why is he staring at me

“Prom was invented just to make girls starve so they can fit in a dress and compete over a stupid title.”

“Uh –” Derek blinks, eyes his sister dubiously, “I’m not a girl?”

Cora huffs. “Whatever.”

In the kitchen Laura bursts out laughing. “Don’t worry.” She yells. “Cora is just jealous she will have to wait five years to go to her own prom.”

“I’m not going!” Cora yells back. “Prom is stupid, I don’t even know why you’re going,” she tells Derek, “it’s not like you know how to have fun.”

Derek raises an eyebrow while Laura just laughs harder. “Oh my god.” Their older sister says. “I stay away for six months and Cora turns into a sassy queen.” She walks into the living room, pretends to wipe at her eyes. “I’m so proud.”

“You two are ridiculous.” Derek says, turning around. “And I’m just going because Erica promised to pay me. With ice cream.” Then he gives Cora a wicked smile. “That I’m not going to share with either of you.”

“You are the worst brother!” Cora yells as he begins to climb the stairs. “And I hope you fall on your ass while trying to dance!”

“Can’t hear you!” Derek’s cell begins to ring. “Too busy getting ready to prom!”

Laura lets out a high-pitched laughter. “I love you two so much.”

Derek shakes his head fondly, closes his bedroom door behind himself just as Cora tells Laura to shut up. “Hey.” He answers the phone, collapsing on his bed. “What’s up?”

“Yo,” Stiles answers, “whatcha doing?”

“Listening to my sisters fight.” He says, snorting when he hears his dad start complaining about all the yelling and ‘no, Cora, I’m not letting you go to prom, you’re thirteen!’. “I’m gonna have to check the trunk of my car tomorrow night.”

Stiles laughs. “She’s not that good.”

“If you keep teaching her, she will be.” Derek blurts out, curses himself mentally when he realizes it came out harsher than he intended.

It’s just – sometimes he can’t help it. He’s known Stiles since they were four, Cora wasn’t even born then, but one day she turned eleven and Stiles became her new favorite person. Stiles couldn’t find it funnier and took Cora as his little apprentice. He even taught her how to cheat on Mario Kart.

He’s never taught Derek that.

Derek rolls his eyes, thinks about his little sister still downstairs pouting and trying to convince their dad that she’s old enough to go out. He shouldn’t be jealous of her, but the thing is – he grew up with two sisters, he knows how to share toys and food, but he doesn’t know how to share Stiles.

Because Stiles is his.

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The First Time With Jeon Jungkook

Originally posted by syeons

Genre: romance/fluff
Pairing: Jungkook/You
Length: 12203 words
Summary: This a series based on all of your first times with Jungkook from your childhood till when you both reach adult hood.

PART 1 PART 2 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 /PART 6


THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED

“You tell me Y/N, do you want this?” he brushes his thumb over your cheek “Do you want to kiss me?”

Before you could ever give your response to him, reality hits the shameless boy like a train. What was he thinking when he asked you such a question? His sudden tendency to take your feelings for granted by working his moves on you, wasn’t how he ever wanted it to be. He was curious and quite greedy about having the chance to win your first kiss. Was it still like a competition for him? Was he toying with you or was he being serious?

Jungkook was your best friend and his intentions were never ill to begin with. You knew from day one, when he held your hand and decided to be your friend back then in kindergarten, that he was anything but harmful. You were well aware of the fact that he could be trusted, and all these years of friendship proved that he was a keeper. Maybe you could trust him? But what would it change? Only jungkook had the answers and decisions to take in this very moment, yet he suddenly stepped away from you

What am I doing, right now? Jungkook would suddenly ask himself as he eyed your lips up-close for the first time in his life

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Full Bloom

There was a slam from behind him as Bucky kicked the door shut with all the might his ten-year-old body could muster, and then the sounds of distant yelling from inside the room he’d just stormed from.

He didn’t care. The people his mom had taken him around to visit were assholes. He just felt bad for leaving Stevie in there to fend for himself- although to be honest, he was probably just having to be held back by Mrs Rogers as he made a desperate attempt to smash their kneecaps in.

