why is everything i make a joke

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

EDIT 2 please for the love of god how do so many people misread a post i hate this post i hate everything i never intended for this to happen

EDIT no one will see this but im not defending the guy, i dont like him, i like making fun of him and picking on him, hes an unoriginal and unfunny asshole who doesnt even have confidence in his own jokes (see: loss parody), idk why people think im defending him or claiming hes doing any good/nothing wrong and im not saying its fair he gets to make money off stupid bullshit because its not. im saying buzzfeed sucks and their humor sucks and adam ellis sucks and its shitty but also enviable that people get money for just being dumb and stealing jokes and i hate it but also i would probably sell out if i could make money doing, again, the most low-effort inane shit possible. not emphasizing with him when i say that bc fuck him im just tryna survive like everyone else

making fun of the buzzfeed comic guy is good but also if you got paid to do the most minimal bullshit possible would you not do it. if buzzfeed offered to hire you to write their “47 funny memes” articles that are all tumblr posts and nothing original and you got paid for it would you not do it. adam tots is actually owning all of us by making money doing the most low-effort inane shit possible

Unpopular Voltron opinion, with meta to back it up.

I don’t think the big Keith and Lance scene in episode 6 was meant to be seen as having gone well, or for things to be getting back on track in regards to Lance’s doubts. I’m actually pretty sure the conversation unintentionally made things with Lance even worse.

Just because Keith and Lance shared a scene alone together, without any fighting or outward disagreements, does NOT mean it went well. I know everyone who is a Klance shipper wants that to be the case, but the whole “5 feet apart” jokes and logic with their ship shouldn’t suddenly change the emotional tone that is ACTUALLY present here.

Do not get me wrong, it is clear that both of them wanted this talk to go well without any confrontation, and to talk with a level head and with honesty. They have both grown as people to realize this. It doesn’t mean there wasn’t a major miscommunication here. 

Lets go through this moment by moment, shall we?

Keep reading

What the signs do that annoys people

aries; talk too loud and too much

taurus; making a joke out of eVERYTHING ( everything isnt that funny bITch)

gemini; finds a reason to debate with someone on something all the time for no apparent reason

cancer; take their moodiness out on someone else

leo; think they’re right 24/7 (exactly why I can’t along w leos lmao)

virgo; them over analyzing shit

libra; flirting w everybody / being way too friendly

scorpio; being overly aggressive or possessive over something or someone

sagittarius; being too blunt

capricorn; their stubbornness ( don’t argue w a cap even if they’re wrong they’ll keep going until you back down)

aquarius; how confusing, distant and cold they are

pisces; being such an air head

Dating KJ Apa would Include...

Originally posted by missprongs

Masterlist

TAKING REQUESTS OF…

Warnings: none

Requested: Anonymous asked:” Hey can you do a dating would include with either kj apa or Archie Andrews?”                                                               (Writing about Archie Andrews soon)

Authors Note: I’m still writing on two imagines that got requested, and I’m trying to finish them as soon as possible. But besides this:School started so it means I need to study a lot and Weekends are then my time relief. So when you request something please don’t think there is a due until I finished the Requestion. But I’m trying my best!xx


- everyone would love you guys as a couple

- KJ would always mention in everything

- you’re his princess

- long and passionate kisses is the reason why you both are so in love with each other

- watching how KJ is doing his job in acting

- KJ would take you out every weekend

- no fights

- being the cutest couple worldwide

- everything is literally passionate in your relationship

- spending as much time as possible

- planing already the future

- being silly/goofy together

- ass grabing

- KJ is overprotective AS HECK

- make out sessions 

- doing Photo-Battles on Snapchat or Instagram Story

- making jokes about each other

- I think KJ is the type of boyfriend that would go with you everytime on a concert

- forehead kisses

- Netflix & Chill (non Sexual)

- sometimes you guys have those “Chill out” days on the weekend, where you both  just off your phones and enjoy the time together

- scalp massages when KJ cannot sleep

- taking silly pictures together

- jealously KJ

- KJ could never be mad at you 

- “You’re too cute to be mad at you.”- KJ

- teasing him about his red hair

- watching him playing guitar

- late night cuddle sessions

- you love it when he lets his beard grow

jungianca6  asked:

Wow, since 2013... I wonder how Tumblr and all sites were back in the day when S1 came out. Unfortunately I missed it and joined until last year lmao. Hey, you're like a veteran of the Snk fandom

I am indeed one of the veteran squad haha, idk why spending years of my life being a weeb should make me proud but I kind of am lmao

but I’ve seen some crazy shit, no regrets

*opens old fandom folder* let’s see
one thing I don’t miss from 2013 is whip wars, we still have some, but 2013 ships wars were fucking brutal lol

half of snk 2013 fandom was plastering this face of Levi on everything

this pose too

2013 fandom basically

the gifs were everything lmao

MI CASA jokes everywhere because we were that lame lmao (like we aren’t now lol)

literally very unnecessary horse jean edits, like why lmao (and why do I have it saved qsfsfs)

BIG ASS  TREES


qsfdsfs sorry I opened this old folder of mine and got carried away, I’m so surprised of all the shit I still have saved lmao

but yeah lol

I wanna talk about this interview...

A lot of people have been passing this image around the internet and laughing about how its yet another example about how much Harrison gives no fucks about Star Wars, and isn’t his honesty hilarious, and blah blah…

But did anyone actually watch this interview?

Because…I honestly loved this moment so much for the exact opposite reason. 

Yes, Harrison gives this joke and everyone laughs at his bluntness. But then IMMEDIATELY afterward he clarifies that he isn’t really looking forward to watching the Han Solo movie because he thinks it will be strange to watch someone else be Han. 

Everything about the rest of that interview - his statements, his tone - make it clear that the reason why he isn’t looking forward to the Han Solo movie is because HE is Han Solo and he is going to have a hard time passing along that mantle to someone else. 

It’s not that he doesn’t care. 

It’s the opposite. 

