck, come talk to me and i’ll help you draft a Plan Of Attack. our inbox is always always always open and we don’t bite. i mean. we might bite the person who’s treating you like shit. depends. but please also think about it carefully? do you really want them out of your life if it’s just a spat? sometimes a simple apology without an explanation is the best thing, to just fucking move on and forgive each other.
5. finding out who you are isn’t a one time thing, it’s a journey. i feel like this is kinda obvious, but because there are people out there who convince people that this is wrong, i’m gonna say it. discovering your sexuality/gender identity/anything else is not always a sudden moment of realisation. sometimes, it’s a long journey of self-discovery. if you’re worried because you’re thinking “oh my god, maybe i’m not ____” just…shh. shhh. it’s okay. lots of people are discovering who they are, their sexuality, their gender identity. and it’s okay to identify with something and then discover that you’re not that thing. it’s not pretending, it’s not being fake, it’s just you on a path of self-discovery. and if anyone tries to fuck with you because of your gender/sexuality, they about to catch these bi-as-fuck hands, boi.
6. self care is important but that doesn’t always mean soaking in a bath on the weekends or buying cute pens and books - side note: retail therapy is fucking awesome. if self care means not doing any homework for a whole day and just lounging around on the couch petting your pet and drinking unreasonable amounts of orange juice, fucking do it. if self care means spending a whole day on youtube watching crack videos and rip vine compilations (i love that shit istg), do it. just do whatever you need to do to feel better - but try to steer clear of illegal shit, yeah?
7. but sometimes, we just don’t have time for self care. and that’s okay too. if you gotta pull a few all-nighters to study for exams or skip sports or whatever, it’s okay. don’t sweat it. if you gotta lie to someone because you’re terrified of losing marks, just chill out a bit. i stand by the saying that whatever my teachers/parents/coaches don’t know isn’t gonna hurt them. if they think you’re sick and you’re actually busting a lung studying for a test, it’s okay as long as they don’t find out. try not to make it a habit, obviously, but just once isn’t gonna kill you or them. on that note, it’s best not to do this too much because it can get tricky remembering what lies you’ve told which people. keep it to one or two and you’ll be fine. example: i skipped my dance class two weeks before a competition to study for a science test. i told them i had gastro (which is a great excuse, btw, it’s hella contagious and you can get over it quickly and nobody wants diarrhoea) and then when they asked me the following week how i was feeling, did i tell them “fine”? no. i told them i was feeling better. you gotta keep up pretences.
8. high school is a time to learn. sure, your marks aren’t gonna be the end of the world, but like…don’t…not try, either? it’s okay to get stressed, it’s okay to worry about school. and like i said in point 7, it’s okay to sometimes prioritise school over everything else. it’s also okay to prioritise your health, be it mental or otherwise, over school and whatever else. please don’t drive yourself into a bad place because you’re worrying about school. just…do whatever makes you be the best person you can be. in short, you do what’s best for you and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
9. gather information. figure out which teachers you can fuck around with, and which teachers it’s best to keep your head down with. which classes you’re gonna have to work harder in to keep your grades where you want them to be, and which classes you can worry a little less about.
10. don’t be a piece of shit. don’t be horrible to other people, don’t be horrible to your teachers (god knows they go through enough without you picking on them as well, i know this for a fact because i am related to a teacher), don’t bully people, use your fucking common sense. high school can be an emotional roller coaster as it is, and if you decide to make some poor person’s life hell, then you suck and i hate you. sort yourself out. stop. apologise. figure out why you’re being a horrible person and sort it out. i ain’t got any time or patience for people like you. unless you’re actively trying to fix it, in which case i have a bit more time and patience and i’m willing to help. people can change. i believe that.
so, in summary, high school can suck, but you gotta make the best of it because you will miss it, i’ve still got a term to go and i’m getting nostalgic already (side note: i live in australia, our years are a bit different, 7-10 is high school and 11-12 is college, then we go to uni). do what you want, try not to stress too much, you can deal with feelings, don’t be a horrible person and just try to enjoy it. you are a wonderful, amazing, unique person and don’t ever forget that - you can do it, whatever it may be. smile, and don’t ever be afraid to try something new or take a risk. life is short, high school is shorter, and don’t sweat the small shit.
keep your chins up and hustle hard, my chickens 💚💚