Bucky growled at nothing, kicking a nearby rock as he marched through the unknown village. The place they were in was foreign to him; the rich side of town where Bucky rarely even heard about, let alone visited. Only reason he’d been dragged along in the first place was because of the new job his and Steve’s mom had both been offered, and their potential new bosses had wanted to meet for dinner to discuss ‘arrangements’, whatever that meant.

They probably didn’t want to discuss anything now- not after the way Bucky had reacted. 

Which was great. Meant his mom had lost the job offer. Again.

And Bucky had tried, he really had- best behaviour and everything that his mom had asked him to- he knew that this was important to her. And Sarah. Probably more so to her; she and Stevie struggled to put food on the table as it was.


And he’d ruined everything.


Sniffing and adamantly refusing to cry, he kept marching, unsure of where he was going, but uncaring too. He just needed to… to find somewhere quiet. 

He’d be in so much trouble when his momma got hold of him.


It was only a few minutes later when he came back to himself, realising that he’d somehow managed to wander into a field, filled with pretty flowers and lovely green grass. It was surrounded by trees perfect for climbing, and the sun shone on it in a way that made it all glow.

Not that Bucky cared. Right now, he just needed a place to sit and be grumpy.

Throwing himself forward, he fell to his ass with an angry little growl and tucked his knees up against his chest, staring moodily ahead of him. There were little flowers dotted around the grass, and he picked at them absently, ripping their petals off and then letting them flutter to the ground or float away in the light breeze.


“Hey! Don’t do that, what did the flowers ever do to you?”


Bucky jerked and turned around immediately, eyes wide and searching for the owner of the voice. He definitely hadn’t expected to be found in a place like this- not so soon anyway.

Ahead of him, there was a skinny little boy, his warm brown eyes as big as saucers as he stared down at Bucky and the angry look that was still etched on his face. The boy was dressed in clothes that probably cost more than the contents of Bucky’s entire room, but there was grass stains and muddy patches all over them. His curly hair was falling into his eyes a little, but he quickly brushed it out when he saw Bucky looking; probably out of habit.

“Those… those flowers are pretty. Don’t ruin them,” the boy said weakly, apparently losing his confidence as he saw Bucky’s grumpy look.

He probably did look quite scary- a boy already tall for his age, in the wrong part of town and picking apart flowers in this fancy field whilst wearing a look of absolute thunder on his face. No wonder the newcomer was looking a little shifty.

He made an effort to smooth out his face a little, but he doubted it did much. “Sorry,” he said gruffly, shrugging his shoulders, “I’ll find somewhere else, I didn’t know you were here-“

“No, I didn’t mean you had to leave,” the boy said hurriedly, taking a brave step forward, “I just heard you storming in, and wanted to see who you were. That’s all. And there’s better ways to make use of the flowers than to rip them up, you know.”

Bucky looked at him quizzically, and then his eyes drifted down to the little chain of colourful flowers the other boy was gripping in his hand. Apparently losing all confidence again when he caught Bucky staring, his eyes widened and he hid the offending object behind his back, taking a little step back once again. It was like he was dancing, he moved that much.

“They’re just flowers, it’s not a crime, boys can like flowers too you know, I don’t- don’t beat me up,” he stumbled, holding his chin high in defiance but failing to hide the panic in his eyes as he took another step back.

Bucky furrowed his brow in confusion. Why the hell would he think he was gonna get beat up? Bucky didn’t hurt anyone- not unless they started it first, anyway.

“I’m not gonna beat you up,” he declared, shaking his head, “and I know it’s okay for boys to like flowers. I was just angry, and I wanted to fiddle with somethin’. Sorry if I hurt them,” he said, biting his lip.

He didn’t want this boy to think he was mean. Even if he probably looked pretty mean right now- Bucky didn’t want him to be scared. He looked as if he was scared quite a lot, actually.