Harrison Ford has made a real effort in these past couple of years to reverse the idea that he hates Star Wars. He was so unbelievably happy and gracious at the Celebration panel this year. He’s been outspoken about how he is happy to be a part of it and how grateful he is to George Lucas and the fans. He has acknowledged that Star Wars was the catalyst for his entire movie career and credited the fact that he is still working today to the fans.

And he seems sincere. 

I don’t know why people want to hold on so desperately to the image of resentful Harrison Ford. 

Because he hasn’t existed for a long time. 

I need to keep talking about how that episode was the stuff drumps are made of because it gave us LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

Dan Goor was like oh so you want a proposal? DONE. You want a proposal in the middle of the Halloween heist? DONE AND DONE. You want Jake to be the one who asks? ALRIGHTY THEN. You want to see Amy make a title of your sextape joke? CHECK. You want to see Jake inform Mr. Santiago he’s going to propose? WHY NOT. You want to see the first time they met 8 years ago? HERE YOU GO. And you want to see the exact moment jake decided to propose? ALRIGHTY HERE IT IS.

I don’t think there’s anything else I could’ve asked for tbh

“Like what you see?”(MATURE)

“…but I was thinking, maybe we should-Hello, the earth is calling Y/N. Anyone home?” Justin waved his hands in front of Y/N’s face. She quickly focused her eyes on his face. “Mhm?” she mumbled.

“Where did I lose you?” he asked curiously, wondering what was on her mind. They were discussing which movie they’re going to watch.

“Um, you were saying something about, um, the girl on the train? You said you would like to watch it, since you liked the book so much.” she spoke unsurely, wondering if he even spoke of that. She knows they had that conversation few days ago, but did he mentioned it today, she wasn’t certain.

As a respond he giggled. She joined him, she loved when he would giggle, his eyes would nearly shut, his smile would grow so big and the sound was just like an angel was laughing.

“So I’ve lost you like three days ago. I didn’t even mentioned it today. FYI I was telling you about this new movie “Don’t Breath”, but now I’m very interested what was on your mind.” His smile grew even wider, he looked like he caught her in some kind of embarrassing action, and he actually did, without even knowing. She could feel hotness spreading around her face, she knew she looked as red as a tomato. She buried her face into her palms.

That made Justin giggle even more. “Oh don’t tell me that you were picturing me naked?” he wiggled his eyebrows. He knew it would make her blush even more, and he just couldn’t resist but tease her. “You know, you could’ve just asked, I would even put a show for you.”

She immediately lifted her head up and yelled giggling “NO” her cheeks were dark red. She once again covered her face.

“So you don’t want me to put on a show for you?” Justin placed his left hand over his chest, pretending he’s hurt. “I am deeply offended, Y/N.”

He couldn’t keep a straight face, not around her. She was just so embarrassed, it was the cutest thing ever. He extended his arms to her. “Come”

She shyly moved from her place on the couch and sat onto his lap. She buried her face into crotch of his neck. He chuckled once again, and so did she. “Now will you tell me what you were thinking about, if it wasn’t me naked?”

She took a deep breath. She had some thoughts on this, and how to explain it to him, without him getting hurt. She moved her face from his neck and looked deeply into his eyes. By now, his face wasn’t all giggly and happy anymore, it was rather serious.

“Y/N, what is it? You’re scaring me.” he looked concerned. She placed her hands on his chest and started playing with the shirts fabric.

“No, no, it’s nothing that serious, you don’t have to be worried. I just. Ugh, I don’t know how to say this. You know I’m not good at this things.” His face lightened up a little bit.

“So you where picturing me naked.”

“No I was not.”

“Well then you were picturing us having sex.” Her cheeks went red once again. “So you were. You know you don’t have to picture something like that when I’m right there.” He got closer to her. She knew where this was leading and she had nothing against it, but it was now or never.

She lightly pushed him back down, and he looked at her confused. He wanted to say something but she cut him off.

“Technically, yes I was picturing us naked, but there was more to it.” Her eyes once more focused on her hands rather than his eyes. He could tell that he was very intrigued by now, and he wanted to know more than just that.

“So what was that more?” his voice became lower. He’s words came out like a little growl, which only sent shivers down her spine. He could feel she tensed above him. “Tell me, baby, what was I doing?”

She was always so shy about this kind of things, and she knew she won’t be able to tell him her fantasy, but she can avoid it by a simple question which should clarify everything.

“What kinks do you have?” now for him, that question came out of nowhere and it shocked him. Justin was staring at her, not sure why she was changing the subject.

“Look, you know I suck at dirty talk. Stop giggling, I wasn’t making a dirty joke.” She lightly punched his shoulder. “You’re not helping.”

“Oh come here my embarrassed baby.” He got closer once again and their lips met for a quick peck. Once they separated she started again. “You have to know one thing, by all of this I am not saying that our sex life is bad, at least not for me. It’s amazing but I just feel like something is missing. So I wanna know what gets you off, what do you like.”

He didn’t know what to say, she caught him off-guard. He observed her and she just couldn’t take the silence anymore. “Fine I’ll start. Um, I like rough sex, and by that I mean everything that goes with it, choking, tying up, ass slapping, blindfolding, and usage of toys. I like it when a man knows how to treat a woman, how to be a dominant but at the same time caring and loving.”

He looked at her like she was someone else, he had no idea where that came from. She was always so shy telling him about her sex dream or simple dirty talk during sex, so it shook him up.

He cleaned his throat and shifted in his sat, he was getting hot from her recent confession. “So that’s what you really like, baby girl? Is that what you want me to do?” Justin got closer to her, she could feel her heart beating faster. She bit her lip and simply nodded.

He placed his left hand on her back and twirled her around so she was laying on the couch and he was hovering her. She separated her legs and wrapped them around his waist. He brought his face closer to hers, but never touching hers.

Suddenly he got up from her, she was confused. He offered her his left arm and she took it. He pulled her of the couch. Their faces met once again, but he didn’t make a move. “Since you like being tied up, I can’t fuck the living shit out of you down here where I can’t tie you up to anything.”

He guided her up to their shared room, and with every step was feeling more and more horny. Once they were inside, Justin pushed her against the bedroom door. She gasped from sudden harshness, but it only made her hornier.