There was silence, as the boy ran another hand through his hair and bounced on the balls of his feet. He was keeping his eyes fixed on his floor, and Bucky was just about to get up and say he was leaving when the boy suddenly spoke up again.

“I come out to this field when I get upset, like you. But… uh, I use the flowers too. I just mess with them in different ways,” he said, like that was supposed to explain something.

Bucky looked at him in confusion, and after a few seconds the boy’s hand was slowly removed from behind his back, revealing the pretty chain of flowers again. “Have you ever made a daisy chain before?” he asked tentatively.
Bucky shook his head, wondering where the boy was heading.

“Okay. Do you want to learn?”

He was being looked at almost fiercely, and the boy’s knees were crouched a little, like he was preparing to run at a moment’s notice. It made Bucky frown again, because why the heck did this person seem so convinced Bucky was going to try and hurt him?

“Yeah. Okay. I’d… I’d like that,” Bucky answered, trying to smile a little, despite his foul mood.

The boy’s eyes widened, like that had not been the answer he was expecting. Bucky noted that he had very nice eyes. And hair. In fact, he was even prettier than Dorothy- the girl who sat in front of him at school. Everyone loved her- but she didn’t share a patch on the boy stood in front of him right now.

“I’m Tony,” he stated, finally stepping forward and holding out his hand.

“Bucky- nice to meet you.”

“Come with me,” Tony said, pulling on Bucky’s hand and leading them to the left, where the trees met field, “I know a place full of so many flowers you won’t even know what to do with them all.”




“So why were you angry?” Tony asked, his knee knocking against Bucky’s as he carefully wove a tiny little stem through the gap in another.

Bucky paused, face clouding over. He put his chain down carefully, in case he ripped it in his frustration. “Mine and Steve’s momma met their new bosses, and they’re really stupid.”

“What did they do?” Tony asked, “did they not know how to count to ten?”

“No, not that kinda stupid,” Bucky waved him off, “they were just mean. And wrong. There was an advert on the TV and it had two boys in it and they said that it was disgusting but it isn’t disgusting. I like boys. I know I’m not disgusting. An’ I told ‘em that much myself, ‘cuz I ain’t afraid of no dumb adults,” Bucky said defiantly, hands fisting against his legs as he thought back to their gross faces.

Tony was staring at him, and Bucky realised that maybe Tony thought he was disgusting, too, so he jumped to his feet angrily. “If you don’t like it either, you can take your flower crown and scram, ‘cuz you’re just stupid too-“

“No!” Tony raised his hands, eyes wide as he looked up at Bucky, “No, I don’t think it’s disgusting. I just think you’re… you’re really brave. I could never do that to adults. I tried to do it once, when my dad called me an idiot, but then he just hit me and so I didn’t do it again,” he said, looking at the floor again like he was… like he was embarrassed or something.

Bucky frowned again, confused. Why would his dad have hit him? Weren’t parents supposed to keep you safe from being hit, not be the ones to do it in the first place? 

That being said, Bucky had noticed the angry red mark that was cutting through Tony’s cheek, and wondered if that was the reason he was in this field in the first place. And if it was his own dad that was doing that, it made everything even worse.

“I’ll beat him up if you want,” Bucky said, sitting down again so that his leg was pressed up against Tony’s. “Like I said- I’m not scared of no adults.”

Tony’s eyes were wide, and he was staring at Bucky like he was his guardian angel or something. Bucky liked Tony looking at him like that; it made him feel all fluttery inside. “You’d really do that? For me?”

“Yeah,” Bucky nodded his head adamantly, “definitely.”

Tony smiled, but then shook his head and sighed. “No. Dad’s strong, and even if you’re strong too, he’s big. I don’t want him to hurt you too. That’s why I come out here. I like flowers. They’re pretty. And dad can’t yell at me when I’m here.”
There was a short pause, and then Tony’s eyes widened as he turned to face Bucky. “You can’t tell anyone you saw me here, okay? If dad finds out I like flowers he’ll call me stuff and hit me and stop me coming, and I really like it here, so you can’t, okay, you can’t-“

“I ain’t telling your dad shit,” Bucky told him, liking how the curse word sounded on his tongue. He wasn’t sure what it meant, but he’d heard someone yell it on the street, and thought it would be a good thing to use here. “I like flowers too. And you. I wouldn’t tell him anything that might hurt either of ‘em.”