“Tonight I don’t want to hear a sound from you, unless I gave you permission. Understood?” Justin growled into her ear. She felt unexpected heat spreading across her body. She nodded, she wasn’t able to answer his question. But he wasn’t pleased with that.

His left hand found her neck and squeezed it, first, lightly, then adding more force. “Understood?” he inquired loudly. “Yes” she mumbled.

“Yes, what?” he repeated after her.

“Yes, daddy.”

He lighten his grip only to lock his lips with hers. She expected it to be a rough and fast kiss, but he wasn’t hurrying anywhere. It annoyed her, she wanted to feel him, and she wanted him to just take her, without any foreplay. But she knew she wasn’t getting that.

His hands were moving up and down her body, but once hers found the back of his head, he jacked the off and held them up, above her head. It only made her moan into the kiss.

He freed her lips and placed kisses all over her chin. She knew what he was doing, and he knew the exact effect he had on her. “Please, Justin.”

All of the sudden he stopped, his grip became tighter. He looked into her eyes, his voice was low and steady. “I don’t recall giving you a permission to speak. Do that one more time and I will stop.” She bit her lip and tried to hold in a moan.

He freed her hands only to rip her shirt off. She wouldn’t be able to describe how hot and weak it made her when he ripped it, she wanted to moan, all frustrated. He took what remained of the shirt in one hand, while he used his other one to guide her to the bed. When her legs hit the end of the bed, he demanded. “Bra off, lay on your back, hands above your head.”

She listened, but she took the chance to tease him as much as he was teasing her. She slowly reached behind her back, she pretended to be struggling with her bra. He clenched his jaw and stepped closer. He didn’t even warn her, he just ripped it off and pushed her onto bed. She crawled to the top of the bed, she obediently laid on her back placing her hands above her head, meeting the coldness of headboard.

Justin seemed pleased, as he got onto bed, placing his knees on either side of her body, slowly making his way up to her, slowly rolling her shirt in his hands. Once he reached her, his crotch was directly in front of her and she couldn’t help but bite her lip.

“You like what you see?” he asked taking her hands in his and wrapping her shirt around her hands. He continued, never stopping to look down at her. “Now, this will have to work today, but next time, baby girl, you’re gonna be properly handcuffed. I promise you that.” He tighten the knot, making sure it was at the same time tight enough, but not way to tight.

He backed away a little bit, he lowered himself, so his face was at the same height as hers. They looked at each other, and Y/N just couldn’t take it anymore. She just wanted to feel his touch, his lips all over her body, his hands working their way up and down her inner thigh, his tongue circling around her clit, and lastly his dick inside of her.

She moved her head up but he was faster and backed away, only a little bit but enough far so she couldn’t reach him. He smirked at her while she let out a sigh. It seemed like he wasn’t hurrying anywhere, but Y/N was just about to explode. “Ugh, please Justin. Stop teasing.” She whined out.

The sound of her voice made Justin back away. He wiggled his left finger “That’s a no-no. What did I say? Speak one more time and I will stop. Do you really want me to stop? No? Then I will have to get those pretty little mouth occupied, won’t I?”

Justin got off the bed, still not hurrying anywhere. He stood on the left side of the bed, slowly undoing his kaki jeans. He used the opportunity to take his shirt off, shoes and Calvin Klein boxers. Y/N’s eyes never let his out of sight, observing every inch of his body, memorizing the little stuff.

“Like what you see?” Justin inquired. As a respond, she let out a loud moan. “Isn’t it funny that, when you have a permission to talk you don’t, but when you don’t, you do? You like being bad? Trust me I can treat you like a bad girl any time you want.” He growled, slowly getting onto bed, taking the same position as before.

He took his dick into his hand and placed it in front of her mouth. “Suck.” But he didn’t need to tell her twice. She took him into her mouth, as much as she could and started sucking onto it. His mouth felt open, as her eyes never left his eyes. “Fuck, just like that.”

She would gladly go slow and tease him, but she wasn’t able to take it slow. She picked her pace, sucking and licking. He grabbed her hair “So you wanna be a bad girl? Then, don’t suck a dick like a good girl.” With those words he pushed her head all the way to his pubic hair. She gaged at the sudden at the feeling of his whole dick in her mouth.

“That’s right take it all.” He roughly pushed her head back and forth, and every time she could feel the tip of his dick hitting the back of her throat. She could feel her drool all over her neck and chest.

“How selfish of me. You’re here all hot and wet, and all I think about is my pleasure.” He pulled out, heavy breathing.

“Are you wet for me? Or are you dripping?” he asked, slowly backing away so he was placed in between her legs. “Well, let’s find out.”

He harshly pressed his right hand on her pussy, rubbing her clit through her panties. She let out a loud moan of relief, finally feeling his touch. “Ohhoho.” He said excitedly. “Someone is dripping wet.”

He pulled her panties off, lowering his head, and without a warning connecting his lips with her clit. Y/N moaned loudly, throwing her head into the pillow and pushing her hips up. Justin placed his hands around her legs, separating them to get into better position.

“So delicious.” He growled against her, which send shiver all over her body. He pushed his two fingers in, making her moan even louder. He picked his pace with his tongue and fingers action, making her lose her mind.

She was feeling herself getting close, and she knew he felt it to, because he suddenly stopped. She whined because of the sudden feeling of emptiness. He got up and in a matter of second pushed himself into him.

The sudden change from his tongue to his dick made her scream his name out loud. He let out a loud grown. “So Fucking. Tight.” He muttered out with every thrust.

With his left hand he placed her left leg onto his shoulder, lightly hovering over her, his right hand found her right nipple, harshly nibbling onto it.

She was close, she could feel her orgasm growing. “I can feel you clenching around my dick. You wanna come? Well not yet.”

With those words he picked up his speed, and it made it even hared for not to cum. She tugged her nails into the fabric of her shirt. She looked up at Justin, her eyes begging him to let her cum. He moved his hand from her nipple to her neck, griping it tightly.