Tony relaxed a little, and nodded gratefully. “Thank you. And by the way, I definitely don’t think it’s disgusting. I like boys too- more than I like girls. But I just don’t tell anyone because I don’t want people at school or home to beat me up more,” he admitted, worrying at his lower lip and avoiding Bucky’s eyes again.

“But… why are you telling me then?” He asked.

Tony looked at him, and then shrugged, his cheeks beginning to turn pink. 

“’Cause you’re my friend. Right? And friends can tell each other secrets.”

Bucky thought about every secret of Steve’s he had kept, and then nodded his head. “Definitely.”

“Good,“ Tony broke off, finally finished with the little chain of daises he’d been making through the conversation. He raised it up and smiled at his work, before shuffling forward a little and carefully placing it around Bucky’s neck. “It suits you,” he said quietly, and Bucky thought the blush that was spreading through his cheeks again was very pretty.

Bucky nodded looking down at the chain around his neck and smiling. “You can wear mine when I’ve finished- it won’t be as good though, ‘cuz you’ve been doing it longer and I’m still learning-“

“I think it’s great anyway,” Tony assured him, picking up the half-finished masterpiece, which was a little uneven and splayed. But Tony was practically beaming at it, and it made Bucky feel lovely and special.


“BUCK! BUCKY! YOU HERE?” A loud voice interrupted, and both of them jerked, Tony’s eyes flashing with panic as he dropped the chain and turned. Bucky made note that he didn’t like loud voices.

Quickly grabbing his hand, he caught Tony’s attention. “Hey- don’t worry, that’s just my friend. He’s called Steve, and I’ve been gone a while, so everyone’s probably worried. And mad. But not at you,” Bucky explained hurriedly. “Do you wanna go, or do you wanna meet him?”

Tony paused, before looking across at the boy who was even tinier than him, shock of blonde hair falling over his face as he stumbled through the long grass and searched for his friend. “I’ll stay.”

“Good, because he’s great- you’ll love him,” Bucky grinned, before pulling them both up and waving. “STEVIE!”

Steve turned, eyes locking on to both of them immediately. He frowned a little at the sight of Tony, but it was gone in a second and replaced with a friendly smile. “WE’VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU, IDIOT,” he yelled across the field, beginning to jog across until he had caught up with them. “Your mom’s gonna give you an earful when you get back, you know?”

Bucky grimaced. “Yeah, I know I was stupid- I ruined their jobs-“

“No no, they don’t care about that. The people were assholes, they turned down the offer as soon as you slammed out of the door,” Steve explained, “your mom’s mad because you just wandered off for two and a half hours in a place you don’t know. Idiot.”

“I had Tony,” Bucky said defensively, “we made flower crowns. And now we’re friends and he’s gonna hang out with us, okay? He needs to teach you how to make flower chains- he’s awesome at them,” Bucky explained, squeezing Tony’s hand and smiling, gesturing proudly to the chain around his head.

Steve stared at it for a few seconds, and Tony was all jittery again, but then Steve just smiled in wonder and stepped forward, examining the work around Bucky’s neck. “That’s so cool! Can you make me one?” He asked, eyes wide.

Tony practically beamed, and nodded his head happily. 

“But I get to make Tony’s,” Bucky added quickly, shooting Steve a look. 

“Why can’t I make one for him too?” Steve asked, frowning.

“’Cuz I’ve known him longer and I asked first,” Bucky replied.

Tony giggled a little, and Bucky’s stomach went all fluttery again. “You can… if you want, you can both make me one?”

Steve opened his mouth to reply, but upon seeing the desperate looks Bucky was throwing his way, he slowly shut it again, comprehension dawning on his face. “Oh. I didn’t realise… uh, you know what, Tony, I think I’ll leave it to Bucky. He’s better at them than me, and he did ask first.”