“Cum for me, baby girl. Cum for daddy.” Nothing more was needed to be say. She felt her walls clenching, and within the second she came hard, all around him, tugging her nails now into her skin, screaming his name.  

“Fuck. You look so hot when you cum.” He hissed out, not slowing his pace, while she was still high from her previous longly waited orgasm.

He stopped only to flip her around. “On all fours.” He demanded, and once again thrusted into her. She was feeling sore, but she didn’t mind, it felt so good to feel him inside her, she wished they could stay like this forever.

He tangled his left hand in her hair, tugging it back so he could appreciate her pretty face. His right hand slapped her each ass cheek twice, making her whimper after every slap.

He could feel himself getting close, so he picked his pace. Y/N wasn’t far away, even though she just finished one orgasm. She pushed her ass more up “Fucking hell Y/N, do that again.”

She pushed her ass up as much as she could, feeling satisfied that she could please him like that. “Are you close baby girl? Yeah? Cum with me, cum with your daddy.”

His thrust became sloppier as both of their orgasms hit them, she could feel his hot seed feeling her inside, and she screamed his name loudly. He growled loudly emptying himself into her.

As the rid their orgasm of, Y/N collapsed on the bed, and Justin on top of her, never pulling his dick out of her. She moved her head so she was facing him and she smiled. They were both breathing heavily.

“That was extraordinary.” Was all she could mumble into the pillow.

“Oh I’m not finished with you just yet.”

The Dozens of Times Eddie Kapbrak Came Home, and the One Time He Didn’t

(A Story in Sonia’s POV)


–There was the one time Eddie came home angry. Slamming doors, cursing under his breath. I was upset at the language, but more worried he’d catch a little finger, or a toe in the cabinets or doors. I asked why and he pushed me away. He had always been doing that lately. Am I being too much of a worrier? Maybe I am. He’s older now, and doesn’t need me as much. As much as that hurts to admit, seventeen is old enough to be independent. 


–He came home crying again. He’d been doing a lot of that, too. Something was different. He came to me for once. I was selfishly happy, but that left me when I saw him. He had a bruise under his left eye. His lip was cut, and his hands were shaking and red, a sign that he’d had a panic attack again. Those signs used to be foreign to me until he told me those weren’t asthma like I had thought for years. I’d like to think of myself as an almost expert on them now. The only thing hard for me to tell anymore is what might cause them. He has them so often. Eddie comes to me, and sits down, panting. He looks worn down and sad and resigned, as if he’s accepted a heavy fate, or like he was waiting for a piano to fall on him. 

This time when I ask him what’s wrong, he crumbles and starts to cry again. He tells me Henry and his psychopath friends cornered him in the locker room, and roughed him up. He shows me his ribs, and I see red. Partly the dried blood, partly rage. That little freak carved the word “Fag” into Eddie’s little side. It takes everything in me not to take him to the hospital, but Eddie insists he cleaned and dressed it as much as it needed, and it wasn’t deep, no stitches needed. I prayed with everything in me that it wouldn’t scar. When I asked him why they would choose that word, he becomes silent again. He seems to be trying to find the right words to say, and eventually he does. He tells me, stuttering more than the elder Denbrough boy, that it’s because they saw him kissing Richard Tozier. I had nothing to say, and he goes to his room before I could find the right words. I did eventually, over dinner. I tried to make a lighthearted joke, and said he could do better than little Richie Tozier, and that I loved him. He did laugh, but he also cried. This time it was the good way. 


–One time he came home excited, his feet barely touching the ground as he ran upstairs. I called out to him to get the door, but he was down just as fast heading out again. His cheeks are pink and his eyes are bright, and I can’t help but to think that just a few months ago this same boy was crying in shame over what had happened. He was a lot happier in general, due in part I suppose to coming out, but mostly Richard. Richie, Richie this, and Richie that. I almost wanted to tell him I was tired of hearing it, but his happiness wasn’t something I could get tired of. Despite being a trouble maker and a bad mouth, he did take care of Eddie. I did tell him to stop coming home with love marks- unsanitary and shameless little things. I tried not to think about the fact that he still probably got them where I couldn’t see them. He may be an adult next month but he’s still my little angel.

He tells me he’s finally going out on a real date, just the two of them. That they’re going to see a movie, and he tells me not to wait up. I know I’ll try to, but he always manages to come home after I fall asleep. Sneaky little boy. He tells me he’s already left the name, address, and number of the movie theatre on the counter, and that he’ll be with Richie who can be reached as well. I have his number in my Rolodex, as I do his parents, and the rest of his friends- you never know when you might need them. He kisses my cheek and practically skips out to the beat up truck Richard drives. It has a bench seat and the driver seatbelt doesn’t work most of the time, and I cringe thinking about Richie just sitting on it so he doesn’t get a ticket for not actually wearing it. Eddie promised me he’d never drive it, so at least there’s that. 


–He came home today, silent. It’s almost worse when he does that instead of crying. Eddie was pale, and he had dark circles under his eyes. I asked if he was okay, and he just stares at me. It feels like an eternity when he opens and says “The school won’t let Richie and I go to prom together… They said if we showed up they’d kick us out.” His voice sounds so fragile and small, like he doesn’t feel like a real person. I’m furious. I tell him I’ll call the school, but he begs me not to. He says it’s okay, he knew it would happen, that this is just the way things are. I, however, will not stand this. As soon as he goes to his room, I call his principle. I can’t remember exactly what I said, though I am equal parts embarrassed and proud to have used foul language in place of his name. “Mr. Shitstain” and I came to an agreement that they may attend as long as they are within a larger group. He will not allow them to have couple’s pictures, but he did reluctantly allow that they dance together. I tell Eddie in the morning and he cries and hugs me. He goes to Richie to give him good news. 


–He comes home after prom with a photo- the whole group is in it, all holding a sign that says “Loser’s Club”. I cringed at the name, but they chose it for themselves years ago. Eddie and Richie are next to each other, and I suppress an eye roll that Richard had ripped open his shirt to reveal an exclamation point painted on his pale abdomen at the last moment. The picture is slightly blurred, and Eddie confirms my theory when he laughs and says the camera guy was startled and tried to lunge at Richard to put all of his clothes back on. Despite this, I see the stars in his eyes. He is happy, so I am happy. 


–Lately he’s been coming home with heaps of papers, college letters, essays, SATs, tests. I try not to think about him leaving. I turn up the volume on the TV or the radio when he uses the phone to talk to his friends about it. It hurts and he knows it hurts. I’ve never been good at not worrying. This goes on for weeks. I fail to keep my tears in when he’s at school or out with friends, but at the same time, I’m immensely proud. He’s such a good boy. 


–This time he comes home, and he doesn’t say a word, and I can’t see him from the kitchen but I know something is wrong. His feet are dragging and his breathing sounds funny. I drop the spoon into the soup when I hear a crash. He’s laying on the floor and crying. Despite him being curled up in a ball I can see he’s covered in bruises and cuts, and bleeding badly. I try not to scream but when I rush to him I can’t hold it, he’s been cut up badly again, more words carved into his soft belly and his thighs. I can see the word “Queer” seeping through his khaki pantleg as he sobs. This time, he does need stitches. In many places. The only thing he says to me from the hospital bed is that he is oh so tired of this town. Richard never leaves his side, growling at anyone who causes him pain or wakes him up, like a wild animal. I’ve decided that I am incredibly grateful that he is who he is. 

He’s in the hospital for three days. Night one was cleaning and stitching and recounting what happened. The police had been called to file a report. He hesitantly confesses that Henry, Patrick, and the other cretins did this to him. Chief Bowers is red with rage. I hear him in the hallway calling my son a “flamer” but that his boy was “going to get it”. This is the first and only time I’ve yelled at a cop. Richie laughs and holds up his hand for a high five, something I wouldn’t usually reciprocate, but tonight is a night of firsts. Night two was observation and tests to see how bad the internal injuries might be. He has a concussion, but they found no internal damage aside from bruises and a cracked rib. They send him home wrapped in Ace bandages and taped up like Richard’s glasses. That night he tells me he needs to leave, that he can’t take this anymore. I’m angry, and admittedly irrational. We do not speak to each other for a week. 


–When we speak again, he walks in the door with Richie, William, and Michael. Out of his friends, Michael is my favorite despite where he lives being so messy. He brings me flowers and fresh fruits and vegetables. He washes them himself, but only once he gets here so I can see it. He’s a very well mannered and intelligent man. William is wonderful too, but I feel guilt in having trouble understanding him, and he has a habit of talking with his mouth full. He’s not as messy as Richard, so at least there is that. Eddie has healed nicely so far, most of the stitches are out already, and the scars he has, though sadly legible, are hidden under clothes. His lip and eyebrow have small scars, but they are hard to notice. The boys have folded boxes in their hands. I knew this was coming, but I still couldn’t bear it. I stubbornly told him I wouldn’t help him, and that I wouldn’t watch him either. He only nods his head, looking down. 

They pack up his belongings, and I step out into the yard, smoking my first cigarette in years. I swiped one from the Marsh girl months ago, when Eddie was starting to talk about college. I thought that was the worst, but this hurts more. He’s leaving too soon, and I can’t stop him. He promised me he’d finish high school, and go to college, but that he would not live here, in Derry. Because we weren’t completely speaking, I have no idea where he’s moving, and now I’m too embarrassed to ask. When I go back inside, William hands me a piece of paper, his handwriting surprisingly neat, with Eddie’s address, and number. He was moving just outside of the city, into the matchbox apartments. With Richard. I can’t help it. When he walks out of the front door with his things, he kisses my cheek. I can’t help it. When the car drives away, their silhouettes in the windshield. I can’t help it. I sit down on the porch, and I begin to cry. I can’t help it. 


–He doesn’t come in the door anymore. Not the way he used to. No angry slams, no excited pops as the door hits the wall. No silent entries when he’s tired. No little footsteps. He doesn’t come home. He visits, sometimes with Richard, and with his friends. He calls frequently, too. He’s a good boy. Time passes, and he came to visit after graduation. He got accepted to a college in Maine. I try to hide how happy that makes me. I promise I won’t go to the dorms too much. He and Richie talk about their lease ending and moving on campus. His little group of friends are trying their best to stick together. They all got accepted to the same school, and will try to attend until their majors take them elsewhere. It’s nice knowing that he’ll have so many friends. 

He doesn’t come home, but he visits. Holidays he even stays in his old room. Sometimes. Other times he stays with William in his new house, just down the street from mine. Sometimes they visit Richie’s parents, or Michael’s farm. It’s a lot like it used to be, but it isn’t the same. I know it never will be, and while I’m sad, I’m happy too. He doesn’t come home, but he gets married in the same church I was married in. They make the paper as the first same sex couple to get married in Derry. Someone booed them as they walked to their car, but before anyone said anything, Richard flipped them off. I don’t tell Eddie, but I caught it on camera. It’s framed in my room, shameful but endearing. He doesn’t come home, but he visits often, asking for advice. We’ll have lunch together and talk about stain removal, and he’s picked up cross stitching for Richard’s anniversary gift. He’s going to make a sign that says “Tozier-Kaspbrak” for their sitting room. 


He doesn’t come home, but he visits often. Many times with Richard, and even more happily with their new daughter. I’ve always wanted a daughter, so I spoil her rotten. I try not to be so overbearing as I was with Eddie. I know it had the wrong impression on him, and I don’t want her to feel the same. I give her sweets when they aren’t looking, and I teach her all about keeping a good home, and let her watch football with me when they need a babysitter. Eddie doesn’t know, but sports are a guilty pleasure of mine. I want her well rounded, too- to know that girls can like whatever they please. Her name is Amelia Isabelle, and she grows so fast. He doesn’t come home anymore, not like he used to. And I’m so, so grateful. He’s leading a good and proud life, and I’ve never been more proud to be the mother of Edward Tozier-Kaspbrak. He doesn’t come anymore, but when he visits, it’s like he never left at all. I’ve lived a good little life, I feel.