Tony just shrugged, and then smiled at Bucky again. They were still holding hands. “Okay.”

“Uh, Buck- I hate to break this up, but if I don’t come back with you soon, I think your mom’s gonna call for a search party,” Steve said sheepishly, interrupting their moment and rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 

Bucky sighed grumpily, but nodded his head. “Yeah yeah, whatever. Tony, do… do you want to come ‘round to my house sometime? Steve will probably be there, and there’s a nice meadow behind our garden. You can teach us how to make even cooler chains than before, and… and I’ll be able to make you one all on my own?” Bucky asked it like a question, and looked stubbornly at his shuffling feet as Tony’s hand squeezed around his own.

“I’d like that, yeah,” Tony said softly, prompting another beam from Bucky.

“Cool! I’ll… I’ll meet you here at the same time tomorrow, and we’ll walk down, okay? Sound good?”

Tony nodded happily, a little stunned expression on his face as his gaze jolted from person to person, as if he expected the joke to be revealed.

Bucky squeezed his hand a little tighter and then let go, the great big grin still on his face. Bad moods seemed impossible now. “I’ll come find you tomorrow then, Tony,” he called out behind him, walking up to Steve and then making their way toward the roadside.

There was a pause, and then the sound of hurrying footsteps prompted Bucky to turn around again. He only had a chance to look at Tony in surprise for a second, before suddenly the smaller boy had leaned up and planted a kiss on his cheek. 

It lasted 0.3 seconds and the butterflies that Bucky had been feeling all afternoon suddenly exploded in his tummy, lighting up his face bright pink and turning his knees to jelly. He felt like his heart was doing somersaults as he watched Tony lean back down again, covered in a pretty blush of his own, and then turn tail and run back through the grass, waving behind him as he went.

Bucky stood there, stunned, until Steve suddenly burst out laughing and elbowed him in the ribs. “Bucky and Tony, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-“
“Shuddup,” Bucky said gruffly, unable to take the smile off his face as he shoved Steve gently.


Steve continued to giggle all the way home, but Bucky didn’t even care. He was going to look up how to make the best flower-crowns that night, so that he would be able to impress Tony when they next met tomorrow.

“I think he’s gonna be real good, Buck,” Steve said, suddenly solemn, as he nodded his head pensively.

“I know he is,” Bucky agreed, head still tilted in the direction the other boy had run.


He was gonna make the best flower crown for Tony. Just you watch.

Got7: when you have a collection of their memes

Jaebum:  is highly impressed of the fact that you’ve managed to find so many unflattering pictures of him. Then ofc he’d rage about how you should delete them bc you’re supposed be supportive and not ‘betray’ him like that.

Mark:  his first thought would be that you might have them on your phone for revenge uses. He wouldn’t tell you that he found them, but he’s careful to not piss you off bc he’s scared you’ll show the other members, or the whole world for that matter lmao “I have an image to maintain.”

Jackson:  "I LOOK SHORT EVEN IN MEMES WTF" “WHY IS BAMBAM SO TALL HE’S LITERALLY SITTING DOWN LIKE-” “whoa lmao is that me and mark ;)” “send me those pics for um, reasons.” Insists on taking unflattering snaps of you, but he’s failing since he thinks you can never look bad.

Jinyoung:  he’s snickering and laughing at your collection of the other members memes, but he’s for some reason dead serious when he sees his own derp face staring back at him. Asks why you’re so obsessed with him, but he low key finds this cute and he’s planning on starting his own collection RIP.

Youngjae:  "ahahahahaha why is my mouth so big like am I always smiling??“ “oh nAAOOOO is that my nipple again” Laughs along with you and he won’t take it to heart, only bc he knows his fans probably are the same as you (ahem) and do weird stuff like keeping a million pictures of him (I wonder why they’d do that I ???)