“Sonia Kaspbrak, 65, passed in her sleep in her home of Derry, Maine. Natural causes. She leaves her son, son-in-law, and granddaughter. Funeral to be held this Saturday, July 17th at the First Church of Derry. She will be fondly remembered by all who knew her. Everyone is welcome to attend the open service ceremony being held to celebrate her life. 
Thank you, 
Richard Tozier-Kaspbrak”

can I just say that being a goofy boy is a curse and definitely overrated cuz girls really be reblogging posts saying “need me a goofy guy” “where’s my goofy man” and at first everything is fine you’re making her crack up all the damn time (you’re ugly so you really gotta rely on these jokes) cuz you don’t got much going for you and three months in all that “i need a goofy man” shit is out the window she’s roasting you 90% of the time and all she do now is stare at you when you try to be funny like “you’re not funny why is everything have to be a joke with you” all that praise for a goofy man and now you’re just a one hit wonder with nothing up your sleeve except jokes she don’t wanna hear anymore so you’re ugly and you’re not funny how the fuck did that happen lmfao

what your fav homestuck character in 2017 says about you: The Kids
  • John: you just love this soft windy boy!! you super dig his aesthetics of blue and wind and flying and oh look you just drew a picture of him kissin some boys. "a pure, splendid boy indeed", you note as you draw john slam dunking dirk into a trash can as a prank
  • Rose: you are gay. you understand the true nature of rose as NOT a prim and proper lady but a pretentious messy goth lesbian who just likes to stay up at 4 am eating coffee beans and critiquing the homoerotic nature of literary works behind an Arby's or something. you love her and you love her twelve million girlfriends like kanaya, jade, vriska, terezi... the list goes on and on. you love her.
  • Dave: you really sympathize with his triumph over abuse and you constantly reblog davekat like your life depended on it. you understand that dave is the most developed character in the comic and you own a pair of mirror shades just to subconsciously remind yourself. have I mentioned how much davekat you reblog and draw and write? davekat is canon guys and your soft asshole boy got the boyfriend of his dreams. here's another comic of him in his underwear watching movies with karkat.
  • Jade: you SUPER DIG her aesthetic. JEEZE she is GOALS. you own at least 500 different pictures of jade holding the five planets on your phone and you love how she is both smart and capable of standing on her own. furries are a-ok and you like making dog jokes with jade. what a precious daughter. being part-dog was the greatest thing that could happen to her. also, you really think she got shafted in the ending and regularly post jade in many cute outfits to fill the void.
  • Jane: you draw her with bright red lipstick and a diner aesthetic. you are kin with jane and primarily ship janeroxycallie (or as I like to call it CottonCallie). you're kinda quiet about your love for her and don't post a whole lot. if someone else made a post for her, you'd be there giving your support and throwing in your own opinions.
  • Roxy: GOOD WIFE GOOD WIFE WIFE MATERIAL HOLY WOW NO WAY WOWZA GOOD WIFE. you are absolutely in love with her and everything she does. you get mad when people draw her with a drink because Hey, my beautiful wife worked her BUTT off to get past that and??? she did it??? wow. she's strong, she's beautiful, she's smart, she's sassy, she's funny. Wow. you draw her gaming, you draw her making jokes, you draw her in different aesthetics, you draw her doing void things, honestly who cares as long as you're drawing her. you might not be into johnroxy but ROXYCALLIE HOLY SHIT MAN. I cannot stress enough how much you love her.
  • Dirk: you can't help but love this trainwreck of a man. he's so problematic but that's why you love him! you regularly upload dirkjohn comics involving his wacky manime antics. everything you draw with dirk is gay or is him doing something ridiculously over the top but that's just the way you like it. sometimes you'll do character analysis posts that really delve into his subconscious and then accidentally attract 30 haters to your blog. you like how he cronches into an orange with the skin on and are CONSTANTLY shitposting.
  • Jake: you and twelve other guys are in the same small cult for this goofy boy's butt. you know just about everyone on this site that loves him. you would die for this man. everything he does makes you smile. you make analysis posts all the time about how he is WAY smarter than he lets on and is an ingenious manipulator but not in the Bad Way. you appreciate him way more than just guns, skulls, and movies. you draw him with very fluffy hair and have four askblogs for him. people will say you have bad taste and you will agree but continue to love him. every one out three comics is about dirk.
Significance

A NIGHT AT WORK | NAMJOON VERSION 

WORD COUNT: 9K 

He was a professor, and you were his favourite.

During your first year of university you found Mr Kim to be quite the English teacher, you always anticipated his class every Thursday and Friday afternoon and it seemed your hard work didn’t go unnoticed either. Late night extra credit classes soon became a place for your deepest and dirtiest desires.

warnings: graphic smut, dirty talk, rough sex, squirting, strong language 

Originally posted by just-namjooned

masterlist | ask | song

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anonymous asked:

I cant believe the art shcool u go to and the mascot is a pickle

we’re the fighting pickles yea

one of our sister schools’ mascots (the one for math & science) is a unicorn

its bc the school of the arts & the school of science and mathematics are definitely not schools that would have a heavy interest in uh ………. sports

how to not be an asshole and still maintain your moral standards

because it seems that for a lot of people there’s nothing in-between “I don’t like x thing because it’s bad for x reason and if you disagree then you are evil scum” and “yeah sure do whatever you want!!! give everyone a chance to express their creativity/opinions no matter what!!!!”

1. Know your shit.

One of the easiest things to do is to make yourself look like an idiot because you didn’t bother to look for more information. Before you form your opinion, be sure to rationally look at both sides of an argument and do as much fact-checking you can before you give your input. This goes for anything. Politics, shipping discourse, what have you. 

(something to note: not everything works the same in other countries as it does in your country.)

2. If necessary, make a distinction between what is genuinely harmful/derogatory and what upsets you personally.

This is important especially when someone asks you how you feel about a certain subject. There is a difference between Actual Pedophilia and “there is nothing Technically wrong with this ship but the age gap is big enough that the potential for a power-imbalance bothers me greatly, and I want no part of this”.

3. Don’t start shit.

Callout posts, angry messages, and witch hunts. Anon or not, just don’t do it. You might think you’re doing the right thing, but you’re probably just going to make people want to spite you instead of listen. Calling someone names or telling someone to kill themself is shitty.

Also, don’t infest someone’s tag with opinions they don’t want to see. If you feel the need to vent but don’t want to start discourse, use read mores and slashes inbetween words (li//ke thi//s) so that it won’t show up in the tag.

 Now, I’m not saying you have to be completely passive about things you don’t like, but there are other things you can do to avoid them, like…..

4. Just block people.

Let me say this again.

JUST. BLOCK. PEOPLE.

Or unfollow them. It’s super easy. One click, and they’re gone. 

You’re allowed to have opinions. So are other people. And guess what, you don’t have to look at them. Shocker. 

If you’re going to post something and it would make you uncomfortable if people gave it context that you specifically don’t like, say it. State it clearly, and let people know that if they do it anyway, they’ll get blocked.

Think of it this way: if you throw a party and someone shows up and starts doing things and telling jokes etc that make you uncomfortable, what do you do? You don’t invite them to the next party. And if they weren’t invited to begin with, then you take extra precaution to make sure they don’t come again.

Remember, it’s your blog. It’s your party. You’re the host, and yeah you want to make sure your guests are happy, but you can still set boundaries. How much tolerance you have is up to you.

(see also: blacklist. I’ve surprisingly never used it. But it can very easily control what kinds of content you see or don’t see.)

5. Be patient.

If someone is doing something harmful, it’s possible they just don’t know better. People are limited by their life experiences and might not know to think differently because they never knew they could.

People change. What were you like a year ago? Five years ago? Ten years ago? I highly doubt that you’re proud of everything you’ve said and done in the past. There were jokes I’ve said and things I’ve liked that I would never dream of saying now.

This is why I think it’s so, so important to not immediately condemn someone. People don’t often make complete 180s, so don’t expect them to. People don’t like being told they’re wrong, and might need take some time to sort out their thoughts/unlearn their behavior before substantial change happens. Does this excuse their behavior? No, of course not. Even without ill-intent, people can absolutely still do damage.

6. Know when to speak.

This can go a lot of ways. Certain fights aren’t yours to fight. Don’t talk over anyone else. Admit when you don’t know enough about something to give a proper opinion. Recognize when something isn’t worth the time or energy.

Also: learn to recognize traps. People will try to send “gotchas” disguised as innocent questions. These are usually done with the intent of twisting your words and making you sound problematic no matter your response. Even if you’re not sure, just don’t respond. Avoid confrontation and discourse whenever you can. Resist being petty if you know that it’d just start more drama.


That’s it. I hope y’all can go out and try to be decent people. Have fun. Your internet experience is up to you. You don’t need to make it someone else’s responsibility.

internet slang

as promised, some keyboard slang (we stole a lot from you)(sue us). I wrote what is accurate at the moment, a few years ago it was quite popular to write lik this m8 but it became pretty unhip (I could tell you that you can type “aussi” (: too, as well) “O6″ but literally no one has done that since 2008) most people write normally and add some of the following words :


basics :

- jpp (je n’en peux plus) : I can’t stand it anymore, I’m dying from the lols

- osef (on s’en fout) : no one cares

- mdr (mort-e de rire) / ptdr (pété-e de rire) : lol

- cmb / ctb (comme ma bite/comme ta bite) “like my dick/like your dick” : easy punchline to almost anything, ex : “the line was so long!” “cmb” “you have a short memory” (expr ”tu as la mémoire courte”) “ctb”

- cmt (comment) : how / cmb (combien) : how much/many

- slt (salut) / bjr (bonjour) / bsr (bonsoir) : hello

- bn (bonne nuit) : good night

- bcp (beaucoup) : a lot, much, many / tp (trop) : too, too much

- mtnt (maintenant) : now / ajd (aujourd’hui) : today / jms (jamais) : never

- srtt (surtout) : especially, above all / vrmt (vraiment) : really

- jsp (je ne sais pas) : I don’t know / ms (mais) but

- pr (pour) : for / pcq / pq (parce que) : because

- pq / pk (pourquoi) : why

- ss (sans) : without OR (sous) : under / sr (sur) : over, on

- tt (tout) : all, everything OR (tant) : so much, as long

- mn (mon) : my (m) / tn (ton) : your (m) / sn (son) : his/her

- ns (nous) : we OR (nos) : ours / vs (vous) : you (pl) OR (vos) yours (pl) / lr (leur(s)) : their / theirs

- fr (faire) : to do, make

- tmtc (toi-même tu sais) : you know what I’m talking about, private joke

- tkt / tqt (ne t’inquiète pas) : don’t worry

- c (c’est) : it is OR (sais/sait) : know (½/3p sg) / ct (c’était) : it was

- d (des) : some, ex : mange des chips / t (tes) : your (pl for one person)

- h (heure) : time/hour, ex : on se voit à ql h? (at what time do we meet?)

- keske (qu’est-ce que) : what is, ex : qu’est-ce c’est?

- kesta (qu’est-ce que tu as) : what’s up/wrong with you?

- ke / q (que) : that/what, ex : ke ve tu? (what do you want?)

- ql / kel (quel(s)/quelle(s)) : what/which

- askip (à ce qu’il paraît) : from what I’ve heard, apparently…

- oklm (au calme) : relaxed, calm, ex : petite soirée oklm avec les potes #posés


borrowing to english or kids :

- go : to leave (j’y go)

- dodo (beddy byes) : to sleep, sleeping (je vais dodo)

- miam (aka “yum”) : to eat (je vais miam)

- lol, the legendary

- chiller : to go somewhere and have some relaxed time, without doing much

- fat : something big/amazing, ex : cette soirée est trop fat!


dropping the vowels : 

it’s hard to explain but since so many words in french contain “ou”, “an”, “ai” or “on” (…), when we need or want to make verbs (or possessive pronouns as we have already seen) smaller, we drop those letters and the other person guesses what’s missing regarding the context.

a few examples (but you can play with lots of other verbs) :

- vx / vt (veux/veut) : to want, ½/3p sg, ex : tu vx d pom? je ss o magasin (do you want apples? I’m at the store) OR (voit) : to see, meet, 3p sg

- ss / st (sais/sait) : to know, ½/3p sg OR (suis/suit) : to follow, ½/3p sg OR (suis/sont) : to be 1p sg+3p pl, ex : où st t frères? (where are your brothers?)