Bambam:  "yo, do I really look like that? Bruh, I don’t understand why I need to call them hyungs when I’m like a foot taller than everybody. Me and gyeom rule got7 from now on.“ He’s cracking up and telling you he doesn’t care that you think they look weird, at least he’s slaying in every picture.

Yugyeom:  is really embarrassed that you went out of your way to find those cringy photos of him, but he’ll laugh at the ones that are funny. Thinks you’re such a dork for always replying with those memes instead of having a conversation, and he’ll probably send back pictures of Chris Brown just to piss you off.

Originally posted by whatwhot

So I asked him about love and what it meant to him. My mind was split into wanting to listen and fighting to silence the memories that raged in my own head, each one an ear-splitting scream. He said love was about trust, it was about being loyal, but all I could see was your hand in mine and sand between our toes and secret smiles shot that always hit home. He told me he wasn’t sure he’d ever been in love, not truly, not the head over heels kind of way that leaves you struggling for breath and your heart pounding a rhythm you’ve never heard before. I nodded in understanding even though I couldn’t relate, even though I could remember spilling my doubts and my fears like oceans and feeling the soothing sensation of the wind on my wet skin, knowing I was being listened to. Knowing I was home, here, with you, with salt clinging to my lashes. Knowing I could reach out and brush my thumb over the curve of your lips and having you lean into my touch. He said love was something that had to be felt, not seen, and I thought of the way your eyes lit up when I laughed or the quiet way you watched me when you spoke, waiting for my reaction. When he asked me about love, I told him I was sorry.
Sorry because the part of me that wanted to finally stop living in the past ached, but the other part that clung to memories like they were its anchor to this world won. It won because when I had asked you about love all these years ago, you’d only stared at me, that weird expression on your face and said, “why waste time explaining when I can show you?”
—  through the times / n.j.
Dog Protection- Tyler Seguin

Originally posted by so-hockey-eh

Ok so I think it’s cute! But I can’t tell anymore! My sleep schedule’s all messed up and my depression’s hit a new low so I don’t even know anymore. Would you tell a chickie if my stories start sucking? Anyway… enjoy!

OMG THERE IS A THIRD ONE NOW (He’s not in this imagine sorry) BUT TYLER HAS COMPLETED THE TRIFECTA!!!!!!

Warning: cursing, angry dogs

Anon Request: HI! I love your imagines! Can you please write a Tyler Seguin imagine where y/n is pregnant and she’s chilling on the bed with Cash and Marshall and when Tyler gets home he tries to cuddle with y/n but the dogs don’t let him. Can it be super cute and fluffy? Thanks!

And (since they’re the same prompt): I don’t know how you do it, but you are amazing. More than one daily update and they’re good, not decent, good. You have an extraordinary talent. I think I need a little puppy love in my life right now, so if you could, could you write a Tyler Seguin imagine where the reader is pregnant and Marshall and Cash are so protective of the bump that they won’t let him near her?

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

              You laid on the bed, propped up with pillows as you watched TV, waiting for Tyler to get home.

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Yondu Udonta x Reader

Yondu fic where reader is part of his crew and he gets jealous because some guy at a bar gets a little handsy. Complete with threatening and heartfelt confessions? Please - crazybunny02-blog

Long fic

Warnings for language, alcohol consumption, douche bag at bar, some name calling, and a slight suggestion of smut

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Me n my friends are on a trip w/ school, and we have these meal coupons for the park we’re in. We go into the restaurant and ask the host dude if the coupons are valid there. He says yes. After some seconds of silence and blank staring from his part, we seat ourselves. Then he walks over and says we need to be seated by him. Like…why didn’t you seat us then?

3

Ibis stumbled out an apology and then they resumed their conversation.

“Anyway.” Ella smoothed out her skirt and avoided looking at him. “Back to the reason you’re here.”

“I’m not really sure why am I here. I’m not touching or squishing anyone’s balls.”

“You’re here to do what I say.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Oh I think so.” She put on a smug face and stared directly at him. “If you don’t aid me then the administration will for sure find out about those substances you’ve been selling.”

“Really? Blackmail?”

“Your choice.” She tapped her foot and waited.

“Fine. I’ll help out. But only because he is an asshole. I still won’t touch his balls.”

“Whatever.” She smiled, happy that he had agreed. She walked to the door and knocked on it, letting the fairy outside know to come back in.

For a moment, he worried she might be about to cry, or yell at him.

“Kiss me,” she said.

Kit didn’t know where he’d thought the conversation was going, but definitely not there. He just managed not to start coughing.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

She moved back toward him, pacing slowly and deliberately. He tried not to stare at her legs again. “I asked you to kiss me.”

“Why?”

She was starting to smile. Behind her, Ty was still balanced on his rock, gazing out to sea.

—  Lord of Shadows ( via julianspancakes )
2

its been like 6 years since i’ve last drawn nico, my little italian death prince

4

Legends of Tomorrow | 2.11

We’ve been all over time.

i say “i’m seeing a therapist” and he takes a step backwards. why he wants to know. what happened. what made me like this, basically. what was the final step that pushed me safely into the side of scary people like them.

there’s a lot i think about. like how my illnesses effect me outside of the actual symptoms. like beyond the weight there’s a second river to drown in.

i mean we don’t talk about having to stare at employment papers where they ask you to self-identify your problems. that little bead of sweat that forms when you worry - what if i don’t tell them and i need help? what if i tell them and they think i’m a risk factor? what if they won’t give me the job?

we don’t talk about the way some people act when they find out. the ones who are rude about it are one thing. but then there’s those people you thought were your friends who act like you just told them you’re infectious. who become weird and distant and suspicious like a switch flipped. like if they get to close to you, you’ll give it to them.

we learn to be okay with things we overhear on the bus but we never get used to it coming out of the mouth of the people we love. we carry this secret with us like a rotted fruit, clutching it to our bodies. we’re ashamed of our scars in front of our boss. we don’t talk about our panic attacks during lunch breaks. when the cop pulls you over “i’m disassociating” isn’t an excuse we can open the page on. when you watch people make these ranting posts about how real friends always text back, how if someone loves you, they’ll find the time to spend. success stories make other people cry with inspiration while some part of your brain is saying you can’t do that, you’re not like them. things are uglier at the bottom. you can’t explain why you can’t just make friends. you can’t write because you’re depressed but when you’re depressed you write best. you can’t eat today and no don’t ask why please. nevermind taking the train. never mind trying to be happy. never mind reading books and watching movies and wondering where exactly are people like you in hero stories. i watch a video where a man tells me that being depressed is just a mindset. when i wear all black someone remarks i look particularly emo today. it’s 2017 does anyone say emo anymore, i ask her, and she laughs, “you just look like one of those fake-depressed girls.” okay.  

i don’t tell him my therapist is actually why things don’t happen anymore. why i’m getting a handle on it. my tongue feels swollen. i feel embarrassed talking about it. in the highest twist of irony, i think of how many people know my problems anonymously on the internet. i almost spill out all my troubles onto him. instead i tell him it’s just a precaution. that i think everyone should really see a therapist, they’re brain mechanics and we all need a tune-up now and then. he relaxes.

okay. okay. i’m sorry i’m one of them.

“…you’d think me rude but I would just stand and stare”

i drew @thatsthat24 ‘s Anxiety again,, but this time w/ more fireflies

i remember in thomas’s facebook live he said he really liked the song fireflies so i kept the song on repeat while drawing this,, i cant stop listening,, why do i think fireflies is a fitting song for anxiety i dont k n o ww w 


either way, here’s a lil anxiety with some lil fireflies

anonymous asked:

Au where Yuuri likes to draw and he sees Viktor while he's in a coffee shop and immediatley takes out his sketch book and starts drawing him. He gets like five and a half drawings done, before Viktor walks over and asks why he's staring. Viktor then notices the sketch book and Yuuri gets bright red and basically dies of embarrassment while Viktor looks at the drawings of him.

YESSS GIVE ME THIS AU