- cns (connais) : to know someone, 1p sg

- pvs (pouvons) : to can, be able/allowed to, 1p pl


NB : I have used 1/2/3p sg or pl several times in that post, if you have doubts it means that those forms are the conjugated forms - reminder : je / tu / il-elle-on (singulier) ; nous / vous / ils-elles (pluriel).

Before S3 dropped, the “please, no” line managed to make it on my dash. Spoiler irritation aside, I’d assumed seeing Keith beg the Black Lion not to accept him would have me in tears. I won’t negate the possibility that knowing that line was coming dampened the effect – and don’t get me wrong, it was incredibly sad – but I never could have expected that this brief scene with Lance would be what did me in.

The fact that this scene is framed as a comedic moment, where the others complain about how long he’s just “sitting in there” and ultimately ends with Lance giving up and pouting, somehow makes this sincere moment resonate even more.  Because this moment? Lance sitting there just hoping he can do this, trying to tell himself he is worth enough to do this, is heartbreaking. There is nothing funny about Lance sitting in the Black Lion’s cockpit, closing his eyes, and just wishing

The juxtaposition of these two things only made the whole scene so much more jarring to me.

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Just something I’ve noticed about the last sequence...

Ah, the last sequence. Everyone is understandably focused on the parts with Larry because of reasons, but I think the little moments mixed in with the Larry parts are also significant.

Dean waking up after the hex, the hex starting to affect Dean, who is having problems doing the job. A neutral premise to the events that follow, I guess. Of course, you can also google ‘rabbit symbolism’ and find out that Symbolic rabbit meanings deal primarily with abundance, comfort, and vulnerability. Traditionally, rabbits are associated with fertility, sentiment, desire, and procreation. Dean’s disgust about the corpse in the morgue can also be seen as meaningful of his desire of living, of life, of the things associated to rabbits, which are the opposite of death.

So, comfort, vulnerability, desire… Dean seeking emotional comfort and sex with feelings, right? Let’s see what comes after this.

Ha! The waitress slaps him because he didn’t show up when they’d arrange to meet after the bar closed. She was busy doing her job (she says the bar was super busy that night) so she arranged to meet him afterwards (“we were supposed to meet after close-up, but you never showed”), and she learned that he’d left like his pants had taken fire. Nothing has happened between the two of them, because hooking up was what was supposed to happen but Dean left to chase Gideon (incidentally, a Cas parallel*). In fact, when Dean and Sam first start questioning her about the night before, she sounds jealous of Larry, because Larry got the attention she didn’t. By saying that Dean had had the hots for Larry all along, she’s calling him gay and blaming him for not meeting her as he’d promised. Basically: the sex with the lady didn’t happen. When she said they blew off some steam, she was presumably gauging Dean’s reaction, because it makes zero sense for her to have actually interrupted working to get with Dean when she emphasized that she had a lot of work to do and she arranged to meet with Dean after she’d finish working for that reason.

*Dean chases a male witch that is telling his… partners in crime? companions? friends? siblings? (they use the word brother a lot but don’t seem to have definitive ideas of what they are exactly) to run and save themselves. In the promo for the next episode, someone is telling his… partners in crime? companions? friends? siblings? (they use the word brother a lot but don’t seem to have definitive ideas of what they are exactly) to run and save themselves. So if Gideon is a Cas mirror, that opens up interesting scenarios of possible foreshadowing, but I don’t want to use this post for that topic.

I am really, really sorry about this, but in an episode filled with innuendo to the brim, you can’t tell me that isn’t supposed to be… you know… a metaphor. When Sam has him sit down in front of the tv, there is a moment of miscommunication where Dean thinks Sam is going to show him a tv channel that airs porn. So the scene has a certain layer added to it - Dean for a moment wonders if this is the kind of situation of… you know the kind of thing he watches that has two guys and a lady in it, like he said in the bar in 8x23? (Not the first time he doesn’t know who Sam is - remember how when, as Dean Smith, he assumed Sam was hitting on him. But I’m digressing.)

Let’s be real, that is a flower ejaculating on a dog, and we’ve talked to the death about which characters are associated to flowers and dogs so I’ll just leave it here.

(Part of me is screaming ‘do not post this’ because this is the kind of thing that gets you flock of haters calling you delusional and other very ableist insults. Anti-Destiel people, if you’re reading this, please let me have my harmless fun in my tiny corner of the internet. My friends and I here are using a piece of entertainment to get entertained and have fun and play with it together. Don’t harass people for something like this.)

The next moment is Dean’s exhilaration at the idea that their best friend is an angel. This is Dean smiling bright at the idea of Cas. We don’t know how much of Cas he remembers at this moment, but it makes Dean happy.

What’s honorable about a miniature bar in a motel room? Everything.

The last moment is different than the previous ones - in fact I think this last moment is meant to suggest that Dean remembers the events that have occurred between the hex and the end of the spell (the entire last sequence is about Dean remembering, since he can now remember Larry, that stands for everything that happened before the hex), ergo including his conversations with Rowena (it would also explain why he feels comfortable around her after she lifts the spell and they play the joke on Sam together and laugh together - he remembers her being emotionally open with him).

So all of this happens inside the sequence of Dean riding Larry. Do whatever you want with this. You can feel free to continue believing that the show isn’t setting up for a sexual relationship between Dean and Cas, I’m not here to force people to believe one thing or another.

But the episode is about Dean ditching a pretty girl to chase a guy who is framed as a Cas parallel, in addition to Dean being proud of his riding skills and generally being unapologetic about loving unmanly things.